Is this rude?

[BLACKHEART]

I was having a discussion with someone and they did not agree with me. I know let’s murder them!! ;) No silly we can't really do that. :p Anyway here is the question. Do you think it is rude to show up at someone’s apartment without calling first? Furthermore do you find it rude for this guy to have rung the bell and not be let up, only to find his way into the apartment and beat on the apartment door till someone answered it? What do you think? Is it rude to show up unexpectedly?

[DianaGohan]

I would say it's rude to show up at someone's appartment without inviting yourself in unless you have some dire reason for coming in or the person dosen't mind that you do so. Otherwise, no.

[Jade_GL]

I think it is, mainly because I don't tend to operate that way. I would much rather call first and get permission. What if someone is in the shower? Or studying? Or with their boyfriend/girlfriend and don't want to be bothered? I would rather take the time to check first before I stop by.

And banging on the door like that sounds psycho to me. It may not have been, but if a friend did that to me, I would be a little freaked out by it. I mean, sometimes people want to be alone, what's wrong with that? Or they already are entertaining and don't want to be bothered by another person.

I just would rather make sure the person wnats me there first, because being there when I am not expected or wanted is silly to me.

[BLACKHEART]

The person in question after not getting a responce to the door buzzer went around and checked for my car and then found his way in with a couple other people and was like, "I saw your car was there so I knew you had to be home."

[RogueMartian]

Where I'm from plans are never made and calling ahead just isn't done. People show up at my house at all hours. I can expect one friend usually to pop over around dusk and another to pop by around 3 am. On weekends new people arrive. I don't even know how the calling ahead thing would even work.

[Jade_GL]

It's to check and see if someone is in. Like "Hey, what's up? Doing anything? Wanna hang?"

It's not that hard, and it's polite too. I understand just dropping in, but I did that more in high school, but then I realized that sometimes people are busy with other things and don't need guests getting in the way. It's so much easier to pop in depending on what kind of group you run with and what age you are.

Now I would rather make sure because I don't want people just showing up at my house. I may be cleaning, watching a movie, talking on the phone, and someone just stopping by can really ruin it if you're trying to do stuff. With me, I lived with my BF this year, so my time was precious to me with working and chores. I wanted to spend that time with my BF, but if a person just showed up, that would irk me. If they called or we called, that's cool, but unannounced? That's just not something I do anymore.

[Barb Gordon]

Depends on the relationship with the person. My dad used to drop in all the time on two of his friends. But he always did that, with us in tow some of the time, but that was his nature with these two friends. He'd done that all the time since he'd known them. He was welcome whenever, so he came whenever. But we also did many things with these people, so we were all very close. But there are other people we know who we'd never do that with because they're not the kind of people that like people coming over unexpectedly. So a guy coming over randomly isn't all that rude to me. But finding his way up without being let in does seem quite rude to me. If he rang the bell and no one let him up, then obviously they don't want company. And to sneak up and bang on the door isn't friendly at all, I'd call that annoying and definitely rude behavior.

~Barb

[Ben]

In France it's considered incredibly, incredibly rude. In the US though I was under the impression that people don't have a problem with just dropping by with a jello mold. Of course, if the guy doesn't come to the door you just go home, not snoop around.

[jeffrey 228]

Well, I'd have to say yes, I know I don't have many friends around my area, but it is best to eaither leave then an Email, IM, or just calling would really be important, since it can also be a law in some states that if you beat on thier door, it is some sort of invasion of privicy, and I know I would never go and do that.

[Lucky Bob]

It's very common where I come from in the States. Usually, in the rural areas, everyone is either kin to ya', ore went to school with your parents. So, it's very customary for someone to just drop in for a few minutes, talk a while, and leave.

Keep in mind that cable TV didn't really get a grip on Alabama until fairly recently.

[Elven Moon]

Even though my friends tell me I can pop up whenever I need to, I don't feel comfortable with that. I want them to know I'm coming first, mostly.

[Lu775]

Very rude. I pretty much won't answer the door unless I'm expecting someone.
(Because how many times have I got stuck answering the door, only to be confronted by someone selling something/ raising money for something/ offering free estimate and other annoying and/or creepy situations?)
Call first. Then I'll answer.

[The Falcon]

i'd only consider it rude if it was the middle of the night or something. casually going up to somebody's door and knocking is basically the same thing as calling them or sending an email. they just want to say hi. just because they are knocking on your door doesn't mean you have to let them in either. just call the cops and they can go spend a night in jail for attempted forceful entry ;)

Falcon

[Joe Mama]

i'd only consider it rude if it was the middle of the night or something. casually going up to somebody's door and knocking is basically the same thing as calling them or sending an email. they just want to say hi. just because they are knocking on your door doesn't mean you have to let them in either. just call the cops and they can go spend a night in jail for attempted forceful entry ;)

FalconYeah, that's the way I'd only find it rude too. Lot's of people come over my house uninvited, but it doesn't bother us one bit.

[Speedy Boris]

I HATE it when people show up unannounced, because usually they pop some unexpected "plans" on me and I hate making spur-of-the-moment decisions.

[Conekiller]

It depends on the situation (which they would be unnaware of because they did not call in advance)

Usually I don't have anything pressing, so a surprise visit (which rarely happens) would be a pleasent surprise.

But If I have something planned, it is quite annoying to have someone show up and expect to chill for a while when you have to, say leave for work in a half hour, or go pick my brothers up from school. This has happened to my mom on many occasions, she is very busy during the day and has had her schedule completely halted by a friend who just popps up and wants to stick around. my mom, being the polite woman that she is, invites her friend in and serves coffe and snacks and whatever, but inside she's boiling knowing that her plans have been shot to hell and she'll be in a mad dash for the rest of the day.

so on one hand, it's noce to knwo someone was "just thinking about wou" and wanted to spend some time, but on the other hand it's quite rude whne you don't know if the person is preparred to entertain guests.

[BLACKHEART]

What if I was about to entertain a member of the opposite sex and this person just dropped in? And wouldn't go away? I think it's safe to say you need to call ahead and make sure your friend wants to hang out with you or whatever.

[The Falcon]

What if I was about to entertain a member of the opposite sex and this person just dropped in? And wouldn't go away? I think it's safe to say you need to call ahead and make sure your friend wants to hang out with you or whatever.
well, if your friend won't leave while you're juggling flaming bowling pins, then they aren't really a friend are they? they should understand that juggling 3-5 flaming bowling pins is really dangerous

Falcon

[BLACKHEART]

Not what I had in mind, but sure. ;)