My Mother Taught Me...

[Anime_girl]

My Mother Taught Me...

http://www.00fun.com/pointing.gif


TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"If you're going to fight with each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"

RELIGION:
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why."

FORESIGHT:
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

IRONY:
"Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about."

The science of OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

CONTORTIONISM:
"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

STAMINA:
"You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."

WEATHER:
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

How to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS:
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?"

HYPOCRISY:
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't Exaggerate!!!"

THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:
"Stop acting like your father!"

ENVY:
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you

Freind send this to me from fun.com

[TimTwoFace]

Originally posted by Anime_girl

THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."


And that's the scariest one of all. *SHUDDERS IN FEAR*

*AND ELTON JOHN SONGS START TO PLAY IN THE BACKGROUND*

:D

-Tim

[Barb Gordon]

lmao, that's great. Seems like something I'd get in an email. So amusing because I know my mom has probably said the majority of those things to my sis and I at some point on our lives. Mom's are so cool.

~Barb

[cross blues]

That takes me back... I've heard all of those except the clean underwear one, that's just weird.

[EightOh]

My mother taught me that alligators are ornery 'cause they got all them teeth but no toothbrush...

[Rune]

Heheheh, I think my mother used every single one of those on me throughout childhood.

The underwear one was a favourite of my grandmother's too, along with the strange logic that sitting on peoples garden walls gave you haemorrhoids :rolleyes: personally that was enough to prevent me even wanting to put her to the test.

[jeffrey 228]

My mother taught me to not give any money to friends who will cheat you later on.

As that is what happened yesterday. :rolleyes:

[James]

THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

Lol! I love that one.. if only mum was as good at puns as that... that's a nasty one!

[StarScream64]

Yeah, I've had the majority of those sayings thrown at me at one time or another. Mom's favorite was the clean underwear one. :rolleyes:

[Damien]

Yeah, I was in an accident once on the way home. My mom had planned on teaching me about foresight that night... :(

[ProdigyCube]

That was increadibly cheezy!

But it had a certain charm to it.

~Prod

[Pilmedium]

Those situations are funny. The hidden meanings of things mothers can say seriously are amusing.

[Danielle]

Those are hilarious!! I love the osmosis one. :D

My mother taught me ventriloquism. She used the same voice for our cat, our cousins' dog, our neighbor's baby, and occasionally my father. ;)

[Opaque]

funny funny funny... I've heard many of those in my time...

[turbomog007]

wow that sounds just like my mom :D

[Legolas's_Woman]

yeah --- thats sounds like my mom, too. she would always tell me to go to my room or i'll give you something to cry about.

ahhhhhhhh the memories---- :)

[RogueMartian]

THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

That's a Bill Cosby quote. He says "I brought you into this world, I can take you out, and it won't matter, cause I can make another one just like you"

Its in my book of favorites.