Barb Gordon
12-16-2003, 09:22 PM
Okay, I normally don't like to spill my whole life story, no matter how boring or intriguing, to a mass audience...but I just can't contain this and would really like to see some other viewpoints that may help me out a litte. So please endulge me by letting me rant a wee bit.
So to start off, this semester has been quite a whirlwind one. I had to take math and bio which I did miserably in, and had to deal with grieving a lot over my dad's passing earlier this year. I missed a lot more classes this semester than I normally ever would. I was very tired, sometimes being very alert and perectly fine, but then other times sleeping over 10 hours or just feeling so dead after school. My mom and I figured that I was just finally dealing with my dad's death and it was hurting me a lot physically. That was certainly some of it...but after a doctor's visit for a small lump on my neck two weeks ago, it turns out I had mono - and didn't even know it! So that explained why I felt so exhausted all the time, and was having an ugly time with this semester, I mean it was just such a ****** one I wanted to cry alot of the time. So all of that has come and gone and been dealt with.
In the midst of all this I was starting to get a crush on this guy I met through a friend. We had a lot in common, love costuming and stuff, and we've hung out alot with friends and a few times alone over the past three months. He's 23 (in another week), doesn't go to college, and has done drugs and partied hard in his past. He's not the brightest stick in the bunch and he's a bit of a goober. Despite all that he's very sweet and I was thinking I might try going out with him. I went out and asked him after a friend had done some poking around for me and stuff. The guy said no, though did mention that he found me attractive and that I was on the top of his list, because right now he didn't know what he was doing and where he was going. That's a smart move, I don't want to go out with someone that's totally lost. But some close friends had said that if he said no than he was a total idiot and didn't know what he was passing up. That if he didn't realize just how special I was, and even had to think about choosing me over someone else than he didn't deserve me.
I work at a jewelry store, and last Thursday we had our annual Christmas party. Our general manager is super nice and awesome, very religious as far as being very involved with the church and knowing like every single person in the county we live in and then some. The owner of our store wanted a bit more security for the Christmas season, and so he managed to get the general manager's youngest son (he's 22) to be our security guard for the next month. It's only for a month because the guy is leaving for the Navy to be in the medical field come he beginning of January. Well I got to hang around with him a little since we were both there helping out with the party. (He is so seriously attractive and hot) I also spent all day Saturday and Sunday working with him. n Sunday he asked me if I wanted to go out with him or something - one of the big malls in our area had a small outdoor ice rink set up for the holidays. So we did that after working all day Monday together. We went ice skating and checked out the shops, and got some ice cream at ColdStone's (god it was good!) because I'd never been to one before even though they're all over the place. We talked a lot, found out we had a lot in common. He loves cartoons too, we compared a slew of random cartoon shows that we all watch ranging from Recess to Rugrats to Batman to Gargoyles. He's also pretty literate, likes Shakespeare which thrilled me, and enjoys going to the movies. He's a great guy, adores his little dog and is close to his family. We held hands all last night, and when I was dropping him off at his house we stood for over ten minutes outside, even though it was freezing and windy, hugging and glancing at constellations. And then he kissed me. I'm 20, this is the first date I've ever been on, and it's the first kiss I've ever gotten. I still can't believe I've gotten one. It wasn't making out or french kissing, nothing like that, but it was a wee bit more than just a quick peck on the lips. It was weird, rather funny too, because I wasn't exactly sure what to do, and hell, I don't even know if it was good or not. But it felt very very nice.
I pride myself on being a well rounded young lady. I don't move fast, and I'd smack the heck out of any guy that tried to make a move on me or even think I might be a loose sort of girl. I've kept it at the front of my thoughts that this guy is going away in a month, and as my mom mentioned earlier - if a guy is getting shipped away in less than a month, he's going to want to get some.
I don't know if a nice kiss on the date is too fast or not, but I'm certainly not going farther than that no matter how awesome I think this guy is. I need to get to know him alot more even if he's leaving soon.
Well an hour or so ago a coworker called me on my cell. She'd just heard from the guy about our date last night. We hadn't told anyone, except his dad but that's cause he works with us, dur. It came about accidently but then she made him spill the beans on what we'd done, lol. She said he has a bit of a low self esteem and wasn't sure about how I felt about last night. He was a bit nervous wondering what I thought about him. I swear my coworker friend was giddy and grinning from ear to ear recounting what he'd said to her, like about me being unlike any girl he'd ever met, how he found me beautiful and intelligent and sophisticated. He was concerned, what with him leaving in a month, about whether I would agree or not if he asked me. My friend had assured him as I was a wonderful person and would most definitely agree. She was calling me to tell me what he'd said, and just to check out my general feelings about him compared to his own about me. I'm assuming that by "asking me" she means he wants to ask me to go steady, even though he'll be in Illinois for 6 months. If it's anything like engagement and something, than he is very bizarre - despite what I feel towards him that goes against my feelings and better judgements entirely because I still don't know him as well as I should.
The best thing to do in the short time we have is to go out with him more and get to know him better. I already am very enamored with him, and am utterly estatic that such a good looking, intelligent and sweet young man would feel this way towards me. On the one hand, he could be a sleaze trying to move fast on me. I have that in mind, but with knowing his father and the kind of upbringing this guy has gotten, he would be such a disgrace to be a person like that. Plus I know my brother in law, the guy's father, and the two older guys at my work would so seriously rip him apart from limb to limb if he hurt me in anyway possible. These men watch over me like a hawk, and most if not all of them have been very protective of me like mini father figures now that my dad is gone. So that leaves the other side, that this guy is very cool, we like each other a whole lot, and it's just bad timing that we finally met each other with him going off a few weeks afterwards.
This entire situation has been thrown my direction so fast, my head is still spinning. I was still trying to determine whether my feelings towards the first guy and his less than desired lifestyle was a crush or not (regardless I do consider him a very dear friend) when I met this second guy. And now all of this has come rushing forward with this new guy.
What to do is the big question. Overall I know I just simply need to get to know him better. We've already connected on many different levels which is the best. And if he truly is a nice sweet guy, than I'm on a cloud nine. But what if he asks me to go serious with him, to go steady and be his girlfriend even though he'll be away? I so strongly desire to say yes so very very badly. Taking the time to figure him out more is the only thing keeping me at bay.
So....there, I've spilled my guts. Sorry for the overly long post. Thoughts, if any?
~Barb
So to start off, this semester has been quite a whirlwind one. I had to take math and bio which I did miserably in, and had to deal with grieving a lot over my dad's passing earlier this year. I missed a lot more classes this semester than I normally ever would. I was very tired, sometimes being very alert and perectly fine, but then other times sleeping over 10 hours or just feeling so dead after school. My mom and I figured that I was just finally dealing with my dad's death and it was hurting me a lot physically. That was certainly some of it...but after a doctor's visit for a small lump on my neck two weeks ago, it turns out I had mono - and didn't even know it! So that explained why I felt so exhausted all the time, and was having an ugly time with this semester, I mean it was just such a ****** one I wanted to cry alot of the time. So all of that has come and gone and been dealt with.
In the midst of all this I was starting to get a crush on this guy I met through a friend. We had a lot in common, love costuming and stuff, and we've hung out alot with friends and a few times alone over the past three months. He's 23 (in another week), doesn't go to college, and has done drugs and partied hard in his past. He's not the brightest stick in the bunch and he's a bit of a goober. Despite all that he's very sweet and I was thinking I might try going out with him. I went out and asked him after a friend had done some poking around for me and stuff. The guy said no, though did mention that he found me attractive and that I was on the top of his list, because right now he didn't know what he was doing and where he was going. That's a smart move, I don't want to go out with someone that's totally lost. But some close friends had said that if he said no than he was a total idiot and didn't know what he was passing up. That if he didn't realize just how special I was, and even had to think about choosing me over someone else than he didn't deserve me.
I work at a jewelry store, and last Thursday we had our annual Christmas party. Our general manager is super nice and awesome, very religious as far as being very involved with the church and knowing like every single person in the county we live in and then some. The owner of our store wanted a bit more security for the Christmas season, and so he managed to get the general manager's youngest son (he's 22) to be our security guard for the next month. It's only for a month because the guy is leaving for the Navy to be in the medical field come he beginning of January. Well I got to hang around with him a little since we were both there helping out with the party. (He is so seriously attractive and hot) I also spent all day Saturday and Sunday working with him. n Sunday he asked me if I wanted to go out with him or something - one of the big malls in our area had a small outdoor ice rink set up for the holidays. So we did that after working all day Monday together. We went ice skating and checked out the shops, and got some ice cream at ColdStone's (god it was good!) because I'd never been to one before even though they're all over the place. We talked a lot, found out we had a lot in common. He loves cartoons too, we compared a slew of random cartoon shows that we all watch ranging from Recess to Rugrats to Batman to Gargoyles. He's also pretty literate, likes Shakespeare which thrilled me, and enjoys going to the movies. He's a great guy, adores his little dog and is close to his family. We held hands all last night, and when I was dropping him off at his house we stood for over ten minutes outside, even though it was freezing and windy, hugging and glancing at constellations. And then he kissed me. I'm 20, this is the first date I've ever been on, and it's the first kiss I've ever gotten. I still can't believe I've gotten one. It wasn't making out or french kissing, nothing like that, but it was a wee bit more than just a quick peck on the lips. It was weird, rather funny too, because I wasn't exactly sure what to do, and hell, I don't even know if it was good or not. But it felt very very nice.
I pride myself on being a well rounded young lady. I don't move fast, and I'd smack the heck out of any guy that tried to make a move on me or even think I might be a loose sort of girl. I've kept it at the front of my thoughts that this guy is going away in a month, and as my mom mentioned earlier - if a guy is getting shipped away in less than a month, he's going to want to get some.
I don't know if a nice kiss on the date is too fast or not, but I'm certainly not going farther than that no matter how awesome I think this guy is. I need to get to know him alot more even if he's leaving soon.
Well an hour or so ago a coworker called me on my cell. She'd just heard from the guy about our date last night. We hadn't told anyone, except his dad but that's cause he works with us, dur. It came about accidently but then she made him spill the beans on what we'd done, lol. She said he has a bit of a low self esteem and wasn't sure about how I felt about last night. He was a bit nervous wondering what I thought about him. I swear my coworker friend was giddy and grinning from ear to ear recounting what he'd said to her, like about me being unlike any girl he'd ever met, how he found me beautiful and intelligent and sophisticated. He was concerned, what with him leaving in a month, about whether I would agree or not if he asked me. My friend had assured him as I was a wonderful person and would most definitely agree. She was calling me to tell me what he'd said, and just to check out my general feelings about him compared to his own about me. I'm assuming that by "asking me" she means he wants to ask me to go steady, even though he'll be in Illinois for 6 months. If it's anything like engagement and something, than he is very bizarre - despite what I feel towards him that goes against my feelings and better judgements entirely because I still don't know him as well as I should.
The best thing to do in the short time we have is to go out with him more and get to know him better. I already am very enamored with him, and am utterly estatic that such a good looking, intelligent and sweet young man would feel this way towards me. On the one hand, he could be a sleaze trying to move fast on me. I have that in mind, but with knowing his father and the kind of upbringing this guy has gotten, he would be such a disgrace to be a person like that. Plus I know my brother in law, the guy's father, and the two older guys at my work would so seriously rip him apart from limb to limb if he hurt me in anyway possible. These men watch over me like a hawk, and most if not all of them have been very protective of me like mini father figures now that my dad is gone. So that leaves the other side, that this guy is very cool, we like each other a whole lot, and it's just bad timing that we finally met each other with him going off a few weeks afterwards.
This entire situation has been thrown my direction so fast, my head is still spinning. I was still trying to determine whether my feelings towards the first guy and his less than desired lifestyle was a crush or not (regardless I do consider him a very dear friend) when I met this second guy. And now all of this has come rushing forward with this new guy.
What to do is the big question. Overall I know I just simply need to get to know him better. We've already connected on many different levels which is the best. And if he truly is a nice sweet guy, than I'm on a cloud nine. But what if he asks me to go serious with him, to go steady and be his girlfriend even though he'll be away? I so strongly desire to say yes so very very badly. Taking the time to figure him out more is the only thing keeping me at bay.
So....there, I've spilled my guts. Sorry for the overly long post. Thoughts, if any?
~Barb