OT: Playing God

[SilverKnight]

--This is a column that I've suddenly felt like starting, and I wanted to show you all my first one. If you like it, I'll continue.--

Playing God
Lesson I: Playing God
(What were you expecting? Bugs Bunny?)

>Requisite introduction crap<

Playing God. Yup. Doctors do that all the time. So do Lawyers and so do you. …okay, you can stop laughing now. I’m serious. Really. Stop laughing already. …thank you. Sheesh.

>"What the hell are you talking about?"<

Okay, we play God. Why, do you ask? Simple, we’re writers. Writers play god all the time. How? Well, think about it. When we write, we control every single aspect of our characters lives, from their look to their environment. That’s what being a writer’s all about. So, that being said, why should we give a damn? Because, we have an awesome power here, folks.

>"Huh?"<

Okay, let me verify. Now, I’m hardly qualified, but I’ve noticed things about people’s writing. There are numerous ways you can execute your great power for world-making. There, however, must be a beginning, and an end. Here, are what I believe the two extremes to be:

1. Happy God: All your stories are nice, happy, and have a good ending. Being a Happy God isn’t a bad thing at all, it’s always nice to read a good story. However, having all your stories having little pink flowers and butterflies prattling along in the clear blue sky can get old after a while.
2. Vengeful God: All your stories are dark, mean, and rarely if ever have a text-book "happy" ending. They are dark, brutal, and are remarkably realistic. Being a Vengeful God isn’t bad…I should know, I’m borderline vengeful myself. However, having all your stories with sharp jagged shadows hiding would-be thieves and murderers may put people off.

Neither of these extremes is bad, let me stress that. However, the problem with being a Happy/Vengeful God is that you’re stereotyped.

>"Yeah right. Look, when the meds wear off, let me know, okay?"<

Believe it. It happens. Everyone does it without realizing it. You read Joe-Bob’s first story, it’s about a pink little bunny finding it’s first carrot. Yay. You see Joe-Bob’s second story, it’s about a tiny fox befriending a little rabbit. Cool. This continues for several more stories, and then you come upon Joe-Bob’s fifteenth story, and the stories have become stale and uninteresting. Now, we’re intelligent, and it may not be about Little Bunny Foo-Foo, but judging by his trend, what are the odds it’s not?

>This has a point, believe it or not…<

Why’d I mention lil’ ol’ Joe-Bob and stereotypes? Because we play god. We have the amazing power to shape that little world that we create with our words. What we do with it depends upon how we diversify our writing. Yup, big word. Sounds like something a Stock-broker should be using, not some punk kid, right? Wrong.

As I said way back when, there are numerous ways you can use your power for world-making. What I gave above were the extremes. Here are what I believe are the more "clique-esque" of God-dom:

1. Smooch God: All your stories are based upon romance. Not bad, it’s nice to curl up to a nice…well, mouse pad and keyboard and just read your problems away. Not bad at all. Especially if you do it well. But, sometimes, doesn’t the prospect of getting lovey-dovey just make ya wanna puke? >ahem< Sorry, speaking from personal experience. Yeah…
2. Bad-ass Brawler God: All your stories are rock ‘em, sock ‘em thrillers that leave you hanging on the edge of your seat until you finally read the last word. Well, hopefully, anyway. Not a bad genre to go into. Lots in the guy population love this section, and I know quite a many girls that go for a guy that digs danger. Even if he’s just reading it on his monitor. Still…there are those that just don’t quite "get" it.
3. Slash God: All your stories are slash. Hey, I don’t care, I like slash stories. But that can REALLY turn people off…then again, if you’re writing slash, do you really care?
4. Freaky God: All your stories are supernatural stories. This genre has a damn-near cult-following, so you’re set. But, it’s an acquired taste.
5. Soap-Opera God: All your stories are dramatic. Perhaps even overly so. In every single story there is an earth-shattering, life-changing thing happening and the hero or heroine must decide what to do for the fate of the world or their life and/or sanity. Yes, I admit, I fall into this category a lot. Good story if you can write the emotions and problems well. But this is bad for the obvious reasons. Life is not a soap opera. Don’t act like it is. There are people in the world who gag at the sound of "I’m having your baby". Maybe it’s just me.
6. Bust-A-Gut God: All your stories are comedies. Very good genre to get involved in, however, with the obvious problems. You can have slapstick, which some may consider to be "stupid", a la Looney Toons; you can have crude humor that some would think too "low-brow" and "mean" a la South Park; and you can have the witty, though provoking stories that some people couldn’t understand if you electrocuted them with a…nevermind that. >grins< A la, Frasier or Titus. (Hey, that’s thought provoking…kind of…)
7. Heartstring God: All your stories are angsty, vignette-ish stories. Imagine this genre as drama on speed, and you’ll understand the problem.
8. Slasher God: All your stories are horror stories. Don’t confuse this with Slash God, BIG difference. This can go either way. Good points: Some can be terrifying, and some just straight gory. Bad points: Some can be terrifying, and some just straight gory. Get it?
9. Cerebral God: All your stories are science-fiction. Good genre, with a lot of opportunities to make new, original stories. Still, some people just like to conform.
10. La-La-Land God: All your stories are fantasy. Nice genre to write in for many the same reasons as the Cerebral God, but these two Gods often fight for power, and have cult followings, which tends to bring the reader number down.

What did that very long list have to do with anything? Those are genres or categories of stories. It’s never bad to continue writing in a genre you’re good at. But…why should you just limit yourself to one idea? We are given an astounding power to shape our world as we see fit, from their clothing, to their speech, to their smallest bits of personality. It’s a heavy responsibility when done right. But it’s a fun one too.

>"Okay. So, could you, like, get to the damn point please?"<

Okay, one more list. …stop groaning, it’s not that long. Now that I’ve gotten through all that, it’s simple from here. Here’s all the types of Gods that use their given powers to their fullest:

1. Smart God: All your stories are…well, lemme see…there’s a romance one, and a few dramas, a couple of comedies…oh! There’s a fantasy one too! Sweet! What else…there’s also a romance one, oh naughty naughty! Hm…what else…some are very dark, but some are glorified fluff pieces. In short, it has everything in there.

That’s the type of God we should be, folks. There’s no shame in writing what we love, but we should try to explore in that vast beyond…after all, isn’t that what our characters do? They face the unknown with grins on their faces and weapons at their side, whether it is a sword, a gun, or a light saber. We’re Playing God when we write, my friends, the least we should do is share the wealth.

>Requisite funny quote<

I’m a smart ass, so therefore I must place an amusing quote in here at some point. I find it fitting that I use my own trademark as the first requisite quote. So, here goes…

"Oh, don’t get me wrong, I have A LOT of luck…it’s just all bad."

>Goodbye crap<

Well, normally there’d be something here to read, but hey, it’s my first time. Was it good for you too? >winks<

[SilverKnight]

>blinks< Nada? >crickets chirp< ...guess not...

Oh, by the way, Batgirl, thanks for the review. You're only one so far to steadily encourage me along. I really appreciate that. :)

[Panther]

Interesting thoughts, all of which I agree with. Probably why writing can be so ... what word do I want? alluring? addicting? heady? atractive? fun? :) take your pick.

Anyway, since this is a fanfcition board you posted this own it got me thinking about how different writers will take the same idea or character and create many stories from the same ideas.

In particular I thought of how Catwoman has been reworked over the years. Batman Returns had an interesting spin in making her, well, pyschotic. She was reworked several times in the cartoon series. She went from a part time animal preservantionist to a more darker character with an eye on more material values. I recently saw the 1960's version of Batman and Robin movie playing on tv and almost fell off my chair laughing, it was so silly. There, Catwoman was Russian (!?!?) and had cast her lot complty with "The Bad Guys". Recently I saw a cross-over comic book with Batman and tarzan chasing after a thief called the Cat Woman (the space makes all the difference) who turned out to be an African princess. And now in the comicbooks I hear she has been re-rendered as a hispanic chicitita.

Well, a legion of writers have certainly worked her out over the decades! She walks a tetter-totter balance beam between good and evil, reminding that perhaps one can be both. She changes costumes, hairstyles, ethnics, image, origins, age, motive, morals, principals, homes, and yet she remains THE catburgler just slightly distracted by Batman and Bruce Wayne.

And always, throughout it all, come hell or high water - she loves cats.

Who can resent a character like that?

[SilverKnight]

:) Thanks Panther.

See, that's what I was thinking. No idea is truly original, but the way you word/work the story makes all the difference. IE Cat Woman, or Catwoman being a psycho or Russian. That's what makes writing so challenging and fun. Because if you have a really kick ass idea it's fun, but it's challenging to keep it original, ya know? pfft, you write, of course you know. :D

Actually, I wrote a second "column" if you wanna read it. I'll post it here, and if ya want to, I'll keep doing it. Thanks for the kudos Panther. :) Your story kicks ass, by the way. :D I've forgotten to reply to it, but I'm totally enthralled for the next part. Anywho...

[SilverKnight]

Playing God

Lesson II: Proper Preparation
(Look, just ‘cause I don’t do it doesn’t mean YOU shouldn’t.)

>Requisite introduction crap<

Proper preparation. Yeah. Sounds like a total waste of your time, right? I mean, come on, isn’t it just more fun to go on the fly? Maybe it is, but unless you are one good bull****ter (which I happen to be—runs in the family) said story won’t come off looking too good, if you don’t have some clue as to what you plan to do.

>"What the hell are you talking about?"<

Okay, it’s fun to go write whatever comes to mind, right? C’mon…you know it is. …okay, maybe not. Well…>ahem<…it’s fun. But the whole point of people reading stories and/or fanfiction is they want a good story. They want to be intrigued, enthralled, mystified, all those big fancy words reviewers tend to use in the LA Times. Readers want that, and to be honest, don’t you?

>"Huh?"<

Don’t believe me, huh? …I’ll take that laughter as a "yes". Let me clarify then. Whether the idea hits you like a freight train or creeps up on you like some sort of little bug, it’s a good idea to do something with it. Going on the fly, making it up as you go along isn’t bad at first. After a while, though, there has to be some sort of planning involved, as to make the story as a whole better.

Now, not all stories need real planning involved. Some stories are amazing through just sheer inspiration and enthusiasm alone. Such as:
[list=1]
The "Fluff" piece: The story has no real deep plot, and is pure fun. These aren’t bad. They’re very fun to read, and in fact, these are stories that don’t really need much if any planning whatsoever.
The Vignette: The story it taken from a moment in time, and is meant as retrospection. Okay, this may have some planning involved, but more often than not, vignette’s are short, and explore someone’s feelings. Feelings don’t always have to be planned out; they just are. [/list=1]

What does that mean? Planning isn’t always necessary. But it is welcomed. However, if you notice, both the fluff piece and the vignette are short pieces intended for either fun or retrospection. Not much really goes on within them. In short, the bigger the story, the more the planning.

>"Yeah right. Look, when the meds wear off, let me know, okay?"<

Seriously. A short vignette or a fluff piece, while fun and/or deep, doesn’t have very much substance in them, by way of a true plot. However, as stories tend to get longer and more complicated, the planning stage becomes all the more important a step. Whup-te-do, you say. Planning is so boring. By the time I get done planning, I don’t feel like writing it anymore. Well, I’ve been where you are. And unfortunately in my case, whenever I get inspiration for a story, the scene I’m dying to write is almost always around the end of the story. Which sucks, believe me. But if you honestly want to get to that part, it’s better to bare down and get the skeleton of the story down, so you can get to said part you really, really want to write quicker than just going on the fly and making the entire story suck.

>This has a point, believe it or not…<

Don’t worry, there’s a method to my madness. Planning isn’t always that hard, or boring. In fact, I’ve often found out that planning a story makes me ever more enthusiastic about writing it than just writing the one scene.

Well, here are a few tips I’ve found particularly useful in making sure that a) your outline makes sense, and b) your outline can be as best as possible in the shortest amount of time. No accessories are even needed; not even the little magic wand and fairy dust you bought from the local shop. Well, anywho, here are a few of my tips:
[list=1]
Bass Ackwards?: Start from the end and go to the beginning. Yeah, sounds weird, eh? But it’s true. If you’re like me, your kick ass idea always starts around the end, somewhere, and it sucks, because you have to get there, right? Well, here’s what I do. Start from wherever your humble snippet of an idea begins, and work backwards.
WTF??: Ask questions. Why does this character do that? Where are they? When did they get there? For what reason? How did he do that to her? What were his motives? Trust me, it pays to be thorough, because I guarantee you, if you’re not, someone else will be. From those questions, you’ll be able to form some sort of general idea to work on, and it’s much easier to work your way back.
Herring Anybody?: ry to add some twists into the story. [/i]Don’t just have person A does this to person B, unless it’s some sort of "reaction" story to said thing person A does to person B. .oO(Did that even make sense?) If not, then your story will have to some sort of twist and/or red herring involved. After all, aren’t straight roads just boring to drive down? Well imagine that as a story. Yeah.
Who Did the What Now?: Keep the action organized. Well…at least in the outline. If there’s a big-ass brawl going on in a house (which just so happens to be going on in an RPG I’m playing in) try to keep it as clear as possible what’s going on. If you want everything to be a big jumble, then keep the descriptions of what’s going on short. Otherwise, it’ll become confusing, but in a bad way.
Are they on crack??: Keep your IDEAS organized. All too often, we are in the middle of a story when a completely different idea pops into your head, and you want to write that one so bad, that you lose your train of thought. If that happens, and you just simply need to address the new idea, either write it down somewhere where you can remember it later, take a mental note of it, or just try to incorporate it into your story. Hey, it can happen. [/list=1]

Well no one has ever disputed that I’m weird, but hopefully those few tips made some sense. I’m not sure how well they make work to sane people with a brain, but hey, stranger things have happened. I mean, remember when John Tesh won that Grammy? …oh wait, that never happened, did it? Hm, well I guess stranger things haven’t happened, after all.

>"Okay. So, could you, like, get to the damn point please?"<

Alright, alright…Sheesh. Getting to the point, going on the fly is never a bad thing. That’s what gives us our flare and our originality in our stories. I mean, rehashed stories are exactly that: rehashed. And more often than not, they aren’t read as often, unless word gets around that it’s extremely good. But, just because the first part of the story wasn’t planned doesn’t mean all of it should be. After all, we are playing God when we do this, our power should be used to it’s fullest.

>Requisite funny quote<

I’m a smart ass, so therefore I must place an amusing quote in here at some point. Okay, so my quote sucked. Deal with it. This week’s quote I have lifted from the ever-crude but oh-so-funny Simpsons. So, here it goes:

"I never thought it was possible…but this both sucks and blows."

Okay, maybe it wasn’t exact, but I think that’s the way it goes.

>Goodbye crap<

Well, you have survived another one of my gauntlets. And if it weren’t for those measly little kids, I would’ve gotten away with it, too! Oh…wait…sorry, wrong show…

--There ya go!--

[SilverKnight]

--Since Halloween is coming up...--

Playing God

Lesson III: Realistic Characters
(Uh oh…>runs<)

>Requisite introduction crap<

re·al·is·tic adj. [list=1]
Tending to or expressing an awareness of things as they really are: She gave us a realistic appraisal of our chances.
Of or relating to the representation of objects, actions, or social conditions as they actually are: a realistic novel about ghetto life. [/list=1]
Yes, don’t you just love reading from a dictionary? Sheesh. Well, what that’s supposed to tell you the basics of what the word “realistic” means. “No ****,” you say. Well, how can you know how to write a realistic character if you don’t even comprehend the word itself? >ducks under table as a flurry of rotten tomatoes are hurled forth< Alright, alright, I’ll stop insulting your intelligence.

>“What the hell are you talking about?”<

Okay, getting to the point, you need to know what realistic means in order to make a…well, realistic character. Yeah, don’tcha just love my vocabulary? >shakes head< All stories have to have characters; I mean, that’s what a story revolves around. I’ve yet to find a story where it revolves around an un-personified piece of fruit. But, a big difference between a kick ass story and a really sucky story is how the characters are portrayed.

>“Huh?”<

>ducks another barrage of tomatoes< Missed me! >ahem< Anywho… Like I said, the difference between a good story and a bad one depends on the characters’ portrayal, or how you show them in the story. If the characters don’t act in a way you’d think a normal person—or even a screwed-up person—would act, then the whole plot seems forced and generally blah.

Alrighty, I’m probably not making much sense. But, there are two extremes in characters that make them look flat and/or boring in the long scheme of things. At least, in my opinion. And they are:
[list=1]
The Cardboard Cutout: The character is one-sided and has no depth. “Joe-Bob has a little brother, Stu-Bob. One day, Joe-Bob does something wrong, and Stu-Bob rats on him, getting Joe-Bob into trouble. Papa-Bob yells at Joe-Bob, and Joe-Bob promises never to do it again. The next day, Joe-Bob goes outside, and Stu-Bob rats on Joe-Bob, and gets him in trouble...” You notice how Stu-Bob is seen only as the annoying little brother? He’s there for no other reason than to get Joe-Bob in trouble. Stu-Bob has no depth, he’s just there. This is the bane of supporting characters; whether they’re good or bad. It makes the stories bland and predictable, and who wants to read that?
The Schitzo: The character changes so much that it’s impossible to tell how they’re going to act. Okay, this one isn’t as bad as the first one, but it’s still a pain in the ass to read about. This is the exact opposite of the Cardboard Cutout; instead of never changing, they always change. That may be good for a character who has yet to “find who they are” or whatever, (and, mind you, it has to be justified, too) but for an established villain and/or character, that’s a big no-no. Why? Because people enjoy reading about people they can relate to, or who they’re familiar with, getting into different situations. However, if the same character changes dramatically every singe story, it becomes impossible to predict what they’re going to do. And, while that may sound like a good thing, it also becomes impossible to enjoy any of the traits that you relate to. And when you can’t relate to anything in a story, you don’t read it, right? …okay, I’m ranting. >ahem<[/list=1]

These may not be bad, if you’re doing something comedic, where you can make fun of stuff like this, I guess. >shrugs< But, in dramatic stories, and especially in original ones, these two are like the Black Plague of original fanfiction. Evil vermin! >pulls out a flamethrower< Die, you little bastards, DIE! >blinks< Oh, sorry! >puts flamethrower away< Um, what was I saying? Oh, yeah! These extremes aren’t often seen, but you’ll know once you see them. I mean, the only you really need to do to keep from going to extremes is to find a happy medium.

>“Yeah right. Look, when the meds wear off, let me know, okay?”<

…look, just because I said find a happy medium doesn’t mean you’re supposed to laugh at me, thank you very much. Hmph. Yeah, anyway. What I mean by happy medium >glares at hecklers< is that you find a halfway point, where the characters aren’t always doing the same thing, but their personalities aren’t changing quicker than Madonna’s wardrobe. Meaning, they change, but it shows the reader—all those nice people out there who love us so—a closer look into said character’s psyche or ego, or whatever the hell it’s called.

>This has a point, believe it or not…<

“How in the holy Hell do I manage to find a ‘happy medium’,” you ask? It’s quite simple. Well…actually, it’s not…um…yeah…

This coming from the queen mother of deep characters—pfft, yeah right—I’ve decided to give you a few pointers on just how to find that happy little midpoint that gives your people that “I can’t believe it’s not true that someone wears spandex and flies around a city” quality. Have I alienated anybody yet? No? Good. >grins evilly< Well, here are my little “helpful hints” on how to make a convincing Halloween costume with nothing but a piece of belly-button lint and a coconut. Oh, wait, sorry ‘bout that. Damn Martha Stewart, damn her to hell…:
[list=1]
He did WHAT?: Let the character do something different. Don’t let your character do the same thing every singe time. It’s good to have familiarity, of course, but allow them to be branched out. The worst kind of character there is, is the one with a gimmick. >shudders<
Definitely, definitely good…: Don’t repeat the same reactions. It’s good to have characters grounded. I mean, if someone has a certain personality, they’re bound to act a certain way, right? Well that’s true, but don’t let them get stuck in a rut of repeating the same actions and reactions to things. Gets boring after a while. And I hate drooling over my keyboard.
What’d you do, cut you hair with a weed-whacker?: Establish a certain physical difference. Not everybody looks the same. Give the person some attribute, some distinctiveness that distinguishes them from the pack. Maybe it’s their eyes, maybe it’s their hair, (or the lack thereof) or maybe a mix of both. You never know. Give them an accent, a strut. Make them flamboyant, or subdued. Give ‘em a Mohawk for all I care, just do something that shows them to be different somehow.
Mmm…brains…: Give the character some originality. Don’t make the person a shallow, one-sided, brain-dead person. That is, unless you want them to be…but that’s another story entirely. Perhaps they’re extremely intelligent. Maybe they’re good with numbers, or with weapons. Maybe they’ve got a chip on their shoulder, or maybe they’re eager to help anybody. They can be a bad-ass or a do-gooder. Do something that, even if at first, gives your character a different attitude or look on things. I mean, no two people are exactly alike, right? >stares at various twins and triplets standing around her< Um…heh, well I’ll be…
Wha’chu talkin’ ‘bout Willis?: Try not to use one-liners. Ah yes…the inevitable one-line shot that everyone remembers from one character. That’s good—for a while. But then, instead of adding the one-liner to the story, you have to start adding the story to the one-liner, and it gets tiresome, for both you and the reader. So, what to do? Refer to tip number one; in other words, don’t do it. One of your characters may have a small vocabulary, but that doesn’t mean they say the same thing to everything. I mean, they aren’t mindless automatons. >looks around to see various zombies< I think…[/list=1]

Now there are exceptions to every rule, and these obviously apply. .oO(Isn’t that contradiction then?) >shakes head< Yeah, well, take my opinion for what it’s worth, which really isn’t much when you think about it. But hey, it’s all good. I’m never gonna get paid for writing this stuff anyway, so what does it matter if I give crap advice? >smiles< I’m getting off track, though…

>“Okay. So, could you, like, get to the damn point please?”<

>ducks tomato and pulls out flamethrower< Alright, that’s it! One more and someone’s gonna be turned into tomato flambé! …thought so. >puts flamethrower away< Well, the point of me doing all this is to tell you that in order to have a good story, you have to have characters that you’d actually like to read about. And nobody likes to read about something they can’t at least relate to in some sense. Am I actually making sense for once? Well, I hope so. So there.

>Requisite funny quote<

I’m a smart ass, so therefore I must place an amusing quote in here at some point. Yes, it’s another Simpsons quote, but hey, it’s Halloween. And since the Simpsons are legendary for their Halloween specials…>evil grin<

“The doll’s trying to kill me, and the toaster’s been laughing at me!”

>Goodbye crap<

Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of beer…you take one down, pass it around, ninety-eight bottles of beer on the wall…ninety-eight bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-eight bottles of be—oh! My bad! >ahem< Um…bye?

--There ya go!--