The Internet and Love

[Barb Gordon]

Do you think it's possible to meet the love of your life, (or best friend even) via online? Is it so much different from a blind date, meeting someone in line, being introduced by way of a friend? It seems more and more that meeting online is becoming quite the norm, and that a good many people have found others that make them very happy.

~Barb

[TimTwoFace]

I totally think you can, provided that you and the other person are open and honest enough with each other. I've made many great friends over the internet throughout the past six years - many of whom hang out here, actually. I'll get back to you about the romantic aspect of things, though. :eek:

-Tim

[EinBebop]

The love of my life is the Internet. :knd1:

[cross blues]

I wouldn't advise it because there aren't many people you can trust (outside the confines of TZ of course), but I think it's possible to find love online. I don't think you can find THE one because I don't think there is only one person you could love, but instead many possible people.... so I'll keep this simple instead of boring everyone to death with my ramblings. I think you can meet a love or a friend online, but you have to realize most people aren't as honest as you are and probably at least half the time, you are being lied to.

I got close to a girl on the net before, too bad she lives in S. Korea so there is no chance of ever meeting her. It seems strange how that happens with absolutely no physical attraction. Maybe the perception of what a person could be is more exciting than what the person actually is.

Ok ok so my shortest answer possible: you can, but it's probably not much better than trying to pick up a date at a bar or a dance club. There are just too many freaks and liars out there.

[James]

Originally posted by prozzak

Ok ok so my shortest answer possible: you can, but it's probably not much better than trying to pick up a date at a bar or a dance club. There are just too many freaks and liars out there.

I think that's true. Especially the last point. When do we ever know anyone? People make that point against the Internet - 'You don't know them...' - but when do you know anyone? If you did, we wouldn't see people in abusive relationships. Life can be risky when you deal with people anywhere - not just on the net.

There are pros and cons. Internet relationships can be hard. Some say it's an easy relationship. I don't think so. It requires faith and understanding in each other. It requires you both to be on a similar wavelength.

I think the benefit to online relationships is you get to care for the other person devoid of the effects of physical sexual chemistry, that wonderful chemical energy that can make you think that person is perfect for you when it's just your bodies giving out signals. Online, you get to know the person for who they are first and it makes meeting them that ever so special. Ever moment becomes special.

I've never been in an online relationship before - I am however very happy I have done so now. I wasn't looking for it - and it just fell upon me - but I don't look back.

Online relatioships are a new thing. They are not like people falling in love with penfriends. I speak to Barb everyday - I speak to her more than my neighbours or flatmates. These are unchartered territories where the rules are yet to be truely defined.

I think whether a online relationship works on not is dependant on the people - not the nature of communication. Like all long distance relationships, you have to be strong people. If you are weak, impatient or easily distracted, it's a no go. You have to be deicated, flexible and to a certain degree, very similar to each other. Like all relationships, if the characters gel, and you are both strong in heart, you can make it through anything. I think that in itself is something to be proud of.

*Gives his special someone the biggest cuddle imaginable* :p

[ButteredToast]

Originally posted by Barb Gordon
Do you think it's possible to meet the love of your life, (or best friend even) via online? Is it so much different from a blind date, meeting someone in line, being introduced by way of a friend? It seems more and more that meeting online is becoming quite the norm, and that a good many people have found others that make them very happy.

~Barb

I believe it's very possible. In fact, I'm married to the girl I met on the internet, going on 5 years now... ;)

[RZetlin]

I believe that love online can be both mentally and psychically dangerous. You truly have no idea what the person is like on the other side of the computer.

I have read a case where a teenage boy fell in love with a girl on the internet. They flirted for several months and they finally decided to meet.

When they finally met, the teenage boy was in shock. The girl turned out to be a 60 year old man!

[czyznyck99]

I don't think it is a good thing, but it is certainly possible. I just don't dig meeting people for romance on blind dates, or online, or through the phone. Gotta see them to believe them, me thinks.

Later.

[Jaguar]

Simply put,
NO. :eek:

[rodney]

There's reason to be cautious certainly, but I initially came in contact with my girlfriend online (we see each other frequently now), so it's very possible. I love her and she's my best friend. Were we not open to trying something new, we'd both be alone.

[Brainatra]

A gay friend of mine dated someone off the Internet for some number of months, before moving in together---and they've been together for the past few years (even going to Vermont for one of those civil union thingies)...though he said he did have various "duds" before meeting this guy (too many weirdos/little in common with/just looking for sex/etc.).

As for me, I've dated people I met online, but nothing much's come of any of it...

-B.

[The Detective]

To borrow the words of the Flash from "The Brave and the Bold."

"Internet romances, go figure."

[Damien]

It's possible, but trust me, you don't want to get too attached until you meet. I've had too many problems going down that road.

[Angel_Baby]

I guess it could happen, but I think it's more an issue of trust than anything. Like icq for example you have to belive that you are really talking to the person they say they are ;)

[Chris Sanders MSX]

It's possible but you have to know that things won't be the same when you meet. While talking on the net your mind puts things together giving you a false first impression. This might change if you teo exchange phone numbers but even that's not the same as meeting in real life.

I think that your best bet for true love happens in the real world, but it's not impossible to meet that special someone over the net. I've met some of the coolest and interesting I've ever met in my life over the net but something tells me that if there was no internet and we lived in the same neighborhood we wouldn't most likely be friends.

[rodney]

Originally posted by Damien
It's possible, but trust me, you don't want to get too attached until you meet.

I agree with that. There's no reason why it can't work, but caution must be exercised.

[Barb Gordon]

Yes, caution should always be a priority, no matter what. Some people have good success stories, so they're for online romances. Others have had bad experiences, so they're against or extremely wary of online romances. It just can go either way. Caution is a must, but I do believe it's possible to find that special someone. But I don't think people should purposefully go looking for the love of your life online. It seems to be more of a chance thing when it comes to these net relationships.

~Barb

[G. Wen]

No. People behave differently online. They only display their cordial side because the relationship between 2 people online is like the relationship between 2 coworkers in adjacent cubicals. The internet acts like the cubical and all interactions are kept professional. When the 2 people finally meet, they discover who the other person really is like, and all the odd quarks the person pocesses.

[Jedigreedo]

My sister met a guy online, and so far he's pretty cool. He's come to visit twice in just coupla years they've been together, heck he's alot nicer and better than the one she had before him who she went to school with. So yeah I guess it is possible, but I dunno.

Guess I really can't say much on this though, cause out of my two (net) relationships, I think love is just a waste of time.

[James]

Originally posted by Desdiablo
No. People behave differently online. They only display their cordial side because the relationship between 2 people online is like the relationship between 2 coworkers in adjacent cubicals. The internet acts like the cubical and all interactions are kept professional. When the 2 people finally meet, they discover who the other person really is like, and all the odd quarks the person pocesses.

But again, that's like I said - people behave differently courting in real life. You can never tell what a person is truely like until you meet them. Obviously it is more obscure online, but I think it's worth pointing out that this occurs in real life too.

For me, I don't see it as the best/worst course. I know I met someone of good character and similar interests. Two elements I've never found come together all that often. So I'm thankful for the net for letting me find, meet and care for someone I'd never met otherwise.

Thank you internet! :)

[rodney]

As much as some people frown on it, Emily has completly and totally enriched my life. I'm glad that I took a chance and met her. Of course, things are now much more than an "internet dating" thing. We see each other frequently, and have been discussing marriage. Still, if you're careful, and keep your head straight, wonderful things can happen. I'll never regret giving it a shot.

[Barb Gordon]

Good for you rodney!

Some people do seem to forget the stories that are out there about people getting married and then one or the other person ends up being so totally different then how they appeared at first. It happens face to face from the get go, so there's no reason it wouldn't happen online either. But, you also meet nice people who really ARE nice people face to face, so shouldn't the same apply to online then?

~Barb

[rodney]

A first date is a first date, no matter how you've met (assuming you've exchanged pictures). You're going to be nervous, and constantly thinking about how you're appearing to the other person. I don't see how that really makes a difference. Now, if you only talk to somebody online (or on the phone), never meet them, and agree to something long term, tha's dangerous. But using the internet as a tool to meeting a possible mate seems fine to me.

[Weatherman]

Yes, yes, and most definately yes. Heck, I'm going down to Tennessee tommorow to visit my gf who I met online. My thris visit down there and the fifth time overall that we've seen each other. I love her like life itself, and she loves me. :)

[serenitymoon]

I think you can. My best friend from high school met her husband on the net. He was from Germany and they met in a chat, I think. Anyway, they are now happily married and have been for several years.

[ccffan01]

No.

[BLACKHEART]

Do you think it's possible to meet the love of your life, (or best friend even) via online? Is it so much different from a blind date, meeting someone in line, being introduced by way of a friend? It seems more and more that meeting online is becoming quite the norm, and that a good many people have found others that make them very happy.

~Barb
Barb is there something you need to tell me? ;)

I'm really digging this "highlight the topic and get the content inside" feature. Now I'll never have to waste my time clicking pointless posts. Who ever had that idea is a brilliant man.

Is it possible to find the love of your life online? Maybe perhaps, but I don't know. Wouldn't it be easier to find heartbreak online? So you found your perfect soul mate. The two of you get along so great, but guess what. One of you lives in LA and the other in NYC. So there's all that distance between you that will prevent the two of you from seeing if the sparks are really there.

Sad isn't it?

[Leaping Larry Jojo]

No, I don't, not for me personally. But I think the road to romance is a different path for every person. What works for one person may not work for another. You just gotta do what your gut tells you to.

I have to say it's very hard to really know someone online. I thought I knew a lot of you guys here after 4 years of online posting on Toonzone, but I probably don't. For example, recent events have added new layers to familiar people that I never suspected previously, so it can be quite a surprise when you learn more ticks and tastes of a person, and it's quite hard to bring them out when you don't see them all the time.

[Singin' Stray Cat]

I've heard wonderful stories of people finding their soul mate/significant other online before. But it hasn't really worked for me. (Then again, neither have "conventional" methods.)

I have, however, found lots of friends. :)

[Barb Gordon]

yeah, I've found loads of friends online, it's great. A very close group of like 6 or so, and then a larger group of some very nice, more casual aquaintances.

~Barb

[James]

yeah, I've found loads of friends online, it's great. A very close group of like 6 or so, and then a larger group of some very nice, more casual aquaintances.

~Barb

Yeah, I never mentioned the friends part. I try and keep up with all the peeps. I have a couple of old net friends I'm still in contact with from my old CEN board, but my main ones are here - and I love them all. Not sure who I would classify as my core group. It would be hard to say.. I have several I speak to very reguarly and find their friendship and judgement faultless.

[Salvor]

Well I did meet Lady Kylewayne on the Internet so I guess it is possible :D

[SilverKnight]

I'm not exactly a people person. Not to say that I clam up around other people, because when I wanted to, I could be very affable and involved in conversation, but more often than not, I keep to myself. I have a lot running inside my mind that I'd like to say, but can never get out of my mouth. So, internet is ideal for me.

Yes, you have to be cautious. I've told many of my friends online that I'm different in real life than I am on the net. I'm more quiet and reserved, and I don't speak all too well. And, I have an accent. :) To be honest, though, some of my closest friends are on the internet. In fact, I've been trying to work up the courage to tell somebody I know in person (without sounding totally weird and suicidal) that if anything ever happens to me in real life, I want my friends online to know.

So, yeah, you can find your love online. If it suits you. :D

[James]

Well I did meet Lady Kylewayne on the Internet so I guess it is possible :D

lol! Did you not notice those cat like, razor sharp claws she parades? You got a deathwish or something?! :D

[Kylewayne]

Originally posted by Salvor

Well I did meet Lady Kylewayne on the Internet so I guess it is possible :D

Do I know you? O_O...Are you the one stalking me and following me around?....btw...call me tonight Salvor, I miss you! :D *wink*

[Psilon]

My friend has about 14 online girlfriends. One calls him husband. When my friends get bored they mess around with them. Man, I've seen them do some mean stuff.

I don't think I'm a very net person. I believe there are about 15 people on my list. All of them I know in the real world.

[Rinoa Heartilly]

I beieve you can meet someone and be happy. The only problem is others who don't want you happy or want to wreck a couple's retionship cause they can't find happiness is the only down side.

You can find love/happiness it's just developing trust

[Opaque]

I beieve you can meet someone and be happy. The only problem is others who don't want you happy or want to wreck a couple's retionship cause they can't find happiness is the only down side.

You can find love/happiness it's just developing trust oh Rinoa...

[Chris Sanders MSX]

But again, that's like I said - people behave differently courting in real life. You can never tell what a person is truely like until you meet them. Obviously it is more obscure online, but I think it's worth pointing out that this occurs in real life too.

This I agree with. Like when you first meet a potential girlfriend/boyfriend in real life you usually always try your best to forward a good impression, so you try to hide your faults but slowly the longer you are together your faults start to show. I mean you may talk about the problems you have but they don't strike you until you see them in action. Which is the problem with internet because it's one thing for someone to say they have a short temper, it's another to see that temper falir up for yourself.

[Kylewayne]

Originally posted by SJJ
But again, that's like I said - people behave differently courting in real life. You can never tell what a person is truely like until you meet them. Obviously it is more obscure online, but I think it's worth pointing out that this occurs in real life too.

True you can never tell what a person is like until you meet them. On a serious note, I am not against finding love through the internet. Although you do have to be careful now a days. I have know a few people that found love through the net. For some it has worked out for some it has not. It's a risk you take. If you feel strongly about he other person you met on the net and know that they they are worth it...then by all means go for it.

On the other hand, I have seen a lot of parents who are over protective on letting their sons/daughters meeting "strangers" over the net. My mother was against it and I understood her concerns. I would have reacted the same way if I had a daughter. I gained her trust and she let me go see the guy in the end. I made the rules, where to meet, time , place and all. I even brought a good friend along. I was happy I met him and I had fun that one day upon meeting them. (Yes met them for a day)

Would I do this again? Probably, if the right person comes along and that is worth my time and day. So I do not ban finding a friend over the net. I believe that friendship comes first that anything else. If anything has to happen between two people friendship is the way to start to let that friendship develop into something more. anything is possible if you are willing to work it out. I rambled on enough. *bows and leaves*

PS: I was never going to post in this thread but I decided to post my opinion.
* forgive if I have spelling mistakes or if I do not make sense with all that said. See ya! ^_^

[Pilmedium]

Do you think it's possible to meet the love of your life, (or best friend even) via online? Is it so much different from a blind date, meeting someone in line, being introduced by way of a friend? It seems more and more that meeting online is becoming quite the norm, and that a good many people have found others that make them very happy.

It is easier for people to lie and get away with it online, because the other person would be less likely to know it is a lie. Relationships can be formed at first through the internet, but it is riskier.

[James]

It is easier for people to lie and get away with it online, because the other person would be less likely to know it is a lie. Relationships can be formed at first through the internet, but it is riskier.

Love is blind, and again I think people fall for lies where ever. I don't think the internet is anymore dangerous. Afterall, a lot of those who lie are those who want quick gains, and they could - arguably - be more likely to be in the clubs and bars where they are more likely to find it.... Both have drawbacks.

[Patrick Bateman]

It's very possible. Perhaps far too possible. I just know nothing hurts like loving someone you can't see or hold. It's agony. But it certainly can pay off for you in the long run. It's the in-between stages that are pure torture.

I haven't slept for 2 days now, and I hate to say you get used to it. You spend any time lying down brooding over things, and before you know it, you're sitting up with your face burried in your hands. It's tough.

[Zach Logan]

It's very possible. Perhaps far too possible. I just know nothing hurts like loving someone you can't see or hold. It's agony. But it certainly can pay off for you in the long run. It's the in-between stages that are pure torture.

Im a hopeless romantic, and this killed me. It is pure torture and it was my ignorantly stupid mistake to get myself involved in it.

[Leaping Larry Jojo]

I'm an incredibly insecure person. I would prefer to meet and know someone face-to-face rather than getting to know them online, romantically speaking. I have a charmingly dreadful need to be accepted physically BEFORE I am accepted mentally and emotionally. Chalk it up to mistrust. I don't believe in the idea that people fall in love with personality. To a large degree, romance is physical. If she can like most of my physical traits and disregard some of the more minor physical flaws (a mole there, an overly lean build there... :) ) then fabulous, I'm comfortable. If she tolerates my appearance but REALLY REALLY likes my utterly charming personality, then that's fine too. If she loves my appearance but utterly detests my personality, that's at least a testament to my roguish good looks. But to like my personality but be utterly unattracted to me physically...that is worst than death itself, unless she is someone I just met, to which I don't care what they think if that's the case.

Call me paranoid, but I have ghastly nightmares about knowing someone online, setting a date, meeting her, and eventually end up disappointing her with my appearance (or likewise, BE disappointed by hers--looks matter to me too...).

[Jade_GL]

I have found good friends online. :D

But love, romance? I think that's a lot harder, especially for someone like me. I like to see people and talk to them in person before I feel love, at least that romantic type of love. I feel that I can be really good friends with people online, but I have never fallen for anyone online, or really thought about that as an option.

Besides, right now i already have a bf, so it's not like I am actively trying to use the internet to get into a relationship.

But I think that the internet has it's downfalls, namely that people can create a persona and use that to mess with other people. I hear about that type of stuff from people all the time, whether it's someone on the news being lured or scammed, or just accounts from a few of my friends.

But I think people can genuinely find the love of their lives online. I just think that actively searching for a romantic relationship and not first making friends will not always find what they want, and may really disappoint themselves in the process.

[Outlander00]

Since been in one for a few years, I can honestly say that its both a mixed blessing and a curse. On one hand, you can get to know the individual first without worrying about appearances and other superficial things. At the same time (in the case of long distance relationships), it can be hard and takes a lot of trust and patience. Other than that, its no different from meeting someone you are interested in in wherever place.

As far as frineds are concerned... Hell, I have made plenty of friends on here that I talk to regularly, as well as other places (even talked to some on the phone a few times). :D

[Tootlez]

With me it's different... I don't get on that much and well... basicly I know all of the precausions to take. I can't get on that much either but I met only two people...My friends were on along with me talking to them; they've known them longer than I have but...

...If you have your parents breathing down your necks and telling you that you can't get on because we've been on too long already... and you have a online friend that you havn't talked to in a while then... you get worried if they are asking about you ... that's if you started a relationship with them.

I can't say that you can or can't, it's just how gulible you can be and aware what could happen if you met a milester or something! You just have to becareful... You could get online with one of your friends that already know them and know who they are and almost everything about them..
...Only then can you really trust them.. or if you make a vow that you will be totally honest with each other.

Over all... becareful... (even though everyone has said it, you don't know who is really out there!)!!

[Sailor Chibi Otaku]

I met one of those 6 years ago in a chat room. I was 17, and you know how those people are: they stalk kids up until the age of 17, you know? 18 they're adult, but it's still freaky to meet one at any age, but..

this one that met me (I did not go looking for him. He came to me, unwillingly) wanted to get to know me, you know: age, where I live, what am I wearing. I was careful. I said 17, Canada, female, and in 1997, know how many 17 year old female Canadians were around? The number was too large, so with that, I fooled him.

Then, he began sending me private messages (at WBS, you can do that while chatting to people in the chat room. WBS is dead now, though), probing me with questions. I was like, enough. You're boring me. Go away now.

They're a boring bunch of people, and I gotta tell ya: young teens and kids must live really crappy lives to fall for 'em. They're dull people. They ask the same thing over and over and get angry if you don't comply with them.

I went to that same chat room a few days later and he wasn't there.

At the time, I wasn't aware of how serious that is. Now that I know, I should have reported him, but I think someone else did or he just gave up or something, but it's more serious now than it ever was.

[James]

They're a boring bunch of people, and I gotta tell ya: young teens and kids must live really crappy lives to fall for 'em. They're dull people. They ask the same thing over and over and get angry if you don't comply with them.




Sorry, I'm lost - who are 'they'? :confused:

[Sailor Chibi Otaku]

Internet stalkers. I met one who stalks kids. Freaky and boring at the same time.

[James]

Internet stalkers. I met one who stalks kids. Freaky and boring at the same time.

As are most male predators.... :) I can imagine. I think once you are on to them - like most men they are incredibly predictable.

Ew, not a nice tangent for this thread!

[TimTwoFace]

I've run into a few freaky female stalkers online before. Yeah, they were stalking me. ME. I'm worth their time? Coulda fooled me. :p Those types of people should be reported.

It IS possible to meet people online, be they good friends or something more. The positives far outweigh the negatives. Just be cautious - but not overly so if you're old enough and have a good head on your shoulders.

-Tim

[Sailor Chibi Otaku]

I'm on an on-line personals site (just for fun and to see who'd be intrested. Got three so far), and one is old enough to be my FATHER!! O_O

I am just trying this on-line personal site. :)

Even if you're an adult, it's still freaky to come across stalkers..