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Ephidel500
12-25-2004, 07:47 PM
Okay, for those of you who know, I already aired these two chapters on my poll. For those of you that don't know, I am writing my own fic about, (surprise!), the daughter of Slade. I welcome any and all feedback for my story, just don't be to hard on me, Raven37, 'cause you know I'm a first time writer. Okay, here's the prologue & first chapter of me fic. Enjoy!!!

Prologue: Mystery Girl

The red siren light flickered overhead. The titans waited for the usual line.

"Trouble," Robin said.

There it was. The titans ran to the huge screen dominating half of the main living quarters. It showed a picture of a thin black-haired girl in a metallic suit. She was laughing maniacally at something just out of the screen. Then she turned her head so that she directly faced the security camera. "Well, well, looks like I’m being watched. Why don’t you tell the teen titans to come down here and face me? I’d accept their challenge any day. How ‘bout it, titans? You up for the fight, or are you still crying over your precious Terra?" the mysterious girl jeered evilly. The screen went blank. Robin worked to restrain Beast Boy.

"Let’s go."

Chapter 1:

The titans hurried down to the government chemical testing area. As far as the titan’s knew, the mysterious girl was heading toward the synotheum control center. Synotheum was the most dangerous and unstable substance in the universe. It was also the most powerful. If this girl got to the power core, she’d have enough power to destroy the world.

The titans rushed into the power room. The mysterious girl greeted them. "Well, well, if it isn’t the famous Teen Titans. Glad you decided to join me after all."

"Who are you and what are you planning?" Robin demanded.

"To steal synotheum, of course. As for your other question, you may call me the Ghost of Honor, for I will haunt your steps until you have payed for what you have done."

She broke the barrier that protected the synotheum with a glowing dagger and grabbed the stick off the pedestal. She stuck the synotheum into a pouch hanging from her side and flipped gracefully over the titans and onto the roof. She landed face-to-face with none other than Robin the boy wonder.

"Out of my way," She snarled.

"And let you get away with the most unstable substance known to man? I don’t think so."Robin replied.

"Then I guess you thought wrong."She said. Her fist glowed light purple as it collided painfully with the side of Robin’s face. Robin was sent flying straight into a brick wall. Starfire came up and sent a stream of pale green starbolts at the metallic girl. * She dodged them by jumping up the fence, but as she reached the top to escape she was hit with a blast from Cyborg’s sonic cannon and fell with a thud to the ground. Raven surrounded a couple of waste containers and directed them toward the fallen foe. The large containers seemed to bury the girl and the titans moved in and waited for any movement. After several minutes of waiting Robin began moving the rubble away. He was met only by the pure dirt floor.

How did she do this? Robin thought.

He piled into the T-car with the rest of the titans and headed home for a good night rest. He would try to figure out this strange girl’s motive in the morning. For now, he just wanted to go home and work out any possible leads so he could send out the others to investigate while he looked for more clues. He needed to know as much as he could about this girl. He needed to know her past, her plan, her location, and her power capability. Why had she sought them, out? What did she mean by "you must pay for what you have done"? What had they done? All these questions he hoped to answer.

I better get to work, he thought, as he shut himself inside his room and began to piece things together, bit by bit.

***************************************************************************

Starfire was upset about today’s events. This new "purple girl" was disrupting the lives of her friends. Robin had already shut himself up in his room and refused to come out for anyone. Starfire knew he had noticed the obvious similarities between the girl’s costume and the ones of Slade’s apprentices. She was worried for her dear friend. She did not want him to go to insane trying to track down this new foe. He was already working to hard as it was, and any extra stress might cause him a psychiatric meltdown.

"Slorvlac Buagavek,"She murmured sleepily as she climbed into bed. She was asleep in minutes, and left the purple girl, Robin, and the whole of Jump City behind.

Hope you liked it.:anime:

Aquagirl15
12-25-2004, 07:51 PM
yay!!!! new fic. must have more, post soon and alll that jazz. first post? :shrug:

Raven37
12-25-2004, 08:03 PM
You already know what I think, but I'll say it a third time:this rocks!:D Please post more soon!


-Raven37

Ephidel500
12-25-2004, 08:09 PM
I'n trying, but I told you, I'm going to Iowa for a week.

Great-grandmas generally don't have computers with internet access.

I gotta get off soon.:shrug: Bummer.:(

Sproxie
12-25-2004, 09:25 PM
This is good, the new "purple girl" sounds great. But if she's Slade's daughter, how did she get powers if he's human? (wait, IS Slade human?) Anywho, great job.

T.T.Raven4
12-25-2004, 09:56 PM
A surprising amount of action in the prolouge and first chapter, but still extremely awesome!

GO SLADE! AND HIS NEW APPRENTICE/DAUGHTER! WOOT WOOT!

Matt A
12-26-2004, 10:45 AM
You already know what I think, but I'll just say it again: this rocks!

Longer chapters would be good, though...

Crowgirl
12-26-2004, 11:01 AM
You already know what I think, but I'll just say it again: this rocks!

Longer chapters would be good, though...WHY DOES EVERYONE SAY WHAT I'M GOING TO SAY!!!?!?!?!??!?!?!

I agree, this totally rocks. However, I would appreciate a bigger font size, the size you chose is very small (As are the chapter lengths...).

Sprox does bring up a good point:

IS SLade human? Great, more topics to ponder...

Crowgirl

Red X Unmasked
12-26-2004, 11:49 AM
http://www.titanstower.com/source/whoswho/deathstroke.html

That should cover any Slade questions and why his daughter would have powers.

T.T.Raven4
12-26-2004, 02:02 PM
Okay, for those who wish to know, Rose Wilson is Slades daughter (Duh). Addie (Slade's Ex-wife) is the mother of Jericho (Slade's son) and Grant (Ravager, also Slade's son) His only daughter Rose Wilson is not related to Addie. Somehow, she has visisons. She is able to predict her opponents next moves. She has powers and is Slade's daughter, so can Sonra.

~TTR4~

Red X Unmasked
12-26-2004, 02:18 PM
She is able to predict her opponents next moves. She has powers and is Slade's daughter, so can Sonra.


She can also project herself in an astral form, allowing her to possess someone (similiar to Jericho's ability).

Aquagirl15
12-26-2004, 02:25 PM
well i didn't get all this helpful info so be happy you got it Ephidel! allthough it is kinda confusing. :sweat: still, it helps. post right when you get home from Iowa or be forced to live in a pink room!

T.T.Raven4
12-26-2004, 02:57 PM
She can also project herself in an astral form, allowing her to possess someone (similiar to Jericho's ability).
*Reads Bio*

Yea I missed that. My bad.

Crowgirl
12-26-2004, 03:33 PM
well i didn't get all this helpful info so be happy you got it Ephidel! allthough it is kinda confusing. :sweat: still, it helps. post right when you get home from Iowa or be forced to live in a pink rooom!
I HAVE to live in a pink room, and I didn't really get that stuff either.

Oh well...

POST MORE AS SOON AS YOU CAN!

Starfire5
12-26-2004, 08:31 PM
Rockin!

Ephidel500
12-29-2004, 10:17 PM
I must tell you, Crowgirl, that I am very sorry for you and your pink-ish room. Me and my friends hate pink, so all our threats involve pink.(well, most of them anyway)


I am having some trouble with the next chapter I don't really know what to write.:sweat: Please help! PM me with ideas!!!! Notice I'm begging...:crying:

starfire0639
12-30-2004, 02:46 PM
i love this fic do write more soon:sweat:

Aquagirl15
12-30-2004, 03:03 PM
ok so threating doesn't seem to be working so i'll beg ahem...

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE post more soon!:crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying:
i'm like dying to know more! *gets down on bended knee* i implore you to write more please? please? please? PLEASE!?!?!?!?!?!?! *burts out crying* please!!!

ok this is the first time i've ever begged like this so PLEASE!!!! :crying:

JazzyChick
12-30-2004, 07:54 PM
first just let me say, this fic has an interesting plot line developing, and its written well.

there's just one thing i noticed that's really bugging me. how did the Titan's know to go to the chemical testing plant? how did they know that the mystery girl was after synotheum? there's nothing in the story that indicates that she was going there, so how did the Titan's know? don't worry about it, its just that those details are what make a stroy fun. robin searching for hours, or she gets cocky and tells them what her plan is, or something like that. it also helps in making chaps longer. just pretend that we're two year olds and need everything explained to us.

like i said, this is a very interesting fic and i look forward to more, so just keep writing. okay? and please don't hate me or anything like that, this is just some friendly advice.

Crowgirl
12-30-2004, 10:04 PM
I must tell you, Crowgirl, that I am very sorry for you and your pink-ish room. Me and my friends hate pink
Oh, I abhor the color, but I'm getting my room painted purple in the spring. Woot woot!

And I just thought of something. Are we talking the old comics or the new ones?

Crowgirl

P.S. So this doesn't totally count as spam, I'll say two things:

This is awesome!
When's the next chapter coming out? I'd love to read it...:evil:

Ephidel500
01-02-2005, 02:17 PM
I'm having some trouble with our internet. Almost every time I try to connect to the internet it tells me that my communication port is already in use or is not suitable for internet use or some other nonesense like that. Totally evil.:sad:

ShadowOfAGhost
01-08-2005, 04:19 PM
***currently in the middle of reading chapter 1***

Well, I thought I should say this as it seems (to me at least) important. Usualy I wait until after I finish reading to post on a chapter, but like I said, I feel I need to tell you this ASAP.

I'd call you a liar, but you asked us not to be harsh, so instead I'll call you misinformed. You told me in a PM that this wasn't a very good fic. That couldn't be farther from the truth! This is excelent writing! Congratulations, consider this thread Bookmarked! I think that you are one of the better writers I have read. the only things that need work are your formatting (only a little, ie: new paragraph with new speaker/action unless the new action describes speaking) and your self esteem!:) (and your internet connection. if you want help I could probably help you out)

Shadow

Aquagirl15
01-08-2005, 04:41 PM
yeah, what he said. i really want you to post more. begging and threatening doesn't work so what can i do to make you post more? :crying: post more this is really good.

Ephidel500
01-08-2005, 04:44 PM
You know, Aquagirl15, I'm suprised you haven't threatened to burn me at the stake yet. That might work...


Thanks ShadowOfAGhost, I really appreciate the compliments. I just wasn't getting much feedback, so I wasn't sure if I should continue...:sad: But, I guess I will!!!:D

ShadowOfAGhost
01-08-2005, 11:02 PM
just pretend that we're two year olds and need everything explained to us.
I won't mention any names, but frankly, some of us act like 2 year olds some times.:p

Shadow