Am I Diversified

[zmanjz]

You tell me what you've got, and Cramer will tell you if you're Diversified.

[Lucky Bob]

I got pets.com and Enron

[zmanjz]

I got pets.com and Enron

You got a Company that sells pet supplies over the internet, and a company that buys and sells energy.

Those companies sound as unrelated as possible. Yes YOU ARE DIVERSIFIED.

<hallelujah>

But once again, Cramer only Buys Best of Breed. SO I'm telling you to sell Pets.com, and invest in Truckloads of Milkbones.

and Sell Enron and buy lots of Duracell Batteries. I guarantee you a better return, or my Name's not Edison.

[redDragon]

I 0WNZZZZZZZZZZZ J000000000000000!!!!!

[Zam]

http://photobucket.com/albums/b293/3DSAM/car.jpg

[zmanjz]

http://photobucket.com/albums/b293/3DSAM/car.jpg

Oooooh.

Carebears.

First of all, putting all your money in a single company means that you are NOT diversified.

then secondly

WE all know that Cramer doesn't like being Bearish when there's always a Bull market somewhere.


and you come to me with the Care bears.


I say Sell Care bears and Buy Beanie Babies.

[Aquadementia]

Celebrity belly button lint.
Wet and not wet yet kinds?

And nuns.

[CartoonOverlord]

i oWN NinJAS CorP. And CoWBoyS INc.

[redDragon]

Celebrity belly button lint.
Wet and not wet yet kinds?

And nuns.


3WWWS!!! W3T L1NT IS T3H N4STIES!

[The Penguin]

Greetings, Mr. Cramer. I'm mostly into distilleries and whiskey quack and I'm not into umbrellas at all.

[zmanjz]

Celebrity belly button lint.
Wet and not wet yet kinds?

And nuns.

you my friend are well diversified.

may I also recomend brothels to round out your portfolio.

[zmanjz]

Greetings, Mr. Cramer. I'm mostly into distilleries and whiskey quack and I'm not into umbrellas at all.

a single field investor? you sir are not diversified.

May I recomend selling some distilleries, and buying rubber poultry. both ducks amd chicken manufacturers.

[zmanjz]

i oWN NinJAS CorP. And CoWBoyS INc.

you my friend are well diversified.

you stick with both of them, and you stick with craaaaamer.

[Rasputin]

Hmmm...my good sir, I have a substantial portfolio of McDonalds french-fry pastes (you can't believe how many suppliers there are! It's very competitive) as well as a minority stake in PLUTO (dog and planet, though the WTO is trying to reclassify them as 'puppy and asteroid' due to an accountancy dispute).

I'm considering investing in 'shadow' products. The literature says that it's a sure thing since they attach to everything in the path of the sun and have no manufacturing costs, but I have my doubts. What would you say?

[zmanjz]

Hmmm...my good sir, I have a substantial portfolio of McDonalds french-fry pastes (you can't believe how many suppliers there are! It's very competitive) as well as a minority stake in PLUTO (dog and planet, though the WTO is trying to reclassify them as 'puppy and asteroid' due to an accountancy dispute).

I'm considering investing in 'shadow' products. The literature says that it's a sure thing since they attach to everything in the path of the sun and have no manufacturing costs, but I have my doubts. What would you say?


French Fries and DOg/Planet...

While there can be some overlap in the foods sector depending on the local culture, you my friend are Diversified.

Now, you can't go wrong with a McD Supplier, because People MUST eat at mcdonalds.

But as for your play on Plutos, May I recomend a switch to MERCURY, Symbol: AMI.

This play encompasses Cars, Thermometers, Blue Hair Dyes, and unlike Pluto's Gates of Time which have been a stagnant stock for longer than there's been trading, The Tech sector is still booming, and that means the"Mercury Computer"

I give Mercury two thumbs up, WAY UP.

As for your shadow play, I recomend Mercury's "Dark Mercury" products. While these products are only available on a seasonal basis, the Dark Mercury aspect is VALUE ADDED to the Planet play, and that's why we like MERCURY symbol: AMI.

[ZorBrak]

Hello Cramer, I would like you to examine my portfolio. I think I got a real power house here with my one at the very bottom of this list... the rest are okay I guess... don't know about the top one though :
http://img.timeinc.net/people/i/2005/features/qa/051017/jalba.jpg

http://zappa.brainiac.com/spaceship/AMT/ertl-death-star.jpeg

http://www.hort.purdue.edu/ext/senior/vegetabl/images/small/celery.jpg
http://www.indiaplaza.com/content/giftstoindia/mcdonalds/clown.jpg

http://www.thespecialforce.com/Montagnard/Really_Old_Lady.jpg

[Daizaburo Estes]

I've got Hugbees and Lobster Brain... HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! FACE, DICK!

http://img471.imageshack.us/img471/5448/yays9au.gif

[zmanjz]

Hello Cramer, I would like you to examine my portfolio. I think I got a real power house here with my one at the very bottom of this list... the rest are okay I guess... don't know about the top one though :
http://img.timeinc.net/people/i/2005/features/qa/051017/jalba.jpg

http://zappa.brainiac.com/spaceship/AMT/ertl-death-star.jpeg

http://www.hort.purdue.edu/ext/senior/vegetabl/images/small/celery.jpg
http://www.indiaplaza.com/content/giftstoindia/mcdonalds/clown.jpg

http://www.thespecialforce.com/Montagnard/Really_Old_Lady.jpg

My friend, you are Diversified.... without a Doubt. But May I just say, that the Celery is a fine Invest ment, But if you want to make the Mad money, I recomend Hagen Das.

The margin is much higher, and Cramer likes the taste of success.

[zmanjz]

I've got Hugbees and Lobster Brain... HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! FACE, DICK!

http://img471.imageshack.us/img471/5448/yays9au.gif

Ok, Now in a case like this, which Cramer likes to call "Fist of the North Star-itis"

You are diversified, but in all the wrong places.

I recomend

<BOOM>

ok... Next caller.

[Temple Fugate]

My portfolio only has stocks in Melonex watches and derby hats.

[zmanjz]

My portfolio only has stocks in Melonex watches and derby hats.

Watches and Hats? too much accorizizizing

Cramer says you need to diversify. Since you like Derby hats, you seem to be going for a Vaudville thing.


Therefore my Vaudeville play is for pies. Cream pies.

Nothing says Vaudeville like a pie-take.

and even if the whole Vaudeville thing doesn't work, you still have pies which you can eat or sell. it's Win Win, and Cramer likes to not lose.


So stick with <SPLAT> ...


MMmmm... Coconut.

[randomguy]

I have two cigars, a half-eaten baseball and a flask of bourbon.