DianaGohan
12-21-2003, 12:47 PM
The Event That Corrado Has Been Waiting For
Corrado: Hey, I got a mention! Hooray!
It's The Offical Zoids Parody Of The Newest Episode Of The Show As Of The Time I'm Writing This. So Enough With The Introudction, Let's Get To The Warning!
Warning: This Zoids Parody Is Not For Anyone Under The Age Of 16!
MATT: Wait, I'm under 16.
Uh, anyone whose not in the show that's under 16. Because Of The Violence, Swearing, Innuendo, and all that Adult Goodness. So Let's Begin shall we.
____________________________________________________________________
(SCENE: A Crowded Arena with a Boxing ring in the middle. There are plenty of people around in the crowd all cheering. In an announcer's booth at the top of the room, we see 3 hosts: Diana, Samanatha, and Susan, with microphones in their hands and sitting on a table).
DIANA: Welcome folks to the Main Event!
SAMANATHA: This isn't the main event. This is some lame ass idea you came up with that you wanted to use.
DIANA: Shut up. This will be good. You see, despite this episode being called "Matt Battled R.D" Matt really dosen't battle R.D. However, our Matt in the Ring, the one and only Matt Wilson, will be taking on all comers for your enjoyment.
SUSAN: I don't know if violence is the best way to provide comedic humor in this sort-
DIANA: Here comes the first fighter now. (Zimed walks up to the ring and climbs in).
ZIMED: You're going down Matt! There can be only on #Cartoonnetwork.com Supreme ruler, and that's me!
MATT WILSON: Whatever.
DIANA: And let the fight begin! (The bell rings. Zimed charges in, but Matt just grabs a gun and shoots Zimed in the chest. Zimed falls to the ground, pretty much dead). Well, uh that was short. How much time we got before we cut to the first act?
SUSAN: (Checks Watch) About 2 Minutes, I believe.
DIANA: Well, let's discuss the final match coming after the parody. The intense conflict between Matt Wilson and R.D, if Matt survives that long anyway.
SAMANATHA: What intense conflict? R.D's gonna get shot at immeditaley and lose even faster then Zimed. That's not intense at all.
DIANA: Don't worry. We'll find a way to make it intense. Now let's go down to the ring where our correspondents are talking to our fighters. (You see Corrado with a microphone talking to Matt Wilson).
CORRADO: Thank you Diana. Oh, and hello Susan.
SUSAN: (Waves at him) Greetings Anthony. You're looking great down there. So what's the story anyway?
CORRADO: Well my love, I'm just about to interview Matt Wilson for his comments on the fights. (Brings microphone to Matt). So any comments Matt?
MATT WILSON: Yeah, why do you buy into that unfunny shtick?
CORRADO: Any comments that won't make me angry?
MATT WILSON: Yeah, but they would make someone else angry. I'll say them anyway. I will take on each person who tries to fight me and easily beat them. That's all I got to say. (Walks off).
CORRADO: Well that's the scoop down here. Back to you ladies in the booth! (Waves goodbye).
DIANA: Thanks Corrado.
SUSAN: *Sigh* Anthony looked so cute down there didn't he?
SAMANATHA: I really can't say. Oh and by the way people watching this, remember, if you just want the parody, ignore everything inbetween these lines. Repeat: Ignore everything between these lines.
DIANA: Well we're out of time for now. See you at the act break!
___________________________________________________________________
AT THE DR.'S OFFICE WHERE I DIDN'T GET A LOLLYPOP FROM!
Dr. PIERS: Let's talk about some fusing stuff! You see, when a man zoid meets a female zoid, and the zoids start to get hot.... wait, that's not fusion.
VULCAN: Duh, it's not fusion, it's Bingo!
DR. PIERS: Now that was just stupid. Well, look at this supposedley highly sophisticated 3-D map I have and check out this! You can have more then 2 Zoids Fuse!
WATTS: Can you have 16 Zoids fuse?
DR. PIERS: I doubt it.
VULCAN: If my Zoids fused with my mom, would that make my mom my weapon.
DR. PIERS: I suppose so.
VULCAN: Cool! I can use my mom as a threat to people!
DR. PIERS: So why did you want this information.
LEADER GUY: Let's just say that I have my reasons.
DR. PIERS: Secret reasons?
LEADER GUY: Well I am a shady badguy in the first scene. And I too... am someone who the parodess forgot to give a name to!
DR. PIERS: We can just call you Jeff Jeff.
JEFF JEFF: I aint being called... DAMN IT!!!!!!!
"MATT DIDN'T REALLY BATTTLE R.D, BUT LET'S JUST SAY THAT SO THE FANS WILL SPECULATE THAT THAT HAPPENS IN THE COURSE OF THE EPISODE."
IN THE MOUNTAIN QUARRY TRAINING GROUND!
R.D: Due to actually winning something for once last week, my ego has rised higher then Madonna on LSD.
MATT: Speaking of what happen before, Remember when I said I would kick your ass last week R.D? Well, that's gonna happen now.
R.D: Sorry, but look at how much better I am then you. Why don't you write to Santa and ask him for some skills?
MATT: Hey! Writing for Santa is for baby's who think that he exists!
R.D: Santa is real! And he's so gonna get me that My Little Pony Super Anti-Racist Action Figure I've been asking for!
MATT: The only thing I want for Christmas are my two front teeth that you took!
R.D: Hey, I had a reason!
FLASHBACK IN VEGAS
R.D: What do you mean I'm short? I'm at least 5 feet 10 inches tall.
MANAGER: No, I mean that you don't have enough money.
R.D: Oh come on! Hmmm... Oh, I know! (Rips off Matt's two front teeth).
MATT: How, now how am I suppose to eat foods that require full use of the mouth.
R.D: Don't worry I can't Lose! Hit me!
MATT: R.D-
R.D: Hit Me!
MATT: R.D-
R.D: Hit Me! Hit Me! Hit Me! Hit Me! Hit Me!
MANAGER: You do realize that you've already gone past 21 sir?
R.D; Hit Me! OWWWW! Why did you hit me?
MATT: Damn it R.D!
R.D: I think I learned a valubale lesson that day. How to play Blackjack.
MATT: You still don't know how to play Blackjack you idiot!
R.D: Well uh... how about I take you out to get some Ice Cream?
MATT: How about my Zoids Piloting License!
R.D: You're Zoid Polluters License! Matt, don't you know that looting and polluting is not the way. Here's what Captain Planet has to say!
CAPTAIN PLANET: I don't have anything to say ****er. Don't make me fire your ass off.
MATT: I said piloting, not polluting!
R.D: Sure, why not? And with me as your coach, you can't fail.
FLASHBACK
R.D: Don't worry kid! With me as your coach, you can't fail!
ANAKIN: That's nice to hear, but then why did you replace my engines with metal poles?
R.D: Duh! So you'll win the Planetary Rod Race.
ANAKIN: That's pod race!
R.D: You can't race with pods!
YODA: Stupidity in this one, great it is.
MATT: That dosen't exactly inspire confidence.
R.D: Does my worried look and anime inspired sweatdrop inspire confidence?
MATT: No, but I'm just going to ignore you and go into my own Daydreams. When I become a famous Zoid pilot, I'm going to become famous and rich and loved by everyone, just like my Dad, except for the rich and loved by everyone part.
R.D: The Ultimate Zing!
MATT: No, here's The Ultimate Zing! (Grabs a taser and shocks R.D).
R.D: Ow, my Zingness!
AT THE EVIL GUY'S BASE!!!
LUKE: Hey Blake, Finally back from the bathroom?
BLAKE: Yeah, I was in there for 7 weeks, which would explain why haven't been around for that long a time.
LUKE: 7 Weeks? Now that's just plain retarded.
BLAKE: No it's not! It's true!
LUKE: What, you fall in?
BLAKE: Actually, Yes I did.
IN BATHROOM WORLD!
BLAKE: I can't believe I fell down the stupid bathroom? Where the crap am I? Oh that's right, in crap, that's just great.
MR. HANKEY: Howdeooooooooooo There Blake! Want to help me save Christmas?
BLAKE: Let me think about that? (Shoots Mr. Hankey with a gun). I don't work for s***.... uh ****!
LUKE: You killed Christmas!
BLAKE: And I'll kill you if you don't hurry up with our unspecified project thing.
LUKE: Well here come the guys. The Leader Watt-
BLAKE: There is someone here named Watt? What the **** were his parents smoking?
WATT: My parents don't smoke, but they do love Electricity. Just ask my sister Bulb!
BLAKE: Okay, now that's just plain wrong.
LUKE: Then there Vulcan and Jeff Jeff.
BLAKE: Vulcan.... eh, but Jeff Jeff?
JEFF JEFF: The parodess forgot my real name. So screw you!
LUKE: Yeah, so uh good you got the Zoids, but what about-
BLAKE: Screw you ****es all! I'm ****ing pouring gravy on the lot of you!
VULCAN: What's with him?
LUKE: He needs to get back into his Bad ass character after spending so much time in the bathroom.
WATT: What, he fall in?
BLAKE: I got a joke for you. Knock Knock.
WATT: Whose there?
BLAKE: ...... **** YOU! (Punches him in the face).
VULCAN: Well we know who Santa put on his naughty list.
BLAKE: Ah, I already stole.... bought..... stole the train I wanted anyway.
AT STOP AND SHOP!!!!
GROCERY LADY: Well here's your bag of oranges!
SWEET: Oranges? But none of us even like oranges.
GROCERY LADY: That's what you get for not paying.
SWEET: But I sexed you up, twice in fact, remember?
GROCERY LADY: Well you can use the Oranges to throw at people.
SWEET: That sounds cool.
GROCERY LADY: Oh, did you hear about Matt trying to get his Zoids Pilot License!
SWEET: What? He's trying to get his Zoid Pilot License?!!!
WORKSHOP: Uh Oh!
MECHANIC: Uh Oh!
SIGMA: Uh Oh!
REGISTRY: Uh Oh!
REGISTER: Uh Oh!
HOP: Uh Oh! (Stack Of Magazines Fall On Him) Uh Oh!
DINER: Uh Oh!
KID: Uh Oh!
KID 2: Uh Oh!
HELMUT: Uh Oh!
GUY: Uh Oh!
BRAK: Uh Oh!
ZORAK: Uh Oh!
DIANA: Uh Oh!
SAMANATHA: Uh Oh!
SUSAN: Uh Oh!
MATT WILSON: Uh Oh!
CORRADO: Uh Oh!
ZOOKEEPER: Uh Oh!
MAILMAN: Uh Oh!
BILL CLINTON: Uh Oh!... And I Did Not Have Any Relations With That Woman.
MACH STORM: Uh Oh!
R.D: Uh Oh! Uh Oh! Uh Oh! Uh Oh! Uh Oh! Uh Oh! Uh-
EVERYONE: Shut up!
R.D: But guys, we're out of spaghetti and Meatballs, and Football's on in an hour (An orange is thrown at him). Ow!
SIGMA: What do you know? They are effective.
HOP: R.D, you know that Matt isn't old enough to get his Zoids Pilot License!
R.D: Sure he is! When every kid is 10 years old, they can go and register and get they're beginning Zoid...omon from Professor....Pier..oak.
SWEET: That's Pokemon you idiot!
R.D: Bah. I got my Zoids License when I was 8, remember?
WHEN R.D WAS 8!
LICENSER: Hey Kid, you're not old enough to get get your Zoid License!
8 YEAR OLD R.D: Oooooh, what does this Button Do?
LICENSER: That's the base self destruction button! Don't touch it!
8 YEAR OLD R.D: What does "self" mean? Ooooooh, shiny button!
LICENSER: No Don't-
KABOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
8 YEAR OLD R.D: Hey, what does this button-
LICENSER: Here! Take your Zoid Pilot License! Just leave!
8 YEAR OLD R.D: Okay lady, I love you bye bye!
LICENSER: This is the worst Hannakuh ever!
R.D: And remember the Time I got My Driver's License?
WHEN R.D WAS 12
DRIVING INSTRUCTOR: Okay, normally I don't let 12 year old drive, but you seem smart enough to-
12 YEAR OLD R.D: I can make it go zooomy! (Presses Button. The car starts and crashes into a passing by car). I can make it go zoomy again!
DRIVING INSTRUCTOR: Nooooo! Just take the license and never bother me again!
12 YEAR OLD R.D: Thanks Professor Plum!
DRIVING INSTRUCTOR: This is the worst Tet ever.
R.D: See? Matt will handle himself just fine.
SWEET: You idiot! We're not gonna pay off the state because you told Matt to do that.
HOP: Yeah, and this reminds me of a long story when I got my Driver's License. It was a long time ago and the west was still young-
R.D: Hey, these oranges are effecitve! (Throws one At Hop and knocks him out). Hmmm, I wonder if this Orange will knock Hop out?
SIGMA: You got that in reverse.
R.D: I got who in the what know?
SIGMA: *Sigh* Don't you know that to pass the test you have to fight in a real Zoid battle.
R.D: I'm sure Matt can do that? I mean, I grew up on the streets and had to do plenty of harder things.
ON THE STREETS
GANG MEMBER: Okay R.D, to get into The Diablos, you have to leave a mark on someone, with this knife!
R.D: Sure! I'm a knife, a knifing around! A cutcutcutcutcutcutcut- oh look, there's a person! (Throws knife).
HOP: Ah, not again! And that's my good eye too!
HELMUT: That was 3 days ago.
R.D: Hey, my street expeirence shall not be ruined by you bringing up dates and realistic facts!
HELMUT: Face those facts R.D. Besides, even if that was true, Matt has no battle expierence. Like his dad, he may sound tough on the internet, but he dosen't have the backbone to fight like a man.
R.D: Yeah, remember that time he fought that rock?
FLASHBACK-
MATT: Okay Rock You're Going Down! (Trips over Rock). Ah! I give, I give!
R.D: How stupid are you R.D?
SWEET: That was my line R.D!
R.D: I was wondering why the cue card said "Paul" on it.
SWEET: There was no cue card, and my name's not Paul.
R.D: Don't you mean "My name's not Paul yet?"
HELMUT: R.D, stop acting stupid for a second. You're gonna have to tell Matt he can't go for his license.
R.D: What? Why can't you guys tell him.
SWEET: Because we had to tell him everything else. Remember the time I taught Matt about sex?
FLASHBACK!
MATT: Sweet, what is sex?
SWEET: Well, I'll have to show you. Take all of your clothes off and go to your room. Remember to shut off all the lights. I'll be up in a second (starts to take off her top).
SIGMA: And remember the Time I taught Matt how to shoot a gun?
FLASHBACKO!
SIGMA: Okay Matt, now rememeber! Keep your gun level and make sure you don't (Matt fires gun).
OLIVER BEANE: I've been shot! FOX is so sueing you know!
SIGMA: We had to eat beans for a month because of that. On the plus side though, his god awful show was cancelled.
HOP: Remember the time I had to explain the holidays to him?
FLASHBACK AGAIN!
MATT: Hey Helmut, why are there 3 types of Christmases?
HOP: Well I'll tell you. Christmas is for those Christians and Catholics who believe in the birth of a baby who grew up to be a hit on broadway and a zombie preacher while they give each other presents and pretend they like each other. Hankuahh is a made up word for those Jewish guys who like to get drunk and play with Driedel's hand carved from each other's wood and throw gifts at their children for 8 days while lighting a candle for each on their sins. And Kwanzza is the Black version of that made up by some Africian who obviously thought he was Jewish and quite frankly, no one knows what the ****in point of it is. (A Christian, Jew and Black Man come in and beat the crap out of Hop).
HOP: I was in the hospital for days because of that.
R.D: When did you get up?
HOP: Well, thousdands of years ago (R.D pushes him down the stairs). Ow, that's my already broken hip bone!
HELMUT: What about the time I had to explain the birds and bees to Matt?
FLASHBACK FOR THE GOD KNOWS HOW MANY TIME!
MATT: Helmut, what are the birds and the bees?
HELMUT: Those are just animals. Birds can shoot lasers, and bees can't drive cars.
MATT: Well then what's sex?
HELMUT: Ask Sweet.
HELMUT: Actually, that really wasn't so bad.
SWEET: You bastard! Because of that, I had to sleep with all of the kids, and then all of they're dads, and then they're moms, and then they're grandmothers.
SIGMA: You didn't have to sleep with the grandmothers.
SWEET: Uh..... yes I did.
HELMUT: I thought you liked bicurious sex!
SWEET: Oh, so that's all you think I am? Some sort of slut who goes around (Phone rings). Hello? Jimmy, is that you? How was first grade? What, you want me to come over! In that costume? Okay, I'll be right over! (puts down phone). Uh..... gotta go! (runs off).
MATT: Hey, look it's my friends who never talk about me behind my back that I know of.
R.D: Uh Matt, there's something I gotta tell you.
MATT: You actually remembered what day it is?
R.D: It's Tuesday right?
MATT: No.
R.D: Then no I haven't. Actually, what I have to tell you is, that the doctors have found out that you have.... The Corrado disease.
MATT: The what?
R.D: It's an uh.... very deadly disease, that makes you only be able to grade things out of 5 and uh.... makes you like Bookerman, and uh.... watch SNL to only parody it and.... makes you the most dreamly, handomest man in the entire planet! Oh Anthony! I want to be with you right now? But I can't. But I miss you so much!.
EVERYONE: ............................
R.D: What, it's a bad disease!
MATT: I don't have any disease. I just came from my checkup.
R.D: Oh, well about your Zoid License Test. In order to qualify, you have to... uh.... brush your teeth everyday and listen to Whitney Houston's latest album for a week straight!
MATT: But I already did that.
R.D: Oh, well then you have to beat me first at Jepoardy-
SIGMA: (Whipsering) R.D, you suck at Jepoardry, remember?
FLASHBACK
ANNOUNCER: Here's the first question for 100 points, complete the phrase: this is Bender from Futurama's favorite thin to say. Kiss my shiny metal what? R.D?
R.D.: Magic stick?
ANNOUNCER: No, sorry. Wrong answer.
R.D: Yeah, but do you remember what happen next?
FLASHBACK AGAIN TO THE SAME PLACE
ANNOUNCER: But wait! We rechecked and discovered that answer was correct to the point of perfection! So R.D wins the game and gets one Zillion dollars and everyone knows he's a genius.
SIGMA: Stop lying R.D.
R.D: Okay. Matt, you have to beat me in a duel.... Zoid Duel, and then I'll let you get your license.... Zoid License.... because I am R.D.... R.D.
MATT: That shouldn't be too hard. Everyone knows that without Fire Phoenix, you suck more then The Vulture.
IN NEW YORK CITY!!!
VULTURE: I got you know Spiderman!
SPIDERMAN: No you don't. You're just some pathetic Old-Man in a bird suit. What are you going to do bore, me to death?
VULTURE: Why back in my day, we use to have a thing called manners, and spoons were made of wood, and-
SPIDERMAN: So bored. Can't focus.
R.D: Oh yeah, well we'll see. And by "we" I mean everyone except Hop! (Rips off his eyes).
HOP: Damn it R.D! Stop doing that!
AT THE BASE OF SANDRA.
WATT: How come every evil weirdo has they're own base of operations?
SANDRA: I'm not a weirdo. I just want That Liger Zero Phoenix.
JEFF JEFF: Why?
SANDRA: Uh..... there are things I need that I will tell you about and things I need that I won't.
JEFF JEFF: Don't you worry. We'll get it to you in Christmas, which is in 4 days.
SANDRA: It is now, but what about when this is read later two days before Christmas, or one, or on Groundhog's day! Will it be 4 days before Christmas then?
VULCAN: I guess it wouldn't.
SANDRA: Good, so get it to me at a date unspecified but we all what it is so this story stays fresh for years and months to come.
WATT: Okay then.
AT THEY'RE BASE!
VULCAN: Hey, Watt, we're home!
WATT: Wait, I thought I left and you stayed.
JEFF JEFF: Didn't we all leave?
VULCAN: Then how come there were two of us at the door and one of us in here.
WATT: We're such minor characters, that we can be interchanged with ease.
WATT: Good advice Vulcan!
JEFF JEFF: No, thank you Jeff Jeff. Anyway (sings)
We three Zoid Pilots Of Evil Are
Making Plans And Stealing Some Cars
Got This Fusion
But In Order To Stop Confusion
We Need To Find The Kid
The Kid Name Matt Fits Into Our Plans
I'd Tell You More But I Can
Not Do That
So Let's End This Act
In the Next Scene.
VULCAN: That was beautiful... whichever one of us sang that.
SCENE: AT THE BAR FROM THAT EPISODE WITH THE BLUE LIGHTENING ARRIVAL
MATT: I need help beating R.D, so I'll just ask random strangers for it. Hey guy, think you can help me beat R.D?
C-P3O: Well I say, R2, this kid wants to go a little fight with you (R2-D2 beeps and knocks him in the shin).
MATT: Ow, I need someone else's help. Hey you, can you help me win a duel.
JOEY WHEELER: Sure kid there! Joey knows all about dueling. First you lay your cards in defense mode there and then you put down some magic cards there.
MATT: Hey, I know you! You're from Magic The Gathering! No, not that, some other show I don't watch.
JOEY WHEELER: Hey someone's watching it.
AT SOMEONE'S TV!
MATT WILSON: I'm not watching it..... what I'm not.
DIANA: I've planted the seed of doubt.
MATT WILSON: I'll plant my boot in your ass!
DIANA: Ah, running!
MATT: Well that didn't help. Hey Mr. Villian Rival man, how do you beat R.D?
BLAKE: You think if I knew how to beat R.D I would be in here drinking and cursing about how much I hate R.D? R.D I HATE YOU SO MUCH AND I'LL F****N KILL YOU *****! F****R DON'T MESS WITH ME THAT FOR SURE!
MATT: What did R.D ever do to you?
BLAKE: Uh.... I can't remember for convienant purposes, but I suspically like you're spunk kid. Because it states in the rival handbook you must be sympathetic to someone, preferably a kid.
MATT: So why are you walking off now?
BLAKE: I'm still a bad ass motha-
LADY: Shut your mouth!
BLAKE: Just talking about me.
LADY: .... You suck.
BLAKE: If I hadn't walked so far away I'd do something about that.
VULCAN: Hey kid, need some help.
MATT: I don't know. My dad dosen't like me talking to strangers.
VULCAN: Well you're dad talks to strangers all the time.
MATT: No he -
VULCAN: DianaGohan.
MATT: Okay, I'm coming with you!
COMMERICAL BREAK
____________________________________________________________________
(Back In The Announcer Booth).
DIANA: Welcome back folks. Well wasn't that a great first part of the parody?
SAMANATHA: Not really no. But I did like that last comment that Vulcan made about you.
DIANA: Yeah, didn't you write that joke?
SAMANATHA: *Smirks* Maybe that's why I like it. But what about insulting Matt and calling him weak? Isn't he beating down all of these people?
DIANA: Okay, that was one of the weaker jokes. What were you're thoughts Susan?
SUSAN: Well, I certainly enjoyed the part where R.D was talking about how great Anthony was-
DIANA: And didn't you write that in.
SUSAN: I believe I did. I'm so sorry if you didn't like it! I just wanted to express my feelings about my sweet Anthony and-
DIANA: I get the point. So let's check in with him at the ring (Corrado is shown by the ring).
CORRADO: Hello again guys. Well, while the parody was going on, the fights continued. Matt took down some Termite Terrace posters who compalined about the new Looney Tunes, and then some Toonami posters who wanted a Second Giant Robot week and kept posting schedules for it, and then some Adult Swim posters who kept wanting to put they're favorite anime in AS. And now he just finished smacking some CN boarders around who keep asking what date Lowbrow will premiere.
MATT WILSON: (Throwing people out of ring) Sometime in Early 2004, and it's not called Lowbrow anymore.
CORRADO: Okay then. Well, it looks like our next challenger will be Brak, from the popular Brak show (Matt picks him up and throws him against the wall and then throws a grenade at Brak).
MATT WILSON: You're show is not really made for adults and shouldn't be on Adult Swim! Like Inuyasha.
INUYASHA: Hey, I heard that.
MATT WILSON: Well, then you would know that you're core demographic is for 15 year old girls and shouldn't be on AS. Technically, it shouldn't be on Toonami either as the entire plotline would have to be rewritten for it to fit there, so you're show really shouldn't be on Cartoon Network at all.
INUYASHA: If you didn't have 3 missle launchers, I would so Tetsusiaga you.
CORRADO: Well I guess it's back to you guys again.
DIANA: Thanks for the report Corrado.
SUSAN: Isn't he just the dreamiest?
SAMANATHA: Can't we just finish the rest of the parody?
DIANA: If you want. And here is part 2!
____________________________________________________________________
END COMMERICAL BREAK!!!
AT THE BASE OF EVIL GUYS AGAIN
MATT: You know, on second thought, maybe it was a better idea to NOT follow the strange man. Espically after that whole Michael Jackson thing.
FLASHBACK
MICHAEL JACKSON: Hey kid, you want some of my candy?
MATT: You're still abusing children?
MICHAEL JACKSON: It's what I do between albums.
MATT: Or that whole Metham High School thing.
FLASHBACK AGAIN
HIGH SCHOOLER: Okay you freshman, you are gonna do what we tell you while we ruin field trips for everybody!
MATT: I'm telling!
HIGH SCHOOLER: Then you're now a freshman!
MATT: Eeeep!
JEFF JEFF: Don't worry kid. We're cool. Check out this Virtual Simulation craft we got.
MATT: Looks like something from Pulp Fiction.
VULCAN: No way! This was so stolen from Babylon Five.
VULCAN: Shut it WATT!
JEFF JEFF: Don't make me get Vulcan and Watt on your ass, Jeff Jeff!
MATT: Uh, I'm out of the loop here.
WATT: We're not important enough for our names to be consistent.
MATT: Oh, so what do I have to do to get this Virtual Reality Simulation!
VULCAN: Start by taking off your shirt.... oh, wrong thing. Just give us all the information on your Zoid in a handy disk.
MATT: Sounds supsicious... but delicious! Although I do have some problems with my Disk.
AT MATT'S COMPUTER!
MATT: Okay, that's 10 Flame Wars Cooled Down. Now to finish my Essay On Why The World Sucks except for me which my dad helped me with.
DISK: Time to crash you're computer! Now we will spread the Y2K
MATT: But it's 2003... Uh, maybe it's 2004.... uh, it's sometime after 2000.
DISK: Well I'm leaving to California to start a rapping career. Maybe I'll call myself, Slim Shortie!
MATT: But it's the Night B4 Christmas!
DISK: No, it's 4 nights before! ha ha!
WATT: Wait, you can't say it's 4 nights before. What if it isn't four nights before?
MATT: Sorry. I guess I wasn't thinking about the fans. Hey, how does this think work anyway?
VULCAN: Uh.... Magic?
WATT: Magic must defeat magic!
WATT: Shut up Jeff Jeff!
JEFF JEFF: One more thing. This joke sucked.
AT THE BASE OF THE STORM THAT HAS A MOCK IN IT!
MATT: Well I got this disk on all info on my Zoid and I'm leaving now.
SWEET: That sounds fairly suspisicous!
R.D: Your mom is fairly suspicious! And so is Jimmy.
SWEET: He is not.
R.D: Then how come you're wearing a stretch thong, a bra that only covers one breast and 7 inch high heel shoes? Not to mention having a sign on your back saying "Me so horny?"
SWEET: Uh.... hey, you can't read R.D!
R.D: I'm reading this book aren't I?
SWEET: Reading is diffrent then licking the pages and then wiping them with your ass!
R.D: That's how the French read Sweet.
HOP: Hey, I'm in this to (The Swamp Monster comes up and starts eating him). My mind!
AT THE EVIL GUY'S BASE FOR THE 3RD OR 4TH TIME!
WATT: Our multicolor Zoid fusion is going to rock!
JEFF JEFF: Yes it is Jeff Jeff. And it is so powerful, I bet we could beat Raven himself!
VULCAN: Azarath Mentrion Zinthos!
VULCAN: The other Raven! The Zoid Pilot one!
DUKE: No way! Raven is a far better pilot. His Genosaur would only need one charged particle cannon to take down your thing.
BLADELIGER: Yeah, Raven is 100,000 times a stronger pilot then R.D! You guys would loose big time against Raven.
WATT: What do you know nerds? Why don't you get out of here?
SHOUJOAIFAN: Hey, while were here, check out a little clip of my parody of DBGT!
PARODY DBGT!
CHI CHI: I Don't believe it! My husband's been transformed into a child!
GOKU: You better watch who you call a child Chi Chi. If I'm a child, you know what that makes you? A pedophile. And I'll be damned if I'm just going to stand here and be insulted by a pervert.
SHOUJOAIFAN: So what do you think?
VULCAN: I think we should go see what Sandra and those guys are doing!
AT SANDRA'S BASE!
SANDRA: I still want the Liger Zero Phoenix for no specific reasons!
BLAKE: I want to be the one to beat R.D! I HATE THAT ****ING ****A SO F****NG MUCH!!!!!
WATT: That was pointless.
DUKE: Most of your villian scenes are. In Chaotic Century, they had real villians and not just pretenders like you who think that they're powerful but are not. And don't get me started on-
JEFF JEFF: Get out of here you ****in nerds!
BLADELIGER: Look who think's there badass. I'd be badass to if I had my badass red jeans... but I lost them in the laundray. Why must the good clothes die young?
FINALLY, IT'S MATT VRS R.D!!!!
MATT: You're going down R.D!
R.D: No Matt, you're going down... then get up... then fire... then back down... then final attack... then knocked to side... then intervined... then hit... then knocked down again. That's how Zoid battles work.
HOP: Look at these great seats! (Falls down) With my last breath I curse Jesus-Zoidberg!
JESUS ZOIDBERG: And I was going to wish him happy holidays and what not! The jerk!
SIGMA: I have to agree with Hop about the seats. They are pretty good.
R.D: If only I had a hotdog!
SIGMA: You're in a Zoid stupid!
HOT DOG VENDOR: Hot dog right here!
R.D: I'll take 10!
SWEET: Can I have some popcorn?
HELMUT: So you feeling lucky Sweet?
SWEET: I'm gonna get lucky... with the girls I invited over to watch the battle.
HELMUT: Damn it! I need a woman.
AT THE BASE
BLAKE: Look at me watch from our base. Hey look it's Matt. And the Cat In The Hat.
CAT IN THE HAT: Fun is fun but you gotta know how!
Zoid Toys and Games Are available now!
BLAKE: If You Rhyme
One More Time
I'll Take Your Ass
And Make It Grass
CAT IN THE HAT: Hey, I got you to rhyme.
BLAKE: No you did- NOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY BAD ASS IMAGE IS RUINED! CURSE YOU R.D! THIS IS YOUR FAULT.... OR AT LEAST I'LL BLAME IT ON YOU!!!!
MATT: Okay, I'm charging at you.
R.D: And here I- oh look, other people. Guess are battles are over.
MATT: I hope the fans aren't going to be P.Oed about this one, like with Kill Bill.
AT THE MOVIE THEATHER!
MOVIE WATCHER: I didn't want to kill bill! That's false advertising! I'm suing!
VULCAN: Yeah, look at us here. It's time to do the fusion!
MATT: What fusion?
VULCAN: Watch this! Form Megazoid
BACKGROUND SINGERS: Go Go Power Rangers!
R.D: Oh no! The singing, the lyrics-
JEFF JEFF: And I'll form the head!
R.D: It can't be!
WATT: It is! It's our Megazoid!
MATT: Wait, so I'm part of some Power Rangerseque Sentai Weapon of marketable items sold to 5-11 year olds who have been Morphed ,Zeoed, Turboed ,In Spaced, Lost Galaxied, Rescue Forced, Time Forced, Wild Beasted, Ninja Stormed And In there was something about aliens?
VULCAN: Yeah, pretty much.
MATT: Ahhhhhh! Eject, eject! Eject!
WATT: Oh well, now we can fight like The VR Troopers.
R.D: The Who?
JEFF JEFF: That's a band, we're talking about the VR Troopers.
WATT: Yeah, but they never had a Matrix Dragon!
WATT: It's Like the Dragonball Z Crossed With The MATRIX!
DRAGONBALL Z: RELOADED!
PICCOLO: You are the one!
GOHAN: The one what?
PICCOLO: Just the one!
GOHAN: Which one!
PICCOLO: The one who will save the future from the machines.
GOHAN: Don't the sayians come first? And aren't those machines androids?
PICCOLO: Hey, I got the red pill! Don't make me use it!
VULCAN: Or was it The Matrix Crossed over with DRAGONBALL Z!
MATRIX BALL Z!
AGENT SMITH: Hello Mr. Anderson! Watch as I wack you with my tail.
NEO: Not if I counter with my Kamehameha or bad acting!
AGENT SMITH: This isn't over Mr. Anderson! We still have 19 episodes left of fighting.
NEO: God damn it!
WATT: Ah forget it! Let's totally kill R.D!
VULCAN: Did you just say Totally Spies, that great new Cartoon Network show about three tenage girls saving the world from evil!
R.D: Ah! You won't use Product Placement on me! Time For Some Fusing!
JEFF JEFF: We all know the drill. But notice that since now we're fairly important we aren't so interchangable.
R.D: Let's see you dodge my Can't I use another attack Laser Claw Strike!
WATT: What do you know, we did? Know time for you to get missled
MISSLED
WATT: And Smacked around!
SMACKIE!
R.D: I can't lose!
VULCAN: Laser thing!
R.D: Well now I probably will. Unless I pull out my NEAR EXACT SAME LASER STRIKE CLAW ATTACK BUT IT'S DIFFRENT CAUSE IT'S BETTER!
JEFF JEFF: And how about we dodge again and fire at you?
R.D: Ow! I lost!
VULCAN: If we were smart villians, we would not gloat about this and just finish him off right here with our bad ass Matrix Dragon, but we're not so we're just going to leave.
WATT: Yeah, we got some hoes to call!
MATT: I can't believe R.D lost!
SWEET: It's okay Matt. I'll comfort you with (Phone rings) Hello. Victory party you say? Sure I'll be over soon. With what on? Okay. See you (Hangs up phone). Uh, that was...... ah screw explanations. (Runs off).
AT SANDRA'S BASE!
SANDRA: Well they won. Pretty good for supposedley minor villians.
BLAKE: But I wanted to beat R.D! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
SANDRA: Stop crying you big baby!
BLAKE: I am not a baby!
SANDRA: Then why did you wet yourself?
BLAKE: Let's just say I don't trust the bathroom much.
SANDRA: Oh yeah.... pussy.
BLAKE: Like yours?
SANDRA: Yes, this cat I'm stroking is quitle lovely.
BLAKE: I meant-
SANDRA: Why don't you go run off and write some more in your diary?
BLAKE: Fine, I think I will (Cries while running off).
BACK AT LOSER R.D!
R.D: Well I may be a loser, but I swear I'll make those guys pay the price. Cause It's Time To Pay The Price!
____________________________________________________________________
(Back at the announcer's booth).
DIANA: And we're back for the final part of Matt vrs Everyone. But first, you guys have any comments on the second part of my parody?
SAMANATHA: You ended it on "It's Time To Pay The Price"? That was lame.
DIANA: Truthfully, that was the only joke I could think of.
SAMANATHA: Will anyone realize that you were refrencing the Home Movies episode "It's Time To Pay The Price" on Adult Swim where all the movies that Brendon, Jason and Melissa made ended with that line?
DIANA: They will now.
SUSAN: I'm a bit confused. I do not understand the joke involving those 3 mean Zoid pilots.
SAMANATHA: It's called "Diana didn't pay close enough attention to they're names and kept forgotting who was who or what one of they guys name was". That's what it was.
DIANA: Well that, and after realizing I didn't know the names, I realized I could make a joke about them.
SAMANATHA: A not very funny joke.
DIANA: It's all a matter of opinon. Anyway, for the final time back to Corrado at the ring. (Cut To Corrado by the ring)
CORRADO: Thanks Diana. Hello again Susan.
SUSAN: Hello again dearie. I hope you are doing well.
CORRADO: I'm just fine. Anyway, another round of fights went on when you were gone. Matt smacked around the people who insulted the message of Veggitales and who just mocked Christian Music in general, kicked some people's ass who thought that Gamecube had a hard collection of Video Game titles, and then banned and beat down on the group who kept saying things like "OMG YOU SUCK YEAH I SIADS IT LOL!!!" And now for the final fight. Matt Wilson vrs R.D.
R.D: Bring it on! I aint losing twice in a row (Matt punches him in the face and R.D falls down unconcious).
MATT WILSON: Was that suppose to be it?
SAMANATHA: That's the same question I'm asking.
DIANA: Well, looks like no one was strong enough to beat Matt. Hmmmm....
SAMANATHA: What is it now?
DIANA: Maybe you should fight him if you want this to have a good fight in it.
SAMANATHA: No, I am not fighting just because you think it will be funny.
DIANA: If you insist, but I think you might have a little crush on Wilson.
SAMANATHA: What? Now that's just absurd? Unlike you or Normalcy, I don't fall prey so easily to love.
SUSAN: Maybe you're just hiding your feelings.
SAMANATHA: No I'm not. And I'm sure Matt isn't either.
DIANA: Oh well, it was just an idea. Anyway, for your viewing pleasure, that was just the parody of "Matt Vrs R.D" plus extras. Good fight, good night.
SAMANATHA: And you know you ripped that line off of Celebrity Deathmatch right?
DIANA: Bite me insanity.
____________________________________________________________________
Well that's it. That was a long one too. But I think it was worth it. Anyway, read and review it here. Please review. And please don't make this thread get closed down.
(EDIT by P*: I had to edit out the profane language)
Corrado: Hey, I got a mention! Hooray!
It's The Offical Zoids Parody Of The Newest Episode Of The Show As Of The Time I'm Writing This. So Enough With The Introudction, Let's Get To The Warning!
Warning: This Zoids Parody Is Not For Anyone Under The Age Of 16!
MATT: Wait, I'm under 16.
Uh, anyone whose not in the show that's under 16. Because Of The Violence, Swearing, Innuendo, and all that Adult Goodness. So Let's Begin shall we.
____________________________________________________________________
(SCENE: A Crowded Arena with a Boxing ring in the middle. There are plenty of people around in the crowd all cheering. In an announcer's booth at the top of the room, we see 3 hosts: Diana, Samanatha, and Susan, with microphones in their hands and sitting on a table).
DIANA: Welcome folks to the Main Event!
SAMANATHA: This isn't the main event. This is some lame ass idea you came up with that you wanted to use.
DIANA: Shut up. This will be good. You see, despite this episode being called "Matt Battled R.D" Matt really dosen't battle R.D. However, our Matt in the Ring, the one and only Matt Wilson, will be taking on all comers for your enjoyment.
SUSAN: I don't know if violence is the best way to provide comedic humor in this sort-
DIANA: Here comes the first fighter now. (Zimed walks up to the ring and climbs in).
ZIMED: You're going down Matt! There can be only on #Cartoonnetwork.com Supreme ruler, and that's me!
MATT WILSON: Whatever.
DIANA: And let the fight begin! (The bell rings. Zimed charges in, but Matt just grabs a gun and shoots Zimed in the chest. Zimed falls to the ground, pretty much dead). Well, uh that was short. How much time we got before we cut to the first act?
SUSAN: (Checks Watch) About 2 Minutes, I believe.
DIANA: Well, let's discuss the final match coming after the parody. The intense conflict between Matt Wilson and R.D, if Matt survives that long anyway.
SAMANATHA: What intense conflict? R.D's gonna get shot at immeditaley and lose even faster then Zimed. That's not intense at all.
DIANA: Don't worry. We'll find a way to make it intense. Now let's go down to the ring where our correspondents are talking to our fighters. (You see Corrado with a microphone talking to Matt Wilson).
CORRADO: Thank you Diana. Oh, and hello Susan.
SUSAN: (Waves at him) Greetings Anthony. You're looking great down there. So what's the story anyway?
CORRADO: Well my love, I'm just about to interview Matt Wilson for his comments on the fights. (Brings microphone to Matt). So any comments Matt?
MATT WILSON: Yeah, why do you buy into that unfunny shtick?
CORRADO: Any comments that won't make me angry?
MATT WILSON: Yeah, but they would make someone else angry. I'll say them anyway. I will take on each person who tries to fight me and easily beat them. That's all I got to say. (Walks off).
CORRADO: Well that's the scoop down here. Back to you ladies in the booth! (Waves goodbye).
DIANA: Thanks Corrado.
SUSAN: *Sigh* Anthony looked so cute down there didn't he?
SAMANATHA: I really can't say. Oh and by the way people watching this, remember, if you just want the parody, ignore everything inbetween these lines. Repeat: Ignore everything between these lines.
DIANA: Well we're out of time for now. See you at the act break!
___________________________________________________________________
AT THE DR.'S OFFICE WHERE I DIDN'T GET A LOLLYPOP FROM!
Dr. PIERS: Let's talk about some fusing stuff! You see, when a man zoid meets a female zoid, and the zoids start to get hot.... wait, that's not fusion.
VULCAN: Duh, it's not fusion, it's Bingo!
DR. PIERS: Now that was just stupid. Well, look at this supposedley highly sophisticated 3-D map I have and check out this! You can have more then 2 Zoids Fuse!
WATTS: Can you have 16 Zoids fuse?
DR. PIERS: I doubt it.
VULCAN: If my Zoids fused with my mom, would that make my mom my weapon.
DR. PIERS: I suppose so.
VULCAN: Cool! I can use my mom as a threat to people!
DR. PIERS: So why did you want this information.
LEADER GUY: Let's just say that I have my reasons.
DR. PIERS: Secret reasons?
LEADER GUY: Well I am a shady badguy in the first scene. And I too... am someone who the parodess forgot to give a name to!
DR. PIERS: We can just call you Jeff Jeff.
JEFF JEFF: I aint being called... DAMN IT!!!!!!!
"MATT DIDN'T REALLY BATTTLE R.D, BUT LET'S JUST SAY THAT SO THE FANS WILL SPECULATE THAT THAT HAPPENS IN THE COURSE OF THE EPISODE."
IN THE MOUNTAIN QUARRY TRAINING GROUND!
R.D: Due to actually winning something for once last week, my ego has rised higher then Madonna on LSD.
MATT: Speaking of what happen before, Remember when I said I would kick your ass last week R.D? Well, that's gonna happen now.
R.D: Sorry, but look at how much better I am then you. Why don't you write to Santa and ask him for some skills?
MATT: Hey! Writing for Santa is for baby's who think that he exists!
R.D: Santa is real! And he's so gonna get me that My Little Pony Super Anti-Racist Action Figure I've been asking for!
MATT: The only thing I want for Christmas are my two front teeth that you took!
R.D: Hey, I had a reason!
FLASHBACK IN VEGAS
R.D: What do you mean I'm short? I'm at least 5 feet 10 inches tall.
MANAGER: No, I mean that you don't have enough money.
R.D: Oh come on! Hmmm... Oh, I know! (Rips off Matt's two front teeth).
MATT: How, now how am I suppose to eat foods that require full use of the mouth.
R.D: Don't worry I can't Lose! Hit me!
MATT: R.D-
R.D: Hit Me!
MATT: R.D-
R.D: Hit Me! Hit Me! Hit Me! Hit Me! Hit Me!
MANAGER: You do realize that you've already gone past 21 sir?
R.D; Hit Me! OWWWW! Why did you hit me?
MATT: Damn it R.D!
R.D: I think I learned a valubale lesson that day. How to play Blackjack.
MATT: You still don't know how to play Blackjack you idiot!
R.D: Well uh... how about I take you out to get some Ice Cream?
MATT: How about my Zoids Piloting License!
R.D: You're Zoid Polluters License! Matt, don't you know that looting and polluting is not the way. Here's what Captain Planet has to say!
CAPTAIN PLANET: I don't have anything to say ****er. Don't make me fire your ass off.
MATT: I said piloting, not polluting!
R.D: Sure, why not? And with me as your coach, you can't fail.
FLASHBACK
R.D: Don't worry kid! With me as your coach, you can't fail!
ANAKIN: That's nice to hear, but then why did you replace my engines with metal poles?
R.D: Duh! So you'll win the Planetary Rod Race.
ANAKIN: That's pod race!
R.D: You can't race with pods!
YODA: Stupidity in this one, great it is.
MATT: That dosen't exactly inspire confidence.
R.D: Does my worried look and anime inspired sweatdrop inspire confidence?
MATT: No, but I'm just going to ignore you and go into my own Daydreams. When I become a famous Zoid pilot, I'm going to become famous and rich and loved by everyone, just like my Dad, except for the rich and loved by everyone part.
R.D: The Ultimate Zing!
MATT: No, here's The Ultimate Zing! (Grabs a taser and shocks R.D).
R.D: Ow, my Zingness!
AT THE EVIL GUY'S BASE!!!
LUKE: Hey Blake, Finally back from the bathroom?
BLAKE: Yeah, I was in there for 7 weeks, which would explain why haven't been around for that long a time.
LUKE: 7 Weeks? Now that's just plain retarded.
BLAKE: No it's not! It's true!
LUKE: What, you fall in?
BLAKE: Actually, Yes I did.
IN BATHROOM WORLD!
BLAKE: I can't believe I fell down the stupid bathroom? Where the crap am I? Oh that's right, in crap, that's just great.
MR. HANKEY: Howdeooooooooooo There Blake! Want to help me save Christmas?
BLAKE: Let me think about that? (Shoots Mr. Hankey with a gun). I don't work for s***.... uh ****!
LUKE: You killed Christmas!
BLAKE: And I'll kill you if you don't hurry up with our unspecified project thing.
LUKE: Well here come the guys. The Leader Watt-
BLAKE: There is someone here named Watt? What the **** were his parents smoking?
WATT: My parents don't smoke, but they do love Electricity. Just ask my sister Bulb!
BLAKE: Okay, now that's just plain wrong.
LUKE: Then there Vulcan and Jeff Jeff.
BLAKE: Vulcan.... eh, but Jeff Jeff?
JEFF JEFF: The parodess forgot my real name. So screw you!
LUKE: Yeah, so uh good you got the Zoids, but what about-
BLAKE: Screw you ****es all! I'm ****ing pouring gravy on the lot of you!
VULCAN: What's with him?
LUKE: He needs to get back into his Bad ass character after spending so much time in the bathroom.
WATT: What, he fall in?
BLAKE: I got a joke for you. Knock Knock.
WATT: Whose there?
BLAKE: ...... **** YOU! (Punches him in the face).
VULCAN: Well we know who Santa put on his naughty list.
BLAKE: Ah, I already stole.... bought..... stole the train I wanted anyway.
AT STOP AND SHOP!!!!
GROCERY LADY: Well here's your bag of oranges!
SWEET: Oranges? But none of us even like oranges.
GROCERY LADY: That's what you get for not paying.
SWEET: But I sexed you up, twice in fact, remember?
GROCERY LADY: Well you can use the Oranges to throw at people.
SWEET: That sounds cool.
GROCERY LADY: Oh, did you hear about Matt trying to get his Zoids Pilot License!
SWEET: What? He's trying to get his Zoid Pilot License?!!!
WORKSHOP: Uh Oh!
MECHANIC: Uh Oh!
SIGMA: Uh Oh!
REGISTRY: Uh Oh!
REGISTER: Uh Oh!
HOP: Uh Oh! (Stack Of Magazines Fall On Him) Uh Oh!
DINER: Uh Oh!
KID: Uh Oh!
KID 2: Uh Oh!
HELMUT: Uh Oh!
GUY: Uh Oh!
BRAK: Uh Oh!
ZORAK: Uh Oh!
DIANA: Uh Oh!
SAMANATHA: Uh Oh!
SUSAN: Uh Oh!
MATT WILSON: Uh Oh!
CORRADO: Uh Oh!
ZOOKEEPER: Uh Oh!
MAILMAN: Uh Oh!
BILL CLINTON: Uh Oh!... And I Did Not Have Any Relations With That Woman.
MACH STORM: Uh Oh!
R.D: Uh Oh! Uh Oh! Uh Oh! Uh Oh! Uh Oh! Uh Oh! Uh-
EVERYONE: Shut up!
R.D: But guys, we're out of spaghetti and Meatballs, and Football's on in an hour (An orange is thrown at him). Ow!
SIGMA: What do you know? They are effective.
HOP: R.D, you know that Matt isn't old enough to get his Zoids Pilot License!
R.D: Sure he is! When every kid is 10 years old, they can go and register and get they're beginning Zoid...omon from Professor....Pier..oak.
SWEET: That's Pokemon you idiot!
R.D: Bah. I got my Zoids License when I was 8, remember?
WHEN R.D WAS 8!
LICENSER: Hey Kid, you're not old enough to get get your Zoid License!
8 YEAR OLD R.D: Oooooh, what does this Button Do?
LICENSER: That's the base self destruction button! Don't touch it!
8 YEAR OLD R.D: What does "self" mean? Ooooooh, shiny button!
LICENSER: No Don't-
KABOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
8 YEAR OLD R.D: Hey, what does this button-
LICENSER: Here! Take your Zoid Pilot License! Just leave!
8 YEAR OLD R.D: Okay lady, I love you bye bye!
LICENSER: This is the worst Hannakuh ever!
R.D: And remember the Time I got My Driver's License?
WHEN R.D WAS 12
DRIVING INSTRUCTOR: Okay, normally I don't let 12 year old drive, but you seem smart enough to-
12 YEAR OLD R.D: I can make it go zooomy! (Presses Button. The car starts and crashes into a passing by car). I can make it go zoomy again!
DRIVING INSTRUCTOR: Nooooo! Just take the license and never bother me again!
12 YEAR OLD R.D: Thanks Professor Plum!
DRIVING INSTRUCTOR: This is the worst Tet ever.
R.D: See? Matt will handle himself just fine.
SWEET: You idiot! We're not gonna pay off the state because you told Matt to do that.
HOP: Yeah, and this reminds me of a long story when I got my Driver's License. It was a long time ago and the west was still young-
R.D: Hey, these oranges are effecitve! (Throws one At Hop and knocks him out). Hmmm, I wonder if this Orange will knock Hop out?
SIGMA: You got that in reverse.
R.D: I got who in the what know?
SIGMA: *Sigh* Don't you know that to pass the test you have to fight in a real Zoid battle.
R.D: I'm sure Matt can do that? I mean, I grew up on the streets and had to do plenty of harder things.
ON THE STREETS
GANG MEMBER: Okay R.D, to get into The Diablos, you have to leave a mark on someone, with this knife!
R.D: Sure! I'm a knife, a knifing around! A cutcutcutcutcutcutcut- oh look, there's a person! (Throws knife).
HOP: Ah, not again! And that's my good eye too!
HELMUT: That was 3 days ago.
R.D: Hey, my street expeirence shall not be ruined by you bringing up dates and realistic facts!
HELMUT: Face those facts R.D. Besides, even if that was true, Matt has no battle expierence. Like his dad, he may sound tough on the internet, but he dosen't have the backbone to fight like a man.
R.D: Yeah, remember that time he fought that rock?
FLASHBACK-
MATT: Okay Rock You're Going Down! (Trips over Rock). Ah! I give, I give!
R.D: How stupid are you R.D?
SWEET: That was my line R.D!
R.D: I was wondering why the cue card said "Paul" on it.
SWEET: There was no cue card, and my name's not Paul.
R.D: Don't you mean "My name's not Paul yet?"
HELMUT: R.D, stop acting stupid for a second. You're gonna have to tell Matt he can't go for his license.
R.D: What? Why can't you guys tell him.
SWEET: Because we had to tell him everything else. Remember the time I taught Matt about sex?
FLASHBACK!
MATT: Sweet, what is sex?
SWEET: Well, I'll have to show you. Take all of your clothes off and go to your room. Remember to shut off all the lights. I'll be up in a second (starts to take off her top).
SIGMA: And remember the Time I taught Matt how to shoot a gun?
FLASHBACKO!
SIGMA: Okay Matt, now rememeber! Keep your gun level and make sure you don't (Matt fires gun).
OLIVER BEANE: I've been shot! FOX is so sueing you know!
SIGMA: We had to eat beans for a month because of that. On the plus side though, his god awful show was cancelled.
HOP: Remember the time I had to explain the holidays to him?
FLASHBACK AGAIN!
MATT: Hey Helmut, why are there 3 types of Christmases?
HOP: Well I'll tell you. Christmas is for those Christians and Catholics who believe in the birth of a baby who grew up to be a hit on broadway and a zombie preacher while they give each other presents and pretend they like each other. Hankuahh is a made up word for those Jewish guys who like to get drunk and play with Driedel's hand carved from each other's wood and throw gifts at their children for 8 days while lighting a candle for each on their sins. And Kwanzza is the Black version of that made up by some Africian who obviously thought he was Jewish and quite frankly, no one knows what the ****in point of it is. (A Christian, Jew and Black Man come in and beat the crap out of Hop).
HOP: I was in the hospital for days because of that.
R.D: When did you get up?
HOP: Well, thousdands of years ago (R.D pushes him down the stairs). Ow, that's my already broken hip bone!
HELMUT: What about the time I had to explain the birds and bees to Matt?
FLASHBACK FOR THE GOD KNOWS HOW MANY TIME!
MATT: Helmut, what are the birds and the bees?
HELMUT: Those are just animals. Birds can shoot lasers, and bees can't drive cars.
MATT: Well then what's sex?
HELMUT: Ask Sweet.
HELMUT: Actually, that really wasn't so bad.
SWEET: You bastard! Because of that, I had to sleep with all of the kids, and then all of they're dads, and then they're moms, and then they're grandmothers.
SIGMA: You didn't have to sleep with the grandmothers.
SWEET: Uh..... yes I did.
HELMUT: I thought you liked bicurious sex!
SWEET: Oh, so that's all you think I am? Some sort of slut who goes around (Phone rings). Hello? Jimmy, is that you? How was first grade? What, you want me to come over! In that costume? Okay, I'll be right over! (puts down phone). Uh..... gotta go! (runs off).
MATT: Hey, look it's my friends who never talk about me behind my back that I know of.
R.D: Uh Matt, there's something I gotta tell you.
MATT: You actually remembered what day it is?
R.D: It's Tuesday right?
MATT: No.
R.D: Then no I haven't. Actually, what I have to tell you is, that the doctors have found out that you have.... The Corrado disease.
MATT: The what?
R.D: It's an uh.... very deadly disease, that makes you only be able to grade things out of 5 and uh.... makes you like Bookerman, and uh.... watch SNL to only parody it and.... makes you the most dreamly, handomest man in the entire planet! Oh Anthony! I want to be with you right now? But I can't. But I miss you so much!.
EVERYONE: ............................
R.D: What, it's a bad disease!
MATT: I don't have any disease. I just came from my checkup.
R.D: Oh, well about your Zoid License Test. In order to qualify, you have to... uh.... brush your teeth everyday and listen to Whitney Houston's latest album for a week straight!
MATT: But I already did that.
R.D: Oh, well then you have to beat me first at Jepoardy-
SIGMA: (Whipsering) R.D, you suck at Jepoardry, remember?
FLASHBACK
ANNOUNCER: Here's the first question for 100 points, complete the phrase: this is Bender from Futurama's favorite thin to say. Kiss my shiny metal what? R.D?
R.D.: Magic stick?
ANNOUNCER: No, sorry. Wrong answer.
R.D: Yeah, but do you remember what happen next?
FLASHBACK AGAIN TO THE SAME PLACE
ANNOUNCER: But wait! We rechecked and discovered that answer was correct to the point of perfection! So R.D wins the game and gets one Zillion dollars and everyone knows he's a genius.
SIGMA: Stop lying R.D.
R.D: Okay. Matt, you have to beat me in a duel.... Zoid Duel, and then I'll let you get your license.... Zoid License.... because I am R.D.... R.D.
MATT: That shouldn't be too hard. Everyone knows that without Fire Phoenix, you suck more then The Vulture.
IN NEW YORK CITY!!!
VULTURE: I got you know Spiderman!
SPIDERMAN: No you don't. You're just some pathetic Old-Man in a bird suit. What are you going to do bore, me to death?
VULTURE: Why back in my day, we use to have a thing called manners, and spoons were made of wood, and-
SPIDERMAN: So bored. Can't focus.
R.D: Oh yeah, well we'll see. And by "we" I mean everyone except Hop! (Rips off his eyes).
HOP: Damn it R.D! Stop doing that!
AT THE BASE OF SANDRA.
WATT: How come every evil weirdo has they're own base of operations?
SANDRA: I'm not a weirdo. I just want That Liger Zero Phoenix.
JEFF JEFF: Why?
SANDRA: Uh..... there are things I need that I will tell you about and things I need that I won't.
JEFF JEFF: Don't you worry. We'll get it to you in Christmas, which is in 4 days.
SANDRA: It is now, but what about when this is read later two days before Christmas, or one, or on Groundhog's day! Will it be 4 days before Christmas then?
VULCAN: I guess it wouldn't.
SANDRA: Good, so get it to me at a date unspecified but we all what it is so this story stays fresh for years and months to come.
WATT: Okay then.
AT THEY'RE BASE!
VULCAN: Hey, Watt, we're home!
WATT: Wait, I thought I left and you stayed.
JEFF JEFF: Didn't we all leave?
VULCAN: Then how come there were two of us at the door and one of us in here.
WATT: We're such minor characters, that we can be interchanged with ease.
WATT: Good advice Vulcan!
JEFF JEFF: No, thank you Jeff Jeff. Anyway (sings)
We three Zoid Pilots Of Evil Are
Making Plans And Stealing Some Cars
Got This Fusion
But In Order To Stop Confusion
We Need To Find The Kid
The Kid Name Matt Fits Into Our Plans
I'd Tell You More But I Can
Not Do That
So Let's End This Act
In the Next Scene.
VULCAN: That was beautiful... whichever one of us sang that.
SCENE: AT THE BAR FROM THAT EPISODE WITH THE BLUE LIGHTENING ARRIVAL
MATT: I need help beating R.D, so I'll just ask random strangers for it. Hey guy, think you can help me beat R.D?
C-P3O: Well I say, R2, this kid wants to go a little fight with you (R2-D2 beeps and knocks him in the shin).
MATT: Ow, I need someone else's help. Hey you, can you help me win a duel.
JOEY WHEELER: Sure kid there! Joey knows all about dueling. First you lay your cards in defense mode there and then you put down some magic cards there.
MATT: Hey, I know you! You're from Magic The Gathering! No, not that, some other show I don't watch.
JOEY WHEELER: Hey someone's watching it.
AT SOMEONE'S TV!
MATT WILSON: I'm not watching it..... what I'm not.
DIANA: I've planted the seed of doubt.
MATT WILSON: I'll plant my boot in your ass!
DIANA: Ah, running!
MATT: Well that didn't help. Hey Mr. Villian Rival man, how do you beat R.D?
BLAKE: You think if I knew how to beat R.D I would be in here drinking and cursing about how much I hate R.D? R.D I HATE YOU SO MUCH AND I'LL F****N KILL YOU *****! F****R DON'T MESS WITH ME THAT FOR SURE!
MATT: What did R.D ever do to you?
BLAKE: Uh.... I can't remember for convienant purposes, but I suspically like you're spunk kid. Because it states in the rival handbook you must be sympathetic to someone, preferably a kid.
MATT: So why are you walking off now?
BLAKE: I'm still a bad ass motha-
LADY: Shut your mouth!
BLAKE: Just talking about me.
LADY: .... You suck.
BLAKE: If I hadn't walked so far away I'd do something about that.
VULCAN: Hey kid, need some help.
MATT: I don't know. My dad dosen't like me talking to strangers.
VULCAN: Well you're dad talks to strangers all the time.
MATT: No he -
VULCAN: DianaGohan.
MATT: Okay, I'm coming with you!
COMMERICAL BREAK
____________________________________________________________________
(Back In The Announcer Booth).
DIANA: Welcome back folks. Well wasn't that a great first part of the parody?
SAMANATHA: Not really no. But I did like that last comment that Vulcan made about you.
DIANA: Yeah, didn't you write that joke?
SAMANATHA: *Smirks* Maybe that's why I like it. But what about insulting Matt and calling him weak? Isn't he beating down all of these people?
DIANA: Okay, that was one of the weaker jokes. What were you're thoughts Susan?
SUSAN: Well, I certainly enjoyed the part where R.D was talking about how great Anthony was-
DIANA: And didn't you write that in.
SUSAN: I believe I did. I'm so sorry if you didn't like it! I just wanted to express my feelings about my sweet Anthony and-
DIANA: I get the point. So let's check in with him at the ring (Corrado is shown by the ring).
CORRADO: Hello again guys. Well, while the parody was going on, the fights continued. Matt took down some Termite Terrace posters who compalined about the new Looney Tunes, and then some Toonami posters who wanted a Second Giant Robot week and kept posting schedules for it, and then some Adult Swim posters who kept wanting to put they're favorite anime in AS. And now he just finished smacking some CN boarders around who keep asking what date Lowbrow will premiere.
MATT WILSON: (Throwing people out of ring) Sometime in Early 2004, and it's not called Lowbrow anymore.
CORRADO: Okay then. Well, it looks like our next challenger will be Brak, from the popular Brak show (Matt picks him up and throws him against the wall and then throws a grenade at Brak).
MATT WILSON: You're show is not really made for adults and shouldn't be on Adult Swim! Like Inuyasha.
INUYASHA: Hey, I heard that.
MATT WILSON: Well, then you would know that you're core demographic is for 15 year old girls and shouldn't be on AS. Technically, it shouldn't be on Toonami either as the entire plotline would have to be rewritten for it to fit there, so you're show really shouldn't be on Cartoon Network at all.
INUYASHA: If you didn't have 3 missle launchers, I would so Tetsusiaga you.
CORRADO: Well I guess it's back to you guys again.
DIANA: Thanks for the report Corrado.
SUSAN: Isn't he just the dreamiest?
SAMANATHA: Can't we just finish the rest of the parody?
DIANA: If you want. And here is part 2!
____________________________________________________________________
END COMMERICAL BREAK!!!
AT THE BASE OF EVIL GUYS AGAIN
MATT: You know, on second thought, maybe it was a better idea to NOT follow the strange man. Espically after that whole Michael Jackson thing.
FLASHBACK
MICHAEL JACKSON: Hey kid, you want some of my candy?
MATT: You're still abusing children?
MICHAEL JACKSON: It's what I do between albums.
MATT: Or that whole Metham High School thing.
FLASHBACK AGAIN
HIGH SCHOOLER: Okay you freshman, you are gonna do what we tell you while we ruin field trips for everybody!
MATT: I'm telling!
HIGH SCHOOLER: Then you're now a freshman!
MATT: Eeeep!
JEFF JEFF: Don't worry kid. We're cool. Check out this Virtual Simulation craft we got.
MATT: Looks like something from Pulp Fiction.
VULCAN: No way! This was so stolen from Babylon Five.
VULCAN: Shut it WATT!
JEFF JEFF: Don't make me get Vulcan and Watt on your ass, Jeff Jeff!
MATT: Uh, I'm out of the loop here.
WATT: We're not important enough for our names to be consistent.
MATT: Oh, so what do I have to do to get this Virtual Reality Simulation!
VULCAN: Start by taking off your shirt.... oh, wrong thing. Just give us all the information on your Zoid in a handy disk.
MATT: Sounds supsicious... but delicious! Although I do have some problems with my Disk.
AT MATT'S COMPUTER!
MATT: Okay, that's 10 Flame Wars Cooled Down. Now to finish my Essay On Why The World Sucks except for me which my dad helped me with.
DISK: Time to crash you're computer! Now we will spread the Y2K
MATT: But it's 2003... Uh, maybe it's 2004.... uh, it's sometime after 2000.
DISK: Well I'm leaving to California to start a rapping career. Maybe I'll call myself, Slim Shortie!
MATT: But it's the Night B4 Christmas!
DISK: No, it's 4 nights before! ha ha!
WATT: Wait, you can't say it's 4 nights before. What if it isn't four nights before?
MATT: Sorry. I guess I wasn't thinking about the fans. Hey, how does this think work anyway?
VULCAN: Uh.... Magic?
WATT: Magic must defeat magic!
WATT: Shut up Jeff Jeff!
JEFF JEFF: One more thing. This joke sucked.
AT THE BASE OF THE STORM THAT HAS A MOCK IN IT!
MATT: Well I got this disk on all info on my Zoid and I'm leaving now.
SWEET: That sounds fairly suspisicous!
R.D: Your mom is fairly suspicious! And so is Jimmy.
SWEET: He is not.
R.D: Then how come you're wearing a stretch thong, a bra that only covers one breast and 7 inch high heel shoes? Not to mention having a sign on your back saying "Me so horny?"
SWEET: Uh.... hey, you can't read R.D!
R.D: I'm reading this book aren't I?
SWEET: Reading is diffrent then licking the pages and then wiping them with your ass!
R.D: That's how the French read Sweet.
HOP: Hey, I'm in this to (The Swamp Monster comes up and starts eating him). My mind!
AT THE EVIL GUY'S BASE FOR THE 3RD OR 4TH TIME!
WATT: Our multicolor Zoid fusion is going to rock!
JEFF JEFF: Yes it is Jeff Jeff. And it is so powerful, I bet we could beat Raven himself!
VULCAN: Azarath Mentrion Zinthos!
VULCAN: The other Raven! The Zoid Pilot one!
DUKE: No way! Raven is a far better pilot. His Genosaur would only need one charged particle cannon to take down your thing.
BLADELIGER: Yeah, Raven is 100,000 times a stronger pilot then R.D! You guys would loose big time against Raven.
WATT: What do you know nerds? Why don't you get out of here?
SHOUJOAIFAN: Hey, while were here, check out a little clip of my parody of DBGT!
PARODY DBGT!
CHI CHI: I Don't believe it! My husband's been transformed into a child!
GOKU: You better watch who you call a child Chi Chi. If I'm a child, you know what that makes you? A pedophile. And I'll be damned if I'm just going to stand here and be insulted by a pervert.
SHOUJOAIFAN: So what do you think?
VULCAN: I think we should go see what Sandra and those guys are doing!
AT SANDRA'S BASE!
SANDRA: I still want the Liger Zero Phoenix for no specific reasons!
BLAKE: I want to be the one to beat R.D! I HATE THAT ****ING ****A SO F****NG MUCH!!!!!
WATT: That was pointless.
DUKE: Most of your villian scenes are. In Chaotic Century, they had real villians and not just pretenders like you who think that they're powerful but are not. And don't get me started on-
JEFF JEFF: Get out of here you ****in nerds!
BLADELIGER: Look who think's there badass. I'd be badass to if I had my badass red jeans... but I lost them in the laundray. Why must the good clothes die young?
FINALLY, IT'S MATT VRS R.D!!!!
MATT: You're going down R.D!
R.D: No Matt, you're going down... then get up... then fire... then back down... then final attack... then knocked to side... then intervined... then hit... then knocked down again. That's how Zoid battles work.
HOP: Look at these great seats! (Falls down) With my last breath I curse Jesus-Zoidberg!
JESUS ZOIDBERG: And I was going to wish him happy holidays and what not! The jerk!
SIGMA: I have to agree with Hop about the seats. They are pretty good.
R.D: If only I had a hotdog!
SIGMA: You're in a Zoid stupid!
HOT DOG VENDOR: Hot dog right here!
R.D: I'll take 10!
SWEET: Can I have some popcorn?
HELMUT: So you feeling lucky Sweet?
SWEET: I'm gonna get lucky... with the girls I invited over to watch the battle.
HELMUT: Damn it! I need a woman.
AT THE BASE
BLAKE: Look at me watch from our base. Hey look it's Matt. And the Cat In The Hat.
CAT IN THE HAT: Fun is fun but you gotta know how!
Zoid Toys and Games Are available now!
BLAKE: If You Rhyme
One More Time
I'll Take Your Ass
And Make It Grass
CAT IN THE HAT: Hey, I got you to rhyme.
BLAKE: No you did- NOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY BAD ASS IMAGE IS RUINED! CURSE YOU R.D! THIS IS YOUR FAULT.... OR AT LEAST I'LL BLAME IT ON YOU!!!!
MATT: Okay, I'm charging at you.
R.D: And here I- oh look, other people. Guess are battles are over.
MATT: I hope the fans aren't going to be P.Oed about this one, like with Kill Bill.
AT THE MOVIE THEATHER!
MOVIE WATCHER: I didn't want to kill bill! That's false advertising! I'm suing!
VULCAN: Yeah, look at us here. It's time to do the fusion!
MATT: What fusion?
VULCAN: Watch this! Form Megazoid
BACKGROUND SINGERS: Go Go Power Rangers!
R.D: Oh no! The singing, the lyrics-
JEFF JEFF: And I'll form the head!
R.D: It can't be!
WATT: It is! It's our Megazoid!
MATT: Wait, so I'm part of some Power Rangerseque Sentai Weapon of marketable items sold to 5-11 year olds who have been Morphed ,Zeoed, Turboed ,In Spaced, Lost Galaxied, Rescue Forced, Time Forced, Wild Beasted, Ninja Stormed And In there was something about aliens?
VULCAN: Yeah, pretty much.
MATT: Ahhhhhh! Eject, eject! Eject!
WATT: Oh well, now we can fight like The VR Troopers.
R.D: The Who?
JEFF JEFF: That's a band, we're talking about the VR Troopers.
WATT: Yeah, but they never had a Matrix Dragon!
WATT: It's Like the Dragonball Z Crossed With The MATRIX!
DRAGONBALL Z: RELOADED!
PICCOLO: You are the one!
GOHAN: The one what?
PICCOLO: Just the one!
GOHAN: Which one!
PICCOLO: The one who will save the future from the machines.
GOHAN: Don't the sayians come first? And aren't those machines androids?
PICCOLO: Hey, I got the red pill! Don't make me use it!
VULCAN: Or was it The Matrix Crossed over with DRAGONBALL Z!
MATRIX BALL Z!
AGENT SMITH: Hello Mr. Anderson! Watch as I wack you with my tail.
NEO: Not if I counter with my Kamehameha or bad acting!
AGENT SMITH: This isn't over Mr. Anderson! We still have 19 episodes left of fighting.
NEO: God damn it!
WATT: Ah forget it! Let's totally kill R.D!
VULCAN: Did you just say Totally Spies, that great new Cartoon Network show about three tenage girls saving the world from evil!
R.D: Ah! You won't use Product Placement on me! Time For Some Fusing!
JEFF JEFF: We all know the drill. But notice that since now we're fairly important we aren't so interchangable.
R.D: Let's see you dodge my Can't I use another attack Laser Claw Strike!
WATT: What do you know, we did? Know time for you to get missled
MISSLED
WATT: And Smacked around!
SMACKIE!
R.D: I can't lose!
VULCAN: Laser thing!
R.D: Well now I probably will. Unless I pull out my NEAR EXACT SAME LASER STRIKE CLAW ATTACK BUT IT'S DIFFRENT CAUSE IT'S BETTER!
JEFF JEFF: And how about we dodge again and fire at you?
R.D: Ow! I lost!
VULCAN: If we were smart villians, we would not gloat about this and just finish him off right here with our bad ass Matrix Dragon, but we're not so we're just going to leave.
WATT: Yeah, we got some hoes to call!
MATT: I can't believe R.D lost!
SWEET: It's okay Matt. I'll comfort you with (Phone rings) Hello. Victory party you say? Sure I'll be over soon. With what on? Okay. See you (Hangs up phone). Uh, that was...... ah screw explanations. (Runs off).
AT SANDRA'S BASE!
SANDRA: Well they won. Pretty good for supposedley minor villians.
BLAKE: But I wanted to beat R.D! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
SANDRA: Stop crying you big baby!
BLAKE: I am not a baby!
SANDRA: Then why did you wet yourself?
BLAKE: Let's just say I don't trust the bathroom much.
SANDRA: Oh yeah.... pussy.
BLAKE: Like yours?
SANDRA: Yes, this cat I'm stroking is quitle lovely.
BLAKE: I meant-
SANDRA: Why don't you go run off and write some more in your diary?
BLAKE: Fine, I think I will (Cries while running off).
BACK AT LOSER R.D!
R.D: Well I may be a loser, but I swear I'll make those guys pay the price. Cause It's Time To Pay The Price!
____________________________________________________________________
(Back at the announcer's booth).
DIANA: And we're back for the final part of Matt vrs Everyone. But first, you guys have any comments on the second part of my parody?
SAMANATHA: You ended it on "It's Time To Pay The Price"? That was lame.
DIANA: Truthfully, that was the only joke I could think of.
SAMANATHA: Will anyone realize that you were refrencing the Home Movies episode "It's Time To Pay The Price" on Adult Swim where all the movies that Brendon, Jason and Melissa made ended with that line?
DIANA: They will now.
SUSAN: I'm a bit confused. I do not understand the joke involving those 3 mean Zoid pilots.
SAMANATHA: It's called "Diana didn't pay close enough attention to they're names and kept forgotting who was who or what one of they guys name was". That's what it was.
DIANA: Well that, and after realizing I didn't know the names, I realized I could make a joke about them.
SAMANATHA: A not very funny joke.
DIANA: It's all a matter of opinon. Anyway, for the final time back to Corrado at the ring. (Cut To Corrado by the ring)
CORRADO: Thanks Diana. Hello again Susan.
SUSAN: Hello again dearie. I hope you are doing well.
CORRADO: I'm just fine. Anyway, another round of fights went on when you were gone. Matt smacked around the people who insulted the message of Veggitales and who just mocked Christian Music in general, kicked some people's ass who thought that Gamecube had a hard collection of Video Game titles, and then banned and beat down on the group who kept saying things like "OMG YOU SUCK YEAH I SIADS IT LOL!!!" And now for the final fight. Matt Wilson vrs R.D.
R.D: Bring it on! I aint losing twice in a row (Matt punches him in the face and R.D falls down unconcious).
MATT WILSON: Was that suppose to be it?
SAMANATHA: That's the same question I'm asking.
DIANA: Well, looks like no one was strong enough to beat Matt. Hmmmm....
SAMANATHA: What is it now?
DIANA: Maybe you should fight him if you want this to have a good fight in it.
SAMANATHA: No, I am not fighting just because you think it will be funny.
DIANA: If you insist, but I think you might have a little crush on Wilson.
SAMANATHA: What? Now that's just absurd? Unlike you or Normalcy, I don't fall prey so easily to love.
SUSAN: Maybe you're just hiding your feelings.
SAMANATHA: No I'm not. And I'm sure Matt isn't either.
DIANA: Oh well, it was just an idea. Anyway, for your viewing pleasure, that was just the parody of "Matt Vrs R.D" plus extras. Good fight, good night.
SAMANATHA: And you know you ripped that line off of Celebrity Deathmatch right?
DIANA: Bite me insanity.
____________________________________________________________________
Well that's it. That was a long one too. But I think it was worth it. Anyway, read and review it here. Please review. And please don't make this thread get closed down.
(EDIT by P*: I had to edit out the profane language)