Keeper
07-03-2003, 03:58 PM
Perhaps somebody already did this, but what the heck. I've been known in the past for being able to read things on small screens in sci-fi shows and on objects in Animaniacs (one model designer was amazed that I was able to read the text he'd put on an object), so it just seemed appropriate that I write down the text in the newspaper from the Powerpuff Girls Movie. Besides that, I'm the kind of fool who will go frame by frame to read the stuff anyway. I even backmasked the end credits of The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy so I could hear what he says at the end ("No, no, this is the END of the show.You're watching it backwards!"), and even ran the video and audio both backwards for certain scenes in the "Backwards" episode of Red Dwarf...
so... here's what I got for this one:
-------------
[3 July 2003]
I couldn't read most of the bylines. Some of these unreadable words, denoted by "(???)" at an approximate word length, probably would have been readable if I still had my 19-inch monitor. More text would have been readable if the DVD were released with the correct aspect ratio. Of course, a proper DVD would have included the entire model in nice high-resolution images as part of a "production art" section.
==========
FREAKY BUG-EYED WEIRDO GIRLS BROKE EVERYTHING
"I seen these freaky, bug-eyed girls just a flyin' and a smashin' through everything -- buildings, cars, bridges. It was awful, just awful..." sobbed local resident Buck Fang, who witnessed the horrifying destruction from the window of his orthodontist.
Townsville's civic leader, The Mayor, struggled to contain his anger at an evening press conference.
"Kids these days, they're the worst!" he proclaimed heatedly, shaking his finger in the air. "Lack of discipline! [cut off from here]
---------
THE GORILLAZ SET TO HEADLINE TOWNSVILLE MUSIC FEST
On Thursday, the Townsville city council agreed to grant a permit for (???) Productions to hold a daylong music festival at the Townsville City auditorium.
[rest of column is unreadable]
[second column]
would pay for the rebuilding of the auditorium, and then some.
As for Mayor's words regarding the band as representing "decent behavior", a spokesman for the band said simply, "Mayor is an inaccurate observer." He also revealed the band's jovial anticipation at their meeting with the (????????) children.
An official statement from Mayor's office denies all allegations of "backroom deals" [finger in the way] his claim that he [finger in the way] "tight" and that [finger in the way] the band. Of [finger in the way] seems like [finger in the way] he offered [finger in the way] (??????????) and (?????) "They're all good" under his breath before hurriedly exiting the room.
Tickets go on sale this Saturday at 10 am at all Ticket Thief [cut off from here]
---------
STOCK MARKET CRASH DUE TO CHROME BALL
Trading has been suspended at the Townsville Stock Exchange, as the chrome sphere atop the Olive Corporation building rolled into the lobby, decimating the entire exchange and sending the staff fleeing into the streets, where they were attacked by rampaging apes from the Townsville Zoo.
The exchange is expected to re-open Monday at its new temporary headquarters, McCracken's Hardware on East Palm Street. McCracken's stock is expected to soar during the first few hours of trading, as brooms, shovels, and wheelbarrows are in short supply due to the massive cleanup effort currently under way.
Addressing the possible conflict of interest in moving the exchange to his hardware store, owner Crack McCracken [sic] commented, "So? You gonna do something about it? Hey, do you need a wheelbarrow?" Also mentioned was a half-price sale on work gloves and goggles.
Data on Tuesday's closing prices are currently unavailable; the only remaining hardcopy of stock exchange data is believed to have been swept away with the ball, and is yet to be found.
---------
DEAR DONNA,
BY DONNA CASTRICONE
Dear Donna,
I am faced with the difficult prospect of completing an entire animated feature in less than six months, when the original schedule was thirty-six weeks. The stress is becoming unbearable -- what should I do?
N2-Deep
Dear N2-Deep,
I recommend quitting the industry altogether and moving somewhere like Rhode Island.
Dear Donna,
I want to take issue with your statement that "little boys are made of snakes, and snails, and puppy dog tails." I mean, come on! If this were true, then how come I don't see a lot of tailless dogs running around?
You're really not as smart as you think you are.
Dave (Scarpieri?)
Dear Dave,
It was not meant to be taken literally.
Dear Donna,
I bought this cereal and it was described, and I quote, as "Whimsically Delicious." Now, let me tell you, it was anything but whimsically delicious. Whimsically Puke-inducing would be more apt. How are advertisers allowed to make such blatant false claims?
Stephanie (Booth?)
Dear Stephanie,
I think that it is a subjective description. You may not have liked the cereal, but probably someone found it whimsically delicious and hence the [cut off] company used that [cut off] commercial [cut off]
-----------
SPORTS
TOWNSVILLE SHARKS BEAT[cut of]
SPRINGFIELD YELLOW[cut off]
[article, and rest of headline, is seen only from a long distance in Mojo Jojo's hands,
and as such is not readable]
============
If you can make out any more of the text, let's add it! If you were the model designer and/or actually wrote the text, well, that would be even better...
keeper@cruzio.com
AIM "Keeper 1st"
so... here's what I got for this one:
-------------
[3 July 2003]
I couldn't read most of the bylines. Some of these unreadable words, denoted by "(???)" at an approximate word length, probably would have been readable if I still had my 19-inch monitor. More text would have been readable if the DVD were released with the correct aspect ratio. Of course, a proper DVD would have included the entire model in nice high-resolution images as part of a "production art" section.
==========
FREAKY BUG-EYED WEIRDO GIRLS BROKE EVERYTHING
"I seen these freaky, bug-eyed girls just a flyin' and a smashin' through everything -- buildings, cars, bridges. It was awful, just awful..." sobbed local resident Buck Fang, who witnessed the horrifying destruction from the window of his orthodontist.
Townsville's civic leader, The Mayor, struggled to contain his anger at an evening press conference.
"Kids these days, they're the worst!" he proclaimed heatedly, shaking his finger in the air. "Lack of discipline! [cut off from here]
---------
THE GORILLAZ SET TO HEADLINE TOWNSVILLE MUSIC FEST
On Thursday, the Townsville city council agreed to grant a permit for (???) Productions to hold a daylong music festival at the Townsville City auditorium.
[rest of column is unreadable]
[second column]
would pay for the rebuilding of the auditorium, and then some.
As for Mayor's words regarding the band as representing "decent behavior", a spokesman for the band said simply, "Mayor is an inaccurate observer." He also revealed the band's jovial anticipation at their meeting with the (????????) children.
An official statement from Mayor's office denies all allegations of "backroom deals" [finger in the way] his claim that he [finger in the way] "tight" and that [finger in the way] the band. Of [finger in the way] seems like [finger in the way] he offered [finger in the way] (??????????) and (?????) "They're all good" under his breath before hurriedly exiting the room.
Tickets go on sale this Saturday at 10 am at all Ticket Thief [cut off from here]
---------
STOCK MARKET CRASH DUE TO CHROME BALL
Trading has been suspended at the Townsville Stock Exchange, as the chrome sphere atop the Olive Corporation building rolled into the lobby, decimating the entire exchange and sending the staff fleeing into the streets, where they were attacked by rampaging apes from the Townsville Zoo.
The exchange is expected to re-open Monday at its new temporary headquarters, McCracken's Hardware on East Palm Street. McCracken's stock is expected to soar during the first few hours of trading, as brooms, shovels, and wheelbarrows are in short supply due to the massive cleanup effort currently under way.
Addressing the possible conflict of interest in moving the exchange to his hardware store, owner Crack McCracken [sic] commented, "So? You gonna do something about it? Hey, do you need a wheelbarrow?" Also mentioned was a half-price sale on work gloves and goggles.
Data on Tuesday's closing prices are currently unavailable; the only remaining hardcopy of stock exchange data is believed to have been swept away with the ball, and is yet to be found.
---------
DEAR DONNA,
BY DONNA CASTRICONE
Dear Donna,
I am faced with the difficult prospect of completing an entire animated feature in less than six months, when the original schedule was thirty-six weeks. The stress is becoming unbearable -- what should I do?
N2-Deep
Dear N2-Deep,
I recommend quitting the industry altogether and moving somewhere like Rhode Island.
Dear Donna,
I want to take issue with your statement that "little boys are made of snakes, and snails, and puppy dog tails." I mean, come on! If this were true, then how come I don't see a lot of tailless dogs running around?
You're really not as smart as you think you are.
Dave (Scarpieri?)
Dear Dave,
It was not meant to be taken literally.
Dear Donna,
I bought this cereal and it was described, and I quote, as "Whimsically Delicious." Now, let me tell you, it was anything but whimsically delicious. Whimsically Puke-inducing would be more apt. How are advertisers allowed to make such blatant false claims?
Stephanie (Booth?)
Dear Stephanie,
I think that it is a subjective description. You may not have liked the cereal, but probably someone found it whimsically delicious and hence the [cut off] company used that [cut off] commercial [cut off]
-----------
SPORTS
TOWNSVILLE SHARKS BEAT[cut of]
SPRINGFIELD YELLOW[cut off]
[article, and rest of headline, is seen only from a long distance in Mojo Jojo's hands,
and as such is not readable]
============
If you can make out any more of the text, let's add it! If you were the model designer and/or actually wrote the text, well, that would be even better...
keeper@cruzio.com
AIM "Keeper 1st"