DianaGohan
12-17-2003, 08:41 PM
It Took Awhile
"A Long While"
Shut Up.
+To Be Technical, in the grand scheme of life, a few days does not constitute a great period of length.+
"Kiss up".
Well enough of that. It's time for the Justice League parody you all have been waiting for.
"Who's "you all?" I mean sure, Corrado and probably a few other people, but you make it seem that everyone's intrested in listening to your crap."
+I think your parodies are very humourous and entertaining to view Diana. Perhaps Insanity is Jealous of your skills at potraying the characters.+
Maybe Susan's right, Samanatha.
"Bah, I'll show you. Let me write the parody and I'll show you what real humor is all about. It isn't sex jokes and random scenes, I'll tell you that right now."
Okay then. You do it.
"Okay I will!
Samanatha-Insanity's Justice League "Comfort and Joy" Parody.
Warning: What warning? You all are just going to view this despite what age you are and what the content is anyway. So let's just get on with this.
SCENE: On The Nomecian Planet, The Justice League (Well, 5 Members of the 7 Enesemble Cast Of Justice League) are busy gathering materials for a device of some sort.
FLASH: Don't you find it ironic that the Anti-Gravity Beam We're Building is the device Vandal Savage used in "Hereafter" to destroy the world?
SUPERMAN: He didn't use it to destroy the world, because we stopped him in time before he destroyed the world.
FLASH: Yeah, but then how would we know about how he destroyed the world if we stopped him before he did that?
SUPERMAN: Just say you hate time traveling and move on.
MARTIAN MANHUNTER: Yeah, and listen to the advice I'm giving you on how to operate the Anti-Gravity device.
FLASH: Well you're doing it psyichally, so I have no choice to listen.
GREEN LANTERN: If this was a normal two parter, we would complete this device and then some villians would attack, then we'd beat them and they'd give us a clue somehow to the real villians, which we would see in a seperate scene, then a cliffhanger of some sort, and then we find out more about the villian through some sort of backstory, and then big climatic fight. Of course, since this is a One-Parter, we just create the device and save the planet.
NOMECIANS: Thank you friends. Now we must celebrate "Destroy The Sacared Tree With Mystic Hammers Of Supreme Doom" Day so we must be off.
FLASH: That reminds me of christmas coming.
SUPERMAN: I don't want to know how that reminds you of Christmas.
GREEN LANTERN: And that's my cue to walk off... well fly off and do stuff that you do not know about.
HAWKGIRL: Even though this came before "Wild Cards" I still secretly love him and will follow him.
FLASH: You do that. I'll just be chilling in the jet.
MARTIAN MANHUNTER: And I'll just be "chilling" trying to think of what Christmas is.
SUPERMAN: Hey, that gives me an idea. An idea so clever that it hurts my brain if I just begin to think I knew what I was talking about.
THE STANDARD THEME. IF YOU WANT A PARODY, JUST IMAGINE 7 RANDOM PEOPLE WALKING ALONG. DIANA WOULD THINK THAT WOULD BE FUNNY.
SCENE: In The Frosted Cover Mountains of the Nomecian Planet, we See Green Lantern using his ring powers to ski along the mountain.
GREEN LANTERN: Yeah, SSX3 has nothing on me.
HAWKGIRL: Maybe, but I still prefer Tony Hawk Underground.
GREEN LANTERN: How could you? My Grandmother loved that game, and we used to play it all the time when I was a kid before she died about 20 years ago.
HAWKGIRL: But the game came out just a couple of months ago? How could you and your Grandma have played it?
GREEN LANTERN: Do not challenge the plotholes of my stories! Look at this snowman!
HAWKGIRL: So what? Snow sucks. It's cold and wet and causes massive road delays in great quanities.
GREEN LANTERN: I shall show you the error of that with a snowball fight!
HAWKGIRL: Does it bother you that you're using more ring manulatpion in this playful little jest then in actual combat situations. Besides of course when you faced Sinistero, but that was only because he also had a power ring.
GREEN LANTERN: A bit, but I'm sure that the religious people will be offended by my rendition of an angel.
HAWKGIRL: They say that when an Angel loses it's wings, it becomes a fallen angel and plummets toward the ground, and ends up causing all sorts of ripples.
GREEN LANTERN: Enough of the Big O philosphy! Let's watch Flash make more of an ass of himself then usual
SCENE: At your not-local orphanage.
MRS SAUNDERS: And now for your pleasure... I think.... It's The Flash as Santa!
FLASH: Yeah I'm here, doing my 200 Hours of Community Service. Let's just say kids, that you go 30 in a 30 Mile Per Hour Zone.... not 600, and not multiple times. Uh anyway, what fine CN related product can I get you to promote shopping at CartoonNetwork.com
KID: A DJ Rubber Ducky!
FLASH: That's not Cartoon Network related. How about the Duck Dodgers Super Protecerate ship with not really working photon cannons.
KID 2: We have that!
FLASH: Then how about the Sitting Ducks plushie collectables! Get all 4 for only $100! Now there's a deal.
KID: That show sucks!
FLASH: Typical kids and you're abruptness with sprouting out your opinions. Anyway, as it's my obligation as a hero and a forced member of the community helping staff, I shall get you that toy.
MRS SAUNDERS: Yeah, but that's sold out everywhere.
FLASH: Refrence To "The Brave And The Bold".
MRS SAUNDERS: What does sold out toys have to do with Evil Super Intellegent Gorillas?
FLASH: Spaceballs Refrence.
MRS SAUNDERS: That really dosen't answer my question.
FLASH: Okay, here's an answer. I'm ignorant enough to think that. And away I go!
MRS SAUNDERS: But you're still here.
FLASH: Give it a second (Leaves) And away I go... uh, left!
SCENE: At the Residence Of The Kents, Clark And J'ohnn pay a visit to Superman's adoptive family.
J'ONN J'ONNZ: Are you sure your family will be acceptive of me?
CLARK KENT: Sure they will. Just be glad you're not John Stewart, then they would chase you out of the house.
J'ONN J'ONNZ: And why would they do that?
CLARK KENT: For reasons that I will not tell you. (Enters house) Hey Mom Dad, I brought along a Martian. You know, a species that is almost dead like mine?
PA KENT: Yeah. And It's Not Like "My Favorite Martian" did much to tell the public the truth about Martians.
MA KENT: He can sleep in Kara's room J'onn. Kara is out skiing with Barbara.
CLARK KENT: That fact would worry me if this was a DianaGohan Parody, but luckily it is a far superior SamanathaInsanity produced one. (Gives thumbs up to Samanatha, who gives it back to him). So anyway, here's the room J'onn.
J'ONN J'ONNZ: It's fairly girlish for my alien tastes, but I'll just ignore that during my stay. I can't ignore that change in character you showed though.
CLARK KENT: Yeah, my alter ego is a lot friendlier and open then the guy you normally see.
J'ONN J'ONNZ: Yeah, but what's with the glasses? You can see far better then the average man.
CLARK KENT: They help hide my idenity as Superman.
J'ONN J'ONNZ: Yeah, but don't you think that people would look past the glasses and blue and red spandex and see how you really are?
CLARK KENT: No, and that is what's great about being an American: You're too wrapped up in physical features to look past a person. Anyway, I gotta go. You get along with the cat.
J'ONN J'ONNZ: It's dejection of me makes me sad. Even sadder then reading Zods Fugors.
SCENE: More Of The Snowball Fight On The Nomeican Planet Between GL and Hawkgirl.
HAWKGIRL: You think that you would have one easily considering the strengths and attributes of your ring is far better suited to a snowball fight then just my mace and wings, not to mention that you have far more experience in this sort of battle.
GREEN LANTERN: Well it's obvious this is just for fun and will help deepen our relationship.
HAWKGIRL: How can a relationship be deepened by a snowball fight? I mean, besides one where the person is incredibley idiotic and think she knows anything?
"I Love Blue Falcon"
HAWKGIRL: See what I mean?
GREEN LANTERN: What would end this embarrasingly long conversation?
HAWKGIRL: We could go visit this place I know that isn't Thanagar.
GREEN LANTERN: Does it have to do with Christmas?
HAWKGIRL: ........ Let's just go.
GREEN LANTERN: That's not the response I was looking forward to.
SCENE: The Flash Is Looking all over town for a DJ Rubber Ducky Toy, but seems to find none as every place is sold out of it.
FLASH: Wow, this Duck toy is more popular in it's day then Tickle Me Elmo or Pokemon cards. I should just order it off the internet, but I'll be thickheaded and anal and continue to search for it.... just like Diana would. And does.
WONDER WOMAN: You talking about me?
FLASH: You're not in this remember?
WONDER WOMAN: You know, we Amazons used to celebrate Christmas, by taking out the enchanted bow and arrows and-
FLASH: Enough of the history lesson. I'll just continue my search in other stores. (Runs around). Well that didn't help. I should just go to the source material and ask for one. Which I think I will.
JAPANESE BUISNESSMAN: This is a very delicate toy that I only have one off. Whatever you do, do not put it near a battle with an evil supervillian.
FLASH: Wow, that's useful advice that I will choose to ignore.
SCENE: It's Coco Time At The Kent House As Clark Sits Down With His Parents
PA KENT: You know, we always had to put lead around your gifts when you were a child. Which ignores "Smallville" and you getting that X-Ray power when you were a teenager.
CLARK KENT: I thought Santa did that. He does exist right?
MA KENT: We'll never know... until the Teen Titans christmas special anyway. Which will happen in the 3rd Season as CN will demand it. Anyway J'onn, here's a sweater I knitted you.
J'ONN J'ONNZ: Well this saves me saying "Hey B****, you get in that kitchen and knit me a sweater". And thanks to my body morphing abilities, one size DOES fit all. Too bad I couldn't get you a gift.
PA KENT: That's okay son. You're presence gives us more screentime, which has been severly lacking on JL.
MA KENT: Put you could try pitching "The Kents" to WB. They've been looking for any sort of spinoff lately.
J'ONN J'ONNZ: Okay, but if it's on the WB evening lineup, it's more likely to be runoff... from a waste pump. (Everyone laughs).
SCENE: A seedy and dark planet where we see GL and Hawkgirl descending into and entering a bar.
GREEN LANTERN: I thought this was suppose to be about the holidays.
HAWKGIRL: Well I read there's a Drink Day. Buy 2 drinks and get one half off.
GREEN LANTERN: That's not what I meant. How do you know this place anyway?
HAWKGIRL: I've been here before.
GREEN LANTERN: But that's impossible. It's been established that Thanagar is far to long a distance for me to use my ring to travel to, as well as most methods of transportation. So you possibly couldn't of visited this place when you lived on Thanagar. And if you are trying to say that you knew of this place after coming to Earth, that's really impossible as well. We all know that the Javelin is the only space ship we have, and it's doubtful you took it out to go to an alien bar the year you've been in the Justice League with us.
HAWKGIRL: Your points are fairly valid, but ignore that as I act incredilbley OOC. And not in the "Clark Kent/Superman" sort of way either. As in the "this is how I act around the drunk and the sleezy that I like" sort of way. (To bartender) Yeah, I think there's a Seymour, last name Asses in the back of the bar, and he's looking for you.
BARTENDER: Let me check. Attention people! I'm looking for Seemore Asses. Repeat, Seemore asses, I want Seemore asses up here.
RANDON DRUNK: Yeah, you show us yours first, homo.
BARTENDER: Why you! I'm gonna remove your vocal chords with this tweezer, and then staple your brain to the side of my door.
HAWKGIRL: He told me to say it. (Points to GL).
GREEN LANTERN: No I did- (Gets jumped by Bartender. Soon everyone in the bar is fighting. The reason is your guess as well as mine).
SCENE: The Flash Is Running Through Down And Then Sees An Explosion.
FLASH: My instinct is telling me to use my "fastest man alive" speed to zoom over and put the toy in the Orphanage and zoom back and check this out, but placing it in everyone's way should be alright.
ULTRA HUMANITE: Guess whose back your uneducated lout?
FLASH: I thought you were one of those villians who were actually fairly happy in jail. I mean, you were enjoying the opera in your cell T.V after the end of "Injustice For All" right?
ULTRA HUMANITE: Perhaps, but my contract demanded I get one Season Two appearence, and where better in this holiday episode. Now let's end fairly anticlimaticly.
FLASH: Well, more like "Insert Commerical Break" or something like that. Look, there's one for the next chapter of Clone Wars-
ULTRA HUMANITE: More like chapters, coming out Spring 2004.
FLASH: I think that's the one thing we all agreed on that actually made us want to see Episode III. And there's Freaky Friday DVD-
ULTRA HUMANITE: I half expected at one point for them to pull that here.
FLASH: Mario And Luigi Supersaga, more Cat In The Overmerchanized Hat Commericals, and finally back to us.
ULTRA HUMANITE: I don't know who was suprised with me missing shooting you or falling on that toy. It's a pretty obvious setup.
FLASH: And it's pretty obvious for me to say "How can you enjoy ruining Christmas! Hasn't that ever meant something to you".
ULTRA HUMANITE: And That's When All The Kiddies Say That My Heart Grew Three Times Larger that day. It didn't. My level of tolernace though temporaily increased and I called a truce with Flash and help him fix the toy.
FLASH: But why did you have to knock me out?
ULTRA HUMANITE: Everyone knows that violence is always the answer. After all, it was wars that helped America gain independence, reunite the South, and stopped the world from becoming a Nazi-Facist dictaorship.
FLASH: I suppose that makes sense, although I hope you don't bring that level of violence in the toy.
ULTRA HUMANITE: With the easy accesiblity of kids obtaining firearms coupled with the still leinanant censorship on of cinemma and music, my creation shouldn't make any diffrence really. But being the temporaily nice guy I am, it won't blow up, unless it becomes the newest kids craze and everyone rushes out to buy one.
FLASH: Wacky kids and they're holiday obsessions influenced by the Media.
SCENE: We see J'onn in the Kent household, looking at Clark's parents in the kitchen, and then at Clark trying to look through his presents.
CLARK KENT: You know, if Santa Claus does exist, I have to ask him where he gets this lead wrapping paper. And then burn down the building so I can actually look through my presents
(J'onn continues his searching around the town).
J'ONN J'ONNZ: I really don't watch Smallville, but I didn't imagine it looks like this. And now I'll transform until John Jones and alienate the average viewer even more while the DC Comic fans eat up this appearence. Almost as much as they'll appreciate me eating an oreo, a refrence to the Giffen Era of Justice League.
GIRL: Hey, Santa ate my cookie but didn't leave a present.
J'ONN J'ONNZ: (Imiatating Santa) I left you with the believe of what you hopes and dreams are will happen. That is far more then any material object I can give you.
GIRL: But I'm in the MTV Generation!
J'ONN J'ONNZ: (Imiatating Santa) Well here's this copy of Brittney's newest CD she recorded. I'd say which one, but that would make the refrence more dated. I won't even say she's Brittney Spears, assuming you all know who I'm talking about.
GIRL: Thanks Santa!
J'ONN J'ONNZ: Just remember: That the truth path to happiness is not what goods and devices you own, but knowing that there is warmth and happiness in your soul and that you have a god that you can believe in. And that JL can get away with Big O type Hymm Singing.
SCENE: At The Bar, Green Lantern And Hawkgirl are fighting off random aliens.
GREEN LANTERN: I don't get it. This has nothing to do with Christmas at all. I think Bruce Timm just wanted to throw in a fight scene.
PAUL DINI: No this was my idea! I always wanted to do a bar scene, but never got the chance to do so in Freakazoid, and even though I kind of got one in Duck Dodgers, "Wrath Of Canasta" only wetted my appitete. And now I get to fill it with this.
GREEN LANTERN: So you actually did have a Christmas story planned out for us but instead fufilled your selfish wishes and did this on the spurr of a moment.
PAUL DINI: Actually, I couldn't think of anything else either.
HAWKGIRL: Come on John. Get in the spirit of the bar fight. Look at Paul (Paul Dini is getting smacked around by a rough looking group of aliens).
GREEN LANTERN: Great, this guy punched me out. Can we go now?
HAWKGIRL: How are we suppose to go anywhere if we are in a stasis of unconcuousness.
GREEN LANTERN: That logic makes sense, even though I hate it so.
SCENE: The Santa Flash and The Humanite Elf are giving the present to the kids.
FLASH: Here you go kids! You're overpriced, rapping cartoon duck that will become obsolete in a few months when they come out with the Truckin Roose The Moose Doll!
ULTRA HUMANITE: Yes, but that toy have the special added on story telling feature that I think is fairly classy.
FLASH: Yes, and it is better to have intellegent humor and sophisitaction then cheap sex or fart jokes/actions that make the masses laugh. Only true fools go for that sort of setup.
ULTRA HUMANITE: Speaking of Setup, here I am beign setup in this jail cell, which is a lot less nicer then the one I recieved in "Injustice For All".
FLASH: Maybe, but I added on this plastic christmas tree for a little extra flavor.
ULTRA HUMANITE: It's nice, but what do I do with it after christmas?
FLASH: Well, just spraypaint it black and I'll give it to John for Kwanzaa.
ULTRA HUMANITE: Ah yes, the holiday celebration for africian americans that has no religous basis and was made simply to give the colored community some special days they could look forward to that no one else could.
FLASH: Not to mention the fact that Kwanzza is essitantly Black Hanakuah. But you won't find that on any non-offensive T-Shirts. Anyway, remember after the holidays, I go back to hating you.
ULTRA HUMANITE: I know. But if I'm lucky I'll get just one appearence in Season Three, and they'll probably only have me as some throwaway villian.
FLASH: Glad you know the drill.
ULTRA HUMANITE: It's what I'm accustomed to, even though it pretty much is unfair and shows that the audience prefers braindead buffons and gimmicky adversary's then one's that actually prove and intellectual challenge.
FLASH: I know. Anyway, look at me stalk you a bit when you're in your cell. It's makes as much sense as anything that happen to John and Shayala.
SCENE: Speaking of Green Lantern and Hawkgirl, they are knocked out along with a group of aliens and Paul Dini. Hawkgirl wakes up and kisses GL as the "Awwwww" sign in the Auidence flickers on. We then move onto the Kent residence, where J'onn enlightens the family with some alien hymms while rubbing the household feline. The sun shines on the house as the credits pop up, and we see that the episode was being watched by Wonder Woman and Batman the entire time.
BATMAN: I would be fairly infuriated at the fact at being essitantly left out of the episode if not for the fact that I already have "Gotham Holiday Knights" under my belt, which is the superior episode.
WONDER WOMAN: Why is that? Is it because it has more emotional depth and far more enjoyable premises?
BATMAN: All I'm saying is, my holiday special didn't need a pointless bar fight to fill a few minutes of the show.
WONDER WOMAN: Good point. You think the auidence wants to hear of our adventures in combating some crooks and then finding some Christmas presents to give each other?
BATMAN: Nah, they would proabably want to post they're opinions and thoughts on why this work of creation far exceeds the average parody for it's sophistication and amount of time put into it.
(The camera then shifts to the words THE END).
So that's it eh?
"Yeah. A lot better then your shoddy works, I can tell you that right now."
I don't know. I gotta feeling Corrado's going to write in "Diana, why didn't you write this? Your insanity's peice wasn't really that funny at all, and made me wonder why I waited so long to just read that?"
"So you hurt my feelings with your words of cruelty and negative opinion?"
I'm sorry Insanity. I did think it was pretty good.
+I do felt that it was a very well written place. You did a very good job with it Samanatha.+
"Thanks Susan."
+I just hope someday that I as well will be able to entertain the wonderful people here with a humorous story that they will enjoy+
Don't worry Normalcy. You will someday. Anyway, that's it. All comments and criticisms go here. And to everyone.
Happy Holidays.
"A Long While"
Shut Up.
+To Be Technical, in the grand scheme of life, a few days does not constitute a great period of length.+
"Kiss up".
Well enough of that. It's time for the Justice League parody you all have been waiting for.
"Who's "you all?" I mean sure, Corrado and probably a few other people, but you make it seem that everyone's intrested in listening to your crap."
+I think your parodies are very humourous and entertaining to view Diana. Perhaps Insanity is Jealous of your skills at potraying the characters.+
Maybe Susan's right, Samanatha.
"Bah, I'll show you. Let me write the parody and I'll show you what real humor is all about. It isn't sex jokes and random scenes, I'll tell you that right now."
Okay then. You do it.
"Okay I will!
Samanatha-Insanity's Justice League "Comfort and Joy" Parody.
Warning: What warning? You all are just going to view this despite what age you are and what the content is anyway. So let's just get on with this.
SCENE: On The Nomecian Planet, The Justice League (Well, 5 Members of the 7 Enesemble Cast Of Justice League) are busy gathering materials for a device of some sort.
FLASH: Don't you find it ironic that the Anti-Gravity Beam We're Building is the device Vandal Savage used in "Hereafter" to destroy the world?
SUPERMAN: He didn't use it to destroy the world, because we stopped him in time before he destroyed the world.
FLASH: Yeah, but then how would we know about how he destroyed the world if we stopped him before he did that?
SUPERMAN: Just say you hate time traveling and move on.
MARTIAN MANHUNTER: Yeah, and listen to the advice I'm giving you on how to operate the Anti-Gravity device.
FLASH: Well you're doing it psyichally, so I have no choice to listen.
GREEN LANTERN: If this was a normal two parter, we would complete this device and then some villians would attack, then we'd beat them and they'd give us a clue somehow to the real villians, which we would see in a seperate scene, then a cliffhanger of some sort, and then we find out more about the villian through some sort of backstory, and then big climatic fight. Of course, since this is a One-Parter, we just create the device and save the planet.
NOMECIANS: Thank you friends. Now we must celebrate "Destroy The Sacared Tree With Mystic Hammers Of Supreme Doom" Day so we must be off.
FLASH: That reminds me of christmas coming.
SUPERMAN: I don't want to know how that reminds you of Christmas.
GREEN LANTERN: And that's my cue to walk off... well fly off and do stuff that you do not know about.
HAWKGIRL: Even though this came before "Wild Cards" I still secretly love him and will follow him.
FLASH: You do that. I'll just be chilling in the jet.
MARTIAN MANHUNTER: And I'll just be "chilling" trying to think of what Christmas is.
SUPERMAN: Hey, that gives me an idea. An idea so clever that it hurts my brain if I just begin to think I knew what I was talking about.
THE STANDARD THEME. IF YOU WANT A PARODY, JUST IMAGINE 7 RANDOM PEOPLE WALKING ALONG. DIANA WOULD THINK THAT WOULD BE FUNNY.
SCENE: In The Frosted Cover Mountains of the Nomecian Planet, we See Green Lantern using his ring powers to ski along the mountain.
GREEN LANTERN: Yeah, SSX3 has nothing on me.
HAWKGIRL: Maybe, but I still prefer Tony Hawk Underground.
GREEN LANTERN: How could you? My Grandmother loved that game, and we used to play it all the time when I was a kid before she died about 20 years ago.
HAWKGIRL: But the game came out just a couple of months ago? How could you and your Grandma have played it?
GREEN LANTERN: Do not challenge the plotholes of my stories! Look at this snowman!
HAWKGIRL: So what? Snow sucks. It's cold and wet and causes massive road delays in great quanities.
GREEN LANTERN: I shall show you the error of that with a snowball fight!
HAWKGIRL: Does it bother you that you're using more ring manulatpion in this playful little jest then in actual combat situations. Besides of course when you faced Sinistero, but that was only because he also had a power ring.
GREEN LANTERN: A bit, but I'm sure that the religious people will be offended by my rendition of an angel.
HAWKGIRL: They say that when an Angel loses it's wings, it becomes a fallen angel and plummets toward the ground, and ends up causing all sorts of ripples.
GREEN LANTERN: Enough of the Big O philosphy! Let's watch Flash make more of an ass of himself then usual
SCENE: At your not-local orphanage.
MRS SAUNDERS: And now for your pleasure... I think.... It's The Flash as Santa!
FLASH: Yeah I'm here, doing my 200 Hours of Community Service. Let's just say kids, that you go 30 in a 30 Mile Per Hour Zone.... not 600, and not multiple times. Uh anyway, what fine CN related product can I get you to promote shopping at CartoonNetwork.com
KID: A DJ Rubber Ducky!
FLASH: That's not Cartoon Network related. How about the Duck Dodgers Super Protecerate ship with not really working photon cannons.
KID 2: We have that!
FLASH: Then how about the Sitting Ducks plushie collectables! Get all 4 for only $100! Now there's a deal.
KID: That show sucks!
FLASH: Typical kids and you're abruptness with sprouting out your opinions. Anyway, as it's my obligation as a hero and a forced member of the community helping staff, I shall get you that toy.
MRS SAUNDERS: Yeah, but that's sold out everywhere.
FLASH: Refrence To "The Brave And The Bold".
MRS SAUNDERS: What does sold out toys have to do with Evil Super Intellegent Gorillas?
FLASH: Spaceballs Refrence.
MRS SAUNDERS: That really dosen't answer my question.
FLASH: Okay, here's an answer. I'm ignorant enough to think that. And away I go!
MRS SAUNDERS: But you're still here.
FLASH: Give it a second (Leaves) And away I go... uh, left!
SCENE: At the Residence Of The Kents, Clark And J'ohnn pay a visit to Superman's adoptive family.
J'ONN J'ONNZ: Are you sure your family will be acceptive of me?
CLARK KENT: Sure they will. Just be glad you're not John Stewart, then they would chase you out of the house.
J'ONN J'ONNZ: And why would they do that?
CLARK KENT: For reasons that I will not tell you. (Enters house) Hey Mom Dad, I brought along a Martian. You know, a species that is almost dead like mine?
PA KENT: Yeah. And It's Not Like "My Favorite Martian" did much to tell the public the truth about Martians.
MA KENT: He can sleep in Kara's room J'onn. Kara is out skiing with Barbara.
CLARK KENT: That fact would worry me if this was a DianaGohan Parody, but luckily it is a far superior SamanathaInsanity produced one. (Gives thumbs up to Samanatha, who gives it back to him). So anyway, here's the room J'onn.
J'ONN J'ONNZ: It's fairly girlish for my alien tastes, but I'll just ignore that during my stay. I can't ignore that change in character you showed though.
CLARK KENT: Yeah, my alter ego is a lot friendlier and open then the guy you normally see.
J'ONN J'ONNZ: Yeah, but what's with the glasses? You can see far better then the average man.
CLARK KENT: They help hide my idenity as Superman.
J'ONN J'ONNZ: Yeah, but don't you think that people would look past the glasses and blue and red spandex and see how you really are?
CLARK KENT: No, and that is what's great about being an American: You're too wrapped up in physical features to look past a person. Anyway, I gotta go. You get along with the cat.
J'ONN J'ONNZ: It's dejection of me makes me sad. Even sadder then reading Zods Fugors.
SCENE: More Of The Snowball Fight On The Nomeican Planet Between GL and Hawkgirl.
HAWKGIRL: You think that you would have one easily considering the strengths and attributes of your ring is far better suited to a snowball fight then just my mace and wings, not to mention that you have far more experience in this sort of battle.
GREEN LANTERN: Well it's obvious this is just for fun and will help deepen our relationship.
HAWKGIRL: How can a relationship be deepened by a snowball fight? I mean, besides one where the person is incredibley idiotic and think she knows anything?
"I Love Blue Falcon"
HAWKGIRL: See what I mean?
GREEN LANTERN: What would end this embarrasingly long conversation?
HAWKGIRL: We could go visit this place I know that isn't Thanagar.
GREEN LANTERN: Does it have to do with Christmas?
HAWKGIRL: ........ Let's just go.
GREEN LANTERN: That's not the response I was looking forward to.
SCENE: The Flash Is Looking all over town for a DJ Rubber Ducky Toy, but seems to find none as every place is sold out of it.
FLASH: Wow, this Duck toy is more popular in it's day then Tickle Me Elmo or Pokemon cards. I should just order it off the internet, but I'll be thickheaded and anal and continue to search for it.... just like Diana would. And does.
WONDER WOMAN: You talking about me?
FLASH: You're not in this remember?
WONDER WOMAN: You know, we Amazons used to celebrate Christmas, by taking out the enchanted bow and arrows and-
FLASH: Enough of the history lesson. I'll just continue my search in other stores. (Runs around). Well that didn't help. I should just go to the source material and ask for one. Which I think I will.
JAPANESE BUISNESSMAN: This is a very delicate toy that I only have one off. Whatever you do, do not put it near a battle with an evil supervillian.
FLASH: Wow, that's useful advice that I will choose to ignore.
SCENE: It's Coco Time At The Kent House As Clark Sits Down With His Parents
PA KENT: You know, we always had to put lead around your gifts when you were a child. Which ignores "Smallville" and you getting that X-Ray power when you were a teenager.
CLARK KENT: I thought Santa did that. He does exist right?
MA KENT: We'll never know... until the Teen Titans christmas special anyway. Which will happen in the 3rd Season as CN will demand it. Anyway J'onn, here's a sweater I knitted you.
J'ONN J'ONNZ: Well this saves me saying "Hey B****, you get in that kitchen and knit me a sweater". And thanks to my body morphing abilities, one size DOES fit all. Too bad I couldn't get you a gift.
PA KENT: That's okay son. You're presence gives us more screentime, which has been severly lacking on JL.
MA KENT: Put you could try pitching "The Kents" to WB. They've been looking for any sort of spinoff lately.
J'ONN J'ONNZ: Okay, but if it's on the WB evening lineup, it's more likely to be runoff... from a waste pump. (Everyone laughs).
SCENE: A seedy and dark planet where we see GL and Hawkgirl descending into and entering a bar.
GREEN LANTERN: I thought this was suppose to be about the holidays.
HAWKGIRL: Well I read there's a Drink Day. Buy 2 drinks and get one half off.
GREEN LANTERN: That's not what I meant. How do you know this place anyway?
HAWKGIRL: I've been here before.
GREEN LANTERN: But that's impossible. It's been established that Thanagar is far to long a distance for me to use my ring to travel to, as well as most methods of transportation. So you possibly couldn't of visited this place when you lived on Thanagar. And if you are trying to say that you knew of this place after coming to Earth, that's really impossible as well. We all know that the Javelin is the only space ship we have, and it's doubtful you took it out to go to an alien bar the year you've been in the Justice League with us.
HAWKGIRL: Your points are fairly valid, but ignore that as I act incredilbley OOC. And not in the "Clark Kent/Superman" sort of way either. As in the "this is how I act around the drunk and the sleezy that I like" sort of way. (To bartender) Yeah, I think there's a Seymour, last name Asses in the back of the bar, and he's looking for you.
BARTENDER: Let me check. Attention people! I'm looking for Seemore Asses. Repeat, Seemore asses, I want Seemore asses up here.
RANDON DRUNK: Yeah, you show us yours first, homo.
BARTENDER: Why you! I'm gonna remove your vocal chords with this tweezer, and then staple your brain to the side of my door.
HAWKGIRL: He told me to say it. (Points to GL).
GREEN LANTERN: No I did- (Gets jumped by Bartender. Soon everyone in the bar is fighting. The reason is your guess as well as mine).
SCENE: The Flash Is Running Through Down And Then Sees An Explosion.
FLASH: My instinct is telling me to use my "fastest man alive" speed to zoom over and put the toy in the Orphanage and zoom back and check this out, but placing it in everyone's way should be alright.
ULTRA HUMANITE: Guess whose back your uneducated lout?
FLASH: I thought you were one of those villians who were actually fairly happy in jail. I mean, you were enjoying the opera in your cell T.V after the end of "Injustice For All" right?
ULTRA HUMANITE: Perhaps, but my contract demanded I get one Season Two appearence, and where better in this holiday episode. Now let's end fairly anticlimaticly.
FLASH: Well, more like "Insert Commerical Break" or something like that. Look, there's one for the next chapter of Clone Wars-
ULTRA HUMANITE: More like chapters, coming out Spring 2004.
FLASH: I think that's the one thing we all agreed on that actually made us want to see Episode III. And there's Freaky Friday DVD-
ULTRA HUMANITE: I half expected at one point for them to pull that here.
FLASH: Mario And Luigi Supersaga, more Cat In The Overmerchanized Hat Commericals, and finally back to us.
ULTRA HUMANITE: I don't know who was suprised with me missing shooting you or falling on that toy. It's a pretty obvious setup.
FLASH: And it's pretty obvious for me to say "How can you enjoy ruining Christmas! Hasn't that ever meant something to you".
ULTRA HUMANITE: And That's When All The Kiddies Say That My Heart Grew Three Times Larger that day. It didn't. My level of tolernace though temporaily increased and I called a truce with Flash and help him fix the toy.
FLASH: But why did you have to knock me out?
ULTRA HUMANITE: Everyone knows that violence is always the answer. After all, it was wars that helped America gain independence, reunite the South, and stopped the world from becoming a Nazi-Facist dictaorship.
FLASH: I suppose that makes sense, although I hope you don't bring that level of violence in the toy.
ULTRA HUMANITE: With the easy accesiblity of kids obtaining firearms coupled with the still leinanant censorship on of cinemma and music, my creation shouldn't make any diffrence really. But being the temporaily nice guy I am, it won't blow up, unless it becomes the newest kids craze and everyone rushes out to buy one.
FLASH: Wacky kids and they're holiday obsessions influenced by the Media.
SCENE: We see J'onn in the Kent household, looking at Clark's parents in the kitchen, and then at Clark trying to look through his presents.
CLARK KENT: You know, if Santa Claus does exist, I have to ask him where he gets this lead wrapping paper. And then burn down the building so I can actually look through my presents
(J'onn continues his searching around the town).
J'ONN J'ONNZ: I really don't watch Smallville, but I didn't imagine it looks like this. And now I'll transform until John Jones and alienate the average viewer even more while the DC Comic fans eat up this appearence. Almost as much as they'll appreciate me eating an oreo, a refrence to the Giffen Era of Justice League.
GIRL: Hey, Santa ate my cookie but didn't leave a present.
J'ONN J'ONNZ: (Imiatating Santa) I left you with the believe of what you hopes and dreams are will happen. That is far more then any material object I can give you.
GIRL: But I'm in the MTV Generation!
J'ONN J'ONNZ: (Imiatating Santa) Well here's this copy of Brittney's newest CD she recorded. I'd say which one, but that would make the refrence more dated. I won't even say she's Brittney Spears, assuming you all know who I'm talking about.
GIRL: Thanks Santa!
J'ONN J'ONNZ: Just remember: That the truth path to happiness is not what goods and devices you own, but knowing that there is warmth and happiness in your soul and that you have a god that you can believe in. And that JL can get away with Big O type Hymm Singing.
SCENE: At The Bar, Green Lantern And Hawkgirl are fighting off random aliens.
GREEN LANTERN: I don't get it. This has nothing to do with Christmas at all. I think Bruce Timm just wanted to throw in a fight scene.
PAUL DINI: No this was my idea! I always wanted to do a bar scene, but never got the chance to do so in Freakazoid, and even though I kind of got one in Duck Dodgers, "Wrath Of Canasta" only wetted my appitete. And now I get to fill it with this.
GREEN LANTERN: So you actually did have a Christmas story planned out for us but instead fufilled your selfish wishes and did this on the spurr of a moment.
PAUL DINI: Actually, I couldn't think of anything else either.
HAWKGIRL: Come on John. Get in the spirit of the bar fight. Look at Paul (Paul Dini is getting smacked around by a rough looking group of aliens).
GREEN LANTERN: Great, this guy punched me out. Can we go now?
HAWKGIRL: How are we suppose to go anywhere if we are in a stasis of unconcuousness.
GREEN LANTERN: That logic makes sense, even though I hate it so.
SCENE: The Santa Flash and The Humanite Elf are giving the present to the kids.
FLASH: Here you go kids! You're overpriced, rapping cartoon duck that will become obsolete in a few months when they come out with the Truckin Roose The Moose Doll!
ULTRA HUMANITE: Yes, but that toy have the special added on story telling feature that I think is fairly classy.
FLASH: Yes, and it is better to have intellegent humor and sophisitaction then cheap sex or fart jokes/actions that make the masses laugh. Only true fools go for that sort of setup.
ULTRA HUMANITE: Speaking of Setup, here I am beign setup in this jail cell, which is a lot less nicer then the one I recieved in "Injustice For All".
FLASH: Maybe, but I added on this plastic christmas tree for a little extra flavor.
ULTRA HUMANITE: It's nice, but what do I do with it after christmas?
FLASH: Well, just spraypaint it black and I'll give it to John for Kwanzaa.
ULTRA HUMANITE: Ah yes, the holiday celebration for africian americans that has no religous basis and was made simply to give the colored community some special days they could look forward to that no one else could.
FLASH: Not to mention the fact that Kwanzza is essitantly Black Hanakuah. But you won't find that on any non-offensive T-Shirts. Anyway, remember after the holidays, I go back to hating you.
ULTRA HUMANITE: I know. But if I'm lucky I'll get just one appearence in Season Three, and they'll probably only have me as some throwaway villian.
FLASH: Glad you know the drill.
ULTRA HUMANITE: It's what I'm accustomed to, even though it pretty much is unfair and shows that the audience prefers braindead buffons and gimmicky adversary's then one's that actually prove and intellectual challenge.
FLASH: I know. Anyway, look at me stalk you a bit when you're in your cell. It's makes as much sense as anything that happen to John and Shayala.
SCENE: Speaking of Green Lantern and Hawkgirl, they are knocked out along with a group of aliens and Paul Dini. Hawkgirl wakes up and kisses GL as the "Awwwww" sign in the Auidence flickers on. We then move onto the Kent residence, where J'onn enlightens the family with some alien hymms while rubbing the household feline. The sun shines on the house as the credits pop up, and we see that the episode was being watched by Wonder Woman and Batman the entire time.
BATMAN: I would be fairly infuriated at the fact at being essitantly left out of the episode if not for the fact that I already have "Gotham Holiday Knights" under my belt, which is the superior episode.
WONDER WOMAN: Why is that? Is it because it has more emotional depth and far more enjoyable premises?
BATMAN: All I'm saying is, my holiday special didn't need a pointless bar fight to fill a few minutes of the show.
WONDER WOMAN: Good point. You think the auidence wants to hear of our adventures in combating some crooks and then finding some Christmas presents to give each other?
BATMAN: Nah, they would proabably want to post they're opinions and thoughts on why this work of creation far exceeds the average parody for it's sophistication and amount of time put into it.
(The camera then shifts to the words THE END).
So that's it eh?
"Yeah. A lot better then your shoddy works, I can tell you that right now."
I don't know. I gotta feeling Corrado's going to write in "Diana, why didn't you write this? Your insanity's peice wasn't really that funny at all, and made me wonder why I waited so long to just read that?"
"So you hurt my feelings with your words of cruelty and negative opinion?"
I'm sorry Insanity. I did think it was pretty good.
+I do felt that it was a very well written place. You did a very good job with it Samanatha.+
"Thanks Susan."
+I just hope someday that I as well will be able to entertain the wonderful people here with a humorous story that they will enjoy+
Don't worry Normalcy. You will someday. Anyway, that's it. All comments and criticisms go here. And to everyone.
Happy Holidays.