teen titan fic

[K-dog]

woah, i made a new thread, cool. well this is gonna be a teen titan fic i guess and if any of you have advice that would be nice cause this is my first ever teen titan fic

[decka]

Oh yay! You r doing a fic! My adivice would be to space out your chapters so they arn't all cluddered. And skip a space between the quotes. Umm add detail! I had a problem with that when I first started. Also make sure you have good spelling and grammer. These people get to upset when you don't. I can['t like of anything else right now. Good Luck on writing your fic! I am sure that you are going to do great!

[K-dog]

well thx for the advice decka and as for the fic..here goes nothing



it was late at the titans tower. Robin and Beastboy where watching T.V, Raven was in here room medatating, Cyborg was in the traning room, and Starfire was making dinner. Beastboy looked over the couch and notest that Starfire was cooking "dude, are you sure you should let Starfire cook?" Beastboy whisperd in Robins ear. Robin shrugged "well you might be right but give her a chance ok" Beastboy shrudderd when he rememberd the last time he gave Starfire a chance. There was a shout from the kitchin "glorious the food is done" Starfire had yelled. Robin started to get up when Beastboy pulled him down "dude, where are you doing?" he asked Robin. "im going to go eat" Robin said pointing to the kitchen. Raven and Cyborg where already there when Robin got to the table. "Yo" Cyborg said out loud "what is this?" he said pointing to the brown lump sitting on his plate "it is an old tamaranian favrite" Starfire said while she gobbled it down. then there was a flash of light and the next thing they knew the titans where in this dark room, then a deep voice echoed from the sky "welcome my friends" Beastboy was backed into a wall then he asked "where are we?" Cyborg shrugged "i dont know, but i dont like it eather...




how do you like it so far??

[TerraWHRobin4]

good! but follow decka's advice!

[Raven13]

Hey I like this story alot. Very detail and it is good for your first Fan Fic. (Or at least I think it is)

Well the only thing that I suggest is that when some one is talking try to make that it's own line. (Some people here started out with that problem to)
Also try to make paragrahs. It might have been short but you might have been able to make 2 paragraphs out of that.

Anyway I like it alot. Very detail and the plot is starting out well. Continue writting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~ ~ Raven13 ~ ~

[K-dog]

umm this might be a wearrd question but how far can i go when it comes to gore? im just wondering cause the past storys (witch were filled to the limit with gore) wernt so liked so im just wondering

[Raven13]

Originally Posted by cityofdarkages

umm this might be a wearrd question but how far can i go when it comes to gore? im just wondering cause the past storys (witch were filled to the limit with gore) wernt so liked so im just wondering

Uhhhhh I dont know if they do have a limit, but personly I like it. Tough it depends how gorey it is, i do know that some peopel here hate it sooo much. Personly, I like.

~ ~ Raven13 ~ ~

[T.T.Raven4]

There is no limit that I am aware of, but if you are going to make this very bloody, and very violent please make a headline in your first post that clearly states Rated R or what not. Just make sure it's a "Read at your own risk" experience.

Okay, Now the criticism.

I'll say spacing first cause it goes in with my next ordeal. When someone starts talking, skip a line. EX:


Beastboy looked over the couch and notest that Starfire was cooking

"dude, are you sure you should let Starfire cook?" Beastboy whisperd in Robins ear. Robin shrugged

"well you might be right but give her a chance ok"

Beastboy shrudderd when he rememberd the last time he gave Starfire a chance.

End of Example

At least that's how I do it.

Capitalization. Everything in Blue was stuff you missed (In that paragraph). Not too much, but a few here and theres.

Spelling, and grammar. Common mistakes. Use Microsoft Word or some kind of spell check. Word is bad at correcting grammar, so I understand that part no matter what.

Don't squeeze it all into one paragraph. Space it out.

That says it all there. Good start, but everyone makes those mistakes, almost everyone, regardless of how good they are today. This seems like it could be a very promising fic. I'll make sure I check back.

~TTR4~

[Crowgirl]

I'm going to build off of what TTR4 said. He is completely right with what he said. Here is my list of thingamabobs:

1. Capitalization. It's important because capitals tell us where a sentence starts, or if a name isn't just a wierd word.
2. Paragraphs. One huge paragraph is hard on the eyes, and the basic rules for paragraphs are a new one for every new speaker.
3. Grammar, like TTR4 said, it's a common mistake, but it's not hard to fix it. If you're not sure, check on a website or ask somebody.
4. Spelling, just make sure you use spell check on Word. If you don't use word and just type the chapters on the reply thing, use Word. It helps a lot.
5. Dialouge. I already told you about the new paragraph for a new speaker rule, but make sure your dialouge is not choppy and forced. Type it the way you speak normally, and add variety to the length of the sentences.
6. Introductions and speed. Jumping into action is not always the best way to start a fic. You should give a larger introduction, about the characters, even though we already know who they are. Also, slow things down a little bit.

Other than that, it was great. I love where this is going and the detail. This looks like it has a lot of potential.

Crowgirl

[Matt A]

Yep, all that's about my opinion too.

This is probably more direct than you'd like, but I feel that I need to give you a more obvious example of what we're all talking about. In other words, if you were to re-write that last chapter according to our advice, it would probably look something like this...

Originally Posted by the story

It was late at the Titans Tower. Robin and Beast Boy were watching TV, Raven was in her room meditating, Cyborg was in the training room, and Starfire was making dinner. Beast Boy looked over the couch and noticed that Starfire was cooking.

"Dude, are you sure you should let Starfire cook?" Beast Boy whispered in Robin's ear.

Robin shrugged. "Well...you might be right, but give her a chance, okay?"

Beast Boy shudderd, remembering the last time he gave Starfire a chance.

There was a shout from the kitchien. "Glorious! The food is done!" Starfire had yelled. Robin started to get up when Beast Boy pulled him down.

"Dude, where are you going?" he asked Robin.

"I'm going to go eat" Robin said, pointing to the kitchen. Raven and Cyborg where already there when Robin got to the table.

"Yo!" Cyborg said out loud. "What is this?" he said, pointing to the brown lump sitting on his plate.

"It is an old Tamaranian favourite." Starfire said while she gobbled it down.

Then there was a flash of light, and the next thing they knew the Titans where in this dark room.

A deep voice echoed from the sky. "Welcome my friends."

Beast Boy backed into a wall. "Where are we?" he asked.

Cyborg shrugged. "I don't know, but I don't like it either..."

Notice the difference? Sure you do.

Anyway, enough with the negativity and treading on your toes. I'll end off by saying that if you follow our advice then this will easily be one of the best fics on the forum. And I'm not kidding.

PS: Like TT said, there's no real limit to what kind of gore you put on here, providing you warn us first. However, as I've learnt the hard way, swearing is remarkably objectionable...

[Crowgirl]

Sorry, I just thought of something.

You don't have a title, do ya?

[K-dog]

well thx for everything guys this chaptor wil not be gory ok. heres the 2nd chaptor













The titans looked around trying to find out where the voice was heard. Robin took a step forth "who are you" he said. no responce, Robin reapeted what he said but again there was no responce Raven sighed and looked down. Everyone was to busy looking around to hear Raven but surprisingly Cyborg did. He walked up to her and lifted her chin "whats the mater Rae?" he asked smiling.

Raven sighed "i seen this in a dream before but in this particular dream all of you went missing"

Beastboy got up from his corner and was thinking of how to say what he wanted to say without Raven tearing his head off "uhhh..Raven, in this dream of yours did you kill us?" everyone turned to look at him "what?" he said taking a step back

Starfire put her hand on Beastboys sholder "Raven will not do us such harm"-she then looked at raven worried-"would you?" Raven gave Starfire a look that said "your crazy". Starfire must have knew what Raven was thinking cause she changed the subject "where must we go to find the exit of such place?" she said looking around. Robin looked at her and shrugged "i dont know Star" suddenly there was a thick cloud of black smoke and everyone was coughing and choking. When the smoke cleard Robin was missing. "Where has Robin gone?" Starfire asked

Raven looked up worried "i dont know but he was the first one to dissapear"

Beastboy was back in his corner in a second

When Robin finnaly came to he was surrounded by a ton of slades robots "wh-where am i" he said "your in my obstical corse" said the same voice that welcomed them before "if you ever want to leave then you must first pass my tests" Robin looked around to try to find the person that was saying that "this is no test" robin said "this is crazy"

"no" the voice said "this is crazy" just than a light appeard in front of then showing the other titans in chains "if you ever want to see them again" the voice reapeted "then you wil half to pass my test". Robin pulled out his bo-staff and with an evil grin he said "whos first?".....







how was THAT chaptor???

[K-dog]

Originally Posted by Crowgirl

Sorry, I just thought of something.

You don't have a title, do ya?

no.........i dont

[Raven13]

I like it alot. Good Job! THe only thing that I still see is that when people are talking try to have there words be there own sentence. (Example would be Welshie's Mate's examle or TTR4. Aanyway I like it alot!!!!!! Keep writting!

(O and you spelled chapter like this....chaptor)

Keep Writting, we need more soon!

~ ~ Raven13 ~ ~

[starfire0639]

rey.............................-nods head back and forth-rey rey rey rey rey tsk tsk but you must remember the spaces and such and with the names capitalization on proper nouns member that k!sigh*such horrid writing from a newbie as for the gore and stuff oh ya and you should have fallowed deckas advie in the first place(sigh)as for the chapter in its own the only thing i want to ask is are the chapters going to get longer or stay at the short lenght that they are now? there real time savors cus as soon as you get into the chapter it ends which is also kinda like a cliffhanger but otherwise write more youll probably get better-if god gives help then maybe you have a chnace

[K-dog]

im sorry the chapters are so short, (hey i spelt chapters right yay) its just i have school and i practice the violin and i also have drum practice but somehow i make time for this lol but again sry for the short chaptors (ahh)

[Raven13]

Originally Posted by cityofdarkages

im sorry the chapters are so short, (hey i spelt chapters right yay) its just i have school and i practice the violin and i also have drum practice but somehow i make time for this lol but again sry for the short chaptors (ahh)

WOW you have alot going on, actually I dont care how long the chapters are. I know some people like long ones and some short ones. Sometimes though they can get a bit to long. I say contiune writting though!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yea....chapters

~ ~ Raven13 ~ ~

[Matt A]

Okay, that chapter was loads better! The assault course thing should be great fun...

[Crowgirl]

My thoughts exactly.

Can't wait for more!!

Crowgirl

[K-dog]

ok before i write the 3rd chaptor ima tell you right now that this chaptor might be extreme gore i dont know for a fact tho so this is a "read at your own risk" chapter ok