Where do you go to have fun and meet people?

[Style]

I'm wondering what people do on the weekends. Because, I realized I'm not being social enough, and am trying to figure out where to go to have fun and stuff. I don't know. The bars just don't seem to be my scene. I just find the smell of alcohol repugnant. But, I get the sense that's where most people my age are hanging out on Saturday night, so...

At the other end of the spectrum, I've been thinking about going to church again, but that classically doesn't work out because Sunday's are the only time I get to see my dad. So, well, I start to feel a little stuck.

But what do you guys do?

[solarflere]

For me it’s hard to meet people like at the movies or bars and clubs. I mostly meet people in college. Then I go with them to movies bars and clubs. College is the ultimate socializing place for me.

[Style]

For me it’s hard to meet people like at the movies or bars and clubs. I mostly meet people in college. Then I go with them to movies bars and clubs. College is the ultimate socializing place for me. Yeah, I really oughta learn how to meet people better once I'm back in college this fall. I've only got two years left of it now any way. (as an undergrad. Since I'm probably going to grad school, I'll be in college for years and years...)

[Kurtman]

I pretty much isolate in my room all day playing on my Computer,Playstation 1 and Sega Genesis and occasionally go out to the kitchen to eat. Sometimes I go to the store but I hardly ever hang out with other teens my age. I do have quite the social anxiety..........

[Pupmon 4.0]

As far as the weekends are concerned,I usually stay home.
Although,last year I used to go to a Christian nightclub whenever they were
featureing a music group that I liked.Unfourtunately,the club closed down due
to insufficient funds.:sad: That's the problem with profit organizations.


Usually,when I would like to go somewhere to enjoy myself,
I tend to go to a pet store,a bookstore,or the local Humane Society.

[One Radical Dude]

I'm wondering what people do on the weekends. Because, I realized I'm not being social enough, and am trying to figure out where to go to have fun and stuff. I don't know. The bars just don't seem to be my scene. I just find the smell of alcohol repugnant. But, I get the sense that's where most people my age are hanging out on Saturday night, so...

At the other end of the spectrum, I've been thinking about going to church again, but that classically doesn't work out because Sunday's are the only time I get to see my dad. So, well, I start to feel a little stuck.

But what do you guys do?
I really don't do much. I may go to one of those festivals, see a movie, or maybe a concert, but I don't do bars or going to parties. I'm not into the drugs, alcohol, etc. Most of the time, I'm at home. I may occasionally go to some retail stores to look or get something I need.

[Eddie G.]

Just try to be active and aware of cool people around you. Try to go to concerts and plays often, those are nice places to meet people. If you're still in school (You're twenty one according to your profile) then I'd try joining some clubs or things like that. Also if there's anyone at work (if you work) that you think is kind of cool you might want to ask them if they'd like some lunch after work.

Just follow some rules...
Don't be shy.
Always be friendly.
Never be too self-deprecating.

[kiddiesunshine]

It can be hard for me to meet decent people, but I find that it's easiest for me in college. Whether I'm in a class or in the recreation center playing DDR, I can strike up a good conversation with anybody and take it from there.

[Shnay]

Just follow some rules...
Don't be shy.
Always be friendly.
Never be too self-deprecating.While the second rule may be easy enough, the first and third can prove much more difficult for some people. There are many people that have at least some problems in social situations (perhaps even a majority of people), but for some they can be quite severe. There are many for whom the advice "don't be shy" just isn't enough, as they've been trying to overcome their shyness for years. Even for those without problems like social anxiety disorder, shyness and excessive self-criticism can be problems that take years and years to fully get control of.

I suspect you know this, Eddie, and were just giving some basic pointers to Style 92. And, for many people, they're good things to keep in mind. I just wanted to add that those who feel they've already tried to follow these rules and had a really hard time with them are not alone.

[TimTwoFace]

Internet aside, most of my buddies have been made through school or work. I can't meet new people at bars or something - it's just not me. However, networking through friends OF your friends is always a good way to meet new people that share common interests.

-Tim

[Eddie G.]

While the second rule may be easy enough, the first and third can prove much more difficult for some people. There are many people that have at least some problems in social situations (perhaps even a majority of people), but for some they can be quite severe. There are many for whom the advice "don't be shy" just isn't enough, as they've been trying to overcome their shyness for years. Even for those without problems like social anxiety disorder, shyness and excessive self-criticism can be problems that take years and years to fully get control of.

I suspect you know this, Eddie, and were just giving some basic pointers to Style 92. And, for many people, they're good things to keep in mind. I just wanted to add that those who feel they've already tried to follow these rules and had a really hard time with them are not alone.I understand what you're saying in full and am in fact one of those people that you're speaking out for. The truth is that I've never had an easy time fitting in and suffered from horrible depression. Like you said I had on multiple occasions made real attempts to try to fit in and failed at it to fall into worse depressions.

It wasn't until recently when I had basically hit rock bottom and knew that if these problems were to go on any further I was going to lose some of the dreams and prospects for my future that I decided to just kick myself in the ass and started following rules like don't be shy or self-deprecating (I actually have a much more long and complicated list of things that I do to not fall into my old problems). I've been very strict with myself, forcing myself to logically think out paranoid and jealous thoughts, making myself talk even when I wasn't comfortable (Usually I would end up very comfortable), and so on. One of my biggest rules is something I stole from Weight Watchers, that even if I break one of my rules I still try to follow them in the future.

Honestly it's worked for me. I've done better in school and have gained about six new friends in the last three or four months (which is kind of sad since my last day of high school is next week). I'm also a lot nicer and more productive and my life at home has improved, I even helped my parents through a rough patch in their marriage. I'm also a lot more healthy going on long walks everyday and not eating junk food or drinking soda.

So, while my post might have made me sound overly idealistic and blind to some problems people have it really isn't. I do think you're right that it is easier said than done, my life up till a few months ago is evidence of that. You're also right that my come-on-be-happy approach to life isn't going to work for people with severe social situations. However I do think that setting up a strict set of social rules that should be followed can be helpful, if not very difficult, to creating productive social life. Of course outside sources like doctors and family should also be utilized if needed.

Thanks for forcing me to bring more clarity to my words.

[Natey]

Besides here and MSN groups i meet people at school and at my family reunions. It alwayys nice to meet ppl. Im not that social but afta awhile, i will be social

~Nate~

[90'sCartoonMan]

I'm wondering what people do on the weekends. Because, I realized I'm not being social enough, and am trying to figure out where to go to have fun and stuff. I don't know. The bars just don't seem to be my scene.
Unfortunately, that was my problem my first three years of college. All I did on weekends was stay in my room and write and watch old episodes of Buffy. I couldn't make any friends freshman year because all they wanted to do was drink and I was never into the party scene.

By senior year, I was luckily enough to have met a handful of people through work and people who lived in my dorm that I knew but never really talked to over the years.

I guess when you find a few people you're comfortable hanging out with, you can have fun with them doing anything - movies, bars (which I did enjoy once I became 21), the beach, or just going shopping with someone who wants to pick up a new DVD or whatever.

[Sailor Chibi Otaku]

I want to meet people but no one is willing to take me anywhere so I pretty much stay at home. My parents usually go to Wal-Mart on Saturdays so I go with them and head over to EB.

[Solitude1]

M-A-L-L

And yes I am a mallrat. All my friends hang their as well. My hangouts usually include Gamestop, Books a Million, Hot Topic, EB, and our Cyberstation arcade. DDR and Capcom VS SNK 2.....plus Pretzels.

Its win freaking win baby.;)

[Shnay]

Thanks for forcing me to bring more clarity to my words.I'm glad you did, as I think many people could really benefit from your story. As I said previously, I didn't think you were blind to the difficulties some have with social situations, but without knowing this addtional bit of personal information, it's hard to know how to take the admittedly simple advice you gave out.

If someone who has always been physically fit tells an overweight person, "Just go excersize and don't eat so much!" it might be hard for the overweight person to really get motivated, as they would feel that the advice isn't coming from a perspective they can relate to. However, if someone who once struggled with weight problems and then became healthy gave the same advice, it's likely to get that person motivated. Now that you've put the advice you gave out into a personal context, Eddie, I think there are a lot of people out there who could really benefit from it.

[Chris Wood]

Never be too self-deprecating.

It works for Conan O'Brian.

[solarflere]

Unfortunately, that was my problem my first three years of college. All I did on weekends was stay in my room and write and watch old episodes of Buffy. I couldn't make any friends freshman year because all they wanted to do was drink and I was never into the party scene.

By senior year, I was luckily enough to have met a handful of people through work and people who lived in my dorm that I knew but never really talked to over the years.

I guess when you find a few people you're comfortable hanging out with, you can have fun with them doing anything - movies, bars (which I did enjoy once I became 21), the beach, or just going shopping with someone who wants to pick up a new DVD or whatever. I had the same problem my first 2 years in high school. Then I decided to reevaluate my life. I became more social friendly and more active.

[purplehairedwonder]

Meh, I'm pretty anti-social. Weekends during the school year is usually me at home on my ass in front of the TV or computer. Weekends during the summer are spent playing softball (I find it ironic I'm not a people person, but I play team sports). I occassionally hang out with some friends at their/my house or go to a movie or something. But usually, I avoid people. I'm not unhappy that way. I'm just not much of a people person.

[Leaping Larry Jojo]

It works for Conan O'Brian.
Yeah, the third one is really more a matter of taste. Some people like it, some people don't. If that's who you are, then that's who you are.

[90'sCartoonMan]

Weekends during the summer are spent playing softball (I find it ironic I'm not a people person, but I play team sports). I occassionally hang out with some friends at their/my house or go to a movie or something. But usually, I avoid people. I'm not unhappy that way. I'm just not much of a people person.
Hm, I always thought being on a team turned you into a people person. I've seen it happen. Guess that means it doesn't happen to everyone.

So Style, it's Monday morning, what did you do over the weekend (I didn't do squat, it was too hot)?

[Leaping Larry Jojo]

Hm, I always thought being on a team turned you into a people person. I've seen it happen. Guess that means it doesn't happen to everyone.

For sure. Look at Kobe Bryant. ;)

[TeenTitansGO!]

I'm wondering what people do on the weekends. Because, I realized I'm not being social enough, and am trying to figure out where to go to have fun and stuff. I don't know. The bars just don't seem to be my scene. I just find the smell of alcohol repugnant. But, I get the sense that's where most people my age are hanging out on Saturday night, so...

At the other end of the spectrum, I've been thinking about going to church again, but that classically doesn't work out because Sunday's are the only time I get to see my dad. So, well, I start to feel a little stuck.

But what do you guys do?
I suggest church. Pretty cool stuff, and the people are there to meet! Most of my friends are at church.

[BrendaBat]

Depends on what you mean by "meet people". Are you interested in making new friends or getting dates?

I usually meet people through college. I share interests with them (epecially my classmates in the art courses) so its easy to break the ice. I also feel extra social when I go to places like comic conventions or arcades because I'm in my element and I know that no one will look at me funny if I stop them to talk about random 80s cartoons.

I think Church is good for getting dates because you know the people there share the same morals you do regarding relationship "activities". ;)

Origionally posted by Solitude1
M-A-L-L

And yes I am a mallrat. All my friends hang their as well. My hangouts usually include Gamestop, Books a Million, Hot Topic, EB, and our Cyberstation arcade. DDR and Capcom VS SNK 2.....plus Pretzels.I prefer using the mall as a hangout rather than actually meeting new people there. I don't like to bug people when they're trying to shop. :sweat:

[90'sCartoonMan]

For sure. Look at Kobe Bryant. ;)
Point VERY well taken :p