I get it

[Fone Bone]

I love my mom, I really do. But growing up with her has REALLY tuned up my comment radar. My mom used to say nasty things to me but I've made peace with that. That is my Mom being my Mom. There is something I won't ever fully get over though. My Mom had mastered the art of saying little comments that cut through my self-esteem more than any time I've been called a bastard.

I have Aspergers as I blathered on numerous times but the funny thing is that my bs detector is pretty strong for someone whose diagnosis means they supposedly can't read social cues. I can tell a "comment" that may supposed to be harmless to anyone else is supposed to be deeply hurtful and cutting to me. The worst part of it is how humiliating it is for me when said comments are done in the vicinity of people I don't know very well and don't understand how hurtful what is being said is and I have to sit there pretending I'm fine when I'm feeling deeply ashamed and embarrased. The comment may seem a little "odd" to the stranger but taken out of context they have no idea how hurtful is is. My Dad has to put up with this anytime people visit or he goes out in public.

This phenomenon isn't limited to my family however. I at one point had believed my mother invented this type of manipulation but I'm starting to see it on-line as well. I'm posting this in my blog and wherever else I frequent to let you guys know that I understand: I'm a loser. I'm not funny. I'm not cute and I am unbearable to be around. Message received. I have been totally lurking here and on all of the other sites I visit and it has not stopped. I suppose I should stop posting on-line but I've actually made a few close friends and the idea of not being able to talk to them is more difficult for me than any of the crap I may have to endure.

I know I'm being a drama queen but I've made peace with the fact that I overreact to every little thing but I just wanted to let people know that I now realize what a completely horrible person I am and I would like to ask them to stop telling me by way of little comments. I get it.

[Kurtman]

I love my mom, I really do. But growing up with her has REALLY tuned up my comment radar. My mom used to say nasty things to me but I've made peace with that. That is my Mom being my Mom. There is something I won't ever fully get over though. My Mom had mastered the art of saying little comments that cut through my self-esteem more than any time I've been called a bastard.

I have Aspergers as I blathered on numerous times but the funny thing is that my bs detector is pretty strong for someone whose diagnosis means they supposedly can't read social cues. I can tell a "comment" that may supposed to be harmless to anyone else is supposed to be deeply hurtful and cutting to me. The worst part of it is how humiliating it is for me when said comments are done in the vicinity of people I don't know very well and don't understand how hurtful what is being said is and I have to sit there pretending I'm fine when I'm feeling deeply ashamed and embarrased. The comment may seem a little "odd" to the stranger but taken out of context they have no idea how hurtful is is. My Dad has to put up with this anytime people visit or he goes out in public.

This phenomenon isn't limited to my family however. I at one point had believed my mother invented this type of manipulation but I'm starting to see it on-line as well. I'm posting this in my blog and wherever else I frequent to let you guys know that I understand: I'm a loser. I'm not funny. I'm not cute and I am unbearable to be around. Message received. I have been totally lurking here and on all of the other sites I visit and it has not stopped. I suppose I should stop posting on-line but I've actually made a few close friends and the idea of not being able to talk to them is more difficult for me than any of the crap I may have to endure.

I know I'm being a drama queen but I've made peace with the fact that I overreact to every little thing but I just wanted to let people know that I now realize what a completely horrible person I am and I would like to ask them to stop telling me by way of little comments. I get it.
I know. I'm very notorious for overreactions as well,my fellow Aspie. This fashion designer came to my school one day and make this comment that I took as an insult. It was about judging people by their clothes (She said bs like all people who wear orange are outgoing extroverts,all people who wear grey are emo and cut themselves,etc). She returned but to a different class of mine. I remembered her face and got really upset. I threw a big fit and embarassed her in front of the whole class by yelling that she's full of it and they shouldn't listen to her. I stormed out of the room to cool down. I didn't get a referral but I had to have a chat with my aide.

[Lord Dalek]

Think about it Matt, you're not perfect but you could be alot worse off. I think about it all the time. And in this godless universe of ours, that's something to be proud of.

[Temple Fugate]

Fone Bone, you and I have no relationship beyond the fact that we both post to Toon Zone and we reply to each other's threads once in a while, (and we both have excellet taste in television shows) but I can't recall a single time I ever read a post and thought anything negative in regards to your character. You consistently post thought-out, rational remarks and I've come to respect you as a perfectly decent person.

Maybe I'm just ignorant, but I didn't notice anything in what you've said here these last two years that suggested you suffered from Asperger's, and I must have missed the posts in which you mention it. None of us can really understand what it's like without actually having the disease. I knew someone with Autism who had severe social problems, but I still know very little about the specifics of it. Clearly this is a serious matter that you are dealing with, even if I don't see any evidence to support the idea that you are a "horrible person." Unless you act drastically different in-person than on-line, I don't think you have those kind of negative qualities.

I'm not one of the more outspoken or overly-social guys here, but I thought you should know that you're A-OK in my book. I'm sure there are a lot of people that will reply to this thread with similar responses.

Take care,
Temple Fugate

[guinaevere]

I realize that pretty much the second half of this year I've been gone for one reason or another, but ahem...

WHAT?!


okay, maybe I ought not have all the details leading up to this. But I'm not tolerating this at all.

Physically I couldn't say, (nor forgive me, care) if you're cute as I've never seen you. You're more serious than some of us, but big deal, so you don't laugh as easily everyone. People can deal.

However, You are not a loser. You are not unbearable to be around. If you are a horrible person, you've hidden the fact pretty damn well.

Yeah, I'm talking to you, Mr Zimmer... deal with this when I say quite adamantly that you've got a very sweet and tender heart that touches me and has helped me grow just over the past couple years as I've gotten to know you better, Matt.

So be a drama queen for a while. Get it out of your system that people around here have hurt you, and most likely will continue to sneak in snide comments when they have no cause to... unfortunately that never stops in this world. But I don't want to hear this self disapproval or disgust. Not from you, mister. If anyone around here has had more than his share, and has continued to try to rise above over and over, it's you.

I'm just... ooooooohhh!!! Not cool people!!!

[EinBebop]

Sorry, friend, but if you think so little of yourself, you don't get it.

I like you, and I'm sure plenty of other people will tell you the same, but when self-loathing kicks in, our voices are distant echoes.

When you're ready to like yourself, you'll find a lot of the things you fret about will fall into place. I know it's far easier said than done, and I hope you'll find that in yourself one day soon.

[Mek]

Not surprisingly enough, I feel the exact same way.

*hugs*

[solarflere]

Fone, you know I would not lie to you. But the things you said are just not true. I don't beliave a word you said in that post. It's not that yo overreact (although you do that sometimes) but you just happaned to be around very hateful people that would make anyone feel like crap. You can't let them get to you like this. You are beating yourself up for no reason at all. You need to learn how to ignore people that insult you. The one thing I am sertain of, they will always exist to do us harm. By talking like this, you are letting them win.

[Fone Bone]

I realize that pretty much the second half of this year I've been gone for one reason or another, but ahem...

WHAT?!


okay, maybe I ought not have all the details leading up to this. But I'm not tolerating this at all.

Physically I couldn't say, (nor forgive me, care) if you're cute as I've never seen you. You're more serious than some of us, but big deal, so you don't laugh as easily everyone. People can deal.

However, You are not a loser. You are not unbearable to be around. If you are a horrible person, you've hidden the fact pretty damn well.

Yeah, I'm talking to you, Mr Zimmer... deal with this when I say quite adamantly that you've got a very sweet and tender heart that touches me and has helped me grow just over the past couple years as I've gotten to know you better, Matt.

So be a drama queen for a while. Get it out of your system that people around here have hurt you, and most likely will continue to sneak in snide comments when they have no cause to... unfortunately that never stops in this world. But I don't want to hear this self disapproval or disgust. Not from you, mister. If anyone around here has had more than his share, and has continued to try to rise above over and over, it's you.

I'm just... ooooooohhh!!! Not cool people!!!I don't think badly about myself at all. I'm depressed but I've been depressed most of my adult life and I'm still me. Me saying I'm a loser is me letting folks who think so that I've gotten the message and it would probably be time for them to stop being jackasses to me. I don't think I'm a loser, but I REALLY would like the comments to stop. If someone doesn't like me, I'll live with that but the little comments I keep getting are really depressing. I say affirmations of my self-worth often enough but it really doesn't mean anything if other people are making me feel like crap.


Sorry, friend, but if you think so little of yourself, you don't get it.

I like you, and I'm sure plenty of other people will tell you the same, but when self-loathing kicks in, our voices are distant echoes.

When you're ready to like yourself, you'll find a lot of the things you fret about will fall into place. I know it's far easier said than done, and I hope you'll find that in yourself one day soon. I'm not looking for a pity party. Like I said, I think of myself as a decent person but if not I don't need to be constantly reminded of how much of an ass I am.



Fone Bone, you and I have no relationship beyond the fact that we both post to Toon Zone and we reply to each other's threads once in a while, (and we both have excellet taste in television shows) but I can't recall a single time I ever read a post and thought anything negative in regards to your character. You consistently post thought-out, rational remarks and I've come to respect you as a perfectly decent person.

Maybe I'm just ignorant, but I didn't notice anything in what you've said here these last two years that suggested you suffered from Asperger's, and I must have missed the posts in which you mention it. None of us can really understand what it's like without actually having the disease. I knew someone with Autism who had severe social problems, but I still know very little about the specifics of it. Clearly this is a serious matter that you are dealing with, even if I don't see any evidence to support the idea that you are a "horrible person." Unless you act drastically different in-person than on-line, I don't think you have those kind of negative qualities.

I'm not one of the more outspoken or overly-social guys here, but I thought you should know that you're A-OK in my book. I'm sure there are a lot of people that will reply to this thread with similar responses.

Take care,
Temple Fugate Considering I have pretty much agreed with everything you have ever written this is really good to hear.;) :D


Think about it Matt, you're not perfect but you could be alot worse off. I think about it all the time. I know this but, ahem, "reverse affirmations" never help. Thanks.





I know. I'm very notorious for overreactions as well,my fellow Aspie. This fashion designer came to my school one day and make this comment that I took as an insult. It was about judging people by their clothes (She said bs like all people who wear orange are outgoing extroverts,all people who wear grey are emo and cut themselves,etc). She returned but to a different class of mine. I remembered her face and got really upset. I threw a big fit and embarassed her in front of the whole class by yelling that she's full of it and they shouldn't listen to her. I stormed out of the room to cool down. I didn't get a referral but I had to have a chat with my aide. I don't think I'm overreacting though. I have noticed a definate upswing in people having no use for anything I say. This isn't all in my head, although at this point I wish it were.


Not surprisingly enough, I feel the exact same way.

*hugs* I have totally gotten this from some of your sadder posts and I have to say I've always seen you as a kindred spirit. I really like you, at any rate.

[90'sCartoonMan]

I'm posting this in my blog and wherever else I frequent to let you guys know that I understand: I'm a loser. I'm not funny. I'm not cute and I am unbearable to be around. Message received. I don't think you do get it. People here like you. How many have nominated you for their favorite member? We're not the best judges when it comes to whether or not you're unbearable to be around since we don't know you in real life, but whoever this "Fone Bone" is, is a respected and beloved member of our community. Compare how you act around here as opposed to, say, Jarmyn. If you can't see that and think otherwise, you really don't get it. What does it mean to be a "loser" anyway? To me, a loser is someone whose actions work to degrade society rather than contribute to it. You don't strike me as that person. And for the record, I've found some of your comments in the past hilarious.

I just wanted to let people know that I now realize what a completely horrible person I am and I would like to ask them to stop telling me by way of little comments. I get it. Fone, you seem to be struggling with a lot of things. There's your mother (even though you say you've made peace, you still started this thread by bringing her up), dealing with Aspergers, comments online and whatever comments you had to face in real life, and maybe even turning 30 is still bothering you. I'm not going to pretend to know what you're going through, but everyone has to deal with crap at some point. Gwen probably said it best.

So be a drama queen for a while. Get it out of your system that people around here have hurt you, and most likely will continue to sneak in snide comments when they have no cause to... unfortunately that never stops in this world. It doesn't stop in this world. People hurt each other's feelings, people piss each other off, and that's just an inevitability. There are bad people out there. Some people hurt you intentionally, and some don't, but whatever the case is, you can't just give into it an accept what they say about you. Don't let anyone make you think any less of yourself.

I've noticed that your "time away" from Toon Zone didn't seem to last very long. You didn't post on November 1st, 2nd, or 6th, and even though you have posted less these past two weeks, your presence was still felt, and you were still lurking. I think the problem may be that you're still here "mentally". You can't get those comments out of your head, and it clouds the way you think about yourself and your life. I can only wish you the best in dealing with that. Just know that there are people here to support you.

You have a blog? I didn't know that...

[Style]

People are making little dispariging comments and insulting you?

Report their asses and get them banned!

Oh, this pisses me off to no end. I'm fuming right now. People being down on the Bone? Off with their heads! That is about the most disgusting kind of activity I can envision. Especially when Fone is like the greatest poster in the history of ever. Man oh man, I want to get physically violent right now over this.

Don't put up with this Fone! Get them reported hard and fast!

And if I happen to be one of the people you are talking about, I deeply regret it and you have my deepest apologies, and I'd encourage to report me on it.

I'm so made right now...:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

[sun]

Fone most of us really care a great deal about you..You are not a looser, in fact your insites into certain aspects of TV, and many aspects of our TZ, is to be admired and looked up to..
..Sure, not all will agree with, with you or any of us...It is natural..
..But you are a fine person, sensitive, and intelligent..One of the best.
..Don't you forget that you are wanted and part of our community..You post intelligently in many forums, and are as much a part of us. as is anyone
. And your courage, and honesty could be emulated by us all.
Stuart

[Stewie]

People are making little dispariging comments and insulting you?

[Report their asses and get them banned!]No no no. That's not the way to handle things. Any post that might possibly be construed as negative toward Fone Bone should be handled by the Friends of Fone. It's their motto.

Friends of Fone: We handle things.

I just wanted to let people know that I now realize what a completely horrible person I am and I would like to ask them to stop telling me by way of little comments. I get it.Dear Foner,

Knock it off! If you're doing something wrong, Gwen will tell you. That's her job. If anyone else has anything to say, they can "stick it". Tell them I said so.

As for your real life mother, no one can help you with that. Throughout nature, mothers have the ability to effortlessly destroy the emotional and psychological self of any of their children. There's no stopping it. You just have buy them nice things for Mother's Day and hope that you can some day please them. No one truly does. Yet in a way, we all do. It's one of those paradox things.

If you still can't help but feel down about yourself (and knowing you, you may not be able to) then remember what I said to tell anyone that doesn't like you. "Stick it."

Sincerely,
Stewie

[Martianinvader]

I know I'm being a drama queen Nobody's noticed this yet.......queen?

Was this subconscious or something?

Anyway.....everyone gets upset from time to time, and usually Fone is the first around here to comfort the upset. For this reason and several others, Fone is kind of hard to hate. I haven't seen anyone tear into him, at least here. He's also one of the most popular users. I know nothing of his problems at home, but there was no reason to "lurk." America loves Fone.:gir:

I'll have to admit though that some things Fone Bone openly admits are a little disturbing to the average male humanoid. If you want MORE respect, in more areas of life, then, well, I'd stop bragging about how many plushies I own, buddy.

[Aquadementia]

If your self confidence has been shot to hell a few rude words can knock you off your feet.
And if the people you should be able to rely on the most are being part of the problem, well I don't know, sometimes they have their own problems or are gone completely.

So, maybe you do have your own self esteem problem, but at the same time you've been a positive force around here and are always building people up.
You should feel good about that.
And you don't have to take the kind of grief you're talking about.

[Mek]

Well, I have yet to hear the term 'drama king'. XD

If you want MORE respect, in more areas of life, then, well, I'd stop bragging about how many plushies I own, buddy.
Hey, I like a guy who can admit to owning plushies. =(

[EinBebop]

Well, I have yet to hear the term 'drama king'. XDDrama prince has a nicer ring to it.

[Kuja's Light]

Fone, you're a great guy, pelase don't do this...I can definately hear ya on some things. I mean, I have Depression, and I can take things pretty hard...I know how it feels, and I'm here for you. I care for you like family, and my love is eternal. Whatever form it takes, it is.

Never forget there are people who will always truly care for you, and i wish I could display this more. besides, you are cute, at least to me. I mean, you love plushies, that's a cuddly aspact!

Oh, if respect has to do entirely with being a "man", instead of following your heart and love and things..then i wouldn't want any. True respect is gained for being who you are inside, not some general set of "guidellines"

*Hugs Fone*

[MonkeyFunk]

People used to tell me to cut my hands off because I kept drawing kids with big eyes, and you know what? I JUST KEPT MAKING THOSE EYES BIGGER

[Fone Bone]

People are making little dispariging comments and insulting you?

Report their asses and get them banned!

Oh, this pisses me off to no end. I'm fuming right now. People being down on the Bone? Off with their heads! That is about the most disgusting kind of activity I can envision. Especially when Fone is like the greatest poster in the history of ever. Man oh man, I want to get physically violent right now over this.

Don't put up with this Fone! Get them reported hard and fast!

And if I happen to be one of the people you are talking about, I deeply regret it and you have my deepest apologies, and I'd encourage to report me on it.

I'm so made right now...:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:I have to say, this cheered me up greatly.:D

No way in heck anyone would get banned or even warned for some of the stuff I've picked up on. The thing about manipulative little comments that is something that I "get" is that to anyone else they don't seem to be a big deal. They cut the person they are against greatly but to anyone else, they have no impact and will probably have the person who hears them say "What's the big deal?" That's the insidiousness of these comments.

Examples? If I gave some I'd probably get in trouble. What the heck: I've noticed in the past month or so that there have been several people complaining about birthday threads. I don't mean the people who think there are too many because even I think that. I've heard comments that they are shallow and meaningless which is something that hurts more than I can possibly say. I probably won't be doing that many more except for people I am REALLY close friends with like Style, Merlin Missy, oldtoonguy etc.

Do you want to know WHY I do the birthday threads? The one that I started on my birthday got SO many responses that I was touched beyond the telling of it. It meant more than I can possibly say that people were letting me know that they liked me and were wishing me a happy birthday and I was doing a mixture of laughing and crying as I read it. I don't have that many friends in real life and the idea that I was liked and accepted was a very strong and powerful feeling.

Needless to say, after that I felt that everyone should be allowed to feel that. I looked over people's posts the following day to see exactly how often they posted and if they were likely to see a birthday wish. It didn't really matter if I knew them I wanted to make sure they got a thread. I definately missed some people and I apologize for that but I am not perfect and in most cases if I didn't start a thread somebody else would have. That's the reason I do birthday threads. And to hear them called shallow and meaningless is something that hurts on many levels ESPECIALLY considering that is what I'm most known for here.

By the way, it hasn't been just this one type of slight that I've noticed. I'm not going to point out some of the other stuff because it is slightly personal.



Fone, you know I would not lie to you. But the things you said are just not true. I don't beliave a word you said in that post. It's not that yo overreact (although you do that sometimes) but you just happaned to be around very hateful people that would make anyone feel like crap. You can't let them get to you like this. You are beating yourself up for no reason at all. You need to learn how to ignore people that insult you. The one thing I am certain of, they will always exist to do us harm. By talking like this, you are letting them win. I know they aren't true. But that doesn't stop me from either feeling them or feeling that everybody else is thinking them. Words can hurt people in a way can't be measured by different people. I know this very much by personal experience.


I don't think you do get it. People here like you. How many have nominated you for their favorite member? We're not the best judges when it comes to whether or not you're unbearable to be around since we don't know you in real life, but whoever this "Fone Bone" is, is a respected and beloved member of our community. Compare how you act around here as opposed to, say, Jarmyn. If you can't see that and think otherwise, you really don't get it. What does it mean to be a "loser" anyway? To me, a loser is someone whose actions work to degrade society rather than contribute to it. You don't strike me as that person. And for the record, I've found some of your comments in the past hilarious.


Fone, you seem to be struggling with a lot of things. There's your mother (even though you say you've made peace, you still started this thread by bringing her up), dealing with Aspergers, comments online and whatever comments you had to face in real life, and maybe even turning 30 is still bothering you. I'm not going to pretend to know what you're going through, but everyone has to deal with crap at some point. Gwen probably said it best.

It doesn't stop in this world. People hurt each other's feelings, people piss each other off, and that's just an inevitability. There are bad people out there. Some people hurt you intentionally, and some don't, but whatever the case is, you can't just give into it an accept what they say about you. Don't let anyone make you think any less of yourself. I try not to but after years of hearing it, it doesn't help. You hear the same stuff for long enough you will start to believe it.

I've noticed that your "time away" from Toon Zone didn't seem to last very long. You didn't post on November 1st, 2nd, or 6th, and even though you have posted less these past two weeks, your presence was still felt, and you were still lurking. I think the problem may be that you're still here "mentally". You can't get those comments out of your head, and it clouds the way you think about yourself and your life. I can only wish you the best in dealing with that. Just know that there are people here to support you. Of course I know that. I know I have friends here and that's the reason I couldn't stay away. There are a few people who are making me feel like crap but the idea of not being able to talk to you and Style and oldtoonguy and everyone else was just unbearable for me. I was hoping if I posted less it would stop but I still don't feel any better.

You have a blog? I didn't know that... Everything in it is friends locked so there wouldn't be anything it in you would be able to read without joining live-journal.







No no no. That's not the way to handle things. Any post that might possibly be construed as negative toward Fone Bone should be handled by the Friends of Fone. It's their motto.

Friends of Fone: We handle things.You shouldn't have to though. It's my problem and confrontations always lead to more people being mad at each other. Plus, the biggest thing about "little comments" is that when they are made they are only cutting to the person they are directed towards and never even blip on anyone else's radar. You CAN'T stick up for me if you don't know the things that are causing me pain


Dear Foner,

Knock it off! If you're doing something wrong, Gwen will tell you. That's her job. If anyone else has anything to say, they can "stick it". Tell them I said so.

As for your real life mother, no one can help you with that. Throughout nature, mothers have the ability to effortlessly destroy the emotional and psychological self of any of their children. There's no stopping it. You just have buy them nice things for Mother's Day and hope that you can some day please them. No one truly does. Yet in a way, we all do. It's one of those paradox things.

If you still can't help but feel down about yourself (and knowing you, you may not be able to) then remember what I said to tell anyone that doesn't like you. "Stick it."

Sincerely,
Stewie Good advice. You are definately one of the people I would still create a birthday thread for.:)





Fone most of us really care a great deal about you..You are not a looser, in fact your insites into certain aspects of TV, and many aspects of our TZ, is to be admired and looked up to..
..Sure, not all will agree with, with you or any of us...It is natural..
..But you are a fine person, sensitive, and intelligent..One of the best.
..Don't you forget that you are wanted and part of our community..You post intelligently in many forums, and are as much a part of us. as is anyone
. And your courage, and honesty could be emulated by us all.
Stuart Thanks Stuart, I know this and it is the reason I couldn't stay away. It doesn't stop the hurt but knowing I have friends like you is very helpful. The problem is in my nature it is easier to believe the bad things about myself and harder to accept the good things.



Nobody's noticed this yet.......queen?

Was this subconscious or something?

Anyway.....everyone gets upset from time to time, and usually Fone is the first around here to comfort the upset. For this reason and several others, Fone is kind of hard to hate. I haven't seen anyone tear into him, at least here. He's also one of the most popular users. I know nothing of his problems at home, but there was no reason to "lurk." America loves Fone.:gir: This is really appreciated.


I'll have to admit though that some things Fone Bone openly admits are a little disturbing to the average male humanoid. If you want MORE respect, in more areas of life, then, well, I'd stop bragging about how many plushies I own, buddy. It's not that I want respect, I want to be appreciated for who I am. And my plushie collection is a huge part of who I am so I'm not going to be hiding that anytime soon.


Hey, I like a guy who can admit to owning plushies. =( What she said. Ladies think the sensitive guy are HOT!:p ;)



If your self confidence has been shot to hell a few rude words can knock you off your feet.
And if the people you should be able to rely on the most are being part of the problem, well I don't know, sometimes they have their own problems or are gone completely.

So, maybe you do have your own self esteem problem, but at the same time you've been a positive force around here and are always building people up.
You should feel good about that.
And you don't have to take the kind of grief you're talking about. I just wanted to let everyone know that Aquadementia has been helping me a great deal these past few weeks in dealing with a lot of this stuff. It is greatly appreciated that he has done so and I wanted to let folks know that it's because of him that I'm not a COMPLETE mess.



Fone, you're a great guy, pelase don't do this...I can definately hear ya on some things. I mean, I have Depression, and I can take things pretty hard...I know how it feels, and I'm here for you. I care for you like family, and my love is eternal. Whatever form it takes, it is.

Never forget there are people who will always truly care for you, and i wish I could display this more. besides, you are cute, at least to me. I mean, you love plushies, that's a cuddly aspact!

Oh, if respect has to do entirely with being a "man", instead of following your heart and love and things..then i wouldn't want any. True respect is gained for being who you are inside, not some general set of "guidellines"

*Hugs Fone* Wisdom, thy name is Kuja's Light.:anime:



People used to tell me to cut my hands off because I kept drawing kids with big eyes, and you know what? I JUST KEPT MAKING THOSE EYES BIGGER I don't have the stones to do that.:D

[Conekiller]

Fone, I know we might have had a spat or two, but really, don't take it personally (so you don't like transformers, so what :p ) I love reading your well thought out posts and jovial sence of humor. If people can't see this aspect of you, THEY are the ones who have the problem

you should never have to conform and alter yourself to "fit in" if there are people here who don't like youm too bad for them! There are plenty of other posters who have far greater and larger personality and communication issues than you. Don't let that get you down.

(although that love for Elmo is something I recomend you keep to yor self a bit more often ^__- ):anime::D:p;):cool::zim:

[solarflere]

You shouldn't have to though. It's my problem and confrontations always lead to more people being mad at each other. Plus, the biggest thing about "little comments" is that when they are made they are only cutting to the person they are directed towards and never even blip on anyone else's radar. You CAN'T stick up for me if you don't know the things that are causing me pain Good advice. Which is exactly why you need your friends, they are your support system. And friends help each other in the time of need. And if you feel the need to open up to us on an individual level, (I have an email server that has 2.6Gb available, plus my cellphone has email as well :anime: ) as Friends of Fone, we are here to listen. You should let your friends help you, don't go through life alone. It seems that you reject help because people will not understand what you are going through. You never know untill you try. We all have our demons that we confront everyday, you are not alone. Heck, I declared your Birthday a holiday remember?;) So deactivate your defensive mode and talk to us. Besides, ranting every now and then never hurt anybody. People need to vent, its human nature.

[Czar Gato]

If it makes you feel any better, Fone, I love ya no matter what other people might say. *hugs*

Ooh, and do tell where I can find this LJ of yours so I can friend you to mine. :)

[Eibhlin]

I have to echo the comments by the all others, Fone Bone.

I have lurked here for a while, and I have never seen or more accurately read anything by you that I would take as you being insulting or a completely unlikeable person. Quite the contrary, to tell the truth. You have always been one of the more thoughtful and intelligent members on this board, and as such I always find it a pleasure to read whatever you have posted.

But not today. That you let people's whining over a missed birthday thread get you down and make you feel like you aren't the person that we all here at Toon Zone know you are, angers me.

So what if you haven't posted a birthday thread for everyone and anyone? Honestly, do you know all these people who have joined Toon Zone personally, do they know you? It's pretty impossible to know us all and you should not feel responsible for such a trivial thing as to whether or not people have gotten a Happy Birthday thread from you. Just because you may have forgotten one here or there does not make you a bad person. Not at all.

You are a good person, a likable person. You are not a monster, nor are you a damned computer that spits out token birthday greetings to all and sundry.

Don't let them do this to you, Fone Bone. You do not deserve it.

[Fone Bone]

I have to echo the comments by the all others, Fone Bone.

I have lurked here for a while, and I have never seen or more accurately read anything by you that I would take as you being insulting or a completely unlikeable person. Quite the contrary, to tell the truth. You have always been one of the more thoughtful and intelligent members on this board, and as such I always find it a pleasure to read whatever you have posted.

But not today. That you let people's whining over a missed birthday thread get you down and make you feel like you aren't the person that we all here at Toon Zone know you are, angers me.

So what if you haven't posted a birthday thread for everyone and anyone? Honestly, do you know all these people who have joined Toon Zone personally, do they know you? It's pretty impossible to know us all and you should not feel responsible for such a trivial thing as to whether or not people have gotten a Happy Birthday thread from you. Just because you may have forgotten one here or there does not make you a bad person. Not at all.

You are a good person, a likable person. You are not a monster, nor are you a damned computer that spits out token birthday greetings to all and sundry.

Don't let them do this to you, Fone Bone. You do not deserve it.It isn't that I missed any threads. It's just some snide comments I've noticed about the general uselessness of the threads AND some other stuff that I refuse to get into. I talked to Merlin Missy and I feel a little bit better now, in no small small part thanks to you guys.



Fone, I know we might have had a spat or two, but really, don't take it personally (so you don't like transformers, so what :p ) I love reading your well thought out posts and jovial sence of humor. If people can't see this aspect of you, THEY are the ones who have the problem

you should never have to conform and alter yourself to "fit in" if there are people here who don't like youm too bad for them! There are plenty of other posters who have far greater and larger personality and communication issues than you. Don't let that get you down.Thank you.

(although that love for Elmo is something I recomend you keep to yor self a bit more often ^__- ):anime::D:p;):cool::zim:That ain't gonna happen.:p


If it makes you feel any better, Fone, I love ya no matter what other people might say. *hugs*

Ooh, and do tell where I can find this LJ of yours so I can friend you to mine. :) Check your PM box.:)



Which is exactly why you need your friends, they are your support system. And friends help each other in the time of need. And if you feel the need to open up to us on an individual level, (I have an email server that has 2.6Gb available, plus my cellphone has email as well :anime: ) as Friends of Fone, we are here to listen. You should let your friends help you, don't go through life alone. It seems that you reject help because people will not understand what you are going through. You never know untill you try. We all have our demons that we confront everyday, you are not alone. Heck, I declared your Birthday a holiday remember?;) So deactivate your defensive mode and talk to us. Besides, ranting every now and then never hurt anybody. People need to vent, its human nature. This is very true. I don't want to do it over the boards in general though so I might have to resort to PMs. Thanks for having my back.

[Rurouni Kenshin]

I'm going to be honest, I really don't know you all that well. However, one of the things I take pride in is my judge of character, and by no means are you a jerk, or a loser, or any of those things that you claimed to be in your post. When you mention how you can get hurt over little comments that people make, thats nothing to be ashamed over. If someone makes a mean comment its only natural to be angry or hurt over what they said. However try not to dwell on it. If they don't like you, try to consider there loss and move on with you life.

Now this is something I actually address to all of you. As Fone Bone as shown, our actions can affect people in ways you never imagined. Try to be careful what you say to others because even the "little comments" as Fone Bone put it so well can have major effects on people that you would not even begin to imagine.

[mikestorm]

Fone, to be honest, I don't think I've ever addressed you directly, but for the record, I loved your birthday threads. Every day I'd log in and see one or two in the cafe.

At first, I was all like, "Oh, okay, Fone is the official birthday guy." but then I quickly figured out you weren't doing it because it was your job; you were doing it because you wanted to, and you liked to. You were also very dilligent.

I will admit that when I turned 30 this past June, one of the things I subconciously looked forward to was a thread in my honor. I was semi-confident I'd get one too, started by you. I don't live near my family and don't have a whole lot of friends where I moved to, so TZ was one of the few places where I hoped my "big 3-0" would be celebrated. Even though you don't know me from a hole in the wall, you did not let me down:

http://forums.toonzone.net/showthread.php?t=143253&highlight=mikestorm


Not many guy's heads are wired that way, or girl's for that matter. You never miss an opportunity to acknowledge your fellow TZer, and are one of the most positive people I've ever come across here. That quality is one that not many of us on this site can claim (in fact, as far as I can tell, it's just you and Matt Wilson). If people have issues with the B-day threads, forget them. If you like to do them, then do them, but please don't feel obligated to.

In the whole spectrum of internet forums, I've always appreciated Toon Zone for its posters ability to be themselves, without being persecuted or even feeling self conscious. Please don't censor yoursef.

[Fone Bone]

Fone, to be honest, I don't think I've ever addressed you directly, but for the record, I loved your birthday threads. Every day I'd log in and see one or two in the cafe.

At first, I was all like, "Oh, okay, Fone is the official birthday guy." but then I quickly figured out you weren't doing it because it was your job; you were doing it because you wanted to, and you liked to. You were also very dilligent.

I will admit that when I turned 30 this past June, one of the things I subconciously looked forward to was a thread in my honor. I was semi-confident I'd get one too, started by you. I don't live near my family and don't have a whole lot of friends where I moved to, so TZ was one of the few places where I hoped my "big 3-0" would be celebrated. Even though you don't know me from a hole in the wall, you did not let me down:

http://forums.toonzone.net/showthread.php?t=143253&highlight=mikestorm


Not many guy's heads are wired that way, or girl's for that matter. You never miss an opportunity to acknowledge your fellow TZer, and are one of the most positive people I've ever come across here. That quality is one that not many of us on this site can claim (in fact, as far as I can tell, it's just you and Matt Wilson). If people have issues with the B-day threads, forget them. If you like to do them, then do them, but please don't feel obligated to.

In the whole spectrum of internet forums, I've always appreciated Toon Zone for its posters ability to be themselves, without being persecuted or even feeling self conscious. Please don't censor yoursef.I think I'll start doing birthday threads again if that's okay with you guys.. My biggest regret is that since I took over a week off there are probably a bunch of people who didn't get them that should have.



I'm going to be honest, I really don't know you all that well. However, one of the things I take pride in is my judge of character, and by no means are you a jerk, or a loser, or any of those things that you claimed to be in your post. When you mention how you can get hurt over little comments that people make, thats nothing to be ashamed over. If someone makes a mean comment its only natural to be angry or hurt over what they said. However try not to dwell on it. If they don't like you, try to consider there loss and move on with you life.

Now this is something I actually address to all of you. As Fone Bone as shown, our actions can affect people in ways you never imagined. Try to be careful what you say to others because even the "little comments" as Fone Bone put it so well can have major effects on people that you would not even begin to imagine. I hope everybody reads this and thinks about it in general. I know I've been guilty of little comments in the past and I am glad that I've made sure to stop them a while ago. Thank you for saying that.

[Conekiller]

You never miss an opportunity to acknowledge your fellow TZer, and are one of the most positive people I've ever come across here. That quality is one that not many of us on this site can claim (in fact, as far as I can tell, it's just you and Matt Wilson).
*spittake* O_o


ON topic: It had slipped my mind about the birthday threads, and everything Mikestorm says about it is true. It's not somehting that has to be done, but the fact that it is, and largely by you, speaks volumes about your dedication and character. You are a good friend Fone, and we do appreciate the effort you put into the TZ community.

[Chad Bonin]

I think I'll start doing birthday threads again if that's okay with you guys.. My biggest regret is that since I took over a week off there are probably a bunch of people who didn't get them that should have.Fone, do you do them because people sincerely deserve them from you?

I look at birthdays on TZ like I do in real life. If I would get them a card, I would send them a PM. If I would host a party for them, I would start a thread.

[Kury Wagner]

I can't say anything that hasn't been said, really. You're beloved around TZ, and that should count for something. Forget the fact that TZ is a message board, because I think that's an idiotic argument. In some ways, we actually know each other more than off-line friends do because it's easier to open up when you're not face-to-face. You're an extremely nice guy and an important member, no matter what conceited people might say.
If I would get them a card, I would send them a PM. If I would host a party for them, I would start a thread.Dude, K5, not helping by constantly saying this. You repeating that is more annoying than having a few extra threads in the Cafe.

[90'sCartoonMan]

Everything in it is friends locked so there wouldn't be anything it in you would be able to read without joining live-journal.
Huh, I feel so excluded (kidding). I also tried joining the Friends of Fone, but when I put my iron-on logoed FoF T-shirt in the wash, the logo got messed up, and I got kicked out.

In all seriousness, I wish you wouldn't take the birthday threads as a personal attack. Could've happened to anyone, you just had the unfortunate luck of being cursed with a big heart.

[Conekiller]

Fone, do you do them because people sincerely deserve them from you?

I look at birthdays on TZ like I do in real life. If I would get them a card, I would send them a PM. If I would host a party for them, I would start a thread.
I think it's more of a "do unto others as you'd wish them to do unto you" mentality. Fone wopuld like to be remembered on his special day (well, this year he didn't ^__^ ) so he makes it a point to single people out ang give them a thread dedicated to them bieng alive. That's admirable. So tough nuggies if it clogs Cafe with threads of wuv!

[Temple Fugate]

I can't say anything that hasn't been said, really. You're beloved around TZ, and that should count for something. Forget the fact that TZ is a message board, because I think that's an idiotic argument. In some ways, we actually know each other more than off-line friends do because it's easier to open up when you're not face-to-face. You're an extremely nice guy and an important member, no matter what conceited people might say.Totally. I didn't start paying much attention to the Cafe until just a few weeks ago, but after seeing these birthday threads I searched and found that Fone Bone had done one for me last March. So what if it was just a thread on an internet message board with birthday wishes from people who never met me in real life? It still really touched me. Even moreso than a birthday card from a relative would touch me, because when you're related to someone, you're practically obligated to send them a card. Fone had no such obligation, but he still sent his birthday wishes to me and to dozens of others. If that's not a sign of good character, I don't know what is.

[Fone Bone]

I can't say anything that hasn't been said, really. You're beloved around TZ, and that should count for something. Forget the fact that TZ is a message board, because I think that's an idiotic argument. In some ways, we actually know each other more than off-line friends do because it's easier to open up when you're not face-to-face. You're an extremely nice guy and an important member, no matter what conceited people might say.
Thank you Kury. That means a lot coming from you.




Huh, I feel so excluded (kidding). I also tried joining the Friends of Fone, but when I put my iron-on logoed FoF T-shirt in the wash, the logo got messed up, and I got kicked out.



In all seriousness, I wish you wouldn't take the birthday threads as a personal attack. Could've happened to anyone, you just had the unfortunate luck of being cursed with a big heart. You COULD join live-journal and friend me. I'd love to read a blog by you anyways.




I think it's more of a "do unto others as you'd wish them to do unto you" mentality. Fone wopuld like to be remembered on his special day (well, this year he didn't ^__^ ) so he makes it a point to single people out ang give them a thread dedicated to them bieng alive. That's admirable. So tough nuggies if it clogs Cafe with threads of wuv! I think that's probably it. It meant a great deal to me so I thought it would mean a lot to other people too.


Totally. I didn't start paying much attention to the Cafe until just a few weeks ago, but after seeing these birthday threads I searched and found that Fone Bone had done one for me last March. So what if it was just a thread on an internet message board with birthday wishes from people who never met me in real life? It still really touched me. Even moreso than a birthday card from a relative would touch me, because when you're related to someone, you're practically obligated to send them a card. Fone had no such obligation, but he still sent his birthday wishes to me and to dozens of others. If that's not a sign of good character, I don't know what is. I am SO glad you saw that thread! I've always like your posts and felt it was the least I could do for you.

[Kaner]

Word up! Temple is a good guy and so are you. No worries though buddy! Ya got lots of folks that care about ya. I know I do.

If someone starts talkin' smack ya just gotta be like a duck. Just let that hate roll right off ya.

Now get yer ass over to the Veronica Mars thread cause Ace has been slackin' off and not updating.

-Jerk "I've always got your back" Box

[Stewie]

Huh, I feel so excluded (kidding). I also tried joining the Friends of Fone, but when I put my iron-on logoed FoF T-shirt in the wash, the logo got messed up, and I got kicked out.Your shirt got messed up? Bummer. I'll send you one of the official ones. They're all XX-Large.

[guinaevere]

If you're doing something wrong, Gwen will tell you. That's her job. If anyone else has anything to say, they can "stick it". [raises hand]TEACHER!!! Stewie's being silly again!!![/lowers hand]

[LightShadow1890]

I love my mom, I really do. But growing up with her has REALLY tuned up my comment radar. My mom used to say nasty things to me but I've made peace with that. That is my Mom being my Mom. There is something I won't ever fully get over though. My Mom had mastered the art of saying little comments that cut through my self-esteem more than any time I've been called a bastard.

I have Aspergers as I blathered on numerous times but the funny thing is that my bs detector is pretty strong for someone whose diagnosis means they supposedly can't read social cues. I can tell a "comment" that may supposed to be harmless to anyone else is supposed to be deeply hurtful and cutting to me. The worst part of it is how humiliating it is for me when said comments are done in the vicinity of people I don't know very well and don't understand how hurtful what is being said is and I have to sit there pretending I'm fine when I'm feeling deeply ashamed and embarrased. The comment may seem a little "odd" to the stranger but taken out of context they have no idea how hurtful is is. My Dad has to put up with this anytime people visit or he goes out in public.

This phenomenon isn't limited to my family however. I at one point had believed my mother invented this type of manipulation but I'm starting to see it on-line as well. I'm posting this in my blog and wherever else I frequent to let you guys know that I understand: I'm a loser. I'm not funny. I'm not cute and I am unbearable to be around. Message received. I have been totally lurking here and on all of the other sites I visit and it has not stopped. I suppose I should stop posting on-line but I've actually made a few close friends and the idea of not being able to talk to them is more difficult for me than any of the crap I may have to endure.

I know I'm being a drama queen but I've made peace with the fact that I overreact to every little thing but I just wanted to let people know that I now realize what a completely horrible person I am and I would like to ask them to stop telling me by way of little comments. I get it.

Look, Fone Bone, to be honest, I like your posts. You're a very thoughful poster, and even if your posts are long, I read them word by word. Even though we may not share the same ideas...you're a good guy.

But when I first read this thread...WTF?

Fone, you're not going to be friends with everyone on the Internet. The world doesn't work that way. I mean, yeah, the world would be better if we were all just friends, but it never turned out that way. God didn't design the world like that. But...

But don't give in to those who say you're a loser, who say you're not funny. BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT. LOOK at how many people posted here in this thread! They all stick up for you and support you! I've been though this degradation when I was young, and unlike the Internet, you can't escape it in real life. You have all this support to back you up. I never had this support when facing what I had to face. You've got friends here, and you've got friends out in the real world. You're not a loser. Don't give in and don't agree, because you'll probably make yourself even worse. Fight it. Stand up for yourself, because their words are meaningless. If anyone watches Teen Titans, I think this quote should ring a bell:

There is nothing you could've done. There will always be people who say mean words because you are different. And sometimes their minds cannot be changed. But there are many more people who do not judge others based on how they look or where they are from. Those are the people whose words truly matter
Listen to the people who care Fone. Don't listen to the people who insult you daily. Based on this thread, there's a lot of people who care for you. Listen to them. Heed their advice. Just stand up for yourself and don't let their comments pull you down.

I know. I'm very notorious for overreactions as well,my fellow Aspie. This fashion designer came to my school one day and make this comment that I took as an insult. It was about judging people by their clothes (She said bs like all people who wear orange are outgoing extroverts,all people who wear grey are emo and cut themselves,etc). She returned but to a different class of mine. I remembered her face and got really upset. I threw a big fit and embarassed her in front of the whole class by yelling that she's full of it and they shouldn't listen to her. I stormed out of the room to cool down. I didn't get a referral but I had to have a chat with my aide.
Hey, I would have done the same thing. At least you weren't scared and were open with it.

Fone, I'll tell you again: stand up for yourself. I know you want them to stop Fone, but ignore it. Giving in just gives them more ground. Fight it, and don't let their comments hurt you.

[Fone Bone]

Look, Fone Bone, to be honest, I like your posts. You're a very thoughful poster, and even if your posts are long, I read them word by word. Even though we may not share the same ideas...you're a good guy. Thank you. That makes me feel better.

But when I first read this thread...WTF?

Fone, you're not going to be friends with everyone on the Internet. The world doesn't work that way. I mean, yeah, the world would be better if we were all just friends, but it never turned out that way. God didn't design the world like that. But...It's hard but because of my Aspergers I really want to be liked because I am always afriad I am upsetting someone. I've tried to be very careful about what I said but it didn't really help.

But don't give in to those who say you're a loser, who say you're not funny. BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT. LOOK at how many people posted here in this thread! They all stick up for you and support you! I've been though this degradation when I was young, and unlike the Internet, you can't escape it in real life. You have all this support to back you up. I never had this support when facing what I had to face. You've got friends here, and you've got friends out in the real world. You're not a loser. Don't give in and don't agree, because you'll probably make yourself even worse. Fight it. Stand up for yourself, because their words are meaningless. If anyone watches Teen Titans, I think this quote should ring a bell:


Listen to the people who care Fone. Don't listen to the people who insult you daily. Based on this thread, there's a lot of people who care for you. Listen to them. Heed their advice. Just stand up for yourself and don't let their comments pull you down.


Hey, I would have done the same thing. At least you weren't scared and were open with it.

Fone, I'll tell you again: stand up for yourself. I know you want them to stop Fone, but ignore it. Giving in just gives them more ground. Fight it, and don't let their comments hurt you.I'm afraid to stand up for myself. It's hard and scary and I don't want to upset anyone. There was a comment a week ago that REALLY hurt my feelings that said a post of mine was unfunny and painful to read and I still dwell on it and it makes me sad. I don't know if people realize that for some people, other people's words on the net have power. I should probably not worry about it and stick up for myself more but I can't help feeling that I'm always doing something wrong.

Word up! Temple is a good guy and so are you. No worries though buddy! Ya got lots of folks that care about ya. I know I do.

If someone starts talkin' smack ya just gotta be like a duck. Just let that hate roll right off ya.

Now get yer ass over to the Veronica Mars thread cause Ace has been slackin' off and not updating.

-Jerk "I've always got your back" Box That makes me feel better too. Honestly I am very touched by all of the support I've gotten in this thread. I also would like to thank the people who let me know privately that I'm not a bad person.




[raises hand]TEACHER!!! Stewie's being silly again!!![/lowers hand] Except that it's true so I think you should let it slide.



Your shirt got messed up? Bummer. I'll send you one of the official ones. They're all XX-Large. That reminds me. I have to see my doctor tomorrow and get a weigh-in. The last time I was there I weighed over 350 pounds so I couldn't get an actual weight number from the scale he had. I've lost a lot of weight since then and I hope it's enough so that I can tell how much I actually weigh.

I'll try to post a picture of myself in the photo album once I've lost enough weight.

[guinaevere]

I don't know if people realize that for some people, other people's words on the net have power. I should probably not worry about it and stick up for myself more but I can't help feeling that I'm always doing something wrong. Yeah you should. But there's a difference between shoulds and what we're ready and capable of doing. I'm not trying to make excuses for ya, Matt. Excuses do nothing positive for a person, trust me I know.

But my Mom has very similar issues, partly owing to her adoptive father and the environment in which she was raised and partly because that's just how she was created. She turned 60 this year, and she's still growing. And it takes a lot for her not just to stand up for herself, but to acknowledge, "what that guy just said... it may NOT be true... this may NOT be my fault." Not a perfect example, but I hope y'all understand.

It's like a record that repeats in the head, only you don't necessarily hear the words "you stink." You just feel and/or accept that message.

I've lost a lot of weight since then and I hope it's enough so that I can tell how much I actually weigh. Awesome! Keep up the hard work. Even if you don't see a difference, it's worth it to your heart alone to keep at it. =D

I'll try to post a picture of myself in the photo album once I've lost enough weight.Looking forward to it!

[Temple Fugate]

It's hard but because of my Aspergers I really want to be liked because I am always afriad I am upsetting someone. I've tried to be very careful about what I said but it didn't really help. [...] I'm afraid to stand up for myself. It's hard and scary and I don't want to upset anyone. There was a comment a week ago that REALLY hurt my feelings that said a post of mine was unfunny and painful to read and I still dwell on it and it makes me sad. I don't know if people realize that for some people, other people's words on the net have power. I should probably not worry about it and stick up for myself more but I can't help feeling that I'm always doing something wrong.(It's 3:30am and I'm a tad groggy, so if this doesn't make much sense I appologize. I had to get it out while it was still fresh in my head.) It's difficult thinking that somewhere there is somebody who either hates you or was hurt by something you've said or done. It's like this knot that's twisting tighter and tighter in your heart. Every so often I'll remember some bone-headed (no pun intended), insensitive, jerkish thing I did from years ago that probably embarrassed or enraged someone and I'll literally need to pound my fist on the nearest surface because I feel so frustrated that I can't go back and change what happened. But the sad fact is that we all do stupid things. Even if we were to carefully plan what we say, no one can control or predict how others will react, and sometimes we won't even know that what we say is regarded negatively by someone. We can't make everyone happy all the time, and therefore must settle for making most people happy most of the time. If we're lucky to even do that much. The point is, keep trying as hard as you can to be as good as you can. Just remember that none of us are infaliable, and we'd only be lying to ourselves if we thought we could do everything perfect and make everyone happy.

Everyone has to live with a certain amount of shame and regret. That's one of the things we must suffer in life. But if it's any consolation, "what goes around comes around." The next time someone upsets you, think maybe it's revenge from one of the times you made someone upset. Another strange cycle of life.

I know what you mean about worrying about sticking up for yourself. Often I hold a priority for the satisfaction of others over my own. For example, if someone from another room is blaring loud music, I won't ask him to turn it down. If I'm the one playing music I'll keep it very low to make sure none of the other rooms will be bothered. I even accept food at a restaurant if it's not what I ordered because I don't want to bother the staff and cause the cook more work. This could demonstrate a drawback to being a nice person, but a lot of life is give-and-take.

None of us can say "don't let small things like this get to you," or "just forget about it." I wish we had switches that could turn our worries off. But just looking at the responses to this thread you know that there are dozens, if not hundreds of people somewhere in this world that like you, appreciate you, and want to help ease your frustration.