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Charlie_Moe
09-20-2006, 02:24 PM
This is my first fic that I am attempting to finish.

Sory if I go too fast.

Here goes nothing!


Prologue

Beep.
Beep.
Beep.

As he lay on the white bead with the white sheets is chest rose slowly as he drew his breathes. The heart monitor was going at a slow steady pace. For any human the slow pace would not be enough to allow the blood to pulse through the body fast enough to reach all its parts, but then again, He was no ordinary human. Ever since we were forced to come to this ridicules school He has been having issues. Once we finally coaxed the truth out of him we were astonished to find that he had usually been able to control his self but the school had coaxed it out of him.

The other side, the side that he had shoved away for so long. We could all tell that it was starting to get to him. Just the way he acted.

All four of us never asked him what was wrong. The last time Beast Boy got close to any hint of important information Robin stopped talking for a week. Even I, the self-conscious Raven couldn’t stand not talking. I had my words to chant.

All of the events that had happened in the previous month had lead to this, him…lying unconscious. His heart had already halted twice, but Cyborge wasn’t ready to let go and revived him. None of us were ready to let go.

Charlie_Moe
09-20-2006, 04:16 PM
How did I do?

Any thing I could do better?

SecretNinja
09-20-2006, 08:04 PM
Spelling. Its good...but you should spell check...Do it on word or something..its easier. :)

-S-N-

The Guitar Slayer
09-21-2006, 05:08 PM
Definitely spell check. Also, what you posted is a paragraph, not a chapter. Try to have more gathered together when you post, and make sure to spell check it; both Word and Internet Explorer have it.

SilverKnight
09-22-2006, 12:56 PM
Ow.

Agreed, and I might suggest making the text a larger font. That's way too small for me to read without getting a headache.

Charlie_Moe
09-26-2006, 12:08 PM
gumble.

Yea Spelling is not my strongest part. I was in a real rush to post it so I just speed through the process.

That was the first to one of my stories. I am stuck right now because there is so much school to do!

I have so many ideas! I have the stories in my head. I just have to spill them out through my fingers.

Charlie_Moe

The Guitar Slayer
10-01-2006, 10:00 AM
Posting here is not a race, so take your time. Also, this isn't really a story, more like the opening paragraph of a story or chapter. Keep working on it though.