DianaGohan
12-28-2003, 11:52 AM
Okay, it's the parody of the last new Zoid Episode for awhile. I will go over the first 5 episodes I didn't parody, and maybe even touch up on episodes 6 and 7. Looking back, I didn't really like Zod Fugors much. Okay, enough of that. Onto the parody..... but first two warnings:
Warning: This is a work of fiction based on a work of fiction. It contains material that is not for anyone under 16, whether that is bad language, sexual innunendo, violence or refrences to drinking and drugs. Remember: You have been warned.
Warning 2: Please do not read this parody if you have something off topic or just plain rude to say about it. I can take criticsms, but I don't want this to be locked up like the last parody. Please, be more careful with that okay?
And now the Parody.
LAST TIME ON ZOIDS FUZORS!
SWEET: Matt, tell R.D not to start the Liger Zero!
R.D: (Starts the Liger Zero) Oh man, who forgot to fix the air conditioner again?
DEET: You want my badge number fool? Here's my freakin badge number
(Throws badge at Gummy. Gummy ducks and it hits Hop).
HOP: Why must I always be the victim.
AMY: I will not loose this case!
SIGMA: Face it Amy... this case is already lost... we gave it to R.D.
AMY: Why must you keep giving beer to R.D?
SIGMA: I.... don't know.
MATT: (Looking at Helmut's dead body). Oh no, who could have done this?
HELMUT: Oh, don't worry about that. I just spilled some ketchup on the floor, no big deal.
MATT: Then what's that other red stuff?
HELMUT: Blood. I'm dying, duh.
TRACEY: In all my years of medical science I have never seen someone have sex so quickly.
SWEET: Hey, get your scientific ass over here! I needs me some more loving. (Sigma and Helmut are driving a boat. The boat explodes and they go flying off it onto an island).
SIGMA: Well, at least we're alive.
GILLIGAN: Hey there little buddies!
HELMUT: (Sarcastic) Oh great, that's something to be happy about.
GUMMY: Everyone I told about the file's dead.
DEET: Who'd you talk to it about anyway?
GUMMY: I told you, dead people! Must I use hand puppets to spell it out for you?
TRACEY: What do you mean cut the blue wire? They're most Blue Wires!
MATT: That one's orange.
TRACEY: I said most Blue Wires!
MATT: Then you use bad english you.....Russian (Sigma and Deet are seen shooting at something. It turns out to be Hop, whose out on his midnight stroll).
AMY: Face it Sweet, R.D's never coming out of that coma! (Sweet slaps her... then jumps on her and they start doing it. Meanwhile, Helmut is shooting at a Helicopter and it blows up. He then ends up falling on George W.).
HELMUT: Sorry Mr. President.
GEORGE W. BUSH: Just remember son. There's a war in Iraq... we have to do what we have to do?
HELMUT: Then what about the tax hike?
GEORGE W. BUSH: Oh, that was just so I could buy a golfing bag. Golf is important in the war in Iraq.
SWEET: Oh no! R.D lost to the Matrix Dragon that was too stupid to finish him off and now we can't contact him. Oh no! (1000 Points to anyone who gets this entire refrence. Yes, I'm doing points again. So sue me).
IT'S A BUNCH OF GUYS FIGHTING IN THEIR ZOIDS AND WE WANT TO CALL IT A FACE OFF BUT OUR FACES WERE RIPPED OFF SO WE'RE SAD NOW
AT THE SAVAGE HAMMER'S 19th REUNION TOUR... I MEAN BASE!!!!
AMY: Hey, you guys stole our team's Zoid!
SANDRA: Who are you anyway?
AMY: I'm an on again off again character thanks to the writer's inablity to use a bunch of characters in one episode.
SANDRA: Well uh.... we didn't steal your Zoid.
AMY: Oh yeah? Then what about that sign that says "Yes we did steal your Zoid."
SANDRA: Oh, well that's uh..... one of Luke's paintings. He's an artist.
LUKE: If you count drawing pictures of Blake smacking down forest animals.
FLASHBACK
BLAKE: Hey, that bear sounds almost like R.D! I HATE YOU ******* **** **** KILL YOU BEAR **** **** ****** R.D'S MOM!!!!!!!
SANDRA: You see?
AMY: Well then what about that other sign that says "That other sign wasn't made by Luke for an Arts class. We really did steal your Zoid." (900 points for the refrence)
SANDRA: Well look at this paperwork. This proves it's ours.
AMY: Yeah, but it also says you forced these guys to legally sign it... in they're blood!
SANDRA: Well yeah, I was feeling pretty vicious that day.
SPIKE: Vicious? You don't even know what Vicious is! (700 points for the refrence).
VULCAN: Wrong show buddy.
SPIKE: Oh yeah, sorry.
SANDRA: Well look, we took your Zoid. We all know that. But thanks to my evil bastardlyness, we have it legally. And we'll give it back to you for 1 Million Dollars! (Finger on cheek).
AMY: That seems fair.
SANDRA: I meant 1000 billion...zillion...quintillion...zeppi zeppi zooney zooga zoo... YEN! (1200 points for the refrence).
AMY: How much is that in dollars?
SANDRA: 3 Dollars.... but you have to pay it in yen!
AMY: That's cheap girl! No one has that much yen!
VULCAN: Hey, don't make us throw you out of here.
AMY: Fine then, I'm leaving. Screw you guys!
SANDRA: Wait, hold on a second. (Takes sunglasses out of her breasts and put's it in Amy's breast). There you go.
AMY: Why the hell did you do that?
SANDRA: Listen, there are some things that I'll explain to you and -
AMY: Yeah yeah. Wait a minute, are you even wearing a bra?
SANDRA: No, I forgot to.
AMY: You should have it show on the outside, like mine! That way you'll never forget you're wearing it, and neither will the fans.
BACK AT THE BASE OF MACHINNA DE STORMO!!!!!
AMY: Well I tried reasoning with them, but they just wouldn't give in.
R.D: Hey, it's that girl! Mary Kate Olsen!
AMY: Still as stupid as ever, hey R.D?
R.D: That depends. Is you're twin sister around?
AMY: Here, take these and shut up (Takes sunglasses out of clevage).
R.D: Hey I know what to do with these! (Throws them).
HOP: And you're failure reminds me of a story that's boring and pointless and (the Sunglasses get thrown at him and fracture his skull). Ow! Why must the good be hit on the head? (2200 points for the refrence).
AMY: Look how angry I am! I am really overreacting and you can tell it! My voice actor needs to learn how to express anger.
SIGMA: Oh well. We can always get a replacement Zoid. The Rock And Playset Zoid's pretty cheap. I saw one on sale for like 20 bucks.
R.D: No, we cannot replace the Zoid. That would just confuse people. Remember when they had Tracey on Pokemon
THE ORANGE ISLANDS!
TRACEY: You know Ash, you are really quite sexy. Anyone ever tell you that?
ASH: Well I have been working out. I stretch the Pokeball back once and then pose and I do that 10 times a day.
MISTY: Hey, he's my boyfriend! And aren't you 6 years older then him at least?
TRACEY: Yeah well... (pushes her off the Lapras).
ASH: Hey, what happen.
TRACEY: Uh.... Titanic.
ASH: Well that explains nothing about everything!
SIGMA: Wasn't there suppose a kid who traces and watches Pokemon that replaced Brock?
R.D: Not in me, (And Corrado's) mind. Besides, no need to pay for another Zoid. I'll get it back.
AMY: Didn't you just hear me say that I couldn't get it back?
R.D: Yeah, well you suck Melissa Joan Heart!
AMY: Will you ever remember my name?
R.D: Probably not. And I happen to be more then just a professional Zoids pilot main character.
MATT: Really?
R.D: Oh sure, I've had lots of jobs. Negotiator-
NEGIOTAOR JOB
GUY: I can't believe we had to give up all our gold!
R.D: Hey it was worth it to get this piece of paper. It's good for 20% off at your next Pizza Hut purchase.
GUY: That expired 2 months ago.
R.D: Well, it's still a nice peice of paper.
GUY: You are the worst negoitator ever.
R.D: I'll give you that... for 3 staples (900 points for the refrence).
GUY: Why you! (Starts to choke R.D)
R.D: Detective-
R.D DETECTIVE'S JOB!
GUY 2: You got to help me. My wife died!
R.D: Hold on a second. I'm a detective. Hmmmmm.... Meteors did it!
GUY 2: What?
R.D: That will be 20$ dollars. (1100 points for the refrence).
GUY 2: But you didn't even do anything.
R.D: You mean "Here's your 20$ dollars".
GUY 2: Why you! (Starts to choke R.D)
R.D: Or even a Pimp-
R.D PIMPING IT!
R.D: You for shizzle my hizzles connizzles! I got your back.
GUY 3: But we're surrounded by angry prostitutes who want more money! What are we going to do?
R.D: For Chizzle pizzle, I gots me the Magic Stick!
GANDALF: Hey, that's my magic stick!
R.D: Well all I saw you do with it was glow that light for a second. Some wizard.
GANDALF: Why you! (Starts to choke R.D).
R.D: Well, I admitt there were some problems, but that last time I got to see Return Of The King for free and it KICKED... ASS.
SWEET: Duh.
SIGMA: R.D we're not letting you go Negoiate. We don't want to end up up on the streets again.
R.D: How was I suppose to know that you have to pay back credit card debt?
EVERYONE: You're not doing it R.D!
R.D: Yes I am!
EVERYONE: No you're not!
R.D: Uh... no I'm not.
EVERYONE: Yes you... D'oh!
R.D: Hey, I outsmarted someone! This is the greatest day in my life!
BACK AT SAVAGE BOYS AND THE HAMMER BROTHERS BASE!
SANDRA: You guys sure did good.
Mr. MAN: I'll say. We did so good, I actually get to use my real name this time. Or at least a lot better one then before.
VULCAN: I must say, our Matrix Dragon Rulioed Like Coolio.
WATT: But Coolio aint even popular no more.
VULCAN: Just like Blake and Gilbert. Boy they suck.
GILBERT: (Thinking) I'll come over there and slit you.
WATT: Yeah, we're so cool we can read other people's mind.
GILBERT: Eeep!
SECURITY GUY: Sandra help, our security force was penetrated by one small child!
MATT: Hey, I've played a lot of Metal Gear Solid 2. And Prince Of Persia. Why must there be mindtrips in that game? They suck so much.
VULCAN: What do you want?
MATT: Well, even though it's 3 days past Christmas-
SANDRA: Hey, you can't say that! It may not be 3 days past Christmas when someone is reading this.
MATT: Can you just give me back my Zoid?
MR. MAN: Of course we can't. We're evil. We're those guys that come in your house and wreck it just for fun.
MATT: So that's why you wrecked R.D's room.
BLAKE: No, that was me! I HATE HIM SO MUCH!!!!!!
R.D: Hey, look I'm here!
BLAKE: Time to die! (Charges at R.D with a knife and ends up falling down the stairs). DAMN YOU STAIRSSSSSSS! I HATE YOU LIKE I HATE R.D!!!!!
VULCAN: Why does he hate you so much.
R.D: Oh yeah, like I know. Anyway, we warned you before. Now time for action! Double guns of justice attack!!!!
SANDRA: Those are water guns.
R.D: Yeah, well, I sure am soaking you quite good aren't I?
SANDRA: It's more annoying then persuasive.
R.D: I got it! How about we play Bingo to see who gets the Zoid!
MATT: No R.D, you suck at Bingo!
BINGO
ANNOUNCER: O 71!
R.D: Bingo Bingo!
ANNOUNCER: Sir, you don't have any of the numbers we called. That's not even a Bingo mat your playing on. It's a bowl of Enchiladilos.
R.D: Enchiladitos, they make you wanna eat them! (1200 points for the refrence). I think yuo're just discriminating against me because I'm black!
ANNOUNCER: You're not even black.
R.D: I am on the inside.
R.D: Okay then, how about we play a round of topless hoops? Guys vrs girls. Blake, you don't mind playing on the girls team, do you?
BLAKE: R.D I'M GONNA DO STUFF TO YOU! (Lunges at him and falls out window). Damn you again R.D!!! I HATE YOU 6 TIMES MORE!
R.D: Well there goes the center. How about just a Zoids battle.
SANDRA: I don't know. It seems that all of these kid animes involving merchandsie like toys and cards always revolve solving they're problems around them. Like in Yu-Gi-Oh!
YU-GI-OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
YUGI: I challenge you to a duel!
CLERK: That's nice sir, but you still have to pay 750 for your meal.
YUGI: Not if I duel you!
CLERK: Why should I duel you when you should pay for it?
YUGI: Because.... my hair is very spikey!
CLERK: That sure convinced me.
SANDRA: But very well then. We'll battle... in a week.
R.D: Okay then.
3 DAYS LATER!
SANDRA: (On the street) Hey R.D, see you in 4 days! (1500 Points for the refrence)
3 DAYS BEFORE!
SIGMA: You challenged Savage Hammer to a Zoid battle? What are you stupid?
R.D: I think we all know that answer is.... no.
SIGMA: I don't think we do.
R.D: Don't worry. I brought back this guy (Last seen in the Invisible Zoid and Pilot mini arc) to help out.
DAN: It was either do that or don't show up for another 5 episodes, and I need me some money.
R.D: And all you have to do is fix my Zoid in less then 7 days.
DAN: Okay, but I don't want you "helping" again.
FLASHBACK
R.D: Hey, connect that wire to that wire.
DAN: No don't do (Does so. The Leg of the Zoid explodes).
R.D: .... That's covered in our insuarance right?
DAN: It was, until the retalier stopped giving us R.D insurance!
R.D: Hey you know what I noticed? R.D backwards is D.R, and that's like a doctor. That means I'm part doctor! Time to operate!
HOP: I remember that! You took out both of my kidneys and inserted rabid weasels.
R.D: And you've been okay, right?
HOP: I've never been okay, ever!
SIGMA: R.D you idiot! It's not just the Matrix Dragon, the Beserk Fury will also be there.
R.D: Meh. He's a weakling compared to the Zero version of him.
SIGMA: Maybe, but Blake will be all over you're ass with that. Like the time at the picnic
PICNIC
R.D: Oh boy, the Teddy's Bear Picnic!
BLAKE: I'M GONNA KILL YOU ROTTEN AND GROTTEN!
R.D: There is not such word as Grotten.
BLAKE: I'M STILL (Falls down hill and gets mauled by bears).
BEARS: And that's for old Petey you beat up on!
BLAKE: If I didn't hate R.D so much you would be on my enemies list! Along with little mimes and Polkadotted pants!
R.D: I'm sure everything will be fine. In fact, I feel a plot turn coming on. Oh wait, that's just Sweet's dinner. Excuse me (goes to the bathroom).
SWEET: Hey, so what my cooking's done down because I need to hore out so much? Why don't you just order out?
SIGMA: That's why I got this Pizza.
SWEET: But that's not ordered out.
SIGMA: It's not delivery, but Djourno's!
MATT: (To Auidence) Oh come on. Like you're surprised we sold out.
AT THE SAVAGE HAMMERSON AND SOMETHING OR OTHER BASIE!!!!
MR. MAN: And here's a few other reasons Blake sucks!
BLAKE: Hey, I'm right here you idiot!
VULCAN: Duh, we know. We want you to hear how much you suck.
BLAKE: Oh yeah? Well watch my badassness as I throw to the ground.
LUKE: All in well done close ups.
VULCAN: Samurai Jack did one better in the episode that aired after this! (50 points for the episode name)
WATT: How about we make this a deal of men? We make this a three way and whoever loses is kicked out of Savage Hammer and has to become the next Brittney Spears?
BLAKE: My ego makes me take your bet, and I know I'LL WIN BECAUSE R.D IS THE WORST AND I'M THE BEST AND I WILL KILL HIM SO MUCH!!!!!
VULCAN: What is it with you and R.D?
BLAKE: That's a good question.....................
MR. MAN: And?
BLAKE: They never told me yet. They just said "act angry at R.D" We'll explain later... maybe.... we hope.
COMMERICAL
R.D: Hey, I like those Toaster Strudels! Why are they never in our grocerey?
SWEET: Because when I have sex... uh, play with... they don't give them out. Just oranges.
R.D: These oranges are like memories
SWEET: That's tomatoes stupid.
R.D: Well I'm like RD.
SWEET: No you're not.
R.D: Well this one time.... I saw this girl having sex with a bunch of robots, and said to myself "Hey, where's woody?" and then he popped up and said "Here I am!"
SWEET: That wasn't me having sex with those robots you know... okay it was, but there's nothing wrong with that....... at least in my mind.
AT THE BASE OF THOSE GUYS WHO ARE THE MAIN CHARACTERS AGAIN!!!!
SANDRA: This will be a 3 on 3 duel.
SWEET: Okay, but I prefer 67 on 1.
SANDRA: Whose the one?
SWEET: Let me just say it aint Neo.
SANDRA: I am disgusted beyond belief. Just check these guys you're fighting the Matrix "Not a ripoff of the Power Rangers Or Voltron or that show where 4 Kids battled this guy in Cybperspace (1300 points for the show name)" Dragon, Beserk "Vega's a far better pilot then Blake and can actually make it look good" Fury, and Lord "He's the 3rd Guy who really dosne't do anything and his name is a ripoff of Gundam" Gale.
R.D: That dosen't sound so bad. We can use Liger Zero Phoenix, Command Striker, and this rock!
AMY: Hey, what about me?
R.D: I don't know Courtney Cox Arquitte, you didn't win any battles so far, and the rock is shiny!
AMY: Yeah, well that means I'm overdue! Me and Koning Wolf will take those guys down.
R.D: Well (looks between her and the rock) Sorry rock, but she was hear first! (Tosses rock away. 1800 points for the refrence).
HELMUT: No here's the stragey that looks good on paper and computer but we
end up not using at all and let R.D do his thing.
R.D: Why bother making up stragies then?
HELMUT: I saw them do it on Zero, and said hey what the hell? Speaking of
just for the hell, let's have some training scenes of you in the Liger Zero Phoenix training to be the distraction and me and Sigma in the Command Striker praticing firing so it sounds like we'll actually follow the strategy.
R.D: How about shots of "Sweet Goes Wild with Tracey and Amy?"
AMY: How about not?!!!!
R.D: Okay, but someone out there's not gonna be happy.
CORRADO: I am unhappy.
SHOUJAFAN: Hey, look I'm in this. Pan Smash! Oh wait, wrong story.
IN THE TRAINING GROUND!
MATT: Here's some water for you R.D.
R.D: This is poisoned right?
MATT: No... they ran out of poison.
R.D: Oh, and blah blah you can't help because you suck and don't have a license.
MATT: Fine, I'll just read to you my 360 reasons why Evangelion will never be on Cartoon Network.
R.D: But what about Giant Robot Week?
MATT: Reason 281-
THE DAY OF THE BATTLE!
R.D: That was sure a rough transition!
MATT: R.D! I believe in you!
R.D: Really?
MATT: No, but Sweet made me bet that you would win so I have to pretend you actually will win.
R.D: Don't worry. We'll win, just like the Russians in the Cold War.
MATT: They didn't win!
R.D: Well.... oh no, communicator's breaking off! (Smashes communcator button with a hammer).
VULCAN: We all know how much you suck it R.D? What with your lowbrow phrases and stupidity.
R.D: Oh yeah? Well come here a minute!
VULCAN: You come here a minute.
R.D: Oh yeah? (1700 points for the refrence). Time for me to be a distraction, just in One Peice.
ONE PEICE: You don't even know who we are, do you?
R.D: Okay, well uh... fast flying time! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
SIGMA: My anger is obviously blinding my judgement on when to fire!
HELMUT: Like the world dosen't have enough angry little white boys.
SIGMA: Boy don't make me go ver there.... wherever you are in that Zoid.
GILBERT: Ha ha! You're just a girl!
AMY: And you're a nobody.
GILBERT: So? Don't you notice how unequal women are treated in Zoids Fuzors? I mean, just what is Sweet's point anyway?
SWEET: Hey, not just anyone can hore and file papers you know! It takes skill... and a really great ass and breasts.
SIGMA: Well, looks like the plan isn't working because of my inablitiy to fire.
HELMUT: It's times like this I had joined that other show
THAT OTHER SHOW!
OPTIMUS PRIME: Time to Transform!
HELMUT: (Singing... badly) Transformers... there robots in disguise... or uh, they do something.... there robots and more then meets the eyes with them, and uh.... that word's smuged so I can't read it.
DIRECTOR: You said you knew the words!
HELMUT: Yeah, to the Mary Tyler Moore Them Song.
DIRECTOR: Well looks like you'll make it after all... NOT!!!!
HELMUT: And that's how you do it.
SIGMA: Do what?
HELMUT: Go off tangent. You taking notes Shoujafan?
SHOUJAFAN: I'm taking them, I'm taking them!
SIGMA: And this is how I fire! Oh wait, where'd he go!
WATT: Smackdown!
SIGMA: Ow, we're WW Out!
GILBERT: Yeah, and I knocked the girl out to! Female Zoid pilots suck in Fuzors!
AMY: Where's the equal rights amendment when you need it?
BLAKE: DIE R.D DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
R.D: Oh no, I'm shot down!
BLAKE: I WILLLLL KILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL YOU KNOW AND FINALLY GET BACK AT YOU FOR A REASON THAT NOBODY EVEN KNOWS ABOUT!!!!!
MR. MAN: Hell no sucker! He's our b****.
BLAKE: Oh no he's not! He's mine.
R.D: Hey guys, there's plenty of me to go around... when I blast your asses of anyway!
VULCAN: Oh no you don't! Super air combat!
R.D: More Air Combat!
HOP: I can't believe it! An actual good battle.
MATT: That sure is a 3 way.
SWEET: Oh please. I've had far better 3 ways, and they were just yesterday.
HOP: Want to have one right now?
SWEET: Let me respond in typical anime girl fashion (Knocks him senslesless and then kicks him into the background).
MATT: What about just a two-way?
SWEET: Sure, let's go. (They go into the bedroom).
SIGMA: And once again, we lost easily so R.D can look good.
HELMUT: Yeah well, at least we beat Gilbert.
AMY: Hey, how did we beat him anyway?
SIGMA: Thorugh the magic of learning... and plotholes. Big ones that can swallow whole planets.
GILBERT: Curse the writers wanting a 3-way battle.
WATT: Well, we're obviously much better then you. Look at how we shoot both of you down!
BLAKE: R.D THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT AND I HATE YOU TO THE EXTREME!!!!!
R.D: God damn you! Let me be the hero and somehow pull a victory out of my ass like I did 2 episodes ago.
WATT: Nuh uh! We're gonna beat both of you so bad.
R.D: Look, it's the Plot Device!
PLOT DEVICE: Hello! (1100 points for the refrence).
VULCAN: So what?
R.D: And the huge ass plot device over there.
ENERGY LIGER: Hello! With Blasters!
BLAKE: I'm down! R.D I HATE YOU LIKE MY MOTHER SPLATE YOU!
MR. MAN: We were taken out easily by that one Zoid! And after how much ass we kicked in the last episode.
MATT: Kind of like Clone Wars... except a Million Times worse!
R.D: That has to be the Alpha Zoid!
ENERGY LIGER: Yup. And like all good Zoids, I'm a liger.
R.D: Wow, but whose piloting it? Where did you come from? Why must the writers always pull the "Mysterious Zoid comes out of nowhere" trick whenever they can't see a way for me to win but I have to win?
ENERGY LIGER: Dont' know, but we're ending the new run of episodes here.
R.D: You can't do that! What will the fans say! It will be like Big O all over again!
ENERGY LIGER: You actually think people care that much about the show?
R.D: Oh yeah, forgot that.
THE END!!!!!!
Well that's it for Episode 13. However, there are still the first 5 episodes to do. So expect that. Anyway, love you lots!
DianaGohan!
Warning: This is a work of fiction based on a work of fiction. It contains material that is not for anyone under 16, whether that is bad language, sexual innunendo, violence or refrences to drinking and drugs. Remember: You have been warned.
Warning 2: Please do not read this parody if you have something off topic or just plain rude to say about it. I can take criticsms, but I don't want this to be locked up like the last parody. Please, be more careful with that okay?
And now the Parody.
LAST TIME ON ZOIDS FUZORS!
SWEET: Matt, tell R.D not to start the Liger Zero!
R.D: (Starts the Liger Zero) Oh man, who forgot to fix the air conditioner again?
DEET: You want my badge number fool? Here's my freakin badge number
(Throws badge at Gummy. Gummy ducks and it hits Hop).
HOP: Why must I always be the victim.
AMY: I will not loose this case!
SIGMA: Face it Amy... this case is already lost... we gave it to R.D.
AMY: Why must you keep giving beer to R.D?
SIGMA: I.... don't know.
MATT: (Looking at Helmut's dead body). Oh no, who could have done this?
HELMUT: Oh, don't worry about that. I just spilled some ketchup on the floor, no big deal.
MATT: Then what's that other red stuff?
HELMUT: Blood. I'm dying, duh.
TRACEY: In all my years of medical science I have never seen someone have sex so quickly.
SWEET: Hey, get your scientific ass over here! I needs me some more loving. (Sigma and Helmut are driving a boat. The boat explodes and they go flying off it onto an island).
SIGMA: Well, at least we're alive.
GILLIGAN: Hey there little buddies!
HELMUT: (Sarcastic) Oh great, that's something to be happy about.
GUMMY: Everyone I told about the file's dead.
DEET: Who'd you talk to it about anyway?
GUMMY: I told you, dead people! Must I use hand puppets to spell it out for you?
TRACEY: What do you mean cut the blue wire? They're most Blue Wires!
MATT: That one's orange.
TRACEY: I said most Blue Wires!
MATT: Then you use bad english you.....Russian (Sigma and Deet are seen shooting at something. It turns out to be Hop, whose out on his midnight stroll).
AMY: Face it Sweet, R.D's never coming out of that coma! (Sweet slaps her... then jumps on her and they start doing it. Meanwhile, Helmut is shooting at a Helicopter and it blows up. He then ends up falling on George W.).
HELMUT: Sorry Mr. President.
GEORGE W. BUSH: Just remember son. There's a war in Iraq... we have to do what we have to do?
HELMUT: Then what about the tax hike?
GEORGE W. BUSH: Oh, that was just so I could buy a golfing bag. Golf is important in the war in Iraq.
SWEET: Oh no! R.D lost to the Matrix Dragon that was too stupid to finish him off and now we can't contact him. Oh no! (1000 Points to anyone who gets this entire refrence. Yes, I'm doing points again. So sue me).
IT'S A BUNCH OF GUYS FIGHTING IN THEIR ZOIDS AND WE WANT TO CALL IT A FACE OFF BUT OUR FACES WERE RIPPED OFF SO WE'RE SAD NOW
AT THE SAVAGE HAMMER'S 19th REUNION TOUR... I MEAN BASE!!!!
AMY: Hey, you guys stole our team's Zoid!
SANDRA: Who are you anyway?
AMY: I'm an on again off again character thanks to the writer's inablity to use a bunch of characters in one episode.
SANDRA: Well uh.... we didn't steal your Zoid.
AMY: Oh yeah? Then what about that sign that says "Yes we did steal your Zoid."
SANDRA: Oh, well that's uh..... one of Luke's paintings. He's an artist.
LUKE: If you count drawing pictures of Blake smacking down forest animals.
FLASHBACK
BLAKE: Hey, that bear sounds almost like R.D! I HATE YOU ******* **** **** KILL YOU BEAR **** **** ****** R.D'S MOM!!!!!!!
SANDRA: You see?
AMY: Well then what about that other sign that says "That other sign wasn't made by Luke for an Arts class. We really did steal your Zoid." (900 points for the refrence)
SANDRA: Well look at this paperwork. This proves it's ours.
AMY: Yeah, but it also says you forced these guys to legally sign it... in they're blood!
SANDRA: Well yeah, I was feeling pretty vicious that day.
SPIKE: Vicious? You don't even know what Vicious is! (700 points for the refrence).
VULCAN: Wrong show buddy.
SPIKE: Oh yeah, sorry.
SANDRA: Well look, we took your Zoid. We all know that. But thanks to my evil bastardlyness, we have it legally. And we'll give it back to you for 1 Million Dollars! (Finger on cheek).
AMY: That seems fair.
SANDRA: I meant 1000 billion...zillion...quintillion...zeppi zeppi zooney zooga zoo... YEN! (1200 points for the refrence).
AMY: How much is that in dollars?
SANDRA: 3 Dollars.... but you have to pay it in yen!
AMY: That's cheap girl! No one has that much yen!
VULCAN: Hey, don't make us throw you out of here.
AMY: Fine then, I'm leaving. Screw you guys!
SANDRA: Wait, hold on a second. (Takes sunglasses out of her breasts and put's it in Amy's breast). There you go.
AMY: Why the hell did you do that?
SANDRA: Listen, there are some things that I'll explain to you and -
AMY: Yeah yeah. Wait a minute, are you even wearing a bra?
SANDRA: No, I forgot to.
AMY: You should have it show on the outside, like mine! That way you'll never forget you're wearing it, and neither will the fans.
BACK AT THE BASE OF MACHINNA DE STORMO!!!!!
AMY: Well I tried reasoning with them, but they just wouldn't give in.
R.D: Hey, it's that girl! Mary Kate Olsen!
AMY: Still as stupid as ever, hey R.D?
R.D: That depends. Is you're twin sister around?
AMY: Here, take these and shut up (Takes sunglasses out of clevage).
R.D: Hey I know what to do with these! (Throws them).
HOP: And you're failure reminds me of a story that's boring and pointless and (the Sunglasses get thrown at him and fracture his skull). Ow! Why must the good be hit on the head? (2200 points for the refrence).
AMY: Look how angry I am! I am really overreacting and you can tell it! My voice actor needs to learn how to express anger.
SIGMA: Oh well. We can always get a replacement Zoid. The Rock And Playset Zoid's pretty cheap. I saw one on sale for like 20 bucks.
R.D: No, we cannot replace the Zoid. That would just confuse people. Remember when they had Tracey on Pokemon
THE ORANGE ISLANDS!
TRACEY: You know Ash, you are really quite sexy. Anyone ever tell you that?
ASH: Well I have been working out. I stretch the Pokeball back once and then pose and I do that 10 times a day.
MISTY: Hey, he's my boyfriend! And aren't you 6 years older then him at least?
TRACEY: Yeah well... (pushes her off the Lapras).
ASH: Hey, what happen.
TRACEY: Uh.... Titanic.
ASH: Well that explains nothing about everything!
SIGMA: Wasn't there suppose a kid who traces and watches Pokemon that replaced Brock?
R.D: Not in me, (And Corrado's) mind. Besides, no need to pay for another Zoid. I'll get it back.
AMY: Didn't you just hear me say that I couldn't get it back?
R.D: Yeah, well you suck Melissa Joan Heart!
AMY: Will you ever remember my name?
R.D: Probably not. And I happen to be more then just a professional Zoids pilot main character.
MATT: Really?
R.D: Oh sure, I've had lots of jobs. Negotiator-
NEGIOTAOR JOB
GUY: I can't believe we had to give up all our gold!
R.D: Hey it was worth it to get this piece of paper. It's good for 20% off at your next Pizza Hut purchase.
GUY: That expired 2 months ago.
R.D: Well, it's still a nice peice of paper.
GUY: You are the worst negoitator ever.
R.D: I'll give you that... for 3 staples (900 points for the refrence).
GUY: Why you! (Starts to choke R.D)
R.D: Detective-
R.D DETECTIVE'S JOB!
GUY 2: You got to help me. My wife died!
R.D: Hold on a second. I'm a detective. Hmmmmm.... Meteors did it!
GUY 2: What?
R.D: That will be 20$ dollars. (1100 points for the refrence).
GUY 2: But you didn't even do anything.
R.D: You mean "Here's your 20$ dollars".
GUY 2: Why you! (Starts to choke R.D)
R.D: Or even a Pimp-
R.D PIMPING IT!
R.D: You for shizzle my hizzles connizzles! I got your back.
GUY 3: But we're surrounded by angry prostitutes who want more money! What are we going to do?
R.D: For Chizzle pizzle, I gots me the Magic Stick!
GANDALF: Hey, that's my magic stick!
R.D: Well all I saw you do with it was glow that light for a second. Some wizard.
GANDALF: Why you! (Starts to choke R.D).
R.D: Well, I admitt there were some problems, but that last time I got to see Return Of The King for free and it KICKED... ASS.
SWEET: Duh.
SIGMA: R.D we're not letting you go Negoiate. We don't want to end up up on the streets again.
R.D: How was I suppose to know that you have to pay back credit card debt?
EVERYONE: You're not doing it R.D!
R.D: Yes I am!
EVERYONE: No you're not!
R.D: Uh... no I'm not.
EVERYONE: Yes you... D'oh!
R.D: Hey, I outsmarted someone! This is the greatest day in my life!
BACK AT SAVAGE BOYS AND THE HAMMER BROTHERS BASE!
SANDRA: You guys sure did good.
Mr. MAN: I'll say. We did so good, I actually get to use my real name this time. Or at least a lot better one then before.
VULCAN: I must say, our Matrix Dragon Rulioed Like Coolio.
WATT: But Coolio aint even popular no more.
VULCAN: Just like Blake and Gilbert. Boy they suck.
GILBERT: (Thinking) I'll come over there and slit you.
WATT: Yeah, we're so cool we can read other people's mind.
GILBERT: Eeep!
SECURITY GUY: Sandra help, our security force was penetrated by one small child!
MATT: Hey, I've played a lot of Metal Gear Solid 2. And Prince Of Persia. Why must there be mindtrips in that game? They suck so much.
VULCAN: What do you want?
MATT: Well, even though it's 3 days past Christmas-
SANDRA: Hey, you can't say that! It may not be 3 days past Christmas when someone is reading this.
MATT: Can you just give me back my Zoid?
MR. MAN: Of course we can't. We're evil. We're those guys that come in your house and wreck it just for fun.
MATT: So that's why you wrecked R.D's room.
BLAKE: No, that was me! I HATE HIM SO MUCH!!!!!!
R.D: Hey, look I'm here!
BLAKE: Time to die! (Charges at R.D with a knife and ends up falling down the stairs). DAMN YOU STAIRSSSSSSS! I HATE YOU LIKE I HATE R.D!!!!!
VULCAN: Why does he hate you so much.
R.D: Oh yeah, like I know. Anyway, we warned you before. Now time for action! Double guns of justice attack!!!!
SANDRA: Those are water guns.
R.D: Yeah, well, I sure am soaking you quite good aren't I?
SANDRA: It's more annoying then persuasive.
R.D: I got it! How about we play Bingo to see who gets the Zoid!
MATT: No R.D, you suck at Bingo!
BINGO
ANNOUNCER: O 71!
R.D: Bingo Bingo!
ANNOUNCER: Sir, you don't have any of the numbers we called. That's not even a Bingo mat your playing on. It's a bowl of Enchiladilos.
R.D: Enchiladitos, they make you wanna eat them! (1200 points for the refrence). I think yuo're just discriminating against me because I'm black!
ANNOUNCER: You're not even black.
R.D: I am on the inside.
R.D: Okay then, how about we play a round of topless hoops? Guys vrs girls. Blake, you don't mind playing on the girls team, do you?
BLAKE: R.D I'M GONNA DO STUFF TO YOU! (Lunges at him and falls out window). Damn you again R.D!!! I HATE YOU 6 TIMES MORE!
R.D: Well there goes the center. How about just a Zoids battle.
SANDRA: I don't know. It seems that all of these kid animes involving merchandsie like toys and cards always revolve solving they're problems around them. Like in Yu-Gi-Oh!
YU-GI-OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
YUGI: I challenge you to a duel!
CLERK: That's nice sir, but you still have to pay 750 for your meal.
YUGI: Not if I duel you!
CLERK: Why should I duel you when you should pay for it?
YUGI: Because.... my hair is very spikey!
CLERK: That sure convinced me.
SANDRA: But very well then. We'll battle... in a week.
R.D: Okay then.
3 DAYS LATER!
SANDRA: (On the street) Hey R.D, see you in 4 days! (1500 Points for the refrence)
3 DAYS BEFORE!
SIGMA: You challenged Savage Hammer to a Zoid battle? What are you stupid?
R.D: I think we all know that answer is.... no.
SIGMA: I don't think we do.
R.D: Don't worry. I brought back this guy (Last seen in the Invisible Zoid and Pilot mini arc) to help out.
DAN: It was either do that or don't show up for another 5 episodes, and I need me some money.
R.D: And all you have to do is fix my Zoid in less then 7 days.
DAN: Okay, but I don't want you "helping" again.
FLASHBACK
R.D: Hey, connect that wire to that wire.
DAN: No don't do (Does so. The Leg of the Zoid explodes).
R.D: .... That's covered in our insuarance right?
DAN: It was, until the retalier stopped giving us R.D insurance!
R.D: Hey you know what I noticed? R.D backwards is D.R, and that's like a doctor. That means I'm part doctor! Time to operate!
HOP: I remember that! You took out both of my kidneys and inserted rabid weasels.
R.D: And you've been okay, right?
HOP: I've never been okay, ever!
SIGMA: R.D you idiot! It's not just the Matrix Dragon, the Beserk Fury will also be there.
R.D: Meh. He's a weakling compared to the Zero version of him.
SIGMA: Maybe, but Blake will be all over you're ass with that. Like the time at the picnic
PICNIC
R.D: Oh boy, the Teddy's Bear Picnic!
BLAKE: I'M GONNA KILL YOU ROTTEN AND GROTTEN!
R.D: There is not such word as Grotten.
BLAKE: I'M STILL (Falls down hill and gets mauled by bears).
BEARS: And that's for old Petey you beat up on!
BLAKE: If I didn't hate R.D so much you would be on my enemies list! Along with little mimes and Polkadotted pants!
R.D: I'm sure everything will be fine. In fact, I feel a plot turn coming on. Oh wait, that's just Sweet's dinner. Excuse me (goes to the bathroom).
SWEET: Hey, so what my cooking's done down because I need to hore out so much? Why don't you just order out?
SIGMA: That's why I got this Pizza.
SWEET: But that's not ordered out.
SIGMA: It's not delivery, but Djourno's!
MATT: (To Auidence) Oh come on. Like you're surprised we sold out.
AT THE SAVAGE HAMMERSON AND SOMETHING OR OTHER BASIE!!!!
MR. MAN: And here's a few other reasons Blake sucks!
BLAKE: Hey, I'm right here you idiot!
VULCAN: Duh, we know. We want you to hear how much you suck.
BLAKE: Oh yeah? Well watch my badassness as I throw to the ground.
LUKE: All in well done close ups.
VULCAN: Samurai Jack did one better in the episode that aired after this! (50 points for the episode name)
WATT: How about we make this a deal of men? We make this a three way and whoever loses is kicked out of Savage Hammer and has to become the next Brittney Spears?
BLAKE: My ego makes me take your bet, and I know I'LL WIN BECAUSE R.D IS THE WORST AND I'M THE BEST AND I WILL KILL HIM SO MUCH!!!!!
VULCAN: What is it with you and R.D?
BLAKE: That's a good question.....................
MR. MAN: And?
BLAKE: They never told me yet. They just said "act angry at R.D" We'll explain later... maybe.... we hope.
COMMERICAL
R.D: Hey, I like those Toaster Strudels! Why are they never in our grocerey?
SWEET: Because when I have sex... uh, play with... they don't give them out. Just oranges.
R.D: These oranges are like memories
SWEET: That's tomatoes stupid.
R.D: Well I'm like RD.
SWEET: No you're not.
R.D: Well this one time.... I saw this girl having sex with a bunch of robots, and said to myself "Hey, where's woody?" and then he popped up and said "Here I am!"
SWEET: That wasn't me having sex with those robots you know... okay it was, but there's nothing wrong with that....... at least in my mind.
AT THE BASE OF THOSE GUYS WHO ARE THE MAIN CHARACTERS AGAIN!!!!
SANDRA: This will be a 3 on 3 duel.
SWEET: Okay, but I prefer 67 on 1.
SANDRA: Whose the one?
SWEET: Let me just say it aint Neo.
SANDRA: I am disgusted beyond belief. Just check these guys you're fighting the Matrix "Not a ripoff of the Power Rangers Or Voltron or that show where 4 Kids battled this guy in Cybperspace (1300 points for the show name)" Dragon, Beserk "Vega's a far better pilot then Blake and can actually make it look good" Fury, and Lord "He's the 3rd Guy who really dosne't do anything and his name is a ripoff of Gundam" Gale.
R.D: That dosen't sound so bad. We can use Liger Zero Phoenix, Command Striker, and this rock!
AMY: Hey, what about me?
R.D: I don't know Courtney Cox Arquitte, you didn't win any battles so far, and the rock is shiny!
AMY: Yeah, well that means I'm overdue! Me and Koning Wolf will take those guys down.
R.D: Well (looks between her and the rock) Sorry rock, but she was hear first! (Tosses rock away. 1800 points for the refrence).
HELMUT: No here's the stragey that looks good on paper and computer but we
end up not using at all and let R.D do his thing.
R.D: Why bother making up stragies then?
HELMUT: I saw them do it on Zero, and said hey what the hell? Speaking of
just for the hell, let's have some training scenes of you in the Liger Zero Phoenix training to be the distraction and me and Sigma in the Command Striker praticing firing so it sounds like we'll actually follow the strategy.
R.D: How about shots of "Sweet Goes Wild with Tracey and Amy?"
AMY: How about not?!!!!
R.D: Okay, but someone out there's not gonna be happy.
CORRADO: I am unhappy.
SHOUJAFAN: Hey, look I'm in this. Pan Smash! Oh wait, wrong story.
IN THE TRAINING GROUND!
MATT: Here's some water for you R.D.
R.D: This is poisoned right?
MATT: No... they ran out of poison.
R.D: Oh, and blah blah you can't help because you suck and don't have a license.
MATT: Fine, I'll just read to you my 360 reasons why Evangelion will never be on Cartoon Network.
R.D: But what about Giant Robot Week?
MATT: Reason 281-
THE DAY OF THE BATTLE!
R.D: That was sure a rough transition!
MATT: R.D! I believe in you!
R.D: Really?
MATT: No, but Sweet made me bet that you would win so I have to pretend you actually will win.
R.D: Don't worry. We'll win, just like the Russians in the Cold War.
MATT: They didn't win!
R.D: Well.... oh no, communicator's breaking off! (Smashes communcator button with a hammer).
VULCAN: We all know how much you suck it R.D? What with your lowbrow phrases and stupidity.
R.D: Oh yeah? Well come here a minute!
VULCAN: You come here a minute.
R.D: Oh yeah? (1700 points for the refrence). Time for me to be a distraction, just in One Peice.
ONE PEICE: You don't even know who we are, do you?
R.D: Okay, well uh... fast flying time! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
SIGMA: My anger is obviously blinding my judgement on when to fire!
HELMUT: Like the world dosen't have enough angry little white boys.
SIGMA: Boy don't make me go ver there.... wherever you are in that Zoid.
GILBERT: Ha ha! You're just a girl!
AMY: And you're a nobody.
GILBERT: So? Don't you notice how unequal women are treated in Zoids Fuzors? I mean, just what is Sweet's point anyway?
SWEET: Hey, not just anyone can hore and file papers you know! It takes skill... and a really great ass and breasts.
SIGMA: Well, looks like the plan isn't working because of my inablitiy to fire.
HELMUT: It's times like this I had joined that other show
THAT OTHER SHOW!
OPTIMUS PRIME: Time to Transform!
HELMUT: (Singing... badly) Transformers... there robots in disguise... or uh, they do something.... there robots and more then meets the eyes with them, and uh.... that word's smuged so I can't read it.
DIRECTOR: You said you knew the words!
HELMUT: Yeah, to the Mary Tyler Moore Them Song.
DIRECTOR: Well looks like you'll make it after all... NOT!!!!
HELMUT: And that's how you do it.
SIGMA: Do what?
HELMUT: Go off tangent. You taking notes Shoujafan?
SHOUJAFAN: I'm taking them, I'm taking them!
SIGMA: And this is how I fire! Oh wait, where'd he go!
WATT: Smackdown!
SIGMA: Ow, we're WW Out!
GILBERT: Yeah, and I knocked the girl out to! Female Zoid pilots suck in Fuzors!
AMY: Where's the equal rights amendment when you need it?
BLAKE: DIE R.D DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
R.D: Oh no, I'm shot down!
BLAKE: I WILLLLL KILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL YOU KNOW AND FINALLY GET BACK AT YOU FOR A REASON THAT NOBODY EVEN KNOWS ABOUT!!!!!
MR. MAN: Hell no sucker! He's our b****.
BLAKE: Oh no he's not! He's mine.
R.D: Hey guys, there's plenty of me to go around... when I blast your asses of anyway!
VULCAN: Oh no you don't! Super air combat!
R.D: More Air Combat!
HOP: I can't believe it! An actual good battle.
MATT: That sure is a 3 way.
SWEET: Oh please. I've had far better 3 ways, and they were just yesterday.
HOP: Want to have one right now?
SWEET: Let me respond in typical anime girl fashion (Knocks him senslesless and then kicks him into the background).
MATT: What about just a two-way?
SWEET: Sure, let's go. (They go into the bedroom).
SIGMA: And once again, we lost easily so R.D can look good.
HELMUT: Yeah well, at least we beat Gilbert.
AMY: Hey, how did we beat him anyway?
SIGMA: Thorugh the magic of learning... and plotholes. Big ones that can swallow whole planets.
GILBERT: Curse the writers wanting a 3-way battle.
WATT: Well, we're obviously much better then you. Look at how we shoot both of you down!
BLAKE: R.D THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT AND I HATE YOU TO THE EXTREME!!!!!
R.D: God damn you! Let me be the hero and somehow pull a victory out of my ass like I did 2 episodes ago.
WATT: Nuh uh! We're gonna beat both of you so bad.
R.D: Look, it's the Plot Device!
PLOT DEVICE: Hello! (1100 points for the refrence).
VULCAN: So what?
R.D: And the huge ass plot device over there.
ENERGY LIGER: Hello! With Blasters!
BLAKE: I'm down! R.D I HATE YOU LIKE MY MOTHER SPLATE YOU!
MR. MAN: We were taken out easily by that one Zoid! And after how much ass we kicked in the last episode.
MATT: Kind of like Clone Wars... except a Million Times worse!
R.D: That has to be the Alpha Zoid!
ENERGY LIGER: Yup. And like all good Zoids, I'm a liger.
R.D: Wow, but whose piloting it? Where did you come from? Why must the writers always pull the "Mysterious Zoid comes out of nowhere" trick whenever they can't see a way for me to win but I have to win?
ENERGY LIGER: Dont' know, but we're ending the new run of episodes here.
R.D: You can't do that! What will the fans say! It will be like Big O all over again!
ENERGY LIGER: You actually think people care that much about the show?
R.D: Oh yeah, forgot that.
THE END!!!!!!
Well that's it for Episode 13. However, there are still the first 5 episodes to do. So expect that. Anyway, love you lots!
DianaGohan!