How to tell someone you like him/her

[Dark Spider]

This is an interesting topic that I want to bring up. How would you go about telling your love interest that you like him/her? Or, how do you go about attracting that love interest?

I'm asking because I'm looking for inspiration for this little dilemma I'm in. I started to like this girl, and I think she may like me too (I'm not sure in what way though). Some signs I get from her are staring, smiling or acting happy when we talk, inviting me to a recent party, and moving around in awkward (shy) ways when she's near me. But other times, it seems like she doesn't like me, like never talking to me... but that could be her shyness in action. Plus, in hiding my own shyness, I kinda act cold to her. I guess its fair play... but I called her recently (I never call her, only a few times) and she seemed very happy that I called... so I don't know about this whole thing. Girls are a pain to figure out sometimes. :)

Well, pretty soon, I'm gonna ask her out somewhere or tell her about my feelings, and I'm looking for inspiration. So please give me some...

NOTE:

And don't worry, Dark Spider is still married to Kiyone, but my real life counterpart (who shall remain nameless :) ) is in love...

[BLACKHEART]

Do what I do and let the girls come to you. :)

And when they do come to you. Hit them with your best game. You can tell by looking at the girl what she's going to like. Follow these easy steps.

Talk to the girl
Flirt with the girl
Obtain the girl

Works for me. :)

[Mr. Obsession]

Poor Kiyone! Don't worry Dark Spider, I'll be here for her to have a shoulder to cry on while you're off having your little fling. :p :D




Sadly, Mr. O doesn't have much advice to offer since his luck with the ladies is non-existent. :( :( I tend to be in a permanent friend zone.

You could always take a page from the "Killer Croc book of Love" and throw a rock at her! :D Or you could lay you're cards on the table, so to speak, and hope she feels the same way. Or you could keep things the way they are and hope that she makes the first move, or at least that you'll get a better opportunity before she decides to move on since you're doing nothing.

[Spooky05]

if i knew, dark spider's alter ego, i wouldn't be patheticaly single at the moment. but i'll tell you what a girl would want to hear from a guy that she likes: that you like her too. [nod nod] just tell her, and if she likes you, you have nothing to worry about.

[Dark Spider]

That would be the easy way out, but I'm thinking about the future though. If a girl knows that someone likes her, then she would be kind of awkward around that person. I don't want that. I want to be friends with her, even though she may not like me. I guess I gotta find someway to tell if she likes me or not...or wait for her to make the first move...which ever comes first.

But thanks for the suggestion though...I just may do that and hope she does like me...

Any other ways?

[Mr. Obsession]

Originally posted by Dark Spider
Any other ways? Throw a rock at her! :D

[Spooky05]

Originally posted by Mr. Obsession
Throw a rock at her! :D

[nod nod] throwing rocks can be a very productive system of showing affections. :p so can pepper spray...but lets avoid that untill you actually get into a relationship with this girl.

[Mr. Obsession]

But if you start off like that then you know for certain if she goes for that kind of stuff or not. Better to know now than to have her get mad later. ;)



Don’t worry Dark Spider. If Killer Croc found love, you can too! :p

“I threw a rock at ‘em.”

[Chris Sanders MSX]

I can't give much advice because I'm going through the SAME exact thing. And slipknot's advice is the reason why i have a problem doing this. ALL my girlfriends have come to me but i know if i want this girl I'll have to actually have to be the one to ask.

I say get her phone number, call her later make plans, hang out like twice and then ask her out again to see if she wants to be your "significant other." This is what I'm planing on doing.

The phone number thingw on't be hard for me because i have a new Cell Phone and that'll be my reason for getting her number.

[Dark Spider]

I already have her phone number and we talk some. We talk about normal teenager stuff like music and things.

I guess I can try to ask her out somewhere, but I really don't know where to take her. Plus, I have a problem with other people knowing I like someone. I think its kind of embarrasing. She would probably tell her friends that I asked her out and they would probably grill me or get jealous that I didn't ask them out with her or talk about me or something. I really don't want that drama or pubicity. But I guess I can handle it if I really tried...

Thanks for the suggestion...

[SonGoku V3]

Originally posted by Dark Spider
I already have her phone number and we talk some. We talk about normal teenager stuff like music and things.

I guess I can try to ask her out somewhere, but I really don't know where to take her. Plus, I have a problem with other people knowing I like someone. I think its kind of embarrasing. She would probably tell her friends that I asked her out and they would probably grill me or get jealous that I didn't ask them out with her or talk about me or something. I really don't want that drama or pubicity. But I guess I can handle it if I really tried...

Thanks for the suggestion...

Well, you're talking to this girl, therefore you've won half the battle. I feel that your next step should be getting close to her by hanging out with her, but do it casually. See if she would want to go to the mall, movies, or some stuff simple. While there, get close to her....you know, some playful flirting, get her to talk about herself, just basically get comfortable around each other. Yeah, it'll be kind of obvious you two (hopefully) like each other, but that's nothing to be embarrased about. It'll also be a whole lot easier if you didn't look on the downside of things when it comes to what she'll do after you ask her out.

[Chris Sanders MSX]

Originally posted by Dark Spider
I already have her phone number and we talk some. We talk about normal teenager stuff like music and things.

I guess I can try to ask her out somewhere, but I really don't know where to take her. Plus, I have a problem with other people knowing I like someone. I think its kind of embarrasing. She would probably tell her friends that I asked her out and they would probably grill me or get jealous that I didn't ask them out with her or talk about me or something. I really don't want that drama or pubicity. But I guess I can handle it if I really tried...

Thanks for the suggestion...

Get outa my head !!! God, that sounds like my situation. My only thingw ould be take her to see Star Wars next week... I'm considering going for that myself, but first see if she even wants to see the movie. Hanging out a lil first is always best... girls know when a guy likes them usually so when you go for it she shouldn't be shocked.

[Zorakfan]

Yeah, as luck would have it, I just went through the same scenario as dark spider, not wanting to queer the friendship. Anyway, I came out and stated my feelings to the object of my affections calmly and with understanding. Of course, I was crushed, and given the 'let's just be friends' that I'm oh so familiar with. I don't know what the hell I'm doing wrong. I'm always polite, listen, give compliments, be a nice guy, talk about her interests, etc. etc.. Yet, despite an incredible compatability, I was shot down like a zero at midway. My ego is non-existant. Anyways, I suppose I would suggest that if you know your looove-pig's best friend, try and weedle a little information out of her as to your lady's current relationship status with you. Otherwise, just be truthful, don't obsess, and respect her decision. Oh, yeah, hope you have better luck than I did.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be off bottling up more malice and hatred until some sort of cosmic mishap turns me into a super villain.

...that or I get my damn mega-flamethrower invention to work.

[Dark Spider]

I would love to ask her best friend about her, but I'm afraid that's even harder than asking the girl herself. Too many things could go wrong....

I need to take LilSonGoku's advice and stop living in the future. I'm a teenager, I'm supposed to take risks and stuff now so I won't do it later in life where it'll hurt.

That was a good suggestion and if I form a good friendship with her friend, then I might pull it off.

Actually, I feel relieved that other people are going through the same frustrations I'm going through. I hope she is going through the same stuff, it might pressure her to make the first move... :)

[Failure]

Originally posted by Chris Sanders MSX


Get outa my head !!! God, that sounds like my situation. My only thingw ould be take her to see Star Wars next week... I'm considering going for that myself, but first see if she even wants to see the movie. Hanging out a lil first is always best... girls know when a guy likes them usually so when you go for it she shouldn't be shocked.

The new Star Wars actually soudns like a great idea. I think that's about as "macho" a chick flick you're going to get.

Hmm, let me elaborate. Anyone remember one of the earlier AOTC trailers (specifically I remembering it playing before Ocean's 11), it starts out basically showing the love story between Anakin and Amidala, then finishes with a flurry of battle scenes. Well, the first time my friend saw the first half of that, he blurted out "what the heck is that? Casablanca?" Cracked me up. :)

[Lucky Bob]

Just drop it in a conversation. Talk about something, (i.e. the economic impact of the European Common Market) and say, "You know what, I like you!" Chicks dig that surprise stuff.

[Shrek reference]

After all, don't you wanna hold her?

Don't you want to PLEEEESE her?

Then you've got to...got to try a little TENDERNESS!

[/Shrek reference]

[kiddiesunshine]

how? this is easy! use the joke method. say something to her that reveals your true feelings, but say it as if you are kidding. watch her reaction. if you like the reaction, play on it. if you don't, laugh or something to prevent awkwardness.

[Dark Spider]

Originally posted by kiddiesunshine
how? this is easy! use the joke method. say something to her that reveals your true feelings, but say it as if you are kidding. watch her reaction. if you like the reaction, play on it. if you don't, laugh or something to prevent awkwardness.

Hmm, that idea may work. I'll think might try it next time I see her.

[Theking]

Well, from me this is how I got my wife.

I stopped looking.

Really when I stopped looking for the right girl all of a sudden she showed up working at a store that I go to in my home town.
I talked to her for a little bit asked if she wanted to go bowling, she said yes, a yr later we kissed and two yrs after that we got married.

We were ment.

TheKing

[BLACKHEART]

Spider you talk to her on the phone? Just play it like this. Pick an event and tell her you are taking her to it. Out to eat, movie, or whatever.

[Dark Spider]

Yea, I talk to her on the phone. When I asked her for her phone number awhile ago, she was kinda happy and stuff (Another sign :eek: ). Anyway, when I get money, I'll try to take her to see a movie... probably Spiderman or something. She's kinda into movies and stuff. It'll be perfect, and it'll only cost $50 for the tickets and food...but this is only if she accepts though, but there is no reason why not.

Hey King, its a coincidence that you said that. I'm not really into looking for girls and stuff like that, so I don't. But this girl came to me and she introduced herself. Well, after knowing her for awhile, I started liking her and it evolved into this situation. By not looking for anyone, I now have a potential girl.

Anyway, do any one else have anymore suggestions. Oh, and if you have any stories, you can share it with us group of strangers. :)

LOL. I sound like a self help advisor... :)

[BLACKHEART]

My stories are pretty much the same. I stand there and make eye contact with a girl and then let them hit on me till I can't take it anymore and then it goes from there if you get what I mean.

[Chris Sanders MSX]

Originally posted by kiddiesunshine
how? this is easy! use the joke method. say something to her that reveals your true feelings, but say it as if you are kidding. watch her reaction. if you like the reaction, play on it. if you don't, laugh or something to prevent awkwardness.

This is what I usually use. Because I've had girls that I ahve no intrest in, be like "You know I like you right?" and I'll go..Yeah it's kinda obvious and then make no advance in responding them. ANd i don't need that happening i'm sure it hurts.

[DR. BELCH]

I never like to throw around the l word too casually. I'm not even sure I've ever told a woman I love her first. I have said "I 'm having feelings for you, but I'm not sure what they are just yet" and even "You're my Muse" before. I think a woman likes to hear these things...it's something, at least.... :o

[Dark Spider]

I agree with the love word usage. Love is such a strong word to use. When you first talk to a girl, you usually say "I really like you". Love is for like a family member, a close friend, or an established girlfriend...or that's the way I see it at least.

[BLACKHEART]

You can say it all with body language.

[Parallax]

If ya finnaly get the courage to ask her out.One of the best things to do on a date is to just nod and agree.Works every time.

[kiddiesunshine]

don't just nod and agree. actually listen to her. give her your undivided attention and look into her eyes. from there, just be you.
chris, "you know i like you" is a little too forward, isn't it? but it makes sense. geez, girls. riddles wrapped in enigmas wrapped in fragrant, silky skin.

[Chris Sanders MSX]

Yeah, Exactly what I was thinking. I'm a(funny) jerk really to this and almost every girl I like, so it'd be easy for me to act like my invitation was a joke. I'm just saying that if she tells me no I'll really be kinda crushed on the inside and will be soured on the idea of going up to girls. As I've never really done it.

[kiddiesunshine]

rejection comes with the territory. but you'll never know how cold the water is until you stick your foot in it.

[Dark Spider]

I'm a great listener so that'll score me brownie points with her definitely. Heh, heh...she sure likes to talk and the more she feels comfortable, the more she'll talk. So I guess the goal for the night would be to have her talking to me alot. Seems like a reasonable goal to me...

rejection comes with the territory. but you'll never know how cold the water is until you stick your foot in it.

Heh Heh, you say it like its so easy to accomplish, but I'm gonna try anyway. I guess tomorrow's the big day I call her. :yakko:

[kiddiesunshine]

go for it, guy! i think you'll get her. if the crazy loon rejects you (doubtful), she'll never really know dark spider and that'd be a damn shame!

[Failure]

Originally posted by Dark Spider
Heh Heh, you say it like its so easy to accomplish, but I'm gonna try anyway. I guess tomorrow's the big day I call her. :yakko:

Good luck Dark Spider! I think (hope) you're gonna come back with gread news later today. :)

[Dark Spider]

Well, my father hogged up the internet all day (Even as I post, since I'm at college right now), so I didn't call the girl. I'm real pissed off about it, but there is always tomorrow. :)

While I'm here, are there any more suggestions...

[kiddiesunshine]

get another phone line.

[Dark Spider]

Originally posted by kiddiesunshine
get another phone line.

Heh, I wish... :rolleyes: I'll call her either tomorrow or Thursday definitely.

And the suspense continues...

[Chris Sanders MSX]

I got my phone number yesterday now the tough part is calling her casually and making it look casual..Any suggestions ?

[Dark Spider]

Well, what I'm gonna do when I call my friend is to have a little conversation about nothing...you know the usual "How are you doing?" and "what have you been doing lately?". Then I'm gonna try to find out some things about her to take note of when I take her out on a "date". You know, stuff like "What are your interests?" and other stuff like that. I'm not gonna make it sound like an interoggation or anything, just casual stuff. If I'm feeling really bold, I may ask if she has a man or anything. I'm pretty sure she doesn't...but you never know. After that, I'll ask her about future plans, without asking her out anywhere.

I'm kinda not ready to take her out anywhere yet. I want to be at my best when I do, and I have to take care of somethings before I do take her out. Then later on, probably next week, I'm gonna ask her out to the movies or maybe something to eat.

Basically, I'm gonna try to make her feel comfortable around me so when I take her out, it could be easy on ourselves without having to be overly nervous.

I hope this gives you some idea on what to do with your phone call MSX, and thanks for your suggestions early in the thread. Oh, and good luck....we'll both need it. :)

[kiddiesunshine]

i wish you 2 the best.
note: you find out more about a person through casual conversation.
my best advice? stop wasting time. trust me. one time in high school, i helped this really fine girl get an e-mail account. i told her to check it because her first real message would be from me. she checked it, thereby finding out how pretty i thought she was. soon after, we were comfy enough around each other to hit each other playfully. one day, she tried to hook up with me and i choked! she looked at me, smiled and said, "why do you like messin' with me?" i said i didn't know. (smooth, wasn't i?) i moved from chicago shortly after and checked my e-mail at my new school. she sent me one, telling me she had a crush on me!!
she sent me e-greetings quite frequently.
moral: carpe diem (sp?) aka seize the day.

[JohnCrichton]

I've a little experience in this field. I've gone through a thousand miles of awkward heartbreaks and unattainable women and in recent years a couple hundred miles of success.

Way you tell her you like her is to wait for one of those moments were you're having a good time. Moment comes where you feel a connection and you get that eye contact like you say you do....

Pop it on her.

But know this... if you have question and if you're nervous and if you're in high school.... 95% chances are that you're "friend toast". Be ready to accept that.

Bottom line, Yoda said it best, "You will know..... you will know....."

[Dark Spider]

Well, I called her and I got mixed vibes...

We talked about stuff like school and television. She didn't seem all that happy like last week though. Maybe she wasn't feeling good :confused: ? Well anyway, It was kind of discouraging, but then again, we seem like we can talk about more stuff than usual. I'll probably have to call more often so we can be more comfortable together. She may be a challenge, but I like challenges.

Other than that, thanks for all of your suggestions. :)

[kiddiesunshine]

it felt nice just to talk to her though, didn't it?

[JohnCrichton]

Hmmm....... grim truth is that you may be "friend toast".

Are you in High School?

If so, your best bet is to forget about it.... for now. But should the time come with all's aces with you two again, when you're laughing and smiling and having those good times.... and you feel like you can tell her anything, do it then.

Otherwise, best just to fight another day.

[a.k.a. Skarr~~]

Yeah, the girl I like now I know used to like me because she even told someone who told me, but I don't know if she still likes me. It does seem like it, because she always looks at me from across the room in science and reading class in a blushy way, and we're good friends and talk a lot, and she says hi if she sees me in public, and she always says weird things to m like, "Cookiela!" and kicks my butt (litterally) in the hall like girls do when they like someone. The only problem is, how do I tell her I like her if she goes to the same school and Karaté class as me?

[auto]

Hey you can write a book about this thread, lol :p very interesting indeed.

[Chris Sanders MSX]

:) Life is good. And I didn't even have to call.

I was way too scared, I think that I was able to deal with the rejection face to face way better. That way It'll be more believeable when I pretend like it was a joke.

We were on the train and I started messing with her and after she called me lazy, I pushed her shoulder, She laughed and we called each other names for a few minutes, I guess i was being witty because I had her laughing hard. Then I was like what are you doing Saturday ? She said nothing and I asked her If she wanted to go see Episode 2. She said "With Who ?" I was like him and pointed to this dirty guy in front of me, she laughs and I go..Nah.. With me. She said yeah and that's that.


Now I have to tell my friends to "meet me" there instead of us all going together.. and just happen to run into us.

I feel bad about not having my car, and having to take her out on the bus but with the way I drive that's a good thing.

[kiddiesunshine]

alright, chris! laughter is the ultimate weapon.

[Chris Sanders MSX]

I'm like that with her anyway. It's easier when she fights back too. I hate girls that just sorta sit there when you insult(kid around with) them.

[Dark Spider]

it felt nice just to talk to her though, didn't it?

Yea, it did actually. Maybe if I try harder (Without being annoying) things will get better. :)

Congrats to MSX......and I agree with you on this quote:

I'm like that with her anyway. It's easier when she fights back too. I hate girls that just sorta sit there when you insult(kid around with) them.

I have another friend that I like to joke around with (its easier for me to joke around with a friend than someone I like) and she's a little serious about things. I guess she doesn't like to be touched or played with really, and when I do that stuff, she just looks at me weird and stuff like "No he did not just do that".