An unforseen relationship prob pops up...HELP! o_o!

[ZorBrak]

Okay. I know I whine about girls a lot. But this is different. See a good friend of mine has liked this girl for like at least a year. I've known of her forever but never knew her until recently. Now I think she likes me and I don't know how to evade her without like hurting her. I want to be friends with her, and I don't want to lose my friendship with the dude who likes her. I am not going to date her. I can't do that to my friend. Here Iwhine about girls, one falls in my lap, and I have to let her go. I've accepted that but...AGGGGGH! Help >_<...and please, to my Live Journal friends....PLEASE! don't even bring this up there....she reads my LJ. Thanks. Um....Ack? :confused:

[The Falcon]

whenever she's around you, downplay yourself and play-up your friend

example:
"i stink like manure, but my friend smells like a garden of roses"

Falcon

[ZorBrak]

That's the thing. She's already told him that he's "not her type". But I'd really be hurting him..and there's someone else I'm kinda involved with right now, or at least I'm gettin there. So I gotta just think of how to let this girl down easy without hurting her. The not so subtle requests of my number, the "I'm suprised you're single"s...:sigh: I mean I'm flattered but...I just can't go out with her. I want to be her friend though because she's cool as hell....ugh I hate this. I go from whining about love to being in a stupid Triangle...or not really I triangle. I guess it's like a train. Everyone is liking somone else...well except the girl thatI actually want to date, I think she likes me too. So maybe it is a triangle. Well between me and the two girls. But my friend is a big factor and I will NOT stab him in the back. Stupid Triangles. I'm going to hate that shape by the end of this month.

[Weatherman]

First off I would say talk to your friend, the one who likes the first girl. Whatever you're going to do it would be a good idea to consult with him as he obviously cares about the girl, even if she won't date him.

Seccondly, firm up your situation with the other girl, the one you like. Once those two steps are done the thrid one will be really easy.

[Psilon]

To quote Homer.

"Three simple words: I am gay"

[Joe Mama]

I don't know how this thing will work out. Your friend likes a girl, that likes you. She doesn't like him, but you don't want to hurt him OR her. This is obviously a lose lose situation. http://forums.toonzone.net/images/smilies/confused.gif

[Leaping Larry Jojo]

Lose the dame. Honour is more important than a cheap fling.

[ZorBrak]

She's really pressuring me to do something now. She's dropping so many hints that it makes me look like a dumb ass to act naive to them. Either I'm misinterpreting big time or she definitely likes me...and that's only going to cause problems right now.

and she magically ended tonight's LJ (which she knows I read) like this

"And before I go to bed I must leave you with this question...

Why are guys so oblivious... (or act like it) "


my friend just IM'd me and told me something making this even more frustrating. I don't want to get into what he said specifically for certain reasons...but it's really getting to a breaking point now. I gotta confront them both. can't play dumb anymore. And I gotta make a decision on what I'm going to tell both of them. GOD THIS SUCKS!

[ZorBrak]

DAMMIT.
Chris was right. I'm a white him. This will be my own personal "danielle". I'm now going out with her apparently. I suck.

[Terminatah]

Bros before hoes.

-Terminatah

[ZorBrak]

Bros before hoes.

-Terminatah


I know. I've told her. We're all going to hang out as a group first. I'm not going to do anything that would hurt him.

[Lu775]

I know. I've told her. We're all going to hang out as a group first. I'm not going to do anything that would hurt him.

Uh, you could just tell her flat out, that you're not interested in dating her, because you know it would hurt your friend, and your friendship with him is more important than a relationship with her.
I know it sounds crazy, but sometimes honesty is the best policy.

[The Falcon]

actually, that's what i would do to. zorbrak, if you truly have no romantic feelings towards her, just tell her flat out "i don't like you like that". she'll get the message. it sounds to me like your friend is more important to you than she is

Falcon

[ZorBrak]

I...uh I don't know. I guess I never mentioned I like her too...and I've changed my mind about her. I was going to try to ignore her hints...but the other night after I started this thread she told me upfront how she felt. And I told her how I felt. I mean....I'm going to take it slowly. But why should we ignore our feelings just because someone can't move on? He's my friend but...it's been a looong time since he found out she's not interested.

[The Falcon]

I...uh I don't know. I guess I never mentioned I like her too...and I've changed my mind about her. I was going to try to ignore her hints...but the other night after I started this thread she told me upfront how she felt. And I told her how I felt. I mean....I'm going to take it slowly. But why should we ignore our feelings just because someone can't move on? He's my friend but...it's been a looong time since he found out she's not interested.
oy vey! you ask our advice and then you go do this. well, i hope you two, three, four, etc. are happy together.

Falcon

[ZorBrak]

Lol I know...I suck. But...we really like each other a lot and I thought about it. It's just not fair for him to stop something good for us just because he still clings to her. Now me, someone rejects me then I don't give a crap about them after that, but he's more clingy. He might understand though. I'm definitely oing to talk with him about it first. I'm not going to go "too bad, tough" or anything.

[The Falcon]

Lol I know...I suck. But...we really like each other a lot and I thought about it. It's just not fair for him to stop something good for us just because he still clings to her. Now me, someone rejects me then I don't give a crap about them after that, but he's more clingy. He might understand though. I'm definitely oing to talk with him about it first. I'm not going to go "too bad, tough" or anything.
i still think this was a bad idea, bro. a long lasting friendship is better than a dame any day. if your pal is "clingy", he's not going to take this lightly. don't expect him to go "ahh, just go have fun with her". he's probably going to end up hating you for quite some time. i know from personal experience

Falcon

[Leaping Larry Jojo]

You can't have your cake and eat it too...

(Actually, you can. That's why you buy cake, to eat it. Who came up with this stupid expression anyway???)

[ZorBrak]

You can't have your cake and eat it too...

(Actually, you can. That's why you buy cake, to eat it. Who came up with this stupid expression anyway???)


I've always wodered that. I agree it's a retarded saying. About the whole thing....I'm going to talk openly to both of them...we'll work this out.

[Lu775]

Well, it's kinda too late now, but if I had known you were interested in her then my advice would have been, tell your friend before you start anything with the girl. Or at least make sure he hear's it from you before he finds out from someone else.

[Terminatah]

You can't have your cake and eat it too...

(Actually, you can. That's why you buy cake, to eat it. Who came up with this stupid expression anyway???)I don't know if you're just trying to be cute, but this expression refers to the incredible thrill of anticipation, which itself rivals the joy of actually eating the cake. Incidentally, it doesn't apply here.

-Terminatah

[supermonkey]

I remember I was in this situation once, only my best friend went out with an on/off again g/f (I was on the receiving end) That loser is somewhere working in Home Depot now. Sadly that makes me feel good. I've never seen guys get over a chick who gets in the way.

And she doesn't really care at all about you or she wouldn't be doing this in the first place. She's probably just having fun at both of your expense since she knows it won't last now with either one of you. I say to her she's not your type but you really like her best friend and ask her to introduce you. lol.

[ZorBrak]

And she doesn't really care at all about you or she wouldn't be doing this in the first place. She's probably just having fun at both of your expense since she knows it won't last now with either one of you. I say to her she's not your type but you really like her best friend and ask her to introduce you. lol.

Uh.....riiiiiiight. :confused:

[Leaping Larry Jojo]

I don't know if you're just trying to be cute, but this expression refers to the incredible thrill of anticipation, which itself rivals the joy of actually eating the cake. Incidentally, it doesn't apply here.

-Terminatah

Now I don't know if *you're* joking. This expression refers to a sort of greed, trying to have 2 things when you can only have one. Say, a man who cheats on his wife, but doesn't want to divorce his wife, or doesn't want his wife to cheat on HIM, either. Basically, another way of saying it is, "You can't have it both ways." That's trying to have your cake and eat it too to my knowledge.

As far as I know, that is how most people have always used this expression.

Can anyone else add anything to this?

[Terminatah]

Now I don't know if *you're* joking. This expression refers to a sort of greed, trying to have 2 things when you can only have one. Say, a man who cheats on his wife, but doesn't want to divorce his wife, or doesn't want his wife to cheat on HIM, either. Basically, another way of saying it is, "You can't have it both ways." That's trying to have your cake and eat it too to my knowledge.

As far as I know, that is how most people have always used this expression.

Can anyone else add anything to this?According to various sources, it seems "You can't have your cake and eat it too" means that one can't use something up and still have it to enjoy. Its earliest recorded definition is found in a book of proverbs by John Heywood in the 1500s. So like I said, the thrill of anticipation vs. the act of actually eating the thing.

-Terminatah

[sKorpia]

one can't use something up and still have it to enjoy

This sounds like "You can't have it both ways" though. The pleasure of having cake comes either from the knowledge that you have cake to eat or from the actual eating of the cake. When you hold the cake in hand, you aren't experience the pleasure of eating it. As you eat the cake, you can savor its fluffy goodness but afterwards . . . it is gone.

It's like having a mint condition toy. Either you 1) keep it in mint condition, enjoy the fact that it is "mint" but never play with it OR 2) take it out of the box, have hours of fun playing with it and know that forevermore that toy is not mint.

This is ultimately about trade-offs. And now we're back on-topic!!

Anyway, to quote Bartok the Bat: "This can only end in tears."

[ZorBrak]

This is so dumb. Someone spread some BS about me and her and told DJ. So then he got all depressed because obviously we never even got a chance to tell him. I got his story straight but now she's not talking to me. I HATE YOU CHRIS MORRISON. (It's okay though because I'm got some information his girlfriend might like to know about his faithfullness...ahhh I'm so good at revenge.) You ruin my love life I'll destroy yours Chris. The end.

[ZorBrak]

Yay she's talking to me. This just may end up being a lose situation only for him. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

[Leaping Larry Jojo]

Zor, you're starting to sound like Skarr's life.

[ZorBrak]

Hahaha. NO. I just had a misunderstanding and now everything is solved. Think what you want but that's just retarded.

[Outlander00]

Ugh.. You know, ZorBrak, You should pay me for all the advice I give you :p

I am glad things worked out, sort of... It just sounds like a big mess... A soap opera in the making, like the next Dawsons Creek.

Talk to him at least and apologize, cause you knew he liked this girl and your his friend... clingy or not.

Women can be hell! :evil:

*runs as all the women chase him with various sized weapons*

ack! I meant cute... CUTE!! :sweat: :D

[The Falcon]

Ugh.. You know, ZorBrak, You should pay me for all the advice I give you :p

I am glad things worked out, sort of... It just sounds like a big mess... A soap opera in the making, like the next Dawsons Creek.

Talk to him at least and apologize, cause you knew he liked this girl and your his friend... clingy or not.

Women can be hell! :evil:

*runs as all the women chase him with various sized weapons*

ack! I meant cute... CUTE!! :sweat: :D
ugh...i don't know. i thought this was a horrible decision on zorbrak's part. whatever happened to that girl who wouldn't find you interesting because you bashed up your face? and now you go and dis your friend by taking the girl he was interested in? sorry, zorbrak, but i lost faith in you

Falcon

[ZorBrak]

ugh...i don't know. i thought this was a horrible decision on zorbrak's part. whatever happened to that girl who wouldn't find you interesting because you bashed up your face? and now you go and dis your friend by taking the girl he was interested in? sorry, zorbrak, but i lost faith in you

Falcon


I am talking to the first girl you mentioned...that looks like it might turn into something. Espeically after today. I wasn't stealing anyone from him with this other girl. She didn't want to date him, he knew that a year ago. His inability to move on can only hold me back so much when he likes everygirl I do half the time. But we broke off whatever could have happened anyways after this rumor.