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Anima
01-14-2007, 03:38 PM
Hey peeps. I have absolutely no idea how this came to be. Basically I was stuck in North Carolina without my flash drive and decided to write a oneshot to pass the time. It has absolutely nothing to do with anything and is purely a oneshot. No chance of continuation.

But, I've been trying to work on my descripions without making it seem too wordy.

So, enjoy and PLEASE leave a review!

:)

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Exhaustion. Crippling, pure, undiluted.

Exhaustion.

She felt nothing else as she hovered above the large cluster of lights, glowing brightly. The city was very large, but not one of the largest in the area. Each of the lights, she knew, represented a household. There were very many. They would not notice one more. It would be impossible for them to notice one more. She could be swallowed by the masses. Safety burned below her fierce and dazzling.

But she could only feel the exhaustion.

Her once vibrant, ruby hair swayed around her gently. It was now dull and tangled, her masters taking little interest in the keeping of the auburn tresses. Her clothes offered no protection against the biting chill of this planet’s upper atmosphere. They barely served to keep nudity at bay. Embarrassment at the thought of descending onto the surface of a strange planet with little more than a few strips of cloth would easily be enough to keep any other afloat, stalling and waiting.

But the exhaustion was tugging her downward, faster and faster by the moment.

Tawny eyelids, paled from malnutrition and despair, drooped heavily, slowly concealing the listless emerald pools that stared blankly at all that froze and burned, lived and died. There was nothing for her there. Nothing that she could ever want, had ever wanted, could possibly lie on the surface of that little blue planet. The love of her mother, the safety of all she held dear, it just could not be housed in the large city below her, the city that would never notice one more.

But exhaustion sang a sweet lullaby to her, whispering in the rush of wind as she plummeted to the ground, ‘Sleep here, now. Close your eyes and let go of it all. And when you awaken, it will all be different.’

“Different isn’t better, though,” she mumbled, answering the voice in her mind. The sound of her own words did not reach her, however, as it was snatched away as it left her lips. “No matter how different, it may never be better.”

The wind seemed to laugh at her as she felt first the sting of tree branches, swiping and cutting at any exposed skin and even ripping her already flimsy clothing, and then the sickening vibration of her impact against the forest floor. She could feel the large crater her body created, her body buckling the ground, but the ground retaliating with unyielding solidity. Several cracks echoed in her ears as what felt like her entire body began to throb agonizingly. The wind laughed again.

‘May be is not will be, though,’ it taunted, teasing her flirtatiously, unaware of the miserable tear that crawled down her cheek. ‘Never resign yourself to misery, unless you feel it is all that you are worthy of.’

She coughed violently, and when she touched the drip on her chin and inspected it, she found it to be crimson. A whimper danced from her lips, supported by the gentle wind.

‘What are you worthy of, Koriand’r? Are you really worthy of the life that bleeds from you?’

Koriand’r coughed again, this time with a sob of emotion, emotion that ran together so that even she was not sure of what she cried for.

“I do not know,” she sighed, realizing that short breaths would save her. “I do not know my worth.” Powerful beams of light were dancing around her now, darting here and there, never resting or settling on a single thing for very long. A gust of wind nudged her cheek, and one of her tears flew into the air.

‘Only you may save yourself. Only your voice will lead help to you. Determine your own worth.’

A tremor that did little more than to show her more of her injuries trickled down her spine. She whimpered again and bit her lip. The lights were circling her crater now and voices were exclaiming something in a language she did not understand. Swallowing, Koriand’r reached upwards, toward the voices, praying with all of her might that her captors would be ones with mercy in their hearts.

“Help me,” she called loudly, her voice cracking pitifully. She felt the power rushing through her at the request, owning her own destiny, wanting something so intensely. And yet, she was still not the one in control. She was still the one left helpless. She pushed this thought away, however and licked her lips in order to call again, no matter the fact that there seemed to be someone approaching her slowly.

But exhaustion was her only answer and companion and it, once again, tugged at her eyelids until they sealed together in deep slumber.

-----

...yeah, this is what you get from North Carolina boredom...

SecretNinja
01-14-2007, 10:55 PM
Holy. YOUR A GOOD....one. That was good. I especially like "Never resign yourself to misery, unless you feel it is all that you are worthy of." I like that line LOTS.

This is fantastical. Especially for a one shot thing. :)

Matt A
01-15-2007, 02:32 PM
I have to second Ninja. That was a cool little offering: weird, but nonetheless cool. An interesting way of re-envisioning Starfire's arrival on Earth, with her just being a drifter in need of a bed, rather than a refugee in need of a home. And I have to agree that her Inner Voice was very cool, offering up the kind of truisms we all need to hear from time to time. I like the "determine your own worth" line myself, but they're all very quotable. I also liked the stuff about the lights at the end: I've always been a sucker for defamiliarisation, I suppose.:D

So, an odd little piece, one that I'm not quite certain what it's supposed to mean, but still, a very well written and enjoyable thing. Good work.:D

-Matt A-

JazzyChick
01-16-2007, 07:13 PM
I liked the stoyr a lot, and I am definately third-ing what has been said. So please, keep that in mind when I make a few suggestions (feel free to ignore them if you don't like them. they are only suggestoins)

"She felt nothing else as she hovered above the large cluster of lights, glowing brightly. The city was very large, but not one of the largest in the area. Each of the lights, she knew, represented a household. There were very many. They would not notice one more. It would be impossible for them to notice one more. She could be swallowed by the masses. Safety burned below her fierce and dazzling."

Okay, in the first sentence, I think "glowing brightly" is referring to "she"...I'm not sure on that gramatical rule, but you might want to reword it. In the next sentence, I would try and not use the word "large" twice in the same sentence. I always try and not use the same word to describe the same thing in the same paragraph (and i just used 'same' 3 time...:ack: )

To be honest, after that everything gets better. I do the same thing, except that it takes me about 2 pages to 'work up' to what I'm writing. Your descriptions are great, you left nothing to be confused about and at the same time allowed for the reader's imagination to work with the images. Great job!

Hey, and i know how you feel about being stuck somewhere. I've been locked in my house for the last 5 days because of an ice storm. It sucks.

-JazzyC

DeathscytheVII
01-16-2007, 07:54 PM
A very poetic and well written story Anima. Very cool hintings of Starfire's past mixed in with the 'change' she'll have in her life when she goes to Earth. As matt said, lot's of quotable lines in this one, but the misery one tops it!

Nice one!

SecretNinja
01-16-2007, 09:35 PM
"Glowing brightly" is refering to the "large cluster of lights."

TeenTitansGO!
01-17-2007, 01:00 PM
Ok, i enjoyed it. It reminds me of some of my early chapters of my first full fic. Descriptive is the best way i can explain this. You're awesome with descriptions. Just try not to say the same thing in different ways (just so you know, i do the same thing, but it doesn't mean it's cool).

Definitely a random one-shot. I don't think there's anyone around here that would have thought to go back to the beginning of the Teen Titans for a good story. I also don't think that anyone would have thought to make Starfire's entrance a negative one, considering her positive nature.

TTG~Matt H.

Anima
01-22-2007, 07:19 PM
Wow. Thanks everyone.

Jazzy Chick: Oh, yeah, "glowing brightly" was supposed to describe "large cluster of lights"

TeenTitansGO!: In that same paragraph JazzyChick was talking about I noticed the thing about repeating things in different ways. I'll make sure to work on that.

Matt A., SecretNinja, and DeathscytheVII: Thanks for the encouragement! I'll remember it all while I'm trying to force out the next chapter of Jeweled Eyes.