Should I have a girlfriend?

[ThePeterNetwork]

So there I am, telling my neighbor about my latest adventures in the nonsensical life that I lead involving comic books, animation, pop culture, everything that brings out the kid in me. What does my neighbor say? "We have to get you a girlfriend." Reason: Everything I'm involved in is "kids stuff."

Don't get me wrong. Ever since I took my first figure drawing lesson in college, I've felt the need for a girlfriend. I came from the belief that if you didn't have a girlfriend in high school, you would never have a girlfriend in your life at all. And I believed that for a while until the aforementioned art lesson. Then, I became curious... and desperate.

I've had online relationships which turned into meeting relationships, and they all went out the window. I thought when I turned 30, the age in which you should have been married years ago and teaching your son about sports, that Love Boat has sailed away without me. There was no place to turn but pyschological age regression. Although I am still an adult, I choose to embrace the youthful side to my nature as an escape from the pain and suffering of the real world. How long this will last, I do not know.

When my neighbor told me about getting me a girlfriend, it was really surprising. No one has ever mentioned anything like that. They've made jokes about it, but never sounded as serious as this. My mother though said that in order to maintain a relationship with a woman, I would need to give up everything that would keep me as a kid forever. Start watching shows like "Law & Order," and "CSI", read novels instead of comic books, watch movies that go contrary to my way of thinking, etc.

So would a girlfriend ruin my life as I know it?

[One Radical Dude]

So would a girlfriend ruin my life as I know it?
Well, it depends. You may have less time to do some of the other things you enjoy (that's especially true, if you and the woman end up marrying), but that doesn't mean that you have to give up everything that you enjoy as a "kid." CSI? Bah. Rules, schmules! :p I'm not very good at this sort of topic. I do believe, however, that even in a relationship, you can still do the things that younger people enjoy.

[Chrono1995]

You gotta embrace your youth. I learned that lesson from my father, who threw that side of him in the trash once he got married. I don't think anyone ever really grows up so much as they adapt to being an adult. Comic books childish? Rubbish and bollocks, the lot of it. The youthful side keeps things ENJOYABLE. No one wants to marry a stoic taxpaying statue, after all.

Relationships are, primarily, about two things as far as I'm concerned: compromise and banter. The two go hand-in-hand. You meet someone, share interests, and adapt to the way they go about expressing and discussing their interests. No relationship is ever fully functional, however, without a good argument. All of the couples I've met that are supremely happy usually crash and burn in a matter of months, whereas the ones who get to know each other and can banter about their differences (and we're not talking serious personality clashes here, just Looney Tunes or CSI kinda stuff) tend to build a bit more steam and gain chemistry. Getting to know someone and seeing how you are to them is the funnest part of relationships, in my opinion.

So, should you get a girlfriend? Well, man, that's up to you. I've been in and out of serious relationships the past two years, and they can be a bummer. I enjoy the life of the single man, especially since I'm getting ready to move to a new place. But, really...life can only be so much fun without having someone there to share it with. Your friends are great, sure, but they can only know so much about you, whereas a significant other can...well, you know...know more.

I say get out there and meet people. Have your friends introduce you around. Some people enjoy living the single life all the time, but if you're really desiring a romance, then go for it. Sure, stuff gets complicated and might get you really, really down, but that comes with the territory and is just something you gain from experience. You can't worry about the end when you're just beginning. So, I say go for it. But it's your call.

[Stardust]

I would worry so much about what should happen by your age. So many people believe in milestones that's seemlingly dictated by society such as marry by 25, have children by 30, and so forth. If you focus on that, then you might appear desperate. And no one is attracted to a desperate person.

When you meet that girl, you'll want to be a better person. You won't have to change all of your ways, but there will be something that makes you want to be better.

I think the main thing people look for is the ability to hold a conversation. Do you keep up with current events? I think your mom means well, I wouldn't give up all your interests, but would expose yourself to other things. Take up a class on something new like gourmet cooking. Eventually some "childish" interests will fade away. I used to be a hardcore anime fan but since my sophomore year I haven't kept up with it. I'll get tidbits here and there from my cousins, which is cool because I can talk to them about anime and I'm cool in their book. :)

Don't perceive yourself as a grownup who likes kid stuff. See yourself as an adult who enjoys the joys of youth.

[Kaoru]

I'm gonna live my whole life the way I want until I die. The only problem I'm having is figuring out what I want.

[Sr.Infierno]

I'm so thankful that I have girlfriend who shares pretty much all of the same interests as me (comics, gaming [she's the biggest Halo fan on the planet], anime, D&D...yes, I said D&D), so that should really be a contributing factor when you start dating. They may be hard to find, but there are plenty of attractive girl geeks out there for you.

[SirLemming]

If you were my age (21) I'd say no, absolutely not. Why anyone in high school or college or the early stages of a career NEEDS a girlfriend is beyond me. It's not like you're gonna get married anyway. But in your 30's? You still don't NEED one, but if you do want that kind of relationship, I guess now would be the time to seek it out more actively. At my age my philosophy is really just to let things happen if they happen, since I have so many other things to worry about, but I'll probably get less passive about it once my life is really underway.

[mikestorm]

You only live once. Do what makes you happy. You seem perfectly content rolling along as you are. Don't feel the need to conform to where someone of your age and demographic should be because society is putting pressure on you to.

[The Falcon]

girlfriends are pretty great, but there's no need to sacrifice what you love in order to obtain one. besides, if you do get a girlfriend, wouldn't you rather have her interested in the same things you are? if she opposes all that you do, then it'd make for a pretty crummy relationship anyway

[ThePeterNetwork]

Don't feel the need to conform to where someone of your age and demographic should be because society is putting pressure on you to.

Not only that, when folks my age get married at 25 and have children in their 30's, they often wind up getting divorced at 35. Don't want that happening.:sad:

[Czar Gato]

If you really want to start dating again, then I say go for it, but don't let it dictate what your interests are. There are plenty of geeky, wonderful girls out there who are interested in having meaningful relationships with guys with similar interests.

[Master Moron]

So there I am, telling my neighbor about my latest adventures in the nonsensical life that I lead involving comic books, animation, pop culture, everything that brings out the kid in me. What does my neighbor say? "We have to get you a girlfriend." Reason: Everything I'm involved in is "kids stuff."

Don't get me wrong. Ever since I took my first figure drawing lesson in college, I've felt the need for a girlfriend. I came from the belief that if you didn't have a girlfriend in high school, you would never have a girlfriend in your life at all. And I believed that for a while until the aforementioned art lesson. Then, I became curious... and desperate.

I've had online relationships which turned into meeting relationships, and they all went out the window. I thought when I turned 30, the age in which you should have been married years ago and teaching your son about sports, that Love Boat has sailed away without me. There was no place to turn but pyschological age regression. Although I am still an adult, I choose to embrace the youthful side to my nature as an escape from the pain and suffering of the real world. How long this will last, I do not know.

When my neighbor told me about getting me a girlfriend, it was really surprising. No one has ever mentioned anything like that. They've made jokes about it, but never sounded as serious as this. My mother though said that in order to maintain a relationship with a woman, I would need to give up everything that would keep me as a kid forever. Start watching shows like "Law & Order," and "CSI", read novels instead of comic books, watch movies that go contrary to my way of thinking, etc.

So would a girlfriend ruin my life as I know it?

You don't need to give all that stuff up. You just need to hide it. Don't have cartoon and comic posters in your room, and don't talk about that stuff on dates.

[Kaner]

Not only that, when folks my age get married at 25 and have children in their 30's, they often wind up getting divorced at 35. Don't want that happening.:sad:

Exactly! Getting married young is a sucker's bet. I don't plan on getting hitched (if ever) for a long while and I'm 27.

But here's the thing, you don't have to give up any of the geeky stuff. Just find some one that shares your interests. Physical beaty is so transitory. It's the brain and the fun that matter. Believe me I know. Dated plenty of fine ass women that couldn't give a toss about comics, cartoons, or games. Guess what, all those relationships ended within a month.

However, don't throw your nerd nuts out on the first date. Ease into it slow and let her and you figure each other out. Their'll probably be a lot of misses, but there will be some hits. Good luck brother. Lemme know if it works out for ya.

Oh and that reminds me, I think your foxy as hell Czar Gatta. If you're ever in Seattle look me up.

-Kaner

[Czar Gato]

Oh and that reminds me, I think your foxy as hell Czar Gatta. If you're ever in Seattle look me up.
You probably wouldn't think that if you saw how I am now, but thanks! :nurse: :anime:

[Dr. OneWay]

Plenty of girls will like you for who you are, but they seem to be harder to find :\ Best of luck! :)

[Leaping Larry Jojo]

Giving up your childhood pleasures is ridiculous. Besides, is liking cartoons and comic books any more childish than a grown woman spending $1000 a month in beauty salons and products? Or a typical adult male fetishizing over cars? Those aren't "mature" hobbies by any means.

I think a good idea, though, would be to become more versatile in your knowledge of all things life. Keep liking your comics and cartoons, but learn about other stuff too. This way you can talk about other things should conversations steer away from your first loves. Obviously, you at least want a woman to accept your pleasures, that is the most important part. But she doesn't have to like the same things as you do to be with you, as long as you have SOME things in common.

[Elven Moon]

Don't let society tell you what you should have in order to be happy. Whether or not you're dating anybody shouldn't matter. Live your life the way YOU want to. Watch cartoons, drink chocolate milk through a silly straw, go to zoos, do any "childish" thing you want. Don't sacrifice your "freedom" or throw away the things you love just to nab a significant other.

That's MY philosophy anyway ;) But then, I've never dated (and I'm 25 :P Go geeky girls!) so maybe my perspective is a little skewed.

[Chris Sanders MSX]

Pffft... do you.

All my girlfriends have made fun of my comic, cartoon and child-like hobbies, But they stayed with me reguardless because I'm a good kisser ;) (haha j/k).. A couple of them even conforming and enjoying some of it, as long as I made the typical concessions of missing Saturday night anime to take them out, in which case I'd just tape what I wanted.

My current girlfriend even now cracks jokes, but she finds that I'm pretty confident in myself and my hobbies and thats okay.

Your hobbies won't hinder you. It might be something else. No offense.

[K-S-O]

Don't listen to what people say! It's your life and you're free to live it how you want... as long as you don't hurt others!

If you want to find a girlfriend, go ahead. Just don't let it mess you up!

[Kaoru]

An internet friend of mine has a very religious, puritanic girlfriend. Now he's nothing like that but he tolerates all of her weird practices. I do wonder why he doesn't date someone more like him though, could it be sex is that good?

Speaking of sex, I never understood why very young children are pressured into dating, when the biggest reason for adults doing it is sex, and you can't have sex so young - it's illegal. Maybe it's that their parents hope that way they won't grow-up gay. I'm not homophobic but many people are. Then again I don't know if parents do have anything with that. But most of these things are result of societal conformity.

And marriage - if you can't be too sure she won't take off with money and kids and leave you paying child support, then don't marry. In fact, consider living defacto for the rest of your life, because you can never be too sure, and every time I hear of a marriage sob story like that I think "suckers".

[sun]

Bueno swuerto, es la muchacha que usted veo que es imporante.
Burna muchacha, muy bueno, Mala muchacha, bueno swuarto a usted, otra vez....
Es la verdad

Stuardo.........

[tucsoncoyote]

Actually take it from an expert who's been down the girlfriend road at least 9 times already... They're not worth it in the short term, but in the long term (if you can keep them with you) then it's worth it.. otherwise it's not..

Do I sound Cynnical? Maybe I am, after all the last 9 times I got my heart broken, but I recovered and got over it.


Look I'm 43, and I live a rather loner's life.. I've had 9 different girlfirend from varying walks of life.. and I found out that they did mess me up... so badly that I'm now doing therapy, and taking prescribed Psychiatric meds to keep me from going totally insane. (Also computer therapy works (It's just me, the computers, the games, the art, the writing. plus plenty of sleep and proper diet and exercise.)

I mean I would really love a girlfriend, if she understood, I'm 43, legally blind, suffering from health problems, but very intelligent, funny, and wouldn't mind getting out for a coffee or maybe some lunch from time to time.. Window shopping is fun, going to the movies, even better (but the I start to think about what my male roomie says.. You got to have money to date a girlfriend.. I find this totally bogus in his thinking.. Love and friendship are the keys to a good relationship,as well as communication with your girlfriend).

Seems everytime I was with a girlfriend I got used time and time again.. well I have this to say to the last 9 girlfriends who dumped me..

It's your loss not mine..

(After all I might be holding the key to riches beyond any girls dreams.. and yet.. they don't want a guy with good caring qualities? Fine by me)

After all I have lived most of my life alone.. I'll probably die alone.. but when I think about the lack of love by a girlfriend, versus the loneliness? I'll take the loneliness every time.

Girlfriends can be a blessing or a curse.. I just have this to say.. Be Careful.. the girlfriend who says she loves you, probably has a knife waiting to plunge into your heart and break it into a million pieces..

But if you have the will, then by all means go for it.. after all you can't take risks without being sunk at least 9 times over..so already I'm 9 times wiser then the first time I got a girlfriend. Besides if any girls want me, they'll search me out.. I don't go searching for women anymore..

I'm tired, and just fed up with the dating game. after all there are a lot of posers out there who will hurt you when you least expect it..


So there's my advice.. just play it safe okay?

:coyote:

[Master Moron]

Speaking of sex, I never understood why very young children are pressured into dating, when the biggest reason for adults doing it is sex, and you can't have sex so young - it's illegal.


Ummm...no, it's not. It's illegal for an adult to have sex with a minor. It's not illegal for a minor to have sex with a minor. And since when have parents pressured young children into dating? Usually, it's the opposite, with the kids wanting to date and the parents telling them they're not old enough.

[Wanted]

And since when have parents pressured young children into dating?It's not dating, but arranged marriages have gone on for centuries.