A Day In The Life Of A Dream Of A Teen Titan [Archive]

starfire0639

12-12-2004, 04:04 PM

For all of you that dont know me my name is ash and as i see all new writers write i will say sorry now for the kinda bad in my thought writing that im going to post i know i need some help and if there are any suggestions i want to hear them ok everyone here is my firstchapter or epilouge thingy so dont get MAD at me if it well kinda sucks ok well here it goes!oh um yeah....HERES THE FIC!

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A DREAM OF A TEEN TITAN

Starfire awoke with the sudden glimpse of robin by her side.She giggled slightly kissing him on the cheek.She flew out of bed only to be tackled inward once more...by Robin.

"Where do you think your going"said robin smiling gingerly

"It is of nowhere that i am going Robin"smiles also and turns on her side to face him

"Are you shure of that or were you up to some evil plan of mischeif star?"winking just kidding around

Star stood struck by Robins dibelief"I am of telling the truth Robin!"believing Robins misguidence"i was only planning on making the breakfast for the team!"

"Was that all star or do i have to force the truth out of you",and with that he grabs onto her and tickles her renevously

"Hahahahahaha i shall stay robin i shall stay!"Much longer if you wish Robin!"laughs still being tickled

"I wish"Robin pulls the covers over their heads

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After an hour more of their half slumber Robin recalls the past night.Robin then sneaks out of Starfires room as not to be seen by the other team mates.

"DUDE! What the hell are you doing in stars room!?!"

Startled Robin looks towards Beast Boy blushing but it quickly resides

"Oh....hey Beast Boy.I was um teaching Star some um...........tackeling techniques!"big smile trying to to blurt out the truth,rubbing his neck.

"YA!im sure it was some type of technique"-starts laughing histerically and nudged Robin in the arm and winks as he passes by

"PHEW that was close"Robin continued his venture the kitchen slowly only to be greeted by a grip of two hands around his chest

"Why had you not waited for me Robin"smiling

Im sorry Star,I didnt think bout it,turns aorund kissing her on the cheek quickly so noone sees and walsk quickly now to the dining table where CY,BB,Rae and now he and Starfire sat.

Raven had a glimpse in her eye kinda like i know soemthing and im sure you do to but im not telling you but maybe a hint will subfise

Raven-"hmph"

Cyborge-"Whats up Raven,You dont look to happy"

"As if she ever does!"

Raven-shoots a red glare over to BB"Its nothing".looks down at her book once again then at Robin

Cyborg-"Ya there is .....spill"

Raven-"I was only thinking that maybe we need stronger walls"

Cyborg-"Whys that?"

Beastboy for some unknown reason could be heard snickering in the background

Raven-"The titanium alloy of these walls is way to dense.You can hear almost anything thru them.I think its only at night tho."smiles evily at Robin and Starfire.

Beast boy couldnt hold it in any longer............"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HEHE HE HAHAHAHAHAA!!!"-he then turned into a cyote to finish his laughfest while rolling on the ground

Starfire was blushing deeply and Robin just shook his head

Cy-I guess Terra wasnt the only one that could make the tower shake!"

Star smiles a bit forcing it out at Robin only to hear the alarm startled

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Robin awoke form his distant nightmare only to be brung back to reality as the tt alarm was set of by yet another bad guy seemingly thinking he was unoticed by the vigilent teen titans.-he runs downstairs to meet the others only looking at the others but not Star.

"Another night my young foe.Another weakness i will find within your hiding secrets buried in your mind"a black ora lifted off the pillow and with an evil cackle it vanished.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WELL HOW I DO DID I DO GOOD!?!
Any feedback would be cool i dont really know where im goin with this but i know itll be great so ok post your comments soon so i can start working on the next chapter!:D

Sproxie

12-12-2004, 04:41 PM

Well, it's pretty good!
but you seem to be switching from past tense to present tense...

Starfire awoke with the sudden glimpse of robin by her side
She giggles slightly kissing him on the cheek

and so on.. if you were to do it in past tense you should change giggles (along with a few other words) to giggled. otherwise it seems promising! oh, and please change the font :sweat:
^ Whats wrong with my writing???

The_NewCatwoman

12-12-2004, 04:58 PM

You've chosen a very difficult--no, actually painful font for your story. This would be a "prologue" not and epilogue. An epilogue would come at the end. I would also follow Sprox advice.

tNC

Matt A

12-12-2004, 05:40 PM

I have to agree about the font and tense things. But that's just presentation.

Well, in terms of content, that was pretty stunning. You seem to have taken the idea in the latest chapter of TT: The Musical and just ran with it...those two getting flirtatious is always guaranteed to be funny. Also, if the "thicker walls" bit was referring to what I think it was referring to, then that was just inspired.

Oh, and exactly what was the "guy with the evil cackle" bit referring to?

decka

12-12-2004, 06:11 PM

You started a fic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I'm so proud!!! It's soo good too! YAY!!!!! Just change text and it will be all good. So is it on what you wanted to do before or something different??

starfire0639

12-12-2004, 06:22 PM

sniffles*WELL I DIDNT THINK THE FONT WOULD BE A BIG DEAL!

but thanks mate thank you very much and i cant give away anything if i have leanred anything form the aswomse writers here its never give away anything!and sorry bout the past tense and stuff ill work on it
but what i wanna know is should i keep working on it or just leave it in the dust:crying:

decka

12-12-2004, 06:59 PM

Keep writing silly!! I love your fic and hope to see more of it! GO ASH GO!!!!!

Aquagirl15

12-12-2004, 07:01 PM

i agree w/ what everyone has said. the font actually has a lot to do w/ it cause it makes your fic harder to read. just use the standard font, it's a lot easiest to read! ;)

Raven37

12-12-2004, 07:24 PM

That was very good. I can't wait to see what this story will turn into. My gripes: 1. Yes, please work on the 'tense' thing. 2. Yes, please use regular font. It makes it a lot easier to read. 3. Last, spelling and grammer. Otherwise, Great Job! Write more!!!:D

-Raven37http://fs5.deviantart.com/i/2004/331/c/4/_raven__by_FreeLancerFox.gif

starfire0639

12-12-2004, 07:33 PM

Starrysky

12-12-2004, 10:16 PM

I read this story... but I forgot to post! :eek: But I'm posting now...Sorry!:crying:

Anyways...nice beginning! I hope you have a great time writing this. And do not become prey to the fearsome writer's block. It is a terrible thing. Everyone else said just about anything there was to be critisized. Be warned though, that when I do critisize, that it it not gentle. I just say things like they are.

Keep the font easy to read, Maybe more description, for some reason, when you do speaking quotations, it seems a bit off.

Great so far! Keep on going! :D

Raven37

12-12-2004, 10:27 PM

oh hahahahaha i get it you guys dont undertsand the first part of the story is a dream sequence its happening as its going on thats why its in present tense and thats why when starfire smiles at him he wakes up because hes waking from the night mare i hope that will help you guys a bit:D
Umm... sorta.:sweat: I'm still a little confused...:sweat:

-Raven37http://fs5.deviantart.com/i/2004/331/c/4/_raven__by_FreeLancerFox.gif

decka

12-12-2004, 11:22 PM

Hey again! I like this font better it is easier to read! I got the whole dream thing it wasn't too hard to understand. Then again I am magical so maybe that is why I got it....Anyways I luv it write more!

Aquagirl15

12-13-2004, 08:34 AM

i realized that it was Robin's nightmare after reading the last sentence. then i was like 'OH!' but it was a little confusing! try to write more!! :D

rrarbecy

12-13-2004, 01:32 PM

If that was Robin's NIGHTMARE, I'd love to be him in one of his good dreams. In bed with a beautiful girl? Come on. :D

Matt A

12-13-2004, 03:28 PM

Hey, all will make sense in time...I hope.

oneeyemonkeypie

12-13-2004, 03:44 PM

T.T.Raven4

12-13-2004, 04:29 PM

Grammar, Like oneeyemonkeypie said.

The font didn't bug me at all...unless she changed it since I read it...

My G rated senses are buring. They are no older than 16, and I dont think they'd be....doing that. But the flirty thing is always funny! Thicker walls, oh that was good!

Write more, cause I'll read it.

Crowgirl

12-13-2004, 05:49 PM

You've chosen a very difficult--no, actually painful font for your story.
As long as the letters don't carry knives, I'm cool with the font.

But I was a little confused, so feel free to clear up stuff.

Starrysky

12-13-2004, 05:51 PM

She did change the font from the original. :anime:

Just clearing things up...:D

Matt A

12-13-2004, 06:46 PM

That relationship sounds a bit intense for 15-17 year olds, don't you think? They are just kids, remember.

Did you run this through a language translator? Cause the grammer is ridiculous. I'm somewhat of a perfectionist when it comes to internet stories. (Hell, the computer fixes it for you, how hard can it be?) And I gotta say, this story made my eyes bleed. It hurt so much! My brain was screaming ABORT! ABORT!

Is english your first language? If not then bravo, an excellent fic. If it is, then you really need to check the grammer in word or something.

However, in spite of all that negativity, I will still read this fic.Hey, I think that none of us have made the Titans look like genuine 15-17 year olds, so we can't really comment on that. Besides, if them being adult produces stuff as funny as this...well, I'm game for it.

As for the grammer...I was going to mention that, but for some reason I thought better of it. Anyway, Word's grammar-check thing is f**king useless: I could probably do a better job! Actually, how's about that...

starfire0639

12-13-2004, 06:53 PM

thanks mate but i have soemthign to say also~~~~~~~~~~~~~

!jeese i understand heavy critism but thats just crazy monkeypie!jeeshe and i can reminde evryone bout another certain fic that had the youngsters flirting and as i being a 15 year old i dont see any promlem i didnt explin what happened maybe he was just in the bed if you thought they did soemthing then thats up to you and as sprox said all i did was take that idea and run with it so nenenenene hmph sorry if i dont take your critism lightly but god!like i said before when i apoligized iv never wriotew a fic before this was my first!and ps on my comp it doesnt have word all i have is a sucky 1989 year comp that has wordpad so you have to catch stuff on your own!and yeah english is my fricken first language!
was it fun putting my story down or just thinking that you were going to sound more superior by doing so total yawn man!hmm and you dont have to read this actuasly i owe a big thanks to evryoen that did read it cus i thought it was gonna be a total falior but hey at least theres people like you around to do the unspeakable damage as to keep me from posting my next chapter! u dont have to read it if you dont want to i mean hey i dont want your eyes to bleed anymore than they already have!so hey ill post this chapter and see how it goes and if it sucks then ok if it rocks ok but im not gonna post and have to listen to crap like that
so anyway.................. hmph!

decka

12-13-2004, 07:00 PM

Ya I agree with her you were WAY to mean to her! I mean this is like only her first chapter of her first fic ever! I don't mean to but in but you should at least say sorry or something to starfire0369. She didn't desever what you said about her fic! I just can't get over it. I sorry but really...

Matt A

12-13-2004, 07:19 PM

Hey, don't get too worked up about what we said. You were just unlucky enough to get the attention of the guys who really believe in constructive criticism...

You've got a great story going here, so don't be put off just because some of us are being bastards. Yes, I know that I was one of them, so I'm just going to apologise right now and pray that you forgive me.

Oh, and to get to what I really meant to say: d'you mind if I take a quick sneak-peek at your next chapter? If you think that we're going to tear you in half over the grammar again, then maybe I can tweak it if needs be. I'm not trying to muscle in on your story here; I just want to help out if I can.

So, what d'you say?

starfire0639

12-13-2004, 07:22 PM

yes of course actually i didnt really mind your critsim over it at all you were just trying to help but monkey well he just kinda ripped it up it was like a teen titan styled simon cowell came in to critisiz but ya ill give you the sneak peak and ya id love for you to help me!:D

Matt A

12-13-2004, 07:32 PM

Don't worry, Reid (aka "one eye") can be pretty harsh sometimes. He's also a f**king good writer, so it's not as if he's slagging you off for the fun of it. I think that he's also just trying to help: he may have a funny way of showing it, but hey, nobody's perfect.

As for the chapter, I'll gladly have a look. Just empty your PM inbox before you send it: I tried to PM you my offer of help, but when I couldn't I posted it here instead. Of course, if I'm going to be editing your chapter, rather than just commenting on it, then that won't be much of an option.

Starfire5

12-13-2004, 07:41 PM

:eek: harsh.......

T.T.Raven4

12-13-2004, 07:51 PM

Welshies Mate is 100% Correct. All Word's Grammar check tells me is "Fragment (Consider Revising)" WELL WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO!?!?!

Anyway, Starfire0639, don't take it that way. Constructive Criticizm is what some people here do. It's only meant to help. Don't murder yourself over it. Write More, or face my wrath!

starfire0639

12-13-2004, 08:08 PM

OKOKOKOKOK!please just dotn hurt me!:sweat: ill popst tomorrow but my lovely pain medicine for my toe tehe is kicking in so i shall post it tomorrow as for my toe hmmmmm i think it will decide if it wishes for me to post or not:D i broke it!

decka

12-13-2004, 08:13 PM

Hope your toe feels better!! And yay you are posting tomarrow! Can't wait!

starfire0639

12-13-2004, 08:18 PM

bwahahahahahahahhwhhaahahaha haha ha um i think the medicine is kicking in you know unless my room is supposed to have purpkle rainbows all over it oh and guys dont keep yourselves close to my promise i might or might not post depends on if mate corrects it and stuff when i give it to him thatll be aorund 2:15 tomorrow tehe oh and i missed all my schoolwork lat week the whole week so i have a bunch of makeup work to do:D yayaya i know bad toe!you made me miss school oh and do any of you know what a borken toe looks like i will be so happy to post a pic on my signature for all to see oh and um.....since this is the forum for my story tehe its so much fun to say that um.............just keep a stanstiull till i get back dont go on like chatting or whatever that would be nice:anime: so ok oh and HAPPY HANUCKA!

oneeyemonkeypie

12-13-2004, 08:25 PM

starfire0639

12-13-2004, 08:51 PM

ok so can we say this evryone against the critiscm and evrything being mad and whatevr for my fic is over please!i dont like people being mad and stuff and id like to be frineds with you monkey if thats alright well i kinda mentour help me kinda friend:D

Star_Fire_Chick

12-13-2004, 09:52 PM

that was awesome!cant wait till you write more and i got to read it go me!

starburn1116

12-13-2004, 09:56 PM

MAN!!

i feel realy stupid about now. everyonee is talking about grammer and all that stuff and i don't get it. help me out here. i am just a really smart slow person.

so the first part with the flirting was robin's dream right?

and then robin woke up to the titan alarm and went downstaris and starfire wasn't there?

and then some kind of evil cloud rose out of his pillow and started talking about weaknesses?

is that about it or did i miss/screw up something?

Aquagirl15

12-14-2004, 08:36 AM

no prob. i don't understand grammer either! ;) but it is useful. so post more when you can! and work on the grammer! (which i HATE!!! :evil:)

starfire0639

12-14-2004, 02:53 PM

ok before i post my story let em clear some stuff up so you guys understand which i can understand cus im not that good of planning evrything out before i write it so ok!!!!

um it starts as robin and star well in bed :anime: hahaha but soon the freinds laughing and everything turns the dream into a nightmare
star (in the dream)gets a jump from the loud tt alarm
when that happens robin wakes up as the alarm irl is blaring as in his dream
ok um the next chapter will tell you where all the titans are and evrything and yes star is in the tower as are all the other titans:D
the dark figure was absorbing robins dream sorta like seeping into his inner thought
when your dreaming things happen in your head where you experience your innermost wants and feelings thus why it was with starfire:anime:
the creature is doing something cant tell you what wahahaha
um and it is then going to do soemthing else and something else again but i cant tell you ne ne ne ne !so ok hope that clears evrything up:D

rrarbecy

12-14-2004, 02:55 PM

Crowgirl

12-14-2004, 03:21 PM

6y7ty67tghujynbuyhjyhuhjygthfrtderrdftgyhu jnikg!!!!

Sorry, that's me hitting my forehead against the keyboard, and I did that (at least 7 times) because of what people have posted.

About the harsh thing. One of the best things about this forum is you learn how to improve your writing. I know it's worked for me (I've improved on here and in school) and it isn't always great to hear somebody slam your writing. But all we're trying to do is help you. Have you seen one of those before and after commercials on TV? It's kind of like that on this forum, but it's real. Not a gimmick to make your writing worse, real. Seriously, one of the reasons I love this forum is people don't just give me fluff like 'Oh, you're such a great writer! Oh, I wish I could be like you! (Bats eyelashes)' but real feedback.

There are a bunch of good, no sorry f**k*ng great writers on this forum. If you get good feedback from them, great for you. If you get critisim, remember it is only constructive!!! I don't think that anybody has ever posted something like 'Oh my god!! This is the worst thing I've ever read! You so totally suck!' on this entire forum. They are only trying to help you, not slice and dice you.

Also, it's true how most people have not treated the Titans as if they're real age (like they are in the show), but are any of us really their exact age limit? Hmm? Didn't think so.

rrarbecy

12-14-2004, 03:44 PM

I don't think that anybody has ever posted something like 'Oh my god!! This is the worst thing I've ever read! You so totally suck!' on this entire forum. They are only trying to help you, not slice and dice you.
I heard that once.
But still, there's not really anything to yell at anyone about on this fic. It's great.

decka

12-14-2004, 04:20 PM

I personaly think that the complaimants are as important as the critasizim. Maybe not AS much but still You want to know what you need to improve on but also be ecourged as well. You see some people, not all,but some think that when people say things to try and help them, they take it the wrong way. They might feel as though there writing isn't good enough and why try at all. But of course you can't be great all the time,and if people just told you they liked your fic or whatever your doing you would never get better at it. So do agree with you all just I think the complaments as also important. So there!!! Um sorry but I thought that this was neededto say, even though I know probly that all you that said anything about it thought this anyways.

starfire0639

12-14-2004, 04:33 PM

okokokok please just stop!i get it now its all over im gonna post my story and liten to me when i say this!it is all over there is no more confrontation about this whole thing now im gonna go back to writing my fic and id better not see any bickering coming form any of you bout this whole thing that is now over ok!sheeshe!but yeah all is good now and i hope it will be for much longer there is no more to worry bout :anime: so lets all sing a song and be freakn happy ok!

Raven37

12-14-2004, 04:53 PM

Wow, you guys post fast.

I've been flamed no less than 6 times and havent even had a chance to defend myself.

And you guys call me harsh...:rolleyes:

If you read my post, I never called this story bad. Not once. I think its a great start to a fic, I just told you what you needed to make it better. Tenses and punctuation, namely. Your rant post didn't even have a single period. :sweat:

I don't think I'm superior, just older and more learned. When you get to be my age, you very well may be a better writer than I am. Besides, the idea to post stories here is to get better. I give advice on how to improve. I don't post happy but useless stuff like:

"OMG that was kEwl. :) :D :) :anime: :) :D :p hehehe ok l8terz bye!!!!!!!"

That won't help you become a better writer, I will. Nevermore started out being a bad writer, and when myself, Kregor8 and Welshie's Mate were done with him he was awesome, still is as a matter of fact. It's called constructive criticism, you should be happy someone cares enough to post helpful advice.

If you dont want me to post here, fine, I wont look at this fic again. But you would probably be best served to listen to what I have to say. After all, I just want to help make you a better writer.

Seriously, I liked this fic. I don't know why you all thought I hated it. You all need to just chill, and fell the breeze...:cool:Yes, it's really just constructive critisim. It may seem harsh, but in the end, it really helps.Whenever I gave contsructive critisism to Aquagirl, she used to get all worked up about it... now she realizes that constructive critisism is good. Let me repeat that, GOOD. I have two little stories for you to get this moral across:

There was a fic I was reading once. The first chapter they posted was very horrible. (I'm not going to name names or give any hints, just to let you know.) Many people gave much advice and critisism to this person to help them improve their fic. It was a lot of good advice too. The next chapter the person posted was almost exactly as horrible as the first one. The author made no attempt what-so-ever to improve their story. Once again, we posted replies and advice to the author. And once again, they didn't give any effort to fix the problems in the next chapter they posted. This went on for about 2 more chapters. After that, the author hasn't posted for a week or two, and I still think that fic is horrible and refuse to read it until the author makes an effort to improve his/her writing. The end of the first story.

2nd story:This one goes for two people I know.

I read the first chapter in these two peoples' fan fics. Their chapters were okay for beginners. Writers (including me) posted advice and suggestions on their fics. They (being smart writers) took the advice. Each chapter was improving bit by bit. Now, both of them are on their sequels to their original story (wow!) and they are excellent sequels so far. Allthough they are good, people (still including me) still are posting replies and critisism on their fics. I can definitely tell how their writing has changed A LOT. These two people, I will name because they are now great writers: Nevermore and T.T.Raven4. You guys rock!:anime:

I really think this story could be great if you listen to your fellow writers at the writer's corner. As you can see, the moral of these stories is to accept critisism. It really helps a lot.;)

-Raven37http://fs5.deviantart.com/i/2004/331/c/4/_raven__by_FreeLancerFox.gif

P.S. Hey, Reid, will you give me some advice/critisism on my fic? I really admire your writing style and think it would be awesome to see what you think of it and how it's coming along.:D

EDIT: okokokok please just stop!i get it now its all over im gonna post my story and liten to me when i say this!it is all over there is no more confrontation about this whole thing now im gonna go back to writing my fic and id better not see any bickering coming form any of you bout this whole thing that is now over ok!sheeshe!but yeah all is good now and i hope it will be for much longer there is no more to worry bout :anime: so lets all sing a song and be freakn happy ok! Looks like you beat me before I could post my advice, please read it and consider it anyway.:sweat:

rrarbecy

12-14-2004, 04:56 PM

I know what story you're talking about...:evil: I've almost given up hope on that one. almost...

Raven37

12-14-2004, 04:59 PM

I know what story you're talking about...:evil: I've almost given up hope on that one. almost...
Yea, me too. Almost...:shrug: Anyways, please post more!:D

starfire0639

12-14-2004, 05:09 PM

UGH!I GET IT ALREADY!! im taking the advice thats why its taking me so long to write this thing im trying to take all your help and fix my already written on paper fic!im taking the advice cus even tho i know im good at writing i also know that i need help in parts so ok then-sigh-:sweat:

Raven37

12-14-2004, 05:30 PM

Sorry, sorry, didn't mean to make you mad... I was just adding my opinion.:sweat:

-Raven37http://fs5.deviantart.com/i/2004/331/c/4/_raven__by_FreeLancerFox.gif

starfire0639

12-14-2004, 06:18 PM

YEAH SORRY I HAVNT POSTED FOR THE PAST 2 DAYS BUT MTV CAME ON AND ..IT WAS MUSIC VIDEOS AND...I HAD TO GIVE IN TO THE MUSIC!

<(_-)<(-_-)>(-_)> ....DANCING!WELL NOT NAYMORE AND NOW I WRITE.THIS CHAPPIE MIGHT NOT BE GOOD I DONNO MAYBE ITS PURE GENIUS BUT THATS UP TO YOU GUYS SO HOPE YOU LIKE IT!

"Robin,do they not ever learn?",said Star as she gently flew towards the rest of the team as they marked there way to the crime scene.

"No Star,but its up to us to teach them!",with that Robin ran in front of the rest of the team galiantly showing his leadership as he so modestly does.

"Its just another robbing fest at the bank,no use being overly dramatic Robin"Raven scoffed rolling her eyes at the crime put before them and at Robins meager attempt to show off his leadership.

"Ok titans you know the drill.Star/Cyborg search airborn.Raven/BeastBoy you guys search the grounds and Ill take the inside!"ok......TEEN TITANS GO!"

The team instantly split with Starfire lifting Cyborge off his feet and landing him on the roof .As Starfire and Cyborge began their search for the burgler Robin looked inside while Beast Boy and Raven searched the premises.

"There's like nothing here man! We always get the lousy jobs! If i were the leader we'd have the guy in jail by now!"Beast boy stamered as he walked around the bank as he turned continuesly to hound dog form and back.

"Ya and the world would come to an end,there would be no reason for Slade you would have taken out half the galaxy leaving no part for him to conquer......"

"Ya,whatever rae!-Beast Boy stomped off as he continuesly thought of the gorgeuos babes hanging off his arms as hes wearing Robins cape.

A dark mist fills the area as Beast Boy and Raven searched it formed around them as if a cloud had landed beneth them as it turned to a hardned black bubble.Beast Boy keeps walking till he hits his head on the newly formed wall

"What the!Raven what the hell let me go!"he said as he turned to a rhino quickly to release himself form the dark bubble incasing him."Didnt mean to tick you off...again",rolling his eyes.

"It isnt me.I sence a presence around us but it isnt human.........someone else is doing this!"

"Starfire,Cy,Robin!someone help us!-BB screams couldnt be heard.With that a black lightning bolt blasted in the dark bubble leaving them unconsious.

MEANWHILE.....

"Cyborge did you hear that noise that i had heard?"said Star nervously

"Hmp-um hear what Star im kinda busy scanning the area for the baddie",busily looks at the scanner again

"There is of noone here Cyborge.Maybe the rober had decided to leave and not get in much trouble perhaps?"

"Maybe Star i dont know but maybe we should.......STAR HELP!!"

Starfire turned quickly to see help her friend only to see him frozen by a black shadow castign around him

"CYBORGE!!!Who are you dark object! Leave my friend alone!!"with that Starfire ran backwards lifting off the roof as she reaches the edge and flies off while throwing starbolts by the intrusive creatureWhy do you wish to cause harm to my robotic friend!"

"im sorry my dear.........."came a croaky voice form the dark figure"im sorry that iv left you out!

Starfire was soon to have the same fate as her friend had had. A dark mist formed around her feet seeming to pull her down.Soon her whole body was frozen except for her mouth and with that one final moment she did the only thing she could do........

ROBIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.PLEASE DO COME AND HELP!....and with that one final sentence she fell to her side by Cyborge.

"That was easier than i had expected.....oo i must be more of in the charchter should I not.This is going to be of most fun.Now let us try and cast our first victim that cute snorgnorph Robin! "the dark figure formed around Starfire as a minute passes and fased thru the the bank roof leaving the two frozen titans.

The dark figure cast a green halo evrywhere it stalked. It was searching the bank for its main victim...the first victim. Robin.

"Let us see now....waht had happened in that young mans dream......oh yes now i remember......."

"Whos there",taking out his bostaff,Show yourself!"

"It is being of only me Robin,do not be of any worry"an evil smirk across her face.

"Oh,hey Star arnt you supposed to be on patrol on the roof right now..i strictly inforced the combat plan to fallowed..,oh well i guess it doesnt matter theres noone here iv checked evrything..but there is someone i can sence it i know something is or was here"

"Yes Robin maybe perhaps but i do not think that they are having their presence here any longer...."

"But..."-placing her hand on his shoulder.

"Um ya Star..he said nervously looking at Stars hand.

Starfire-"Do you wish to stay here a minute with me ?"

Robin-"Wha- what Starfire?!-steps back

"Did you not hear me Robin,"walks closer

Starfire um are your eyes black?! You arnt Starfire what did you do with......-the dark figure changed back quickly placing its misty hand over Robins mouth

"You will see soon young titan but for now lets enter your mind for a while"an evil snicker escaped the figures mouth as it entered into Robins mouth disapearing within as Robin was left unconsious

starfire0639

12-14-2004, 06:39 PM

ME NOT MAD! how could i be i mean i finally posted my chapter yay!!!! i think i did to many details but i donno just tell me HELP ME OUT!!!:sweat: OK SO UM THATS BOUT IT TEHE.......oop caps!oh yea your just jelous cus i sound like a rockstar:p

rrarbecy

12-14-2004, 06:39 PM

You can never have too many details. THe only thing I can complain about is the fact that Cyborg has no "e."

Sproxie

12-14-2004, 06:47 PM

pretty good, but my only complaint is that you failed to keep the tense the same again...

A dark mist fills the area as Beast Boy and Raven searched it formed around them as if a cloud had landed beneth them as it turned to a hardned black bubble.Beast Boy keeps walking till he hits his head on the newly formed wall

and so on... otherwise good chapter. ;) though, I was slightly confused....:sweat:

Matt A

12-14-2004, 06:52 PM

Hmm, groovy...

That chapter was as sinister as the first one was funny. Which is saying quite a lot.

Yeah, I noticed the tense thing too, but it only happened once so there's no need to complain. Oh, and more commas would be good: gives the whole thing a much more even pace and makes it easier to read.

Now, before the whole constructive criticism/critical construction argument flares up again, I am not having a go. That chapter was f**king cool, and with a few minor changes to technique the next one will be even better!

starfire0639

12-14-2004, 06:55 PM

i promise ill pay more attention to that i just dont think about it but otherwise was it better or just as good or worse or was it eck i wanna know!and i dont understand why its confusing:sweat:oh wait a tick........the mate has approoved my chapter!!!yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay hahahahahahahah thanks so much i was nervous and thought it was gonna be stinky but yay someone likes it!!!:D

decka

12-14-2004, 06:56 PM

Horay!! Your chapter is done!! Only thing is that as said before Cyborg is spelled without an e and some grammer stuff but other than that snaps for you!!!!:D

Star_Fire_Chick

12-15-2004, 06:20 PM

More Chapters!plz That Was Most Wnderful

Starrysky

12-15-2004, 07:06 PM

Yay! Here's a comment...post soon! :anime:

I notiiced the tense thing too, and there were a few spelling errors...but otherwise it was very good! :D

rrarbecy

12-16-2004, 03:22 PM

No modern conveniences? AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH*runs off into the distance and into a brick wall.*

starfire0639

12-16-2004, 06:25 PM

NVM holiday aint till tuesday yay!!!!!:sweat:

Pookey

12-17-2004, 05:36 PM

I love this!!! :D
I didn't really notice the tenses till they were pointed out, but thats just me.:anime:
Who is this new character? The world may never know, until Ash tells us. BUT until then, dun dun duuun!!

starfire0639

12-19-2004, 01:16 PM

I love this!!! :D

Who is this new character? The world may never know, until Ash tells us. BUT until then, dun dun duuun!!lol hey guys sorry for being gone so long i was wrong bout the holiday it really was this weekend and now its over yay!:D and hahahah only i the writer almighty of the story ya thats me knows of who this villanous villan person is!wahahahahaahah ahahahahahaha ha um ok:sweat: im gonna go write the next chappie now so see ya guys l8ter!byez for now!:anime:

starfire0639

12-20-2004, 01:09 PM

OMG GUYS I AM SO SORRY THAT I HAVNT POSTED FOR SO LONG BUT HEY I AM SO DEFFINTLY MAKING IT UP RIGHT NOW THIS HAS TO BE LIKE MY ALL TIME LONGEST CHAPTER EVER SO I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE IT AND ARNT MAD AT ME.THINGS HAVE BEEN HECTIC WITH WORK AND SCHOOL AND I FINALLY GOT TO WRITE 2 NIGHTS AGO AND GUESS WHAT!I TOOK ALL OF YOU GUYS ADVICE AND WENT OVER MY FIC AND CHANGED IT ALOT!SO I HOPE YOU GUYS REALLLLLLLLLLY LIKE IT.PLEASE DONT BE MAD!PETTY PEAS!OH WELL HOPE YOUR NOT AND HERES THE LONG AWAITED CHAPTER.....ENJOY!HOPE YOU LIKE IT!

CHAPTER 3

"WHAT NOW?"

A dark circus entrance was all to be seen.A trapeze of some sort.A gun shot,a villan with mask of orange and black.Its empresion burned deep in his mind.A fire rushed in all derections...or were they lasors that were taking out the groundforce under the tower?A dark gloomy cave full of the high wailing screech of bats flying over head............Then silence and darkness once more.

"It seems as tho our young friends self consious is full.....full of many treats i can use to torment him.....what other wonderful things can we find to use against him in time?",the figure vanished to another rippling tide of Robin's unconsious mind only to appear once more in another faded memory.-

Robin was walking back and forth across his room waiting for her.His mind shook and he shivered a bit at what he was to do.Walkingout of his room and up to hers.

-knocks on door

"Hello!Who is it of being of knocking on my door please?!"

"Uh Star."

"Oh!I know of that voice very well!Robin what is it that you have come to my door for?"

"hehehe",laughs nervously-"Um I donno Star."blushing as he fiddled with his fingers and fixing his mask.He waited forver to do this."Perhaps"-he thought to himself-"it could consist of dinner and a movie,a romantic birdirang jump to a nearby building roof top to watch the stars.And that would be just there first date!Robin rubbed his face pulling it down ashamed out how dismayed and romantic he was being...so unlike him.Robin listened intently as he heard something of russtling stuffed animals and bedspreads being fixed and papers being rattled .Suddenly feet were heard as they reached the door quickly.He grew nervous with evry step swinging his arms faster and faster and faster and........

"Robin what is it that you have come to my door for?"she giggles as she opens the door...only to see a blank hallway with no boy wonder in sight.As if only in a dream he was once there about to ask the young girl what burned in his mind.His only weakness was her.A date of all things had turned the boy into a dimwitted runaway.

Robin quickly ran to his room slammint the door.Looking into his mirror he rolled his eyes.This vaguely reminded him of Raven for some reason.His first empression in the mirror was calm and disturbed.Robin hated that image abd with a stern look abnd heavily gripped fists he smashed it.

The image of Robin,the mirror,the sad girl leanign against the rim of her door,the broken hearts,was soon faded like all the other memories.

"So it is her,yes Robin?Hmmmm,it seems you arnt as numb as i thoght!"-laughing evily-"Deffintly not,especcialy around that dimwitted alien....It seems i have accomplished my mission for now at least.Expect of soemthign soon Robin,warn your friends,I wish to have a greeting party when i return as your fears....your angers ...your self consious brought to life!-With an evil snicker and an excerted snort on accident,the creaturesnapped leaving the unconsious Robin's mind to the outside in the still dark bank.

MEANWHILE.....

-SNORING-

"Beast Boy! BB wake up! The forcefeild is growing weaker.The evil must be leaving somehow.Beast Boy! Wake up!!!",with that she sends a shock surge of dark magic thru his body with her now awoken powers.

"OW!"God damnit Raven! Cant a guy get some freak'n sleep 'round here!

I mean common ,you barely let me gte any sleep last night anyway",with a wink he adds,"You owe me!

"I expect you to shut up now!Now can you please listen.The blockade is growing thinner.We might be able to breka thru with force and search for the other titans."

"I get what your saying Rae! I so very deffintly know hwo to do that!",with a wierd smile and a raised eyebrow BB changed to an elephant raming its head into the unsteady forcefeild as Raven silently chanted AZARATH MENTRION ZENTHOS building up her energy for the final blast to the wall.

BB-"Hey can you help out a little,my heads kinda's like hurting!

Raven-"Hows that?There's nothing in it to be rattled",she said calmly as her eyes suddenly grew red and a powerful energy and the swift Azarathian words busted the barrier releasing them.

BB-"WOW Raven!Your hands are like magic or something!

Raven-"Like you didnt know that already?"with a smirk blushing a bitshe continued,"We need to find the others.I'll check the inside ,you go look for Cyborg and Starfire skyborn.Maybe they wernt attacked.Ok now um........."

BB-"Ya need to say it Rae!"

Raven-"Will me embarrising myself make you leave me alone and you'll search?"

BB-"Like cha!of course!",quickly nods his head knwoing it was a false promise.

Raven-"Fine.......Teen........-gulp-....TITANS GO!",with that she vanishes thru the ground leaving a dent from her embarresment left in the pavement.

BB-laughing continueslly.Morphs into a bird of some kind and flies up to the roof only to see a frozen robot and alien girl.

"CYBORGE!STARFIRE! Guys wake up!",looks down at Starfire only to see comic book spirals in her eyes and quickly snaps his fingers."There in a trance i know they are!What always snaps me outs a trance common i know this!Think Beast Boy think........"-a small explosion goes of in his head-"I got it!starfire always makes me laugh!"Thats no prob ill just make her laugh.How do i do that?"

"Ok Star!"holds her up by her arms-"Ok Star listen carefully-*cough*-"What does a glorphogorgeshnot say to a brebolgen dorphite that ate his morphlogogelplot?..........SHNOG!"

-no response-

Beast boy looks down at Stars eyes only to see his arms trremble a bit form Starfire's weight

"Dang Star maybe you should lay off the snacks for a while your getting kinda fat!"

Suddenly wqithout any hesitantion Starfire's eyes opened and with that first breath she grips her hand around Beast Boys throat."What was that that you said BEAST BOY!"

*cough*nothing Star ..it was nothing it was just my um....plan to wake you...ya!it was my plan!

"OH ok dear friend i am sorry for the hurting of your throat that i have caused"

"No prob but hey wait...Oh yeah we gotta wake Cyborg"

'Oh yes we must.Maybe perhaps a shock to his battery will awaken him!?"

"Go for it Starfire."-stands there hyper with nothing else to do.

"OK i will if i must....."with that she lifts her hand and shoots a star blast with hands and eyes glaring a green halo that lit up the roof as it connected to Cyborg's chest

Cyborg- !WHOA!what'd i miss!-he sits up quickly staring at Bb and Star with a quick jolt from the extra energy

MEANWHILE IN THE BANK........

Raven -"Robin,Robin are you there!?"~no response~

She quickly walks to a teller counter and sits on the edge cross legged and levitated.

"If you cant find my voice,then i have to find you......lets start our search.Azarath.......mentrion......zen...thos-she opens her eyes slightly and sees thru Robin's but only sees darkness.She searches his thoughts and sees there all out of sorts

"Someone has been in here"she searches around his mind seeing every memory evry moment in Robin's life thrown against the walls.

A loud moan comes from behind the counter

Raven-"AAAAAAAAAAH!",Raven's highstrung scream had exploded a cash register in the background

Robin-"shhhhh! Raven its only me.It's Robin.

"Oh Robin,i didnt sense you.Your mind was as blank as Beast Boy's."

"Raven i,i dont know what happen......"

"What is it Robin,what happened"

"There was someone here"-points to his head standing up shakily moving towards Raven.

"In your head?"

"He copied all my thoughts,he knows evrything about me.Everything i had thought.He took a copy of everything that i am, everything thats ever happened to me!"shakes his head still feeling the creatures presence in his mind.

"Im sure that he cant do anything with those memories Robin.What thoughts could be so dangerous about your absitminded thoughts Robin?Nothing of major impotance is going on in your mind but Starfire",resisting smirking

"Maybe Raven thats true but hey...........thats not true!"

Starts thinking out the scenario and thinks of how and why the creature would enter into Robins mind.Stares sterned face and looks at Robin"What are your weaknesses Robin?"

"What!Why do you ask Raven?I dont got any,never have!"shakes his head knowing its a lie

"I need you to tell me the truth Robin!Maybe it will help me with tracking this dark thing down!"

With that a rumble then a distant scream was heard on the roof.Raven and Robin look up knowing of who it came from

~Robin-"STARFIRE!!!"~

:sweat: so come on tell me!ya i knwo its so totally long but i thought maybe i should do that to make up for being gone so long!hope you guys liked it!im all out of evil right now lol i didnt think that was possible im spent hahaha so come on tell me!feedback please!i need it!!!oh yeah peace<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

decka

12-20-2004, 01:52 PM

What happened to Star?? I need to know! Love the ch. post more soon!

rrarbecy

12-20-2004, 02:06 PM

ooooooh. Still, only 1 gripe. Cyborge=sy-boor-j
Cyborg=sy-bor-g

starburn1116

12-20-2004, 03:42 PM

ooooooh. Still, only 1 gripe. Cyborge=sy-boor-j
Cyborg=sy-bor-gwhat?
that was so great
i saw no grammer errors but my eye is not that trained

u made me happy

rrarbecy

12-20-2004, 07:12 PM

what?
that was so great
i saw no grammer errors but my eye is not that trained

u made me happy
I'm sorry, but how do you not notice that Cyborg has been spelled with an "e" at the end. I don't mean to be annoying...

starfire0639

12-20-2004, 07:34 PM

but you are:D sorry just had to finish that sentence hahaha wait a tick i enevr once in that whole chapter did i spell cyborg wrong!so why the heck are you correcting it ya i know i spelled it wrong in chapter two thats why i didnt do it in this one:sweat: ok ok ok *rolls eyes*but becy did you like my chapter should i keep writing like that say soemthign that i can use to improve it please

rrarbecy

12-20-2004, 07:53 PM

starfire0639

12-20-2004, 08:10 PM

Hey, you little cheater! You edited! Anyway, I did say that was my ONLY gripe, meaning that I LOVE everything else. And please, call me DJ.hmmm okidokie dj sounds cool and ya i edited so you cant stop me nene:anime: hahaha and yay!ya's love its!

rrarbecy

12-20-2004, 08:36 PM

hmmm okidokie dj sounds cool and ya i edited so you cant stop me nene:anime: hahaha and yay!ya's love its!
HA! SHE ADMITS IT!! I win:D

starfire0639

12-20-2004, 08:53 PM

hahahahahah ya! lol edit is my freidn so i use it therfore i do not have to continusly look at the fluff i have cuased and i cmbine all my posts into one simple one:anime:

Star_Fire_Chick

12-21-2004, 01:40 PM

i know your chapter was awesome!what happened to star i must know!

starfire0639

12-21-2004, 02:22 PM

i still kinda want more popel to post what they thought i didnt gte that many rplys last time and i kinda want more so i got the chappie waiting to be written but wont post it till more peeps write:sweat:

decka

12-21-2004, 02:28 PM

Staller!! It not us i's u!!! lol sorry bout that:D I think your fic is mad sexy just like cd! *sizzle*:D

Matt A

12-21-2004, 06:58 PM

Crowgirl

12-21-2004, 07:15 PM

I think I am what you would call, confused.

Please clear some stuff up!!

starfire0639

12-21-2004, 08:08 PM

Okay, that chapter was cool...

How BB managed to get Star to wake up was pretty funny: calling a pretty girl "fat" always get their attention! I usually try and get the pretty girls to at least like me, so I've never really tried that, but hey ho.

Oh, and the edit button is indeed divinely inspired. Long live the edit button!hahaha ya se thgats why i made it bb saying that not only cus hes insensitive to a girls feelings but hey hes kinda like the most imature titan!so hey she was unconsious and he said it therfore it got her attention and she got out of the trance:D he didnt know that would wake her up!i love the edit button!and please do tell me what is confusing ill try my best to make it well...understandable:sweat: um....all i got to say is you guys arnt gonna like me when i post the next chapter its just a fair warning ok!um thats bout it ill wait for you to tell me what is coinfusing!and i shall fix tehe and decka!cool wouldnt like you calling out his name in here or would he ....i donno:shrug: so oks!

starfire0639

12-23-2004, 08:01 PM

hey guys um....i wont be posting my next chapter soon my gramps suffered like a huge stroke and im gonna be spending as much as my time as i can at the hospital so maybe ill be writng it i dont know evrythings kinda streesed over the edge right now...so um check ya guys soon.l8terz yo bud ash:crying:

Matt A

12-24-2004, 07:56 AM

Good luck! I hope that everything turns out okay!

starfire0639

12-25-2004, 05:50 AM

hey im back and pops i doing welll...ok for the moment so im gonna be writing while im in the hospital sorry that its taking so long i really am and thanks mate:D hugs*

Matt A

12-25-2004, 04:10 PM

*hugs back*:D

starfire0639

12-27-2004, 12:01 PM

ok guess what people i have been freakn inspired!i will totally have the next chapter full and evrything tomorrow night so sit tight and you shall get what you have waited for or not but....oh well your gonna sit down and read it!:evil:

Star_Fire_Chick

12-28-2004, 09:54 AM

o ya!i cant wait!_dances arounds then hits a wall-oww... but i still cant wait!

starfire0639

12-28-2004, 10:59 PM

DEAR FREINDS I AM SORRY THAT I HAVNT WRITTEN FOR SO LONG BUT EVRYTHINGS BEEN SO HECTIC AND IV FINALLY GOT A COUPLE HOURS TO WRITE THIS CHAPTER WHICH IM GLAD THAT I DID NOTE THAT THIS CHAPTER IS KINDA LIKE A GATEWAY WITHOUT THIS HORRIBLY CONFUSING ONE I CANT DO ALL THE OITHER TERRIBLY CONFUSING ONES IN THE FUTURE HEHE SO DONT GET MAD AT ME IF THIS GETS YOU(IF I HAVNT SAID IT ENOUGH)CONFUSED THEN YOU ALREADY ARE-NERVOUS-SO OK HOPE YOU ENJOY AND IF THERE IS ANYTHING THAT CONFUSES YOU ABOUT IT THEN YA KNOW WHAT TA DO OK READ ON!

CHAPTER 4

WHY!whenHOW!where

Robins eyes open mroe clear now as he quickly shouts for Raven to teleport them to the roof .Raven quickly nods and with a form of a black raven they dispaear to the abis then to the roof only to see two stunned freinds.

Beast Boy and Cyborg stood stunned at where Starfire was once stanced looking over the city for the evil doer.

"Where is she. Where the hell is Starfire?! If that thing did anything to her I swear I'll rip this city apart to find her....!"

The others just stared on as they watched there terrified leader walk back and forth frantically.They had never seen him act this way before. Yes, in past cases he has always been foot in step in protecting his teammates but this was more intense.

Yes, it was of the same grafic a team mate was in trouble but as the others noticed with great punctuation ....it was starfire that was gone and they knew exactly why that made their terrified leader stunned at the missed person.

Raven-"Calm down Robin!Being frantic isnt going to help anything. We need to figure out what happened Beast Boy, Cyborg. Can you please tell us as detailed as you can...?"looks up from her shaded hood-"What happened?"

BB-"Well Raven there was this thing and it swooped down and Star went all screaming and then I fainted and there was this smoke and then i saw Cyborg shortcurcut but there wernt any sparks an...and...my brain hurts..."

Cyborg-"Ya, what he said."

Robin only looked over the city and with a final glimpse of the others he jumps off the roof and shoots a birdarang to the nearest pole hanging from the close building.He wasnt going to wait for some mediocre detail of how she was taken away.If there was anything going to get done then it needed to be done by him.

Where would she be.........

"Where the hell does he think hes going! Arnt we gonna like fallow him or something!"-said Beast Boy pulling at his hair.

Cy-"No man.Ya know how he gets.Well he gets but never like this...maybe you and raven can search around the back and on the grounds. I'll search the perimeters of the city with my scanner........ Maybe we can find Starfire."

Beast boy and Raven quickly nodded as they took foot on the grounds and Cyborg walked back inside with the scanner ready.

Robin's whole body shook with what was happening....all of a sudden a flash came foward in his mind .A trapeze. Robin's whole body froze with sadness as he quickly caught the threading birdarang and set down onto the street.

"What was that?"-Robin's face was red and he quickly had another dream but it was with Starfire. He became flustered as he heard the mockery of his friends.

"Robin what is it that is wrong!Why are you becoming wet with sweat Robin!"-an image of Starfire came running foward picking his arm up," Please Robin speak!"

"Starfire! Starfire! Is that you!?"

"Yes Robin it is. I shall ask why are you gliding on the roof tops?"-giggles and leans foward kissing him on the cheek.

What!?"-Robin blushed quickly but his look turned grimace-"You arnt Starfire....."

"What is this that you speak of?"

Shakes his head" Im sorry Star......common lets get the others."-he knew in his mind that this couldnt be Starfire. He didnt know the feelings for her yet alone hers. How could she be showing feelings towards him! This was almost like his dream but only.....

"Yes Robin lets do"

"Ok Star hold on .I dont want you to be flying after being thru all that."

-Starfire grabs onto Robins waist as he lifts them off the ground and quickly raises them to the nearest building edge.They land and Robin lets go of Starfire but to soon before she can get her grip on the cement.

"Robin!!!!"-Starfire quickly fell off the edge and was falling quick.

A distant scream and a distant thud was heard.

Robin looked off the edge numb with dispair his breath was warn out and couldnt speak but one word..........

"STARFIRE!!!!!!"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~

A quick flask went thru his mind as Raven was sitting in front of him.

"Starfire! Starfire! Where is she! Is she ok !Why arnt you guys on patrol finding her!?"

"Robin I dont know what your talking about calm down .Cyborg and BB are on the roof and we heard the scream remember?Remember? Robin snap out of it! We need to get to the roof. We need to find out what happened."

"But Raven I did find her...she was on a roof and she fell"-tears came out of his eyes warm as they dripped from his mask remembering in full detail the fallen star that was his. He remembered the grimacing look on her face the full detail of hate and the fractured limbs as they layed there not moving he remembered .Well he thought...........

"Robin you havnt done anything. You'v been unconsious ever sense we heard Starfire's scream .You fell and were unconsious. I saw that if i tried to heal you it would only cause brain injuries. Its been 5 minutes since then .We dont even know if Starfire is missing.Why would you think that? We need to get to the roof to find out why she screamed. Why,what happened?"

"Its nothing Raven"-he quickly wipes his eyes before she could see -"We need to figure out what happened to starfire now!"

Without waiting for Raven,Robin runs out of the bank and shoots a birdarang from his belt hooking it to the landing where Beast boy and Cyborg stood-he then runs up to them knowing exactly what Beast Boy was going to say or at least think he was going to say.

"Beast Boy!"-points to the ground in front of him telling Beast Boy to come foward. BB did as he was comanded a sproited a tail between his knees.

"You tell me what happened now." Robin says staring down at the sad and frightened friend.

"Well Robin, there was this thing and it swooped down and Star went all...."-before BB could finish Robin gripped his hand under the cuff of BB's shirt.

"You need to explain better Beast Boy!"-Robin's teeth were showing as he fealt the tremors go thru his friends chest.

"Dude put me down! I didnt do anything I was trying to explain!"

No matter how hard BB tried he couldnt loosen the grip "Cyborg help!"

"Robin!Man put Beast Boy down!"

Cyborg tried to ready a sysmic blast but was to late. Robin had already let go and dashed off of the roof .He knew were he was going but didnt .

"I will find you Starfire and whoever this creep thats going to hurt you is.......hes not going to hurt you......."-with that he started running instead of sailing over the buildings and lands tripping over himself.

A dark figure forms in front of Robin snickering as he dwelled over the entire roof.

"Robin, Robin I had expected more from you .The boy wonder of all sorts. I had expected much more but this........ this is just disapointing. Tsk tsk all i have to say to you is basically nothing !You know nothing at all of my plan with your freind Starfire or shall I say more than a freind Robin?-snickers once more-"You must understand Robin, I mean no harm to your memories but those of them that I have created....just for you well lets just say ill do as much discorce as I wish to them...I control them. I can change them in every way possible. Just try me...... Lets see. What was that one dream ?I had made one just for you I know it had to do something with that circus I saw .Aaaah yes! Robin I remember."

Robin just stood on his knees listening to the creature babble hoping that he would say something out of his moment of mockery that he could use later.

"So you dont want to hurt my friends you just want to distroy me...."

The creature walked closer forming a dark cloud around Robins head-"Ah no Robin, I see you still know nothing of what I wish to do.Very sad indeed very much so....after all of this you still have no clue..................."-the creature walks even closer chanting and moving its hands as a cloud as seen before forms around the boy wonder.The cloud supresses as Robin tries to blow it away but to no avail the cloud squeezes his head flashing as Robin becomes unconsious once more.A cackle was heard as the creature dashed off the rooftop.

"I only wish to detroy everything thats formed you as a person everything in your deep subconsious..... everything that mad the Robin everyone worships today......"-an evil stare came out form under the dark creatures glance as it departed.

Robin heard nothing of the creatures a plot. All that was to be seen by Robin was the floating trapeze ,a falling couple ,a trapped child falling away from his family-the memories had not been distorted but only repeated as the boy winced in pain at the memory over and over and over again..........

welll common tell me did i do good im not sure i did i think i did like horribly but i donno *sweat drop*phew i didnt think it could actually happen but its hard trying to be evil except i dont have to try that hard tehe hahahaha well common feedback must know common tell me!and hoped ya like it!and i hope that it wasnt so stinky that you needed to hold your nose the whole fic thru:sweat: :sweat:

Star_Fire_Chick

12-28-2004, 11:11 PM

:eek: -gasps!-you...must..write..more...i must knows what happened to starfire,great job i loved it

Pookey

12-29-2004, 03:13 AM

:eek: that smilie should cover it...no, not enough. I know this one is closer http://67.18.37.17/1543/23/emo/eek2.gif (javascript:add_smilie()i loved it, why does every one say its confusing? i understand it perfectly...i saw just a few spelling errors, but you cannt correst them all. :D trust me, i know

Matt A

12-29-2004, 05:59 AM

Yeah, I did sopt a fair few spelling errors and whatnot, but that only added to the general brain-messing powers of this chapter: I understand it all perfectly, but it still has the effect of smashing my mind out of my ears with a toffee hammer. Anyway...:sweat:

starfire0639

12-29-2004, 04:12 PM

hahaha thanks i try my best and what is that hammer you speak of please anyone who reads this please post your comments!

Matt A

12-29-2004, 05:53 PM

What is that hammer you speak of?
It's a small rubber hammer. God knows what it's used for, and even if it's actually called a toffee hammer, but it's just a term that I happen to like. Anyway...:sweat:

Lord Welshi

12-29-2004, 10:49 PM

To be honest,any and all critiscisms i have had have already been covered by just about everyone else. So all i can say without repeating others is i'm enjoying this, and please continue.

Lord Welshi

starfire0639

01-02-2005, 11:53 AM

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
y!-ya i know this is total fluff and im sorry just im so happy right now not onlky cus i have figured out a perfect idea for the next chapter but alas <3!hehehehe only he who knows what i speak of-hearts in eyes-yay!:anime:

K-dog

01-02-2005, 01:09 PM

your doing good on it:D keep it going

Pookey

01-02-2005, 02:31 PM

i see your bf joined ash!
hey!
ash, quit tortureing us, please update!

K-dog

01-03-2005, 07:31 PM

rey! baby your here i love you so much!im so glad that u finally joined guys this is him this is my boyfreind!!!!!:anime: yay your opinion matters the most to me rey thank you!im happy to hear that my opinion matters alot to you,:D and sry i was gone so long. i promise when i leave. ill check on the storys ok, keep writing, i want to see what happends next

decka

01-03-2005, 10:09 PM

Hey everybody! My bestest bud ever starfire0639 has asked me to tell you all that she can't post her new chapter, actully I don't think she can post at all. You see her computer is restricted and she can't use it. It is horrible for her, I mean living with no computer! I couldn't do it. lol. So anyways this means that u might not hear from her for awhile. So you all better be the paient little girls and boys I know you can be! Luv ya all-Deming

K-dog

01-03-2005, 10:33 PM

man, her story was good too. now that shes gone what do we do? just wondering. im new to this so i have no idea

decka

01-03-2005, 10:48 PM

She's not gone silly! She will just be out for a while. She is comming back. All you have to do is wait. I know it's hard, but you'll all manage. lol:D

Pookey

01-04-2005, 05:26 PM

i don't know if i can wait, but ill try. for her!
this is going to be hard...:sweat:

Matt A

01-04-2005, 06:35 PM

Join the club!

K-dog

01-04-2005, 10:13 PM

i got some good news and some bad news, the bad news its that starfire0639(ashley) wount be on till tommaro, the good news is that i just saved a bunch of money on my car insuance by switching to geico, 15 minutes or less can save you 15% or more on car insurance

starfire0639

01-05-2005, 03:21 PM

Pookey

01-05-2005, 05:40 PM

yeah ash is posting soon!! woot woot you're a bad girl, good job!
i thought it was funny...

starfire0639

01-06-2005, 06:15 PM

sniffles*i am most sorry freinds but there will be no new chapter up tonight im going to go and spend some time with my gramsp in the hospital and hes more important to me then some fic (no offense to anyone)so im off wish me luck so i dont start balling in the hospital room

Matt A

01-06-2005, 06:30 PM

Good luck!

Don't worry, real life is much more important than this place.

K-dog

01-06-2005, 08:35 PM

Good luck!

Don't worry, real life is much more important than this place.thats so true. hey ashley i hope your grandpa is ok. i wish you more luck than all the ppl here put together:D bye ash and ttyl

starfire0639

01-06-2005, 10:51 PM

hey guys im back and its late i just wanted to come on and say gramps is fine hes got a new iv and all:sweat: ick that was horrid and he says hi to evryone im gonna start writing for my fic for some reason the next chapter was supposedto be sad and dramatic and thats just how i feel right now so i donno maybe thatll be my inspriation perhaps oh well maybe will maybe not im sorry im making you guys wait so long just im trying to get evrything back in order my grades and all and i seem to be heading in the right deriction i hope so ok b on the lookout for the next chapter i hope i get it up by this weekened no.i will get it up by this weekend!*huggles to all*im out peace

K-dog

01-07-2005, 07:15 PM

the story is soon to come, .,.,.,.,.i hope:D...why must you keep me waiting for so long ash? what did i ever do to you? lol

starfire0639

01-09-2005, 02:48 PM

um hehe*hides*um b4 u guys hurt me id juts like to say that im fianlly not busy and um the chapters almost done its really cool and im working hard so please dont be mad at me*waves white flag*i really am sorry that im making you wait so long:sweat:

Pookey

01-09-2005, 10:26 PM

* puts down rocks

its ok Ash...we can wait a little while longer *grumbles, "now what am I suppose to do with all these rocks??

starfire0639

01-10-2005, 05:35 AM

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!u guys omg i stayed up til midnight last night and guess what!i finished it!it finished chapter 5 its a really long one so its going to be a 2 parter a cliffhanger type of thang tehe um one thing bout it with this chapter youll either skin me and hang me on a pole or adore me with a shrine depends really um after i get home from school ill emediatly get on the comp and start writing and this is a promise made from the ash.i will get part one of the chapter up!hehehe well ok i got to go to school now man high school sucks..........did i just say that outloud? ah well bye you guys and i look foward to posting my chapter today! yaya im so proud of myself:anime:

Starrysky

01-10-2005, 07:35 AM

Hi!:D I haven't read this in a while because I was out on vacation...so....

All possible critisizm has already been taken...You have improved a lot...and I can't wait for your next chapter. :D

starfire0639

01-10-2005, 06:05 PM

HEY GUYS DID YA MISS ME IM SO SORRY THAT IV BEEN GONE SO LONG AND I REALLY DO HOPE THAT THIS CHAPTER MAKES UP FOR IT I WORKED REALLY HARD I THINK TILL 3 AM I HOPE THAT MAKES IT A GOOD THING AND NOT A BAD THING UM I THINK ITS GOOD BUT HEY IM NOT THE CRITICS UM......................THE ONLY THING I REALLY GOT TO SAY IS THIS CHAPTER IS NOT FOR THE WEAK MINDED YOU REALLY GOT TO THINK AND WITH THAT ALL WILL COME INTO MINE WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT SORRY FOR THE PEEPS THAT HATE TO THINK BUT AFTER YOU UNDERSTAND AND STUFF ITS REALLY COOL WELL OK I KNOW YOU GUYS HAVE WAITED ENOUGH ALREADY .......................HERE'S THE CHAPTER ENJOY!!!OH YEAH AND THIS IS ONLY PART ONE OF CHAPTER 5 HEHEHE.

?
WHEN
H
E
R
E
?

"NO!.....please dont!"-tears streamed down from the young child's eyes.

He was the only one that really knew what happened.His eyes were blue but shined of red from his sobbing.They glimmered blue............almost like Rob........

"NO!"

-the scared child ran to what evreyone ignored to see.Two limp lumps were seen as the last few tremors executed thru their bodies and their spirits left.The boy let out a silent cry as he knelt down kissing the woman's cheek

."Why.........?"

The boys final words flashed and a red light was seen.He fainted falling next to his parents.

"Why.................?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey guys!Have you spotted Robin or Star anywhere?"

"No Cyborg.We checked thru the dowtown main area and thru the park .........nothing"

"Hey! I'm here too! Let me talk!"-a push and a sigh or heard in the background supposedly form Raven as a ruffled noise and a girly scream came form Beast Boy

"What BB?MY cannon communicator is breaking up so hurry."-Cy rolls his eyes having no intent on not hearing anything smart come from BB's mouth.

"Um......................hey"

The communicator beeped and the signal was lost leaving the neanderthal changeling and demon girl apart from their robotic freind.

"Well.either you bugged him to the point so bad that he would risk his life by turning off his device or his signal really did die"-Raven turned her head staring at bb dryly with a cold stare.

"Oh shut it Raven!Or i'll shut your signal!-Beast Boy stepped foward not noticing his temper.

"Wanna try that?-Raven stood straight now hovering to BB while a pair of four blood red eyes stared down at him.

"Uh .........hehe..um nono! Course not!Ya know i love's ya baby!"with a quick thumbs up and sude step off BB left Raven by herself as she changed back to normal.Well.....as normal as she could get.

"What has happened?OH!My head it feels as a rock was thrown at.........it.Where in the zorgnorph am i!?!"

-With a croaky sweet voice and heavy breath the young girl stands up .

"Cyborg!Raven!Beast Boy!............Robin!"

-she scream continuesly trying to find her freinds.No response.

She walks thru the dark place.A heavy heart beat is heard in the distance echoing and bouncing off the walls.It rings in her ears.

"Who is that?"

She walks towards a light in the middle of the dark room,star bolts ready to fire.

"People! Friend or foe?Anyone being of the here now? I do wish to be free now!Please anoyne here!........................AAAAAAAH!"

The girl falls to her knees as she grips her whole body in pain.

"What is happe.........happening!" the girl starts to see herself fade as does he memory.A silent flash goes off in her mind as she sees red and a roof..Robins terrified eyes.Her broken limbs.Then a surge of hurt again.

She grips her arms around her once more as she lays on the ground.Her eyes are scared as her heart races faster.

"where am i..............?What horrible place is this...........Robin?Help....................please help me...."

........................the young girl evryone knows as the Star,the wonderfully sweet girl,of the Teen Titans eye's closed.near death.on the verge.Almost lost............

"Robin........................................"

Starrysky

01-10-2005, 06:09 PM

Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! :eek:

You must continue! (By the way, you're improving quite a lot.)

Matt A

01-10-2005, 06:29 PM

Okay, that was even moretwisted that what you said you were going to do!Congratulations!:D !

The "interlude" thing was a nice touch, by the way.:D .

Pookey

01-10-2005, 08:44 PM

HOLY CRUD-MUFFINS(don't ask) That was...was...evil! Cliffys are bad, very bad...please update soon, I love this fic.! I can't wait for pt. 2.......

Star_Fire_Chick

01-10-2005, 08:59 PM

HOLY CRUD-MUFFINS(don't ask) That was...was...evil! Cliffys are bad, very bad...please update soon, I love this fic.! I can't wait for pt. 2.......:eek: you are evil!you HAVE TO WRITE MROE~

K-dog

01-10-2005, 11:36 PM

i would skin you but the fic is too good heh but the part about the narrator and raven talking was pretty.......yeah....but the rest was good:D :D :D KEEP WRITING

Crowgirl

01-11-2005, 04:02 PM

Okay, that was even moretwisted that what you said you were going to do!Congratulations!:D !

The "interlude" thing was a nice touch, by the way.:D .
Basically. I know I haven't posted here in a while, but everything I've wanted to say has already been said. You really are improving. Greatly, I might add...

CG

P.S. Oh yeah, post more as soon as you can, and since I know it's gonna be long.....:D

starfire0639

01-12-2005, 02:48 PM

aww thank you starry but i really dont see how iv improved at all maybe you guys see a difference but n0ot me and thanks mate i try and do more than what nim expected but member i never let anyone know the secret to my chapters so i had to throw you off somehow but thanks for the wonderful idea with star*tops hat off*and thanks for the compliment on the entro i thought i had made it like not understandable but i guess not:anime: pooky and star your wait is almost over and what was it rey*taps foot arms crossed*just in case your wondering i weould be the narroator im telling the story as it goes along and in the end youll know why but yes do tell what you mean by your pause rey!........ugh why must you push me to the point so very much.oh well it gears the fuel for the fire in this case i call my story and ash shoot crowgirl why you tell them it gonna be long!.ah well they should know that by now my chapters are always like 6 pages or so but this one is 12:D so yesh it is very long so ok im gonna get typing and get this chapter done so i can post soon oks luv ya guys and see ya tonight!

Pookey

01-14-2005, 08:00 PM

yeah!!! you know as soon as you post here ill post my ch!! hehehe!!!!

ShadowOfAGhost

01-17-2005, 09:55 AM

I'm currently reading this fic, just got to post 22 (a little while after chapter 1)

here is what I have to say

1. don't get defensive if we critique the chapters. We only intend to help and there were several things wrong with chapter 1. as you said, it's your first fic. we don't mean to put you down, we just want to try and help you improve!

2. This story seems to show great potential. The plot is interesting and could go very well.

3. yes, as every one else has said, the spelling and grammer do need work, but considering you're working with wordpad or notepad I can't realy blame you.

4. Yes they may be 16 or 17 and thus a but young but keep in mind two things. First, it was a dream. A GUY'S dream to be specific. second, it may seem a bit...naughty...but it's nothing compared to how far Lord Welshie took it.

overall, I would say you are doing well. I see enormous potential for improvment and expansion and I will continue to read this. I will post my response to each chapter (as I am currently a bit behind) and hopefully it will help you improve. also, If you want to you can forward your chapter to me before you post it and I can fix spelling and whatnot for you. I can also point out things you should add or remove before you post the chapter. until next chapter, good luck!:)

Review of chapter 2
I just read chapter 2 and there seems to be a major improvment in the writing. my only sticking points are these.

1. This is probably the easiest to fix, many times in your chapters (and your posts) you don't put a space after punctuation example: (Hello to you.He is a friend.) :>: should be: (Hello to you. He is a friend.) I did not take this from any part of the story, I just made up the example.

2. the other thing that could use work is the run on sentences. One of the easist ways to improve this is to read the sentence out loud. if you pause as you are reading it, add a comma. Also you can use the comma for dramatic effect. same thing with an elipse (...) it's like a mini cliff hanger.

I will post again after chapter three. considering that I am sitting down and reading this all at once I might end up stringing several posts together. I appologize if this bothers you or anyone else. I can go back later and incorperate them all into one post if you would prefer. Good work so far! work shows improvment!:)

Chapter 3 review (I swear I will concatonate these when I'm up to date!)
Excelent! Do you know what the word Exponential growth refers to? in the small scheme of things, exponential growth is small and hard to notice, however after a while the change is tremendous. for example:
2...4...8...16...32...64...128...256...512...1024
it starts off with slight increase but quickly grows to massive increase.

That is what I'm seeing with your story. You are improving at an exponential rate it would seem. the run on sentences are much better. your diction (word choice) seems to make things a little unclear at times, but overall it is very good. :)

Tripple Post!:sweat: I appologize! Will Concatonate them!

Chapter 4 review
see above about exponential growth. <copy> <paste>
here's my one bit of advice for this post:
common :>: not rare.
come on :>: follow, agree, what you have been trying to say.

Chapter 5 review

What can I say? anyone for a lynch mob? I'm finally caught up! Very good job with the last chapter. If you want to see how you've improved, read your first chapter and then read your most recent chapter. you WILL see a difference.

starfire0639

01-17-2005, 11:50 AM

thank you so much shadow-runs up and hugs him tight-really that mad eme feel so loved i really appreciate the info bout my chapters as for the whole critiquing thing ya thats over and done with and everyones buds now:D as for my chapter 5 and a half......my mom took my notebook with the chapter and i wont get it back till wednesday so i hope you guys can accept my apoligy for making you wait so long i realllly am sorryreally really really sorry and thanks again shadow!i never really noticed my work improving but now that iv read chapter 1 then my other half of chapter 5.wow you guys were right im glad that all of you are still sticking around and reading my fic and i promise that ill have my next half of chapter 5 soon!i promise h and thNK YOU FOR SAYING THAT MY WORK IS IMPROVING:D ............caps is evil ok im gonna go search for my chapter and talk to ya guys later hopefully ill have it up tongiht .ok byez guys love yas all!

ShadowOfAGhost

01-17-2005, 01:16 PM

Sure thing! that's what we're all here for! and bye the way...

two words: Backup. Notebook.
(in other words, keep a spare under your bed or something like that):)

your writing does still need a bit of work, don't get me wrong, but you have improved by leaps and bounds!

K-dog

01-22-2005, 01:35 AM

i agree with shadow about the backup thing. i keep my fics on my computer so they cant be taken away:D but anyway about the waiting....how much longer are you going to make me wait?? i just want to know cause this chapter got me addicted and i want to know what happends PLEASE TELL ME ASH...I BEG OF YOU...YOUR KEEPING ME OUT ON ALL THE GOOD STUFF:crying:

cityofdarkages
A.K.A CODA

starfire0639

01-22-2005, 01:05 PM

HEY GUYS UM...I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL FOR A WHILE ME NOT GRAMPS.JUST WANTED TO SAY IM SERIOUSLY SORRY I DIDNT WRITE FOR SO LONG AND I LEFT YOU GUYS HANGING...IV MISSED SO MUCH AND I AM REALLLLLLY SORRY-STEPS BACK TWITCHING-AND...IM GOING IN FOR SURGERY ON MONDAY SO...IM NOT GONNA BE ON FOR A WHILE AGAIN-HIDES ROLLING EYES-I WISH I DIDNT HAVE TO BUT...UGH!I HATE HAELTH CRAP AND STUFF BUT I LOVE YOU GUYS AND I HOPE YOU LOVE THIS CHAPTER...SO OK I WONT KEEP IT HELD UP ANY LONGER..........HERE YA GO!......UM.....PEACE!!!!

DUDE BUT......HOW?

"STARFIRE!!!!BB where's Star? What happened?!"
"Well dude ......."
"Thats not good enough!"
~~~~~~~~~

Running,jumping,catching,falling.....
Starfire!!!
darkness,tears,shadows......

The boy wonders mind went in circles.A revelation of memories .....or were they?.Everything was so real.He looked around intensely hearing his neck pop but what would he care.He fealt useless.he scanned the area one last time ready for the next unbearing memory of his unreliable past.

"Nothing.....theres absolutely freaking nothing here no escape! Theres...-grips onto his head pulling his hair-theres nothing just some dead lump or whatever over ..........-his eyes suddenly light up as he stands silently

"A girl how is there?-without even a moment to think his memories haulted as a suddeb jerk woke his mind leaving his body still numb.A purple glow came from her.Robin's eyes grew more clearly as he stood up fast and ran to her.

"Starfire!Starfire are you ok?!Star wake up!"

Robins eyes flooded as a memory of his parents,the fall,it crept into his head again.

"Damnit! Leave me the hell alone why are you hurting her?!"-no response had come and with that the boy looked at her once again.

"No!Not again please someone I love!Not again!

He hadnt noticed that he said love,maybe he did.Without a moments notice he fell to his knees putting his hands in a cpr position.

He placed his hands on the girls chest shuddering for a second but pushed it aside.

"1....2....3"

With no fault at all he places his mouth on hers.Nothing.

"Breath!Star your not dead yet!

With a heavy heart hge tried 3 more times.

"Starfire please wake up!Please..."

Tears soaked his mask so he quickly threw it off.He wouldnt let her see him this way.If she ever did see him.he was going to try one more time.

"1......2......3!"-a geavy thrust was put on her chest and Robin's alivened breath entered into her mouth.

"Please..."

He sat back up holding her hand"Please......your trying to take evrything from me you wont win!Take my brain for all i care.I'll just come back fighting!"

Robins cry of enderment as a shadow was cassed as a stern hand gripped onto his face pulling him down on top of her.The last moment Robins eyes twitched as he looked into her now awoken eyes.

"Starfire...."

"Robin...."-with one last breath and no thoughts in the matter she pulled him closer and closer looking into his eyes.She wipes away a tear and muffles her crys with one final breath.She turns him over on his back seeing him say nothing at all and laughing.She turns over with him.

"Um wernt you just unconsious......?"-he stays still.This is happeneing.Wait....

She moves around slightly showing a teenage love for a momentary five seconds.She lets go leaving his lips still pursed and eyes wide open stunned.

"Uh........wait Star are you ok?"

Her body started to shake as the glimpse in her eyes changed dramaticly.She closed her eyes and opened them to reveal the real Starfire.

"Robin!Robin it is me Starfire i mist be of the urgency to tell you of this news!I fear i am disapearing soon.Remember i am being alive.Remem......"

"Of course you are Star why wouldnt you be?-his mind wondered in the still venturing dream.

"Robin you must listen!"-the voice comes from nowhere but the extreme loudness makes Robin covers his ears and rub his eyes out of concentration.he lowered his hand only to feel the fibers from his mask and to see....nothing.

The was a rewind in the bckground and suddenly a dark room.Short snorts were coming form the sleeping damsel as Robin appeard in Starfire's room.

Robin quickly shook his head and looked around adjusting to the darkness.

"That was so real..but so was this."

He looked to his side only to see the sleeping star of his.

"She would be tired."

He rolls his eyes and laughs.A quick look around the room again had caught his glimpse of a dark,black fog forming around the rim of the closet.Robin dispatched his bostaff.

"Huh....whred the hell did this come from?"

Without any more noise he walked closer.One more step...

Robins crys couldnt be heard as a large misty hand reached up from below the door and formed around robins mouth griping it tight and pulling him under.

"Dear dear dear dear Robin...why is it now that you wish to enter my game hmm?Why couldnt you let me finish you off without any enteruptions?Like you,...that brat Starfire and you!How did you do that!?!How did she turn into your dream?!Explain to me now boy!"

Robins gaurd was put up bostaff locked in front of him but shakingly enough it fell from his hands.

"What the hell are you talking about?it was only a dream and.......How would you know about it!?Who the hell are you?"

Robins mind raced again as he remembered.

"........What have you done with Starfire!?!"

The creature looked at Robin and smirked.The closet door vanished and the dark figure alone.

"You will see Robin....or not."-the creatures eye twitched and with a red grimacing look he vanished completly leaving a mist in the air leaving Robin on his own.He was numb.

"That kiss was real...."was the only thought in his mind as he stood in perpetual darkness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Help me..."

hmmm well ok i think im done and there ya go-smile-i hope you guys arnt to stunned to speaki worked really hard on this and i hope you guys liked it.ya see i wasnt kidding when i said this was going to gte confussing-smile again-but as for me im enjoying every minute that i can twist your minds and give ya headaches.and now im babbling bout absolutly nothing so ok glad ya liked it well unless you didnt......-awkward silence-ah ok um going to bed now goodnighties hoped ya loved adored and want to make out with my fic..............ok im shutting up now

ShadowOfAGhost

01-22-2005, 01:08 PM

you're afraid that we would be mad because you were in the hospital?:confused: why would you think that?

This chapter is awsome! good job!

Matt A

01-22-2005, 01:10 PM

Well yes, that was confusing, but in a cool way.:D

Good luck with the hospital stuff!

Pookey

01-22-2005, 02:34 PM

awesome ch ash!!!

i hope everything turns out well for you at the hospital! ill pray for you!!!

K-dog

01-22-2005, 08:04 PM

that chapter was......how can i say it? it made me think of the real thing like it was acually happening, wow that just made me speechless but wow is all i can get out of my mouth. Good job ash

cityofdarkages
A.K.A coda

rrarbecy

01-22-2005, 08:56 PM

awkward silence-ah ok um going to bed now goodnighties hoped ya loved adored and want to make out with my fic..............ok im shutting up now

[/b][/color][/size][/font]
Well, I wouldn't go THAT far, but it's good.

ShadowOfAGhost

01-22-2005, 10:05 PM

ill pray for you!!!
As will I.

and by the way... the only reason I would have to get mad would be because you are in florida where the sun is shining and the temperature is above freezing.:p

rrarbecy

01-22-2005, 10:31 PM

As will I.

and by the way... the only reason I would have to get mad would be because you are in florida where the sun is shining and the temperature is above freezing.:p
1. Me too.

2. Amen. I swear to God there's a foot of snow out there.

ShadowOfAGhost

01-22-2005, 11:45 PM

I swear to God there's a foot of snow out there.I've got 6-8 inches (roughly)

Crowgirl

01-23-2005, 10:08 AM

I swear to God there's a foot of snow out there.
Me too. There goes my basketball game....

Oh well, I agree with all the above comments about the story. You seem to be improving a ton, and this is mashing my mind!!

Can't wait for more!

CG

rrarbecy

01-23-2005, 11:20 AM

I'm happy. More than a foot of snow. That means the Eagles will win. YAY!

starfire0639

01-23-2005, 01:47 PM

hahaha thank you guys so much i didnt think youd be mad at me just i hate not talking to you guys hospitals suck!ah well back to the fic thank you all im trying to make this the most undertsandable as i can but i dont think the same as you guys do so its like i totally understand it and its funny seeing you guys have to think but thats also a good thing cus in my fic i wanted it to have to make you think its a thinking type of thang:D um..........haha wheather here in florida is awsome!its like its sunny and all but its like freazing!cant go surfing which sucks but cant do it anyway cus of sickness thing........ugh!god im like totally spamming while im in recovery ill be working on my next chapter so look out for it all i gots to say is thank you all for worrying but dont do it to much just keep smiling and stuff dont know why i would ask that but oh well im not sure why i say a lot of stuff.... conundrum....i think im done and hope to talk to you all soon!peace

ShadowOfAGhost

01-23-2005, 04:11 PM

I know you said you had been having cramps, but what exactly did the doctors say you had to be opperated on for? if it was cramps then I would guess appendicitis.

K-dog

01-25-2005, 11:48 PM

you guys are going for the eagles GO PATS<< thats my team, GO TOM BRADY WOOT WOOT WOOT, i hope you feel better in the hospital:D my prayers and wishes are with you ash, take care and again, GO PATS WOOT WOOT WOOT

cityofdarkages
A.K.A CODA

Pookey

01-26-2005, 06:59 AM

You are an awesome writer Ash! I'll pray for you!!

GO PATRIOTS!!!!! WOOT WOOT!!

rrarbecy

01-26-2005, 07:40 AM

WE'RE OVERRUN!!!!!!!! TO THE LINC!!!!!! *runs off to join fellow Eagles fans.*

Crowgirl

01-26-2005, 06:27 PM

Sorry Rrarbecy.....

GO PATS!!!!!!

We've done it twice, and we'll do it again!

And honestly, I'm not a huge football fan, but I like cheering for my team. BUt who doesn't? :anime:

rrarbecy

01-26-2005, 07:19 PM

That's okay. The harder you cheer, the harder I laugh when we win.:evil:

Crowgirl

01-26-2005, 07:24 PM

You know what DJ? I'll make a bet with you that the Pats will win. With what happens to the loser, I don't know yet, I have to think about it.... :evil:

rrarbecy

01-26-2005, 07:38 PM

You know what DJ? I'll make a bet with you that the Pats will win. With what happens to the loser, I don't know yet, I have to think about it.... :evil:
Fine Cynthia/Caroline/Chloe/...ALL OTHER NAMES BEGINNING WITH C!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Crowgirl

01-26-2005, 07:41 PM

Excellent... :D :eek: :evil: :anime: :p

rrarbecy

01-26-2005, 07:45 PM

E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES!!!!!!!!

Crowgirl

01-26-2005, 07:56 PM

Feel free to post spam, I'm sure Star0639 (She is the author, right? :sweat: ) will be very pleased. :D

ShadowOfAGhost

01-26-2005, 07:59 PM

R-A-V

erm...

E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES!!!!!!!!

K-dog

01-28-2005, 10:50 PM

Feel free to post spam, I'm sure Star0639 (She is the author, right? :sweat: ) will be very pleased. :Dyes you are right CG and to all the others who are spamming she has a little messgae for you "STOP SPAMMING OR ALL SHALL DIE A SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH" ....well i just added the death thing for fun but she told me to tell all to stop spamming and she will be ok...i hope

cityofdarkages
A.K.A CODA

P.S GO PATRIOTS WOOT

rrarbecy

01-28-2005, 11:02 PM

yes you are right CG and to all the others who are spamming she has a little messgae for you "STOP SPAMMING OR ALL SHALL DIE A SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH" ....well i just added the death thing for fun but she told me to tell all to stop spamming and she will be ok...i hope

cityofdarkages
A.K.A CODA

P.S GO PATRIOTS WOOT
I think I need to call for backup...

ShadowOfAGhost

01-28-2005, 11:34 PM

I hope she feels better soon! CODA, pass on our regards.

rrarbecy, you have yourself a sniper on the rooftop.:cool:

K-dog

01-29-2005, 01:57 AM

I hope she feels better soon! CODA, pass on our regards.

rrarbecy, you have yourself a sniper on the rooftop.:cool:
i will be happy to do that but as we wait she told people to stop spamming on her thread so please grant her that with and you will all make her(and me) happy

K-dog

01-29-2005, 01:57 AM

I hope she feels better soon! CODA, pass on our regards.

rrarbecy, you have yourself a sniper on the rooftop.:cool:i will be happy to do that but as we wait she told people to stop spamming on her thread so please grant her that wish and you will all make her(and me) happy

cityofdarkages
A.K.A CODA

Crowgirl

01-29-2005, 10:18 AM

Two things.

1) You accidentally posted that twice.
2) I shall agree to stop posting this so called 'spam' as the author commands.

starfire0639

01-29-2005, 12:25 PM

so called!so called!what the heck its like spam nation in here i leave for one week ugh! shadow its not my appendix and its oh so very painful but just seeing these spamming notes all over my fic just make me oh so very happy-twitch-as you guys see me the writer yes its me starfire0639 crow! is back happy and all-rolls eyes-and im glad to see you all again my 6th chapter is done but only cus i wrote it before my surgery and thanks for the hopes for me to be better not i gotta go ok byes guys peace

oh and just for you becy.................GO PATRIOTS!!!

rrarbecy

01-29-2005, 12:30 PM

FINE! If you want to talk about the Superbowl, do it on MY thread. Good to have you back by the way Ash.

ShadowOfAGhost

01-29-2005, 12:37 PM

oh. well, I hope everything goes well for you and I will avoid superbowl discussions here.

that said, I look forward to reading the next chapter! it promises to be good seeing the patern of steady growth and improvement. If you want me to proof-read it for you I would be glad to take a look at it, check spelling, help you make sure it's clear, anything like that.

Crowgirl

01-29-2005, 12:39 PM

Sorry. :sweat: But no offence, Spam happens, there's ot really a need to get so worked up about it.

And as for the 'So called" thing, I was joking.

starfire0639

01-29-2005, 12:59 PM

as for you crow its not called overreacting its called lack of sleep mojor surgery and non working pain pills and all of thosr things are so veryt awsome all rapped into one and thank u guys it feels good to be welcomed back:anime:

Matt A

01-29-2005, 06:34 PM

Welcome back indeed!:D

Crowgirl

01-29-2005, 07:06 PM

I apologize for my comment if it offended you that much. :sad:

Welcome back though! :D

Pookey

01-31-2005, 06:58 AM

Yeah ash is back, ash is back!! YEAH! Im glad your back (if that wasn't obvious)

K-dog

01-31-2005, 10:46 PM

welcome back ash i hope you feel better:D

FINE! If you want to talk about the Superbowl, do it on MY thread. Good to have you back by the way Ash.

dude you might want to chill out for a bit ok you dont know what ash went through ok

Crowgirl

02-02-2005, 04:34 PM

I think he was just joking around, CODA.

And if you went through something awful, I give you all my sympathy.

ShadowOfAGhost

02-02-2005, 04:36 PM

And if you went through something awful, I give you all my sympathy....and my prayers for a speedy recovery

Matt A

02-02-2005, 06:33 PM

I second both of the above.

rrarbecy

02-02-2005, 07:19 PM

I think he was just joking around, CODA.

And if you went through something awful, I give you all my sympathy.
I was... I EXPECT AN APOLOGY! I was kidding there too, by the way. *sees people staring* I'M A BAD PERSON!:crying:

K-dog

02-02-2005, 09:08 PM

i need to tell you guys something before this gets off hand. im protective of ash so i care for her alot and when i say alot i mean alot so if i start acting angry its just that i care for her and i try my best to keep calm but its hard to do when you got people acting up and trying to kiss up on someone you love. i admit i have issues and sometimes i cant control them so i get offhand sometimes and when i do i always need someone to bew there for me and sofar ash has always been there for me so in return i want to be there for her

P.S this probably diddnt make sence to some of you diddnt it?

rrarbecy

02-02-2005, 09:21 PM

Of course it made sense. People will do anything for someone they love. I just hope that I haven't caused any grief. Tell her that I wish her fast healing. *insert some somber smiley here*

K-dog

02-07-2005, 12:09 AM

i know this is spam and ash i am very sorry but i half to ask this question,
i kinds forgot who won the superbowl, can you remind me?
OH YEAH:D:D:D WOOT WOOT WOOT *flaps arms* I WON ME 50 DOLLARS, IM GOING SHOPPING

rrarbecy

02-07-2005, 07:40 AM

Crowgirl

02-07-2005, 04:19 PM

Ha! Some idiot in my school bet about twenty-five dollars that the Eagles would win, and he lost a ton of money. Stupid kid! :p

Not that anybody else here lost a bet..... :p ;) :D :evil:

rrarbecy

02-07-2005, 07:16 PM

Ha! Some idiot in my school bet about twenty-five dollars that the Eagles would win, and he lost a ton of money. Stupid kid! :p

Not that anybody else here lost a bet..... :p ;) :D :evil:
1. Stop. Bragging.:mad:

2. QUIT SPAMMING OR I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN!!!!!!!!!

K-dog

02-07-2005, 10:48 PM

she shouldnt stop bragging cause shes happy *high fives crowgirl* its not my fault eagles lost:D its not my fault patriots won:D (i know i know this is spam/fluff im sorry again) and luckly ash will be posting by next week if she is feeling better, sences say that she is fine and out of the hospital and safe back at home...

ShadowOfAGhost

02-07-2005, 10:55 PM

K-dog

02-08-2005, 12:25 AM

You are all the biggest bunch of hypocrites I have ever met!

I'm glad to hear that she is feeling better and hope to hear from her soon. tell her not to rush with the next chapter, as it is more important for her to recover. on a more positive note, it may not seem all that obvious at this point, but there has been SIGNIFICANT improvment in the chapters since the begining! I encourage everyone to go back to chapter 1 and read the whole story from there and you will see the fenominal change and improvment that I speak of. There is always still room for improvment, but the improvment from chapter 1 is astounding!hypo-what?

yeah, one of ashes friends told me that shes fine and all. the sugery went great(from what i heard) and she had to opoerate on............uhh......well anyway, ill tell her not to rush on the chapter and i agree, her recovery is most important to me, her writing has improved and she is a better writer than me i admit it to. if you saw my first chapter it stunk, yes, there is more improvement for writing....<i think i just said that backwards, idk but yeah shes a good writer and ash when you read this im sorry for spaming and talking about the one thing that brought you pain but i had to make DJ suffer (YEAH I SAID YOUR NAME BUT SO DID SHE *points to crowgirl*)

cityofdarkages
A.K.A CODA

rrarbecy

02-08-2005, 07:41 AM

1. A hypocrite is someone who says something, but his actions say something else. Such as you telling us not to spam, but you do it anyway.

2. Aren't I in enough pain. My entire life, and my teams have never won a championship.

3. I am sooooo shutting up now, just to make Ash happy.

Crowgirl

02-08-2005, 02:48 PM

For making Rrarbecy/DJ feel upset, I apologize to him and shall shut up.

For now, anyways. :p

starfire0639

02-09-2005, 10:10 PM

awwwww!thankies shadow i really dont see how iv i donno got better or anything i just try my best and have fun.......no matter how confusing it may get:D and by the way..............GO PATRIOTS!!!!!!oh and thankies becy for stopping of the spam but the one person i w8sh to speak to................ coda! you booger head! Im a big girl and i can stick up for myself! I dont need youre so called intrusive and overbearing protection..ugh!-steps off into a corner and returns calmed down-ah ok im better im just so glad to be talking to you guys again the thing is that i wrote my next chapter b4 i went into surgery yay! so that means that i got it all ready and evrything but i have to go lay down now ....darn pain pills and their overbearing sleep inhancing stimulents.....wow big vocabulary and now i think im going love yas all and im out!

K-dog

02-09-2005, 11:24 PM

*fwaps becy* you took my credet. oh well *hugs ash* GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACK ON THE FORCE:D YOU DONT KNOW HOW HAPPY I AM AHHH I JUST WANT TO SCREAM (mushy i know but im to happy to care right now) AHHH i dont knw what to say......well its good to finally see you again after 3-4 WEEKS ahem, i mean gawd im just happy, well yeah like i said good to have you back and hope to see your next chapter soon, ive been dying to see it

*fwaps becy again* ima so get you back pal:evil:

P.S FIRST POST YESS

cityofdarkages
A.K.A CODA

Pookey

02-10-2005, 05:50 AM

Ash!!! YOU LIVE!! Im sooo happy your back! YEAH!!!
Superbowl, oh how I loved it...
I have missed you sooooo much.!!!
What else can i say......YEAH!!!!!!!!

Matt A

02-10-2005, 06:38 PM

I second (or is that third?) all of the above...except for the superbowl, of course.:anime:

rrarbecy

02-10-2005, 07:37 PM

1. Dost thou comprehend that I am still in mourning. MOURNING!!! WITH A "U"!!!!

2. CODA, do you think that, maybe, has something to do with you being hipocrytical and posting spam when you tell us not to?

3. HARK!! Do I hear the very confusing, sentence fragment posting style of Ash!? I DO!!! SHE IS FIXED!!!! YAY!!! It just was not the same without your unconditional love for all things good in the world.

starfire0639

02-10-2005, 08:30 PM

3. HARK!! Do I hear the very confusing, sentence fragment posting style of Ash!? I DO!!! SHE IS FIXED!!!! YAY!!! It just was not the same without your unconditional love for all things good in the world.aaaaaaaaaaaaaaw that is so sweet becy!thankyou and i missed ya so much-runs over.well as well as i can-and hugs becy tight-i have an uncoditional love for all things?wow i thought i was the only one who noticed that:anime:

rrarbecy

02-10-2005, 08:32 PM

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaw that is so sweet becy!thankyou and i missed ya so much-runs over.well as well as i can-and hugs becy tight-i have an uncoditional love for all things?wow i thought i was the only one who noticed that:anime:
Hey, my empathy was really on. I love getting hugs:anime:

You can't run? HOW WILL YOU LIVE!!!????

starfire0639

02-10-2005, 08:36 PM

Hey, my apathy was really on. I love getting hugs:anime:

You can't run? HOW WILL YOU LIVE!!!????i think i can manage and i love giving them out so anyone else want one?holds arms open waiting-cricket in the background-

K-dog

02-10-2005, 08:38 PM

[QUOTE=rrarbecy]

2. CODA, do you think that, maybe, has something to do with you being hipocrytical and posting spam when you tell us not to?

QUOTE]

ohh i will so get you back on this....you will see the wrath of me

but anyway so this is not SPAM *glares at ash and becy* good to have you back:D you dont know how much i missed you

rrarbecy

02-10-2005, 09:14 PM

Pookey

02-11-2005, 08:12 PM

rofl...rrarbecy, you have a point...

Ash is back, Ash is back, Ash is back..........Ash is back, Ash is BAck!!!!!!!!
*runs and hugs Ash...I have missed you so much Ash...

starfire0639

02-13-2005, 10:03 PM

And you "sooooo" scare me:rolleyes: You have one "intimidating" boyfriend Ash.ok only one thing
1 thing-he isnt my fricken boyfreind!!!
i got the brains and mouth that i just dont know how to shut......therfore im the intimidating one hell ya!:sweat: ..................ill close my intimidating mouth now

rrarbecy

02-14-2005, 07:43 AM

I was being sarcastic. You can tell by the ":rolleyes:"

ShadowOfAGhost

02-14-2005, 11:20 AM

Glad to see you back and feeling better! :)

starfire0639

02-18-2005, 11:57 PM

yay!i did it i typed it but its on my neighbors computer!....wow ....that started out good but now it sucks.....sowwy:anime:

Pookey

02-19-2005, 07:10 PM

why were you typing it on your neighbors computer? oh well, at least you typed it! YEAH! can't wait till you get it onto yours.

rrarbecy

02-19-2005, 07:13 PM

At least we know you haven't dropped off the face of the Earth.

Pookey

02-19-2005, 10:29 PM

Ash you must post soon!!!

This is to EVERYONE: i know something you don't know, i know something don't know!! MUWAHAHAHA!!

To Ash: pppllleeeeaaaasssseeee post the ch.(s)

rrarbecy

02-19-2005, 10:38 PM

Ash you must post soon!!!

This is to EVERYONE: i know something you don't know, i know something don't know!! MUWAHAHAHA!!

To Ash: pppllleeeeaaaasssseeee post the ch.(s)

You should be slapped.:p But seriously, that is THE MOST annoying thing in the world, right there.

I love you Ash, I really do, but if you don't post a new chapter soon, I shall fly down to Florida and smack you upside the head.

Only joking, take your time.

K-dog

02-20-2005, 05:02 PM

You should be slapped.:p But seriously, that is THE MOST annoying thing in the world, right there.

I love you Ash, I really do, but if you don't post a new chapter soon, I shall fly down to Florida and smack you upside the head.

Only joking, take your time.you touch pookey and you will be shot(this is reys friend talking) and rey is saving up his money to fly down to Florida himself but i read the last chapter and its good, KEEP WRITING

rrarbecy

02-20-2005, 06:24 PM

you touch pookey and you will be shot(this is reys friend talking) and rey is saving up his money to fly down to Florida himself but i read the last chapter and its good, KEEP WRITING
I seem to be getting a lot of death threats on this thread...

K-dog

02-20-2005, 11:40 PM

dont take it seriously im joking *sigh* kids

rrarbecy

02-21-2005, 10:49 AM

I KNOW you were kidding. *sigh* other kids.

starfire0639

02-21-2005, 09:59 PM

cough ok i got one thing to say and that is good ash has left the building...in other words im seriously ticked!you touch pookey and you will be shot(this is reys friend talking) and rey is saving up his money to fly down to Florida himself but i read the last chapter and its good, KEEP WRITINGum dude for posts like that we have notes that you can send as for the rey thing im not so sure bout that and another thing its not any of your business in any way to post that on my fic!Oh and dude soemthing else...why are you living such a lie?For anyone who thinks different that guy that just posted saying he was reys freind is rey just lying away like he so perfectly does.....whatever oh and if he did come down here i would either
1-call the police
or
2-run for my fricken life

ok i think thats over with and now for a better message
You should be slapped.:p But seriously, that is THE MOST annoying thing in the world, right there.

I love you Ash, I really do, but if you don't post a new chapter soon, I shall fly down to Florida and smack you upside the head.

Only joking, take your time.awwwww i love u 2 becy!-runs up and kisses him on the cheek hugging him tight-and i will post soon i promise just wait till this weekend please and i swear itll be up i promose take my word for it!i swear!take my word as ash the writer

ps please trust me!

TerraWHRobin4

02-21-2005, 10:09 PM

ya, ash you better get it up! you better! or i'll ignore your phone calls! just kidding i'm not that evil! just get it up okay?

ERIN

ShadowOfAGhost

02-21-2005, 10:17 PM

I haven't posted here in a while because you were getting so much spam, but I have been folowing along! good to hear that there will be another chapter up soon!

rrarbecy

02-22-2005, 01:36 PM

*attempts to say something*hggg...hgggg...Ash, would you let go of me, please. *she does and DJ takes huge breath* God woman, you have a grip like Starfire.

Now, what I was going to say... SPAM EVIL!!!!!! EEEVVVIIIIILLLLL!!!!!!! Not that I don't spam...

starfire0639

02-22-2005, 11:56 PM

HEYS GUYS!THIS IS MY...7?YA MY 7TH CHAPTER WOOHOO!YA!-JUMPS UP AND DOWN -*COUGH*OK IM DONE-SMILE-I JUST WANT TO SAY HAVE FUNB READING THIS CHAPPIE WHILE I WAS IN RECOVERYI GOT LIKE TOTALLY BORED AND JUST DECIDED TO WRITE THIS SHORT THANG FOR YOU GUYSYA KNOW...LIKE TO HOLD YOU OVER TILL I POST CHAPTER 8!AH YES OKNESS HERES THE STORY ENJOY!

CHAPTER 7

HOW THE....?

Meanwhile...

"Where are those two!"

Cyborg's communicatorshortly died out after hearing the few dimwitted words from Beastboy.He now stood in the middle of a darkened street alone scoffing under his breath.

"Man! I told robin I needed this fixed...needed the parts but nooo! I had to spot with him while he trained! He yelled babyishly as he rolled his eyes and walked along.

"Where are they!?"

Raven walked quietly looking as if she was hovering above the ground humming to herself.

"I'm not breaking down...i'm breaking out..."

"Haha! Rae are you like singing?!"-Beastboy continues to laughas he watched her face turn red.

A slight mumble was all he could hear before a giant black hand wrapped around his waist.

"Raven help! I'm being attacked again!", Beastboy struggled moving in a strange manor finally causing Raven to laugh under her breath.

The dark girl mearly rolled her eyes and dropped him on the ground.

"What!? That was you...so mean! Don't do that!"

Raven's head jerked slightly as she stopped in her path and turned resting her eyes on his.

"Why? Did i scare you?"

"NO! You just wrinkled my suit is all..."

"Is that all i did to your suit?"

"Uh....Raven wait up!"

Beastboy ran quickly to catch up with the already moving titan.

"Wait up!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Grr...Where are they! The sewer was a no. Bookhut no. And no to the arcade! Ugh...those boogershad better not be having fun or something! Ha..like Raven could have fun...We need to find Star and Rob...-the robotic titan stopped quickly to hear a slight giggle and a green halo from a nearby building.

"Star...Starfire is that you?"-he ran over only to see a green can reflecting the fading sunlight.

"Great now im going delerious."

Cyborg's venture continued as he rubbed his eyes. He stopped, bumping into a scrawny green teen.

"Hey man, where were you?! I'v been looking for Star, Robin and now you and Rae for like ever. Where were you!", Cyborg's temper grew as he stared at Beastboy. With no response BB stood grining wierdly with an eyebrow arched as he watched a messed haired Raven step out of the darkness.

"Um...just practicing some tackeling techniques dude."

Raven butted in while placing her hood back over her head,"I couldn't help myself. His jokes are just so...funny."

"Oook...now I'v seriously gone insane."Cyborg continued to walk away trying to avoid the newly formed memory.

"Ew......hey but wait....Rae you dont think Beastboy is funny!"

"Guees again."-Cyborg's vision grew dim as he watched Beastboy and Raven formed one dark figure.

"NO!"-with one last blink, a cold faced Cyborg's battery died and the sky began to fade....

wow....i have like a verrrrry bad mind hahahaha bad for somethings awsome for others.......ooook i should deffintly stop talking now but uh uh! i just want to say im sorry this chappie is so short! but common guys what did ya think common tell me! i must know of these things and cant ya tell?im so acting more like myself now..i think...am i?oh well-smile-so common info on chappie bad good horrible excellent...other explaining and detailed words to describe my writing?tell me!

K-dog

02-23-2005, 06:11 PM

#1 post, yeah

this is getting weird. Raven thinking Beastboys jokes are funny? this is a dream isnt it. keep writing and sry for before

rrarbecy

02-23-2005, 06:15 PM

Me likey. A lot. Raven thinking BB is funny is a clear indication that this is a dream sequence. Quite lovely.

Matt A

02-23-2005, 07:32 PM

That was pretty damn cool, if more than a little weird. But, then again, that's what we expect from our dear friend Ash.:D :D :D :D :D

rrarbecy

02-23-2005, 09:27 PM

That was pretty damn cool, if more than a little weird. But, then again, that's what we expect from our dear friend Ash.:D :D :D :D :D
Yeah. Ash is...unpredictable.

starfire0639

02-23-2005, 09:52 PM

hahahaha yes i am aint i-smile-i am so very sorry for the intense hugging dj-brushes him off a bit and kisses him on the cheek and i hugged as forcefully as starfire?..............wow cool:anime: and since you guys were so patient and everything i have a suprise! my 8th chapter being posted tonight! and...if you think u get it now.....u havnt seen notn yet:evil:

starfire0639

02-23-2005, 10:11 PM

HEY GUYS IM WRITING AGAIN YAY!I WORKED ON THIS CHAPTER LIKE LATE INTO THE NIGHT AND I THINK I PULLED IT OFF...THINK BEING THE WORD USED LIGHTLY SO OK I WANT YOU GUYS TO BE TRUTHFUL ABOUT THIS SO OK READ ON AND TELL ME WHAT YA THINK OK.....UM.....ENJOY!

CHAPTER 8

KNOWING,ASKING
HOW?

"We all wish we knew.All wish that we tried.
But what happens when we do?
An altimate sacrifice.

"Leave me alone...leave me alone...leave me alone...", Robin sat on his knees sorounded by light,incased by darkness. Could it be that the leader of himself and the titans had fallen? Or could he stand again?

"Leave me alone....leave me alone...leave...me...alone!", He clutched his head as it seemed like a million memories flying and hitting against the walls. Robin closed his eyes tight hoping to have the pain leave him. There was no effect and the boy fealt himself falling unconsious.

A light shined bright as he watched the close memory of Starfire's fall,as he watched himself strangle Beastboy.

"Why?...my freinds of course...i have to protect them! They can't have the same tourture..not like this..this nightmare!.....Ugh! wake up and think already!

Robin heald his head in his hands. He knew he could do what he needed to do. But what was it?He knew he could face it.He could stop the evil if he needed to.He knows..that he has to.

"I know why your doing this! I know why! Your testing me! You think i wont win but i will!",Robin stood still,out of breath,yelling into the darkness. A sudden screeching hault was heard as Robin gripped his head in pain.

"Aah whats hap.....pening!", Robin continued to yell until he fealt the urge to open his eyes. Ounce he did he saw.

The morbid images ..unforgotten thoughts,embarresments.Robin stood still seeing the racing images in his mind, wincing as he watched his freinds fall,gawking as he saw the beast and deamon girl form one. That one evil...

".......Your trying to hurt me...trying to find what makes me me. Now its my turn...I'm coming for you.",an evil grin spread on Robin's face ready. But for what?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Raven and Beastboy continued on their walk. No sign of anyone met their glance.Just walking and searching. Both teens growing nervous with every step.

"Raven? Do you think the guys are alright? Like safe or whatever."

"I'm sure their whatevers are fine Beastboy.",she gently shruged off his question as she herself grew worried.

She hovered as she watched BB cower behind her as they walked the dark allyways.As they continued alking,Raven tried to calm herself.

"I hope their whatevers are fine...."

A pure light caught Beastboy's eye.A green light.A dimming green light.

"Hey Raven look! I see soemthing shiny over there!Star...hmm Starfire that you!"

Raven looked up to see BB running towards a green halo in an ally. A tall building stood next to it.

"Beastboy! What do you see.....Beastboy respond!-with no response Raven led herself thru the path BB had taken only stopping mid way.She saw the unexplainable.

"It....It is Starfire...",he feel to his knees watching her chest rise and fall.Beastboy heald the faintly breathing girls hand,patting it while trying to keep himself from blaming himself. A broken birderang lay next to her. A dark shadow sorounds her and it quickly disapears as does the mist around the broken object.

The hand in which Beastboy was holding grew translucent and caught Ravens eye as she stood there staring.

"Beast..Beastboy look!

"Huh,what Raven?",his trance was broken as he looked to where she was pointingonly to see a solid colered hand.

"I'm sorry....",Raven spoke quietly,"I suppose i was only daydreaming..."

She returned her glance back. To the dying Star of the Teen Titans,near death,on the verge,almost lost....

"Robin.............."

hahahhaha hey you guys did you like it!i hope you did now like i said give me your honest response i wanna know exactly what you think about it all so ok love yas and.im out peace!

ps guys i might had had magor surgery but im still ash i want your honest opinion whethyer it harsh or really nice so common give it to me!i can take it...im a strong girl member?just ask becy:anime:

Pookey

02-23-2005, 10:27 PM

woho!! honestly this ch was awesome! You making us thikn w/ your story in genious, and it hurts my head, BUT it still ROCKS!

I'm glad you tyoed this at your house instead of your neighbors house this time! lol j/k...I loved both ch...i love this whole story

rrarbecy

02-24-2005, 02:36 PM

"Strong" is a bit of an understatement. *rubs bruised rib*

Aaaaaaaaaaanyway...STARFIRE'S DYING!!!!!! Damn...that sucks. And Robin did it? That sucks even more. I CANNOT wait for more of this.

One small qualm. Could you not leave so much space between the title and the chapter, and between the chapter and your final thought? It's kind of annoying.

You can give me as many bone crushing hugs as you want, by the way.

ShadowOfAGhost

02-24-2005, 03:39 PM

this is still improving and is still interesting. I can't wait to find out more. my one recomendation this time would be to put in a whole lot more details about the area and the sceenery. This is still improving over all. good work and I look forward to future improvment!

Matt A

02-24-2005, 06:14 PM

Yep, that was cool. I now don't have any clue whatsoever about what's going on, but never mind.

Pookey

02-28-2005, 06:55 AM

I havent had much of a clue BUT im believe im understanding it...you really have to think about it....*grabs Advil* yeah, really have to think

starfire0639

03-02-2005, 09:50 PM

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!this Has Nothing To Do With My Fic But Guess What Im Going To Go See Green Day In Coincert!!!!!!!!!!!!!and I Got Vip Passes!omg Omgomgomgomg Billy Is So Freakn Hot And Im Gonna Get To Meet Him Omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Im So Lucky I Cant Belive It Omgomg Omg!!!!!!!!woooooooo!oh and becy...i dont think that the hug thing will be a big deal i like giv'n them to ya!

rrarbecy

03-02-2005, 10:05 PM

I'm not going to pretend that I'm a Green Day fan, but I'm happy for you. Do those VIP passes include Backstage?

ShadowOfAGhost

03-02-2005, 10:28 PM

yippie.

Matt A

03-03-2005, 06:04 PM

That does indeed sound coll, even though I'm not much of a Green Day fan either. Now, if it were The Chemical Brothers...:p

Pookey

03-05-2005, 01:00 AM

dont rub it in Ash...im jealous enough..........*sees Billy, drools*

rrarbecy

03-05-2005, 06:47 AM

I'm assuming that you getting VIP passes for Green Day would be like me getting VIP passes to Collective Soul or something. THAT would be my dream.

ED IS THE MAN!!!!!!!!!!!

starfire0639

03-05-2005, 05:56 PM

I'm assuming that you getting VIP passes for Green Day would be like me getting VIP passes to Collective Soul or something. THAT would be my dream.

ED IS THE MAN!!!!!!!!!!!i dont know what it is...something bout tall skiny but not so much and dark haired makeup wearing guys turns me on...........i said that out loud?......oh well!nene!and yep v i p baby!and guys dont get mad bvut right now im focusing my attentionon my new fic tears of a smiling shadow right now i have so many ideas for it and as for this one.........eh its gonna take some thinking but dont worry!i havnt given up on it and i will still bring new chapter.just not at this time:sweat:

Matt A

03-05-2005, 07:25 PM

Oh well, I can wait...I hope.;)

Pookey

03-12-2005, 12:09 AM

.....*twitch*.....-sees Billy- *drool twitch*

rrarbecy

03-12-2005, 08:25 AM

Oh please. You don't see me doing that over Martina McBride or Faith Hill, do you?

Pookey

03-12-2005, 06:09 PM

-grabs bucket- we never said you couldnt though -starts drooling again-

starfire0639

03-13-2005, 01:09 PM

but i do!-holds mouth with hand-i didnt say that..........-runs away-

Pookey

03-18-2005, 11:46 PM

yesh you did...-grins evilly- ...Ash and 'becy sitting in a tree....... I think that song will do....-starts humming-

starfire0639

03-19-2005, 12:14 AM

yesh you did...-grins evilly- ...Ash and 'becy sitting in a tree....... I think that song will do....-starts humming--jaw drops as she stares at the screen-Dude.......that is so wrong.......Becy pooky is teasing me!!!

Pookey

03-19-2005, 12:21 AM

yesh i am! what are you gonna do about it? huh huh? -continues singing-

rrarbecy

03-19-2005, 08:11 AM

I'll tell you what I'm gonna do about it. I won't forward your PM. HA!

Pookey

03-20-2005, 12:51 AM

hmm...i think ill take my chances...-keeps singing, with megphone-

starfire0639

03-20-2005, 11:26 AM

Eeeeeek!stop it you blunder head!-steals the megaphone and bashes pooky on the head with it-....phew now that that evil is concored i come to the relization that...............I need some ideas for my next chapter!!please help me you guys!!!

Pookey

03-21-2005, 10:53 AM

ow..that hurt you know, now im gonna have a lump on my head for a week...thanks! -grumbles and grabs some ice-

ideas....hmmm...I KNOW!! Answer some of the questions and quit making us think! my head hurts enough....

oh and -starts singing again- i shall never quit!!

starfire0639

03-21-2005, 04:48 PM

Sorry pooky but that is just not my way...hehehe-evil laughter-oop....well you guys better be glad I love you or I wouldn't have considered taking time out of my day and write this-puts her nose in the air and folds her arms-...What you actually belived that?Pesh'aw!I got a good idea for the next chapter and I could'nt have just left it leaking in my brain.I hope you guys like this!And don't get mad at em for it's aginizingly powerful brain hurtedness.Ya..I understand...my brain hurts from writing it.Be happy and enjoy!

Chapter 9

....

Raven and Beastboy stood in the dreary allyway.Beastboy heald the unconsious, barely breathing tameranian in his arms.He trembled from her weight but dared not to udder anything about it.He wished that the effects of her springing awake were possible now.But nothing worked.Not a slap to the wrist or spells cast by Raven.She laid there..barely awake.

~Meanwhile~

A dark cavern room was seen with a young boy standing in its abess of darkness. Robin stood up holding his head.He raised his hand and grabbed hold of his mask throwing it to the dark floor. The boy walked foward,not knowing where he was heading or why he had the subtle hint of imagaination still left in him about what was to happen.He continued heading foward as it now fealt like he was walking a mile until....a flash went off in his brain.

"What the hell is going on!.......",Robin leaned over his knees but forced himself to continue standing.This time however Robin consintrated onto the vision...looked at ever detail...Their was someone standing next to the frozen girl,deamon and beast......It was the creature.

An evil grin was placed on Robin's face as he walked foward once more.

"Thats how your doing this!Your making the things I feel and see happen!...But there not actually happening...There not my fault..So all I have to do is....."

Robin knelt down onto the ground and closed his eyes tight.He imagined himself next to Starfire,in his arms as she awoke.He imagined to others racing towards them as they tried to help Starfire...He imagined there being no evil creature.

~?~

His eyes opened and all seemed to be bright.He looked over and saw Raven's shoulder being tugged at by Beastboy...And Robin looked down...seeing the fallen Titan in his arms.

Raven looked up and shruged Beastboy's hand off of her grabbing his attention.Beastboy's eyes went wide and his jaw dropped.He thought to himself..."Wasn't I just holding her?"

"Dude!Where the hell did you come from?!.......Where were you!?"

Raven stood up and stared at Robin.

The boy wonder looked down and brushed the hair out of Starfire's face without an answer in his voice.He responded:

"Go down the street and to your left at the nearest corner....You'll find Cyborg..."

The two Titans stared on and with a bit more force in his voice Robin gave the same order again.

Robin stepped up and pulled at the sleeping damsel in his arms.He looked into her eyes and lifted her hands so they were inclosed in his.His eyes peirced through her.

"Only pure evil would make me have to do this...but it can't be fully evil if its making me do this..."

Robin's eyes closed and he pursed his lips.He stammered as he closed himself to her and pressed his lips against hers.He stayed there for a second and released himself and looked down to the sleeping girls eyes.

Robin almost dropped her as her eyes twitched a bit....He looked across the allyway and watched as a scene was going on the roof.

Robin saw another form of himself over the rim of the towering building.He relised that it looked exactly like him,another form of him from a past dream,or past experience.From his view he could see a dark creature reaching and grabbing hold of the other Robin.His head began to hurt as he watched on and a flash of memories floated around his mind. He knew exactly what to do.Robin placed Starfire against the biulding on the ground and shot a birderang onto the building's roof top.It grabbed hold and snatched as Robin grabbed hold and it spun him up to the roof.He landed and looked up as the dark creature spun around and almost ran away from what it saw.

"I'm sorry,but the greeting with my other self will be ending now!"

Robin ran foward thinking he was to tackle the monster to the ground,but to his dispaointment he ran right thru falling next to his other self.

Robin looked to the other Robin as he vanished leaving the now boy wonder alone on the roof as the misty creature floated off.The boy looked down after running from the spot which he sat and saw no Starfire or friends running to help Cyborg.

"One step down...others to fix...and one deamon to conquer."