I don't really hang out with my friends, is that normal?

[The Avatar]

OK, here's the deal. I have plenty of friends at school. It's not like I'm anti-social or anything. But outside of school, I don't really get together with any people. I go to parties and stuff like that, but not just hanging out with someone. I haven't actually gone out with anyone in awhile, since no one's really thrown any parties or anything. It's not like I have no friends, I just don't really see them that much outside of school. I don't know what is it. Is this normal?

[The Cartoon]

I do the same thing, but I don't really give it a second thought. I'm just not the kind of guy who likes to go out and I've never been big on parties. I think it's perfectly normal.

[Mini Garbonzo]

I do the same thing, but I don't really give it a second thought. I'm just not the kind of guy who likes to go out and I've never been big on parties. I think it's perfectly normal.
Same here. Most of the time I like to keep the social part of my life at school, there's nothing wrong with it at all.

[NelStone]

I'm like that. I have tons of friends from high school and college, but I'm rarely out and about with them on a normal basis. I kind of had an inferiority complex where I felt like I'd be forcing myself into their schedules if I asked if they wanted to hang out or something.

I've been trying to change that this year though. And it's far more fun to be out with them instead of wasting away in front of a screen all day.

[En Sabah Nur]

Its fine if you want to be left alone, and not hang out with anybody, but it does get kind of lonely to be by yourself all the time. So if it suits you just fine, there is nothing wrong.

But it seems as though you not asking if its normal but how to change that. In school its easy, they are there, in your class. So you talk to them. But outside of school you are not with anyone, and it can get lonely. So how to make that person a friend from an acquaintance? Talk to a person who you would like to be friends with about upcoming movies, see if your interests are similar, if they are, talk about a particular movie you both want to go and see and just go to the movies. And before you know it, you will have a friend outside of school as well.

[Wind-Dive]

I believe it's fine and normal. I do to have alot of friends at my middle school and I consider myself a loner. Even though I talk to some of my friends I'm just a lonely person trying to find out who he is and why he's here. I sometimes consider myself to be worthless in this world. But I always make it through. In class I always do my work and never usually talk, and sometimes I always get picked at but I ignore them and move on. Also, I have no social life outside of school either, that doesn't mean it's not normal. So don't freak yourself out just because you don't talk to your friends outside of school.

[Michael24]

It seems unusual to me, but that's probably because I was the opposite. When I was in school, I sort of had two sets of friends: those that I saw everyday but never spent time with off campus, and those I saw everyday and continued to see off campus. I was never much of a party goer, but often after school (especially on Fridays and the weekends) I'd get together with various friends, going to the movies, doing stuff around town, or just hanging out at each other's place doing whatever (playing video games, listening to music, talking, etc.). I really valued those friendships. I was able to bond with people over shared interests and it was just fun to be able to spend time among people like me, giving us something to do. :)

But like En Sabah Nur said, if it suits you I guess there's nothing wrong with it.

[moonmaster]

I'm exactly the same.
I have a few friends at school, but I don't really hang out with them after school.

[Mesousa]

Same thing goes for me too, I'm really just the kind of guy that just wants to go home early, not just to rest, but to study a bit.

[defunctzombie]

When I was in high school I had some friends, but I never did anything with them because nobody ever invited me to do anything. The ones that did always ended up getting me in trouble. :shrug: So at least you're at home playing on the internet instead of getting in trouble. I wouldn't worry about it.

[Megaman X]

I'm the same! It's not that I don't enjoy my friends or anything, it's just that I always get so tired from school and working on homework that I just kind of want time to be alone. =P Of course I do enjoy my friends at school though as being alone just would not be very fun.

[Master Moron]

OK, here's the deal. I have plenty of friends at school. It's not like I'm anti-social or anything. But outside of school, I don't really get together with any people. I go to parties and stuff like that, but not just hanging out with someone. I haven't actually gone out with anyone in awhile, since no one's really thrown any parties or anything. It's not like I have no friends, I just don't really see them that much outside of school. I don't know what is it. Is this normal?

Are you in high school or college?

[FireWarrior]

Nothing wrong with it. Some people are gregarious. Others are not. Obviously you are a person who does not have to be constantly in the company of others to be happy and that is perfectly fine. I'm like that to an extent. I do enjoy hanging with friends and going out as being social is very good for the soul:) but I also required a "recharge" per se and need a lot of time to myself so I don't go nuts.



So nothing wrong with you at all.

[Blackstar]

OK, here's the deal. I have plenty of friends at school. It's not like I'm anti-social or anything. But outside of school, I don't really get together with any people. I go to parties and stuff like that, but not just hanging out with someone. I haven't actually gone out with anyone in awhile, since no one's really thrown any parties or anything. It's not like I have no friends, I just don't really see them that much outside of school. I don't know what is it. Is this normal?


I don't find that to be weird at all. In fact, I'm pretty much the same way, although I'm no longer in school. When I was in school, I had a small group of buddies whom I hung out with, so I wasn't friendless, and we would sometimes go out to the movies or to the mall or whatever, but for the most part, I didn't associate much with anyone from school outside of school. Usually, afterwards I would just go home and watch TV and draw or write. I never liked having lots of people around me, and I still don't to this day. I do go to parties and get togethers from time to time, but overall, I'm not that big on socializing. Never was.

[The Avatar]

Are you in high school or college?
I'm in high school.

[Lazerboy5000]

In high school, I had a few friends that I talked to at school, but there was only a couple of them that I actually hung out with on the weekends and stuff.

But in college, the swim team is really a second family to me (or that's what we like to call it). We hang out all the time in college. Like, we eat meals together, and we go to parties together (even though I'm not a big party guy), and we just always see each other.

So It does make a difference if you're in high school or college. And since you're in high school, I wouldn't make a big deal about it. I rarely hung out with anyone outside of school in high school.

[Ishtar]

I'm the same way. I'm at college and I have plenty of friends, but we only get together once or twice a week usually. I definitely like to have time to myself, but it's also because I'm busy with schoolwork and stuff.

[Dr.Pepper]

I have been like that my entire life, so you aren't alone.

[ABrown]

I mean I would say it's a problem if someone is alone, I mean completely alone cut off from society 24/7. Then I'd say that person has a problem. But I only see my friends for a few hours on either a Friday or Saturday night. After an 8-10 hour day at work, I just want to go home and crash. I do kind of miss seeing my friends all the time like I did in high school. But, I guess that's just what happens when you grow up.

[Master Moron]

I'm in high school.

In high school I think a lot of people are like that. In college it should be different, though. At least, it should be if you live on campus.

[Michael24]

In high school I think a lot of people are like that. In college it should be different, though.

I wouldn't say it should be different, but if just happens that way, so be it.

Personally, I had more friends in high school than I ever did in college. There I had a lot of people that I only knew through various classes but never spent time with off campus. (Some I would only know during the course of one semester, then that was it.) Most of my friends in high school were the same ones I'd grown up with from elementary school and junior high since no one ever seemed to move. After high school many of them did go off to out-of-area or out-of-state colleges, so I was down to a smaller number that I continued to hang out with during my college years. Today, the majority of my friends continue to be ones from my high school years, whereas the people I knew in college I've not seen since.

So I don't think one type of experience should be considered the ideal over another. Everybody's going to have a different experience, but whatever suits them . . . suits them. :)

[Yash]

I'm kind of the same way, so I'd say it's normal. I do find time to hang out every other week or so, though.

[DisneyFan]

I never went to College. But, when I got home from school I never hung out with anyone. Mostly because my friends didn't live nearby so I'd basically have no one to hang out with. I normally just stayed at home and watched DVD'S or cartoons. It's all about what you want. Some people are diffent if you're feeling alone or lonesome then I would suggest going out with a friend maybe once a week to the movies or something.

I am in my 20's now and I still make it possible to hang with my friends once a week. It's not abnormal or strange to not hang out with your friends. It's strange if you cut off all tides with your friends move on to a deserted island with no one around and become a hermit.;)

But, all joking aside it's perfectly normal.

[purplehairedwonder]

I'm going to say it depends on how you feel about it. Are you uncomfortable with not hanging out with friends? Then it's probably time to do something about it; make some more effort to be social and whatnot. If you are comfortable with your current situation, then you're probably fine. If you're locked in a room 24/7 never seeing other people, having no social skills whatsoever, that's where the problem lies.

Personally, I'm an athlete so when I'm not in class or studying, I'm pretty much always with my teammates. Even when we're just hanging out off the field, during the school year we're pretty much always together. We sometimes get sick of each other too (19 girls together for 9 months of the year? Yeah...), so when I'm not in school I tend to spend more time on my own if only to recharge. I like my alone time and tend to describe myself as anti-social (I don't go clubbing with some of the girls or that sort of thing), but I'm working to get myself out of my comfort zone and I really do have more fun after the initial discomfort. It's worth it to make the effort, I've found. Much more rewarding overall, too.

So I suppose the moral of that long-winded story was: everything in moderation. Don't be alone too much and you don't always need to be around people. Find the balance that works for you. Everyone is unique so your balance is going to be different than the rest of us.

[Zeonic Freak]

HS for me was i had 2 types of friends, ones i would hang out at school and it mostly stayed that way, and ones that i hung outside of school on the weekends.

The ones in school, i saw them all the time, so in a since, we basicly hung out all the time, and if we did anything, it was going to a friends house and playing video games and starring at this anime pin up wallpapers when we werent playing (Ok, that was me and some other people, because we were all lonely LOL, and my school wasnt the "prize place" to hook up with chicks either, some of us had standards).

Then there were my friends outside of my school who i went to a diff school with them and would play Airsoft on the weekends/Talk to online and over the phone a couple times a week. I helped when i started driving becuase i could borrow my dads truck and take it out to my friends house and Airsoft all day. Ah... good times. That and some people at my church i would hang on occasion as well.

I guess as long as you socialize, there isnt a problem. Shoot, socalizing can be considered you and your buddy going to either house and playing pokemon the entre time or WoW togeather (something a friend of mine and I have done in the past when i was still playing WoW).

Sometimes its ok not to hang with your friends and have "me" time, because sometimes you need it for whatever reason. Just dont shut anyone out, becasue people need other people, so no matter how independent you are, everyone needs some companion in their life.

Gah, im done...

[PalmelaFC]

I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I hang with my friends at school but when i'm home i just don't feel like hanging out with my friends.

[Marvin Tikvah]

I hardly ever hung out with my friends back in high school. Near the end of my run though, I kept saying I'd do something with them, but most of the time I'd blow them off. I did manage to show up when my good friend headed off to San Francisco though.

Now that I'm in college, I don't have to blow them off because I'm 2 hours away from them. More time for myself, I suppose.

[Psychopulse]

I'm pretty much a loner myself...nothing's wrong with that...

[Silverstar]

What is or is not "Normal" is subjective; it depends on the individual person and case.

Not doing a mess of socializing is only a problem if it's not by choice or if you or someone else voices a grievance about it.

I've always been a lone wolf; I have friends, but I've never been a 'buddy-buddy' guy who hangs with friends all the time. I meet and talk and socialize sufficiently enough, but I'm most comfortable alone or with that very small number of people who know me intimately. I don't like crowds and I've never needed or wanted a lot of people hanging around me all the time.

There's no need to turn yourself into a social animal if that's not your bag. Whatever's best for you.

[J!!!]

Same here also! Outside of school I don't do much with my friends except the occasional movie.

[Marinite]

I'm the same way, only I wouldn't call any of my classmates friends. Heavens no. Everyone at my high school (and now college) are all so... well, I'll just say none of them are people I would want as 'friends'. Nothing abnormal about not hanging out with people outside of your school/work, especially considering the way a lot of people are these days,

[TripleS]

Lucky for me, I've managed to gain some friends that I'm comfortable with hanging out with and that I actually related to. Other than that, it's incredibly awkward for me to try and fit in with friends I'm not as close with due to their lack of nerd for me to relate to. XD But for the most part, out of being polite I will do so anyway.

It really depends on who your friends are and if you get along with them, I think. I've come to realize that a lot of people I get along with the most are either pretty geeky like myself or older than my age group. But overall, due to being an introvert, I seem to have a preference towards being alone actually.

[soundmonkey44]

It just depends on the person, I seldom hang out with my friends outside of school, even during the summer I probably only hang around with 1 or 2 a week, but thats mostly cause im more anitsocial then most teens in my town. wich is fine with me, gives me more time to catch up on my mangas & animes, LULZ!:p:sweat:

[Master Moron]

I wouldn't say it should be different, but if just happens that way, so be it.

Personally, I had more friends in high school than I ever did in college. There I had a lot of people that I only knew through various classes but never spent time with off campus. (Some I would only know during the course of one semester, then that was it.) Most of my friends in high school were the same ones I'd grown up with from elementary school and junior high since no one ever seemed to move. After high school many of them did go off to out-of-area or out-of-state colleges, so I was down to a smaller number that I continued to hang out with during my college years. Today, the majority of my friends continue to be ones from my high school years, whereas the people I knew in college I've not seen since.

So I don't think one type of experience should be considered the ideal over another. Everybody's going to have a different experience, but whatever suits them . . . suits them. :)

Well, I just meant that in college dorms you're basically living with a lot of other people and there's all sorts of social events and stuff you can go to. It's a lot easier to make friends when you're living in the same area with a lot of other people.

[BrendaBat]

OK, here's the deal. I have plenty of friends at school. It's not like I'm anti-social or anything. But outside of school, I don't really get together with any people. I go to parties and stuff like that, but not just hanging out with someone. I haven't actually gone out with anyone in awhile, since no one's really thrown any parties or anything. It's not like I have no friends, I just don't really see them that much outside of school. I don't know what is it. Is this normal?
There is nothing necessarily "wrong" with choosing not to go out to parties and stuff as often as your friends do. Some people just aren't very comfortable with big crowds or just prefer a quiet night at home over a trip to a club, party, or restaurant. As long as you don't go out of your way to avoid human contact, I'd say there's nothing all that "abnormal" about you. :)



Now that nearly all of my friends are over 21, I don't go out with them as much as I used to because I HATE clubs/bars and I'm very uncomfortable with the idea of going to a party where alcohol is served because I just know I'd end up being the wet-blanket and having no fun at all. :(

[The Old Maid]

Well, since you mentioned you were in school, think of school as your job. If your "job" has plenty of positive social contact plus takes a lot of your energy, there's nothing wrong with wanting to unwind in peace and quiet at the end of the day. But as with a paying job, you'll want to have some sort of life outside of work.

So if you didn't go anywhere or do anything during vacations or other longer breaks, you'd just need a little more balance. You don't want to be in the position of, say, "losing your job" (including graduating) and finding that you've lost your friends with the job. This happens to married people sometimes too: one of the couple dies and it turns out that person was the one who made friends for both of them & the other one doesn't know how to hold on to them.

This doesn't mean you have to make it your mission in life to collect friends like baseball cards. But do treat yourself now and then. Find something you like to do, some group you'd like to join (hobbyist, book club, church/etc., Civil War re-enactments). Or go to ballgames or museums or something, even if it's by yourself. If you consistently find yourself saying, "this would be more fun with someone," then you'll have your answer about whether you're wanting more contact. :)

BrendaBat, I totally hear you about being the Designated Sober. It doesn't always work, but sometimes a place like a ballgame or a great restaurant, someplace where the beer isn't the point of the place, can take their minds off it. Another reason I'm always recommending museums; there are an amazing number of museums dedicated to obscure topics, and none of them tend to make people tipsy. ;) Hiking's good too.

[Shawn Hopkins]

There is nothing necessarily "wrong" with choosing not to go out to parties and stuff as often as your friends do. Some people just aren't very comfortable with big crowds or just prefer a quiet night at home over a trip to a club, party, or restaurant. As long as you don't go out of your way to avoid human contact, I'd say there's nothing all that "abnormal" about you. :)



Now that nearly all of my friends are over 21, I don't go out with them as much as I used to because I HATE clubs/bars and I'm very uncomfortable with the idea of going to a party where alcohol is served because I just know I'd end up being the wet-blanket and having no fun at all. :(

I would have loved a friend like you when I used to go out to clubs and parties. Because you could have driven me home. A designated driver is a very nice thing to have.

Besides, you don't need to get drunk to have fun at a club. My friend almost never drank when she went out with me, maybe one beer, but she always had a good time dancing.