Any ideas on what to do on a 2nd date?

[wonderfly]

I just need some advice, (from anyone who cares to give it):

Yesterday, I went out on a 1st date with this girl I recently met. I met her through my job, and was basically hitting it off with her in conversation, and so I asked her out on a whim and gave her my phone number. I didn't ever get a phone call fro her though, so I figured she had better things to do then to go out on a date with me...except the next time I ran into her, (a month later) she told me she had lost my phone number, and she then turned around and gave me her phone number, and asked me to call her...and I did, and we basically scheduled a 1st date.

The date went okay-could've been better, could've been worse. I took her out to dinner, and then we went shopping around town...mostly because we didn't know what all activities there were to do in the town, (we live a little over an hour away from each other, and so we met halfway)...and I just feel that taking her "shopping" wasn't exactly the best way to sweep her off her feet.

Also, just curious from the ladies here: Is it normal not to give a parting kiss at the end of the 1st date? I'm used to getting a kiss from the person I'm dating, but maybe I'm not used to normal dating, (I have a tendency to meet people on online dating websites, and that's how I've done most of my dating the last couple of years)...but uh, anyway, ladies, is it standard to give the man taking you out on a date a kiss at the end of the 1st date, or is that too soon? If you don't kiss him, does that mean you're not really interested in him? (See where I'm going with this? I'm trying to figure out if she's really interested in me or not).

Yeah, I feel like a teenager all over again, having to ask questions like this, but I figure it doesn't hurt to get advice from neutral people...

Anyway, sorry to put it so bluntly, but this girl is HOT...and that's probably why I'm getting a little nervous. I really want to impress this girl. So what activities do you think would be creative thing to do on a 2nd date?

[SilentBat18]

cute....

well, have you seen the movie Hitch? alot of stuff there are actually true :p like if we're not in ahurry to get into our apartment, a goodnight kiss would be nice. personally i would kiss a guy if he's hot and i had a good time with him :D, but generally i guess it depends on the women's morals. some dont kiss on the first date others do. if you want to tell if she's interested in you, study her body language... not body, body LANGUAGE! :p. if she smiles alot, pushes her hair away from her face, sits close, that kind of stuff then she's def interested.

hmm second date... how bouts trying home cooking? or maybe a carnival... something fun and lively. see what she likes. if shes quiet and stuff home cooking, or a walk on the beach some sort of stuff like that. if shes wild, dancing would be a good idea, or a festival, or maybe a musical... musicals are fun.

i hope that was helpful, goodluck :D

[Romanesque]

Skydiving, bungee jumping, or BASE jumping... if you're brave enough and can afford the expense. Otherwise, maybe some carnival rides or a scary movie. Go for maximum fear and / or adrenaline. Probably best on the first date, but it's probably not too late.

--Romey

[wonderfly]

cute....

well, have you seen the movie Hitch? alot of stuff there are actually true :p like if we're not in ahurry to get into our apartment, a goodnight kiss would be nice. personally i would kiss a guy if he's hot and i had a good time with him :D, but generally i guess it depends on the women's morals. some dont kiss on the first date others do. if you want to tell if she's interested in you, study her body language... not body, body LANGUAGE! :p. if she smiles alot, pushes her hair away from her face, sits close, that kind of stuff then she's def interested.


Well, she smiled alot, (but maybe she has a good poker face?) I didn't notice her messing with her hair, but that could be me not noticing...we walked around a lot, so we didn't get a chance to sit close really...but I'll try and keep my eye on her body-er, body language the next time I see her.


hmm second date... how bouts trying home cooking? or maybe a carnival... something fun and lively. see what she likes. if shes quiet and stuff home cooking, or a walk on the beach some sort of stuff like that. if shes wild, dancing would be a good idea, or a festival, or maybe a musical... musicals are fun.

Carnival would be nice, but have to wait for it to come to town...home cooking's probably not going to happen yet, as I offered to pick her up from her home on the 1st date, and she said, "No offence, but I don't know you well enough yet to let you know where I live just yet." So that's why we met at a restaurant...


Skydiving, bungee jumping, or BASE jumping... if you're brave enough and can afford the expense. Otherwise, maybe some carnival rides or a scary movie. Go for maximum fear and / or adrenaline. Probably best on the first date, but it's probably not too late.


But...here's the thing: I'm a boring person. ;) You couldn't pay me enough to do any skydiving!!!

And as for movies, I thought that women didn't like to go to movies on the 1st couple of dates? Because if you're at a movie, you can't talk and get to know one another, (at least, that's what I've been told by the last few women I've dated...).

[Master Moron]

Yesterday, I went out on a 1st date with this girl I recently met. I met her through my job, and was basically hitting it off with her in conversation, and so I asked her out on a whim and gave her my phone number.

Wrong.

I didn't ever get a phone call fro her though, so I figured she had better things to do then to go out on a date with me...except the next time I ran into her, (a month later) she told me she had lost my phone number, and she then turned around and gave me her phone number, and asked me to call her...and I did, and we basically scheduled a 1st date.

She lost your phone number? You should tease her about being flaky.

The date went okay-could've been better, could've been worse. I took her out to dinner,

Wrong.

and then we went shopping around town...

Right.

Anyway, sorry to put it so bluntly, but this girl is HOT...and that's probably why I'm getting a little nervous. I really want to impress this girl. So what activities do you think would be creative thing to do on a 2nd date?

Wrong. Don't try to impress girls. They'll think you're desperate. Make it seem like she has to impress you.

Carnival would be nice, but have to wait for it to come to town...home cooking's probably not going to happen yet, as I offered to pick her up from her home on the 1st date, and she said, "No offence, but I don't know you well enough yet to let you know where I live just yet." So that's why we met at a restaurant...


Unless she has an intimate relationship with her mailman then that's the biggest bunch of ******** I've ever heard. If she doesn't want you to pick her up, then tell her to meet you at your place and then walk somewhere nearby, but not before teasing her about her paranoia.

[Discloner]

Master Moron...your advice begs the question as to whether this approach to attracting the opposite sex has actually worked for you. Because atleast in my experience...girls whom you really don't know all that well don't think being called flaky or paranoid is really all that fun. Likewise if you make it seem like they have to impress you...then you come of egotistical. If someone's interested in you, they'll be trying to impress you all on their own without you needing to push it; just as you're working to impress them.

I would perhaps think her not wanting me to know where she lived was odd at first; but some people are just cautious. I'd understand and agree to a middle -ground until we knew each other better. Also...I don't understand your 'Wrongs'. It all sound rather par for a first date to me...

[Kury Wagner]

Any good local bands playing at a small club nearby? Nearly everyone likes live music. Plus small clubs/coffee shops are intimate and rather nifty.

Same as above, but with plays. A bit nicer than a movie, plus it's less loud.

Girls tend to adore mini-golfing or frolfing [Frisbee golfing]. But if she reaaaally sucks at golf, go easy on her when you play.

I dunno. That's about all I've got for ideas. I'm far too simple of a gal. I'd be happy with just sitting in a park or coffee shop, playing cards. Heh. The shopping idea is pretty cool, because it's walking/talking. If you don't find it too boring, look for a small art gallery or something like that.

"No offence, but I don't know you well enough yet to let you know where I live just yet."Urrgh... sounds like she's been burned before. Careful with her. Don't act too clingy or attention-grabby. Play it cool and keep things loose.

Because if you're at a movie, you can't talk and get to know one another,Very true. And since she sounds like a gal that's not comfortable without more facts about you, you should probably put the movie-idea aside for a bit.

What are some of the things you like to do? If you're comfortable with the activity, we'd be happy... ish. Don't shoot for anything fancy or impressive; keep it simple and fun. How do you feel about paint-balling? Seriously, the more playful the better, most times. Unless she's really stuck-up, she'd probably like to have some fun. That's what you should always try for in a date: having fun.

And as for a goodnight kiss, try to read her. I'm one of those girls who doesn't like to take action with things like that, so I'd rather the guy "go in for the kill," if you will. If she doesn't look angry or extremely bored at the moment, you're probably safe with a kiss. And also, read her behaviour during the date. If there's noticable physical contact, you're good to go. If she's going out of her way not to touch you, you might be doing something wrong.

girls whom you really don't know all that well don't think being called flaky or paranoid is really all that fun. Even if we do know you, we don't like being insulted. Really. It's not cutesy. It's not charming. It's jackassish and we hate it. Maybe if there was one of those burn-contests going on, where the girl and the guy go back and forth dissing each other, but that's nearly the only exception. And that shouldn't happen very often. Girls don't like gushy/romantic crap 24/7, but we also don't like jerks.

[Chad Bonin]

Go for a goal.

... (don't people usually make sports analogies with this question? I don't really follow sports)

[Master Moron]

Even if we do know you, we don't like being insulted. Really. It's not cutesy. It's not charming. It's jackassish and we hate it. Maybe if there was one of those burn-contests going on, where the girl and the guy go back and forth dissing each other, but that's nearly the only exception. And that shouldn't happen very often. Girls don't like gushy/romantic crap 24/7, but we also don't like jerks.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, you're totally twisting around what I said. I never said to insult girls. I said to tease them, meaning be funny. There is a gigantic difference between teasing girls and insulting them. And yes, I do tease girls, and yes, they do like it. If a guy tries to tease a girl and she acts offended, then he's probably not being funny, and yes, girls hate that.

[Chris Wood]

Depending on how she said it, the business about not wanting to tell you her address is a bit troubling. If she's just embarrassed about her home then it's no big deal. Otherwise it sounds like bizarre paranoia.

Anyway, since the kiss hasn't happened yet that's priority one for date two. Someplace quiet and romantic. Although it could begin with something active.

[Master Moron]

Depending on how she said it, the business about not wanting to tell you her address is a bit troubling. If she's just embarrassed about her home then it's no big deal. Otherwise it sounds like bizarre paranoia.


Actually, I would say it's far more likely that she's testing him. She wants to see if she can get him to do whatever she wants, even if her request is ridiculous. Giving in to her was a really bad move. That's why I suggested teasing her about it. Again, I am not suggesting insulting her, that would demonstrate that you're easily offended and overly emotional, which is not the response she's looking for. I am suggesting to joke about the ridiculousness of her request. It would show her that you're in control and you're not intimidated by her. That's the type of response that she wants to get. She does not want to get a response that demonstrates that you're a pushover.

Also, I find it interesting that Wonderfly didn't indicate who's idea it was to meet at the restaurant. If he let her decide everything to do on the date, then that demonstrates weakness and indecisiveness to her. Which is why I suggested that he should suggest meeting at his place and go somewhere nearby. Also, by meeting at his place before going out, she would feel more comfortable going back to his place later.

[wonderfly]

She called me back!!! I was going to call her up tonight to schedule that 2nd date...but she called me up first! We set up the 2nd date for this Thursday...

Ladies, do you think presenting her with flowers on a 2nd date is a bit old fashioned, or a no-no? I didn't give her flowers on the 1st date...course I didn't get a kiss on the 1st date either. ;)

Just realized I may have done a no-no...(and it's all because I'm horrible with phone etiquette...): We set the date and time, and I thought the conversation was winding down, so I said I was going to finish my meal, and I would talk to her later...and she said, "Allrighty." and we said goodbye. But what if the conversation wasn't over with? Ack, so hard to tell...I know most women love to talk on the phone, what if she feels like I was rushing her off to resume eating???

I really couldn't think of anything more to say though, (probably me being nervous)...do you guys think I was out of line?

So far, all's we're doing on this 2nd date is going out to dinner, (this is an evening date...the 1st date was a lunch/afternoon date)...I wonder if I should plan something after dinner...any advice?!?

[Chris Wood]

After dinner a classy, quiet bar is always a good bet.

[Discloner]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, you're totally twisting around what I said. I never said to insult girls. I said to tease them, meaning be funny. There is a gigantic difference between teasing girls and insulting them. And yes, I do tease girls, and yes, they do like it. If a guy tries to tease a girl and she acts offended, then he's probably not being funny, and yes, girls hate that.My experience with 'playfully teasing' girls, is that they'll change whether they find it funny and/or enjoyable at the drop of a hat. Its best to avoid the practice at all...especially on a date.

[solarflere]

Just realized I may have done a no-no...(and it's all because I'm horrible with phone etiquette...): We set the date and time, and I thought the conversation was winding down, so I said I was going to finish my meal, and I would talk to her later...and she said, "Allrighty." and we said goodbye. But what if the conversation wasn't over with? Ack, so hard to tell...I know most women love to talk on the phone, what if she feels like I was rushing her off to resume eating???

I really couldn't think of anything more to say though, (probably me being nervous)...do you guys think I was out of line?

So far, all's we're doing on this 2nd date is going out to dinner, (this is an evening date...the 1st date was a lunch/afternoon date)...I wonder if I should plan something after dinner...any advice?!?Now you are being paranoid. Girls do like to talk on the phone a lot, when they know you. But if she took something as innocent as finishing your meal to offence, then there is something wrong there. She might be too possessive and that's never a good thing. Possessiveness in girls will lead to a guy being whipped ( I speak from experience).
As far as flowers, I would go with a nice scented candle. Girls like candles in general, they last longer than flowers (and gives them something to remember you by), and you don't know what flowers she likes to begin with.

[Chris Wood]

I don't know, the candle idea sounds a little weird. I don't think a gift at this stage is necessary but if anything then probably flowers.

[SilentBat18]

i like CHOCOLATE!!! but that's just me and my obsession with chocolate... anywho, flowers would be a cute touch. i certainly wouldnt mind if a guy got me flowers and its not valentine's day.

here's my advice wonderfly: RELAX :) seriously, dont over think anything. just relax, wind down and let things go as they may. now if i say be yourself that would be SOOO cliche, yet it always works ;). and remember to watch for her body LANGUAGE :p. but since she called well its pretty obvious she's interested.

Goodluck :anime:

[solarflere]

I don't know, the candle idea sounds a little weird. I don't think a gift at this stage is necessary but if anything then probably flowers.With Flowers, there is a risk of the girl not liking them, and then there are some girls who define the flower and its color by what it means (red rose means love etc.) For me, a candle always worked, assuming you pick her up from her home, you would not want her to drag it where ever you will go for the rest of the evening. :sweat:

Edit: if you are not sure what to get, don't get anything.
Maybe if an opportunity provides itself, you might want to get her some flowers of her choosing from a local florist, or something from a gift shop.

[Master Moron]

She called me back!!! I was going to call her up tonight to schedule that 2nd date...but she called me up first! We set up the 2nd date for this Thursday...

Ladies, do you think presenting her with flowers on a 2nd date is a bit old fashioned, or a no-no? I didn't give her flowers on the 1st date...course I didn't get a kiss on the 1st date either. ;)

Just realized I may have done a no-no...(and it's all because I'm horrible with phone etiquette...): We set the date and time, and I thought the conversation was winding down, so I said I was going to finish my meal, and I would talk to her later...and she said, "Allrighty." and we said goodbye. But what if the conversation wasn't over with? Ack, so hard to tell...I know most women love to talk on the phone, what if she feels like I was rushing her off to resume eating???


Ummm...that's what you're supposed to do. Leave her wanting more.

[wonderfly]

here's my advice wonderfly: RELAX :) seriously, dont over think anything. just relax, wind down and let things go as they may. now if i say be yourself that would be SOOO cliche, yet it always works ;). and remember to watch for her body LANGUAGE :p. but since she called well its pretty obvious she's interested.

Goodluck :anime:

You have to understand, I'm trying to get all of my nervousness out of my system here online. That's why I'm asking these questions to complete strangers, so I don't second guess myself while I'm actually on the date. :p

[Arsenal]

Two words, Wonderfly: miniature golf.

It's solid gold... unless you're bad at making small talk. Then you'll want an event where you won't have to banter like a movie or concert.

Too soon for flowers. Way too soon for jewelry. Not to soon for a kiss if she seems receptive.

If you do go on a dinner date, eat a small snack beforehand so you are not ravenous. Make it so you can focus on the woman and not the food.

[SilentBat18]

Two words, Wonderfly: miniature golf.

It's solid gold... unless you're bad at making small talk. Then you'll want an event where you won't have to banter like a movie or concert.

Too soon for flowers. Way too soon for jewelry. Not to soon for a kiss if she seems receptive.

If you do go on a dinner date, eat a small snack beforehand so you are not ravenous. Make it so you can focus on the woman and not the food.

Miniature golf is actually a pretty cute idea, both fun and relaxing. but i dont think its too soon for flowers you know. its always flattering to recieve some flowers. it gets you extra points for being thoughtful and sweet, not to mention its a sign to the woman that the guy is at least interested. i dont like second guessing if the guy likes me or not for over a week and what not.

flowers never hurt anyone ;) unless ofcourse she's terribly allergic :p but its the thought that counts

[mikestorm]

If you're looking for something to do after dinner, why not plan on dessert elsewhere? It's summer. Try to find a nice ice cream shop where you can eat outside that's close in proximity to where you're dining. A walk (in a very well lit and public place) is also a nice idea. Otherwise, in a pinch you can settle up at the table and migrate to the bar. I do that often.

Also, I'd pass on the flowers, candle, or any gifts on date # 2. The ONLY time I ever gave flowers to a girl on a first or second date was only because the date was scheduled the day before Valentines Day. I met her at the bar, gave her one pink rose and asked if she didn't have a valentine, I'd be honord if she'd be mine.

As for the kiss, I always test the waters with a hug. Depending on how the hug goes, I'll go in for a kiss before I let go.