40-year old track coach MARRIES 16-year old student

[The Wolverine]

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=3305652&page=1

Girl's parents say they had no choice but to sign the consent forms, or else said girl wouldn't speak to them ever again.

Yeah right. If I was her parents, I'd refuse to sign the forms regardless.

[Martianinvader]

That coach looks creepy.

What state is this? What exactly is the "legal" age in most places? I thought it was 18....

[Captain Highwind]

And I'm sure when all this blows up in the girl's face, she's going to blame the parents.

Obviously, just a wee bit more thought could have gone into all of this on her part.

It's obviously up to the adult figure to set the boundaries.

QFT.

[Kury Wagner]

What state is this? What exactly is the "legal" age in most places? I thought it was 18....You have to be 18 to marry someone without parental consent, in most places in the states. However, I don't remember the average minimum age of if you have a parent's signature. I think it's 16 in most states. You just need the consent of your guardian. Processing of the paperwork for the license and stuff takes a while, though. =\

[Dr.Pepper]

That's distusting. That guy is probably her dad's age. If I were her parents I would not sign those forms.

[Megaman X]

16 year old decides to marry a creepy old dude wow what next 5 year old decides to marry 80 year old?

[Zeonic Freak]

Id laugh at someone if they say "oh its not being pedo, its love".

Wait, WTF, its in my home state?...

[Antiyonder]

And I'm sure when all this blows up in the girl's face, she's going to blame the parents.

Well, they caved into her demand, so neither sides are blameless.

[tucsoncoyote]

Well I did dig up the age of Consent laws (http://www.actwin.com/eatonohio/gay/consent.htm) for North Carolina (where this story comes from), and the legal age of Consent for North Carolina is in fact 16. (Not 18 as some folks might believe, as each state has their own limits.)

Now if this had been a Female track coach and the girl wanted to do this, then it would indeed Consider illegal (It seems that North Carolina frowns agianst homosexual situations), but still This kind of creeps me out a little. I mean if this was a guy say 18, I would still say no. I mean this just is wrong sick I feel. But then it does show one thing. The parents caved in to the girl's demands.. sad case indeed..

Well, they caved into her demand, so neither sides are blameless.

Well I tend to agree but still when a parent caves into a teenager's demands, like this, and this kind of thing happens, it makes you wonder if maybe states should start handing out Parenting licenses, much like Drivers' licenses.

16 year old decides to marry a creepy old dude wow what next 5 year old decides to marry 80 year old?

Actually I know of a story that was circulated back in the 1980's out in Southern California (Blythe, California to be exact), about some creepy 80 year old guy actually having a 12 year old who came from Thailand, and not only that, but this guy was a Polygamist as well as he also had dated or lived with the 12 year old's sister, and in fact there was a major flap over that. I don't exactly know what happened to the guy but by now this old geezer is probably in the grave.

:coyote:

[Kury Wagner]

Well I did dig up the age of Consent laws (http://www.actwin.com/eatonohio/gay/consent.htm) for North Carolina (where this story comes from), and the legal age of Consent for North Carolina is in fact 16. (Not 18 as some folks might believe, as each state has their own limits.)Age of consent does not refer to marrying age, but rather an age for when sexual acts are legal. It even states that at the top of the website you linked. This article doesn't mention sex, as far as I saw. So sorry, but your point was pretty weak, since it was unrelated.

Now if this had been a Female track coach and the girl wanted to do this, then it would indeed Consider illegal (It seems that North Carolina frowns agianst homosexual situations), Over half the states either a.) haven't got a law in place against it, or b.) have it as North Carolina does.

Well I tend to agree but still when a parent caves into a teenager's demands, The article lists a lot of troubles that the parents went through in this situation. They finally made a decision that (seemingly) ended this troublesome situation. If they had continued to pull the girl away from the guy, do you honestly think that the teenage girl would've just sat back? No, she wouldn't attacked more and more until something big and even worse would've happened then just her getting married at a young age to someone older than her.

[DarthGonzo]

It's probably funny to watch them fight over the remote. He wants to watch HBO or ESPN while she argues that there's a new Hannah Montana she needs to see.

[Kury Wagner]

It's probably funny to watch them fight over the remote. He wants to watch HBO or ESPN while she argues that there's a new Hannah Montana she needs to see.Wow, thank you so much for underestimating 16-year-old young women as a whole. With as much as she fought for this man, hell if she isn't mature enough to handle a relationship like such in at least some aspects. She may not be practical, I will say that, but practicality doesn't always mesh well with love.

[BCVM22]

The girl's name is Windy? Huh. Do you suppose she blo--

Oh, fine, we won't go there. Are they gonna name their kid Gale?

[Kurokawa41]

Wow, thank you so much for underestimating 16-year-old young women as a whole. With as much as she fought for this man, hell if she isn't mature enough to handle a relationship like such in at least some aspects. She may not be practical, I will say that, but practicality doesn't always mesh well with love.

Why exactly are you defending this girl so furiously?

[Kury Wagner]

Why exactly are you defending this girl so furiously?Why do the reasons for my argument matter at all? I'll humour you though, I'm defending the woman because-

a.) This is a subject that I'm slightly familiar with, on various personal levels. I'd rather not get any further into that.

b.) I hate whenever any innocent person is being attacked pathetically, like by people on an animation message board who don't even know the person at hand. Can you imagine being her and being talked about like this? Or even being him! He's getting the brunt of this!! All because, what? They fell for each other. Wow, what a horrible crime they committed. That's just terrible.

c.) Everyone is looking at this like it is a crazy concept, when it's really not. Okay, the age gap is a little big. In my opinion, it is regardless, however. There are more important factors involved in this other than age and employment. If the girl was 20, just a mere four years older, I doubt the response would be nearly as strong against her. There is this stigma against any age gaps over, what, five years? Especially with people younger than, say, 26. In many ways, she is already an adult, and as I stated before, the very little bit I know of her clearly shows signs that she is not just an airheaded teeny-bopper.

So why am I defending her, summed up? Because I understand how it is from the other perspective, rather than what you guys keep seeing.

[Kurokawa41]

Why do the reasons for my argument matter at all? I'll humour you though, I'm defending the woman because-

a.) This is a subject that I'm slightly familiar with, on various personal levels. I'd rather not get any further into that.

b.) I hate whenever any innocent person is being attacked pathetically, like by people on an animation message board who don't even know the person at hand. Can you imagine being her and being talked about like this? Or even being him! He's getting the brunt of this!! All because, what? They fell for each other. Wow, what a horrible crime they committed. That's just terrible.

c.) Everyone is looking at this like it is a crazy concept, when it's really not. Okay, the age gap is a little big. In my opinion, it is regardless, however. There are more important factors involved in this other than age and employment. If the girl was 20, just a mere four years older, I doubt the response would be nearly as strong against her. There is this stigma against any age gaps over, what, five years? Especially with people younger than, say, 26. In many ways, she is already an adult, and as I stated before, the very little bit I know of her clearly shows signs that she is not just an airheaded teeny-bopper.

So why am I defending her, summed up? Because I understand how it is from the other perspective, rather than what you guys keep seeing.

I'd assume. This is really the only kind of thing that would cause someone to react so defensively. However, just because you might happen to be a smart individual, doesn't make her one.

You may have had your own personal experiences but that does not mean this young woman particularly knows what she's doing.

[Kury Wagner]

I'd assume. This is really the only kind of thing that would cause someone to react so defensively. However, just because you might happen to be a smart individual, doesn't make her one.

You may have had your own personal experiences but that does not mean this young woman particularly knows what she's doing.You're correct, I have no way of knowing if this young lady has a strong head on her shoulders. But with the way she fought for her relationship like such shows the sort of trait that, at least to me, suggests she has good character and a good sense of what is right for her and her life. The thing is, a situation like such isn't as cut and dry as it looks on paper. There are simply too many factors to consider, and to be honest, it isn't anyone's place to consider such factors except for Mr. and Mrs. Wuchae, now.

[Kurokawa41]

You're correct, I have no way of knowing if this young lady has a strong head on her shoulders. But with the way she fought for her relationship like such shows the sort of trait that, at least to me, suggests she has good character and a good sense of what is right for her and her life. The thing is, a situation like such isn't as cut and dry as it looks on paper. There are simply too many factors to consider, and to be honest, it isn't anyone's place to consider such factors except for Mr. and Mrs. Wuchae, now.

Determination is not the same thing as intelligence. To get by, you need both. She could be driving as fast as she can but straight into a brick wall.

[Rolling Cloud]

Come on, can't you guys cool it? XTAP and Kury, please settle this. :sad:

Anyways..I hope this works out because one things for sure, they sure as heck not gonna grow old together. :sweat:

(bad joke, I know)

[Kurokawa41]

Hm? "Cool it"? I'm quite calm. I'm just debating this with her.

Is there a problem?

[Master Moron]

c.) Everyone is looking at this like it is a crazy concept, when it's really not. Okay, the age gap is a little big. In my opinion, it is regardless, however. There are more important factors involved in this other than age and employment. If the girl was 20, just a mere four years older, I doubt the response would be nearly as strong against her. There is this stigma against any age gaps over, what, five years? Especially with people younger than, say, 26. In many ways, she is already an adult, and as I stated before, the very little bit I know of her clearly shows signs that she is not just an airheaded teeny-bopper.


It's not the age difference that concerns me. I would be just as concerned if it is two 16 year olds getting married. There's actually a show on MTV called Engaged and Underaged that documents underaged couples getting married and I think that's just as bad. Getting married at 16 is in general a foolish decision. What kind of a job do you think she's going to be able to get at 16? Kids who get married at 16 usually don't think about all the consequences of their decision. And yes, she's a kid, not an adult. Yeah, they're in love. So what? Will love be able to pay a down payment on a house?

You're correct, I have no way of knowing if this young lady has a strong head on her shoulders. But with the way she fought for her relationship like such shows the sort of trait that, at least to me, suggests she has good character and a good sense of what is right for her and her life.

That demonstrates how immature she is. She could have simply waited two years until she turned 18, but instead she threw a hissy fit and forced her parents to sign the consent forms.

[The Wolverine]

That demonstrates how immature she is. She could have simply waited two years until she turned 18, but instead she threw a hissy fit and forced her parents to sign the consent forms.

Exactly.

Though I do also lay blame on the parents for not taking control over the situation like they should have. But the majority of the blame goes on the girl for being a [insert word of choice here].

I mean, the guy could be a creepy pedo for all we know, and I sure as heck would not want a pedo around my kid if I were a parent. That's where the parents should have drawn the line. However they didn't, so they're guilty too, just a little less.

[cartoon_crazy130]

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=3305652&page=1

Girl's parents say they had no choice but to sign the consent forms, or else said girl wouldn't speak to them ever again.

Yeah right. If I was her parents, I'd refuse to sign the forms regardless.


i would refuse to! this is SAD.:mad: how dumb could you be?!:mad: :shrug:

[Romanesque]

Didn't think I'd get in on this one. Ah well. I'm definitely suspicious of the marriage in question, mostly because of the age of the groom. I've seen people throw fits over 17 year olds in highschool being involved with 19 year olds in college, with claims that the two can't possibly have anything in common, so I can only imagine (with some degree of humor) how this case must have some people steaming. Still, 40? Jeez.

Then again, I see Kury's point. Just because a lot of 16 year olds are immature, doesn't mean all them have to be treated that way. Several people in my family, in multiple generations, were married at 16 or 17 and turned out perfectly fine. A cousin of mine married at 17, and her 17 year old husband was headed for the military. He's old enough to decide to put his life on the line for his country, can't she be old enough to choose to marry? They're both just one year shy of 16, but I'm sure someone will think that's a huge difference, somehow. Neither my anecdotes nor anyone else's indicate that all 16 year olds are mature enough to marry, especially not one marrying a 40 year old, yet that's what the parents are there to give consent to. Maybe these parents were too weak and gave in too easily. Maybe not. Maybe it's none of our business.

(Side note! The way we've positioned teens in society is interesting. Collectively speaking, "teens will be teens, so just let them do as they will, but don't you dare let them take responsibility for themselves".)

It's not the age difference that concerns me. I would be just as concerned if it is two 16 year olds getting married . . . Getting married at 16 is in general a foolish decision. What kind of a job do you think she's going to be able to get at 16?Granted, if they're both 16, today's world does present a "few" problems for such newlyweds. Things aren't so bad if one of them is 17, close to turning 18, or even a little older.

I would generally agree, 16 is way too young for most people. Even 17 is pushing it, but I can accept that. Again, that's what the parents are supposed to be there to decide. Are the kids mature enough for this?

She could have simply waited two years until she turned 18, but instead she threw a hissy fit and forced her parents to sign the consent forms.I also know older couples who couldn't be bothered to wait that long. Hormones can override logic at any age.

I mean, the guy could be a creepy pedo for all we know, and I sure as heck would not want a pedo around my kid if I were a parent.I dunno, 16 is rather out of range for a pedophile, especially nowadays. Depending on the age of consent within their state, this could still be a way of dodging statutory rape laws. With a 40 year old involved, that possibility is creepy enough without bringing pedophilia into the picture.

--Romey

[Weatherman]

Isn't this why they came up with the idea of convents?:confused:

[The Guitar Slayer]

My concern is that this romantic relationship (and all that it entails) started to show when she was 14. I don't know if this girl has ever dated or not, but regardless, she's spent a good amount of her adolescence in love with or at least in a relationship with this guy. I don't know if this has allowed her enough time out in the world in order to make life-long decisions such as marriage. I highly doubt that it was absolutely a platonic thing until they got hitched or she hit 16; this 38-year old was making out and possibly having sex with a 14 or 15 year old. While the age of consent issue is moot now, I have a feeling the physical aspect of the relationship started before her most recent birthday.

Statutory rape? Probably. Marriage that will last a lifetime? Doubtful. Stupid parents? Hell yes. If you don't like something your kid is doing, step in. Don't cave because you have a high-school mentality yourself: "OMG, she won't talk to me, my life is, like, over." Be a parent and do something, be it lock it in her room or get her counseling. She was still under their roof and their protection until they signed those papers -- her parents blew it.

[tucsoncoyote]

My concern is that this romantic relationship (and all that it entails) started to show when she was 14. I don't know if this girl has ever dated or not, but regardless, she's spent a good amount of her adolescence in love with or at least in a relationship with this guy. I don't know if this has allowed her enough time out in the world in order to make life-long decisions such as marriage. I highly doubt that it was absolutely a platonic thing until they got hitched or she hit 16; this 38-year old was making out and possibly having sex with a 14 or 15 year old. While the age of consent issue is moot now, I have a feeling the physical aspect of the relationship started before her most recent birthday.

Statutory rape? Probably. Marriage that will last a lifetime? Doubtful. Stupid parents? Hell yes. If you don't like something your kid is doing, step in. Don't cave because you have a high-school mentality yourself: "OMG, she won't talk to me, my life is, like, over." Be a parent and do something, be it lock it in her room or get her counseling. She was still under their roof and their protection until they signed those papers -- her parents blew it.

Or...

We could always let the government step in and start handing out parenting licenses, like Driver's licenses.

After all why try to act like a parent and be responsible for your kids' actions, when you can have your problems solved by the goverment.

But as for this instance it still creeps me out.. After all Guitar Slayer, what you say is QFT, and frankly I'm wondering if the parents themselves ever did something like this.. (or maybe they should really seek the help of a good shrink. I really doubt Parenting licenses can help.)

:coyote:

[tb4000]

Granted, I'm sure this type of thing happened in the old days all the time, but nowadays we have extreme issues with it. When I turn 40 and I find a 20 year old chick and we have a relationship, yes it would be odd to some people, but so long as it's legal, I wouldn't bat an eye. You see extremely older people dating younger ones all the time for various reasons. I wouldn't go the 16 year old route, but hey.

[Romanesque]

My concern is that this romantic relationship (and all that it entails) started to show when she was 14.It would have had to have begun some ways back to reach this point, yes?

Also worrisome is that this isn't just any 40 year old, it's her coach. Even if she was older and the coach younger, that sort of status gap in the relationship doesn't sound appropriate.

--Romey

[Zeonic Freak]

Over half the states either a.) haven't got a law in place against it, or b.) have it as North Carolina does.



Amen to that.

Another thought accours, since his name is in the news, i wonder how many school districs would wanna hire him as thier PE coach married to a kid? If not, hes going to have to find other ways of employment, and trust me, teachers really dont get paid alot regardless, especially trying to support a family.

"So honey, how many hours can you work to support the electric bill"
"Not enough seeing how im still in school and under 18 which means I cant work over 40 hours a week"

Well, i wonder how many people are going to complain to our congressional representitives saying to make the age older...

[GWOtaku]

Guitar Slayer is dead right. I'm basically an adult looking back now, and for me it comes down to this. While maturity levels do differ I'm sorry, no 16 year old is mature enough to make decisions like this. No, I don't need to know her life story and understand all her thoughts to say this. I'm not dissing teens as idiots, but the following is fact: at that age people aren't even done developing physically, let alone mentally and emotionally. So yes, there is a different standard for people in their 20's. At that point people are fully developed and most of them are out on their own. That early in life, a few years does make a world of difference. That's not an ignorant judgment call, that's the truth. In some ways she's already an adult? The other side of that statement is that she's simply not finished growing up.

In addition all this started when she was 14, which makes it all the more problematic. The age gap issue is just a distraction from the fact that she's too young. While it was hard for them, the parents caved to get along when it was their job to bite the bullet and make her understand their concerns about the relationship and why she needed to wait.

[Draft]

Little unusual, but if that makes her happy...whatever..

[Czar Gato]

For me it's not so much the age gap or that fact that he was her coach that makes it so weird (my English teacher my freshman year of high school married one of his students, though they didn't start dating until after she graduated and the age gap is only about ten or fifteen years) as the percieved naivite and youth of the bride. I've known plenty of teenagers who thought they knew what they wanted at sixteen only to give it a few years and realize they were lacking life experience- I'll include myself in that category. It would not be surprising at all if five years down the line she wakes up one day and thinks, "What the hell was I thinking?" I just think that girl should have lived a little and tried dating other people- preferably closer to her own age- before making that decision.

[Romanesque]

I'm not dissing teens as idiots, but the following is fact: at that age people aren't even done developing physically, let alone mentally and emotionally.You're not "done" developing physically and emotionally until about 25, but car rental agencies (coincidentally) seem to be the only ones setting 25 as a minimum age. College campuses alone ought to provide enough anecdotal evidence that 18 to early 20-somethings are nowhere near as responsible or mature as older people. You can't even consume alcohol in the US until 21, but you're presumed old enough to handle marriage or the military at 18...

I'm probably failing to make any sort of rational point, here. :sweat:

--Romey

[Captain Highwind]

Or even being him! He's getting the brunt of this!! All because, what? They fell for each other. Wow, what a horrible crime they committed. That's just terrible.

The fact that he has a whole dating pool of mature, adult women his age to choose from and he decides that a sixteen-year-old girl is the one for him doesn't really make me feel that she is in the safest (sanest?) of hands...

[Mr. Pedro]

I'm probably less disturbed and more jaded at something like this (likely because of the nagging feeling that such a relationship has a very good chance of imploding on itself). Given the apparent spineless nature of those parents, I don't see too many quality traits carrying over to their daughter, suffice to say.

The fact that he has a whole dating pool of mature, adult women his age to choose from and he decides that a sixteen-year-old girl is the one for him doesn't really make me feel that she is in the safest (sanest?) of hands...

I'm borderline hermit myself, and I'm still inclined to agree here.

[The Guitar Slayer]

Or...

We could always let the government step in and start handing out parenting licenses, like Driver's licenses.

After all why try to act like a parent and be responsible for your kids' actions, when you can have your problems solved by the goverment.

But that basically blows any idea of "personal responsibility" out of the water. "I'm not responsible for myself or my kid -- the government does that for me. I have no free will unless the government says ok." That irks my freedom-loving self to no end, even if your comment is tongue-in-cheek. The government should provide services to help you, but it shouldn't replace the natural parent/child relationship. Also, by issuing parenting licenses, you are, by default, controlling who gets to breed -- and that's a whole 'nother can of worms that I don't want to touch, since it'll stray into eugenics.



You're not "done" developing physically and emotionally until about 25, but car rental agencies (coincidentally) seem to be the only ones setting 25 as a minimum age. College campuses alone ought to provide enough anecdotal evidence that 18 to early 20-somethings are nowhere near as responsible or mature as older people. You can't even consume alcohol in the US until 21, but you're presumed old enough to handle marriage or the military at 18...

After living in the US and the UK for my freshman year of college, I would say that the UK kids do generally have a wilder time in freshers due to being able to drink at 18, but they even out and get their heads straightened faster than Americans. I would credit that to the drinking culture, believe it or not; drinking is a family thing and a social thing. At a kid's restaurant, you have Mom and Dad having a beer while Junior plays in the ball pit. Nothing wrong with that in the UK. In the US, however, drinking is segregated -- no beer in kiddie restaurants. Only "real" restaurants have that. That gives drinking a quality of being elite or special.

College kids are moving out and wanting to be "grown-up" -- so some want to drink. Because of the magic number 21, American freshmen have to get booze on the sly and try to consume it as fast as possible so they aren't caught. This can lead to the binge drinking, and it persists until they are "legal", and the event is usually celebrated by, you guessed it, copious amounts of liquor. The United Kingdom does have drinking issues -- no argument. However, I've seen more extreme, insane instances of drinking in the US than I have in the UK, and I think it's because we've made 21 and drinking a major rite of passage rather than a "ok, go ahead, have a drink" -- it's not as big of a deal in Europe.

Europe doesn't seem to make as much of a big deal about these "milestones" as the US does. If someone gets ill on alcohol, they are taken care of, but there's definitely more emphasis on personal responsibility. You drink too much? Your responsibility is to behave or get medical attention or whatever else. It's not the host of the kegger or the guy who sold you beer at the liquor store. It's you. Your child is acting horribly? It's your responsibility to discipline him or her. You want to smoke? It's your responsibility to obey the laws in your region regarding smoking and ultimately have any sort of medical treatment should your habit cause complications. You decide to have sex? It's your responsibility to take whatever measures to prevent disease and conception, unless you're angling to get pregnant, in which case the resulting kid is, guess what, your responsibility too. It's all about you, baby.

I find that US culture puts the blame on everyone but the kid involved or their silly parents. Yes, there are many times when some larger body is at fault. However, Mom, Dad, and Junior aren't infallible. They mess up. They have to face the consequences. The UK is doing that at the moment with the McCann kidnapping case; it's Mommy and Daddy's fault the kid got snatched, but as long as they are as pretty as they are and as appealing as they are to the media, they won't get blamed or be prosecuted for child neglect.

That said, I'm actually more mad at the parents than I am at the coach. Yes, he's icky and creepy and probably was doing some morally messed up stuff. But the kicker here is that Mom and Dad let him get away with it when their own kid doesn't necessarily know better and in spite of the fact they did not like it at all.

[Antiyonder]

I find that US culture puts the blame on everyone but the kid involved or their silly parents.

No kidding. I mean a family could go into a restaraunt, with the kid poking his/her eye out with a fork. Who's fault is it? The parents? Heaven forbid.

[tucsoncoyote]

After reading a lot of posts here, and thinking about it long and hard, I start to see that maybe there is a good reason why the parents did what they did and did cave in to their daughter's demands and thus signed off on the paperwork.

Remember, this is "Twisted Logic" here, not "Straight Logic".

What if the parents had not signed off on the paper work, and the daughter had stopped talking to her parents.

Let's then say that this guy takes her on a trip and somehow some way, makes look like their daughter was killed in some sort of freak accident. Of course the guy would have some alibi to cover up the real story, and thus in the end suspicion was taken off this guy. Then it would be a case where he could easily skip town and thus disappear into the woodwork of the American culture.

By then doing what they did, they now have a way to keep tabs on the daughter, and if anything happens to her, well then we all know what might happen. they would be able to keep this guy under their thumb as the prime suspect.

(See the logic here)?

Also here's a little known fact. Even though the guy and the girl he married reside in North Carolina, if he takes her across any state where the age of Consent is different, then the guy could in theory be brought up on charges, applicable to the state they are in.. For example, Let's say they come to Arizona, and she's 16, and he's 40, it's still illegal in Arizona as the age of Consent is 18... so believe me if this guy tries to go somewhere else? He can't.. at least not until she turns 18.. then after that? Anything goes.

but believe me there's a logic and maybe in the end, the parents did the right thing.

:coyote:

[The Guitar Slayer]

The thing is, the parents could have pressed for a no contact order -- he wouldn't have been able to even text her without being arrested. If they were concerned and had been willing to let their kid hate them for a bit, the law would have been on their side. If she did end up dead on a trip in his company, he'd be arrested anyway by virtue of violating the no contact order. I see the twisted logic, but I can't give the parents that much credit for thinking it that far through.

[Robin2099]

The parents did seem to cave to much, and this whole thing isn't right. I also have a hard time believing that this girl really would of been in love with this guy. She may have liked something about him, but how does she know thats love? When I was 16 I didn't know what love is. Then their's the fact that this guy started trying to be with her when she was 14, something most reational people wouldn't do. This situation is just tragic on so many levels, and I bet their marriage won't make it past 5 years.

[FireStarterLE]

a threat of not talking to them? Wow wee, that's some threat right there :yawn:
proving she's a kid and will be taken advantage of in every way (and in most cases, rightfully so)

"Well make sure you keep that promise, because we're sure as heck not going out of our way to try and get you to talk to us ..... oh yeah and by the way, you still can't see him" :D

these type of parent's need to get hit over the head really hard

[BrendaBat]

Dear God, that man is creepy looking! He’s got the pedo-face and everything! >_<

From the article
"We've tried everybody. We've been to the law. We've been to the school board," Betty said. "Our family has come and tried to talk to her. We've had people on the phone with her for hours — family, friends. We've been to our pastor asking for guidance. We've been to his pastor."

If restraining orders and pastors don’t work and the school board doesn’t help you; pull the girl out of the school where Mr. Mid-life-crisis works and send her to a new one. And if that doesn’t keep them apart, send the little brat to boarding school!

From the article
Meanwhile, the Hagers say Windy withdrew, refusing to speak to them until she asked them to sign a consent form so that she and her coach — a man more than twice her age — could get married.

Although anguished, her weary parents gave in.

"Signing those consent forms was the hardest thing I did in my whole life, but we had to move on, it was going to kill us all," Dennis said.

“Yeah, we think her boyfriend is a sleazy pedophile and we KNOW this marriage will ultimately ruin her life but she, like, STOPPED TALKING TO US AND GOT ALL MOODY!!! What else could we do!? It was so hard on us!!"


I can’t believe those parents are so lazy that they’d sign a document that allows their daughter to throw her life away in order to avoid having to deal with their kid’s anger. :mad:



Of coarse the girl is going to be moody if you tell her what to do! She’s a freakin’ teenage girl! Being a moody brat is part of the job description. My fifteen-year-old sister behaved the same way when my parents refused to buy her a $200 digital camera for her birthday!

Originally posted by Kury Wagner
b.) I hate whenever any innocent person is being attacked pathetically, like by people on an animation message board who don't even know the person at hand. Can you imagine being her and being talked about like this? Or even being him! He's getting the brunt of this!! All because, what? They fell for each other. Wow, what a horrible crime they committed. That's just terrible.

Please. This isn’t Romeo and Juliet. The man’s “crime” wasn’t falling in love. He abused a position of authority in order to hook up with a fourteen-year-old student. And he didn’t end the relationship when it started tearing the girl’s family apart because he was too damn selfish (and eager to dodge statutory rape laws) to wait two years for her to be legal.



If he truly loved her he wouldn’t have pressured her into making such a huge decision (a decision that has torn her family apart and alienated her from her parents) at such a young age.

[Weatherman]

Please. This isn’t Romeo and Juliet. The man’s “crime” wasn’t falling in love. He abused a position of authority in order to hook up with a fourteen-year-old student. And he didn’t end the relationship when it started tearing the girl’s family apart because he was too damn selfish (and eager to dodge statutory rape laws) to wait two years for her to be legal.

If he truly loved her he wouldn’t have pressured her into making such a huge decision (a decision that has torn her family apart and alienated her from her parents) at such a young age.

I think th abuse of power is probably even more disturbing than the pedophelia inherent in this. This............ugh, I want to use some non-TZ friendly language here...........pansy used his position of power over an obviously emotional wreck of a 14 year old girls to get sex out of her and then turned her against her parents so he wouldn't get arrested. I hope he's blackballed against ever working in a school ever again in his life. This is beyond pathetically disgusting.

But, unless she gets even dumber and has a kind with this gene-pool polution they'll be divorced by the time she goes to college and that will be that. She's still an idiot though.

[tucsoncoyote]

The thing is, the parents could have pressed for a no contact order -- he wouldn't have been able to even text her without being arrested. If they were concerned and had been willing to let their kid hate them for a bit, the law would have been on their side. If she did end up dead on a trip in his company, he'd be arrested anyway by virtue of violating the no contact order. I see the twisted logic, but I can't give the parents that much credit for thinking it that far through.

and that just supports the issue of "Parenting Licenses" even more.

I mean it seems to me that the parents really aren't taking the "Real Responsibility here of their child" and that really in a way makes them parents who really shouldn't be parents. After all Most Parents who are responsible usually protect their kids, and keep them safe until they turn legal age (18) and then the it's the child's responsibilty here when they become an adult to control their own lives. But as for the parents in this case? They tended to be weak and they could have gone a number of optional ways here, but rather then taking more what I call "Proactive" measures they just said, "aw to heck with it, best cave in and let the spoiled little brat have her way."

Now that's it's a done deal, there's no turning back.

The parents did seem to cave to much, and this whole thing isn't right. I also have a hard time believing that this girl really would of been in love with this guy. She may have liked something about him, but how does she know thats love? When I was 16 I didn't know what love is. Then their's the fact that this guy started trying to be with her when she was 14, something most rational people wouldn't do. This situation is just tragic on so many levels, and I bet their marriage won't make it past 5 years.

I tend to agree and if they are able to make it past 5 years, well then this might be the most surprising thing ever. But like you said Robin, it's not even rational here. It's very tragic, and in fact, it really makes you wonder.. what did she ever see in this guy? I'm guessing it's more of a "Father Figure" type of issue (Maybe her own real biological father isn't doing anything right, and this supports Guitar Slayers comment about the parents taking responsibility, all the more realistic here. Parents who don't take responsibility for their kids, will end up having their kids in more trouble than you can shake a stick at. And in this girl's case, I wouldn't be surprised if she's pregnant by 18, Divorced by 20, and having to be a single mother while not being able to go to college by 22. Really sad case indeed.

a threat of not talking to them? Wow wee, that's some threat right there :yawn:
proving she's a kid and will be taken advantage of in every way (and in most cases, rightfully so)

"Well make sure you keep that promise, because we're sure as heck not going out of our way to try and get you to talk to us ..... oh yeah and by the way, you still can't see him" :D

these type of parent's need to get hit over the head really hard


Either that, or they need to be put on Dr. Phil.. and made an example of what happens when Parents cave into their kids who are "Out of control" might make for good watching on TV then, no?

I think th abuse of power is probably even more disturbing than the pedophelia inherent in this. This............ugh, I want to use some non-TZ friendly language here...........pansy used his position of power over an obviously emotional wreck of a 14 year old girls to get sex out of her and then turned her against her parents so he wouldn't get arrested. I hope he's blackballed against ever working in a school ever again in his life. This is beyond pathetically disgusting.

But, unless she gets even dumber and has a kind with this gene-pool polution they'll be divorced by the time she goes to college and that will be that. She's still an idiot though.

But then the real question is who's the real idiots here Weatherman, and in fact the issue really is the parents and their actions. or lack there of.

Most parents today don't even discipline their kids, they let them run rampant doing whatever they want, and a lot of parents don't even care that their kid can get into situations like this. After all there are a lot of sick people out in the world today. but the sicket ones are the parents for acting the way they did, and not disciplining that child of theirs. But then if they did, then the kid might have an excuse to say her parents "Abused" her and thus she would end up still in the arms of this "Loser". Frankly the parents I feel were forced into this situation by their daughter, and they really had very few recourses short of putting her in a boarding school or nunnery (if they exist anymore), or maybe even military school, But still this is what has happened thanks to the fact that a few nosy folks would cry "Child Abuse" if the parents did discipline her.

Frankly Like I stated earlier.. A serious talk with a professional Shrink is in order.. the entire family is totally dysfunctional, and in fact they're dangerously so. After all I wonder if she'll force the parents to "Bail her out" when she gets pregnant and she'll be forced to have an abortion or worse, that the parents (who'll be grandparents) will be forced to take care of their grandchild). Like I said, A major psychotherapy session is in order.. but you know who should pay the bill? The husband of this girl.. let's see if he would committ to that.. Probably not.

If restraining orders and pastors don’t work and the school board doesn’t help you; pull the girl out of the school where Mr. Mid-life-crisis works and send her to a new one. And if that doesn’t keep them apart, send the little brat to boarding school!

Would a Military School or maybe a Nunnery be a better choice? or maybe some deep, hard hitting psychotherapy? Frankly though I think when you look at this Brenda, what we got here is a totally dysfunctional family here, and believe me the numbers of dysfunctional families are growing steadily by the day. Kids are becoming more out of control here, Parents aren't taking responsibilty for their kids actions, and because of these two, events like these will become more and more often.. Also if you think that it's only the men causing the problem, well here's a real eye opener for folks out there. More and more women are now starting to become like this coach. they're become pedophiles too, and if you look here (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,147179,00.html), you'll see my proof. and a lot of that stems from the fact that they are looking for "Mr Right in all the wrong places", namely the schools. and their affairs are as sordid then most romance novels.

So it's not just a one sided problem , it's now a two sided problem that is affecting a lot of folks, and a lot of kids, and I know for a fact that our psychological community is already taxed to the limit, so this problem isn't going to go away anytime soon.

Please. This isn’t Romeo and Juliet. The man’s “crime” wasn’t falling in love. He abused a position of authority in order to hook up with a fourteen-year-old student. And he didn’t end the relationship when it started tearing the girl’s family apart because he was too damn selfish (and eager to dodge statutory rape laws) to wait two years for her to be legal.

and then you have to look at Debra LaFave, and all these female offenders who are teachers, who abused their positions as well, and they've done the same thing this guy did. and of course Like I said, this is starting to become more of a two sided problem. But I did find out from this MSNBC Article (http://insidedateline.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2007/02/20/45825.aspx)as to why there are not more female pedophiles out there. And there is a logical reason for this. More women are looking for a relationship rather then just lust. but still it does happen. It's just as of late that this has been brought to the forefront with Debra LaFave.

If he truly loved her he wouldn’t have pressured her into making such a huge decision (a decision that has torn her family apart and alienated her from her parents) at such a young age.

and you know what? Here's a guy who abused his authority (or Authorita as Cartman from South Park would say), and what he did was he took a badly dysfunctional family and with his abuse of power turned the family into a totally dysfunctional one.

Frankly when someone like this does this, they defintely should be blackballed from holding any position at a school or educational facility.. and he should be put on a sex offender list watch.. But then this is a double edged sword and cuts both ways.. and in fact yes, this girl is a brat.. she doesn't need to act this way.. and the parents failed to discipline her.. so in a way it's not only the coach's fault, it's not the girl's fault.. it's not the parent's fault.. it's everyone's fault in this case.. and in fact I still say a good hard tough love psychotherapy session or sessions are in order here.. just to make the girl realize what she's gotten herself into.. maybe then she'll relent.. but until then.. She's still way out of control, the parents who should be in control aren't, and the coach is just a sick person who needs a hard reality check of his own.

so in the end, everyone loses, no one wins. It's everyone's fault, including our own for not speaking up on issues like this.

:coyote:

[Brandon Pierce]

She's SIXTEEN?! Dang, I looked at the photo in the link and thought, "Wow. She looks about the same age as the 40 y.o. track coach!"

I really don't think their "age differences" are going to stand out that much.

[Romanesque]

She's SIXTEEN?! Dang, I looked at the photo in the link and thought, "Wow. She looks about the same age as the 40 y.o. track coach!"

I really don't think their "age differences" are going to stand out that much.Eh, I think I can see the age difference clearly enough. Not that I claim I could pinpoint their individual ages going in blind, mind yea. Then again, they do look oddly similar to each other, somehow.

--Romey

[Weatherman]

Eh, I think I can see the age difference clearly enough. Not that I claim I could pinpoint their individual ages going in blind, mind yea. Then again, they do look oddly similar to each other, somehow.

--Romey


Well, she's now Windy Wuchre.

Maybe things went off track (sorry for the bad pun), when they named her WINDY!

[Bubblegum Girl]

What makes me mad is that the 16 year old girl's parents just gave in. :mad: My parents would never let something like this happen to me.

[TyUnlimited]

This is crazy.I mean pure crazy.This is the world today.I can't beleeive the parents just let her do that.I would understand if she was like 18 or 19.Or heck,even if the guy was like 20!!But its oviouse this guy was a pervert/virgin.

[tb4000]

Now this relates to the thread about how parents are too controlling. If they're not, THIS is what happens.

[90'sCartoonMan]

I'm probably less disturbed and more jaded at something like this (likely because of the nagging feeling that such a relationship has a very good chance of imploding on itself).

I pretty much feel the same way. A marriage that's rushed just to make it more convenient for them to have a relationship doesn't have much of a chance of lasting, particularly because she's going to go through a lot of changes in the next 5-10 years.

[KPTitan]

Dude............that is completely, uterly, disaterdely, disgustingly, GROSS!!!!:ack: :ack: I swear, people these days are friggin perverts and idiots!!:mad:

[Megaman X]

Cant wait to see what the kids look like:shrug:

[Cartoon_Kid]

Dude............that is completely, uterly, disaterdely, disgustingly, GROSS!!!!:ack: :ack: I swear, people these days are friggin perverts and idiots!!:mad:
Umm..Dude it dosent have to be perverted to like a child it's called love it's not always about rape and molestation or just trying to have sex..some people like each other may it be kid and kid adult and adult or kid and adult but I do agree marrige is alot akward for a 16-year old and a 40-year old..

[SonGoku V3]

...
Wow....judgmental much? For goodness sake, instead of ranting about "parental licenses," whatever you think legal age should be, and playing psychic on their marriage, why not let them lie in their own grave - assuming that it is what they have dug in the first place? Yeah, a 40 year old marrying a 16 year old is rare in this day and age and taboo in American culture, but they were within their legal right and you don't know anything about the parents, the girl, or the man to be making such harsh and possibly false judgments. She's out of control and he should be put on a sex offenders list? For christ's sake, does the article state that she's this spoiled brat and that this coach has a history for targeting under-aged girls? Please get off the high horse here.

[BrendaBat]

Umm..Dude it dosent have to be perverted to like a child it's called love it's not always about rape and molestation or just trying to have sex..some people like each other may it be kid and kid adult and adult or kid and adult but I do agree marrige is alot akward for a 16-year old and a 40-year old..
umm...according to the law, when an adult and child "love" each other like that, it's rape. No matter how much the child might insist otherwise.

And lets be realistic here. Most of the time, when a 40 year old man starts a relationship with a 16 year old girl, its all about sex. Not love.


My biggest problem isn't the age difference so much as the abuse of authority by the coach. If I were the principal of that school, I'd seriously worry about how many other young girls that coach might have "dated" before he found one stupid enough to marry him. :sad:

[SonGoku V3]

^ No, when an adult and a child have SEX, it is considered rape, even if they both claimed it was consensual. As far as this article is speaking, we do not know if sex occurred between the two parties prior to the marriage.

Again, I ask, where does it say that this guy has a history of courting under-aged girls? If there are more girls he's either pressured into doing anything questionable or just "dated," then why haven't they come out prior to this Windy girl marrying the man? Where's the history of pedophilia that many people on this forum are accusing him of, or would it make you all feel that much more comfortable in knowing that an 18 year old got right out of high school and married her 42 year old former gym coach?

On a slightly different topic, THIS (http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2007/06/29/tutman.mi.man.impregnates.girl.wdiv) is what probably should be enraging you guys more...a 19 year old having sex with an 11 year old, getting her pregnant, and the parents of both being aware of the sexual relationship and not caring. The story of Windy marrying her gym coach, where WE DO NOT KNOW if they've been having a sexual relationship since she was 14, or if they've gotten married specifically to have sex, is not something I'd get enraged over unless I knew all of - or at least most of - the facts.

[The Guitar Slayer]

As far as this article is speaking, we do not know if sex occurred between the two parties prior to the marriage.

I'm willing to bet it did, or at least it was his goal.

The story of Windy marrying her gym coach, where WE DO NOT KNOW if they've been having a sexual relationship since she was 14, or if they've gotten married specifically to have sex, is not something I'd get enraged over unless I knew all of - or at least most of - the facts.

No. It started to show when she was 14. Obviously, there was a run-up to it being noticeable too. So let's say he knew her as a kid from about 12, groomed her through the age of 14, and then they "fell in love" at 14 or 15. That's still not right. He's been with as she's gone through her changes into an adult on a physical and an emotional level -- he's quite possibly manipulated her into what she is today. Grooming is a predatory behaviour. She is extremely young and probably hasn't seen much of the world yet, and he's been there the whole time as a "boyfriend" or a lover. It's one thing when it's two kids the same age, going through it together or one just a bit ahead of the other. It's another when he's old enough to be her father and is in a position of authority that is so easy to abuse. He's groomed her since she was at least 14, if not early -- he's manipulated her into his bed.

And once again, parental licenses are bad because they lead to eugenics -- who should breed and who shouldn't. If you have a "defective child", should you be stripped of all rights to have another? And what's "defective"? Mentally retarded? Socially quirky? Slutty? Too introverted? Should they just be sterilized to reduce the risk of "defective people" running around? Absolutely not acceptable, in my opinion.

[Dead_Ninja_111]

the very little bit I know of her clearly shows signs that she is not just an airheaded teeny-bopper.


LOL, oh and refusing not to talk with her parents doesn't make her an "air headed tenny-booper"? I beg to differ.

I can just predict something is going to go wrong for this new couple down the road. Whether it's for her or him, it's all a toss of the coin.

[BrendaBat]

Originally posted by Dead_Ninja_111
LOL, oh and refusing not to talk with her parents doesn't make her an "air headed tenny-booper"? I beg to differ.
Exactly. Like I said before, my 15-year-old sister behaved the exact same way when my parents refused to pay $200 for a digital camera. Somehow, my parents managed to survive a few weeks without her endless conversations about how unfair her math teacher is. :p And, if my sister ever came home with a 40-year-old boyfriend, my parents and I would leave pieces of him scattered all over So-Cal. :evil:

Originally posted by SonGoku V3
On a slightly different topic, THIS (http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2007/06/29/tutman.mi.man.impregnates.girl.wdiv) is what probably should be enraging you guys more...a 19 year old having sex with an 11 year old, getting her pregnant, and the parents of both being aware of the sexual relationship and not caring. The story of Windy marrying her gym coach, where WE DO NOT KNOW if they've been having a sexual relationship since she was 14, or if they've gotten married specifically to have sex, is not something I'd get enraged over unless I knew all of - or at least most of - the facts.
You're right. That story about the 11-year-old is a lot worse than this one. But that doesn't change the fact that the adult in this story is still wrong.

But lets say, for arguments sake, that the coach really loved the girl. Why then did he let her family get torn apart by that stupid release form? Wouldn't the selfless, loving thing to do be to wait until the girl graduated high school and turned 18 before getting married? That way, the girl wouldn't have to get mommy and daddy's permission and the coach would be able to keep his job and y'know, support her financially (his teaching degree is worthless now that his picture has been all over the news)!

[cross blues]

i don't see what the big deal is.

[Jacob T. Paschal]

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=3305652&page=1

Girl's parents say they had no choice but to sign the consent forms, or else said girl wouldn't speak to them ever again.

Yeah right. If I was her parents, I'd refuse to sign the forms regardless.

Honestly, something tells me these people don't have any morales. To actually cave into a sixteen year old. Dear God, what is this world coming to?

[Antiyonder]

And once again, parental licenses are bad because they lead to eugenics -- who should breed and who shouldn't. If you have a "defective child", should you be stripped of all rights to have another? And what's "defective"? Mentally retarded? Socially quirky? Slutty? Too introverted? Should they just be sterilized to reduce the risk of "defective people" running around? Absolutely not acceptable, in my opinion.

I can't speak for Tucson, but I don't believe the parential liscense thing would be determined by the condition of the kid, but whether the parents are abusive, neglectful or cave in (signing a paper because the daughter won't talk to them) to the kids demands. Basically if I guessed Tucson's idea right, it would reinforce the idea that parenthood is hard, meaning if kid acts up, then parents do not get to point the finger at whomever just to cover their backs. And of course in this case, parent would start having to introduce their kids to the word no.