Just Another Day In Paradise...

[The Guard]

Yeah, I've got a relationship...thingie.

Now, as most of you know or can probably guess, I am, of course, fiercely antisocial. So it comes as somewhat of a...massive shock when people initiate conversation. It comes as an even bigger shock when said person is a female. I'm currently working on a play at college, and there was a girl there that I noticed, but didn't actually talk to or anything. Ok, so I talked to her once in a while, but usually some stupid joke or something. I need someone to analyze the following information and give me an opinion. I don't trust my own. :)

DAY ONE

I'm sitting (light years away from everyone) in the first row of the auditorium, waiting for my turn to go up and rehearse onstage, when this girl (henceforth, she will be called "girl") gets up. Now, in my head, I heard myself say "she's coming over here", but of course I didn't believe my own ESP. Anyway, the girl walked over, looked right at me, and this happened...

GIRL
I'm going to sit here, is that ok?

ME
No, but you're going to anyway.

Now, I thought this would upset her, but she just laughed and sat down beside me. And she proceeded to begin the first of, oh...23 conversations we had that night, on subjects ranging from reincarnation to why she didn't look like a little boy. She also proceeded to do that "almost leaning on, but not quite" thing. Night ended, and I thought it was a fluke, so I went home.

DAY TWO

I walk into the auditorium and Girl is sitting with another guy, listening to him talk about his new sweater purchase. I walk past, sit down in my usual spot, and wish that the previous night hadn't been a fluke. 30 seconds pass, and Girl gets up, grabs her stuff, hurries over and sits down. About this time, my left arm is beginning to become numb, because I'm having a heart attack. She starts talking again, and this time the conversations have more to do with how she doesn't trust most people, how her bra is too lacy, and how she is "clingy, and always has to be in a relationship". She also decides that the ground is not a good place for her legs to be, and that my lap is much more comfortable. Then, that's not enough, and she's got to lean her head on my shoulder, and completely collapses. I spend the night wondering why she's laughing at everything I'm saying. The night ends with her mentioning that she's parked way out in the parking lot, and me having to stay late and rehearse some more instead of walking her out to her car.

DAY THREE

She's not there. Not there at all, and all the seats fill up fast. Then she comes in (she was working) dressed in quite possibly the sexiest cat outfit I've ever seen. Black spandex pants and tail, a bright orange shirt, cat's ears, and the classic whiskers and nose painted on. Since there are no seats left near me, I can't sit with her. I do overhear her backstage saying something which sounds like "my boyfriend" to another girl. Later, when I come back from being onstage, I sit with her (because she's taken the seat I had before), and she sings me the song she wrote (lyrics at least). Then, backstage, she manages to forget she doesn't have to be there, and starts telling me about...what I can only assume are relationship things, something about talking behind people's backs and so forth. Then, back in the auditorium...

GIRL
What would I do if you weren't here to talk to?

ME
Talk to someone else.

Which she finds hilarious for some odd reason. Once again, I have to stay afterward because people can't learn their damned lines on time, and she's going to leave. Except that she doesn't leave. She takes forever to get her stuff together, and then sits down and waits. And she's not waiting for anyone onstage, because it's me, a 40 year old guy, and some guy she never talks to. And she's not hanging around for anyone in the auditorium, because there's only an 11 year old from our cast there. She eventually left after the director said how long we were going to be.

Anyway, I sort of like her, and I can't for the life of me figure out why she would go to all the trouble she has to talk to someone who, to be quite honest, gives no indication of having a human personality. So...I don't know. I'm kind of curious about why she brought up certain things, and I'm not against asking for her number or something, but I don't want to jump to conclusions and see something that isn't there. She's nice, she seems fairly intelligent, and I can tell already that she's a good person, even if she is a little "die hard Christian" :).

Thoughts? Opinions? Clairvoyance?

[Leaping Larry Jojo]

All I can say is that judging from the above information, you're already several steps past my current situation, which hasn't gotten anywhere near "lukewarm" yet.

[cross blues]

I am going to start by saying I've only had two girlfriends ever so whatever you choose to take from this is at your own risk.

Ok so "girl" is obviously interested in you but for what? Maybe she wants to be the one who got that antisocial guy to talk, maybe she needs a friend, maybe she's clingy and needs a guy fast, or maybe she is interested in a relationship with you. What you said is pretty much how girls flirt (I think), so she was flirting with you. The question now is what do you want to do about it? If you like her, you could always ask her out for coffee or even dinner if you're feeling brave. If you're not sure, just keep being friendly and maybe a bit suggestive and wait to see if she makes any kind of move. Oh and I don't know how you felt about it, but having her legs on your lap and head on your shoulder is nice but extremely clingy... also if she was talking about not being able to trust people, I'd be careful about trusting her. Telling someone that usually gets the person to lower his/her guard pretty fast, whether that was the initial intention or not. good luck, hope I helped :)

[The Guard]

DAY FOUR:

She has a boyfriend. I heard her say it to someone else. But she still hung around me, got "pissed" when someone took the seat beside me, because "everybody knows that's MY seat", and various other things, touchy feely type stuff. I think I'm a mascot or something. Oh well.

[Leaping Larry Jojo]

Naturally.

[The Guard]

I did get her email address (she said her computer is too slow for IM), but I didn't think it'd be right to ask for her phone number just now.

[Dark Vicious]

Problems with women again eh Guard?

Anyways remember this: Nothing from nothing leaves nothing

Which means if you don't do anything and she don't do anything nothing is going to happen

Yeah try to punch out her boyfriend or try to as I say "Kick the crap out of the dude she's dating"

[The Guard]

I don't consider this a problem. Being accused of attempted rape, that's a problem. This...this is just an interesting situation. Which I have no problem with.

[Dark Vicious]

That's nice that you can move on and try to keep away from any misunderstandings this time I suck at giving advice as you can tel but I try to help out souls in need

[The Guard]

Appreciate it. :)

[Leaping Larry Jojo]

Originally posted by Dark Vicious
Problems with women again eh Guard?

Anyways remember this: Nothing from nothing leaves nothing

Which means if you don't do anything and she don't do anything nothing is going to happen

Yeah try to punch out her boyfriend or try to as I say "Kick the crap out of the dude she's dating"

Yeah, but it's not his fault she's such a flirt. Just because she's taken, though, won't stop someone who wants to know her to get to know her, though. Anything can happen in the future.

[The Guard]

I refuse to torpedo a relationship.

[Dark Vicious]

I told you I suck at giving advice

[Digu Volz]

Originally posted by The Guard
I refuse to torpedo a relationship.

Good man.

.....

Now go steal his woman. It'll make you 'more' of a man. :rolleyes:

[Nightflower]

Originally posted by Digu Volz
Good man.

.....

Now go steal his woman. It'll make you 'more' of a man. :rolleyes:
Feh. You sure you want her? She seems like a dumb flirt to me.

[The Guard]

I'm not sure.

[BayouLady]

don't waste you time on this chick


oh yeah, nice use of a phil collins song title "just another day in paradise"

[Leaping Larry Jojo]

Some people like to flirt with danger.

[The Guard]

?

Not sure I understand that reference. Please elaborate.

[BayouLady]

Phil Collins has a song called "Just another day in paradise"

it has nothing to do with your situation, but I thought it was odd to use that title as your thread.

[The Guard]

I got bored, and I'd heard the song like five minutes before. :)

[Barb Gordon]

I've known girls like this, boy do they bug me. Okay, seriously she's either super ditzy and doesn't really she's putting the moves/flirting with you, or she's a tramp and purposefully flirting with you even though she has a boyfriend. Girl's do those moves all the time. The sitting next to a guy, getting to know him through endless talking, suddenly leaning on him. Heck, I did that! Of course I did that with my boyfriend :p Some girls do it to be playful, especially with guy friends if they both know they're just fooling around and having fun. Some girls do it intentionally to get a guy to like them even though they themselves aren't interested, and some girls are just kinda confused. They may do all those things, and really don't realize what they're doing and what it looks like to the guy or others, or just why they're doing it. Do they like you, a lot or a little? Are they trying to come on to you but don't know what to do after a certain point? It could be a crush, she could be playing on you. It's your choice to make on what she's doing. Me personally, from what you've written, especially if she has a boyfriend, then it sounds like she's been a bit of a jerk and a tramp and flirting with you for the heck of it.

~Barb

[The Guard]

It's not so much that I WANT this girl. I just loathe mysteries. If she needs something...that's all right. If she needs to talk about something or dump something, ect, I don't mind, as long as it eventually happens. I hate being played with. I hate it with a passion that defies all logic. So I guess what I need to know is...is it a bad idea to actually confront her about it? Because people have definitely noticed it's going on. And now I'm being bombarded from all sides with the same old "she likes you", "ask her out", ect, ect, ect. Which I also hate with a passion that defies all logic.

[Kal-el]

It might be a good thing to at least keep her close. It sounds like you're interested in her, and just that seems to be tormenting you somewhat. Don't forget that we can't always choose the people that we're attracted to. It just kinda happens, even when we fight it.
A similar situation happened to me in college. This girl sat closer to me every day, and eventually started talking to me about anything and everything. She was attractive and very engaging, even though I didn't want her to be (for my own safety). I never went out of my way to talk to her or sit by her, but things contuinued on throughout the semester. Near the end of the semester, I overheard her talking to som frieds of hersabout her boyfriend and how he asked her to marry him. I laughed sarcastically under my breath, thinking "whatever"...but when they asked her what she said when he asked her, she said she broke up with him. This basically caused me to stop breathing for what seemed like 10 minutes. I hated the feeling, but liked it at the same time.
To sum up, I didn't blow her off even when I wanted to. We eventually dated and had a very good relationship.

[I.R Joey]

Why don't you just confront her openly, and put her on the spot? Then she has to tell you what she thinks, and you can solve your mystery.

[Leaping Larry Jojo]

Some people like mysteries, though they don't know it. Most likely some people are just afraid of the consequences of finding out.

Speaking of which, I'm going to take an active stance on *my* current situation with da mysterious ice-queen. She no-showed today, but I'm going to try getting the ball rolling the next time I see her. HOW far I'll roll it is the real question, but looks like once again--like I have done in the past--I'll have to be the one to pursue and gamble with what chances I've got.

Dice, please. :cool:

[The Guard]

Well, despite my best efforts, Girl still refuses to leave me alone. She refuses to acknowledge that I'm a complete and total jerk, and insists on sitting and talking with me whenever she can. Tonight she made me walk her out to her car across the parking lot in the thunderstorm. You'd think she'd never seen thunder and lightning. Maybe nothing serious, but it would appear that I've made a new friend. So that's what that feels like. :)

[Chris Sanders MSX]

Originally posted by The Guard
Well, despite my best efforts, Girl still refuses to leave me alone. She refuses to acknowledge that I'm a complete and total jerk, and insists on sitting and talking with me whenever she can. Tonight she made me walk her out to her car across the parking lot in the thunderstorm. You'd think she'd never seen thunder and lightning. Maybe nothing serious, but it would appear that I've made a new friend. So that's what that feels like. :)


When your a sarcastic a-hole, some people(girls) get a kick out of it. ALL the stuff you said to her is stuff I've said to a good number of the girl's I've dated. They all think it's hillarious and charming. This girl sounds like she's a flirt. She's a little too blunt for my tastes.

And the fact that she told you that she can't be without a relationship also tells me she's the kind of girl who while she's dating one guy will latch onto another, giving her a reason to break up with her old boyfriend and being with the new guy tills he gets bored again. I can almost guarentee that you could date her but you won't stay with her, so don't fall in love and just atke the relationship for what it is. When it ends, it ends.

Just ahve fun with the flirting for now. If you want more, start dating her but don't get attatched. Good relationships rarely start this way.

[Leaping Larry Jojo]

I think he's made up his mind what he's going to do already.

You know, sometimes these relationship situations have just got to play itself out. You learn through experience, and sometimes all the advice in the world is useless. Speaking for myself, I've made several mistakes in my life, relationship wise, and I have never regretted the consequences. More than once I've been left standing outside in the rain while I said "goodbye" to someone as she drove away from me or tearfully left me in the night after we split up.

And you know, it ain't that bad. I don't regret anyone I've been with; even the "bad" women in my past had good things to say or to teach me about life.

So, standing out in the rain, I do what any man should do. Don't cry, don't whine, don't regret. I smile wistfully and take the long way home. :)

[The Guard]

"My boyfriend was being a jerk. He said: Do you think it's ok if we see other people?"

[Kal-el]

What was her response?

[The Guard]

No. That's what she said. I did write her an email last night, though. She seemed to appreciate it.

[Captain Yurika]

Wow, after reading through all of this, I'd have to agree with Chris here. She's a latcher and she's latching on to you along with the bf till they break up.
I had a friend like that, although all her relationships were complete disasters. She'd date a guy, meet another, flirt with him go out with both, then lose one or the other. :rolleyes: Now she has 2 kids under the age of 2.

Of course, I'm not saying that's your fate or her's, and you have your own life to lead but I'd keep a careful distance with her till she reveals her true intentions.
By the way, have you hinted around at all about what she's really after? Or just asked her?

[The Guard]

I haven't even approached the subject.

[Outlander00]

Eh... Just roll with it and keep acting normal. She'll either get bored or she will talk to you more.. Maybe she just finds you interesting? This situation is a little hard to gauge at this point for me. Just be yourself (yes, for some strange reason some girls find a anti-social guy as being someone deeply intellectual or interesting... or a challenge at least :rolleyes: )

[The Guard]

Let's see...she did my makeup, she managed to hold hands at various times, she repeatedly punched me in the stomach, and she kept giving me "that look". She might be clingy, but she's clinging to the other guys there and actually interacting with me. Which is nice, but very confusing.

Sigh...I hate girls.

[The Guard]

Because it's 2 in the morning and I'm bored:

Our Opening Night was tonight. She did my makeup again, which is good, because I have no clue how. It's the way she did it that was interesting. More or less in her bra and sitting in my lap. Did the hand-holding thing again, and we had a nice, half-hour discussion backstage about the breakdown of morals in our society. Then, when I was about to slip away through the crowd afterwards, she left her b/f and pushed through roughly 200 people to catch me before I left and ask me if I was going to go to this resteraunt with the rest of the cast. Oh, and she listened to me spout useless BATMAN: THE MUSICAL, superhero movie and regular movie knowledge to the other cast members before the play, and then said she liked hearing it. Odd girl. Kinda cute, though.

[Taiso]

Who can understand women? I've had three longish relationships now and I still can't understand women.

She sounds like a flirt though. Flirts are always dangerous!

[Lucky Bob]

On an old Andy Griffith episode, Andy scared Thelma Lou and Ellie scared Barney when they actually RESPONDED to their advances.

Just a thought.

[The Guard]

But I don't want to scare her. :)

[Lucky Bob]

Originally posted by The Guard
But I don't want to scare her. :)

Like I said, just a thought.

Barbara Walters said that the best way to get rid of a superficial flirt is to flirt back. But again, just a thought.

Anyway, what have you to lose?

[Terminatah]

Originally posted by luckybob1985
Barbara Walters said that the best way to get rid of a superficial flirt is to flirt back. But again, just a thought.And Barbara Walters said this?

-Terminatah

[Leaping Larry Jojo]

Originally posted by luckybob1985
Like I said, just a thought.

Barbara Walters said that the best way to get rid of a superficial flirt is to flirt back. But again, just a thought.

Anyway, what have you to lose?

It doesn't seem like he wants to get rid of her.

It seems like he's interested in playing with this ball of fire, no matter what people here "warn" him about "superficial" flirts.

My advice? Do what you want. There's nothing wrong with doing nothing and there's nothing wrong with getting burned. I've learned that you just can't predict the future, and sometimes you just gotta go with your heart and mind and see where it all ends up.

A man's life is what he makes it. There is no right or wrong thing to do, but he should be prepared for the consequences of whatever decisions he makes.

[The Guard]

If you all know anything about me, you know that I've "been there, done that". And I can handle anything that comes my way.