My dad is so immature!

[Brandon Pierce]

My dad always hounds me (like any good parent would do I suppose) about keeping up with my college homework, but it's hard to for me to get through his thick skull that it's difficult when I also have to work (you'd think since he works too he'd understand that, but noooo).

So anyway, I have the day off, and I'm using it to study. I go in my room, free of distractions and whatever, and what do you know, every 5 minutes my dad waltzes in with something random to tell me. I try to be polite and tactful and say things like, "I'm hungry, why don't you fix us some lunch, like spheggeti, or something." He sees through the ruse and asks, "What, am I bothering you?", I crudely evade the question, and just continue reading my class books, but my dad, dumb as a brick, still doesn't get it, and goes, "I think I am bothering you?", and just keeps going, until I get completely frusterated, and give out an exasperation. Then that pisses hi off and says how immature I am and disrespectful I am to him. Then he goes into his own room and slams the door the way a 4 year old would.

My dad has done this countless times. If I do something that pisses him off, he hides himself in his room, in a pathetic attempt to make me feels quilty. Usually it's worked in the past, but today, I've had it. My dad is 56 years old, and I'm 21. He needs to accept that I'm not some child that he can toy around with mentally. Who here thinks the same way? Anyone here know what I'm going through? Are there any parents here who foolishly do the same to their grown kids? And if so, please tell me WHY you do this? And don't give me the "We've forgotten what it's like to be kids" excuse, because, that's the parents' equivalent to "the dog ate my homework" excuse. :mad:

[SSJPabs]

Why don't you just tell him "I am trying to study"?

My mother does this (denies it of course!) and she is 54. Since I don't live at home anymore it doesn't matter much, but here's my advice: Your dad is a drama queen/king. Ignore it. They'll either get over it or when you're done you can walk in and say "I'm done studying, what's up?" thus making THEM feel guilty by taking the moral high ground.

[Master Moron]

My dad always hounds me (like any good parent would do I suppose) about keeping up with my college homework, but it's hard to for me to get through his thick skull that it's difficult when I also have to work (you'd think since he works too he'd understand that, but noooo).


Your first mistake is living at home during college. Can't you get a scholarship or a loan or something so you can move out?

[Lavenderpaw]

Uh...dude,you're 21.Move out already!

Just tell your father that your doing your best and leave it at that. :p

[NelStone]

I must agree with the move out sentiment. I'm also a college student, and all coming back home for the summer has shown is that I would go insane being around my parents all year long. They're the same way.

[Antiyonder]

Uh...dude,you're 21.Move out already!

Actually, I hear it's pretty common for some people over 21 to live with their parents.

I for one still do on account of my disability.

[Captain Highwind]

Wow, it's my college life all over again. 8D

So anyway, I have the day off, and I'm using it to study. I go in my room, free of distractions and whatever, and what do you know, every 5 minutes my dad waltzes in with something random to tell me. I try to be polite and tactful and say things like, "I'm hungry, why don't you fix us some lunch, like spheggeti, or something." He sees through the ruse and asks, "What, am I bothering you?", I crudely evade the question, and just continue reading my class books, but my dad, dumb as a brick, still doesn't get it, and goes, "I think I am bothering you?", and just keeps going, until I get completely frusterated, and give out an exasperation. Then that pisses hi off and says how immature I am and disrespectful I am to him. Then he goes into his own room and slams the door the way a 4 year old would.

I think this is where the problem lies. You don't need to be rude or anything like that to say it (and shouldn't, since you're living under his roof), but you do need to clearly state right off the bat when you need time alone. Don't wait until you're ready to blow up at him. Tell him you're going to study and need an hour, and unless it's a flat-out emergency, don't open the door. He should respect that.

If he just won't leave you alone, add at least thirty minutes to the time you're at school and study at the library.

[Jave]

You definitely need to talk to your father. I went through my entire college years living still with my parents, and I never had those problems. They'll ask me how I'm doing during exam periods, or give me a brief lecture the times I failed a course, but that's about it. They never interrupted me during my studies, nor they controlled what I was doing.

The only way you can live with your parents as an adult is that they can understand you need your space. They'll never stop looking out for you, but they can't treat you like a kid if you're an adult now. You need to talk to your father, and let him know what troubles. If you can't work things out, then the only real solution is moving out. I never moved out of my house because I felt I was fine there, as I had my privacy and space when I needed it.

But I think the real problem is the way you talk about your father. You refer to him as "dumb" and "thick", and judging the tone of your post, there definitely seem to be some sort of problems. I'd recommend some kind of family therapy, because I believe in your case it might be helpful.

[GWOtaku]

Welcome to a friendly reality check: He's not immature, he's interested. I understand your annoyance and I've been there. I really have--I was once called something like six times in a matter of minutes. But I'll tell you what, it's better than having a parent that doesn't give a damn.

If it bothers you and happens so often that it actually does interfere with your studying, you need to just come out and say that. Your solution is simple: tell the truth. Don't deflect it with an excuse, which from your story is just prolonging the issue until you finally lose your temper. And while it's easy to say...don't lose your temper. He's your father, and on top of that you're living in his house.

Yeah, he's an adult, but also a person. The same goes for you now. If you want him to respect you, you need to do the same by talking to him as an adult would.

[Shawn Hopkins]

Work it out with him, even if that means forgiving him even though he's wrong. Because he might die on you tomorrow.

My dad died when I was 21, so I'm speaking from experience, here. You'll regret leaving things unsaid, holding grudges or, like you're doing now, putting him at arms length when it's obvious that all he wants to do is spend time with you. The "someday" you put things off for has a habit of not happening.

[ROBOTRON]

My dad always hounds me (like any good parent would do I suppose) about keeping up with my college homework, but it's hard to for me to get through his thick skull that it's difficult when I also have to work (you'd think since he works too he'd understand that, but noooo).

So anyway, I have the day off, and I'm using it to study. I go in my room, free of distractions and whatever, and what do you know, every 5 minutes my dad waltzes in with something random to tell me. I try to be polite and tactful and say things like, "I'm hungry, why don't you fix us some lunch, like spheggeti, or something." He sees through the ruse and asks, "What, am I bothering you?", I crudely evade the question, and just continue reading my class books, but my dad, dumb as a brick, still doesn't get it, and goes, "I think I am bothering you?", and just keeps going, until I get completely frusterated, and give out an exasperation. Then that pisses hi off and says how immature I am and disrespectful I am to him. Then he goes into his own room and slams the door the way a 4 year old would.

My dad has done this countless times. If I do something that pisses him off, he hides himself in his room, in a pathetic attempt to make me feels quilty. Usually it's worked in the past, but today, I've had it. My dad is 56 years old, and I'm 21. He needs to accept that I'm not some child that he can toy around with mentally. Who here thinks the same way? Anyone here know what I'm going through? Are there any parents here who foolishly do the same to their grown kids? And if so, please tell me WHY you do this? And don't give me the "We've forgotten what it's like to be kids" excuse, because, that's the parents' equivalent to "the dog ate my homework" excuse. :mad:

Your dad loves you and wants you to succeed and not grow up to be a scumbag...a rare thing indeed especially in urban areas like where I come from (Detroit, Mi.).

Appreciate him.:shrug:

[Romanesque]

I had plenty of times suffering with family interruptions every 5 minutes or less while trying to study. I even started timing the interruptions after a while, so I know it really can be that often. My case was somewhat harder to deal with, as there were multiple family members responsible.

Actually, I hear it's pretty common for some people over 21 to live with their parents.It's pretty common for a lot of people. Living entirely on your own is often just another unnecessary expense throughout college (and even for a while after). Some folk can barely afford books each semester...

--Romey

[DarthGonzo]

Work it out with him, even if that means forgiving him even though he's wrong. Because he might die on you tomorrow.

My father died when I was 18, my mother passed away a little over 5 years ago. Truer words were never spoken.

He's your father. You will never have another. Attempt to meet him halfway on this.

[ToOn~g@l]

My stepdad was like that, always hounding me about my grades and blowing a fuse when I didn't do well. I told him numerous times that I tried and that was the best excuse. So I was always nervous about classes and riding in the car with him on the way home. It was hard to get through to him sometimes that I was trying to do my best, sometimes he would listen and sometimes not.

My best advice like everyone has said is try to talk to him, hopefully he will understand what you have to say.

[SSJPabs]

I lived with my parents during college, and it was difficult to say the least. I've never had good relations with them, at least not since I was 12 or so, we are just so different that things they think are wrong I think are right and vice-versa. In the end, I went away to graduate school and the less they talk to me the better. They are intelligent people, and have made good financial decisions as well as being good parents but they are never ever ever the kind of people I would ever be friends with and that causes a lot of problems these days so I am thankful I live a day's drive away.

Now that's a personal thing, it's not unusual for people to live with their parents after college, to help pay down their debt. Due to the state of the economy it's more common--but I will note that this is an anglo-saxon cultural thing in the US. Relatively speaking there is less of an emphasis on this in familes of African Americans and Hispanics. About Asian Americans I can only speak anecdotally but it holds that way too. Eventually they live on their own, but not right away. It's an excellent way to save on expenses.

[Master Moron]

It's pretty common for a lot of people. Living entirely on your own is often just another unnecessary expense throughout college (and even for a while after). Some folk can barely afford books each semester...

--Romey

It may be common, but that doesn't mean it's a good idea. Living away from your parents is necessary for your social development. If I didn't live in the dorms when I started college I never would have made any friends. It's true that it may be more costly to live away from your parents, but that's what loans are for. You need to pay your loans back after college, but remember that the goal of college should be to enable you to get a good job afterwards. If it's difficult to study while living with your parents, think about how difficult it will be to try to find a job while living with your parents.

[Romanesque]

It may be common, but that doesn't mean it's a good idea. Living away from your parents is necessary for your social development.If that's true, am I to believe that all those other cultures that aren't obsessed with kicking the kids out at 18 are, in fact, socially under-developed? Do you have any objective evidence for that?

If I didn't live in the dorms when I started college I never would have made any friends.That's obviously going to vary from person to person and from college to college. I've had several stints at a local community college, while living at home, and each time, I made plenty of friends. The open and relaxed atmosphere helped a lot. Despite living at home, I was often on campus for 12 hours a day or more, sometimes from when the doors opened to when security escorted me out.

Let's compare that to the first two and a half years of my CompSci education, living in the dorms at a private university geared toward engineering. No one had much of a social life. Whatever there was consisted of the usual (simultaneously unusually) nerdy pursuits often looked down upon by people with so-called "normal" social lives. It was a world where roommates IM'ing each other, rather than speaking, was not an uncommon form of discourse.

I also did time at a state university, where I spent the first year locked in my room to avoid roommates who spent most nights drunk off their asses, partying past 4am in the middle of the week with people crammed shoulder-to-shoulder, engaging in drunken brawls (one occasion leaving blood splattered on the stairwell), and having really loud orgies. When my roommates weren't doing this, some other suite in the complex was. I don't mind parties, but the environment that year was far too extreme. Thankfully, my remaining semesters there were pretty good, socially.

It's true that it may be more costly to live away from your parents, but that's what loans are for. You need to pay your loans back after college, but remember that the goal of college should be to enable you to get a good job afterwards.Loans are for education. :p Given rising education costs, it's more irresponsible now than ever to spend loan money where it's not needed. Sometimes (perhaps even most of the time) you have no choice about living on campus or away from home, so yeah, you do what you have to do. Unfortunately, some colleges won't even factor the cost of housing into their financial aid calculations, forcing you to turn to higher interest private loans for housing. Doing what you've gotta do for the sake of your education may sometimes mean living at home, even if the environment sucks.

If it's difficult to study while living with your parents, think about how difficult it will be to try to find a job while living with your parents.I don't understand the connection there.

--Romey

[Antiyonder]

If it's difficult to study while living with your parents, think about how difficult it will be to try to find a job while living with your parents.

That's only if your relationship with your parents is tremendously conflict on a regular basis. Some of us have civil and pleasant relationships with our parents.

[Atoon]

I'm 20 am I going to college. I always have problems with my dad and my mom, but I never really wanted to be apart of them. I'm now living in a different city with my grandparents because I moved to another college because the previous one was awful, and besides I'm doing great right here, I miss my parents, brothers and friends a lot. Luckily my mother's family is very united and we always get in touch from time to time. But still.

No much that can I add, but I don't get why people want to get far from their parents.

[Light Lucario]

I'm nineteen years old, I'm going to be entering my second year of college a week from this Tuesday and I still live happily with my parents. I also don't see the need to move out from home for college. It might be more helpful for people to do that, but that obviously varies from person to person. You could take out more loans to get a dorm or an apartment, but I completely agree with Romey that the loads are more for your education at the college, not to move out. I've heard of people who don't move out until they get married and my aunt is one of those people. Considering the facts that both of my parents are struggling with basic bills now, even though they both work and are worried about the loan they took out to pay for my tuition, I don't want to worry them more with getting more loans to move out. I'll move out when I feel like I'm ready, as that should be the case for everyone. As for the original topic for this thread, I agree that you need to just talk to your dad. He is the only father you have and it is important to let him know how you feel. Just let him know that you need to study and have some space. He sounds more interested and concern for your education than anything else to me. Having good communication with your feelings will help you both to respect and appreciate each other.

[Master Moron]

Okay, since there's so many people who lived with their parents during college I have to ask, how do you hook up with a member of the opposite sex while you're living with your parents?

[NelStone]

Okay, since there's so many people who lived with their parents during college I have to ask, how do you hook up with a member of the opposite sex while you're living with your parents?

Most of my friends who do that just go to the opposite sex's place. Or have a really good mental schedule of when their parents are home or not.

[Antiyonder]

Okay, since there's so many people who lived with their parents during college I have to ask, how do you hook up with a member of the opposite sex while you're living with your parents?

Now you're just assuming that a lifestyle guarantees lack of challenge. There are plenty of people who live on their own who don't hook up with the opposite sex,

[Shawn Hopkins]

Now you're just assuming that a lifestyle guarantees lack of challenge. There are plenty of people who live on their own who don't hook up with the opposite sex,

Living on your own totally makes it easier, though. Both in the attraction aspect and in having somewhere to participate in the act.

[Antiyonder]

Living on your own totally makes it easier, though. Both in the attraction aspect and in having somewhere to participate in the act.

Still it's no guarantee. And frankly if a person is to live on their own, they should do it because they want to, not because they need to make a social statement.

[Shawn Hopkins]

Still it's no guarantee. And frankly if a person is to live on their own, they should do it because they want to, not because they need to make a social statement.

Well, I agree, part of the way. But living on your own isn't about making a social statement. It's about independence, freedom and convenience. Being able to have a guy or girl over whenever you want is just one of the many reasons that it's better to have your own place if you can afford it. You'll also learn a lot about life skills and responsibilities, often the hard way.

Dorm rooms are kind of in-between. I never really would have felt comfortable doing anything serious sexually in my dorm room with chance that my roomate, stoned out of his mind, could have busted in in the middle of it. That kind of thing happens more than you'd think, either by accident or carelessness. As for learning life skills, it's still kind of a sheltered environment, but if you have a roomate you're going to have to learn to get along with them, and they ain't your brother or sister so they won't be as tolerant if you act like a jerk. And either way mom probably won't do your laundry or make sure you eat well or get up on time, so you have to learn to do those things on your own if you haven't already.

It depends on the person, I guess. "Hotel Mama" works for some people, not for others. It doesn't mean the people that want to be on their own hate or don't get along with their parents, though.

[Antiyonder]

Dorm rooms are kind of in-between. I never really would have felt comfortable doing anything serious sexually in my dorm room with chance that my roomate, stoned out of his mind, could have busted in in the middle of it. That kind of thing happens more than you'd think, either by accident or carelessness. As for learning life skills, it's still kind of a sheltered environment, but if you have a roomate you're going to have to learn to get along with them, and they ain't your brother or sister so they won't be as tolerant if you act like a jerk. And either way mom probably won't do your laundry or make sure you eat well or get up on time, so you have to learn to do those things on your own if you haven't already.

But in the case of those of us with disabilities, moving out could be just as counterproductive as living at home. Even then, I still would work at doing things myself (like fixing my own food, taking bus rides to usual stops like the comic store and library). I do a good share of chores around the house. As long as a person pulls his/her weight, then living with a family member doesn't deprive one of independancy.

Besides, considering that living with the parents is becoming more common now (as Romey mentioned), then it kind of nullifies the social setback as a good majority of people do it.

[Shawn Hopkins]

But in the case of those of us with disabilities, moving out could be just as counterproductive as living at home. Even then, I still would work at doing things myself (like fixing my own food, taking bus rides to usual stops like the comic store and library). I do a good share of chores around the house. As long as a person pulls his/her weight, then living with a family member doesn't deprive one of independancy.

Besides, considering that living with the parents is becoming more common now (as Romey mentioned), then it kind of nullifies the social setback as a good majority of people do it.

For some people living at home is the right option. But for others getting your own place is an important rite of passage. It depends on the person. The fact that many other people are doing it for financial reasons shouldn't influence an individual person's choice.

I don't pretend to know what your disability is, but people with disabilities can usually live independently with some special accomodations.

[Antiyonder]

The fact that many other people are doing it for financial reasons shouldn't influence an individual person's choice.

Of course not, but since some posters state the social benefits of living on one's own, I felt that I should point out as Romey has that a good portion young adults live at home, thus a choice of lifestyle cannot definitively determine someone's social success.

But living on your own isn't about making a social statement.

It is if your main reason for moving out is to prove a point to someone rather than doing it for yourself.

[Shawn Hopkins]

It is if your main reason for moving out is to prove a point to someone rather than doing it for yourself.

You keep bringing this up, but don't know anybody who chose to move away from home for that reason. It's not about making a point, it's about having "your own place" and being independent, standing on your own two feet, you against the world kind of thing, plus all the conveniences and benefits that come with it. The only drawbacks are that it can get a little lonely and it is more expensive, and I figure that's the main reason why more people are living at home until they're older.

It's just an important part of making a life for yourself. It's a big world out there. Chances are, your place in it is not in your parent's basement or your old bedroom.

[Antiyonder]

You keep bringing this up

I will repeat certain points if I feel they are being skimmed over or not given a lot of thought.

It's not about making a point, it's about having "your own place" and being independent, standing on your own two feet, you against the world kind of thing, plus all the conveniences and benefits that come with it.

I don't disagree with the points you bring up, but there's no denying that some folks let the opinions of others guide them just the same.

It's just an important part of making a life for yourself. It's a big world out there.

It's what you choose to do with your time that defines you, not where you live.

[Shawn Hopkins]

I will repeat certain points if I feel they are being skimmed over or not given a lot of thought.



I don't disagree with the points you bring up, but there's no denying that some folks let the opinions of others guide them just the same.



I'ts what you choose to do with your time that defines you, not where you live.

That's just a recipe for going in circles, though. Repeating it won't force me to give it any more thought than I did when I rejected it the first time because it's just not true for most people. Trying to prove something to your mom and dad or, I don't know, chicks, is probably the least likely reason for moving away from home. Living on your own is not about putting up a front. People consider those with their own place to be more independent because they, in fact, are.

I agree that it's what you chose to do with your time that defines you. But where you do it can be important, too. It's just not likely that the best place to find the college you want or the job that best fits you will be near mom and dad's house. If it is, good for you, but it won't be for most people.

But that's sort of irrelevant to the discussion. No one said living on your own is supposed to be a way to define yourself. It has real, practical benefits both socially and in terms of learning life skills, like paying your own bills, cooking your own food, keeping your place up, dealing with day to day business matters and chores and others. And, back to Master Moron's original point, it's a primo place for nookie and you don't have to worry about your mom and dad leaving their dinner party early.

[Antiyonder]

Living on your own is not about putting up a front.

I'm not saying that it's always the case though. For some it is, for others it's not.

Repeating it won't force me to give it any more thought

Then take the time to read every bit of what I typed. Some of this repeating is because you take some of my comments out of content or assuming that my comment is intended as an absolute fact.

And, back to Master Moron's original point, it's a primo place for nookie and you don't have to worry about your mom and dad leaving their dinner party early.

If your main idea of fun is throwing a messy party or drinking, then I'd agree that living with the parents can be a burden, but if you're a quiet, humble individual with a bookworm mentality (who's idea of fun is reading a book or comic), then I don't really see a conflict. Heck, my parents support my interest in animation and comics and will even point out anything in the papers or news pertaining to them.

[Shawn Hopkins]

I'm not saying that it's always the case though. For some it is, for others it's not.



Then take the time to read every bit of what I typed. Some of this repeating is because you take some of my comments out of content or assuming that my comment is intended as an absolute fact.

Because you like to keep restating it I went back and read it a couple of times. Slowly. It didn't change my answer one bit. I know it sounds horrible, but maybe we'll have to accept the possibility that I simply disagree with you. Going to this passive agressive implication that I'm too stupid to understand you because I won't come around to your way of thinking is really poor debating form.

Doesn't matter if your comment is meant as a fact or an opinion. Opinions can be and often are wrong.

I'm a bookworm, and I get along with and am supported by my parents. My mother is a saint. But I still kind of like the feeling of having my own place. I recently had to move back home for a little bit while I was in between jobs and it did sort of curtail my activities, at least a tiny bit, and make me feel less independent.

[Antiyonder]

Doesn't matter if your comment is meant as a fact or an opinion. Opinions can be and often are wrong.

My posts aren't about changing your opinion, but to clarify my stance. Even if I disagree with other people, I still like to understand their mindset.

But going back to Master Moron's post. My main problem with his thread is that he assumes that every teen/young adult share the same conflicting mindset.

[Shawn Hopkins]

My posts aren't about changing your opinion, but to clarify my stance. Even if I disagree with other people, I still like to understand their mindset.

But going back to Master Moron's post. My main problem with his thread is that he assumes that every teen/young adult share the same conflicting mindset.

But I understood your stance. I just thought it was wrong.

I don't speak for Master Moron, but I don't think he necessarily does. Sounds like he was just referring to the OP, before this thread got derailed, who does have trouble studying because of his dad. His main point seemed to be that moving out of the house is important for social development, which I agree is true in most cases.

[Antiyonder]

I don't speak for Master Moron, but I don't think he necessarily does. Sounds like he was just referring to the OP, before this thread got derailed, who does have trouble studying because of his dad.

His response was more towards Romey, to my understanding.

[Shawn Hopkins]

His response was more towards Romey, to my understanding.

You're right, but it doesn't matter. He was still referring to a specific incident, not making a sweeping generalization.

[SSJPabs]

You keep bringing this up, but don't know anybody who chose to move away from home for that reason.

That's the main reason I chose a graduate school far away from home, that said I met my partner while still living at home.

[Shawn Hopkins]

That's the main reason I chose a graduate school far away from home, that said I met my partner while still living at home.

You chose a graduate school far away from home just to prove some kind of point to somebody? Who and what was the point?

[Master Moron]

If your main idea of fun is throwing a messy party or drinking, then I'd agree that living with the parents can be a burden, but if you're a quiet, humble individual with a bookworm mentality (who's idea of fun is reading a book or comic), then I don't really see a conflict. Heck, my parents support my interest in animation and comics and will even point out anything in the papers or news pertaining to them.

You know, you're kind of proving my point when you say stuff like this. You're admitting that you spend your free time doing isolated activities rather than being social. I actually used to be like this when I first went to college. I spent my free time playing videogames by myself rather than being social. Eventually, dorm life sort of forced me to become more social. I actually began going out on Friday and Saturday night rather than staying home. If I lived at home during college, I never would have been forced into a more social atmosphere and I would continue to live an isolated life. I'm not saying it's necessarily true for all people. But, I think living away from your parents is a good experience for most people.

But going back to Master Moron's post. My main problem with his thread is that he assumes that every teen/young adult share the same conflicting mindset.

What mindset is that?

[Antiyonder]

You know, you're kind of proving my point when you say stuff like this. You're admitting that you spend your free time doing isolated activities rather than being social. I actually used to be like this when I first went to college. I spent my free time playing videogames by myself rather than being social.

When I say that's my idea of fun, I mean during the evenings/late at nights when I'm not hanging out with anyone. I have friends that I hangout with. I go to the neighborhood pool during the summer. I take recycleable material down the hill to put in bins. Hobbies don't always indicate lack of a social life.

There are plenty of people who live on their own and still probably have a crappy social life. We may have some similarities regarding our social struggles, but not every situation in your life applies to me.

My social problems are due more to my anxiety and the fact that we moved to another state, thus aside from family members, I didn't have any familiar.

What mindset is that?

Teens/Young Adults who can't stand their parents. Some of us have good healthy relationship with our parents.

My dad always hounds me (like any good parent would do I suppose) about keeping up with my college homework, but it's hard to for me to get through his thick skull that it's difficult when I also have to work (you'd think since he works too he'd understand that, but noooo).

So anyway, I have the day off, and I'm using it to study. I go in my room, free of distractions and whatever, and what do you know, every 5 minutes my dad waltzes in with something random to tell me. I try to be polite and tactful and say things like, "I'm hungry, why don't you fix us some lunch, like spheggeti, or something." He sees through the ruse and asks, "What, am I bothering you?", I crudely evade the question, and just continue reading my class books, but my dad, dumb as a brick, still doesn't get it, and goes, "I think I am bothering you?", and just keeps going, until I get completely frusterated, and give out an exasperation. Then that pisses hi off and says how immature I am and disrespectful I am to him. Then he goes into his own room and slams the door the way a 4 year old would.

My dad has done this countless times. If I do something that pisses him off, he hides himself in his room, in a pathetic attempt to make me feels quilty. Usually it's worked in the past, but today, I've had it. My dad is 56 years old, and I'm 21. He needs to accept that I'm not some child that he can toy around with mentally. Who here thinks the same way? Anyone here know what I'm going through? Are there any parents here who foolishly do the same to their grown kids? And if so, please tell me WHY you do this? And don't give me the "We've forgotten what it's like to be kids" excuse, because, that's the parents' equivalent to "the dog ate my homework" excuse. :mad:

If you're trying to prove that you're mature, then verbally abusing your dad (in his face or behind his back) isn't going to prove that you are the bigger mature man. The way that you state (which sounds like an angry child) your frustration only shows immaturity on your part, thus giving his comment some validitiy.

As for that ruse he sees through, if you have a problem with someone, your best bet is to discuss it with him in a calm civil manner.

[Light Lucario]

Okay, since there's so many people who lived with their parents during college I have to ask, how do you hook up with a member of the opposite sex while you're living with your parents?

I might as well answer my piece in this since I did make a post regarding how I'm happily still living with my parents. I do not have a boyfriend nor have I made an attempt to have more of a social life. That doesn't mean that I'm not friendly; I'm just nervous talking to people unless they come up to me. The fact is that I have Asperger's Syndrome, a form of autism, so it is therefore hard for me to socialize with other people. I'm not much of a hanging out type of person. I would much rather stay at home than go and hang out with people. Like I said, I'm much to shy and socially uncomfortable to do that.

Besides that, I would much rather focus on my school work and earn the credits I need for my degree than to have a relationship at the moment. I don't think living at home has anything to do with me being uninterested in getting into a relationship. I was never really into any social event in high school and I didn't have a boyfriend then either. I go at my own pace in terms of socializing and going above my comfort level. Believe me, a relationship would definitely go above that level of mine. So basically, I'm content with my life as it is right now and I'll go foreword on my own pace, not that of anyone else.

[Antiyonder]

The fact is that I have Asperger's Syndrome, a form of autism, so it is therefore hard for me to socialize with other people. I'm not much of a hanging out type of person. I would much rather stay at home than go and hang out with people. Like I said, I'm much to shy and socially uncomfortable to do that.

That's pretty much my life in a nutshell. I have been getting better the past couple of years and have encountered the few friends I made in High School since our move.

[Master Moron]

You know, I find it a little ridiculous that you people have been arguing against the idea of moving out of your parents house this whole thread, and you just know decide to tell me you have asperger's syndrome. That would be like arguing that living on the first floor is better than living on the eighth floor for two pages and then deciding to let me know that you're paralyzed from the neck down. I mean, come on. Of course people who have a condition that prevents them from having social interactions with others would not benefit as much from living away from their parents as others would. That's common sense. But, that's an exception to the rule. You can't counter my proposition that it's necessary for one's social development to move out of your parents' house with an exception to the general rule.

As for your particular situation, I'm really not going to try to give you any advice since the only thing I really know about Asperger's syndrome is what I read on Wikipedia, I will just say that I was socially anxious when I first entered college. I didn't really have any friends in high school and I really didn't know how to act around people. I used to say "uhhh" and "ummm" before every sentence I made. I was talking to one of my friends on the phone a couple of weeks ago and she was telling me that when she first met me in my freshmen year of college I was really quiet and kind of creepy. She remarked on how much I've changed over the years. I'm not saying moving out will help you in your particular situation, you should talk to your therapist about that. But, I'm just saying that in my particular situation living away from my parents was necessary to relieve my social anxiety.

[Antiyonder]

I brought up the disabilit bit in my earlier comment with ShawnHopkins. Not my fault that you skimmed the posts.

[Master Moron]

I brought up the disabilit bit in my earlier comment with ShawnHopkins. Not my fault that you skimmed the posts.

I didn't skim it. You weren't specific. A disability could mean anything.

[Shawn Hopkins]

I brought up the disabilit bit in my earlier comment with ShawnHopkins. Not my fault that you skimmed the posts.

I actually figured you probably were paralyzed or something, but then you started talking about all the physical activities you do and I got confused.

But even if you do have Aspergers (not Internet self-diagnosed are you? because I took that test and if you took it in a self-pitying mood anyone could diagnose themselves with it, it on said I was "probably" non autistic), I still don't think you should use that as an excuse to not leave the nest and become independent. You definitely shouldn't assume your personal experience is applicable to most people.

[SSJPabs]

You chose a graduate school far away from home just to prove some kind of point to somebody? Who and what was the point?
To my parents to shut up and let me make some decisions without explaining that whatever my decision was it was reckless, immature, and a big big mistake. Every time. To throw in their face (because all other avenues had failed) that if not a full adult, I was at least adultish enough that they needed to treat me a little differently than when I was 16.

[Shawn Hopkins]

To my parents to shut up and let me make some decisions without explaining that whatever my decision was it was reckless, immature, and a big big mistake. Every time. To throw in their face (because all other avenues had failed) that if not a full adult, I was at least adultish enough that they needed to treat me a little differently than when I was 16.

Uh, okay. Making a major life decision primarily to spite your parents kind of sounds like an ironically immature way to handle being called immature, though. Like stomping out of the room if someone accuses you of being prone to tantrums.

[DarthGonzo]

To my parents to shut up and let me make some decisions without explaining that whatever my decision was it was reckless, immature, and a big big mistake. Every time. To throw in their face (because all other avenues had failed) that if not a full adult, I was at least adultish enough that they needed to treat me a little differently than when I was 16.

Dude, that attitude can only lead to failure. That's honestly an extremely unhealthy way to act as well as quite a disrespectful way to treat your parents. It sounds to me that your parents might actually be doing the right thing by not yet treating you like a rational adult. Because someone who moves away from home to go to college just to prove something to their parents and make them "shut up" isn't exactly acting rational.

[SSJPabs]

Uh, okay. Making a major life decision primarily to spite your parents kind of sounds like an ironically immature way to handle being called immature, though. Like stomping out of the room if someone accuses you of being prone to tantrums.

AND

Dude, that attitude can only lead to failure. That's honestly an extremely unhealthy way to act as well as quite a disrespectful way to treat your parents. It sounds to me that your parents might actually be doing the right thing by not yet treating you like a rational adult. Because someone who moves away from home to go to college just to prove something to their parents and make them "shut up" isn't exactly acting rational.

Except it hasn't led to failure, not yet anyhow. All things being equal in terms of where I was going to go to graduate school (not undergrad) that was without a doubt the deciding factor. I fail to see how that is immature as opposed to bucking a social convention of family.

You don't always need your family, and for some people the only way to live on is without them.

[Master Moron]

But even if you do have Aspergers (not Internet self-diagnosed are you? because I took that test and if you took it in a self-pitying mood anyone could diagnose themselves with it, it on said I was "probably" non autistic),

You know I was just reading the Wikipedia page to myself and realizing that I had most of the symptoms of Asperger's. I've never taken this online test though. Where can I find this test? I think I always end up freaking myself out whenever I read about symptoms of disabilities online.

Uh, okay. Making a major life decision primarily to spite your parents kind of sounds like an ironically immature way to handle being called immature, though. Like stomping out of the room if someone accuses you of being prone to tantrums.

Eh...I don't know. Sometimes proving someone wrong is a powerful motivator. I mean, if your parents told you were worthless your whole life and that motivates you to become successful then more power to you. It's certainly a better solution than accepting the fate that your parents have deemed you worthy of.

[Jave]

You know I was just reading the Wikipedia page to myself and realizing that I had most of the symptoms of Asperger's. I've never taken this online test though. Where can I find this test? I think I always end up freaking myself out whenever I read about symptoms of disabilities online.You know, a couple of months ago I asked my psychologist about Aspergers. I told him about self-diagnoses and online tests, and he told me that you can't possibly be 100% certain after taking those tests, since Aspergers diagnose requires actual interaction between the patient and the doctor doing the test. It's a lot more complex than an online test.

He also told me that a person with Aspergers cannot socialize, and that includes socializing through the Internet.

[Zebi]

You know I was just reading the Wikipedia page to myself and realizing that I had most of the symptoms of Asperger's. I've never taken this online test though. Where can I find this test? I think I always end up freaking myself out whenever I read about symptoms of disabilities online.

There's two tests that I've seen online. The first, and most accepted test, is the AQ (autism quotient) test, developed by psychologist Simon Baron-Cohen:

http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html

The other, which seems to be a favourite on various forums, is the Aspie Quiz:

http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php

You know, a couple of months ago I asked my psychologist about Aspergers. I told him about self-diagnoses and online tests, and he told me that you can't possibly be 100% certain after taking those tests, since Aspergers diagnose requires actual interaction between the patient and the doctor doing the test. It's a lot more complex than an online test.

I completely agree with this. These tests, by themselves, are not an true diagnosis. However, they can be interesting to take to see if there is a possibility of Asperger's.

He also told me that a person with Aspergers cannot socialize, and that includes socializing through the Internet.

Pardon me while I call BS on this. In my experience, I find socializing difficult - but not impossible. I have the desire to socialize, but my Asperger traits can make it difficult. I do have friends, both online and offline, although my circle of friends may not be as large as other people's.

[Cartoonlover]

I don't think you should say your dad is dumb as a brick. He just wants what's best for you. I know you've heard this, but it's true. He's older than you, and almost certainly wiser. Listen to him. Respect him. Love him. He's your father.

[Shawn Hopkins]

Eh...I don't know. Sometimes proving someone wrong is a powerful motivator. I mean, if your parents told you were worthless your whole life and that motivates you to become successful then more power to you. It's certainly a better solution than accepting the fate that your parents have deemed you worthy of.

That's a good point. But the most mature and independent choice would have been to pick the college that was best for you, regardless of what your overly critical parents say, whether that's in Timbuktu or next door to their house. Ignoring them rather than going out of your way to spite them.

Don't diagnose yourself with an online test. If you really have a problem, trying to diagnose yourself is like trying to get a clear picture of yourself through a cracked mirror. If you think there's something negatively affecting your life, see a doctor.

[Jave]

Pardon me while I call BS on this. In my experience, I find socializing difficult - but not impossible. I have the desire to socialize, but my Asperger traits can make it difficult. I do have friends, both online and offline, although my circle of friends may not be as large as other people's.Yeah, I probably worded it wrong. Sorry if it offended you, it wasn't my intention.

I believe what he was saying is that for a person with Aspergers, the symptoms prevent them from socializing in most cases. I'm sure that a lot of people actually want to socialize, but their traits make it difficult and in many cases impossible.

For the research I've done, (and anyone with more experience feel free to correct me if I'm wrong) one of the main aspects of Aspergers is that the person has a lack of empathy which is why they can't socialize in most cases. It's not impossible in every case, but it's definitely at least hard in nearly every case.

Socializing through the Internet is probably a little easier, since there's not much empathy involved, but it's still hard to build a circle of friends. People with AS can talk about a subject and grab people's attention with similar interests, which is probably a lot easier on the Internet than in real life.

[Zebi]

Yeah, I probably worded it wrong. Sorry if it offended you, it wasn't my intention.

I believe what he was saying is that for a person with Aspergers, the symptoms prevent them from socializing in most cases. I'm sure that a lot of people actually want to socialize, but their traits make it difficult and in many cases impossible.

Just so you know, I wasn't offended by anything you said ... it was the doctor's comments that were annoying. Now that you explain what he meant, I agree with him more. It's just that there are stereotypes thrown around about Aspies, such as we don't want to socialize, we don't feel empathy, etc. that are exaggarations of Asperger traits. The severity of the symptoms associated with Asperger's will vary from one person to another.

[Antiyonder]

Just so you know, I wasn't offended by anything you said ... it was the doctor's comments that were annoying. Now that you explain what he meant, I agree with him more. It's just that there are stereotypes thrown around about Aspies, such as we don't want to socialize, we don't feel empathy, etc. that are exaggarations of Asperger traits. The severity of the symptoms associated with Asperger's will vary from one person to another.

Since independance has been brought up in these posts, how did you do in your mid 20s (Living on your own, with parents, roommate)?

[The Wolverine]

Don't diagnose yourself with an online test. If you really have a problem, trying to diagnose yourself is like trying to get a clear picture of yourself through a cracked mirror. If you think there's something negatively affecting your life, see a doctor.
And if you legitimitely can't see a doctor to get a diagnosis for whatever reason (me and many others), what are you supposed to do then?

The Asperger's diagnostic process is long, hard, and in the United States, quite expensive. Neither I or my parents can afford the costs to see a psych.

[Jave]

And if you legitimitely can't see a doctor to get a diagnosis for whatever reason (me and many others), what are you supposed to do then?There's nothing you can do, then. You can't go around claiming to have something that requires medical diagnosis when in reality all you've done is taken an online test. Those tests might work as guidance, but as it has already been stated here they don't replace the real thing.

[The Wolverine]

There's nothing you can do, then. You can't go around claiming to have something that requires medical diagnosis when in reality all you've done is taken an online test. Those tests might work as guidance, but as it has already been stated here they don't replace the real thing.

And I'm not trying to replace the real thing. I'm just saying...

[Jave]

And I'm not trying to replace the real thing. I'm just saying...And I'm just answering. There's nothing you can do.

[Shawn Hopkins]

And if you legitimitely can't see a doctor to get a diagnosis for whatever reason (me and many others), what are you supposed to do then?

The Asperger's diagnostic process is long, hard, and in the United States, quite expensive. Neither I or my parents can afford the costs to see a psych.

Vote for Barack Obama so you can get free health insurance? Actually, if you have a legitimate need and really can't afford it, I bet you could get a Medicaid card or some other help. I know when I needed a very serious test once when I was unemployed all I had to do was swallow a little pride and go to the hospital and sign up for their charity program, and I bet local mental health agencies have similar arrangements considering they often deal with the indigent.

The problem with doing an online diagnosis is that, yeah, you may actually have a serious problem, but it might not be exactly what you think it is. A doctor should narrow it down for sure. And don't you really want to be certain?

[Master Moron]

So, what would be the benefit of finding out that you have a psychological disorder? I mean, personally, if I found out I had a psychological disorder it might actually negatively affect me. I would start to doubt my ability to make achievements in life and would think of myself as abnormal. I wonder if one would be happier not knowing they had a disorder.

[Light Lucario]

You know, I find it a little ridiculous that you people have been arguing against the idea of moving out of your parents house this whole thread, and you just know decide to tell me you have asperger's syndrome. That would be like arguing that living on the first floor is better than living on the eighth floor for two pages and then deciding to let me know that you're paralyzed from the neck down. I mean, come on. Of course people who have a condition that prevents them from having social interactions with others would not benefit as much from living away from their parents as others would. That's common sense. But, that's an exception to the rule. You can't counter my proposition that it's necessary for one's social development to move out of your parents' house with an exception to the general rule.

As for your particular situation, I'm really not going to try to give you any advice since the only thing I really know about Asperger's syndrome is what I read on Wikipedia, I will just say that I was socially anxious when I first entered college. I didn't really have any friends in high school and I really didn't know how to act around people. I used to say "uhhh" and "ummm" before every sentence I made. I was talking to one of my friends on the phone a couple of weeks ago and she was telling me that when she first met me in my freshmen year of college I was really quiet and kind of creepy. She remarked on how much I've changed over the years. I'm not saying moving out will help you in your particular situation, you should talk to your therapist about that. But, I'm just saying that in my particular situation living away from my parents was necessary to relieve my social anxiety.

I'm probably just digging a hole for myself deeper, but I wanted to make something clear here.

The reason why I mentioned my syndrome in the first place was to explain why it would be harder on me emotionally to move out than it could be for other people. I wasn't trying to counter any of your points. All I was trying to do was to explain how I feel regarding moving out on my own and being in more of a socialized environment. I would be too nervous and too uncomfortable to deal with that. That's why I mentioned that I would go at my own pace, not at the pace of someone else. I didn't feel that mentioning my syndrome right away would have been necessary, but it turns out that it does. I can obviously enteract on-line better than in person since what I'm doing now feels more like typing my thoughts than actually talking to a person. That makes me feel less nervous usually.

If anyone is curious, I was officially diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome at my elementary school when I was eleven. I wasn't that familiar with the Internet back then and most of the teachers and staff members thought that I wasn't "mature" enough to handle my emotions without crying. Syaoran Li is right about the test process though. I remember having to write and take tests for a good couple of weeks before the lady finally told me that I was officially diagnosed, even though she did take notice immediately that I had that syndrome when she looked at me. It all had to do with my body language and how I was looking down while people were talking around me. I also love how incredibly off-topic this thread has become.

So, what would be the benefit of finding out that you have a psychological disorder? I mean, personally, if I found out I had a psychological disorder it might actually negatively affect me. I would start to doubt my ability to make achievements in life and would think of myself as abnormal. I wonder if one would be happier not knowing they had a disorder.

That's a good question. While I obviously can't speak for everyone else here with Asperger's, finding out that I have that syndrome did help me in a positive way. For starters, the teachers in my elementary school finally knew that there was something different about me from the other kids and I wasn't trying to cause trouble by crying when people bothered me. In every other school that I went to, middle school and onward, the teachers were given noticed about my special needs, being emotional and socially uncomfortable, at the beginning of the school year, They knew that I didn't like groups so they would give me options, they knew that I may need to leave if I was too emotionally upset for whatever reason, that I may need extra time on tests and that I have a place to calm down and relax when I get too upset. I usually don't tell my classmates since I feel much more nervous around them than around teachers and staff members.

Finding out about my Asperger's Syndrome also explained a lot for me personally as I got a bit older. I understood why I acted so differently from my other classmates. They wanted to play on monkey bars and four square in elementary school, while I wanted to walk around and notice the playground. As I got older, they wanted to go and hang out in parties and concerts, while I was much more content with staying at home, reading, writing and playing video games. In my case, finding out about my psychological disorder helped me in not only in my school environment, but to understand a bit more about myself and my behavior. Plus, the teachers and peers at my elementary school already thought that I was abnormal so finding a name for my disorder at least let me know that there was a term to describe my behavior so it wasn't like I was like some weird creature unable to be understood by people outside of my family.

[Zebi]

Since independance has been brought up in these posts, how did you do in your mid 20s (Living on your own, with parents, roommate)?

At the time, I was living at home with my dad. Since the college I was attending was in the same city, he felt it was a good idea so that I could save money.

So, what would be the benefit of finding out that you have a psychological disorder? I mean, personally, if I found out I had a psychological disorder it might actually negatively affect me. I would start to doubt my ability to make achievements in life and would think of myself as abnormal. I wonder if one would be happier not knowing they had a disorder.

For those of us with Asperger's Syndrome, it can actually be a relief ... a relief to learn that there is an explanation for why you are so different from those around, an explanation for your quirks, an explanation for why certain things have been so difficult for you. At least that's the way it was for me; I was 34 when I was diagnosed.

Another benefit is that a formal diagnosis allows you to access support services. Both of the agencies in my area require a formal diagnosis before they will set up an intake interview to talk to a potential client about their services. Not everyone with Asperger's may require support services, but it is good to be able to access them if needed.

[Antiyonder]

So, what would be the benefit of finding out that you have a psychological disorder? I mean, personally, if I found out I had a psychological disorder it might actually negatively affect me. I would start to doubt my ability to make achievements in life and would think of myself as abnormal. I wonder if one would be happier not knowing they had a disorder.

Not so much that we're thrilled to discover a disability, but an understanding on why we function the way we do.

I mean part of coping with a situation is a full understanding of the situation (knowledge is power, as they say).

[The Wolverine]

Vote for Barack Obama so you can get free health insurance? Actually, if you have a legitimate need and really can't afford it, I bet you could get a Medicaid card or some other help. I know when I needed a very serious test once when I was unemployed all I had to do was swallow a little pride and go to the hospital and sign up for their charity program, and I bet local mental health agencies have similar arrangements considering they often deal with the indigent.
I do have a Medicaid card; but along with not really finding time to go ahead with anything, the choices I have in terms of doctors is quite low (there are very few autism/Asperger specialists in the Phoenix area, and most of them don't see adults).

The problem with doing an online diagnosis is that, yeah, you may actually have a serious problem, but it might not be exactly what you think it is. A doctor should narrow it down for sure. And don't you really want to be certain?
I know what you're saying, yeah. However, I know myself better than any doctor ever will. I'm quite certain, and so are my parents, that I'm correct.

The last time I did see a psych was maybe 8-10 years ago, and all he did was diagnose me with OCD and pushed meds on me, which only made things worse.

[Shawn Hopkins]

I do have a Medicaid card; but along with not really finding time to go ahead with anything, the choices I have in terms of doctors is quite low (there are very few autism/Asperger specialists in the Phoenix area, and most of them don't see adults).


I know what you're saying, yeah. However, I know myself better than any doctor ever will. I'm quite certain, and so are my parents, that I'm correct.

The last time I did see a psych was maybe 8-10 years ago, and all he did was diagnose me with OCD and pushed meds on me, which only made things worse.

I consider that akin to looking through a flawed lense and expecting an undistorted picture. If there's really something wrong with you psychologically, it'll probably keep you from accurately diagnosing yourself. And even if it doesn't get in the way, no one can observe or even think about themselves in a completely objective way.

You live in a major city and have the closest thing in this country to free health care. Doesn't sound like going to a doctor would be impossible in your case, just that you consider it too much of a hassle or don't want to. Eight or ten years ago Aspergers was less commonly known or understood, so you'd probably have a better experience today.

[Master Moron]

Okay, I know we're getting kind of off topic here, but now I'm really interested in learning more about this condition. So, is there ever hope that one with asperger's can become cured? I mean, will one who has asperger's ever be able to interact socially with others, function in group settings in the workplace, and get married? Or are they destined to spend the rest of their lives alone?

Or do people who have asperger's not want to socialize with others? I mean, I guess I was always under the impression that people with asperger's wanted to have normal social lives but they couldn't because of their condition. But, the general impression I'm getting from this thread is that people with asperger's are generally content with their condition and don't want to interact with others.

[Antiyonder]

I mean, will one who has asperger's ever be able to interact socially with others.

It doesn't mean that social interaction is impossible, but simply harder to accomplish. In my case it wasn't just the asperger that made socializing hard, but the fact that I was a strange person in a strange state. Back in my home state of Utah, I did pretty well in the social settings.

Basically because students from kindergarten to elementary to my understanding, are more willing to expand their social circle while in High School, students tend to stick to who they already know. In my case, I didn't have a life long friendship with any students in the High School I attended after moving, whereas in Utah I had some elementary school friends to fall back on.

[Zeonic Freak]

Actually, I hear it's pretty common for some people over 21 to live with their parents.

I for one still do on account of my disability.

Im about to do that again this weekend. Ive spent the last year on my own, while its been pretty fun and full of adventure (to say the least), its gets expensive.

My mother brought it up to me back at 4th of July. She said that its just much easier if i stay with them for a while, and it is easier on me too. I really only make enough get by on my own, and as for bills, i dont have enough per check to cover them (which is why they do). Ive been in Raleigh area for the past 10 years, and last summer, my parents moved to South Carolina due to finantual reasons/my dads job. I took that opportunity to be on my own to try it out.

Now that certain things have came up, i really have no choice but to live with them for a while. But thats not considered a bad thing. My parents will still treat me like im 22, not like a teenager with a cerfew (then again, maybe). I get to eat at home and live off what my mother makes in her crockpot (which 95 something precent of the time is really really REALLY GOOD). I get my own room with privacy (something i really havent had in the last 3 months due to my living situation with a family), and the fact that im at one place till i get back on my feet.

For the past year, ive been living at 4 houses with people i know in order to stay here for school and work. Its worked out pretty well. But, i do have quite a bit of stuff, and im just tired of moving it around every few months (depending on the situation). I will say this, im pretty good at adapting to different enviroments. Even thought ive got quite a bit of a "Gypsy" lifestyle (ive moved over like 20+ times in my lifetime), im never really in one spot for too long. Ive gotten pretty good to adjusting to places ive been staying, which im sure is a good qualification for a traveler.

All in all, i miss my folks, and i did my best to be on my own. Im not saying i havent tried to stick it out. I was at one point trying to get a testing job at a game company around the Raleigh area (i was told to test the new MK vs DC game at Epic), but that fell through. If it did work, i would make enough to support myself. Ive also tried other jobs and branches at my work to make more money, but those didnt last long.

Im also dealing with a situation that i explained in the XBox Gamertag section thread, which is about me signing a housing lease a few months back, and im trying my best to get out of it. Either way, i know somthing will work out.

My mom explained to me that this past year wasnt a failed thing due to me moving in with them, and i dont think so either. Im just ready to get this week over with and move down there.

As for how Brandons parents act, i dont think mine do that to me at all.

So, thats my long story...

[The Wolverine]

Okay, I know we're getting kind of off topic here, but now I'm really interested in learning more about this condition. So, is there ever hope that one with asperger's can become cured? I mean, will one who has asperger's ever be able to interact socially with others, function in group settings in the workplace, and get married? Or are they destined to spend the rest of their lives alone?

Or do people who have asperger's not want to socialize with others? I mean, I guess I was always under the impression that people with asperger's wanted to have normal social lives but they couldn't because of their condition. But, the general impression I'm getting from this thread is that people with asperger's are generally content with their condition and don't want to interact with others.
Most people with Aspergers want to socialize (and some do, and even get married and have kids), and some don't.

As for completely curing, well... that's a whole different debate, and one that can get quite personal and ugly.

Me personally, I have trouble interacting with people (even online), though I am content at the same time.

[Light Lucario]

Okay, I know we're getting kind of off topic here, but now I'm really interested in learning more about this condition. So, is there ever hope that one with asperger's can become cured? I mean, will one who has asperger's ever be able to interact socially with others, function in group settings in the workplace, and get married? Or are they destined to spend the rest of their lives alone?

Or do people who have asperger's not want to socialize with others? I mean, I guess I was always under the impression that people with asperger's wanted to have normal social lives but they couldn't because of their condition. But, the general impression I'm getting from this thread is that people with asperger's are generally content with their condition and don't want to interact with others.

First off, Asperger's Syndrome is not something that I would personally say needs a cure. It's more a part of our personalities so I don't think that there's something that can "cure" a person's personality. Some people have a different level of autism that is different from Asperger's and they act differently regarding socializing. Just like Antiyonder said, having Asperger's doesn't make socializing impossible. It just makes it harder to do. Some people are perfectly comfortable with working in groups. A person like me, however, would feel very nervous, barely talk and feel isolated when they start talking among themselves. If someone came up to me to talk, then I would feel less nervous because I didn't put myself in a vunlerable position by trying to talk to someone.

Some people with Asperger's do get married and have children. My mom thinks that she has Asperger's, even though she was never tested for it and I have heard of other parents discovering that they have Asperger's after they learn that their child has been tested for it. And some don't. People with Asperger's aren't destined to be alone, at least in my eyes. People either chose to be alone or aren't able to find the one person they want to be with. I personally never wanted to be normal because I don't think normal really exists. I am basically content with having Asperger's Syndrome, it is like my personality afterall and I'm also content with just interacting with people in my family and teahcers. Beyond that, I get nervous with other people, but I'm still content with my life like that.