Stupid E-Mail #4: Technically Challenged

[Daniel P]

The newest in the series of stupid e-mails. This is really funny!

SO YOU THINK YOU ARE TECHNICALLY CHALLENGED?
THINK AGAIN!!

Take heart, anyone among you who believes you are
technologically challenged, you "ain't seen nuthin' yet."

This is an excerpt from a "Wall Street Journal" article.

1. Compaq is considering changing the command
"Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of
the flood of calls asking where the"Any" key is.

2. AST technical support had a caller complaining
that her mouse was hard to control with the dust
cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic
bag the mouse was packaged in.

3. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his
troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door.
The customer asked the tech to hold on and was
heard putting the phone down, getting up and
crossing the room to close the door.

4. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't
get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes
of troubleshooting, the technician discovered the
man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding
it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the
"send" key.

5. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that
his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it
by filling up his tub with soap and water and
soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all
the keys and washing them individually.

6. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing
documents. He told the technician that the computer
had said it "couldn't find printer." The user had also
tried turning the computer screen to face the printer
but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer.

7. An exasperated caller to Dell Tech Support couldn't
get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring
the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her
what happened when she pushed the power button. Her
response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and
nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the
computer's mouse.

8. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem
with her printer. The tech asked her if she was running
it under "Windows." The woman responded, "No, my desk
is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man
sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and
his printer is working fine."

9. Tech Support: "O.K. Bob, let's press control and escape
keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the
middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring
up the Program Manager."
Customer: "I don't have a "P".
Tech: "On your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "I'm not going to do that!!!"

[Danielle]

.................well. I don't feel so computer-illiterate anymore. :D Well, my computer is COMPLETELY turned away from my printer...no wonder our documents came out all weird!


.................."P" on your keyboard.......hee hee...... :p

[Galaxia]

Originally posted by dacp3
1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the"Any" key is.

Homer Simpson: To start, press any key...where's the "any" key?

Hmm...a lot of complaints with Dell computers - must be those new Dell interns you see in their commercials...

[Shnay]

"4. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the
"send" key."

Wow. Did he think the computer was, um, watching him and his paper?

"5. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually."

Imagine the will it takes to do that. "Removing all the keys and washing them individually"? Whoa.

[turbomog007]

And I thought that I was bad when I got a B+ in Computer class

[James]

LOL they are great. I like the idea of making sure your PC can find your printer by placing it in front of the screen. That is pure class. And the dust cover for the mouse... my god, it's not that people are dim, but you wonder how they got to the conclusions they create!

[RZetlin]

I remember my computer instructor telling the class, "Always remember that a customer's common sense compares to the size of a tip of a pen!"

[Taiso]

I remember being in my local games store once, and the phone was ringing. When one of the staff answered the phone, the called asked if they fixed washing machines. When he replied "No, were's a games shop", the answer he got was "Why don't you fix washing machines?"
The guy had the speaker phone turned on, so all the customers had a good laugh about that one :D

[Lightwave]

LOL.

These things are hilarious. Its funny how ignorant people can be.

[Daniel P]

Originally posted by Lightwave
Its funny how ignorant people can be. Funny, but kind of disturbing. :eek:

[Outlander00]

Ugh... And just think... I had to DEAL with people like that when I was a tech :p

They should make techs a job with hazard pay available because of people like that... or at least free trips to the shrink :p

[Magwheel]

With regards to the "ignorant" remark, I quote http://rinkworks.com/stupid/, where it says "It's a baffling phenomenon that in today's society an individual, who might in other circumstances be considered smart and wise, can sit down in front of a computer screen and instantly lose every last shred of common sense he ever possessed." It's true, I've seen very smart people sit down at a computer and, or so it seems, have their brains disappear. I guess the technology can be that intimidating.

That's a link, by the way, to a huge collection of "Computer Stupidities." I feel kinda sorry for the people involved on the "stupid" end, but in some cases, more so for the poor techs. Come Again?, Amnesia, and Listen Already! are butaine, and there's even a Role Reversal (Stupid Techs, Stupid Salesmen) :D

[While you're at it, try http://rinkworks.com/brick/, "Don't Throw a Brick Straight Up - A Stupid Person's Guide To Life" Hilarious

[Watermelon]

W0W. Some people are really technachly challenged...idiots...although I have to say that was really funny. :D

[Sandro]

Cool, this makes me feel all the more smarter. However, I might have to deal with such dumbasses if I get a job as a computer support techie. It's funny nonetheless.

[Daniel P]

Originally posted by Magwheel
With regards to the "ignorant" remark, I quote http://rinkworks.com/stupid/, where it says "It's a baffling phenomenon that in today's society an individual, who might in other circumstances be considered smart and wise, can sit down in front of a computer screen and instantly lose every last shred of common sense he ever possessed." It's true, I've seen very smart people sit down at a computer and, or so it seems, have their brains disappear. I guess the technology can be that intimidating.

That's a link, by the way, to a huge collection of "Computer Stupidities." I feel kinda sorry for the people involved on the "stupid" end, but in some cases, more so for the poor techs. Come Again?, Amnesia, and Listen Already! are butaine, and there's even a Role Reversal (Stupid Techs, Stupid Salesmen) :D

[While you're at it, try http://rinkworks.com/brick/, "Don't Throw a Brick Straight Up - A Stupid Person's Guide To Life" Hilarious Those sites are funny! :D

[Pilmedium]

1. Compaq is considering changing the command
"Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of
the flood of calls asking where the"Any" key is.
That is really dumb, almost amusing. Also, I don't have a return key... seriously! :p (I know, I know, "enter")

2. AST technical support had a caller complaining
that her mouse was hard to control with the dust
cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic
bag the mouse was packaged in.
People are so excited to use a new product that they do not remember to take it out of the package. :rolleyes:

3. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his
troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door.
The customer asked the tech to hold on and was
heard putting the phone down, getting up and
crossing the room to close the door.
How could a door on the other side of the room have anything to do with a computer? :eek:

4. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't
get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes
of troubleshooting, the technician discovered the
man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding
it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the
"send" key.
Technology is not good enough for paper to be sucked through the monitor.

5. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that
his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it
by filling up his tub with soap and water and
soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all
the keys and washing them individually.
Not only is removing keys useless, but you also do not put soap on them.

6. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing
documents. He told the technician that the computer
had said it "couldn't find printer." The user had also
tried turning the computer screen to face the printer
but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer.
That person should have checked for eyes on the computer, or a similar device.

7. An exasperated caller to Dell Tech Support couldn't
get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring
the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her
what happened when she pushed the power button. Her
response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and
nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the
computer's mouse.
Why was the mouse on the ground? How could it be used to turn on a computer any way?

8. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem
with her printer. The tech asked her if she was running
it under "Windows." The woman responded, "No, my desk
is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man
sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and
his printer is working fine."
Light from windows does not power a printer, or anything similar.

9. Tech Support: "O.K. Bob, let's press control and escape
keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the
middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring
up the Program Manager."
Customer: "I don't have a "P".
Tech: "On your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "I'm not going to do that!!!"
That is disturbing.

[RZetlin]

If you like stories about stupid people with technology then you will like this website (http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/).

[Sir Gatts]

Sadly most of these scenarios are true. I remember having one customer who has mistaken his CD-RW drive as a convenient coffee cup holder. Surprisingly the drive didn't break and continued to function properly.

[Lucky Bob]

I remember helping my aunt with her computer once. She had told me on the phone, "Half my screen is gray, and the other half is blue, and I can't get anything to run!" So, I was naturally quite concerned. Then, when I got there, I found that her taskbar had somehow been stretched to the midway point of her desktop, which happened to have blue wallpaper! So, while she's describing all the terrible things that have happened since her computer started acting this way, I shrunk the taskbar with one quick move of the mouse. Her response? "HOW'D YOU DO THAT?"

I also helped her out with a few other problems, but found that she had the slightly confusing habit of calling her computer a "modem" and her monitor a "computer." Needless to say, it was an exhausting experience.

[Pilmedium]

Anyone can make silly mistakes even if the situation is obvious. These are such mistakes mixed with some stupidity.

[Shnay]

Originally posted by Sir Gatts
Sadly most of these scenarios are true. I remember having one customer who has mistaken his CD-RW drive as a convenient coffee cup holder. Surprisingly the drive didn't break and continued to function properly.

This cracked me up. I can just see him going, "Ooh, a cup holder. How convenient!"

All these tech support stories remind me of something I find online once. I can't remember the link, though, so I'll try to type it as best as I remember. It's a phone conversation between a tech support guy (TS) and a customer (C) with the wrong number

TS: Hello, tech support.
C: Water heaters?
TS: Pardon?
C: Water heaters?
TS: Umm...
C: Water heaters?
TS: I'm sorry, I don't understand.
C: Is this the place I call to have my water heater repaired?
TS: No, this is a computer tech support number.
C: Oh...(long pause)
TS: Well...goodbye.
C: ....okay.
[hangs up]

She sure was intent on getting her water heater fixed.

[Watermelon]

Originally posted by Taiso
I remember being in my local games store once, and the phone was ringing. When one of the staff answered the phone, the called asked if they fixed washing machines. When he replied "No, were's a games shop", the answer he got was "Why don't you fix washing machines?"
The guy had the speaker phone turned on, so all the customers had a good laugh about that one :D

Your kidding! That is hillarious. Better then the above stroies! :p

[Pilmedium]

Originally posted by Shnay
All these tech support stories remind me of something I find online once. I can't remember the link, though, so I'll try to type it as best as I remember. It's a phone conversation between a tech support guy (TS) and a customer (C) with the wrong number

TS: Hello, tech support.
C: Water heaters?
TS: Pardon?
C: Water heaters?
TS: Umm...
C: Water heaters?
TS: I'm sorry, I don't understand.
C: Is this the place I call to have my water heater repaired?
TS: No, this is a computer tech support number.
C: Oh...(long pause)
TS: Well...goodbye.
C: ....okay.
[hangs up]

Wrong number incidents can be funny, like that one. It is surprising how frequently they occur.