the relationship and relationship advice thread

[dark knight acolyte]

Hello there, all you hearts. Some of you may be lonely hearts....other hearts fulfilled. Some may be kissing in front of fireplaces....others' hearts may be burning in the fireplace. We all have a love story to tell; some of us may even be in a love story as we speak. And...its not always easy. Sometimes, the answers and the light that illuminates the directions we should take don't fall like omens from the Heavens. So....that's where we all come in....the friendly souls here at ToonZone, ready to give our advice and help our fellow members in need. OR...maybe they're not in need..maybe they're so full of love or so in love that they just have to let it flow out...to be expressed. What do we say? WE say, "Go for it, Prince Charming (or Cinderella). Testify." Because Lord knows a love story with a positive outcome is a treasure....and there aren't enough of them!

Let me begin with my situation.

I was dating a girl named Ashley in a long distance relationship. I am from PA, and she originally was *when we met*, but her parents separated and her father got custody *she's 17 to my 20, but we're both.....waiting...so no legal concerns here* so she went with him to NC. She was only my friend when she moved; we got together shortly thereafter. As I told her, "hunny, I realize the distance is a scary thing, and its natural to be worried. but, the only difference between you being here and you being there is that I can't touch you; and touching is physical. And while you have a gorgeous body and look great, I don't love you for that reason. I love you for your heart. And I still touch your heart." And with that in mind, and a love that seemed so right, we proceeded in a relationship that began so very fulfillingly; we wrote each other daily, always talked *phone, IM, etc.*, and we did many things that ensured our relationship could be strong via communication and love. I did and do love her still....keep this in mind as you keep reading. My care for her IS genuine. She's a beautiful person; she destroys my old theory on women *female posters, I apologize* that you can only devote 100% to each girl for looks and personality (i.e. a girl with 80% good looks is to have only 20% good personality) by showing me that 100% isn't a limitation to a purely and genuinely nice person (and yes, she was a beaut physically, too...but it wasn't about that for me, I do swear to that.). Things were going great until she started moving into a new house *her dad found himself a gf*. At that time, her time was gone....and while I understood that and was willing to work with her...she made me feel like I wasn't even a thought to her sinner a priority of any sort. The e-mails decreased and the letters went away...I didn't hear from her as much...slowly less and less. Today marks three weeks from the last time we spoke. During our time together, she never gave me an address, until her dad knew who I was *I'd never met him* or at least was comfy with the idea of me...and she currently isn't responding to e-mails. This is probably in lieu of her moving into a new home being built, but still....there are ample pieces of paper to write a letter in this world *she has my address*, numerous phones *cel, payphone, etc. and I know she calls her mom here in PA*, and so many computers...jsut to even let me know she's ok. She could have DIED and right now, I wouldn't know. I don't talk to any of her friends from NC...she didn't give me any. I knew her old number, but in her new house...it's changed...so no number. Anyway, about a week or more ago, I decided to call things off....but I have no way to tell her. So, I AM single....and I did send that e=mail telling her that. In the end, I jsut feel like she could have done more to let me know she cared. Action speaks louder than words; her actions showed a lack of consideration, IMO...especially considering she has to know that I'm concerned, even as just a friend, because I do care. I miss her alot....I need to find her....with that in mind, does anyone know a good way to track someone down? *boy, this could get interesting.* BUT....get this....this is NOT my dilemma. That is the background info.

Nearing the end of my relationship with Ashley, a girl named Shannon who I work with and I began to talk more than normal. We always talked, and she was always quite nice. But it really started to take off! Shannon is also 17. Shannon is in a relationship w/ a bf that doesn't treat her as well as he should; Let me tell you all something, Shannon is A GREAT PERSON! She's amazing. She was there for me throughout my entire ordeal, and in getting to know her....I am falling for her. Fastly. One day, she asked me what I was doing after work....I said nothign so we went to the mall and talked for three hours! Just talked...about our relationships, helping each other...and such. And she threw so many hints to me: "YOu know, in talking to you for just three hours I feel like I know you better than my bf of 10 months." "It's funny. It's like a movie where two people are in relationships in which they could do better, and the audience knows what's right for them; but they just have to make the decision themselves to do what's right for each other." We were going through similar things, and our connection that ngiht was strong; strong enough to open my eyes to the fact that I can do better. Shannon is a nice girl, great upbringing; she's polite, charming personality *very mature for her age*, doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, she's a virgin *and plans to be until she's married*....she's exactly what I am looking for in a girl. She's exactly the type of person who I'd regret to ever have to say that I never tried to see where things could go, because, frankly, every time I'm around her, she makes me SO happy. Seriously, no bluffing or self-convincing here. SHE JUST DOOOOOES....and its truly amazing. Anyway, as my relationship ended, she was, and still is, in hers. I don't her never to settle *not that who she was with was wrong* but just never to settle...b/c she's a pretty girl...one of those 200% people...but foremostly, her personality is SO great *my God, she's wondeful* and it makes her beautiful face shine that much brighter once you know the person inside. I'm being a friend for her; I told her how I felt....and she told me she feels the same way, but she's torn because on one hand...her exact quote in a note to me *yes, you shouldn't share notes...but this one quote I hope will put things in persective* "On one hand, I've been with Corey for so long taht I don't know if I could leave him. But, then, God sent you walking down the hall, and man, Josh, you're amazing. I never thought I could meet such a wonderful guy..we're like 2 and the same. You have the ability to not only mkae a girl happy but to do great things for the world, and I feel like I'm cheating myself. I'm torn right now, and I can only hope that God lights my path a little more clearly as I try to decide what path is right for me." :) Yeah, I liked that! So, she's still with him. And in the meantime, I'm being her friend; being there for her is what I should be doing as a good friend and as a good man. Friendship is the foundation, and at the end of the day, that's what anything that comes from this will build upon, because our friendship is so strong right now. I've been doing things friends do for friends *and while I admit part of it to be trying to make an impression, most of me did these thigns because I wanted to because she's a great girl*: offered to take her to my doctor for her back pain, helping her with homework, being a shoulder to lean on, etc. And I understand patience is a virtue, and that what's meant to be will be....but free will also plays a role. You have to assume some control. So, how do I handle this... I don't want to be that jack***** who says..."c'mon...be my bf and let's see how things go" b/c that isn't right to her to pressure her in that way. She needs to sort things out in her head, and I don't want to pressure her through that....b/c that's WRONG. I want to be her friend and support her no matter what she decides, b/c at the end of the day, until something more happens, taht's what I am, and therefore, that's what I need to be. However, I can't the almight complacent one and let something slip me by because I didn't take ENOUGH initiative, can I? I mean...maybe that spur of the moment instance of feeling is exactly what I need....where I just open up and let it all out....show her just how deeply I feel and how badly I want to be in her life in that way and her in my life. So....what should I do? Any thoughts?
I mean....its something I could surely handle on my own...but a lil' advice from friends can never hurt!

[Weatherman]

Ahhh, ehhhhhhh...heheh, heh. Eh



I would have to say just keep doing what you've been doing. If it's meant to be, then it will happen. And talk to her friends to get an idea of what she thinks about you when you're not standing right next her. Don't necessarily pump them for information, but see what they have to say if you get the chance. Hopefully you get what I mean. Best of luck to you. Sounds like you have a keeper if you can get her. :)

[EinBebop]

Right now, I'd like to post my complete guide to relationship advice.





Ein's Complete Guide to Relationship Advice

Don't. Just don't.






:D

[Leaping Larry Jojo]

Working a relationship is like working a machine you are unfamiliar with--you just randomly press buttons and see what happens! Look! I pulled a Homer! :D :p

[Jedigreedo]

My advice: When you feel like you're in love, bang your head on the wall till you forget it.

[Nightflower]

Originally posted by Leaping Larry Jojo
Working a relationship is like working a machine you are unfamiliar with--you just randomly press buttons and see what happens! Look! I pulled a Homer! :D :p
Basically. :D

[dark knight acolyte]

Hey, thanks for all of the thoughts and insight from each of your POV's, folks....I appreciate it. Anybody else have some thoughts for ol' DKA? If so, don't be shy! Time to spill them! :)

And, also.....
Who else out there has a relationship question....or a nice love story? Sappy, hard and sadistic, its all welcome here.....

[Chris Sanders MSX]

My advice: When you feel like you're in love, bang your head on the wall till you forget it.

Yes I agree. Falling in love has made me a shell of my former self but despite all the bad that came of it, the good parts were really really really good. So it's up to what you want your life to be like.


Seeing as how this is the relationship advice thread:

Note:Danielle is my now ex-girlfriend. We broke up because she has issues to wade through but she claims she still wants to be with me. Thus why pretty much nothing has changed in our relationship other than the dropping of the titles boyfriend and girlfriend.

After our accounting class Danielle and I goofed around and then this kid Elijah whom Danielle nick named Izzy pops up. He was the first and only person in the Marketing Class last Semester that I consider a friend. he didn't know Danielle and I used to date and made failed attempts at flirting with her, but managed to make her laugh. Which made me jeleous. I get jeleous over everything, I can't help it. Even though I know that Elijah is harmless and she was mostly laughing at him, it still bothered me. I hated feeling this way cuz I KNOW I had nothing to worry about, nor do I have a reason (her not being my g/f any more and all) But that's just me.

To make things worse he goes to school with her "first", and while the conversation they were having included nothing but talking about how much the guy sucks, I still didn't want to talk about it. I hate talking about ex-boyfriends, with or around my girlfriends..(In my mind I think I still consider myself that)

Elijah finally finds out we were dating when topics get changed and Danielle says "Yeah we used to go together but now we are just really good friends" In my mind I'm trying to figure out if this is code for anything and he goes "So why'd you break up ?" I just pointed at Danielle, and she wouldn't comment. Then he goes "Well are you going to get back together ?" And I shake my head No, just to shut him up. Later when Danielle and I are off the train she asks me what I meant by shaking my head No, and i tell her it was just my way of saying shut up and she goes "Your Thinking Negative" in a taunting voice.

What I'm asking is what kind of signals is she giving me ? Ha ha, I can never pick up on this stuff.

[Patrick Bateman]

My advice: When you feel like you're in love, bang your head on the wall till you forget it.
I guess you could do that, though I have no idea why you'd want to. I bet that lots of times when guys do that, they've missed out on something great. Nothing beats telling someone how you feel and having those feeling returned. Nothing. And even if things maybe don't pan out, if you remain friends afterwards, you've got the best kind of friend you could have. The incredible love is still there, it's just converted to a love of a non-romantic sense. But this person will still care the world for you.

Is that something you really want to risk not going after? Start thinking about what you'll be missing, and not a POSSIBLE pain.

[sKorpia]

Okay, seriously, you need to let her come to you. Be her friend, yada, etc. But she needs to make the determination to break it off with her boyfriend. She needs to find the spine, she needs to have the faith to make the leap. If she's not willing or if she does it to make you happy, you might wanna watch out because someday she could regret it or worse, resent you for "coercing" her to do something that she later feels guilty about.

Just a consideration for the darker side of the story.

But I stand by the "find the spine" statement, which, btw, totally came out as a rhyme by accident.

[Lucky Bob]

Originally posted by EinBebop
Right now, I'd like to post my complete guide to relationship advice.





Ein's Complete Guide to Relationship Advice

Don't. Just don't.


:D


LUCKY BOB'S ADDENDUM TO EIN'S COMPLETE GUIDE TO RELATIONSHIP ADVICE:

If at first you don't succeed, try try again

[Outlander00]

DKA - Your problem sounds somewhat similar to a situation I had recently (NF and a few others know of it *hugs NF* :D), but you sound like you have already decided what you want to do. Id just let this new girl how you feel and just be her friend... that way, either way, you'll still be her friend but the door is always open.


Chris - Dude, You already know how I feel about the situation :p BUT, for all intensive pupose... She sounds just as confused as you and, maybe I am overstepping my bounds her, just stay her friend or at least in contact until she decides what to do. If she likes or loves you she'll come back.


*shakes his head* Why is it easier for someone (like myself) to give advice than to help yourself or follow your own? :p

[James]

With anything worth it's while, there comes a price. It's a risk my friends, and it's up to you whether it's worth the gamble. It may leave you hollow, but equally you can be left hollow if you don't try.

The important thing to do is learn from each relationship. What went wrong, what wasn't good for you, what mistakes were made and use those to improve your chances in obtaining a successful relationship.

The worse thing is to let it make you bitter. It's hard, and you may need to take a break from relationships for a bit, but we all want someone, and becoming bitter or cold is a sure fire way not to succeed in that goal.

Just some general points...

[All-Star 1.5]

Before I begin this I must state that my friend is a complete novist to relationships.

Okay let me say for instance that way back my friend(who will be referred to as -) liked this girl and the girl like him but he couldn't bring himself to ask her out because he didn't know what to say and all he had to do was ask her out; now flash forward 5 months she has decided to stop waiting and ask somebody else out and now he feels like really really bad about what just went down; now flash forward again 3 months - has finally gotten over the girl(sort of) and as moved on, but he has no idea as to where they stand in this relationship.


Now you ask me what was the point of this story well, it's like this my friend doesn't know how to confront her and ask her where they stand without either coming of as if he wants her or coming off as a complete idioit because she may know where they stand.

So can you please help my friend???


P.S before I forget how can my friend not make the same mistake twice????

[Weatherman]

To answer the seccond question, he just needs to suck it up and ask. No pussyfooting around. Just ask the next one out, or, miracle of miracles, ask the first gilr out should the current relationship falter.

As for helping him figureout where he stands, again, he just as to ask. Plain and simle. He has to ask her.

[ZorBrak]

Originally posted by Batman Year One
I guess you could do that, though I have no idea why you'd want to. I bet that lots of times when guys do that, they've missed out on something great.

Normally I have agreed with the stuff we've talked about BYO, but I know why'd they'd want to do that. Maybe you're right about nothing being better than having feelings of love returned. But nothing is worse than the opposite either. For some of us that's all we have ever gotten. I've had it happen to me 5 times now (and that's not counting the other countless times I've been shot down too quickly to feel anything deep) . It's the worst feeling in the world and I've been feeling it endlessly...I've kept torturing myself by not swearing of the whole damn concept of being in love years ago. And to top all things off I just lost my best friend because he stabbed me in the back over yet another girl. My family just ignores me now and my friends betray me or don't care. I'm losing everything meaningful to me and don't even have a damn person to talk to about any of it. I don't even know who my real friends are anymore. I've been in a deeper depression recently than I have ever been and everyone I used to turn to has turned away from me. So it's not hard to see where those people come from for me anymore.

and now I'm gunna rant because I'm pissed, bored, and got stuff to say....admire my wonderful insight.

I'm not saying anything about "the nice guy" here. I'm not ranting for his cause. Because I am not a nice guy. I think "nice guys" have no back bones. Regardless of that, wasted efforts are something we all know something about.
But how are people supposed to feel when they put their heart and soul into something and have it all be for nothing. They're left with only one thing. Knowing there's so many peices of crap is out there, with girls clawing all over them, who have no right to be in a relationship. Nice guys let people walk on them, so I really don't have too much sympathy for them...maybe a tiny bit. What I'm going to discuss here is the source of the problem...scumbags..the "perfect" guys that grace land with their stupidity. The typical "perfect" guy is actually just a callus, apathetic, shallow, dumb ass, a tough guy is just somone who doesn't take people's crap. But girls commonly mistake scumbags for "tough guys" . In reality, most of these guys just take everything for granted. What they have means nothing to them. They have no true respect for anyone but themselves.
Through that horrible person so many girls see the "perfect" guy just gracing their presence (so we'll just call him Mr. Perfect for kicks) . Mr. Perfect probably cheats on his girlfriend or.........girlfriends yet, they are too naive to realize it. Mr. Perfect leads other girls on all the while who are led to somehow think he wants to be with them. Mr. Perfect doesn't care about the words coming out of girls mouths. Mr. Perfect's goal in life is to get drunk and get layed. Wow what an impressive resume Mr. Perfect has! The truth is that girls flock to Mr. Perfect because they want a "mature" guy, or they want to be with him forever and ever or something that Mr. Perfect would never want. If Mr. Perfect heard that...he'd run like a bat out of hell. Mr. Perfect is in fact....not mature or perfect at all, he's a spoonfed, selfish, loser who will end up getting his ass kicked by the real tough guys in the end. You see the real problem here is not that "nice guys" are being ignored...they have personal problems. Nice guys first need to remember that they were born with X Y chromosomes and stop going on Oprah and being so feminine. Anyways, the problem lies in the flocking to this overpopulated group of "perfect" guys. These guys are always sporting stupid names like Brad, Thad, and Chad (no offense if this is your name...maybe you were mislabled :p). Here's the life of an "--ad" :

get drunk, mock someone who is probably a better person (no I am not reffering to me...I'd kick anyone's ass who tried to pick on me..just an observer...though I'm sick of seeing it happen), get high, get layed, get drunk again and lay a second girl...forget about it, repeat

Wow...damn maybe they're right. That's one perfect guy. :rolleyes:

Now my cousin, I swear he's the only person left in this world who shows any concern for me...but even he is like this. So I have trouble talking to him now too. His poor girlfriend, (as blonde as she was) was a very sweet girl...who foolishy put her trust into him while he was off at college she was cheated on numerous times and then only for him to break her heart for no reason other than he saw her as something holding him back.

The reality is....everytime a girl makes a decision to go for this type of person (thinking they'll be the one to change them, or make them a better person no doubt[yes I can read minds it's cool]) they are setting themeselves up for eventual misery. This ladies and gentleman, has been the truth. Now gimme 5 bucks for my little seminar. ciao.

[Leaping Larry Jojo]

Originally posted by ZorBrak

But How are people supposed to feel when they put their heart and soul into something and have it all be for nothing.

Ahh, but that's life, ain't it?

I guess you'd better not get into the entertainment business. It breaks your heart and then some...all the time.

For me, I've always found it very humourous (albeit in a bitter sort of way) how we work so hard for something and usually have it end up being for nothing. It's kinda funny when you think about it. How inconsequential we are in the scheme of the universe.

I guess you just gotta look at things with a sense of humour. Laugh at yourself. I'm in my mid-twenties and I haven't attracted anyone in about 2 years, while everyone around me is getting married, getting big-time jobs, etc,.

Does it bother me? Sure, a little. Do I obsess over it? No. I can't count the number of times when I thought I had something good going in life when it all fell down on me. Then I start over.

That's what it's all about with mankind. All the work that went into the great Roman empire, glorious Mesopotamia...all gone. But civilizations kept popping up. The perserverance of mankind, the ability to start over and rebuild again...that's what it's all about, man! :D :p

[Weatherman]

Hey ZorBrack, I know what your "friend" did was low, and rather craven, but you can't let him destroy your life. Tell him off and move on. I know it's the oldest cliche around, but just wait, someone will come alogn that is right for you. It may happen tommorow, it nay happen years from now, but it will happen. Don't give up on all of the really great girls and guys because of the jackasses. Heck, she may be staring you in the face every day at school and you just aren't seeing it.

Now don't let the bastards get you down. Stand up and move on. In the end, they'll be the ones left behind with the screwed up lives.

[Drachentöter]

Huh.....

I'm backwards when it comes to relationships.

No, seriously, I haven't had one date at 15. And you KNOW how obscene that is in today's society. :rolleyes: I contribute it to a couple of factors:

1) Money. I don't have a steady income, how do I use shopping change to my advantage?

2) Social standing. I'm unknown outside my circle of friends. How do I approach someone who doesn't know and/or doesn't care to know me?

Family might be an issue, but as how I've never discussed it with them, I don't know what impact they'd have. They certainly haven't encouraged me.

Anyway, I'm hoping to wait until I get a car...that'll give me some bargaining advantage.

[Weatherman]

That's not unusual as far as I'm concerned Vortex. I didn't have a dtae till I was 20. Ya just have to wait till the right one comes along.

[Singin' Stray Cat]

Oh geez. Not another relationship thread. >.<

(gets headaches)

(then gets incredibly depressed)

[Chris Sanders MSX]

I'm backwards when it comes to relationships.

No, seriously, I haven't had one date at 15. And you KNOW how obscene that is in today's society. I contribute it to a couple of factors:

1) Money. I don't have a steady income, how do I use shopping change to my advantage?

If all your trying to attract is superficial girls who care mostly about your money, getting a job wouldn't hurt. But you could also get a job with steady income andbuy things to amke yourself a happier person and that energy will get out and attract girls for you, without having to spend a dime. Sounds like a lot of bull, but I'm sure some one else will testify. I find that when I'm happy I tend to attract way more females than when I'm all moody, like now.

2) Social standing. I'm unknown outside my circle of friends. How do I approach someone who doesn't know and/or doesn't care to know me?

Funny thing about that is you usually don't. You just continue to be yourself but don't be afraid to make friends outsideofyourcircle of friends. Your only 15 so as you progress in High School, you'll have classes and such with other people and some of them will takea liking to you and you might become friends. Use those connections to help you in your quest. I'm cool with LOTS of people now in my Senior year that I wouldof thought wouldn't give me a second look 3 years ago.

Family might be an issue, but as how I've never discussed it with them, I don't know what impact they'd have. They certainly haven't encouraged me.

I hate talking to my parents about my personal life but you'll need them one day. Right now, I don't think they'll be able to help you. But that's just me.

[Drachentöter]

When is the right time to ask out a person?

When you're on speaking terms? When you visit their house often? When you've gone out with their friends?

And when is a signal really a signal? When is it just a misinterpretation?

[Sailor Chibi Otaku]

Dark Knight Acolyte: for the record, the second part of your long post confused me. When I saw "Shannon", I was gonna say: I don't know you!! O_o I'm going to be 23 soon. I'm no longer 17..

When I saw 17, I wasn't confused anymore. Why I say so? My real name is Shannon. :)

As for not having a date at 15. Guess what? Like above, I shall be soon 23 and you're looking at an adult woman who has never dated, never been in a relationship. Nothing. Nadda. :(

At 15, that shouldn't be a concern. When I was a teenager, that's what I merely thought about: snagging me a boyfriend. With guys on my mind a LOT, I barely graduated high school. I should be in university now, but with how I was in high school, I am only a high school graduate because I my mind was on mostly snagging a boyfriend. It's fine to think about having one once in a while, but that was on my mind almost 24/7. I should have only kept those thoughts on the week-ends.. I can't turn back the clock and now I have a LOT of free time on my hands to think about men!! :D

I have my crushes, but they only look at me as a friend.. :( Well, I have a crush on a guy who's my age..

My other crushes include: my favourite Canadian actor, Vincent Corazza (who's happliy married!! :) ) and Carlos Oliveira (I know he's not real, but he's gorgeous!! :D )

[Angel_Baby]

What is "love"? I mean I know what is is but not everyone finds it! I hurts when you get your heart torn out and stepped on! It's not fun but life goes on, doesn't it? I mean you can feel so many emotions toward a person and you think that they feel the same way but in the end you find out that they don't. So I mean right now my best friend just broke it off with her boyfriend and I thought that she would've been upset but no! They broke it off on Friday and (I who am single) her and I just flirted but it was sad like she cared for him so much ( she had a crush on him for a year and1/2 prior to this) and he just treated her like crap! So I mean I'm gald that it's only Sunday and she claims that she's already over him! and her and I are crushin on new people! So no we can flirt without her boy friend saying anything! :p

[Drachentöter]

What is "love"? I mean I know what is is but not everyone finds it! I hurts when you get your heart torn out and stepped on! It's not fun but life goes on, doesn't it? I mean you can feel so many emotions toward a person and you think that they feel the same way but in the end you find out that they don't. So I mean right now my best friend just broke it off with her boyfriend and I thought that she would've been upset but no! They broke it off on Friday and (I who am single) her and I just flirted but it was sad like she cared for him so much ( she had a crush on him for a year and1/2 prior to this) and he just treated her like crap! So I mean I'm gald that it's only Sunday and she claims that she's already over him! and her and I are crushin on new people! So no we can flirt without her boy friend saying anything! :p

See, that's the problem. Our generation treats relationships like disposable trash bags. Neat to have, but meant to throw away. I know tons of people like you and your best friend at my school. They get over breakups like that because they never cared in the first place.

Maybe that's why I'm still floundering in the land of single men. I actually plan to have a long, meaningful relationship....I think.

[Angel_Baby]

See, that's the problem. Our generation treats relationships like disposable trash bags. Neat to have, but meant to throw away. I know tons of people like you and your best friend at my school. They get over breakups like that because they never cared in the first place.

Maybe that's why I'm still floundering in the land of single men. I actually plan to have a long, meaningful relationship....I think.

I didn't mean for it to sound that way but you need to understand that her boyfriend was a dirtbag! He had seven or eight different people wanting to go out with him and well he thought about it that's the sad part!So I 'm not trying to make it sound that way but i guess it's just the situation Right? :p

[The Guard]

My own situation has changed. You all know I've had a thing for one girl in particular for a while now. I've been hanging back for a while, letting things happen, going out to lunch with her, talking to her, watching her grow and learn as a person. I know how I feel about her. I love her. Strong words, but they're true. They've been true twice in my life before, and they're really true this time. Now it's a matter of what to do about it, and the only sane thing seems to be to tell her.

She's the girl everyone wants, but never wants to stay with. And for whatever reason, she's kept me around. She has her fringe guy friends, and she keeps reaching out to me in different ways. She doesn't call me much, but I can't worry about that stuff anymore. She's finally realized that she's not going to find the person she's looking for, looking for what she has been so far.

She handed me this a couple weeks ago. I don't know what it meant, if anything.

http://www.angelfire.com/vt2/g_hols/Niceguy

I don't know if she's sending some kind of hidden message with it, or if she just thought it was interesting. Hard to tell. Don't really care.

I've also talked to the other guy that she might be interested in. He's a great guy. If there's such thing as "a shot", he's got more of one with her then I do, I think, because she called him while she was on vacation, and well, he's a rock star. :) I wouldn't be upset at all if she ends up going out with him. He seems to realize how I feel about her, and he's more or less told me "If you want me to stand down, I will". I talked to this guy for a long time two nights ago. It felt like that scene in ARMAGEDDON, the one about drawing straws. Bad analogy, but the point is, we both told each other how we feel about her, and we both want the best for her, and we're not going to fight over her, I don't think. I won't hang back and wait for him to do something, because for once in my life I know that I can be something to someone, if they'll let me. That I mean something to someone, and that they mean enough to me that my fears, worries, apprehensions, none of them matter. So I'm going to ask her out, like I've been doing for weeks, and I'm going to tell her. And if she wants what I have to offer, fine. If she doesn't, well...I'll cross that bridge if I come to it.

Wish me luck, although I don't think luck has much to do with it.

[Weatherman]

Well, I'll wish ya some anyway BYO. Best of luck to you and all that jazz. Good to know you're competition eh? ;)


AB, I don't quite understand what you're saying.......but I think the words "just let it slide" would be apropriate.

[Angel_Baby]

Well, I'll wish ya some anyway BYO. Best of luck to you and all that jazz. Good to know you're competition eh? ;)


AB, I don't quite understand what you're saying.......but I think the words "just let it slide" would be apropriate.

I'm saying that there are reasons that the people that are my age treat relationships like they o because maybe the two of them just aren't ready for any kind of relationships.
~jenn :p

[Weatherman]

Ahh, I see what you're saying now Angel.

[PowerZord]

My story it's prety long.. so pay attention!

My real name is Gabriel. and the girl i like(used to) is named Karla.

it all happened in 10th grade in my first day of class. August 7th,2000. that day i was confused i mean it was my first day of High school so i was confused. anyway i was lookin around to see if there were any cute girls and that's when i hit the jackpot! i found her i saw her! Karla! of course at that time i din't knew her name. that's when i dedicated myself to find out who she was! well i was paying very close attention to the roll call. like 2 days i found out who she was and i fell in love with her. then in like 2 weeks i was bored so i told my friend Tell everybody that i like karla! then he told her.. and i found out that she din't liked me it broked my heart. then By destiny Chances in 11th grade she was in the same classes as I!
but this time we were like friends i din't loved her i just liked to bother her alot. and she was like Gabriel leave me alone! and it was so much fun.. then everybody kept telling me That's not the way of winning a girl heart!
and i told everybody i don't like her! then one of our classmates once told us "you will end up married with children"! and i told him I only like intelligent girls not stupid girls(which is a lie) Anyway the 11th grade ended..

12th grade(Little past and present)
*were not in the same classes anymore
*i keep bothering her But later on my friend speaks to her and find out that she doesn't hate me
*i stop botherin her and tried to win her friendship which i did
*then i fell in love with her again it was devastating
*i kept flirting around..

one day in december we were in the halls i was with karla and one of our friends. then one of her classmates comes And asks are u karla boyfriend?

and i replyied NO!
then he asked Is ur name Gabriel?
i told him Yes is its
then he told me then you are karla Boyfriend!
she started to laugh and blush..

a few weeks after that i confess to her that i liked her and the day after that she was still speakin to me!!.

then december went out and the year as well a whole new semester came! Jan 2002

that day i was so glad of seeing Karla again then she was being very arrogant so in the english class i shouted i hate her and i don't like her!

and she applauded and said

ahh Gabriel hates me!

my classmates had to Hold me back because i was about to go to her face and tell her a few things i declared war to her
Then like almost a month later i fell in love with her again.

~let me skip some stuff and let's go towards st valentines~

i got the chance of giving her a gift for st valentines and i got the chance of defending her as well let me start. in the latin america class my friend and i were sitting in the same table and we were talking and he had a little card. it had a really prety message. and i told him "give it to me!" and he gave it to me and i was telling him i need to plan this very careful i need to give it to her as an annonimus and put it into her bookbag without her noticing. then the bell rang! and i had a men perfume in my bookbag and i puted some perfume on me. then i went downstairs and i was telling one of her friends to help me out with the plan but i din't get cooperation from them anyways everybody was telling me don;t do it annonimus give it to her!. and i was like no! this is part of my little game of two. anyways then she arrived and one of my friends started to call her

Karla! come here! Gabriel wants to giev you something!

and i was like no! not like that and i was so nervous then they were all in front of her pushing her to talk to me and one of my friends told them stop pushing them! if they liked each other that's their problem to solve if u keep pushing them then it will lead to nothing it will just pushed them away. then that friend told karla something actually she whispered something to her ear and she standed up and i gave her the card. and i runned away with the embarrasement then i returned to where i was and she was gone she went to another part of the school with some of our friends. anyways then my friend was still there and i asked did she liked it? and one of my friends who was there told me

"ask her and find out"! and i was like nono i can't ask her that she won't answer me. then of my friends(the one that spoke to her). told me tell karla to come here!. i told her oh ok... then i went and found karla and told her that they are calling her and i stay a little distant because my friend was talking to karla in private. i dunno what she said to her but.. she and karla went and approach me. and my friend told me do u have something to tell her or ask her. do it easily. then i told her yes i need to ask something.

karla did u liked what i gave ya? she moved her head in the way of saying yes without saying words she told it almost laughing(kinda of embarrased) the she was bloccking her face with her bookbag. and i told her i'm glad that you liked what i gave ya. and i could feel my face hot. i was asking my friend i'm blushing right? and she told me yeah u are. and i was like wow. and now just writing or thinking about that makes me blush!.


two of my friends wanted to use a shaving cream called "barbasol on her. they weren';t gonna shaved her don't misunderstand me. but they wanted to turn her into a snowdoll. then my friend took the barbasol from his bookbag and wanted to use it on her!. and i was sturgulling with my two friends who wanted to use that on her i was telling them i won't let you! give me that!

then one of my friends got mad and defy me and wanted at all cost to use it and i standed in the middle of karla and i told my friend you'll have to pass over me before touching her. i became brave. and i was about to fight with my friend just to defend her.

~a few weeks later~

i was feeling sad because i cound't tell Karla how i felt about her. so my friend(the one that told her to accept my gift). then she told me write her a letter on how i felt about her. so i did it. then two days later she spoke to her and she said my name and i gave the letter in her hands. and she read it on the weekend and then when she came on monday she din't spoke to me. But she read it. my friend spoke to her and my friend told me that she read it. but she can't tell me her opinions. Anyways That same week i wrote to letters for her and i gave them to my friend. i was on a school trip so i wasn't present when she gave it to her. Then One of her friends Read it to her Both letters and Karla Stood serious(i know this because her friend told me) But something weird has happened She;s speaking to me again!. then one of her closest friends told me that Karla Still Has All Of My Letters. in her bedroom. that is weird.

now for teh recent events

march 10th-she din;t came to school
march 11th-she came and explained her adsenting reasons
march 12th-i gave her a kiss because she was being hyper(In teh cheek was the kiss)

March 13th-She had a whole new look she cut her hair a little bit and use blower on her hair she looked beautiful

March 14th-She's very sick she told me she was dying

now recently on march 25th i lost the love i felt for her but i alredy had a surprise for her a crystal dolphin. the reason i gave it to her was because i felt like she was destined to have it. i gave it to her and under the dolphin was a letter tellin her that i don't like her anymore
24hrs later she stopped speakin to me.

another day went by she told in front of everybody that i don't like her anymore and that she found out that i hate her and she said that she was happy for that! i was mad so i pulled her hair very hard and she was very pissed!. I'm in trouble! well.. actually no she stills speaks to me

[CoolBlue]

I think we all have to remember that most of us are teens and that we do have a lot of our lives yet to live. :)

[Stardust]

I think we all have to remember that most of us are teens and that we do have a lot of our lives yet to live. :)

Yup. Like my sister said, don't go looking for love, love will look for you. ^_^

What do you guys think about friendship turning into something more?

[Drachentöter]

Yup. Like my sister said, don't go looking for love, love will look for you. ^_^

What do you guys think about friendship turning into something more?

I think it's probably a better situation that begining a relationship on the romantic foot. The better you know a person, the better being with them feels. "Former friend" relationships probably last longer.

On the flip side, breaking up with a former friend may be more painful. Still, I think it's a risk I'd like to take. Hell, I'll take anything.