Help With Women

[mbaker]

I need some help with women. I never seem to meet the right one, and if I do, I screw up. (My avitar alone is proof that I'm A screw up. but I keep on keep'in on) I don't go to bars, nor do I use dating services. Can anyone help me out on this? I almost want to give up on women.

[ZorBrak]

Definitely don't look at bars, you'll only find bimbos and money leeches there...but just keep your eyes open. I think it's better if two people on a date already know each other well prior to dating so ask any female friends at your place of work, church, or anything like that, don't hesitate to ask one of them out. Procrastination is a thief of time and it also results in no results at all. Even if you don't ask any friends out, don't let that stop you. You don't have to know them well that's just my preference. Say you're in a restaraunt and you think you're waitress is cool, go ahead and ask her out! The worst she can do is say no and then if she did say no you'll never even see her again so no harm done. :)

[Chris Sanders MSX]

You usually find women when your not looking. But meeting women doesn't seem to be your problem. It really depends on how you usually screw things up, If notice a pattern just end it. If you see something that usually screws up your relationships just work on it.

I think we need a little bit more information before anyone can really help you.

[Outlander00]

mmmm... I agree with Chriss (sorry, its 10 AM and havent slept, so pardon me for my non descript answers :p)

[mbaker]

Well, I use to ask women who worked instores if I could date them, but they were either married, or had boyfriends. One girl who worked at A CVS store wanted to talk to me, but she told me she had A boyfriend. Didn't have much luck in high school, either.

[Patrick Bateman]

Well, you could always go with the tried and true places to meet women: the supermarket and the laundromat! :D

I myself was never too good at the "dating game" either. Actually I sucked. :rolleyes: I will say this, though. Friends make for better girlfriends. You already know them, know what their personality is like, and if by chance things don't pan out, they'll be more likely to still be your friend afterwards.



-@

[Lucky Bob]

You know, I'm 17, not good-looking by any stretch, and not on the prowl right now. (Like I have been for about 5 years.) So, alarm bells don't go off when girls start checking me out, because it rarely ever happens.

But one day, a coupla years ago, I was at Warner Bros. Movie World in Germany. I was in my seat, preparing to watch the "Marvin The Martian in the Third Dimension" (starring Daffy Duck, of course) 3-D movie. I sat by myself, away from the rest of the family, so I could get a better seat.

All of a sudden, a group of German teenage girls come and sit next to me. And the one on my immediate right says....

"Haben Sie eine Freundin?"

And I say:

"What?"

"Oh, you english?"

"Yeah...."

And she chatters with her friends a second...then asks:

"You live here?"

"No, I'm in Belgium"

More chattering....

"Do you have a....."

(Confers with friends a moment.)

"...guhlfriend?"

And I'm thinking...WHAT?!?!?!?! But I manage a:

"No, but I'd rather watch the movie."

Laugh if you want, but I can't walk into a theater nowadays without thinking.....


Danger in the shape of something mild

Stranger hasn't eaten he’s a hungry child

No one knows who he is or what his name is

I don’t know where he came from or what his belt size is



Hot Man Watchin' Daffy

Hot Man Watchin' Daffy

Sittin' there and eatin' taffy

Hot Man Watchin' Daffy

[mbaker]

Well, I've tried meeting women in the supermarket, but usually, their bosses would ask me to leave them alone.

[Lucky Bob]

Originally posted by mbaker
Well, I've tried meeting women in the supermarket, but usually, their bosses would ask me to leave them alone.

You're going about it all wrong. Remember, there's a desperate female hunter somewhere in a German theme park movie theater! :D

Seriously. I think you should just wait patiently. Don't try to force it, it'll come naturally. You'll find the right one soon enough.

[Chris Sanders MSX]

Originally posted by mbaker
Well, I've tried meeting women in the supermarket, but usually, their bosses would ask me to leave them alone.

Ha. Got any friends that could try and hook you up ? Female friends are best when it comes this.

[Meson]

That's good advice. Don't try to force it. My girlfriend asked me out first. Keep your mind off it by doing something you love. Wen Miss Right comes, she'll let you know.

[DisneyBoy]

Ok. Gotta correct you on this one: Avatar ;)

As for women, you seem to indeed be "on the prowl". If you've been asked to leave supermarkets, I think you may be going about this the wrong way.

As others have already said, the best way to meet women is not to try to. Heck, when was the last time you made a good friend just because you wanted to? Good people come along, if you're able to recognize them. Dating people from your workplace isn't a good place to start, but maybe going to see old friends may be. Do you have a group of people you've known for a while? Are they coupled up already, or are you all single? Either way, going out to dinner with them or attending an office party may be a good way to meet new folks. How about the places where you go for fun? You'd be surprised how many nice folks go to the same skating rinks, restaurants, book stores and parks that you do!

However, I think there's something to be said for getting an outside opinion. As crazy as it may sound, visiting a counsellor or attending a few sessions of group therapy can really open you up to others, and help you notice if any of the things you did in past relationships is keeping you from making new ones. Loving others is easier than loving yourself.

So take my pearls of wisdom, go out there and find yourself some happiness :) Longing for a mate is natural, but if you find it takes up too much of your time and becomes a preauccupation or obsession, it may be time to reevaluate your priorities. While I believe everyone can and should have a soulmate or perfect match, sadly not everyone gets that special someone. That's not the purpose of life though. Making love and peace through your actions is just as important as finding love in a mate. Chances are, you'll find all you need to wake up in the morning by looking in the mirror. That's the key.

P.S. Launchpad got more woman than Drake ever did!

[cross blues]

You never seem to meet the right one because that's really hard to do. Don't worry about any of it. Enjoy your time being single so when you finally do have a girl, you won't have any regrets or anything else to want but her.

[mbaker]

The problem is, I don't have that many female friends, and if I did, they either moved away, too busy to see me, or already taken. So I'm screwed.

[Jedi Knight]

Hmm, I can relate man. Sometimes it is super hard to just meet women.

Maybe you can try chatting to people online? Yahoo? ICQ? I don't really know where, but maybe someone could suggest a few places.

[Meson]

Online dating can be rewarding, but tread carefully. Always be suspicious of the women you find. My advice: stick to a specific-topic chats / message boards, places like ToonZone. The women at these places are more often then not real women. SO, you'd have a better change there then anywhere else.

[BlueAngelGal]

I haven't a clue, but when you figure out the answers, I hope you'll let me know... I'm in the exact same boat, but on the other side of the fence (I'm a woman looking for a man).

[Patrick Bateman]

Online dating can be rewarding, but tread carefully. Always be suspicious of the women you find. My advice: stick to a specific-topic chats / message boards, places like ToonZone. The women at these places are more often then not real women. SO, you'd have a better change there then anywhere else.
I can back that statement totally. I met my girlfriend because of ToonZone, and I'm the happiest I've ever been. There are some great girls out there, so why limit yourself to some not-so-great ones in your local area?



-@

[The Guard]

Online dating...

Get this. This girl I knew (and had a crush on) in high school has been like, IMing me for a few weeks now, and trying to get me to come, well, basically have sex with her. She keeps "upping her offer". She even sent me a whole bunch of nude, "in action" photos while I was on vacation in Florida. She's still as gorgeous as she was in high school, so why am I not interested? It's not that I don't like her, or want her, but I can't just use people like that, even if I do know them. So I tell her I'm not going to come see her and she acts all offended, like I should fall all over her or something.

Girls are hard to understand sometimes.

[JohnCrichton]

First, how old are you?

That's got alot to do with it.... then I may dispense with the advice.

[Joe Wagner]

Originally posted by The Guard

Girls are hard to understand sometimes.

All too true - when I tried to understand them I often found myself more confused then when I began. :eek:

Question for you mbaker - do you work? My current girlfriend and I meet while we were working in the depths of Hates......er.......working as cashiers at Wal-Mart. The first time I talked with her (I used to help all of the female cashiers bag groceries when I could) she didn't say a word to me so I figured she didn't like me (we'll call her C for our purposes). At the same time a couple of other girls were making a play for me - which was a first seeing as how throughout high school I was virtually ignored. Let it be known that I've never been good dealing with the ladies but I continued to try talking with C and I talked with her some more during the Christmas Party that Wally World held (a party I wasn't even going to go to until the one that wanted me dragged me to it). After the party we started talking and on New Years Eve we zoned toys together and wound up having a huge Nerf ball fight while we were on the clock. A couple of days later she invited me to hang out with her and some of her friends. Her friends were being pains so I convinced her to ditch her friends and go see a movie. About a week later I invited her to one of my friends parties and we decided to start going out.

During that time people continually told me that she liked me but I had been led astray so many times by those types of stories I ignored it. Apparently the reason she ignored me was because she was nervous around me and didn't know what to say. My advice is to be cool about stuff and not worry so much about finding a girl friend - I think you'll be amazed by how many girls will be attracted to you if you play it cool. Speaking from experience - while it's nice to get hit on as a cashier (I once had a girl ask me to her prom while I was ringing her out) it rarely turns out that the cashier accepts the proposition.

-Joe!

[Captain Yurika]

I gotta agree with everyone else. Not looking is key to meeting someone. It can be anywhere, store, laundromat, coffee shop. But don't force anything. I don't know ANY girl who likes pushy guys. Just chat casually with someone and see how it goes. If you get too close too fast or pushy then the girl will freak out. It's hard but it's all a matter of being Casual. JC has this little phrase he always uses that explains it better.

As for meeting people in bars...it can work out. I've met a couple long term boyfriends at bars, one I dated for over a year and one I dated for 7 months. So it is possible. Just steer clear of the alcoholics. :)

You could try joining stuff too, like a league of some sort or some kind of book club or something like that. Something obviously that you'd be interested in, and meet girls that way.
The important thing is to not put too much effort into it, because it works out better then. Good luck!!!!!!!!

[James]

Don't look for it - let it come to you, that's the best advice. You are at your most relaxed and thus the most like yourself when you aren't trying.

Forget about it. Enjoy life and wait for the day when it comes and smacks you in the face. Don't waste your days worrying about how you come off - that's a guarantee you'll come off bad!

[Joe Wagner]

Originally posted by SJJ
Don't look for it - let it come to you, that's the best advice. You are at your most relaxed and thus the most like yourself when you aren't trying.

Forget about it. Enjoy life and wait for the day when it comes and smacks you in the face. Don't waste your days worrying about how you come off - that's a guarantee you'll come off bad!

Says the guy dating Barb....... :p

-Joe!

[DisneyBoy]

:eek: They're dating...!?!?

[JohnCrichton]

Originally posted by Captain Yurika
I gotta agree with everyone else. Not looking is key to meeting someone. It can be anywhere, store, laundromat, coffee shop. But don't force anything. I don't know ANY girl who likes pushy guys. Just chat casually with someone and see how it goes. If you get too close too fast or pushy then the girl will freak out. It's hard but it's all a matter of being Casual. JC has this little phrase he always uses that explains it better.


Bruce Lee's method of flirting.

"When your opponent expands you contract, and when he/she contracts you expand. And when the oppurunity presents itself, you do not strike..... the oppurtunity strikes all... by... itself."

Works everytime. ;)

It's easier said that done, but once you get the groove of fluxing and flowing with conversation and being comfortable with who you are then it's a breeze.

But if you're under 20 and especially if you're in your teens this is almost impossible, so don't kick yourself. Only in rare situations did I ever see guys make "the hook up" and actually get themselves a girl and even then it was awkward as hell.

Break past 22 and things get infinately easier.

[Outlander00]

I think I am going to send this out to all the HS'ers out there... I will bestow the knowledge that I think all of us (at least in their mid 20's) have learned (and JC, SJJ, or ANYONE... if I am over stepping my bounds, please shut me up :p)...

Plus, now Im awake to answer... as opposed to my last posting on this subject :p...

There are other things to worry about other than looking for guys or girls. Add to this the fact that you cant really expect an intimate relationship going to last that long if you are in HS (unless you are going to going to the same college), because people grow up and, eventually, grow apart. It sounds harsh, I understand, but its life. It will take a lot less stress off of you and allow you to concentrate with friendships, having fun, or perfecting your talents. If you go to college (which Im sure you will), you will experience a taste of what the world can give you and you will meet new people. The key is to have fun while you can... And, eventually, you're bound to meet that special someone out there.

[JohnCrichton]

Originally posted by Outlander00
I think I am going to send this out to all the HS'ers out there... I will bestow the knowledge that I think all of us (at least in their mid 20's) have learned (and JC, SJJ, or ANYONE... if I am over stepping my bounds, please shut me up :p)...

Plus, now Im awake to answer... as opposed to my last posting on this subject :p...

There are other things to worry about other than looking for guys or girls. Add to this the fact that you cant really expect an intimate relationship going to last that long if you are in HS (unless you are going to going to the same college), because people grow up and, eventually, grow apart. It sounds harsh, I understand, but its life. It will take a lot less stress off of you and allow you to concentrate with friendships, having fun, or perfecting your talents. If you go to college (which Im sure you will), you will experience a taste of what the world can give you and you will meet new people. The key is to have fun while you can... And, eventually, you're bound to meet that special someone out there.

Go for it Outlande... I see no bounds that you might be stepping out of anywhere in sight. ;)

But you are insanely right. Write this down children, cuz it would've saved me alot of heart ache when I was a teen had someone told me this.

By age 19-20 just about all my friends had a steady girlfriend and a rare few had one in high school.

Know how many lasted?

NONE!

There's an illusion that if you don't find someone before 20 and the end of the movie that you'll be alone forever, but that's completely and utterly not true.

Alot of my friends are still trying to find that someone and they're okay. Some didn't find that special someone 'til age 26 or even later.

All I know right now is the point of view and life experiences I've had up 'til now cuz I don't have enough friends who've lived through their 30s and above.

But hear this: If you're in your 20's and especially if you're in your teens I cannot stress enough how much you SO do not need to sweat finding someone.

It'll happen, but first and formost you gotta learn who you are and how to be comfortable with yourself before you get with someone else. Things before age 23 and tenuous at best. Best friend was frelling engaged by age 19 cuz of the fear he felt. Didn't work out and now he's slapping his forehead for not knowing ahead of time that things do end up being alright... that it's okay to be single and okay to wait.

So yeah.... teenagers, listen to your ToonZone Big Brothers.... no need to sweat. ;)

[mbaker]

Thanks for the advice. Meeting someone here in Toon Zone sounds like A good option, but I'll keep things casual. I don't have A specific place I'd want to work at while I'm trying to make it as an artist, and I sure as heck wouldn't want to work at Wally World. (Wal-Mart, not the theme park from "National Lampoon's Vacation") Anyway, here's my idea of the perfect girl. (Only brighter, and can kick butt.)

http://www.unmistakables.com/applegate/gallery/photo01.jpg

By the way, BlueAngelGal. Would it be okay we chat on Toon Zone? Please let me know.

[Digu Volz]

Don't you just hate it when people channel your thoughts. :p