Show of affection and love in public

[En Sabah Nur]

What do you think of people showing affection and love of one another in public places? By public places I mean parks, streets, bus/subways and other public places where masses can gather. By affection and love I mean holding hands, kissing, making out, hugging and other stuff a couple would normally do.

I knew many people who disliked seeing that kind of stuff. They would say its inappropriate and it should not be done in public. Most of those people who criticized public display of affection were single. And when a few of them got girlfriends/boyfriends, their mindset was drastically changed and they did the exact thing they used to dislike. So I came to a conclusion that they were just jealous and tried to find other excuses for it. I found myself in similar situation. When I hooked up with a friend of mine and we started to date, we started to show affection in public and some on my single friends were criticizing us for it.

So my question is, what do you think about a public display of affection and love? inappropriate or perfectly fine.

[Tapout]

It all depends on the level of it. Holding hands, a quick hug, that kind of stuff is fine. If they're trying to eat one another's face they should have dogs set loose on them.

[Harvey Two Face]

I don't mind public displays of affection until it becomes sexual, that's where the term, "GET A ROOM!" comes into effect.

[Temple Fugate]

I instinctively look away whenever I see two people kissing. It doesn't matter if it's family members, friends, or a random couple on the street. I regard kissing as a rather private thing. Whenever I kissed a girl that I was attracted to, we were always alone. I never initiated a kiss in public because to me, it's rude to onlookers and it makes me feel uncomfortable.

I have no problem with hugging. Holding hands, though, just never appealed to me. I realize people do it to keep a physical bond between them, but I would be very against holding hands with a girlfriend.

That's not to say I hate it when I see people kissing. I know most people don't think that it's a big deal. But if you've got a kiss that's going for more than five or ten seconds...they're either showing off or getting way too into it for public.

There are situations where I think it's definitely rude to kiss in public. For example, if me and some friends are out at a restaurant and two of my friends who are boyfriend and girlfriend start kissing. That's a more private activity that naturally excludes the rest of the group, like if I were to start whispering something secret to a friend sitting next to me. It makes the rest of us feel uncomfortable and left out. They can easily save that and more for later that night.

Can you tell I never understood the appeal of those Big Red commercials? :p So first you chew a horrible tasting gum, and then you're stuck in a five-hour kiss? Pass.

In regards to platonic displays of affection, I have a huge problem with being pat on the back or on the shoulder. That's a surprise invasion of my personal space that puts my nerves on alert and it takes me a while to calm myself down after someone does it to me.

[Shawn Hopkins]

I don't see any problem with it unless someone takes it way over the line into the "get a room" stage.

"Lovey dovey" baby talk annoys me for some reason, though. Probably the infantilization.

The first college I went to, Alice Lloyd College in the middle of nowhere Kentucky, actually had a rule against PDA. There were weirdly few obvious couples on campus, but I did see some holding hands and things so the rule wasn't that strictly enforced. It was a very conservative, Christian college and I didn't fit in there at all. When I went to my next college, just a state school, everyone seemed liked summer of love free spirits by comparison.

[Hanshotfirst113]

Gooey romantic that I am, I find people holding hands to be kind of cute :sweat:. I suppose that a little kiss kind of is too. Even static clinging or goo-goo eyes are still kind of cute. Hugs? I certainly have no problem with hugs! My best friend is extremely "huggy" (And huggable!), and that's pretty much how she and I greet each other, say goodbye, etc. It's affectionate, but I'd hope not inappropriate. We are usually alone when we do, but I certainly don't see how it could be misconstrued if we were in public. That's certainly never the intention that either of us have. The people making out and sucking face when I go to the movies and elsewhere do irritate me, but then again, maybe if I tired it, I wouldn't mind it so much ;). 21 and never kissed yet :sad:. As it stands though, that's really where I tend to draw the line and get pretty irritated. To be honest, having been raised in a pretty strongly Catholic family in three private religious schools, I've developed a certain prudishness that makes me a bit embarrassed. I'm as sheltered as can be, so it really influences my judgment. I'm not comfortable around a lot of things like this, even in discussion, certainly not my own feeling and things on the issue. So there you go.

Now, cell phones in public? There's a topic that I could talk about :mad:!

[XOMiss_Samantha]

I think there is a line that you can either cross or not. PDA never bothered me unless it got to a point where it was in my way or just really obnoxious. Holding hands, being 'lovedovey' seeing that stuff just makes me go 'aw' most of the time and not 'ew wtf'. I think seeing it everyday in the halls of school just makes you not care so much.
My friends are always giving me hugs and such, as am I, so it's never really a problem when it comes to personal space being invaded. My best friend [though he doesn't look it] is quite strong and once picked me up and swung me around after we had reconciled a fight.

The people making out and sucking face when I go to the movies and elsewhere do irritate me, but then again, maybe if I tired it, I wouldn't mind it so much ;)That bothers me when it's loud. I won't deny the fact that I've kissed a boy in the movie theater, but I didn't make a production out of it nor did I try to barrel him over and push him on the floor or something crazy. When I saw Dark Knight I was with my father, and it was very uncomfortable to her the couple behind us....doing what ever it was they were doing during the middle of the movie. That's when it becomes an issue. I don't want to HEAR you and your partner getting it on. Really.

[Temple Fugate]

"Lovey dovey" baby talk annoys me for some reason, though. Probably the infantilization.I'm against a lot of the "pet name" phrases as well. "Baby," "Honey," "Sugar," "Sweetie," etc. I find them to be patronizing, demeaning, and often insincere.

I once asked a female friend why she let her boyfriend call her "Baby" all the time. I was actually surprised when she tole me that she loved being called that. I asked her why she didn't consider it insulting, and she said that some girls like to be talked to like that because it makes them feel loved, protected, and cared about. She preferred that kind of safe relationship, letting her boyfriend take the lead and support her.

That may work fine for some people, but I still find it an insult to their status and their intelligence. Oddly enough, I don't like it when people use baby talk on actual babies for the exact same reason. It goes over well with them, though. :sweat:

[Silverstar]

I don't mind public displays of affection until it becomes sexual, that's where the term, "GET A ROOM!" comes into effect.

This.

[Dr.Pepper]

I am okay with holding hands or a quick hug but I think anything beyond that should stay in private

[En Sabah Nur]

I'm against a lot of the "pet name" phrases as well. "Baby," "Honey," "Sugar," "Sweetie," etc. I find them to be patronizing, demeaning, and often insincere.
Me and my girlfriend mostly refer to each other with "honey". I see nothing wrong with that.

[buttah]

I don't have a problem with it at all, even little kisses. But when it gets to the point where people are making out and they're making sounds I get grossed out just cause of the sloppy sounds and everything. So that's pretty much my limit.

[Light Lucario]

I don't mind public displays of affection until it becomes sexual, that's where the term, "GET A ROOM!" comes into effect.

I agree. I don't mind seeing people hug and hold hands in public. Being the helpless and shy romantic that I am, I often see that as a cute and sweet way of showing affection. Once it gets to the kissing stage though, I really don't want to see that. Kissing is a sweet form of affection, but I also consider it to be more private than holding hands and hugs. There was this one time in my second year of high school that fits your exact quote. There were these two people kissing right next to my locker, we weren't allowed to even hug in my high school as a sign of student to student affection, and I totally thought to myself, "Get a room." So yeah, long kisses is pretty much where I draw the line in terms of real public signs of affections.

[Cool Blue]

in school, holding hands seemed to be more of a "stay away i'm taken" as opposed to genuine sign of affection. but in public i don't see it anywhere near as much in presumed older couples. I say presumed because its not set in stone that they were dating, just a good guess. but as i've never held hands, i honestly think it looks annoying. why would you want to have something in your hand all the time, let alone, ANOTHER HAND. oh well.

Also, my brother and his girlfriend both called each other baby....about 3 times every sentence. now THAT got annoying. and yes kissing in public is kinda rude, but not if done right. and that means a short closed mouth good bye kiss. and something that is never tolerable is the grabbing of the opposite sex's bottom half. why, its not necessary...at all.

[En Sabah Nur]

in school, holding hands seemed to be more of a "stay away i'm taken" as opposed to genuine sign of affection. but in public i don't see it anywhere near as much in presumed older couples. I say presumed because its not set in stone that they were dating, just a good guess. but as i've never held hands, i honestly think it looks annoying. why would you want to have something in your hand all the time, let alone, ANOTHER HAND. oh well.

Also, my brother and his girlfriend both called each other baby....about 3 times every sentence. now THAT got annoying. and yes kissing in public is kinda rude, but not if done right. and that means a short closed mouth good bye kiss. and something that is never tolerable is the grabbing of the opposite sex's bottom half. why, its not necessary...at all.SO what you are saying that if a girl would want to hold hands with you you will not do it?

[Daxdiv]

I agree. I don't mind seeing people hug and hold hands in public. Being the helpless and shy romantic that I am, I often see that as a cute and sweet way of showing affection. Once it gets to the kissing stage though, I really don't want to see that. Kissing is a sweet form of affection, but I also consider it to be more private than holding hands and hugs. There was this one time in my second year of high school that fits your exact quote. There were these two people kissing right next to my locker, we weren't allowed to even hug in my high school as a sign of student to student affection, and I totally thought to myself, "Get a room." So yeah, long kisses is pretty much where I draw the line in terms of real public signs of affections.

I practically agree with this whole statement. Though the whole Kissing in public, a two second on the lip minimun is all I need to see, if I see it being a public make-out session, I advert my eyes, it sucks more if your on an escalator or elevator.

I had to deal with these two "Lovey-Dovey" couple in my graduation high school class. Every in between periods, they would make out, teacher would tell them to stop, their friends would tell them to stop. To me the worst part was having to deal with one of them in most of my classes. When it was the boy, it wasn't that bad, he talked about other stuff with his friends and I, when it was the girl, I could go on all day about that. She was very obbsessive with her BF, to the point where even people that hated her said "SHUT THE HELL UP!" She talked about him and why he was the greatest BF ever, then she talked more about random stuff. It was very annoying and a part of HS I want to supress. I heard they broke up since they went into different colleges, I don't care what happened to them.

[Shawn Hopkins]

in school, holding hands seemed to be more of a "stay away i'm taken" as opposed to genuine sign of affection. but in public i don't see it anywhere near as much in presumed older couples. I say presumed because its not set in stone that they were dating, just a good guess. but as i've never held hands, i honestly think it looks annoying. why would you want to have something in your hand all the time, let alone, ANOTHER HAND. oh well.

Also, my brother and his girlfriend both called each other baby....about 3 times every sentence. now THAT got annoying. and yes kissing in public is kinda rude, but not if done right. and that means a short closed mouth good bye kiss. and something that is never tolerable is the grabbing of the opposite sex's bottom half. why, its not necessary...at all.

Holding hands is great. It really makes you feel closer to the other person to have that tactile connection with them. It's the kind of experience they write songs about. You should try it.

Bottom-half grabbing is okay, but should probably be done in private.

[Cool Blue]

SO what you are saying that if a girl would want to hold hands with you you will not do it?

ha, honestly. i'd probably try to avoid it but i wouldn't sit there and defend it to the the teeth
and yes, in private grabbing a partners rear end is okay, but at the movies its where guys like me can see it..not necessary

[Mavericker]

If they are married, then I don't see anything wrong with it.

But they should be considerate of others-certain things people don't want to see in public.

[Dub C]

Heh, this topic reminds me of a time I was in my dorm room with one of my buds watching a football game, and another friend stopped by with his girlfriend. (I think they were waiting for someone, I can't remember) Well after a minute or so, they're on the other end of the couch making out, smooching, giggling...needless to say I was uncomfortable trying to stay focused watching the game. Thankfully it wasn't too long before they took off, but afterwards I turned to me friend and was like 'They couldn't do that somewhere else?' lol

[Lavenderpaw]

As long as they're not drowning themselves in kissing or,you know,doing it.Then it's fine to me.

The dork who had the audacity to ban hugging in some schools needs to be hugged himself...by a boa constricter. :evil:

[purplehairedwonder]

Holding hands, hugging, even short little kisses in public don't bother me. In fact, I think they're rather cute. But once you get into the territory of making out, I find it rude. There are some things that don't need to be seen in public. Have some respect for everyone around you, please.

[Temple Fugate]

The dork who had the audacity to ban hugging in some schools needs to be hugged himself...by a boa constricter. :evil:Absolutely. I can't believe how hypsersensitive society has gotten when it comes to PDA in schools. I heard stories about elementary teachers who have brought up charges of sexual assault just because a boy kissed a girl. Now I know I said I regard kissing as a more private thing, but it's clear that not everyone else does. We need to stop impressing these kinds of adult values on the children who are too young to understand why we are punishing them for things like this.

[Edgirl17]

I usually don't mind it, but sometimes, it can be pretty obnoxious.

[Ajax]

Holding hands, hugging, even short little kisses in public don't bother me. In fact, I think they're rather cute. But once you get into the territory of making out, I find it rude. There are some things that don't need to be seen in public. Have some respect for everyone around you, please. This.

I dont think anyone here has a problem with couplea holding hands, hugging, smooching etc. Its not that big a deal. Obivously what no one likes is when homeboy start rounding the bases with his girl and your not even 5 feet away. No one is comfortable with that.

[SSJPabs]

Depends on the place actually. Look at the earlier dorm room example. I probably wouldn't be bothered by that though I would not do it myself, or maybe outside at a park or something and a couple were making out on the bench.

Otherwise I guess I'm with the consensus, hand holding is fine, hugs are fine even long hugs, limited kissin' is fine.

[DarthNuriko]

To answer the initial question, I don't mind PDA to an extent. As others have said: a simple kiss or two, hand-holding, a nice hug, the relatively tame stuff.

I can't stand what I'm dubbing as "over-touching". Like I was behind this couple in line and the woman's lecherous little hand was just caressing her man's back, over and over and over again. This happened over ten years ago, but I never forgot it. It absolutely turned my stomach and still does to this day. More recently, there was a couple on the bus and the guy puts his arm around her shoulder and the hand is just stroking, stroking, stroking. Not once or twice, or thrice. A hand stuck on repeat or something. Hands around the shoulder are cute; couples do it all the time and I have no issue with it. And an affectionate hand on the back or waist or even thigh is fine, too. But the stroking part is nasty to me. I don't want to see that crap, especially if we're in a line or on a bus and I'm less than a foot behind you!

[SSJPabs]

I can't stand what I'm dubbing as "over-touching". Like I was behind this couple in line and the woman's lecherous little hand was just caressing her man's back, over and over and over again. This happened over ten years ago, but I never forgot it. It absolutely turned my stomach and still does to this day.

That's interesting. Saw that about 3 weeks ago actually, except the woman had longer nails so she was running her nails along the back of his shirt. I found it a bit amusing but not repulsive at all. I wonder why it turned your stomach? That seems like a really strong reaction and I'd like to hear more.

[Mynd Hed]

Wow, I must be the only one who feels like couples should be able to do whatever the heck they feel comfortable with in public. It puts a smile on my face to see two people who really are just that into each other.

'Course, there can be special circumstances involved-- if you're at the movies, it shouldn't get to the point where it's distracting to the other moviegoers (and for that matter, you paid nine bucks a head to watch the movie yourselves, didn't you? There have to be cheaper places to do it if all you want to do is make out). And if you're hanging out with a group, it can be rude if you're paying attention to one another to the exclusion of the rest of the group.

But if it's jut the two of you out together in a public place, I say hug, kiss, grope, or have sex right there at the bus stop for all I care.

[Ajax]

Wow, I must be the only one who feels like couples should be able to do whatever the heck they feel comfortable with in public. It puts a smile on my face to see two people who really are just that into each other..Dont think anyone here is suggesting that couples shouldnt do whatever they want in public. This is more what they think when they see it.

'Course, there can be special circumstances involved-- if you're at the movies, it shouldn't get to the point where it's distracting to the other moviegoers (and for that matter, you paid nine bucks a head to watch the movie yourselves, didn't you? There have to be cheaper places to do it if all you want to do is make out). And if you're hanging out with a group, it can be rude if you're paying attention to one another to the exclusion of the rest of the group.Well there you go. For you its the movies, for some its being in line, for others it the bus or subway, and for the unlucky few the backseat of your car when your driving lol.

[SSJPabs]

Well there you go. For you its the movies, for some its being in line, for others it the bus or subway, and for the unlucky few the backseat of your car when your driving lol.

But when it's done with movies it actually impedes your physical ability to experience the material. As long as they don't crash into you or make you swerve (unexpected occurrences) how does a couple making out behind you keep from riding the mass transit, waiting in line or driving?

I think I should make myself clear: I agree with Mynd Hed, since unless it was say, during a meeting or conversation I was trying to have with the people I really wouldn't care.

[Lightning Tiger]

Wow, I must be the only one who feels like couples should be able to do whatever the heck they feel comfortable with in public. It puts a smile on my face to see two people who really are just that into each other.


i agree with what he said.

[Ajax]

But when it's done with movies it actually impedes your physical ability to experience the material. As long as they don't crash into you or make you swerve (unexpected occurrences) how does a couple making out behind you keep from riding the mass transit, waiting in line or driving?

I think I should make myself clear: I agree with Mynd Hed, since unless it was say, during a meeting or conversation I was trying to have with the people I really wouldn't care.Oh I agree with Mynd Hed too. I just question wether he would indeed be comfortable if there was a couple partically having sex behind him on the transit. And im not talking about a good looking couple either, im talking about unattractive couples. And im not bagging on unattractive people, but were not talking about porn scenes here were only the good looking people do it in public. I mean, if you saw a really old couple partically getting it on, thats pretty much a disturbing site and I call shannagins if you guys say that would put a smile on ur face lulz.
Im just saying if you see that going on behind you its porally something you dont want to see when your riding the bus, and proally something that nobody would be totally comfortable with.
Your right it doesnt keep me from riding the bus, on that day, but if I see the same couple the next day you know for damn sure Im taking the next bus lol. Just to clarify, Im not saying people shouldnt, just saying I wish some wouldnt lol.

[Temple Fugate]

Dont think anyone here is suggesting that couples shouldnt do whatever they want in public. This is more what they think when they see it.Right. If they're at a bus stop or in some enclosure that's semi-private and having a heavy make-out session, I'd consider that much less obnoxious than the same thing being in a line or at a fast food place or some other more public area. To me it just seems rude. Not rude from a "Look at us we love each other so much don't you wish you had a girlfriend" rude, as I'm pretty sure they're not thinking about showing off. They're thinking exclusively about each other, and that in itself is rude because it shows zero consideration for the public around them. Are they in the way? Are they moving or making sounds that are distracting? Etc.

Well there you go. For you its the movies, for some its being in line, for others it the bus or subway, and for the unlucky few the backseat of your car when your driving lol.I have a strict "No Kissing" rule in my car. Even when I'm not driving it. One of my old roommates had to use my car to pick his girlfriend up from the airport and specifically asked if I would let him drive it alone, because it would be awkward if I was "chaperoning." I didn't really mind, but I made him promise NOT to kiss her in my car. If anybody's going to be kissing in my car, it will be me, and even then not if there are other passengers besides the person I'm kissing.

[En Sabah Nur]

I have a strict "No Kissing" rule in my car. Even when I'm not driving it. One of my old roommates had to use my car to pick his girlfriend up from the airport and specifically asked if I would let him drive it alone, because it would be awkward if I was "chaperoning." I didn't really mind, but I made him promise NOT to kiss her in my car. If anybody's going to be kissing in my car, it will be me, and even then not if there are other passengers besides the person I'm kissing.Do you actually think he didn't kiss her?

I usually limit these things to just holding hands, hugs, and kisses on the lips in public. I fund others I enjoy doing in a more private setting. Its not about others, its about me not being comfortable with other things.

[lemonhead75]

Honestly, I don't have a problem with it. But there is a line not to be crossed. If I look across the hallway at school and one student is trying to take someone elses face off, It's not ok. Hugs, holding hands, or quick kisses, they don't bother me at all. Except when you find that one couple who walk while kissing. I mean, seriously.:sweat:

[En Sabah Nur]

There were a lot of responses to this thread. So now here is a question.
Of all of you who protest any or some acts of public affection, are you currently single? and if yes, do you think that your view of public affection would change if you had a girl/boyfriend? or would you still think the same?

[Temple Fugate]

Do you actually think he didn't kiss her?I'm really not sure. One one hand he's the kind of guy who would keep his word. On the other hand, he's also the kind of guy who would forget he made such a promise in the first place. As long as I don't know if he did or not, then I'm just going to assume he didn't. :anime:

Of all of you who protest any or some acts of public affection, are you currently single? and if yes, do you think that your view of public affection would change if you had a girl/boyfriend? or would you still think the same?I'm definitely single, and I'm aware that my view is limited based on the limited relationships I've had so far in my lifetime. However, as I said earlier in this thread, I'm mostly a hands-off guy. I don't like it when people pat me on the shoulder or the back. A handshake or hug is not a problem, since those are mutual actions that I can anticipate and prepare to share my personal space. It's the sudden, unexpected stuff that rattles me, and I can't control that. It's just instinctual.

Kissing and all that, while also mutual, goes one step beyond a simple hug or handshake. To me it's a very personal thing, something I wouldn't want to share publicly very often. I don't know if a future girlfriend would manage to coax me into hand-holding or making out or other things I currently have no desire to do in public. I'm worried that, if I insist on not doing those types of things while in public she would accuse me of regretting our relationship, of being uncomfortable publicly admitting we were in a relationship, or other things, and those are valid concerns I wouldn't blame her for having. I'm a little dispassionate for a human being. Too rational for my own good. :p

I've wondered if my dislike of people kissing in public is based on jealousy that they're in a relationship and I'm not. I really don't think that's the case. It has more to do with my perception of kissing as something more private and intimate than what most people see it as. So when I see couples kissing in public, unless it's under specific social circumstances as stated in mine and other posts in this thread, then I'm not going to hold anything against them.

[Shawn Hopkins]

Right. If they're at a bus stop or in some enclosure that's semi-private and having a heavy make-out session, I'd consider that much less obnoxious than the same thing being in a line or at a fast food place or some other more public area. To me it just seems rude. Not rude from a "Look at us we love each other so much don't you wish you had a girlfriend" rude, as I'm pretty sure they're not thinking about showing off. They're thinking exclusively about each other, and that in itself is rude because it shows zero consideration for the public around them. Are they in the way? Are they moving or making sounds that are distracting? Etc.

I have a strict "No Kissing" rule in my car. Even when I'm not driving it. One of my old roommates had to use my car to pick his girlfriend up from the airport and specifically asked if I would let him drive it alone, because it would be awkward if I was "chaperoning." I didn't really mind, but I made him promise NOT to kiss her in my car. If anybody's going to be kissing in my car, it will be me, and even then not if there are other passengers besides the person I'm kissing.

You roommate had sex in your car.

[Ajax]

There were a lot of responses to this thread. So now here is a question.
Of all of you who protest any or some acts of public affection, are you currently single? and if yes, do you think that your view of public affection would change if you had a girl/boyfriend? or would you still think the same?I dont think its a matter of being single or not. Or if you had a girlfriend/boyfriend would you defend extreme cases of public affection. Its a matter of class and education imho (not to mention I think a lot of us have shame lol).

When Ive had girlfriends, I've tried to refrain from exhibiting too much of my "affection" in public because I know its something the people around me dont wanna see; plus how easy is it to find somewhere private to handle your business. Its just a matter of respect for the people around you. Thats not to say people shouldnt, I dont mind, but I dont tend to think particularly high of people who cant keep it in their pants until they get home or somewhere private.

[Brandon Pierce]

Public affection isn't too bad I guess. Hugging, kissing, holding, I think it's fine. But, the day I get myself a girlfriend, will be the day I stop disapproving of public displays of affection.

[SSJPabs]

Of all of you who protest any or some acts of public affection, are you currently single? and if yes, do you think that your view of public affection would change if you had a girl/boyfriend? or would you still think the same?
Excellent question and I'm glad you asked it. It bothered me slightly more when I was single, but even then I never had a kind of visceral reaction to it. Discussing it with my girlfriend she thinks we have an "appropriate" level of PDAs, in that quick kiss, hand hold, arm around the shoulder, a bit of hugging (she's not a hugger) but we don't make out in public or anything like that.

I used to be a very hands off person too, but then I decided I wanted to have an excuse to hug cute girls and so I became a hugger-hands-on type person about a decade ago.

[Light Lucario]

There were a lot of responses to this thread. So now here is a question.
Of all of you who protest any or some acts of public affection, are you currently single? and if yes, do you think that your view of public affection would change if you had a girl/boyfriend? or would you still think the same?

That's a good question. Yes, I am currently single. In fact, I actually haven't been on a date before.:sweat: I'm a pretty shy person honestly. If someone actually wanted to be my boyfriend, for some reason that I probably couldn't comprehend, I would think that my views of public affection would remain the same. I wouldn't have a problem with holding hands or hugging in public. Kissing is also more of a private thing in my views, since that goes through an intimate level of connection, so that would also remain as a private couple sign of affection.

[PC!]

Not a fan of PDA.

And it's not simply because I'm single and bitter. =(

Seriously, though, I don't mind it much, as long as the couples can control their hormones and not make a scene.

[Daxdiv]

I admit I am single, never dated someone, the only thing close was this girl that wouldn't leave me alone for some odd reason... but that something more for a blog than here. Though I don't think my views of someone making out in public will change if I ever get a woman, since I hope to atleast control myself when doing so. A quick smooch is all you need to do in public, it can be on the lips, or on the cheek. Holding hands is okay, not sure why people are afraid of it being homophobic now than anything else, hugs are also good.

[lemonhead75]

There were a lot of responses to this thread. So now here is a question.
Of all of you who protest any or some acts of public affection, are you currently single? and if yes, do you think that your view of public affection would change if you had a girl/boyfriend? or would you still think the same?

Single, and I don't know if my view would change until I get a girlfriend.

[purplehairedwonder]

I'm single, but I don't think my views would change much upon getting a boyfriend. After all, I don't mind some PDA, as long as it's not excessive. It's a matter of respecting the people around you, and I wouldn't want to do something in public that I don't like seeing other people doing. I try to be consistent :sweat:

[GWOtaku]

Really, who could possibly mind? Being comfortable with expressing love is a healthy thing. Making out in a movie theater & distracting those around you makes you a jerk, but that's about all. I mean, really, I'm not going to think or say "GET A ROOM!" over people hugging on the sidewalk or something. I'm totally with Mynd Hed up until, uh, the sex part, but I'll just assume he was being facetious. :p It's totally fine within reason.

Making out in a car would be a no-no. It's rude to the driver who's trying to drive and other passengers, who are left wishing that they were invisible. Newlyweds would get a pass and that's pretty much it.

[Hanshotfirst113]

The dork who had the audacity to ban hugging in some schools needs to be hugged himself...by a boa constricter. :evil:

Totally true.

Absolutely. I can't believe how hypsersensitive society has gotten when it comes to PDA in schools. I heard stories about elementary teachers who have brought up charges of sexual assault just because a boy kissed a girl. Now I know I said I regard kissing as a more private thing, but it's clear that not everyone else does. We need to stop impressing these kinds of adult values on the children who are too young to understand why we are punishing them for things like this.

I think that it's a fine line. I mean, I always have to remind myself not to judge others by my standards. And as a friend of mine finally pushed me into admitting, I'm probably something of a prude.

Well there you go. For you its the movies, for some its being in line, for others it the bus or subway, and for the unlucky few the backseat of your car when your driving lol.

I'm sure that I'll run into that problem at some point :rolleyes:.

Do you actually think he didn't kiss her?

I'm guessing "yes," he did kiss her, maybe and then some. But I really don't know.

I usually limit these things to just holding hands, hugs, and kisses on the lips in public. I fund others I enjoy doing in a more private setting. Its not about others, its about me not being comfortable with other things.That's easy to understand for me. I mean if I ever come to that point, I don't think that it's the kind of thing that I'll wave around like a flag. I'm not a private person by any stretch of the imagination, but if I ever start to get to a point of intimacy, I certainly won't go bragging about it and telling to everyone that I know. Or much of anyone, outside of my very best friends.

There were a lot of responses to this thread. So now here is a question.
Of all of you who protest any or some acts of public affection, are you currently single?

Extremely.

and if yes, do you think that your view of public affection would change if you had a girl/boyfriend? or would you still think the same?I've often wondered that. Last time I had a date, the Matrix sequels were in theaters and gas was 2 dollars a gallon. After all, maybe I wouldn't mind it so much if I gave it at try ;). In all seriousness, though, I'm not sure. I have a variety of friends, and they're all pretty different, and I don't really treat topics the same way with them (not just what we're talking about, but many different things). The majority of my friends, or at least quite a few of them, are women (my most trusted best friend among them). I'd probably feel even less comfortable around them (unfair and sexist of me, I think). It's much more often a bragging point with some guys, but I don't know if I'd do it around them either. Personally, as I said, I can be pretty prudish, and think displays of affection with sexual overtones are the kind of thing that I'd probably be more inclined to keep private. A lot of it simply has to do with the peculiar attitude towards it that I've picked up over the years, and my own very warped views on the subject. But as I said, I think that holding hands is pretty cute :)!

I guess that making out in the backseat or in a movie theater could hold a certain thrill (plus I've had a lifelong problem saying "no," and I think that I'm the kind of person who could be pushed into such a thing, sadly), but I don't know if I'd be up for it.

I'm really not sure. One one hand he's the kind of guy who would keep his word. On the other hand, he's also the kind of guy who would forget he made such a promise in the first place. As long as I don't know if he did or not, then I'm just going to assume he didn't. :anime:

It's easier to sleep at night that way :D.

I'm definitely single, and I'm aware that my view is limited based on the limited relationships I've had so far in my lifetime. However, as I said earlier in this thread, I'm mostly a hands-off guy. I don't like it when people pat me on the shoulder or the back. A handshake or hug is not a problem, since those are mutual actions that I can anticipate and prepare to share my personal space. It's the sudden, unexpected stuff that rattles me, and I can't control that. It's just instinctual.Ah. See, I'm very touchy-feely, probably because most of my friends are women, particularly women are fairly feminine and are themselves affectionate in that respect. I've never felt that our frequent touches are sexual in any way, nor have I ever intended them as such. I personally avoid physical contact with most people because they most likely have similar feelings to yours, but I think that a handshake is cool. Lots of guys that I know can be pretty rough with punches, slaps, etc. I'm not the type (I'm very fragile :o!) but lots of guys do. It's different, I suppose.

Kissing and all that, while also mutual, goes one step beyond a simple hug or handshake. To me it's a very personal thing, something I wouldn't want to share publicly very often. I don't know if a future girlfriend would manage to coax me into hand-holding or making out or other things I currently have no desire to do in public. I'm worried that, if I insist on not doing those types of things while in public she would accuse me of regretting our relationship, of being uncomfortable publicly admitting we were in a relationship, or other things, and those are valid concerns I wouldn't blame her for having. I'm a little dispassionate for a human being. Too rational for my own good. :pAs I say, I've often wondered the same, but I'm the opposite in the respect that I'm hyper-emotional. Around my female friends, I frequently open up, and even cry (I did at WALL-E, too with her, but moving on....), but I suppose that it's just the type of guy that I am. I'm very emotional, intimate, unfortunately clingy at times, and very to take.

I've wondered if my dislike of people kissing in public is based on jealousy that they're in a relationship and I'm not. I really don't think that's the case. It has more to do with my perception of kissing as something more private and intimate than what most people see it as. So when I see couples kissing in public, unless it's under specific social circumstances as stated in mine and other posts in this thread, then I'm not going to hold anything against them.Fair enough.

You roommate had sex in your car.

Thank you Shawn! That's just what we needed to hear :rolleyes::p. Plus wouldn't that be uncomfortable? Moving on.....

That's a good question. Yes, I am currently single. In fact, I actually haven't been on a date before.:sweat: I'm a pretty shy person honestly. If someone actually wanted to be my boyfriend, for some reason that I probably couldn't comprehend, I would think that my views of public affection would remain the same. I wouldn't have a problem with holding hands or hugging in public. Kissing is also more of a private thing in my views, since that goes through an intimate level of connection, so that would also remain as a private couple sign of affection.

Not a fan of PDA.

And it's not simply because I'm single and bitter. =(

Seriously, though, I don't mind it much, as long as the couples can control their hormones and not make a scene.


Single, and I don't know if my view would change until I get a girlfriend.

Yeah, I mean, you don't know if you've never done it, at least that's how I feel.

I'm single, but I don't think my views would change much upon getting a boyfriend. After all, I don't mind some PDA, as long as it's not excessive. It's a matter of respecting the people around you, and I wouldn't want to do something in public that I don't like seeing other people doing. I try to be consistent :sweat:

Perfectly fair.

[peterg14]

Wow, a whole lot of responses.

But I'll just say that I have no problem with public displays of affection. When I have a girlfriend, I always feel like kissing and hugging her when we meet and leave, and I don't feel shy about it. And even when I don't, I don't really mind others doing it since it's their business and they can show affection how ever they want. The only thing I'm uncomfortable about is when they get sexual, then you should go get a room or go over to someone's house, because no one wants to see you get busy.

[SSJPabs]

I would like to point out that some "personal-space instincts" are in fact cultural and aside from that, can be changed.

[Hanshotfirst113]

I would like to point out that some "personal-space instincts" are in fact cultural and aside from that, can be changed.

I suppose that that depends though. I mean, certainly, in some cultures, personal space is considerable different from our concept of it, and a kiss/hug is a common greeting, but is that the same as an exchange with sexual undertones?

[thenewme93]

You roommate had sex in your car.

Oh my god that made me laugh my butt off..But jeez a little blunt are we?

[Jave]

Oh my god that made me laugh my butt off..But jeez a little blunt are we?Hey, as long as they didn't kiss, he kept his promise. :p

[SSJPabs]

I suppose that that depends though. I mean, certainly, in some cultures, personal space is considerable different from our concept of it, and a kiss/hug is a common greeting, but is that the same as an exchange with sexual undertones?No, it shouldn't be. I was talking about people who are not touch-feely. But some of the people on this thread have stated they are uncomfortable about almost all kinds of close contact even if it's not a PDA and I think that can be changed to an extent because it's partially cultural--you're not that way after all, you said it yourself. I submit that if they became more touchly feely they would feel less uncomfortable with PDAs in general.

But then I've made out in a movie theater before so maybe I am biased. :p

[thenewme93]

Hey, as long as they didn't kiss, he kept his promise. :p

Kickass! Loopholes rock! :D LOL j/k

[HeeHaw9]

Same responses as everyone. Small kisses, hugs, and holding hands are fine, but when thinkgs get freaky, I'm more likely to yell "get a room" or pester the couple getting their groove on. I do it to my friend's sister already...and if I had a boyfriend...I don't think I'd want him to even kiss me in public, I'm a bit shy. Hugs would be fine, and holding hands would be sort of inevitable. :sweat:

[Cartoonlover]

[quote=ShawnHopkins;2956429]I don't see any problem with it unless someone takes it way over the line into the "get a room" stage.

"Lovey dovey" baby talk annoys me for some reason, though. Probably the infantilization.

I hate that too.

[Hanshotfirst113]

Having drove past two people making out in a parking lot the other day, I've got to wonder, if people stop and look, are they bothered? I mean, I was trying to be polite, but it was pretty hard not to stare. If people do that sort of thing, would it be because they want to be seen? Is there a certain exhibitionist thrill to it? Or can they just not wait? Figured I might as well put some thoughts down.

[Shawn Hopkins]

Thank you Shawn! That's just what we needed to hear :rolleyes::p. Plus wouldn't that be uncomfortable? Moving on.....

Nah. Not if you do it the right way.

Oh, the parking lot thing. There's a high likelihood they're so into they don't even notice.

[tb4000]

I was at the mall last night and basically saw this guy on a bench using his laptop, then see his "girlfriend" run up to him, hop on his lap and just start kissing his neck and rubbing his chest under his shirt, making like they were the only ones there. People were still at the mall in full force, so I assume she was one of those "I don't give a crap who sees me" chicks, maybe feeding on the attention, but whatever.

[Cartoonlover]

I was at the mall last night and basically saw this guy on a bench using his laptop, then see his "girlfriend" run up to him, hop on his lap and just start kissing his neck and rubbing his chest under his shirt, making like they were the only ones there. People were still at the mall in full force, so I assume she was one of those "I don't give a crap who sees me" chicks, maybe feeding on the attention, but whatever.

(shudder):sweat:

[Hanshotfirst113]

Nah. Not if you do it the right way.

Oh, the parking lot thing. There's a high likelihood they're so into they don't even notice.

They were a single example. As for the question as a whole, I still wonder.

[G. Wen]

My views on PDA has been the same since before and after getting a boyfriend: holding hands, small kisses, hugs, I'm O.K. with all of that. I'm not O.K. with dry humping, grabbing private areas, mounting, necking, going under shirt/up skirt/in pants, etc. It's a public area, not your private space, have respect for other's in the area. It's like singing in public: no one minds someone quietly humming to themselves or whistling, but if someone is having a full on American Idol moment, even if they sing well, it's still annoying.

[En Sabah Nur]

My views on PDA has been the same since before and after getting a boyfriend: holding hands, small kisses, hugs, I'm O.K. with all of that. I'm not O.K. with dry humping, grabbing private areas, mounting, necking, going under shirt/up skirt/in pants, etc. It's a public area, not your private space, have respect for other's in the area. It's like singing in public: no one minds someone quietly humming to themselves or whistling, but if someone is having a full on American Idol moment, even if they sing well, it's still annoying.Unless its a public place where everyone does it. In central Park, there are places where couples will gather on a lawn on on rocks or on some grassy area, (blanket optional) and just lay there making out, petting and other things. Me and my girlfriend did that this summer there as well. I think its fine cause everyone does it. :cool:

[G. Wen]

I doubt you guys were dry humping in the park... but I'm assuming.

[En Sabah Nur]

I doubt you guys were dry humping in the park... but I'm assuming.no dry humping lol, we were just making out.

[Temple Fugate]

I was at the mall last night and basically saw this guy on a bench using his laptop, then see his "girlfriend" run up to him, hop on his lap and just start kissing his neck and rubbing his chest under his shirt, making like they were the only ones there. People were still at the mall in full force, so I assume she was one of those "I don't give a crap who sees me" chicks, maybe feeding on the attention, but whatever.That's exactly the kind of thing I wouldn't appreciate. At that point I would say to her "There is a time, and a place." He could have been doing some very important work there.

[stargirl]

I do not like PDA. At all.

I mean, it's fine to just kiss and all, but straddling someone's lap to do it? No thanks...

[Russkafin]

I was at the mall last night and basically saw this guy on a bench using his laptop, then see his "girlfriend" run up to him, hop on his lap and just start kissing his neck and rubbing his chest under his shirt, making like they were the only ones there. People were still at the mall in full force, so I assume she was one of those "I don't give a crap who sees me" chicks, maybe feeding on the attention, but whatever.

That's hot.

[Hanshotfirst113]

Unless its a public place where everyone does it. In central Park, there are places where couples will gather on a lawn on on rocks or on some grassy area, (blanket optional) and just lay there making out, petting and other things. Me and my girlfriend did that this summer there as well. I think its fine cause everyone does it. :cool:

Well, if everyone in the area is doing the same thing, then does it technically qualify?

That's exactly the kind of thing I wouldn't appreciate. At that point I would say to her "There is a time, and a place." He could have been doing some very important work there.

If he wasn't before, he was then ;).

That's hot.

Thank you Paris.