Lord Of The Things: The League of The Thing.

[The Guard]

JANUARY 2002.

[Naraht]

Originally posted by The Guard
JANUARY 2002.

Wha?

[The Guard]

I got bored.



A dark screen. Ominous music begins to play

GRUFF MALE VOICE: "The battle between Heaven and Hell has waged eternal...what the...well...you were late! Hey! Hey what are you-Nooo!"

Something thumps, and we hear...

FEMALE VOICE: "The world is changing...I can feel it in the air. There is the whisper of a nameless fear...a...a nameless...who wrote this?"

A picture of a ring being molded appears.

"Oh yes, the Power Rings."

Seven small blue men in robes.

"One hundred and fifteen were given to The Guardians."

Five teenagers.

"Five were given to some environmentally concerned teenagers..."

A boy and a girl stand there in purple jumpsuits..."

"Two were given to twins..."

FADE TO-

A firy volcano.

"But in the darkness of Mount Death, a new evil had emerged."

A dark cavern. Flame spews from the floor. A demon is standing there, laughing.

"The evil Lord Sorrow, forged a ring of his own, with the power to enslave the others..."

SORROW: "With this ring, I can finally destroy the Power Rangers!"

The music fades.

HUGE BATTLE SCENE.

We see Gungans and battle droids as well as the Scorpion King's army, and Waldo.

"Darkness spread across the lands...until one group of survivors, made a final, desperate attack."

Green Martians race toward Lord Sorrow's forces, throwing gas grenades.

"But they were no match for the power of the ring..."

Lord Sorrow swings an axe and all the Martians fall over dead.

"Robitussin, the King of Men...got lucky."

Lord Sorrow trips and falls, the ring coming off, it rolls away.

"And the ring, abanded Lord Sorrow..."

The ring rolls out of the battle, and down a hill.

Strains of Limp Bizkit's "Rollin'" start to play as the ring rolls around a bend.

The ring stops. A small green hand reaches down, and picks it up...

"It was found by the most unlikely of person's...a Kermit."

The hand slips the ring on...

"But the ring was treacherous. It's time had come..."

WILL FERREL

KERMIT THE FROG

SEAN CONNERY

OLIVER QUEEN

JENNIFER LOPEZ

THE LORD OF THE THINGS

JANUARY 2002