Teen Titans: Merry Christmas to all!

[Lord Welshi]

Hey guys! Yo and all that jazz, ya know? Ok, so here is my very special, limited-edition, one-off mini-story for the teen Titans. It is a christmas special. I'm not entering it into the contest, as quite frankly it's lame and i didn't spend much time on it and i don't have the patience for it at the moment, but here ya go anyway. Merry Christmas, guys!

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Christmas is a time of joy and laughter, of merriment and mirth: it is a holiday to spend with your families, and with the ones you love. Oh, how I wish I could tell you a happy story during this most joyous of holiday seasons: one filled with those most cherished of emotions I described above. But alas, these days, supplies of ‘joy’ and ‘mirth’ are running low; for you see, it appears the world is changing, and not for the better, I might add. Constant wars, be they with soldiers on the field of battle, or between the bloated politicians in their debates and conferences, are fought every day. Never is there peace, never is there forgiveness. It was during this holiday, many years ago, that a most unfortunate event occurred.


“Raven!” a voice cried into the room. Raven snapped her head upwards in irritation, putting down the book she was reading.

“What?” she replied, standing from her cross-legged position on her floor, and crossing over to her door. It slid open, to reveal the grinning faces of Beast Boy and Cyborg.

“We got something planned…” Beast Boy said, looking like a horrifically demonic elf.

“And we think you, Starfire and Robin are gonna want to be in on it!” Cyborg said, his grin matching Beast Boy’s. “Follow us!”

The tower had been decked out in festive decorations. Red and gold strings of tinsel criss-crossed the corridors, multi-coloured lights hung along the walls, and every now and again pieces of holly were fastened to doors and window frames. A large pine tree had been set up in the living room, complete with baubles and glittery items of some description. Starfire and Robin were sat on the couch, watching a Christmas special about elves, white beards and jovial songs. Cyborg coughed to get their attention, as Raven went over to them and sat down.

“Ladies and Robin!” he said in a loud voice that boomed across the room. “Your attention, if you please! My associate and I have created a very important new device that requires your full and rapt attention!” He glanced across at Beast Boy, and gave him a small nod. Beast Boy left the room. Cyborg turned back to his audience. “As you are well aware, the time of Christmas has come upon us! We have bought our gifts for each other,” he said, indicating the wrapped packages under the tree, “and we have displayed them beneath a large, decorated pine tree!” Cyborg was enjoying this.

Raven sighed. “Get on with it.”

“Right. Well, Beast Boy pointed out to me yesterday that we had forgotten someone who has been involved in our lives from the very beginning of our team! Someone important, who we cannot neglect at this time of festivity.”

Beast Boy returned, carrying a tiny, brown-paper wrapped box, and an action figure about 6 inches tall. He placed the figure on the table in the centre of the room, and placed the tiny box less than an inch away from it. “All ready, Cy!”

“Guys, what is this?” Robin asked.

“Yes, tell us, friends, what have you prepared? Who is this person you speak of? I feel terrible that we have forgotten someone so close to us!” Starfire said.

Cyborg winked at his green assistant. “Beast Boy, a demonstration, if you please?”

“Gotcha.” Beast Boy pressed down on the small box lightly then ducked behind the sofa. There was a click, followed by a bang. Smoke engulfed the table, and there was a soft ‘splat.’ The Titans sat on the sofa coughed and spluttered, waving away the thin smoke. They gaped at the site that met their eyes. The box had exploded, the paper torn to shreds. The plastic figure was covered in bright colour of paint: oranges, reds and yellows, mixed with blues and greens.

Starfire’s eyes were wide. “Friends, is this considered a good gift? Who would enjoy such a thing at Christmas?”

Cyborg grinned, and looked at Robin. “Can you think of anyone?”

Robin grinned back, his face a look of pure evil enjoyment. “Oh, I got someone in mind…”


Slade satin his underground lair, plotting his next plan to take over the city and remove his opponents, the Teen Titans. He placed a hand under his masked chin, and propped an elbow against the arm of his chair. Perhaps he had been going about this all wrong. His plans for manipulation had been partially successful, this much was true, but he had never quite achieved his ultimate goal of removing the Titans. He had tormented them, emotionally tortured them, and even had two of them as apprentices, albeit for a short while before they turned against him. He sighed quietly. Perhaps a more direct approach was necessary.


Slade was surprised when there was a loud knock on the heavy steel door that closed off the dark passageway to his lair. He quickly turned to the viewing screens, checking his security cameras. He saw the Teen Titans quickly retreating back down the passage, and disappear from sight. Slade rose from his chair, and quickly ascended the staircase to the door. He opened it, and glanced around. There didn’t appear to be anything amiss. He was about to turn to leave, when he noticed a large, brown-paper wrapped parcel on the ground. There was a small tag attached.

Slade bent down, and carefully examined the tag. Neat handwriting read, “To Slade: Merry Christmas. The Teen Titans.” Below this were five signatures, one of which was done in pink glitter pen with a heart above the ‘i.’ Slade smiled underneath his mask. They had left him a gift. He picked up the parcel, barely noticing the quiet click as he slammed the heavy steel door shut behind him.

Back in the tower, the Titans were all rolling around, laughing loudly. Robin had tears streaming from his eyes; Cyborg had a hand clapped over his eyes and was roaring with laughter; Beast Boy was curled up on the floor, trying desperately to breathe; Starfire was giggling into a cushion; even Raven was having trouble keeping a straight face.

“Did you see his mask? Looks so much better in red!” Cyborg said between laughs.

Beast Boy gasped. “His uniform looks good in pink and blue!”

Robin glanced up at the large TV screen. He had had the idea of placing a small camera in the package, and they were watching Slade standing in a puddle of paint, the staining liquid dripping from his body. He burst out laughing again. “I can’t believe he fell for it!” he said, before collapsing backwards onto the sofa and laughing harder.

The screen abruptly shut off, before switching on again. Slade appeared, his red and blue mask filling the screen. “I suppose you thought that was funny?” he asked, his cold voice unwavering.

“Yeah!” the Titans chorused.

“Well, I’m glad you enjoyed it. By the way, I also have a gift for you.”

The Titans stopped laughing. “What sort of present?” Robin asked. “What are you planning?”

Slade chuckled quietly. “It’s a gift much like your own, but on a…much larger scale.”

Beast Boy became aware of a low humming sound, which grew louder and louder, before ending with a dull thud from above. He also became aware of a dripping sound, overlaid with a quiet roar. “Umm, guys?” he said.

The door to the living room burst open, as mutli-coloured liquid poured into the room in a huge wave.

“Titans, cheese it!” Robin hollered, already sprinting for the side door. The others followed behind, closely pursued by gallons of paint and Slade’s maniacal laughter.

“Merry Christmas, Titans!” he chuckled.

[Everlasting]

Haha! That's great! The trick on Slade was funny, but the one on the Titans was funnier! I didn't expect that! Nice job!

[Raven37]

LOL! That was great!!! I loved it. Another masterpeice from Lord Welshie. Awesome job!


-Raven37

[Aquagirl15]

Funny, entertaning and totaly BRILLIANT!!! more great work from the desk of Lord Welshi! AWESOME!!!!

[Crowgirl]

Originally Posted by Aquagirl15

Funny, entertaning and totaly BRILLIANT!!! more great work from the desk of Lord Welshi! AWESOME!!!!

No critisms.

Crowgirl

[decka]

Oh I loved it! That was soo funny

[nevermore]

This is great! I can't wait for more. I have one thing that I want to get out. Now that you have two fanfics going at the same time, wouldn't it make it harder to keep up with both of them?

Oh well. Please post more! I am patiently anticipating the arrival of the next installment.

[Matt A]

I'm sorry to have to break the bad news to you, Nevermore, but he did say that this is a one-off. Sorry.

Anyway, as I was going to say...if this is you in lame-mode, then, well, you're even more of a genius than everyone suspects. The whole story, from begginning to end, is definitive proof that comedy is by far and away your greatest talent. Which is something that I've known for years...

[nevermore]

Oops. I guess that I should start reading the paragraph before the story.

[starfire0639]

ha the trick on the evil guy never woulda thought about that really i wouldnt as for the fic thingy i loved it!

[Sproxie]

Hilarius. I loved it, and if you think that is lame, your insane.

[Rae]

Totally amazing, funny and.....just awsome!!!

Why aren't you putting this in the contest?

[Lord Welshi]

This story won third place in the christmas competition! Woo, yay! I thought that anyone who hasn't had a chance to read this yet might like to, but it had dropped to the forth page. WEll, here's ur opportunity. Enjoy.

Lord Welshi

[Rae]

I see you took our advice and entered it, congrats on getting third!!

Rae

[Crowgirl]

What Rae said, you definitely deserve it.


Definitely.

[Destiny_Smasher]

Um...Paint...?

Anyway, that was good. I like some of your other stuff more, but that was fine. It was missing something, but I can't quite place it...

Anyway, congratulations on getting third in the Christmas Contest.

[Matt A]

Muchos congratulatos, matey-boy! !

[starfire0639]

woot woot! go welshie!

[Pookey]

rotfl...congrats!! Your work is amazing!!!

[Kregor8]

Originally Posted by L. Welshi

Ok, so here is my very special, limited-edition, one-off mini-story for the teen Titans. It is a christmas special. I'm not entering it into the contest, as quite frankly it's lame and i didn't spend much time on it and i don't have the patience for it at the moment, but here ya go anyway.

That's almost as funny as the story itself. Congrats on 3rd. I'll just take a moment to comment.
This story contrasts wonderfully with your "Tales of Gotham." It's just more proof that you can master both ends of the scale - comedy and tragedy. This is just as funny as "Tales of Gotham" is distrubing. I never thought the plot would work, and Slade's revenge was absolutely great.
Congrats again,
7<regor