Internet Dating. Logical?

[Captain Zechs]

Note: This is not about me, this was inspired by a chat last night that I would like opinions on.

What are your thoughts on internet dating? Personally, I do not think it to be very logical in the least (or safe). Sure, you can think you *know* the person, but in reality, this is simply not true when you have never had face-to-face contact, well, atleast that is my own thought.

Yours?

[KuwabaraTheMan]

*sigh*

I thought you had gotten past this by the end of the chat last night, Zechs.

Look, if two people love each other, they love each other. You don't need face to face contact to confirm that. Sure, it helps, but love conquers all.

Even though a few months ago I might have thought the same things as you, you should understand other people's feelings and be happy for them, not try and break them apart.

[Frank Castle]

A friend of my family's found her husband through internet dating. So it obviously works since they are extremely happy with their marriage.

[XOMiss_Samantha]

Zechs, I really thought this ended last night in the chat.
Way to bring it to a public view....*eye roll*

If some ones in love, some ones in love. Wether on line or not. Love is love and it will always be.
get over it.

[Kury Wagner]

It's another form of meeting. Simple as that. Sure the risks are slightly higher for people who meet online, but online dating isn't new in the least and there are tonnnnnnnnns of people who have had successful relationships with people they met online. Personally, I think strictly internet-based relationships are a little silly. You need actual contact at some point, I think. But there's no problem with long-distance relationships. They happen all the time. If there's enough love, what do the other circumstances matter?

Plus, it has nothing to do with you, so get over it. Find a sense of romance. And try to understand what privacy is while you're at it.

[Eddie G.]

Kury's right. Meeting someone online isn't really much different from meeting someone at a bar. At the same time though, I think it's silly to fall in love with someone online who you've never met. You just haven't really explored a true relationship with that person.

[Ishtar]

You haven't given up about this still? I don't believe there's anything wrong with internet dating. If two people really feel that they are in love, they are in love. Love is the strongest power in the world, and it has no limits, even if it's online.

[HellCat]

I think there's way too much paranoia about people you meet online. It reminds me of my sister who when ever she's made at me describes my online activities as "talking to paedophiles you don't even know". I actually arranged to meet a girl from Texas face to face and everything went fine.

[Mr. Manager]

It's okay to try to find a person to date on a site, but I don't think it's okay to not have actually met the person yet consider them your boyfriend/girlfriend.

[KuwabaraTheMan]

It's okay to try to find a person to date on a site, but I don't think it's okay to not have actually met the person yet consider them your boyfriend/girlfriend.

And why not? If you know them well enough, and plan to meet one day, then what does it matter if you consider then your girlfriend?

What's important is the personal connection, not the physical one. Granted, without physical contact, a relationship can't progress beyond a certain point, but it is silly to say that it doesn't exist until that point.

[Zach Logan]

I think that meeting people online and even beginning the dating process online is fine. I'm going to be brutally honest here and say that falling in love online isn't really possible. You can really learn to like someone to the point where it makes your heart flutter and butterflies rise up in your stomach, but any further than that you need personal contact. Having been in love I'm only trying to put my personal experiences into this conversation. It is the smell of the person, the voice, the personal contact, the personality that you see online is often very different than what you may see in person. As long as you have some sort of contact offline, an online relationship is more than possible. However, it still will face many more hurdles than the normal relationship might face.

I do not think internet dating in this day in age is really dangerous, unless you're stupid about it...

[GWOtaku]

Wow, sensing some hostility in this thread. Never really been to this forum, but my two cents: my sister originally met her husband online and they eventually met each other, and they've been happily married now for over a year. So call it personal bias, but I don't think meeting someone online is stupid in and of itself.

I would think that anonymity is an issue and that obviously, one could end up meeting a psycho if they're not careful/not smart. But it can work. I would agree that personal contact is essential. My sister and her husband visited each other several times and nurtured a relationship over a decent length of time, which is how it should be done.

[KuwabaraTheMan]

Wow, sensing some hostility in this thread. Never really been to this forum, but my two cents: my sister originally met her husband online and they eventually met each other, and they've been happily married now for over a year. So call it personal bias, but I don't think meeting someone online is stupid in and of itself.

The hostility has to do with Zechs making this thread as a clear attack. People who don't know about the relationship wouldn't get that part and just see it as a random question.

Essentially, if you had a thread made saying a relationship of yours was horrible and 'not logical in the least', I bet you would be hostile.

[Chad Bonin]

I met my girlfriend online through Facebook. Therefore, we had mutual friends, but talked for a good two weeks online before meeting in person.

[Mynd Hed]

The problem with only knowing someone online is that all you know about them is what they choose to tell you. Now, I'm not saying that you're necessarily going to be intentionally deceived, but I think it's important to meet someone's family, friends, etc. in order to build up a complete picture of them as a person before you can really say that you "know" them, let alone "love."

[KuwabaraTheMan]

The problem with only knowing someone online is that all you know about them is what they choose to tell you. Now, I'm not saying that you're necessarily going to be intentionally deceived, but I think it's important to meet someone's family, friends, etc. in order to build up a complete picture of them as a person before you can really say that you "know" them, let alone "love."

Well, I dunno. I think generally you can feel someone's intentions and the truth of their words over any form of communication.

Certainly, the final steps of a relationship need physical contact, but I think you can fall in love over the internet, definitely.

[BrendaBat]

I never saw the logic of using the internet to cultivate friends. So the idea of using it to get dates just seems crazy to me.

But it obviously works for some people so, as long as they aren't stupid about it, I say more power to 'em. :)

[Dead_Ninja_000]

I find it to be a great way for predators to find their prey... but hey that's just me.

I personally don't like it...

[The Guitar Slayer]

I knew my first boyfriend through the net for years before we really started hanging out together in our chatrooms. Then we introduced webcams -- good indicator of body language -- and it wasn't as if we hadn't seen each other before. We exchanged pictures and all of that jazz when we were friends. So then we said we were exclusive.

So then we introduced the MSN talk feature..and then we talked via telephone...and then we met in real life...and then we had a relationship for a year and change.

So absolutely, yes, you can have a relationship via the net. And you can declare yourselves boyfriend/girlfriend -- that's commitment, meaning you're not going to go shag other people.

As to comments that "internet relationships and friends aren't real," pft. My most constant companions and consistent friends have been on the internet.

[Chris Wood]

The Guitar Slayer is a girl????!

[Zach Logan]

The Guitar Slayer is a girl????!

Welcome to Toon Zone! :p

[Shawn Hopkins]

Internet dating didn't work for me, but I've seen it work for other people. I know a guy who met his wife online and has a kid now because of it.

I think it could be safe if you did it in stages. Use a site first, then talk over the phone, then meet in a safe public place, and if you take it slow. And it would only work if people are honest with each other. If you're fat, e-mail an accurate pic of yourself.

[The Guitar Slayer]

The Guitar Slayer is a girl????!

Have been for the last 21 years, 4 months.

(tips hat)

[purplehairedwonder]

I don't see a problem with it. This day and age is definitely a very online-based one, so finding dates online doesn't seem like much of a stretch to me. My brother met his current girlfriend online and they visit every weekend. My family just met her this weekend and we liked her and they seem generally happy with each other. Sure there are going to be the cases of internet predators, but if you're careful enough about the whole thing, what's the big deal?

[Elven Moon]

I don't think I could ever do it, but if people want to, more power to them.

[Nightflower]

I think it's entirely possible, but I'm in the camp that I don't believe you can really have a real relationship or fall in "love" with someone online until you meet them. At the very least, many people are different online than they are in perso.

[Kury Wagner]

At the very least, many people are different online than they are in perso.Y'know, maybe it's the fact that I've spent over a decade online, but I'm completely me online. If anything, I actually come off as a little colder, only because emotion doesn't translate as well.

[KuwabaraTheMan]

Yeah, I think I tend to act pretty much the same over the internet as I do in real life. It's probably harder to take me seriously in real life, but aside from that I don't think there's a huge difference.

People on here probably wouldn't be at all surprised if they met me in real life.

[Zach Logan]

I think it's entirely possible, but I'm in the camp that I don't believe you can really have a real relationship or fall in "love" with someone online until you meet them. At the very least, many people are different online than they are in perso.

I agree. Even with knowing their personality, meeting someone you met online never prepares you for meeting that person in real life. I've done it many times before, and unless you're talking on the phone in addition to talking online, you're not going to be totally aware of what you're in for. In a relationship the first stages of a relationship can be done online such as "falling for" the person. However I think that really being in love is a very different feeling than that. Although the symptoms are similar (can't stand being without the person, heart racing when you're talking to him/her, thinking about the person constantly). However love is something that is not only more enduring, but several times more intense. It goes above and beyond the normal feelings during the early relationship stage, and those feelings only have an opportunity to flourish off-line. Why off-line? Once you fall in love you'll see that you can't go on just one aspect of their personality (their online personality) and still fall in love. Love is a deep emotion that goes far beyond that of the feelings I just described, and it really can't be felt for someone you've never had physical contact with. Even love-at-first-sight has the prerequisite of sight. Sorry if that seems a little upfront, but when people meet all of the above has the potential to happen, its just an exclusive online relationship that I feel has an ending point. Think of yourself in an online relationship as a Shinigami. You can get strong, but there's a roof. If you get the powers of a hollow (meet) you can find your true powers.

[Master Moron]

Note: This is not about me, this was inspired by a chat last night that I would like opinions on.

What are your thoughts on internet dating? Personally, I do not think it to be very logical in the least (or safe). Sure, you can think you *know* the person, but in reality, this is simply not true when you have never had face-to-face contact, well, atleast that is my own thought.

Yours?

What would worry me about internet dating is finding out that your internet girlfriend is really a bot.

[chibilain]

Not to brag, but I find myself, at this point, to be an expert regarding this topic. I've been socializing with strangers on the internet from age 11 to age 20, in addition to plenty of real people with a variety of personalities and etc etc. Some made fun of me for having online friends or online boyfriends, some just shrugged it off as being 'a Tori thing'. I've gone looking for online relationships, I've tried to avoid them like the plague and found them anyway, plus of course, boyfriends outside of the internet as well.
In short; i'm fairly well rounded on this matter.

Like others have said, it's just another way of meeting people. Yes it is possible you are 'dating' a 40 year old fat man, but if you have even an ounce of common sense, and aren't 11, you can usually tell the difference. Consider also, that you yourself, however old you are or whatever personality you have, you are on the internet chatting with people. Is it really that hard to believe that there are at least a handful of other people similar to you online?

In the last nearly 9 years, I've met a total of 7 different people in real life that I initially met online, and they have all been exactly who they said they were. Just teenagers like me. A few have even exceeded my expectations of them in 'real life' (ie; oh my goodness why the hell are you online you actually have one of those fancy LIFE things I hear so much about!)

On the topic of internet dating, I think it depends on a few different factors. When I was in middle school, I was content just to have phone chats and get excited when his screen name would sign on. As I got older, and started dating guys in real life, I felt I could never go back to an internet, or long distance, relationship again. Then it happened. Imagine the sitcom scene where one character vows they will never do something ever again, no way no how. Flash forward, and they are doing that exact thing. Well sure enough, had a crush on an internet friend, met him in real life and the sparks flew, and we've basically been living together for a few months and dating for nearly a year, despite our mutual distaste for long distance relationships and initial reluctance to get seriously involved with one another.

Basically, it depends on what the people want from a relationship. If you're happy just talking to one another and maybe visiting a few times a year, go for it. Some people, believe it or not, prefer that. Otherwise, it can work if you live a reasonable distance from one another. My boyfriend and I started out 3 hours apart, which is kind of a pain in the ass, but certainly not impossible to work with, and we saw eachother every other weekend when we were that far apart.

To all of you thinking about this, use your head, THEN your heart.



p.s. we actually met here in the beginning, about 5 years ago.
p.p.s. he's StrawberryJam/RD lolololololol

[I.R Joey]

Truth be told I was really cynical about it for the longest time. I argued with a friend of mine who was trying it, and I tried to convince her that you couldn't fall in love with someone online. She ended up dating the same guy for about three and a half years. Another person I knew met a guy online and she's been dating him for several years as well. At the start of the year I decided to put my cynicism aside and give it a try. For the most part the dates I've had have been positive experiences.

[Rolling Cloud]

I know some people who met this way and it worked out great for them

That's proof for me

[Desensitized]

I've met some interesting people online from all over the world.

But dating? Haven't ever considered it. But I'm sure it could work to an extent.

[tb4000]

Depends on if both people are honest. The only thing you get via online datnig is actual conversations and learning more about each other minus the physical stuff.

[Kagetsu]

My cousins wife takes trips to shows and things all the time with friends from the net.I think it's a great idea. Find people with the same interest, meet in a public place, use false name in case they smell bad and you never want to be around them again.

I think distance is a problem. So many people in my life say they will do something and then not, that I wouldn't want to invest a long drive just to stand around alone. :p

It would be really hard to find friends like trust penpals, but I've always wanted to meet people online, spend the day seeing the things they like in their city, sleep over, then go home.

[tb4000]

My cousins wife takes trips to shows and things all the time with friends from the net.I think it's a great idea. Find people with the same interest, meet in a public place, use false name in case they smell bad and you never want to be around them again.

I think distance is a problem. So many people in my life say they will do something and then not, that I wouldn't want to invest a long drive just to stand around alone. :p

It would be really hard to find friends like trust penpals, but I've always wanted to meet people online, spend the day seeing the things they like in their city, sleep over, then go home.
That's what they all want. :eek:

[Kagetsu]

That's what they all want. :eek:
:anime: Not quite what I meant, because then I wouldn't go home

[Vermunium]

I neither condone or condemn the idea of internet dating.

[Kury Wagner]

I neither condone or condemn the idea of internet dating.You only leave the option open 'cause you want me, right, Vermy?

[Dead_Ninja_111]

internet dating has just made people much more lazy if you ask me...:sweat:

[Mek]

Online dating is a crock. Pure and simple.

[DBZNarutoWarrior]

I find it acceptable, I mean if they love eachother, then I guess..... they love eachother. It wouldn't be their fault if they never met up in life, because they can meet on the internet, and see what the person is really about, without any first date jitters and/or secrets. It does make people lazy though, it's kind of a shortcut LOL. I don't think I'd ever do it.

[KuwabaraTheMan]

Online dating is a crock. Pure and simple.

Hardly. Certainly a relationship of that magnitude can't exist purely over the internet, but there's absolutely nothing wrong with forming it over the internet at first.

It's rather silly to be so open and shut about it.

[True Noir]

Well, personally, I don't like it, but it works for some people. I think that it kind of takes away the point of being outgoing and social to meet people outside your comfort zone. Also, I think that maybe the person you know and picture online might be different in reality.

But honestly, I'm too liberal to condemn it.

[Dorthy4u]

Well internet dating is cool thing according to me ,u get to know about people who could not have possibly come across u:) Online Speed Dating Agency UK, Internet Dating Services for Singles UK (http://www.silvergallerydating.com)

[tb4000]

Internet chatting and meeting is basically a way to find like minded people that have interests you do, but unfortunately anyone can make up stuff online unless you can actually meet them in person.

[Mek]

Hardly. Certainly a relationship of that magnitude can't exist purely over the internet, but there's absolutely nothing wrong with forming it over the internet at first.

It's rather silly to be so open and shut about it.

No, it's not.

I've had bad experiences with online "dating" enough to actually be able to have an opinion about it. If it works for some people, hooray for them and I wish them the best in life.

But I find it to be one of the most asinine concepts ever. I want that someone to be there, IN PERSON. Maybe I'm selfish, but I feel alot better knowing that I can easily call my future s/o up and have him come over for some drinks, rather than waste hours on an IM client typing in ooey gooey jibberish and '*hugs* and *kisses*'.

Plus saying 'I love you' face to face has more meaning than typing it. How can you sense the sincerity in text?

I rest my case.

[KuwabaraTheMan]

No, it's not.

I've had bad experiences with online "dating" enough to actually be able to have an opinion about it. If it works for some people, hooray for them and I wish them the best in life.

Alright then. If you can accept it works for some people, then fine.

I'm not even advocating using online dating services and the like. I think that's kind of silly. But it's entirely possible to fall for someone over the internet.

Maybe you've had bad experiences with it. I've had bad experiences at dances, but that doesn't make them 'crock'.

But I find it to be one of the most asinine concepts ever. I want that someone to be there, IN PERSON. Maybe I'm selfish, but I feel alot better knowing that I can easily call my future s/o up and have him come over for some drinks, rather than waste hours on an IM client typing in ooey gooey jibberish and '*hugs* and *kisses*'.

Plus saying 'I love you' face to face has more meaning than typing it. How can you sense the sincerity in text?

I rest my case.

Yes, but it's not like we're talking about having a relationship strictly over the internet. If you fall for someone online, eventually you talk on the phone, and then meet face to face if everything goes well.

Having a relationship strictly over the internet would be silly.

[Kury Wagner]

You speak as if he meant strictly online-based relationships. Of course those are asinine. They have very little footing, and very little point. I agree with you extremely that it's an inane concept. I can't argue any of the points you made, because they're all toward online-based relationships, not long-distance, so all my counterpoints would be void.

Though, to answer your question about sincerity in text- when the sincerity is there, it's obvious. To say that you can't convey any emotion through text would be ruling out thousands of years of the tradition of written messages, like love letters and valentines, poetry, and any other form of literature. Love aside, have you never read a book and felt emotion from what happened within it? Emotion is not limited to face-to-face communication. It helps a whole hell of a lot, but it is in no way limited to that.

[Neo Ultra Mike]

Eh, I don't really believe so much in online dating. Yeah you can defintley meet good friends over the internet that you're glad are a part of your life, but relationship is a whole different thing. Espically if you try and go meet these people. Because after all (espically if it's just text) you can pretty much lie about yourself to anyone on the internet easily and never have to deal with the consequences. And it's hard to find someone whose completley 100% honest about themselves on the web, espically on the "let's meet up in real life" level. Then again this is just based on how I've seen it fail time and again for friends and family of mine who have tried internet relationship and failed because the person they thought they were so in love with turned out to be some kind of loser who hurt and screwed over they're live more then need be. Perhaps not everyone's like that but I wouldn't chance it espically since there's a higher chance of you finding true love with someone you know personally then someone you know just cyberally.

[.bg]

Online dating is quite pointless, and should be used only as a last resort. You can find many good companions (and dates, I might add) at bars, clubs and discos.

[tb4000]

Online dating is quite pointless, and should be used only as a last resort. You can find many good companions (and dates, I might add) at bars, clubs and discos.
If you're looking for a quick screw, the above work fine. A meanginful relationship...anyplace else.

[.bg]

If you're looking for a quick screw, the above work fine. A meanginful relationship...anyplace else.
Not where I live...

[HellCat]

Some people for various reasons just aren't good at building up relationships without the comfort zone of a computer. It doesn't mean they should be looked down upon. Even then, the internet has become such a social norm that the idea it's just nerds who care more about levelling up their fire elf mage using it for love is out of date.