I have something to say

[Magentabeams]

I don't know where to begain with this but, I just needed to tell someone this. I don't want you guys to feel sorry for me but, I think you guys can help.
Ever since I started school, I been teased and put down. And now it still happens worst than before. For the last 4 years I am been harassed, had stuff thrown at me, and have had almost been run over all by one girl. I mean I can't ever speak if I am with a group of people in the same room or bus as her, without something bad happening to me. And I shouldn't have to put up with this at this age , I am going to be a junoir, but, I can't do anything. This whole summer I haven't enjoyed myself very much just of the thought that I have to go back to school next month and put up with this another year. I can't put up with it much more, I am so paranoid to go in public because of her put downs, I feel like everyone is staring at me and judging me. I feel like the worst person in the world. Look wise and personity. I can't be myself anymore at school and on the bus. It is just eating at me til I feel like I am going to go mental. Sometimes, I'll end up crying at night when noone is around and right now I am kind of teary eyed.
I just had to share this with someone, because, my mom and dad are sick of hearing of it, and my sister dosen't care. Hopefully, someone can give me some solutions on what to do. One day I would like to help people with problems like mine somehow. But, I'll have to help myself somehow first.


Sarahanne

[Weatherman]

For starters *gives Sarahanne a big hug* :)



Now for the real post. :p


Ouch. :( I know how you feel. I had one girl would not stop hrassing me on the bus ride home. Only thing that stopped that was the end of school, so I'm probably a lousy example. :^\ Talk to your school's guidance counselor/principal/security guard/the local police/anyone in power as what this girl is doing goes beyond school yard bullying into outright harassment, and that's illegal. Get some proof of what she's doing, a picture, video, tape reccoding, something and report her.

Just remember that as bad as it looks there, most of us here will be your friend, will listen and generally be there if you need a shoulder to cry on.


Also, as bad as you feel becuase of this, she probably feels worse about herself which is why she lashes out at a convinent traget, that unfortunately being you. :(

[Magentabeams]

I have tried the school counsenlor about 2 years ago,The counsenlor called this girl in her office and we had to sit there. This girl just sat there and lied to her. The girl was like I am trying to stop harrasing people and Sarahanne's just lieing. I tried taping her once, but, somehow she knows I have a recorder.
I want to thank you for supporting me. And it is good to know someone has been through what I have. :)

Sarahanne

[Weatherman]

There's ALWAYS someone who has gone through anything you've gone through. Humanity's been around way too long for it to be any other way. And you're quite welcome.


Well, just drop a minitape recorder like the one you can get at Radioshack into your pocket before school and turn it on as soon as you see her. Other wise, uhh, maybe flip her the bird next time she says a rude comment and walk away? Not much I can suggest that wouldn't get you in big trouble too. :(


IM me tonight, Weatherman2111 on AIM, YIM and MSN. I should be on after 10 pm. :)

[Leaping Larry Jojo]

Well, I'm a guy, so my experiences might be different, but I was once harassed by a girl when I was young. Well, "harassed" isn't exactly the right word, as I always had insulting comebacks to throw back at her. Needless to say, my quick mouth didn't exactly endear me to many girls when I was young. Wait, what am I talking about? I'm still like that now! *sob*

Anyway, I really don't have many answers for you. This is bullying, but it isn't extreme enough for you to get her in trouble.

All I can suggest is that you stand up for yourself and not care what anyone thinks of you if you get a little nasty verbally. If that's not in your nature...well...gotta ride it out I guess.

This reminds me of an episode I saw in an anime called GTO, where this kid was being bullied by a gaggle of girls. In the end, a friend (actually, his 21-year old punk teacher) helped him by, uh, catching the girls in their underwear and taking pictures of them and using the pictures as blackmail...uhhhhh...NO, you do not want to do that....

[Weatherman]

Throwing things, assuming it's more then paper balls and stuff like that, and definately trying to run some one over, assuming it was deliberate, definatelty rises to the level of illegality. Alot of us here probably have similar stories to share. *sigh* Such is the life of the geek. :rolleyes:

[Barb Gordon]

I use to have a girl or to in junior high, and one early in high school who just kept bothering me. Why? Because they didn't like me...and the reason for that was, dear me, I liked PE/sports, I got good grades and...worst thing of all....I was cheerful. *pfft* My sis and mom helped me, mom by telling me to ignore them...and my sis by giving me good comebacks,lol. When it got right down to it, I ignored them, only once to I get confrontational with a girl who was being a mega snot. She tried to shove me and I held my ground and grabbed her wrist and told her to don't even think about touching me again. She got all huffy and said she would get her friends to beat me up or something, I laughed. When I told one of my older friends she was like, I kill her ass next time she comes near you! Never saw that girl again.....If you've got friends, even if it's a core group of two or three of you, then stick with them. If they are really honest to god good friends the should be sticking up for you against this girl who sounds like a real demon. Other then that, try and get in a post or club that doesn't have her in it, completely tune out anything she says, and don't talk with her. Talking to them only encourages them, and if you ignore them they'll finally go away. But, when you first start to ignore them, those kinds of kids get really pissy because now they wanna know why you aren't listening to them. So things could get worse before they get better, but in the end, if you continue to ignore them, they'll finally just back off. That's been true for me about once or twice from snotty immature boys who would make remarks to me that would get me so angry. They were like flies, always annoying them. When I started to ignore them that at first got them talking more, but after awhile their attention span gave out and they gave up on me.

~Barb

[Leaping Larry Jojo]

Originally posted by Weatherman
Throwing things, assuming it's more then paper balls and stuff like that, and definately trying to run some one over, assuming it was deliberate, definatelty rises to the level of illegality. Alot of us here probably have similar stories to share. *sigh* Such is the life of the geek. :rolleyes:

Must be spit balls. What else could it be? Can't throw rocks in a bus or classroom.

Sarahanne, how did you get into a situation where she could run you over?

[BLACKHEART]

Hello there I talked to you on AIM once. Why is she bothering you? I read your post but I didn't see why. If this harassing has went to certain levels you can involve the police. She tried to run you over? That's a case of call the police. Does she stalk you? That's a case of call the police

You could always settle it physical violence of extreme nature or could just involve the police. You should worry about this. Lets don't kid ourselves. I remember a movie on USA. No I don't like USA or their movies but someone was watching it and she was dead set on watching the end. It was about this girl situation similiar to yours. When the girl finally got in trouble it turned into real stalking, then it turned into murder. All over high school games so becareful what you do.

Sometimes you are damned if you do, sometimes you are damned if you don't. So I wouldn't suggest run to the police for everyting and I don't suggest you take it. I suggest you show you aren't afraid. I suggest you show aggression

Remember SLIPKNOT's not always someone you should listen to :) Take what you want and ignore the rest

[Dark Vicious]

Originally posted by SLIPKNOT

You could always settle it physical violence of extreme nature
ECW!!ECW!ECW!

[Dark Vicious]

ECW!!ECW!ECW! No seriously I had the same problem.I had a nasty inciedent that landed me in a insane asylum but I'd rather forget that.You should stand up to her and say "I don't want to be pushed around by you or anyone else and if you have a problem with that I won't mind settling it outside" at least she'll know your serious

[Sandro]

Welcome to the real world. Hopefully now you realize that you will have enemies and there's probably not a damn thing you can do about it. Sorry about that but it's the truth. The only advice I have to give you is try to avoid this person as much as possible.

[hello_lola]

Originally posted by Sandro885
Welcome to the real world. Hopefully now you realize that you will have enemies and there's probably not a damn thing you can do about it. Sorry about that but it's the truth. The only advice I have to give you is try to avoid this person as much as possible.

Sorry, but this is not just "life". An enemy is a person with whom one has an adversarial relationship with - meaning there's give as well as take. This person is a bully. Granted, there are always bullies to deal with in one form or another throughout life, but they are the ones that need to get in touch with reality. Anyone that is so pathetic that the only way they can get their jollies is by torturing innocent individuals is not only an emotional retard, but a degenerate loser. I don't have any advice to give (I wish I could go to your school and beat the crap out of this jackass for you), but I hope that things get better for you, Sarahanne :) .

[batboy2001]

Originally posted by Magentabeams
I don't know where to begain with this but, I just needed to tell someone this. I don't want you guys to feel sorry for me but, I think you guys can help.
Ever since I started school, I been teased and put down. And now it still happens worst than before. For the last 4 years I am been harassed, had stuff thrown at me, and have had almost been run over all by one girl. I mean I can't ever speak if I am with a group of people in the same room or bus as her, without something bad happening to me. And I shouldn't have to put up with this at this age , I am going to be a junoir, but, I can't do anything. This whole summer I haven't enjoyed myself very much just of the thought that I have to go back to school next month and put up with this another year. I can't put up with it much more, I am so paranoid to go in public because of her put downs, I feel like everyone is staring at me and judging me. I feel like the worst person in the world. Look wise and personity. I can't be myself anymore at school and on the bus. It is just eating at me til I feel like I am going to go mental. Sometimes, I'll end up crying at night when noone is around and right now I am kind of teary eyed.
I just had to share this with someone, because, my mom and dad are sick of hearing of it, and my sister dosen't care. Hopefully, someone can give me some solutions on what to do. One day I would like to help people with problems like mine somehow. But, I'll have to help myself somehow first.


Sarahanne

I would try not to dwell on it and ruin the rest of your summer. Haha, the last day(s) of school I had a threat put on me to loom over the summer by someone. Ii kinda bothered me at first, but you just have to relax and have fun (well, and knowing I can beat this guy in a fight helps too :D ) Seriously, though, it may come down to violence, if so beat them into the ground, problem over. PS: yeah, I know I suck at advice giving. EDIT, actualy, listen to sabu, that's good advice, it really takes the wind out of their sails.

[Theking]

Originally posted by Barb Gordon
Talking to them only encourages them, and if you ignore them they'll finally go away. But, when you first start to ignore them, those kinds of kids get really pissy because now they wanna know why you aren't listening to them. So things could get worse before they get better, but in the end, if you continue to ignore them, they'll finally just back off.
After awhile their attention span gave out and they gave up on me.

~Barb

Well Barb that was very good post. That is exactly what I did in school. It did get worse at first but then I was left alone. And that was the whole thing I wanted, just leave me alone.

(sorry for editing your post Barb)

TheKing

[Magentabeams]

Originally posted by Leaping Larry Jojo


Must be spit balls. What else could it be? Can't throw rocks in a bus or classroom.

Sarahanne, how did you get into a situation where she could run you over?

Well,I live in the country and the school bus dosen't drop you off right in front of your house. So, I have to walk the road to get to my house. And I guess she got a ride with her boyfriend one day, and they so happened to be coming up the road the same I was walking home. Her boyfriend was driving real fast and he would have hit me or my sister if we didn't go up on the hillside behind the ditch. When they relized they could get me they she screamed "B*tch out of the window. I didn't have the lincense number so, I couldn't do anything with the police. The best we could do was to get my mother to go out to her father.

Sarahanne

[BLACKHEART]

You live in Ohio don't you

[Magentabeams]

Originally posted by SLIPKNOT
You live in Ohio don't you
WV *sobs*

[JetMaster5]

Sounds like this girl needs some pounding! I'd wrangle her neck if I wasn't a boy!. I know boys should not hurt girls but this is different! Oh well, just ignore her or give her the "pissed off" face type (That's what I always do when bullies come near me). If you could fight, then fight! Or use your secret weapon. Use the "TICKLE ATTACK!". I'm serious here, everytime I get my bullies in a headlock, I always tickle them! And this keeps on happening everytime people pick a fight against me until they leave me alone. :D

[The Guard]

Sarah Anne,

(It would have to be Sarah, wouldn't it?)

There are ignorant, cruel people all over. You're going to have to deal with them for the rest of your life, so it's best to learn now.

Ignoring them doesn't work.

Physical violence doesn't work.

Talking to adults doesn't work.

You need to do the following:

Find something about the person that they hate, something that HURTS (their weight, their looks, their lack of a boyfriend, their sluttiness, drinking problem)...whatever it takes. And the next time they throw an insult, FIRE back with one that's TEN TIMES WORSE. If you have to bring up their wife-beating father, do it. Find the worst thing about them you can...and USE it to more or less rip them apart. This will accomplish two things:

They will realize you're sick and tired of all their crap.

They will either leave you alone, or try to make up.

Either way, you get left alone. And it shows OTHER people you're not to be messed with. You won't need to hit them twice in most cases. My father gave me a piece of advice when I was little that has served me well...

"When someone hits you, you hit back hard enough that they won't even CONSIDER hitting you again."

It works in fist-fights. It works with mental abuse, too.

Hang in there, Sarah. Lots of us have been there. And to tell the truth, are better off for it.

[Jedigreedo]

I got put-down alot too in elementry school, then I was put in home school. Unfortunately I never really had the chance to stand up for myself except for a couple names I called one of the main bullys.

I would just ignore them, although if you start just trying to ignore them then I would suggest picking up a small recorder at Wal-Mart or Radio Shack then taping it to your leg (hey if anyone looks there you can sue for harassment :D) and letting it run all through school. Then if you claim you're trying to ignore them, but they keep ratting on you and it's on tape, then you've got the perfect evidence. :)

If all else fails though... A black eye may be the only way to get any sort of feeling in her head. I'd still use the tape recorder even if you plan on violence that day, they'd be the ones who started it and they wouldn't have the chance to lie. So if you got in trouble with the school, it might lessen the punishment.

Sorry I can't be of more help, hope things improve.

[Leaping Larry Jojo]

Ignoring bullies has never worked for me. They only started shutting up when I sent the message that I wasn't going to take it anymore.

And if they threatened me? "Fine, I'll slap you with assault charges so bad, you'll wish you never started with me. And you'll never get rid of that criminal record--ever. Should you try to kill me, you'll be a murderer."

It doesn't matter if you weigh 90 pounds and you're weak as a feather. Commit yourself to the fact that if they keep bothering you, you'll keep getting up to fight back. And getting up, and getting up, and getting up.

Most of the time when you show some backbone, they'll leave you alone. In fact, I'd take Barb's OTHER example into consideration. When she grabbed the person's wrist and said in so many words that she wasn't going to take any crap--that is what I would do.

[James]

I think it's great you are sharing this. I think that is ever so important - and to continue to do so. Never stop, that's when issues like this can really suffocate you. I'm sure you know this, but I urge you to look positive on this. At worst, there will be an end - this isn't forever.

My advice is similar to Jojo. There must be someone you can go to about this - someone you haven't tried. I refuse to believe there is no one who will take this further. Maybe you were unlucky with your last attempt, but I think the only way to really stop this is to make it official.

I'm not sure what your dynamic is with her, whether getting forceful will make it worse or not. It may work, but it will have to be consistant and you'll have to be brave - not show any sign of weakness.

There must be bully helplines you can ring and see if they can offer any alternative advice to what you have already tried.

I would suggest speaking to your parents openly but by the sound of it you've already done that. That is very bad - they are the ones who should immediately support you in this scenerio - this is a terrible time for you and they should be there for you - it's a great shame that they are not.

Perhaps try them again. Make it very clear how this is affecting you. If that fails, get more information about taking this further formally. If you don't agree with the schools opinion, threaten to take it further - or even to the press. I imagine you'll see a change then.

What ever you do, be strong. Don't let anyone mess you around and GET the result you are ENTITLED to! Don't let ANYONE stand in your way in your attempts to sort this out! This should not be happening - ESPECIALLY if you have already reported her.

Remember, there is always someone who'll listen. You just have to reach out and touch them.

Good luck.

[Chris Sanders MSX]

I went through this, and from my experience I can tell you to stand up for yourself. and if your not that kind of person ignoring the person is always best.

Yeah, yeah it's not realistic but that's cause your thinking of it in the wrong way. Something like this. Say your walking in school and she says something to you, you have to options ignore her and act as if she said nothing, which really piss her off becauses he wants a reaction or you can focus on someone else.. Like Just as she Insults you.. Go "HI (Insert friend here) !" and keep going.


I did something to this effect when it was happening to me, and the guys just wound up looking stupid and sounding like the jackass that everyone knows he is, even his friends.

We were on the football feild during practice and he started making a big deal about why I was being quiet, and how we were in the smae grade but he didn't know my name. Then everyone around us kept going "Calm Down, his name is Chris" "You can't know everyone in the junior's Class name" "Chris isn't quiet around me"....


After that day he layed off completely. And I just did things as normal. Can't offer much more advice because for the most part I'm pretty cool with everyone.

[Magentabeams]

Thanks everybody. I feel better getting this all out.

Sarahanne

[Weatherman]

Happy to be of some use. :)

Like several of us have said, get a small tape recorder from radio shack or whoever out there sells them and tape it onto some place thta they can't look for it, assuming your state doesn't have laws against that kind of thing like we have here in Maryland. That way you have indisputablr proof of what this girl has been doing. Maybe a disposable camera would be a good thing to keep on hand too.

[Trent Lane]

Originally posted by Magentabeams

WV *sobs*

Hey, West Virginia's a great place to live... :cool:

Anyway, back on topic, this girl is unhappy with herself- I saw this all through high school. They can't be happy so they'll drag everyone down with them. She must have some major issue, well, she does have some major issues. My advice- turn the other cheek. She does something to you, like she already hasn't, I'd make it a matter for the police. The first visit will most likely be a stern warning, but if her harassment persists, they'll take action against her. I wish you the best of luck with this, and hope things make a turn for the better for you.... BTW, which part of WV are you in? My parents are moving to Pocahontas(sp?) County on the eastern side of the state in about a month...

[Magentabeams]

Originally posted by Trent Lane
BTW, which part of WV are you in? My parents are moving to Pocahontas(sp?) County on the eastern side of the state in about a month...

I live Marshall county in the nothren panhandle. I so close to the PA border I can walk to PA in about a min.


Sarahanne

[Weatherman]

Cool. Going to have to remember that next time I head out west along I-64 to I-79. :)

What brought your family out there?

[Magentabeams]

Originally posted by Weatherman
Cool. Going to have to remember that next time I head out west along I-64 to I-79. :)

What brought your family out there?

My dad works in Pittsburgh and my parents didn't want to pay PA's Tax so, we went to WV.

Sarahanne

[Weatherman]

I guess that works as well as any other reason, even if it does mean living in West by G_d Virginia. :eek: :p

[Bob...SpongeBob]

I am very sorry that you have to deal with this <hands sarah a cookie, gives her a hug> I had some mean boys harass me all though grade school, but now that I'm in high school, I don't see them that much. I would not recommend fighting them (I did it once, didn't get caught but got a rep as Xena, psychotic warrior woman) but since she's such a <radio edit> you can't just ignore her either. And your parents aren't helping either. Boy, you've got a situation on your hands.

Do you have some friends that would be willing to testify to the principal/counselor/teacher that the girl is harassing you? Get a bunch together and go see someone and tell them to keep an eye on the girl. If you have student counselors, talk to them. Have any computer geek friends? Have them wipe out her school reports off the network... :D (no, don't do that, principal gets mad) Yea, get cameras, recorders, pictures, the police...heck, I'll come over and ruin her life for you! 2 hour drive...if I had a license... :rolleyes:

Try to get your school's bully policy changed. We have a zero tolerance for everything and anything rule, and student counselors that you can get anytime plus adult counselors, and the spooky assistant principal.

I hope this helps, and stay strong and stick with it!

[GL2k2]

I know some people from West Virginia. If you ever bump into anyone last named Reel or Baker, I might know their family. Anyway, school seems to be worse than it was when I was going back in the mid to late 90's. It's pretty sad how people will treat you, but I'll tell you what, things will change once you are on your own. You'll be stronger.

I played hooky to much to be bothered and I had a job so I didn't really care a cent about the punks in school. Plus I seriously live in my own world, and if your on this forum you obviously are somewhat creative in someway.

I'm not going to tell you what to do, or how to do it, but in your mind you have to put them someplace. I killed some punks in my school in a short story and published it in the school magazine and it was pretty gory, and teachers and kids never looked at me right since. I plunged myself into horror artwork of my own and carried around huge poster boards that nowadays could get me expelled of fear of me being a Columbine dupe. But I found a sick sorta pleasure in the fact that no one knew what made me tick inside. You see a black kid and you automatically think, baggy pants, slang, rap music, predictable. But me, I couldn't be pidgeon holed and that scared people.

Again I'm not telling you what to do, but perhaps you should simply play the thespian act like someone else. In the real world when you're older you'll learn that you must act in this world. Smile and nod. In interviews with bosses you must act. In restaurants you must act like you want to really eat there and respect the waitress even if they look like you don't belong there or something. Everyone else is acting and so must you, that is a little secret no one tells you when you grow up. It's part of discipline, and that girl will get what goes around, but don't rush it, just sit back and watch.

[electricsheep]

I had similar experiences back in high school with people in my 7th a 8th grade years mainly because I decided not to take the same path as others, to not be a clone, to be myself.

My advice to you is to not give up on being yourself, do not lose your identity through this ordeal.

Just remember , karma works wonders... ;)

[Sue_Jackson]

{{{{{{Sarahanne }}}}}}

I know where you're coming from. In grammar school, I'm always the shortest one in class so kids called me shrimp, midget, dwarf, and even retarded. I started wearing glasses in 1st grade, and kids used to call me four-eyes. I also called ugly and stupid. In junior high, I've had kids me laugh at me, and I mean really hurting my feelings, and putting me down right in front of everyone. I've had girls saying they would beat me up if I even looked at them. This was this one girl in junior high who thought I was so ugly that if ever looked at her she would beat me up bad. Well, I was soo scared of her that I went home crying everyday, and was even too scared to go to school. I finally went to my parents and told them about this girl. Well...my parents told the principal about this girl...and then, the girl found out my parents talked to the principal about her, and she threatened me even more. I was so scared to go to school everyday. I've also had kids hit me in the back (real hard too) for reason. These were usually the so-called "cool kids" :rolleyes: . I don't think it's cool to be mean. :mad: In high school, I've had girls tell me they hated me for no reason. I never did anything to nobody. I was a quiet person who minded her own business, and I've had girls.....and boys, too, tell me they hated me. I had very low self esteem back then, too, so everything they told me I almost believed them......which made things worse for me. In the beginning I really thought there was something wrong with me. I mean, why anyone hate me? I've never been mean to anybody. I've had kids tell me I was no good, and that I should've never been born, and stuff like that. Kids were so cruel. :( I hated junior high, and hated high school. So, that's why I'm never going to a high school reunion. :mad:


Sarahanne......I really don't what to tell you. After awhile, I did talk to my parents more about what had been happening to me, and they just told to believe in myself, and not too listen bullies and jerks who just like to put other people down. My parents also told me that if I really believe in myself, then I can just ignore those jerks. I try to list all my good points, and count my blessings, and then I don't have to worry about those jerks. I never had any really serious threats so I really had no reason to tell authorities. But for you......Sarahanne......if you are being seriously threatened for your life, that can be very serious.....and should be reported. You said some tried to run you over? That's a serious threat on your life. I say that calls for some legal actions. But, go to your parents first. Do have a good teacher you can trust? It wouldn't hurt talk to that teacher you trust. I hope I helped any.


God bless to you, Sarahanne. :)

[Weatherman]

*reads over Deina's post* :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:( :mad: :mad: :mad:


Not exactly sure of what to say otther then good to see you made it through to join us here.:)

I know alot of the time it feels like we're alone in these kinds of situations, but I do remember something I heard awhile back. Roughly paraphrasing, there are a (blank, somewhere around 6) people in the world who would take a bullet for you, roughly double that number who join fight someone who was hitting you and many more beyond that who would miss you if you were gone. No matter how bad things are, there's always someone somewhere who cares. And Denia, go back to your HS runion once you're sucessful in whatever you plan to do, Rub it in their faces a bit. What can they do at that point that wouldn't get them tossed in jail? ;)

[Theking]

very well put Weatherman. Great way to think about it.

TheKing

[Weatherman]

Thanks King.:) On a side note, I'm always available if anyone ever just needs someone to listen for awhile. I'm usually on AIM, YIM and MSMessenger after 10:30 pm till around 1ish.