Teen Titans-Days of thunder PLEASE READ AND REPLY

[Allen CARR]

Teen Titans

Days of Thunder









Prologue

In Jump City, a teenaged motorcycle racer named Robin is king. He has never lost a tournament race, he has it all. Or so he thought, he now owes evil Crime lord money, his being targeted buy the press for drug use. His girl left him, now Robin is about to meet a girl, who will change is fast life, and lead to a great tale, of love, racing, and everything else. This an more all in “Days of thunder”





Chapter 1-Deadline





The scene is a sunny summer day; a huge crowd is gathered in Jump city Race way. Thousands are gathered, for a motorcycle race, the people cheer as 20 Motor Racers, fly around the Narrow asphalt track. Ahead of the rest, is Robin on his red R-cycle. Robin is wearing his usual uniform. As Robin speeds ahead of the rest, he turns back to see who is second then smiles.





Robin-“Way to easy” he states, he then presses on a red button.
http://titanstower.com/assets/animated/episodes/datewdestiny/date02.jpg


Robin at insane speeds crosses the finish line. He puts one hand in the air, and waves at the roaring crowd. As Robin starts to slow, another bike hits him, sending him flying into the parking lot!





Robin-“What was the name of that bus” he jokes, while removing himself from his ruined bike.





A crowd of People run to Robin, then a huge, black, half machine man comes busting through the crowd. He walks next to Robin, and helps him up out of the crash site.





Cyborg-“You okay Robin?” he asks with a worried face.





Robin-“I’m fine, now let go!” he shoves off CY, and heads into the crowd.





Robin storms behind the crowd, to a grey skinned man on a bike.





Robin-Robin clenches his fist. “You got a problem Rancid?” Robin asks angrily.





Johnny Rancid simply smiled, and began walking up to Robin.





Rancid-“Sorry man, my bike got out of control, sorry I hit you” Rancid says with a devilish smile.

http://titanstower.com/assets/animated/episodes/canikeephim/canikeep02.jpg



Robin Steers at Rancid then ***** back his arm to punch.





Robin-“Well im sorry for this!” he screams, as he prepares to Punch.
http://titanstower.com/assets/animated/episodes/haunted/haunted18.jpg




But Cyborg catches Robins back arm, and forces it down.





Cyborg-“He ain’t worth it man!” Cyborg says while holding back Robin.





Robin-“Get of me!” Robin angrily demands, as he struggles to free himself, to no avail.





Rancid Turns and hops back on his bike, then rides off. CY lets go of an Angry Robin.





Robin-He punches his fist together “Get my cycle CY, and let’s go.” Robin walks off past Cyborg.





………………………………..





Later, Robin and Cyborg are working on the cycle inside their old looking garage. The garage has a sign that’s says Titans, on the front door. Inside the Garage is high-tech, with a fridge, big screen TVs, computers, and a huge couch, among other things. Robin and CY work in a special area, CY and Robin are wearing blue mechanics outfits.





Cyborg-“Hand me that wrench man.” He says in an angry tone.





Robin-Hands CY the wrench “Hey Cyborg, im sorry, I just hate Rancid” he says with a smile.





Cyborg- laughs “I hate him to”.





The two begin laughing, and then their Video phone rings.





Robin-“I got this” he then walks over to the phone.





Robin press a button on the Vid Phone, and an image of Slade appears on it.





Slade-“Hello Robin, I heard you won again today,” he says in a creepy voice.





Robin looks down at the ground angrily, and then looks up back at Slade.





Robin-Nods his head “Yes sir, I won easily.”





Slade-Laughs “Of course you won, you’re the best.”

Robin-“I dun have the money yet Slade, I need another week.” Robin pleads.





Slades face comes close to his screen
http://titanstower.com/assets/animated/episodes/terra/terra36.jpg




Slade-Shakes head “You have 2 more weeks, if I dun have my money then, I will kill you! ......Oh and Robin don't forget to come to my party tonight." Slade then clicks off the phone.







Cyborg walks up to Robin





Cyborg-puts hand on Robin shoulder “We will get the money.” He says in soft voice.



Robin-Looks at Cyborg “Let’s just focus on fixing the R-cycle”.





To be continued………

[Crowgirl]

Robin as a racer? Cool!!! You put him with a huge temper, and he seems to be rude to Cyborg a lot. I like how you used the pictures to go with the story. Very nice.

Robin owes Slade money? Wonder why, but that will clear up, right? And where are the other titans? Who was Robin's 'girl'? You leave a lot of questions unanswered, but they only make you want to read more.

[oneeyemonkeypie]

Drug use?

I knew robin needed to mellow out, but that seems kinda extreme. :sweat:

Very interesting. Does this have any ties to the movie days of thunder? 'Cause I see a few similarities.

[Sproxie]

Making Robin a racer was a cool idea.
but Slade, having a party? ...did i miss something? :sweat:
just a few Grammer mistakes tin here like 'too' and 'off' but yea, this is pretty good :)

[T.T.Raven4]

I can see Slade dancing at a party...
Drug use? Um...sure.
Racing king thing is an awesome idea!
Owing Slade money...I hope there's a good reason there.

A few gripes but it's a great start.

[Allen CARR]

This is my second chapter hope you like it, all your questions will be answered





Chapter 2-the girl that changed it all









Later that night, a huge Party had begun. The press, racers, and all those important enough to attend came. The party, was like a Hollywood Red Carpet affair. Eveyone who was evryone came, aRacers of all kinds pulled up. The crowd was really thier waiting for Robin, as the party begun the T-car pulls up to the Party entrance. Inside the car, Cyborg and a few others sit.
http://titanstower.com/assets/animated/episodes/cartrouble/cartrouble02.jpg


Cyborg-"Boo-yah!" He screams while exiting the car.


Behind him, Raven and Beast boy exit as well. The crowd roars, then goes dull, when Robin is not seen. Beast boy pops out of the car, ready to party.



BeastBoy-"Hello ladies, the best Meta human manger in town, is here!"
http://titanstower.com/assets/animated/episodes/everydog/everydog26.jpg

Raven-"More like best idiot in town." shes says with a cold face.




As they walk to the waiting press, a reporter runs up to them.




Reporter-Taps Cyborg on shoulder "Where is Robin already?"




Cyborg shakes his head then points to the street.




Cyborg-"Hes right there" he says with a smile.




From the distance, a roar is heard, and Robin is seen. He is wearing a black suit, and standing on top of his bike, and smiling the most arogant smile.He roarss up to the entrance, as the crowd hovers around him, he leaps off his red bike.
http://www.titansgo.net/screenshots/206/114.jpg


Robin-"Okay folks,..... im here" walks into crowd.

.......................................


Later, inside the rooftop party, many racers populate the area. Robin wonders around, trying to find his crew. He finally spots Cyborg, but, someone taps him on his shoulder.



Robin-Turns "no autographs right now" he angrily says.



Robin turns and is shocked buy who he sees.
http://titanstower.com/assets/animated/episodes/datewdestiny/date18.jpg


Robin-"Hello Kitten,... long time no see." he says with disgust.




Kitten-"If it ins't my ex boyfriend Robin, who invited you?"




Robin-Sighs "Mr.Slade invited me himself" he says in a sad tone.




Kitten-Agry face "Well after we ended our relationship, i thought you would be to remorseful to Race again!" she screams.
http://titanstower.com/assets/animated/episodes/datewdestiny/date25.jpg


Robin-Shakes head "You broke up with me Kitten, why should i be sorry" he turns and begins to walk away.





Robin contiues to walk, but another Racer runs into him. The impact knocks Robin back, he looks up to see Speedy.
http://www.animationinsider.net/forums/images/avatars/speedy4.jpg


Speedy-"Well well well, The famous Boy wonder." he grins.







Robin-Laughs "Only to you and the city Speedy." he grabs a drink. "So,
you in town for the big Race, this month?" he asks with a devilish grin.







Speedy-Folds arms "Ofcourse, youve beaten me 2 years in a row."







Robin-Laughs "Whats wrong, you can't take your second to me." he grins.




Speedy-Glares at Robin "Wiining isn't everything Robin" he states angrily.



Robin-"Its just the only thing that matters" takes a sip of his drink.





Robin then notices a strange orange skinned girl, standing behind Speedy looking as beautiful as a Star.
http://titanstower.com/assets/animated/episodes/datewdestiny/date15.jpg



The girl quickly turns, and Robin runs past speedy to her.
http://titanstower.com/assets/animated/episodes/datewdestiny/date17.jpg

Robin-"Excuse me." he calls out softly.




The girl glances back at him, her eyes were to beautiful for Robin to comprehend.




Girl-"Yes, why do you call me sir?" she asks with a curious look.





Robin-Frowns "Hi, i just had to come over here." he walks up to her.





Girl-"I am Starfire, and why did you feel to run up to me?" she looks him funny.




Robin-"To see if you got hurt, when you fell from Heaven" smiles.



Starfire-"Actually Tamaran"


end of chapter 2.............................

[T.T.Raven4]

So if that's Starfire...why doesn't he know her???

[Allen CARR]

this is an AU story, everthing is alot different.

[T.T.Raven4]

I have no idea what that means! But ok!:D

[oneeyemonkeypie]

samw characters, same location, totally different plot.

(alternate universe)

First true one I've seen here. Cool

[Allen CARR]

heres chapter 3 enjoy short but sweet.



Chapter 3-X,my girl, and yes and my worst enemy.



The scene is still at the party, Cy,Raven, Beastboy,Robin, and Starfire all sit at a nice table.




Beastboy-"So Starfire, your really from outerspace" moves closer to Starfire.


Starfire-Smiles "Yes i am, i miss my world, but Earth is Joyous." moves beastboy away from her.
http://titanstower.com/assets/animated/episodes/everydog/everydog04.jpg


They all laugh, then Robin spots Slade enteringthe Party.



Cyborg-"Robin, Slade ain't gonna do nothing at his own party." smiles.



Starfire-"So you all are Racers ?" she asks with a smile.



Raven then opens her eyes, which were once closed.



Raven-sighs "Robin is the Racer, we are his crew, his team. Cyborg is the mechanic, Beastboy is the manager, and i make sure they all dun get into an trouble." she says with an emotionless face.



Cyborg-Smiles at Raven "We the team Titans, the best bike raceing team in town!" he proudly states.



They all laugh, then continue to talk. Then Kitten comes running up to Robin, followed buy somthing else.



Kitten-Gets in Robins face "I see you have a new girl already, but i have a new boyfriend to."
http://titanstower.com/assets/animated/episodes/datewdestiny/date26.jpg

She then turns and a huge Half spider, half man thing walks up.
http://titanstower.com/assets/animated/episodes/datewdestiny/date27.jpg

Kitten- grabs on to thing "This is Spyke, my new love!"


Robin-backs up "Nice to meet you." he sarcastcly says.



Kitten and Spyke walk off together, leaving the gang shocked.


Cyborg-Shakes his head "that was weird" takes a sip of drink.

........................................................................

Later, as the gang Talk, Slade slowly walks over to them. an angry look comes across Robins face, as he sees Slade walking over.
http://titanstower.com/assets/animated/episodes/apprentice1/apprentice119.jpg


Slade-"Hello Robin and crew, i trust you are haveing fun?"
http://titanstower.com/assets/animated/avatars/badguys/slade3.jpg


Robin-Nods "yes sir, we are, thanks to Starfire." smiles at her.


Slade-Puts hand on Starfires shoulder "Im glad my adopted daughter, can show you all a good time."


They all gasp in shock, even Raven opens one eye.



Robin-stunned look "what, how?"


Starfire-Smiles at Slade "when i came to earth, Slade took me in, he really has helped me out" smiles at the Titans.


Slade-Grabs Stars arm "Come on dear, i have some people i want you to meet".


Starfire-Waves to Robin"Robin drop buy the Slade Hotel room 222, and we can chill as they say" walks off past Slade.



Slade then turns back to Robin.



Slade-"Yes Robin drop buy, we have to talk about your upcoming race." and how you attend to pay me back."


Robin still in shock falls back into his chair. Then Speedy and a bunch of other Racers walk up to Robin.


Robin-Looks at Speedy "Speedy,Aqualad,Hotspot,Gizmo,and Widebeast, what do you guys want"?
http://titanstower.com/assets/animated/avatars/allies/speedy3.jpg http://titanstower.com/assets/animated/avatars/allies/aladface1.jpg http://titanstower.com/assets/animated/avatars/allies/hotspot2.jpghttp://titanstower.com/assets/animated/avatars/newwave/gizmoeep.jpghttp://titanstower.com/assets/animated/episodes/winnertakeall/winner28.jpg




Speedy-Shakes head "Robin listen, theres some creepy guy on the street. He says he can beat you in in Motorcycle race easily!"



Robin,Cyborg, and Beast boy all laugh.


Speedy-"This ain't a joke!" he angrily yells.


Robin-Pats Speedy on his shoulder "fine fine, i will go see this guy." He laughs again.


They all walk to the street, Robin has changed back into his regualar outfit. the street is filled of beaten racers. Robin walks past the small crowd, and sees a man dressed in Black, with a white mask. This alone shocks Robin, and he falls to th ground in shock.



Robin-stunned look "It can't be!"



Cyborg-Helps Robin up "I see it to Robin." steers at the Racer.



Th entire Titans crew steer down the man, who is standing on his dark Motorcycle.


Beastboy-Looks at man then Robin "Its can't be but Robin was Red-X."



Red-X-"Hello Robin, wanna Race?"
http://wf.toonzone.net/WF/teentitans/bios/redxii/08.jpg



X........

end of part 3

[Allen CARR]

what do you poeple think of the story so far? all your input is welcomed

[CaligoRae]

Its pretty good.:anime:

[oneeyemonkeypie]

its pretty good, but i get the feeling that you are writing based on what pictures you can find, not the other way around. Like, some of the stuff you said id be going WTF?!? if you didn't have pictures. the words are more important, remember that.

[Crowgirl]

its pretty good, but i get the feeling that you are writing based on what pictures you can find, not the other way around. Like, some of the stuff you said id be going WTF?!? if you didn't have pictures. the words are more important, remember that.
Hmm... Reid has a point...

But I like it anyway, it sounds interesting and creative. More!!

[Allen CARR]

k thanks i will take all your ADVICE, now heres the next Part.


Part 4-The Red X story



Red-X moves away from his bike, his walk similiar to that of Robins. The entire Titans crew, remains speechless. X gets within 1 foot of Robin, X then folds his arms, and shakes his head back and fourth in distast.


X-"Whats wrong boy wonder,you look like youve seen a ghost." He confidently says.


Robin angrily recovers from his shock, and breaks free of Cyborgs hold. He rushes right into Xs face, and checks him out from top to bottom. The other Titans, and the crowd, begin to form a cricle around the two.


Robin-Shakes head. "Who are you?"




X- Unfolds arms "Im Red-X, the best Racer you wish you could be." He states while walking alittle past Robin.



The two now are faceing opposite ways, as the crowd begins to get anxious.They start cheering "Race Race Race".



Robin-Clenches fists "Whoever you are, that suit you have on is dangerous." He turns towards Red-X.



X-Laughs. "Really Robin, it didn't stop you from wearing it before." X then turns to Robin.


The two steer each other down, while in the crowd, Starfire walks up to a speechless Titans crew. Cyborg and Raven just look at each other, Cy in disbelief.X then suddenly leaps over the small crowd, to his bike. Robin rushes threw the onlookers, but Red X just rides off without another word.


Robin-"Damn, he just had to run, figures!" Robin then walks back into the crowd.
............................................................


Later, the Titans crew plus are back at the Garage. Robin sits on a red couch, his body half covered buy Darkness. The Titans, sit in a small half circle around Robin. The tention in the room is felt, Starfire finally stands up from her chair.


Raven-Curious face."you didn't tell me the enitire story Robin, you said Red-X was dead ?" Her eyes become big with curousity.


Robin at first hesitates, then puts his head down.Half his face is now covered in Darkness.He grips the couch with his hand, and Cyborg puts a hand on his shoulder in comfort.


Robin-sighs "I guess, we had to tell her, sooner or later." He shakes his head" Who is Red-X...........Let me tell you."

...................................................
Flash Back

It was about one year ago now, before the Raceing season started. I


was worried about my Cycle performance. Cyborg tried to assure me,


but i didn't listen. Then one day, Raven suggested i craft a better bike, I


loved the idea. That night, i began solo work on the X cycle, X standing


for X-treme. I needed more money for more parts, so i asked Slade, he


said yes. It was then set, i used Slades Tech, and finished work on the X bike in the garage, a week later.
http://wf.toonzone.net/WF/thebatman/bios/vehicles/07.jpg



The first time i tried to ride it, it nearly killed me.The average human body, could only handle so much.



I then decided, to craft a suit, that would protect me against the speeds.



I told Slade this, and he built me a suit,the Red-X suit.



The suit, increases strength,agility,speed,and reflexes. Along with Velocity resistance.



The night before opening day Races, i put it on for the first time.My entire body shook, it was like becomeing a new person.
http://wf.toonzone.net/WF/teentitans/episodes/masks/20.jpg



They say abosolute power, corrupts Absolutely. In my case, it did, I won the first 5 races as Red-X.



It wasn't enough though, the suit started to do something to me, atleast thats what i always told myself til now.



On the 6th race, i had the early lead, then when speedy was catching up.



I purposely hit him at top speed, he crashed into the crowd. The crash hurt Speedy, and some little girl.




That still didn't phase me, i wanted more. I started snapping at the team, and one night, it happend, after a fight with Beastboy.
http://titanstower.com/assets/animated/episodes/masks/masks015.jpg




I went out that night on the bike, i raced through the city. I thought it would be fun,..... to see if i could avoid people at top speeds.



I must of, nearly injured 12 people, each one more scared then the last.



Then, as i chased down a little girl, i snapped into my senses.



It was like wakeing from a bad dream, I awoke at top speeds.


I crashed into an old alley, nearly destroying the bike. No one knows whats its like, knowing you almost killed a litle girl.


I headed towards Slades compound, i new he would be thier.


And i new what his suit made me due, i was furious.


I stormed his Compound, disarming his gurads easily. Almost hopeing he was not expecting me!


I reached his main chamber, he sat thier, waiting for me. Jump citys Nice guy, was a thief and crimnal.



Robin-"You tricked me Slade, you new the suit would make me like this!"



Slade-Laughs "Robin, i didn't force you to put it on. It was your choice, now you have to live with it."


In rage, i ripped off the X mask, and at that point.
http://titanstower.com/assets/animated/episodes/masks/masks022.jpg



I new he was right, i put on the mask, and i made the choice! I was Red-X, not Slade!


I owed Slade money, and since no one new i was Red-X. He promised if did his duty he would not tell.


..................................................................
The present




Robin-"That was that, i hid the suit away in a secret place. and All that was left, was my bad memories, and self disgust."
http://titanstower.com/assets/animated/episodes/X/X12.jpg



Robin looks back up at Raven, who sits thier on her chair with a near shocked face. Robin then gets up, and walks out of the bright room.


End of Part

[oneeyemonkeypie]

I like your interpretation of the show's plot. It's cool. That chapter was much cooler than the last one. It made more sense 'cause you wrote more of it around the story, not the pictures.

Where the hell did that blue super-bike come from? Its cool. Is it from like that new show 'the batman' or something?

[Allen CARR]

the blue bike is from "the batman" i thought it matched my idea so i used it.

[Allen CARR]

the next chapter is very comforting, util the end ofcourse

[Allen CARR]

you guys thought this story was dead, im back with the next gripping chapter


chapter5-ROBIN AND STARFIRE FOREVER


It was Late night, all of Team Titans were asleep in their garage.Inside Robin room, he tossed and turned, in his small bed. He was haveing a terrible nightmare, one which causes him to sweat all over.Then, someone begins knocking on the main doors. Robin hearing this, snaps up, almost like he was struggling to awaken. he shakes his head, and smiles, knowing it was only a dream.
http://wf.toonzone.net/WF/batman/tnba/episodes/GrowingPains/01.jpg


Robin-"Who the hecks at the door, at this hour?" gets off of bed.



Robin angrily walks to the main doors, as the knocking gets even louder.


Robin-sighs "Im comeing im comeing!" he angrily yells out.


Robin pushes open the doors, and Stafire, dressed in a purple top and bottom is waiting.


Starfire-smiles "Robin, i have come for the bike ride you promised!" she eagerly says.



Robin-Yawns "Now Star, its like 3 in the morning." he says while looking at his watch.


Starfire-puts head down "I will go then." she says in a sad tone.


Starfire-grabs her arm "Sure, hold on, let me get dressed." walks back into garage.
...........................................................

Mins later, the two ride on Robins bike through the carless streets.
http://www.titansgo.net/screenshots/208/065.jpg
Starfire tightly holds on to to Robin, who blushes at that moment.


Starfire-big smile "This bike, goes faster then i can!" she happily says.


Robin-tilts back head to Starfire "what does that mean, ofcourse this can go faster." he proudly says.


Starfire smiles, and the two ride down the streets.
...........................................................................................

as thet two ride, Slades flying mini cams follows them. back at his mansion, Slade watches the two, his mask half covered buy a creepy darkness.
http://www.titansgo.net/screenshots/208/200.jpg


Slade-Enjoy yourself Robin, for tomorrow, is the beginning, of worst part of your life.


Slade fades back into th darkness.
........................................................


Robin and Star have have stopped buy Jump city bay, they climb to the top of a fish market, which overlooks the ocean. The sun begins to rise, as the two sit thier engrossed in each other.

http://wf.toonzone.net/WF/teentitans/episodes/Sisters/29.jpg



Robin-looks at Star "why the sad face, i thought we are haveing fun." he softly says.


Starfire-sighs "I am haveing fun, i just miss my home world."


Robin-smiles "You know Star, home is where the heart is, as they say."


Starfire-smiles "Yes, i guess it is, my heart Robin, is here now" steers at Robin.


The two look at each other, and then they share a short kiss, as the sun fully rises.


....................................


Back at the Garage, Cy and Beast boy pace around the main room.


Cyborg-shakes head "Where is he, we are gonna be late" he says while looking at the clock.


Beastboy-stops paceing "Maybe he, went out for a late breakfast" he jokeinly says.


Cy and Raven, both glare at him, and he contiues paceing. Just then, Robin walks through the doors, with a huge smile on his face.


Robin-waives "Hey guys, whats up?"


Cy-runs up to him "Whats up, you got the last points race in an hour!" he angrily screams.


Robin-Shocked look "Oh man, i forgot all about it!"


BeastBoy-"Well, can you still do it, you look dead tired dude?"


Robin-glares at Beastboy "Ofcourse i can, i will just be alittle tired today." he confidently says.


Raven-looks up from her book "Well then, lets get moveing boy blunder." she says with a small smile.
......................................................

Back at Slades huge mansion, Stafire walks in. Slade stands thier waiting, whith his butler buy his side.


Slade-"Weclome home, i trust you had fun this morning." he says in a creepy tone.


Starfire-smiles "Yes i did, Robin and i, are haveing much fun together."


Slade-nods head "Well, thats nice, ...i have something for you."


Slades butler hands him, a small gold ring.


Starfire-eyes widen "Is that for me?" she eagerly says.


Slade-laughs "Ofcourse, as a symbol of our friendship." he hands her the ring.


Starfire-puts on ring "Thank you Slade!" hugs Slade. "I will, wear it for the rest of my life!" she happily says.


Star then flies up the stairs, leaving slade alone wih his butler.


Slade-"Yes Starfire, you will wear it for the rest of your life."


Slade fades into the darkness of the big mansion.

TO BE CONTIUED......................................

[Allen CARR]

this chapter is finally up after many days

[Allen CARR]

come on people days of Thunder is back with a new chapter. on the first page

[Kregor8]

Several things to say. First, I'll apologize for everything in italics.
Then, I'll tell you something.

One: You make so many little mistakes, like "buy" instead of "by," "to" for "too" and things like that. Drives me right up the wall (I'm just a tad OCD, case you wondered).
Two: When you use stage-style dirrections for speech (ie: Robin - "Hey! No fair!" Slade - "It's only what you deserve.") you don't use "said Robin" or "said Slade." No matter how he said it. If you want descriptions (yelled, wispered, growled) don't use the stage dirrections.

Ok, tyrade over. Now I'll move onto the nice stuff.
AU stories are pretty sweet. I haven't read too many, so I'm not a good judge, but I like this one. You have some great ideas, and I'd like to see you finish it. But listen to Reid, Crowgirl, Asta...whatevah, and all those. Put your whole effort into this - words are importaint. Don't get sidetracked until you finish it. Because I like the story and it would be a shame to see it go to waste.
Hope I didn't seem too harsh, cause I'd like to see this finished. Just don't say "buy," please!
7<regor

[Crowgirl]

Woah....

I wonder what the ring means. Please don't be something wierd like marriage or anything....

AU stories are cool, you seem to specialize in those. Which isn't bad at all. I like how you incorperated the Red X thing into it, that was a great idea. I also like how you explained the erm... 'relationship' between Robin and Slade. Very nice.

One: You make so many little mistakes, like "buy" instead of "by," "to" for "too" and things like that. Drives me right up the wall (I'm just a tad OCD, case you wondered).
Homynyms, yeah. That bugs me too. You should re-read iyour chapters just to make sure you don't have any.

Two: When you use stage-style dirrections for speech (ie: Robin - "Hey! No fair!" Slade - "It's only what you deserve.") you don't use "said Robin" or "said Slade." No matter how he said it. If you want descriptions (yelled, wispered, growled) don't use the stage directions.

That is another thing that annoys me, and I know I've told you about it before. It gets confusing.

Other than that stuff, can't wait for more!

CG

[starfire0639]

"it can go faster than i can"................................i donno why but i have a thought in my mind that i know what this means but if you will can you please explain it so my mind doesnt take over and make me think things

[Allen CARR]

"it can go faster than i can"................................i donno why but i have a thought in my mind that i know what this means but if you will can you please explain it so my mind doesnt take over and make me think things

It means, Robins bike, can move faster then Star can fly. or thats why she thinks i suppose.