Fast Food Humor: One of our local eateries burned down, And the Usual Suspects...

[tucsoncoyote]

Edited Note: This thread is all tongue in cheek humor, so if you don't have a Humorous bone in your body.. you really need to get one.

Related Link(s): http://www.kold.com/Global/story.asp?s=6243948
http://www.kgun.com/NewsArticle/tabid/1112/xmid/10473/Default.aspx


Well it seems that one of my favorite eateries that is close by has been burned to the ground ..

http://kold.images.worldnow.com/images/6243948_BG1.jpg

Yep, we lost a Carl's Jr./Green Burritto yesterday that's rather close by, and according to the fire marshall, it looks like the fire that started in the Kitchen (just as they were opening up for breakfast), and there seems to be no arson involved as it appears it could have been faulty equipment or maybe improper maintenance.. but when you have a story like this one thing comes to mind:

There's a conspiracy going on here for Burning down a Carl's Jr./Green Buritto.

And of course this is all in all humor even though 20 people lost their jobs when this place got destroyed, (But luckily they aren't out of work as we have 4 other Carl's Jr's In the city).

But still that old conspiracy theory leaps out here (Humorously), as to why this happened.


First off maybe one of those Hot Spicy Chicken sandwiches I enjoy a lot, got loose and set the building on fire, but I know Carl's Jr. They usually keep their hot spicy chickens under lock and key and don't let them out till you order one. So we can rule out flaming chickens.

So this brings up what I call,
'The Burger War Conspiracy Theory'.
So who else could have started the fire?

First off I could blame this guy below for starting the fire. After all he does have great onion Rings, but lousy Chicken Sandwiches that are a bit over priced:
http://www.thirdwayblog.com/images/400/burgerking.jpg

Or maybe it was this guy below that did the dirty deed. (Maybe he wants me to Eat at his fast food place, After all his Chicken Sandwiches are a bit more pricy than 99 cents, but then they aren't as spicy either, even though he does have a great double bacon Cheese burger. But it's not a spicy Chicken that I have come to enjoy and Love.:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/9/9e/Jack-In-The-Box-CEO.gif/180px-Jack-In-The-Bo

Or Maybe the Culprit was this dapper Fellow. You know he's been wanting my business for ages now, and he does have a good price and the sandwiches aren't as big, but they are just as spicy but still you would have to buy 3 of them to be like one of the Carl's Chicken Sandwiches.
http://adweek.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/ronald_1.jpg

Or perhaps it was this fellow who started the fire.. Sure he has great spicy chicken sandwiches, but at 4 bucks a shot, they're too expensive!:
http://travel.discovery.com/fansites/worldsbest/fastfood/gallery/fastfood1_spot.jpg

So Let's face it, each of 'the usual suspects' above had motive for eliminating the competition, each had a means, and above all, all of these "Usual Suspects" sell Spicy Chicken Sandwiches. just to see if they can convince me to buy from them.

So like I said,There's a conspiracy here somewhere... and I'm going to find out who did it. :p

Or maybe like I stated.. It was probably faulty appliances or maybe just bad luck.. but the good news is.. No one got hurt..

Ah well that doesn't mean I won't buy another Spicy Chicken Sandwich from a Carl's Jr./Green Burrito anymore either. I'll just have to go a little farther to get one. (After all, we got at least 4 more Carl's Jr/Green Buritto stores in town.. I can always go to one of them, right)?;)

Or Maybe I'll try Sonic.. I hear they have great Coney Foot long Hot Dogs..:D

:coyote:

[Matt Hazuda]

So when does the funny start?

[Neo Ultra Mike]

When you stick it in the buns because you spread your special sauce all over and now he's pulling out the Mike Bamburger...

Oh wait that's just somewhat of a joke I told in band camp. Eh I'd say it was the Burger King man behind Carl Jr's takeover. I mean the Jack In The Box man is still locked in the attic in American Dad (seriously have you SEEN this guy anywhere else latley), Ronald McDonald is too busy selling kids his rainbows and Cononel Sanders is dead. Yeah I know his zombie could do it but I think his Zombie's in Hawaii or something. It has to be Burger King guy. He's creepy enough and he would randomly ruin the compettion just to sell more TENDER CRISP BACON CHEDDAR RANCH! and stuff like that.:)

[veemonjosh]

Honestly Tuscon, the quality of the humor in your posts have really dropped lately.

I mean, the penguins were funny. This, however, just felt like a distraction.

[The Wolverine]

Honestly Tuscon, the quality of the humor in your posts have really dropped lately.

I mean, the penguins were funny. This, however, just felt like a distraction.

Seriously.

I'd respond with a cat macro, though I doubt it would be appreciated here.

[Chad Bonin]

I... what? Considering that Dave Thomas is dead and all... (and ignoring the obvious "suspect" of the Flamethrower burgers at DQ)

And... it's the "humerus".

[tucsoncoyote]

So when does the funny start?

Honestly Tuscon, the quality of the humor in your posts have really dropped lately.

I mean, the penguins were funny. This, however, just felt like a distraction.

Seriously.

I'd respond with a cat macro, though I doubt it would be appreciated here.

Well This Proves one thing. You folks who didn't think it was funny would think that a guy killing a dog and leaving it's head in a box for the owner to find would be funny (http://forums.toonzone.net/showthread.php?t=186198), yet an accidental fire at a restaurant with an inside joke where other fast food restaurant company mascots who would be wanting to take over the original company isn't.

This proves one thing.. Humanity has really lost it's humor, and in fact somoene once told me earlier this week that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it. And it's humanity which is so hypocritical of itself. Which is sad really. After all if someone slipped on a banana peel, you folks wouldn't think it would be funny. yet if the same person broke his neck on the same accident it would be..

Which spells out what humanity has become.. morbidly pathetic.

At least I can say one thing..The 20 people who lost their jobs working at this restaurant aren't out of a job at all. (The other 4 restaurants that are owned by this company hired them all to work at the other places. and luckily no one got hurt or killed. And in fact that's what this fire was.. an accident, not an arson for insurance scheme. But a lot of good folks who ate there are now going to have to drive a little further or go elsewhere to find something just as tasty.


The point of this humor was thus: One restaurant gets destroyed in a fire by accident , usually when this happens someone usually comments that another company or it's mascot has done the dirty deed. and usually people laugh at that..

The problem is.. no one really is laughing now so maybe this does support the theory that Humanity has lost it's way with it's humor..and that's sad really. In fact i'm not wishing bad luck on anyone.. and in the end, a little humor in the fast food business I guess isn't funny? I guess not.

so in closing i say this. Humor is dead.. I guess the next thing that will go is our sense of caring either.. oh wait that left a long time ago.

So if my humor has slipped as of late? So what? No one really cares what happens to folks..and this apparently prove that folks have no sense of humor.. not unless someone dies or gets hurt, which points back to my morbidly pathetic comment. but as for my humor? it's still there, and I know that they'll rebuild that particular store, and it probably will be better than it was before the incident. So in the end, I'll still eat there. and I will know that humanity has lost a little of itself in such a way..

I really feel sorry for you lack of humorists.. after all, I never met a man (or woman) I never liked. -- Will Rogers (Paraphrased).

:coyote:

[Shawn Hopkins]

Tuscon, there's really nothing funny about someone's business and livelihood burning to the ground. Almost all of these restaraunts are franchises, in case you didn't know.

[Matt Hazuda]

It's not that the subject couldn't be funny, it's just your delivery stunk...horribly.

Don't get on a freaking high horse cause you tell a bad joke no one likes, it's very unladylike.

[The Wolverine]

Don't get on a freaking high horse cause you tell a bad joke no one likes, it's very unladylike.

Tucson's a guy.

[Shawn Hopkins]

Tucson's a guy.

Yeah, I think he knows. It was a joke, an example of a "funny" one. Something Tucson's first post was very, very far away from.

[The Wolverine]

Ah.

Sarcasm's getting harder to detect.

[Chad Bonin]

Heh.

I hate dogs too.

[PeppeRaskell1]

Wouldn't Colonel Sanders be jealous enough of Carl Jr.'s Hot and spicy chickens to do something like that?

And I wouldn't rule out Taco Bell, either. They're not too popular right now, due to that salmonella scare and that rat video of the TB/KFC in NYC.