EDIT: Communities, Cliques, and other Social groupings

[Leaping Larry Jojo]

This is not a topic about "racism", but it touches upon the idea of racial discrimination, albeit indirectly.

To start off, as some of you know, I live in Canada. I consider it to be one of the most open places in the world when it comes to different races. There are very strict laws here concerning race-related crimes or racism in the workplace. For the most part, as a "minority", I feel quite safe and comfortable about how my country perceives my ethnic background.

However, this does not mean that minor forms of racial segregation do not exist within the society. This has nothing to do with how the country operates, obviously. They don't have much control over this phenomenon. In many major cities, ethnic communities occupy a certain part of the city. You have your Chinatown, Greektown, Harlem, etc. Now there's nothing wrong with this and this is pretty normal, right?

However, there are many ethnic communities which are very insular. Many people do not stray far from their communities, if at all. A Chinese woman may shop at Chinatown and ONLY at Chinatown, talk only with their predominantly Chinese neighbours and go to a Chinese-only doctor (I just described many of my relatives). Much of this is due to logical reason such as language barrier, comfort, etc. At least sometimes. Sometimes language is not a problem, and they simply have no interest in interacting with those outside their community.

Anyway, this example above is just a hypothetical scenario.

Let's apply this to something many people here are more familiar with--school. In my schools at least, students tend to gravitate towards like-minded students. Nerds to nerds, regular "unclassifiable" students to other "unclassifiable" students, jocks to jocks, etc. Moving further, blacks often sit at one area of the cafeteria, Asians in another, and your predominantly white jocks-cheerleaders in another. Those are the three main races in most schools. Sounds just like a high school movie cliche, right? Tell me if your school isn't like that.

I'm Asian, but I don't "hang" with only Asians per se. Part of it is they don't have much interest in me since I can mostly only speak english, as I was born in Canada. So I have very Western sensibilities. Another is that I don't *want* to be insular. I'm the last person to join a club devoted to my ethnicity (which is common in college). I don't have a personal belief in that kind of thing.

On the flip side, I generally work and interact within a white-dominant environment. Generally, I haven't faced much overt discrimination in my life--it's just not the Canadian way, at any rate. That said, there are times when I do feel awkward when I'm say, in a party, and I'm the only Asian there. And it's not just self-consciousness either. The people are nice for the most part...but more often than expected, I find that in those situations other people are more comfortable talking, or initiating a conversation with others of the same race. And I find, it's more just a kind of habit with many people rather than any purposeful attempt to "discriminate" per se.

Has anyone else here ever been in situations where they feel a sort of unintentional kind of discrimination? I hesitate to use that term, but in a way, it's like, people don't have anything against you, but would feel comfortable talking to someone ethnically "like them". And even when they interact with you, it's not with the same comfort level.

[sKorpia]

To try to address just a small portion of your post, I'm going to focus on the potential whys of how I choose exactly which stranger to talk to.

Most of the time, I think it's because I can be fairly certain of some common experience growing up. I'm sure that one of the first things Asian-American students bond over in college are Asian parent stories, Asian grandparent stories, having to go to Chinese/Japanese/Korean school on Saturdays, taking off your shoes when you enter a house, how every little girl and boy had the exact same haircut growing up at least once in their lifetimes, the piano/violin/some instrument lessons, Kumon, etc. It's a upbringing that provides a fairly common point of reference between two people who would otherwise be complete strangers. So . . . going into a new situation with those assumptions in mind (and I've met Asian-Americans who I later found were on both sides of the extreme, which means I truly was assuming at the beginning), I already have the sense that I kind of know the other person. That in turn makes me slightly more willing to be open and friendly since I have expectations or think I know what to expect. Now, it's not like I'll be seeking out any and all Asians in a crowd. If it's an Asian girl who looks like a trendoid, chances are I'm going to be less willing to talk to her because a trendoid's more likely to not be interested in what I'm interested in. In a choice between an Asian trendoid and a white girl wearing a Batman shirt, the white girl would win out. But if both a white girl and an Asian girl are wearing Batman shirts, then I think the edge goes to the Asian girl, cuz there're 2 topics of conversation instead of one.

Part of the reason why there's some level of "distance" between two ethnically different people comes from one person not wanting to offend the other person. At least that's something I've personally observed between Asian-white conversations. In the arena with strangers, if there are ethnic differences, I think most people would prefer not to make assumptions for fear of appearing offensive when they're really not.

Trust me, you're not the only one who's been thinking about race issues and race relations. It seems to get particularly prominent once people hit college though.

[Weatherman]

Can't comment directly on anything having to do with being of Asian descent, I'm northern European, but seeing this topic come up today makes for an interesting postsrcipt to a lecture I was at last night given by B.D. Wong. I took him until he was in his twenties to fully meld the "American" side of his personality and life with the more Aisan-oriented side of himself. Getting all the parts to mesh together as a cohesive whole took alot of self-examination for him, and alot of breaking down of internal barriers and internalized self-loathing.

[Fone Bone]

Wow, I would LOVE to live in Canada. There are a WHOLE bunch of racist people in Massachusetts and we are probably the most liberal state in the country. I don't see any real problems with gravitating towards people of your own race especially if it's a more unconcious behavior than an overt one. That DOES happen with similar groups of people and not just people of different color.

I don't hang out with too many people but my best friend is bi-racial. She treats me pretty crappy but I feel comfortable talking to her about pretty much anything. She's told me that she really hasn't had any problems with racism up north. She can go to a store and not be watched by the sales clerk or can walk down to street without getting any looks. However when she visited the South she told me it was horrible and that the people there were VERY racist. I doubt ALL of the people there are racist but we as a people tend to make generalizations about people based on our experiences and nothing more. She has a disdain for mid-western people because they can be very conservative but mostly speaking the people from the mid-west I've known were the friendliest people I've ever met (Canadians excepted of course!):D

I think it is important to remember that there are a whole bunch of different people out there but most of us want the same thing. We want to be loved and happy and accepted. That seems to me to be pretty universal.

[zmanjz]

I don't hang out with too many people but my best friend is bi-racial. She treats me pretty crappy but I feel comfortable talking to her about pretty much anything.
...


I really don't know what to say, but I found the syntax of that particular paragraph disturbing.

[Fone Bone]

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I really don't know what to say, but I found the syntax of that particular paragraph disturbing.I really don't have that many friends. I can't pick and choose who I talk to. She doesn't really ever call me and I have to make all of the work in the friendship but we've been friends for so long I don't really know what to do.

[sKorpia]

a lecture I was at last night given by B.D. Wong. I took him until he was in his twenties to fully meld the "American" side of his personality and life with the more Aisan-oriented side of himself. Getting all the parts to mesh together as a cohesive whole took alot of self-examination for him, and alot of breaking down of internal barriers and internalized self-loathing.
Where the heck was this?! I would have loved to hear B.D. Wong talk (and seen him in the first run of M. Butterfly but that'll have to wait for my time machine). I totally get where he's coming from though. I grew up with a romanticized notion of East/West and it wasn't until college, through my literature major, that I was finally able to see a world past that false binary. I don't think I'll ever completely get away from certain aspects of life that fall into the Chinese vs. American feeling but it's a lifelong excavation. Part of getting to that sense of cohesion is the process of investigating one's identity, and not just in racial or ethnic terms.

[True Noir]

I am Asian and I can see how you feel too. Sometimes I feel the same way. A LOT of my friends are Asians and the reason why is because I feel more comforable around them. I don't seem to feel an unintentional racism when I'm around them, but that doesn't keep me from not becoming friends with caucasion ethics. Still, my school is very white-dominant. 90% white, 5% Asian, 5% black. Sometimes I feel as though I'm the odd one out or a bit umcomftorable in the situation.

[Tenku]

I may not be Asian, but I know where this is coming from.

Even though my school is about 3/5s white, 1/5 hispanic (there's only a handful, but I make 'em count) and 1/5 black (that's where I call in). Sure, we always sit in one corner of the lunchroom, but eh... growing up with the military allows me to mingle with any group.

But, as for the group thing, the best example is band. Sure, I have White friends, but I'm more comfortable with my ethnicity. My band teacher kinda dislikes that, since every trip most of us (me too) pile on the very back of the bus (and it's just a handful of us, maybe 20-40)...

But when it comes to culture, I'm 'different' per se, and sometimes it makes me the odd one out.

Not sure if that made any sense, but whatever...

[Leaping Larry Jojo]

I understand the thread title change, mods, but the crux of my post was still about race relations, not so much about "cliques" (I'm not really interested in talking about the idea of "cool kids" and "geeks" here) and I do want the topic of race to be my main point here. But, exercise judgement as you see fit.

Also, to some people who responded here, I'm not necessarily asking just the Asians in here, but those who are of other so-called "ethnic minorities" as well. And even African-Americans I'd like to hear from.

I'd also welcome thoughts of alienation from a caucasian perspective--have you ever felt uncomfortable in a crowd full of say, Asians or blacks? Do you feel they treat you differently?

I tend to believe race relations is a comfort level rather than discrimination too, as I said in my first post. But it's interesting to note, that I never felt or noticed this kind of segregation at least until I was 10 years old. In Kindergarten, race was not as big an issue in my school. It wasn't, "the black kids there, the Asians over there, etc." The "crowds" were very mixed in ethnicity. But as we got older, more and more we gravitated towards like minded people, and in many cases, like minded ethnicities.

I think in some ways, someone who wants to communicate cross-ethnically sometimes has to work a little harder to break societal stereotypes. People say Hollywood still relies on racial stereotypes, which I tend to agree with, and I'm not just talking about my own race.

I've had a number of friends in my life who told me that at first, they thought I was just some stuffy computer geek. Then they laugh and say I'm the laziest and most sarcastic person they ever met (thanks, guys! :p ). And in the back of MY mind, the idea of the "computer nerd" is actually a very common stereotype of a typical Asian student (hell, even I sometimes associate many of my fellow Asians with this stereotype).

And I can't help but think, when I'm INITIALLY talking to some people, they're interacting with me with the idea that I'm some humourless computer nerd. Then I crack a dark joke, and they raise their eyebrows and then finally smile at me. But SOMETIMES (not all the time) I notice though, when people initially meet someone who is of their OWN race, they're much more comfortable and open--smiling and chatting away with each other just 30 seconds after they first meet. This is even the same with my race. Asians are more apprehensive talking to whites, but they're chatting away (sometimes very bluntly and rudely!) with other Asians, even those they don't know.

[True Noir]

Oh, I know! I find it funny how all Asians are supposed to be super-intelligent and gifted in smarts. Although, in my school, we do prove that stereotype right unintentionally. :sweat: True, it's so much easier going up to anothe Asian and just chatting away about random things. Still, there are way too many stereotypes out there and planted in the mind of the young.

[MahouShoujo13]

Well...you are kind of right. Before school starts (there's a period BEFORE class actually starts), I go to the cafeteria, and sit with people with my own ethnicity. Oh...almost forgot...I'm Asian as well. At lunch, I usually sit alone, since I can't really seem to find my friends, unless I see my Junior friends, and sit with them.

My upperclassmen friends (which make up the majority of my friends)...well, we are mixed. But the most dominant is white. We don't care, but it's because we like some things...like anime, video games, DDR, etc.

Well...I DID have faced racism in my life, in elementary and middle school...but that's because of the parents of the white dominated population of the school. Of couse I've even been alienated with most of the few other Asians in that school. Since I moved, it ALMOST ceased to exist. There are some racist people in my school.

[FinalDragoon]

I'd also welcome thoughts of alienation from a caucasian perspective--have you ever felt uncomfortable in a crowd full of say, Asians or blacks? Do you feel they treat you differently?
I think i'll chime in here. I grew up in a town wher being caucasian was the minority, i'm talking the middle of the desert in Arizona. In high school the racial population was pretty much as follows...

75% Mexican-American
15% African-American
5% Caucasian
5% Other

...As such there were few people I could socialize with based on racial background. Also I was the target of much racial discrimination while growing up, people would make fun of me for "being a white boy in a mexican town." and such. It discouraged me to think that i'm part of the racial majority of the country, yet i'm being treated similar to an African-American during segregation. I know it's a crude analogy, but that roughly describes most of my childhood.

I was always feeling out of place, and there was no way for me to talk about it outside of my parents, and this mostly lead to an 8 year long stint of depression and post traumatic stress disorder, and i'm still recovering to this day. The worst part about where I lived, no one would believe you, no one would side with you, no one would support you when you needed it. Why? Because I was in the minority.

So in conclusion, thank goodness for college :D

[Artimus Gigan]

From my experiance, I find the easiest way to cope with different ethenicities is not to group them. people seem to always draw lines on who's what backround, country of origin, etc. etc. etc. yet most of the classifications arn't correct. For example not all black people are African Americans, many have longstanding lineages in other countries that are in no ways related to afirca. And another point, not all African Americans are black either...heck Britan had a major influence in africa and thus many families ended up staying there for generations. Not to mention the term "African Americans" is pretty much an incorrect term anyways. It's really supposed to be American Africans that more or less applies, because IIRC the rules are this: The first term depicts the country you were born in, the second term is the country or countries your family originated. So there is a major difference. However some ethic backrounds just seem to get lumped togther even though the countries of origin were wide-spread, white people are prime examples of this. They have the generalized term "caucasian", which pretty much applies to anyone with white skin. However the cultures of lets say someone who family originated in France and Russia and currently live in America are both too diffrent to be the same. Yet that person will still be considered caucasian just on the exterior appearance.

So in the end, it's rather silly to the extent that people will try to differentiate themselves from others rather than just treating individuals in a non-judgemental way...

the only time the color of your skin matters, is in Halo....so you don't end up shooting your own teamates because you can differentiate the colors red and blue...

[90'sCartoonMan]

Also, to some people who responded here, I'm not necessarily asking just the Asians in here, but those who are of other so-called "ethnic minorities" as well. And even African-Americans I'd like to hear from.

I'd also welcome thoughts of alienation from a caucasian perspective--have you ever felt uncomfortable in a crowd full of say, Asians or blacks? Do you feel they treat you differently?
How about both simultaneously? I happen to be bi-racial, and unlike Fone Bone's friend, I make friends with everyone. It's kind of hard to descriminate, and it's not like I'd want to anyway. If I were in a crowd of anyone who was one particular race, I'd feel strange, at least partly. If I didn't know any of them, that is.

So even though I'm technically a minority, I don't have the chance to form a group of people who are the same ethnicity as me, and frankly I wouldn't want to anyway. It's just too hard to segregate yourself, and you'd be missing out anyway.

I tend to believe race relations is a comfort level rather than discrimination too, as I said in my first post.
At first, I'm sure there's a comfort zone, like you said. When you enter a school (high school or college) and you're meeting a whole bunch of new people, you're going to want to start talking to people who make you feel secure. I'm sure there are plenty of Asian Americans who can share stories if they're the first generation born in this country (or even if they moved when they were very young) and are still strongly influenced by their culture. I guess that's why schools have clubs for certain races. It's not a bad thing, it helps people meet new people, I just hope they'd also want to make friends outside the club.

Here's a question, and I don't mean to be offensive about it. When it comes to dating, do people feel they should date within their race? Is it because of their parents influence or because of something they feel?

[sKorpia]

I was hoping this thread would get away from the Asian-American only vibe and I'm glad it's been openly stated. I too have been interested in the feelings of the dominant culture with regards to race, especially the societal pressure to not offend or to feel guilty. Do white people think about race issues as often as minorities? It's never very far from my thoughts, but for my boyfriend (who's white), he can be oblivious to race issues. I mean, he won't notice weird looks from older Asian women when we're out together at the local Asian supermarket, but I'll notice every time because I'm more sensitive to how interracial relationships are still not the norm.

It's really supposed to be American Africans that more or less applies, because IIRC the rules are this: The first term depicts the country you were born in, the second term is the country or countries your family originated. So there is a major difference. However some ethic backrounds just seem to get lumped togther even though the countries of origin were wide-spread, white people are prime examples of this. They have the generalized term "caucasian", which pretty much applies to anyone with white skin. However the cultures of lets say someone who family originated in France and Russia and currently live in America are both too diffrent to be the same. Yet that person will still be considered caucasian just on the exterior appearance.I've never heard of that rule before in my life. As for the lumping of ethnic backgrounds into a generic term, it's already happened with African-American and Asian-American. I can still remember 10 or so years ago that it used to be Chinese-American, Japanese-American, etc. Now, we're all subsumed into this "Asian-American" identity without regard to the difference between the originating countries. The same would go for African-Americans whose families came from Ethiopia or Egypt or South Africa. I'm still trying to figure out when I made the transition from answering "I'm Chinese" to "I'm Asian". (Also interesting to note that the decision to say Chinese versus Asian only occurs with people who are not of Asian descent. More evidence of that wall, that distance between ethnicities.)

Here's a question, and I don't mean to be offensive about it. When it comes to dating, do people feel they should date within their race? Is it because of their parents influence or because of something they feel?
Since I was little, I've been attracted primarily to white boys. Part of it was the lack of attractive Asian boys, most of it is I don't know what. All I know is that I tend to see white boys as dating material more than I do Asian boys. It wasn't until college that I found some Asian guys to whom I was remotely attracted. Every single one of my girl friends is in an inter-ethnic relationship (white-Mexican, Indian-white, Filipina-Chinese) and have tended to lean those ways, ethnicity-wise. At least two of us have parents who would want their daughters to date within their ethnicity but that doesn't stop my friends from dating whom they please. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to date a Chinese boy since I haven't yet, but I'm perfectly happy in my current relationship and I don't have any pressing feelings that I should explore a relationship with a Chinese boy. As for my parents, I assumed they would care about the ethnicity of whomever I dated, but, as it turns out, they just want me to be in a relationship with a person who has a good head on his shoulders, respects me, respects himself, and would be a good personality match.

(I'm so happy this dialogue is occurring and I hope it keeps up. Race relations are always such interesting subjects to explore and to hear the different perspectives/experiences.)

[MahouShoujo13]

Here's a question, and I don't mean to be offensive about it. When it comes to dating, do people feel they should date within their race? Is it because of their parents influence or because of something they feel?
What I see is people dating people of their own race. My cousins and two brothers also date Asians as well, but inter-ethnic (Filipino-Chinese).
But I'm more attracted to white guys. They're only crushes, though. But, of course, I have yet to find someone of a perfect match...different race or not.

[Weatherman]

Where the heck was this?! I would have loved to hear B.D. Wong talk (and seen him in the first run of M. Butterfly but that'll have to wait for my time machine). I totally get where he's coming from though. I grew up with a romanticized notion of East/West and it wasn't until college, through my literature major, that I was finally able to see a world past that false binary. I don't think I'll ever completely get away from certain aspects of life that fall into the Chinese vs. American feeling but it's a lifelong excavation. Part of getting to that sense of cohesion is the process of investigating one's identity, and not just in racial or ethnic terms.
It was at the University of Maryland College Park.

And that's exactly what he said. When he got to New York he spent the first few years playing "the aisan guy" in but parts, trying to mold the role to what he wanted it to be. He got so fed up he went back to LA before getting the call about M. Butterfly.

[Fone Bone]

I'd also welcome thoughts of alienation from a caucasian perspective--have you ever felt uncomfortable in a crowd full of say, Asians or blacks? Do you feel they treat you differently?
Not really. I was nervous when I was a little kid but that's probably because my mom was a little racist (and to a lesser extent my dad) but once I went to a school with a WHOLE bunch of minorities I really didn't feel any differently. I'm weird even by white people's standards so everybody regardless of their race treats me pretty much the same: confused but not without affection.



Here's a question, and I don't mean to be offensive about it. When it comes to dating, do people feel they should date within their race? Is it because of their parents influence or because of something they feel? I don't really date but I would prefer a girlfriend who is loving and a good person. My last one was mean and horrible and I don't really care about race from a romantic perspective.

[BrendaBat]

I sometimes feel like the odd one out when I hang out with my Christian friends. I hang with them because they are, hands down, some of the nicest people who have ever lived. However, their attempts to save my hellbound, Jewish soul get pretty annoying. Thankfully, they eventually learned to back off.

In High School, I just hung out with my rainbow of geeky friends. The school I went to was pretty evenly mixed (except for the fact that there were only about 5 Jewish kids :rolleyes: ). My school did have a few small ethnic cliques; but most groups were mixed bunches of jocks, trendiods, and annoying idiots who blasted crappy music way too loud.
Origionally posted by Leaping Larry Jojo
I'd also welcome thoughts of alienation from a caucasian perspective--have you ever felt uncomfortable in a crowd full of say, Asians or blacks? Do you feel they treat you differently?Not really. But that question reminds me of an embarassing social faux pas that happened to me in my freshman year of High School:
I was in P.E. one day. A group of jack-asses were messing around at the fence surrounding the tennis court. One of them (a black guy) tried to get the attention of the girls I was hanging with by swinging on the doorframe of the fence and making obnoixious noises. I laughed at him and said, "You look like a monkey". Up until then, I had NEVER heard of "monkey" as a racial slur. So I had no clue why the guy and his buddies starting freaking out and calling me a racist. Thank goodness one of my black girlfriends was there to stand up for me and tell me what I did to upset them. If she hadn't been around, I might have developed a bad reputation and never known why. :sweat:

[True Noir]

Here's a question, and I don't mean to be offensive about it. When it comes to dating, do people feel they should date within their race? Is it because of their parents influence or because of something they feel?
Well, some people may or may not. Usually, the people I'm around is what influences me to date with a certain ethnic. So therefore, this influence causes a certain attraction to a race of people. Because I hang out with many Asians, I'm attracted to Asians more, but I'm also around a very white-dominant area, so that makes me attracted to whites. Personally, these are my attractions but I would never mind dating outside of that.

[Weatherman]

While the US may be a slightly majority Anglo country. I definately didn't grow up in a place like that. The city I'm for is more or less the "white" corner of a majority black county. Most everywhere I go and at all of the jobs I've worked there has been at least a 50/50 mix of non-black and black, and it's only gotten more so as I've gotten out of school. The job I had on campus had 4 other white guys out of about 25 people in the building and the last couple of long term office jobs I've had have been majority black women. It's kinda odd being an otherwise ordinary white guy and yet feeling a little out of place.:sweat:

Thankfully, my skin color has never really mattered very much to anyone outside of the jackasses who used to live across the street from me years ago, but they got evicted.

[Youko Recca]

This is one of the reasons I created the Untouchables. I live in Killeen where you'll, surprisingly, find just about all kinds of races. I'm Panamanian and luckily here at Ellison there are some more scattered around. Even if I was the only one it wouldn't be an issue. Of course people would be "oh, you're ____?! Wow." and it'd be more positive than I'd want. So I guess the race thing isn't really an issue around here. My group has guamanians, whites, blacks, etc. And I gained their freindship naturally without trying. I love being surrounded by such diversity cause besides the knowledge, when we walk by the big group of whoever it's almost like making a statement without words. But we don't question each other's skin or anything like that. There's too many other more important things to worry about. Like people gluing your locks to your locker.....



All for interacial relationships aswell. Those are awesome.

[Leaping Larry Jojo]

Good points about the specificity of some terms here. In one of my posts in this thread, I threw in the term "African Americans" because I felt that, perhaps when referring to blacks, I should start mixing it in to not sound so vulgar. I don't know, I guess I felt that I was overusing the term a bit and it began to sound rather uncultured and a little un-PC. But, it is a good point that "Afro Americans" is usually incorrectly used. Especially when talking about blacks in Europe or even Canada.

As for the term "Asian", I also agree that it seems to be a "lumping" together of all oriental people, although I will add that I do not find it too questionable since it's usually applied in the same manner Europeans are. But, even those Asians who are living in North America are still referred to as Asians, while Europeans who come here are no longer Europeans.

However, I believe the term "Asian" is a reflection of the Western view of oriental people in general. For the most part, I believe that the casual non-Asian sees all Asians as similar, whether they are Chinese or Japanese. If Hollywood is a reflection of society, than I believe my opinion on this may be quite close.

I will say, though, that I believe racism still exists within their own races. By this I mean that, a black man may be more ready to make jokes or put down "whites" within a crowd of black friends rather than with a crowd of mixed people. As a Chinese, I can definitely say this--there are some Chinese people who are discriminatory against other races, but they will not show it outside of their family or ethnic communities. Some relatives of mine are definitely prone to racist comments towards other ethnicities. And I also hear enough while hanging around my local Chinatown.

As for the attraction question, this is a good one. Being brought up in a Western environment, I have been treated to the Western, especially white American ideal of the "beautiful woman." Therefore, I have a strong attraction towards whites. However, I am also very attracted to all Asians, so I haven't "lost" anything. I do think, however, many other ethnic groups could use more representation by the media in terms of "beauty" ideals.

Now, from a male perspective, I find the misrepresentation even more pronounced in the media. I find that the idea of the "handsome man" is mainly embodied in the image of the white man, followed by the black man. After these two, basically, colours, all the other ethnicities are far behind, in terms of the portrayal of a "handsome man."

Hollywood, I find, is more readily willing to accept a beautiful woman of minority rather than a handsome man of minority. At least from MY perspective, I find the ethnic diversity of women better represented in Hollywood than the diversity of men. I can't help but think that Mexicans are still seen as greasy tanktop moustached men and Asian men still seen as William Hungs. And that's despite the existence of stars like Chow Yun Fat. (Jackie Chan is popular, but he's more goofy than sexy).

[90'sCartoonMan]

Since I was little, I've been attracted primarily to white boys. Part of it was the lack of attractive Asian boys, most of it is I don't know what. All I know is that I tend to see white boys as dating material more than I do Asian boys. It wasn't until college that I found some Asian guys to whom I was remotely attracted. Every single one of my girl friends is in an inter-ethnic relationship (white-Mexican, Indian-white, Filipina-Chinese) and have tended to lean those ways, ethnicity-wise. At least two of us have parents who would want their daughters to date within their ethnicity but that doesn't stop my friends from dating whom they please.
I see. What you and True Noir and some others are saying is logical, you're attracted to what you're surrounded by. Being half black and half white, it's no real surprise I've been attracted to more white women than black women because I've been around them more (especially in college) and there's that whole media influence.

I'm also attracted to Asian women, mostly because I like black hair, but what I'm wondering is this offensive? Is it a turn off?


As for the term "Asian", I also agree that it seems to be a "lumping" together of all oriental people, although I will add that I do not find it too questionable since it's usually applied in the same manner Europeans are. But, even those Asians who are living in North America are still referred to as Asians, while Europeans who come here are no longer Europeans.

However, I believe the term "Asian" is a reflection of the Western view of oriental people in general. For the most part, I believe that the casual non-Asian sees all Asians as similar, whether they are Chinese or Japanese. If Hollywood is a reflection of society, than I believe my opinion on this may be quite close.
It's funny you say that because it wasn't until recently (well, more like 3 years ago) when I realized how offensive the term "Native American" is. Calling them Indians isn't right, but neither is Native Americans because they aren't American as we percieve it, that's another pseudo politically correct term that clumps them into one category when they are clearly not.


I can't help but think that Mexicans are still seen as greasy tanktop moustached men and Asian men still seen as William Hungs. And that's despite the existence of stars like Chow Yun Fat. (Jackie Chan is popular, but he's more goofy than sexy).
I wouldn't say Asian men are "still" seen as William Hungs considering his rise to fame wasn't long ago, but I see what you mean.

[Demonic Raven]

Well, despite me not being in really ANY clique, group, etc, I don't group people. I am mostly Italian, some German, but I hang out with all types of people. I really can care less what kind of person.

I even have a Polish friend, who can fluently speak Polish, and he even has a really weird Polish name! Przemek.

[Leaping Larry Jojo]

I wouldn't say Asian men are "still" seen as William Hungs considering his rise to fame wasn't long ago, but I see what you mean.
Yeah. I still think things haven't changed much from Sixteen Candles' "Dong" character.

[Nightflower]

Since I was little, I've been attracted primarily to white boys. Part of it was the lack of attractive Asian boys, most of it is I don't know what. All I know is that I tend to see white boys as dating material more than I do Asian boys. It wasn't until college that I found some Asian guys to whom I was remotely attracted. Every single one of my girl friends is in an inter-ethnic relationship (white-Mexican, Indian-white, Filipina-Chinese) and have tended to lean those ways, ethnicity-wise. At least two of us have parents who would want their daughters to date within their ethnicity but that doesn't stop my friends from dating whom they please. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to date a Chinese boy since I haven't yet, but I'm perfectly happy in my current relationship and I don't have any pressing feelings that I should explore a relationship with a Chinese boy. As for my parents, I assumed they would care about the ethnicity of whomever I dated, but, as it turns out, they just want me to be in a relationship with a person who has a good head on his shoulders, respects me, respects himself, and would be a good personality match.

(I'm so happy this dialogue is occurring and I hope it keeps up. Race relations are always such interesting subjects to explore and to hear the different perspectives/experiences.)
Hehe... everyone always teases me and say that I'm only attracted to guys who are tall, skinny, and, in particular, white. Personally, I don't think this is true. It's true that the guys I've been attracted to have always been white, but that doesn't mean that I'm exclusively attracted to white guys.

Speaking of Kumon, I was in Kumon for seven or eight years, and then I worked there for two. :D