A dark past, A bright future

[Raven37]

Ok, last night, at midnight, a thought came to me. Not just any thought, a thought of how I should do a fan fic about Raven's past. I have some ideas that I think would make a good story. So, tell me if you would like me to post it!:anime:

[oneeyemonkeypie]

1st post. YAY!

Go for it, there's no reason not to.

[Unix]

nothing to lose....except maybe current lack of paranoia if its really good. you may just have a MOB on your hands soon enough!!!:anime: :evil:

btw, whats the idea?

[Aquagirl15]

go for it and i'll try not to be too mean like you were on my fic. :evil:

[Raven37]

Ok, here it goes:
Prologue

Everyone I have met in my life time has told me I'm different. Whether they percieve it as either special or creepy, they've realized I'm different. And I know I'm different. I definitely wouldn't call myself creepy...but I don't really feel my powers are special. They sometimes are harder to have than I ever could've imagined. Sometimes they are for the better. With them, my past has been dark. I have done and been through many things I would rather not talk about. In my past, my mother was wonderful and always encouraged me, especially when times were at their worst. I also had 2 wonderful friends...and a few not so wonderful. My father would push me in the wrong directions. At a point in my life, I felt so miserable and so horrible, so worthless...I almost gave up. Now, I am recovering, and although I'll never fully forget my past, I will try. My life now is pretty good. I have a home, friends, and many things to occupy me. My friends do not know a lot about me or my past, and I want to keep it that way. They are great friends, but none of them would understand what I've been through. Whenever (if ever) someone brings up my past, I usually give them a look so they know not to, and change the subject. I know that they all have been through things, and we all are different, and that's probably why we're here together, in Jump City. I am somewhere where I fit in a little (at least more than I used to) and am accepted. I guess that's what matters...but I still feel misunderstood, and probably am. I will just have to wait and see what the future has in store for me.

P.S. I'm not mean when I comment on your story Aquagirl15.....it's just constructive critisism;)

[Unix]

i like your idea of exploring Rae' past. i'd say that if you play your cards right, you'll soon have a MOB of your very own!!! :D ...:evil:

[Raven37]

Thank you! I feel so loved!:anime: I was worried that people wouldn't reply to my thread or they wouldn't like it:shrug: But now I know that I am wanted and will post more!:D

[Aquagirl15]

post more!!!!! ever since i met you i knew you had a thing for writing.now it's time to show everyone here that you as good of a writer as i know you are. (sorry if that made no sence.:sweat: )

[Raven37]

Why didn't you tell me i was a good writer?!?!? I could've witten a novel like harry potter by now!!!! What a friend u r.....JK!!!!!:p

[Aquagirl15]

i thought you knew!!! :sweat:

[nevermore]

Writing is hard. I have had many writing ideas, it's just that I'm not motovated enough to put it on paper. (or computer.) If I did, I would have at least published three books already.

[raven54]

nice start! first of all- use paragraphs if you can. for that part, i'm not sure if you could... but just sayin, it's kinda hard on the eyes. i will totally read this if you'll post. i'm not very good at the advice thing... most of the time i have no idea what i'm talking about:sweat: Thank you! I feel so loved!:anime: I was worried that people wouldn't reply to my thread or they wouldn't like it:shrug: But now I know that I am wanted and will post more!:Dwe'll always post. even if it's bad, Kregor and Reid will advise you as will the rest of us... if only to encourage. I was agonizing over the same thing with my thread:sweat: i guess it turned out better than i thought (back on the frickin subject Drae! honestly...) so yeah. if you write it we will come!!:anime:

[Sproxie]

nice start! first of all- use paragraphs if you can. for that part, i'm not sure if you could... but just sayin, it's kinda hard on the eyes. i will totally read this if you'll post. i'm not very good at the advice thing... most of the time i have no idea what i'm talking about:sweat: we'll always post. even if it's bad, Kregor and Reid will advise you as will the rest of us... if only to encourage. I was agonizing over the same thing with my thread:sweat: i guess it turned out better than i thought (back on the frickin subject Drae! honestly...) so yeah. if you write it we will come!!:anime:
Same here but it was a very nice start. i would love to see your first chapter.

:rolleyes: the adults in the house i am in now are hyper active and weird. :sweat:

[nevermore]

Night is upon us and as the moon rises behind the clouds, my dark side emerges.......man I'm hyper, too much suger. hmm, hyper darkness.....wierd.

:D +:eek: =big smile with eyes popping out of head....Insane perhaps?

[T.T.Raven4]

Very good! A fic exploring Ravens pastshould turmn out good. Go for it!

[Raven37]

hmm... I think the first chapter will be out around tonight or tomorrow....:D

[Crowgirl]

Raven37, you want a mob? Oh, I'll give you a mob alright.....

That is, if you don't post soon. Why is it that all the threads that have mobs are started (or at least nudged) by me?

Oh wait, here's the answer:

:evil:

[Sproxie]

uh oh, Raven37 watch out,:sweat: she's the one who started Rae's Mob....

[Crowgirl]

Me? Start a mob?
http://fs5.deviantart.com/i/2004/318/4/7/Rainbow_by_fairytiara.gif (http://www.deviantart.com/view/12267608/)
Oh, never. I'm a much bigger supporter of rainbows and sunshine and daffodils.

Don't you all agree?:evil:

[T.T.Raven4]

*Closes eyes tightly*

YES! YES WE ALL BELIVE U! DON'T HURT ME! AUGH!

Ahem...

[nevermore]

No. I don't agree. block out the rainbows and sunshine, and kill all daffodils! Die stupid flowers, DIE!!!!!:evil:

[Aquagirl15]

you have a thing against daffodils? what did they ever do to you?

[nevermore]

They're too pretty!!! Aaaah:eek: ! Light colors, they burn!

(P.S. They didn't do anything to me, I just don't like flowers.)

[Aquagirl15]

oh so it's not just the daffodils.i take anger out on flowers by pulling the peddels off them. :evil:

[nevermore]

I like to take a dandelion, put the yellow part of it on someone, press down, and move it. It leaves a yellow streak on them. (Start running right afterward or else they'll get you right back.)

[Aquagirl15]

i didn't know that i'll try it sometime! thanks for the evil idea! :evil:

[nevermore]

Oh come on, you should know me better than that......EVIL IS MY THING:evil: !!!!

[Raven37]

Aquagirl, Nevermore's quote "die daffodils, DIE!" reminded me of "Die hobos, DIE!"
P.S. Aquagirl, Katie (will be Beastgirl17 when she joins) helped me get really far on my Tony Hawk Underground game. I'll have to show you Hawaii......and Moscow...and...and...a bunch of other stuff!:anime:

[Aquagirl15]

her name is cool. i knew Katie would do something w/ BB though. she's practly in love with him!!!

[Raven37]

Define love...(fairly odd parents quote..hehehe...).....Katie doesn't love him like Robin/Star love; Katie thinks BB is really cool.

[Aquagirl15]

right like your and mine's thing for Raven?

[Raven37]

yeah...uh, wait...I thought you liked Terra?:confused:

[Aquagirl15]

Raven,Terra,Beast Boy....in order from fav. to least fav. and BB is not least fav just too lazy to put the whole list up.

[nevermore]

I've never givin the fav to least fav list much thought. Hmmmm. Well all I know is that Raven is my favorite character.

[Raven37]

*@#%^$!:mad: I just typed my whole new chapter for everyone and accidentally pressed the 'back' button and have to type it all over again....but I'll get it out as soon as I can!:sweat:

[nevermore]

You won't believe how many times that's happened to me. I'm just glad that it didn't happen last night. That chapter took me forever to type!

[Raven37]

Really? I have a well-thought-out list: (favorite) Raven, Cyborg, Robin, BB, Starfire, Terra (least favorite).

Anyway...another chapter for ye:

Chapter 1

An excited young Raven flipped open her new diary and turned to the first page. She grabbed a pencil and started writing.

Dear Diary,

Hello, my name is Raven. I am 10 years old. I was born and live in a place called Azarath. I am told it is in another dimension from the planet Earth. I was born with tremendous power. A power that I'm not fully aware of its capabilities. But what I know is I can move objects with magic words. My powers can be fun, but sometimes I don't like them...at all. I have broken things and lost control of my powers before. Especially on holidays or emotional events. My mother and my friend Renein are teaching me ways to control my powers. Meditating is the best one. It helps a lot.

My father's name is Trigon. He is a strong and massive demon. A lot of it is fault that I have more trouble mantaining control over my powers than most people. He was banned from Azerath after he tried to take over it and failed. My mother is not sure exactly where he is. You could definitely say he's not much of a father figure.

I have been home schooled all my life (and still am) by my mother. She has taught me basic subjects, and even a few spells. When I am not being taught by my mother, I usually play with my two best friends. One of them's name is Renein (who I mentioned earlier). He is a few years older than me and very good with his powers. He helps me a lot. I hope to become like him someday.

My other friend's name is Spheira. She has the same powers as me except hers are a glistening light blue...while mine are black. She is my best friend and is the same age as me.

That's basically all about me. If anything interesting happens, you'll be the first one to know.

Raven cautiosly looked around to see if anyone was watching her. She was relieved to see that she was alone. She searched her room for a good place to put her new treasure. She didn't find any place that fitted her need. There was a knock on her door. She quickly thrusted her book under her matress of her bed.

"What are you doing in here Raven?" asked a gentle voice as the door slowly opened.

"Oh, mom, I was just...thinking." A flustered Raven replied.

"Okay, but you should eat something. It's already one o'clock and you havn't eaten anything all day" Raven's mother, Arella, insisted.

"Okay." Raven said as she walked out of her room.


Hope you liked it!!!! And Raven54, I took your advice on the paragraphs!!!:D

[raven54]

Nice job! the paragraphs make it much easier to read;) and you can call me Drae, ya know... anyways, only one gripe: i think you should've made Raven a bit older, cuz i've never heard a 6-year-old with that kind of vocabulary...

[Raven37]

Hmm...yes...I will work on the right vocabulary choices for Raven when she's at her particular ages.

[Aquagirl15]

Raven too big vocabulary for such young child. only coment though. it was great and i hope you post more soon!!! :D no fluff on this thread i promise!!!

[Raven37]

Yes, I have already stated that I would work on the age thing.;) CAN YOU NOT READ?????.....jk:p

[Sproxie]

actually, i've heard of a 6 year old with that kind of vocabulary :sweat:
great chapter raven37, i only have one comment though, when people refer to raven's past in their stories, (not just you raven37) Raven was raised by the princess of Azarath untill she was 10 years old, not her mother. or at least thats what i've read somewhere. :shrug: either way, good chapter ;) .

[Raven37]

Oh really????:confused: I've never heard of that....oh, well, it just won't be in my fic:sweat:

[Aquagirl15]

me either. well i haven't read any of the comics so that might explain something :shrug:

[T.T.Raven4]

Keep posting! It's pretty good. I like how this thing will explore Ravens past and show us more about her. Survey says, KEEP GOING!


~:gir: ~ GIR! (Sorry I had to do that)

[Raven37]

I like Gir!!!! He's cool!!!:gir: And thank you!:anime:

[Aquagirl15]

Gir is cute!!!! :gir: he's a robot but the show that he was on isn't on anymore.:(

[Raven37]

Yes it is. It's on Nicktoons, if you have that channel....

[T.T.Raven4]

Yea, but thats for people who have like 1000000000000000000000 channels (LIKE MY DAD!) We have that channel, and I love that show. I watch it whenever it's on.

[Raven37]

Yea, I have that channel...and yes I have satellite and have like 100000000000000000000000000000 channels;) I watch the show every once in awhile.:anime:

[T.T.Raven4]

I said 100000000000000000000000000000

U said 1000000000000000000000

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH! lol. I dont have satelite though.

[Raven37]

Oh, I'm so sorry. That's such a huge mistake. I better go back to 1st grade.....jk;) I also have direct TV.....but I usually don't bother to use its movies and such...:shrug:

P.S. and acually, your number had 21 0's, and mine had 29 0's.....lol:rolleyes:

[T.T.Raven4]

NUH UH! MINE HAD 29 ~Thingys! U had 21 ~ Thingies! Lol.

Maybe you should go back to 1st grade:p I left my brain there. :D

[Raven37]

Okay, my last argue (since it's posting noncence on my thread): on your first quote thing you had 21. On my first one I had 29. Can I get some back up here? Wait nevermind.....no more fluff....if it makes you feel any better, we can end it now and you can win. Okay, I like that, so,*applause for T.T. Raven and blah blah blah...* Congradulations;) ....lol:D

[T.T.Raven4]

Oh whoops! You're right! Lol! Sorry! But I still win cuz u said so! :p

Anyway, Sprox is right. I thought she was raised by the princess. But it dont matter to me one bit. Great fic, keep writing.

[Raven37]

Ugh...why must my un-selfishness make me lose my battles?....jk;) Anyway I'll try to post more soon!:anime:

[Crowgirl]

*Cough* Senseless Chatter *Cough* Ah.... what was I going to say?

Oh yes...

POST MORE OR DIE!!!

[Raven37]

Yes *cough* quite much *cough* Anyway, Yay!!!! A death threat from Crowgirl! I feel so loved!:anime:

[Crowgirl]

You should. I don't believe I've gotten any death threats at all. :sweat:

I mean, not that I'd want them or anyhing....:shrug:

[nevermore]

I haven't gotten any death threats at all. I feel so alive:D .......darn it!:mad:

[T.T.Raven4]

I have 1 death threat from Crowgilr! I love it! I'M APPRECIATED! jk:p

[nevermore]

Death threats for me: zero? WHAT? Am I lucky or underappreciated. (Woah, big word.)

[Raven37]

Okay, I'm sorry I havn't been able to post another chapter for awhile, I've been really busy.*looks at pile of homework and wishes I could demolish it w/ heat vision* I promise I will get a chapter out this weekend if that pile gets done. *sees annoyed faces* Which is very likely!!!:sweat: Do not worry!!! ;)

[Raven37]

For all you people in doubt, doubt no more! I am back! Sorry I haven't posted in about a week...I've been really busy.

Anyway, another chapter for thou:

Chapter (2?):

Raven walked down the staircase and into her kitchen. She grabbed an apple from a basket on the table. She looked out of one of the windows. It was a nice afternoon, so she decided to go out.

As she walked out, she decided she wasn't hungry, so she dropped the apple. She walked forward onto a path. She looked around as she moved forward. She looked at Azarath. This was her home. She wondered if she would ever leave Azarath. As she thought about that subject, she realized how much she would miss it if she did. She sighed and continued on.

She stopped at an old willow tree. She sat down and started to think. There was not a lot of things going on in her life right now. She new that she'd rather have nothing going on than something horrible happening, but she still wished something would happen.

She thought about all the possibilities of events that could happen. As she was reminiscing, a thought came to her: she hadn't meditated today. She started to panic. As she has goten older, she had become more dependent on meditation. Without it, she could lose control of her powers, or do something horrible in her sleep.

She decided to try and get some meditation time in now. She sat up and began to levitate. She chanted, "Azarath...metrion...zi-Ugh!" She fell to the ground. She couldn't get her mind focussed. She regained her posture and, once again, chanted her words,"Azerath...metrion...zinth-Ow!" She hit the dirt with a loud "thump." Frustrated, she hastily sat up, levitated in the air, and tried to keep her mind from wandering. "Azarath...metrion...zinthos...aza-Ahhhhh!!!!!" Instead of hitting the hard ground, she felt as if she was falling through an endless hole. She kept trying to see what was going on, but she was in too much pain. Her head hurt so badly and couldn't get the strength to open her eyes.

She was in so much pain. She couldn't take it. It was like she could die any second. Then, there was someone laughing. It seemed as they were laughing at her. She saw a blurred figure. It looked like a man. The man looked tall and he was looking straight at her. Then, she heard a voice. She could not make out what the voice was saying. The strange thing was, the voice was not coming from the figure standing in front of her. She kept listening to see where the voice was coming from.

The voice became clearer. It was yelling, "Raven! Raven! Are you okay? Wake up!" She felt someone shaking her. The pain started to drift away. When it was all gone, she slowly opened her eyes. Renein was in front of her with a worried look on his face.

When he realized Raven's eyes were open and that she was okay, he gave a sigh of relief. "What happened?" he asked. "I...I don't know. I was trying to meditate and I...I...I just don't know."

Raven explained all that she could to him. After she was done, there was a long silence. They were both thinking. Finally, Renein said, "C'mon, lets go home." Raven gave a silent nod as they walked on.


"What happened?" asked a cold voice, "did you not get her?" "Um...well, someone woke her from the trance before she arrived" A small man stumbled and stuttered. The man with the cold voice sighed. "We will get her tonight. She has not meditated and her mind is weak," he said as a smirk appeared on his face.



Okay, that's what I have for you for now. I hope you liked it! I will get the next chapter out as soon as I can!:D

[nevermore]

Oh, Oh, I know! Pick me, Pick me!!!! The man with the cold voice, is Trigon! Am I right? Please tell me! Oh yeah.......Post soon, or I might run out of death threats to post.

[Sproxie]

good chapter post soon! (i'd rather skip the death threats....)

[Adrastea]

Sprox 083good chapter post soon! (i'd rather skip the death threats....)
Please do, if only so those readers with problematic sleeping problems don't have nightmares about how if they become writers they will die.

[Raven37]

Sorry, not trigon:sweat:...And thank you for the feedback! I feel so loved! I will post more as soon as possible. I have many ideas for the next chapter.:D

[Aquagirl15]

oooooo! thank you for new chapter!:anime: on my fic no one would let me go a week without posting. espically now because they are anticapiting my new bad guy's name! :p anyway good chapter and i can hurt you if you don't post soon! i know where you live!!!! :D

[Raven37]

Okay, the rest of chapter 2 for you!:

Chapter 2 (continued):


Raven and Renein walked until they stopped at Raven's house. They said their goodbyes and parted. Raven walked to the back of her house to the door that led to her kitchen. She walked up to the door, opened it, and walked in. She was greeted with silence. She looked to see if her mom was anywhere, but did not spot her. She made her way up the stairs, to her room.

She thought maybe she should meditate, but was unsure of what could happen. She lied down on her bed and thought of what she could do to occupy herself, after all, it was only 7:00. She was thinking, when an idea of entertainment came to her. She got off her bed and lifted up her mattress. She grabbed her diary and jumped back onto her bed.

She looked at her diary for a moment. For some reason, it didn't interest her anymore. Maybe it was one of those things where they're good for the first few minutes, then they become worthless. She thought about it for a minute, then decided maybe it was one of those things, or maybe she just wasn't in the mood for writing. She put the diary back and sighed in disappointment. She lied back down on her bed. She had meant to doze off, but she did.

When Renein was done taking Raven home, he didn't go home himself. No, he needed to talk to somebody. He kept his pace down the path he was walking on. Eventually he came to a house. He walked up to the door and gave a brief knock. There was no answer, so he tried one more time. Still no answer. He tried opening the door. To his surprise, it wasn't locked. He walked in. He looked around to find no one downstairs. He made his way up the stairs.

He searched all of the upstairs area, but still did not succeed in finding her. The only place he hadn't looked was the roof. He wearily climbed another set of stairs. When he got to the top, he found her levitating in the air sitting indian style. She was meditating. Renein slowly walked up to her and said,
"Spheira?" as he tapped her on the shoulder. She had been so deep in meditation, she had not realized that Renein was behind her. She fell straight to the ground with a loud 'thump'.

Spheira stood up rubbing her head with an agrivated look on her face. Renein had not meant to spook her. "Sorry...," he said with a smile. She gave him a smile back. "What do you want?" she asked. "I need to talk to you about Raven," he replied. "Okay, what's the matter?" she asked as she sat down on the cold roof. Renein sat down beside her and started telling her about what had happened back by the old willow tree.

When he was done there was a short pause, then he said, "Do you think it could be-" "Yes, and that's why you should go check on Raven," Spheira said, "Since she hasn't meditated, he could get her while she is sleeping. It's already 9:00. You better hurry." "Okay. I'll go now. Bye." Spheira gave a wave of her hand as Renein walked off.

Renein walked down the path to Raven's house. The walk slowly turned into a run as he was getting closer. He got more worried with every step. When he got there, he gave a loud knock on the door. Arella appeared at the door. "Renein, can I help you?" she asked. "I...need to...see Raven," he told her with the breath he had left from running. "I think she's asleep. Maybe you should come back tomorrow." Arella suggested. "No, please. It's very urgent." Renein pleaded. "Well, I guess," Arella said as she opened the door for Renein to come in.

Renein hastily hurried up the stairs to the room that belonged to Raven. He opened the door to find Raven on the floor grasping her head. He walked over to her, but before he could do anything, she had disappeared with a big flash of light and a loud crack.

"RAVEN!!!" he cried.

-----------------------------------------------

Okay, please tell me if you liked it!!!:D I am getting, like, no feedback!!!!! I want to now how my story is coming along!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!:crying:

[T.T.Raven4]

CLIFFHANGER! *Screams*

Good chapter. AllI can say is, when someone new starts talking, skip a couple lines so we know it's a new sentence. It's kinda hard to understand who's talking when it' scrunched together.

[nevermore]

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: woah:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: I like it......ALOT!!!!! Write more please :crying: :crying: :crying: <-you can't resist this face.

[ShadowOfAGhost]

You should. I don't believe I've gotten any death threats at all. :sweat:

I mean, not that I'd want them or anyhing....:shrug:
Stop posting Death Threats or Die!!!:evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:

(feel better?);)

[Raven37]

Thank you for the feedback!!! I will probably post more on Saturday or Sunday.

-Raven37http://fs5.deviantart.com/i/2004/306/9/0/Cunyao_by_zau.gif

P.S. Um, Shadowofaghost, did you like my chapter?:sweat:

[Aquagirl15]

i sure did!!! poor Renein! he tried to help her but he couldn't! that always makes people feel bad. good job! i also think you should skip lines. ;) oh well, post more or suffer!!!!

sorry about the could-be-called death threat. it was just an automatic thing. :sweat:

[Raven37]

I promise I will skip lines next time.;)

[ShadowOfAGhost]

the story has an excelent premise and you are doing very well with the cliff hangers:evil: . The grammer could use a little work. My overall recomendations:

1. Invest in wrod proscessing software (ie: Microsoft Word 2000 is my favorite) type your chapters in there and you can save them on your computer and prevent a major headach. Word will also chek your Grammer and spelling as you type and point out the mistakes for you.
2. don't get stressed out about making sure you post as fast as you can. If you have too much homework to do, that is more important. I myself can only post a new chapter once per week at the most.
3. Consider yourself lucky, I've only had my thread open for about a week and have yet to overflow on to a second page, where as you already are on page 5!
4. Keep posting!!!:D

[Raven37]

Thank you for the critisism/tips/feedback/Whatever the heck you want to call it! I am starting to use my Word and yes it helps a lot, altho I still make a typo or two everyonce in awhile. (Oh, and I have Microsoft Works, word processor.) Homework: I always put that first, but I try not to wait too long to post. (for the sake of these people):D

-Raven37http://fs5.deviantart.com/i/2004/306/9/0/Cunyao_by_zau.gif

[ShadowOfAGhost]

good to hear, and if you ever want something proofread before you post it you can always send it to me via PM and I'll do my best to do so as soon as I can an reply with comments as soon as I can.:)

[ShadowOfAGhost]

yes it would definatly seem that these people are savages and would bite your head off if you wait too long to post. Know this, though, If the Mob should rear it's ugly and threatening head (This is an attack on the mob, not an insult to it's members, so don't chew me up for it) than the anti-mob shall stand ready to protect you. Don't let their empty threats scare you because it is as obiwon Kenobi once said: "strike me down and I shall become more powerfull than you can ever imagine.":cool:

But then again, all he did after vader killed him was to give advice in the form of the worlds greatest understatements (run, luke, run!):sad: :shrug:

[CaligoRae]

like i said. very good!! I like it and can't wait to hear more!!!:anime: :anime:

[Raven37]

You should have seen me and Aquagirl's little conversation about ducktape on the intro thread....soo much rambling, the mods had to delete it...:sweat: But don't worry about it. A little fluff doesn't bother me. Anyway, I'M PART OF THE MOB!!!!! Oh, no!!!! Will they go Terra on me?:eek: ......jk


-Raven37http://fs5.deviantart.com/i/2004/306/9/0/Cunyao_by_zau.gif

P.S. Thank you CR!!!:anime:

[CaligoRae]

What is this MOD u speak of???:confused: :confused:

[Raven37]

The Mods are like the people who run the site. They have the power to delete your posts, lock your threads, or even ban you from the website. (And that's why we must be good little angels http://fs5.deviantart.com/i/2004/319/6/0/Spread_Your_Wings_by_Zikes.gif (http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/12294449/))


-Raven37http://fs5.deviantart.com/i/2004/306/9/0/Cunyao_by_zau.gif

[ShadowOfAGhost]

The Mod is short for moderator, they keep tabs on the threads to make sure that they aren't getting insanely huge or way off topic. They also check to make sure that no one postes in apropriate material such as profanity or vulgar\suggestive material. depending on the case they may ask you to delete the posting with the offense in it. you can find out more information about the rules under the FAQ link at the top of the screen. Also, they're nice enough to post links so that you can e-mail them if you have any questions about the nature of what you want to post or something like that.:shrug:

For the record, I am not one of the mods, I just make sure to read all rules and guidelines carefully.:sweat:
__________________

[ShadowOfAGhost]

You should have seen me and Aquagirl's little conversation about ducktape on the intro thread....soo much rambling, the mods had to delete it...:sweat: But don't worry about it. A little fluff doesn't bother me.\Duct tape is the greatest. It's right up there with air as one of the things that is nescesary for life. Without it the human race as we know it would crumble.:D

Interesting fact of the day: The Duck Brand Duct Tape company will give you a scholorship to college if you and your date both wear duct tape outfits to prom.
***also so you know, both Duct Tape and Duck Tape are acceptable names for it as the first refers to what it is called by those in the construction buissness and the second refers to the name given to it by the military for it's great waterproofing capabilities shortly after its invention during WWII***

To the Mods: I appologize if I went off on too much of a tangent here, I promise to stay on subject in the future.:(

[Raven37]

Oops, I meant to spell it 'duct tape'....oh, well....Anyway, let's advert our conversation far, far, far away from duct tape.;)

[ShadowOfAGhost]

Oops, I meant to spell it 'duct tape'....oh, well....Anyway, let's advert our conversation far, far, far away from duct tape.;)agreed. Let's stay FAR away from the subject as possible.:(

here's to getting it out of my system...DUCT TAPE RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D :D :D

[Raven13]

Alright THAT WAS SOOO COOL!!!!:D i loved it even though the beggining was kinda hard to read but once u put it in paragraphs it was easer!!!!:D ;) like i said before u r a great writer continue!!!
O yea and i hate cliffhangers (but that dosent mean there bad that means that it will make me read more) GOOD JOB:)

Alright this is the last tiem IT IS SODA NOT POP!!!!!!!
anyone says otherwise:evil: well i think u get the picture!!

[Raven13]

again it me i think we should stay away from that subject but all i have to say is............. DUCT TAPE RULES and i have a friend that makes duct tape clothes!:D

[rrarbecy]

My sister has a duct tape wallet. SODA!!!

[Crowgirl]

Like this, more. Now. Please.

[Raven37]

I am very sorry I didn't get it out last Sunday.:sad: VERY SORRY!!!!!!!!!!! My mean mother loves kicking me off the computer to go read a book or do chores.:mad: :crying: Just ask Aquagirl. I intended on posting more soon. Tonight is my Dad's birthday, so we're going out to eat, so I won't get time tonight. But I will as soon as possible. As for the other subjects- 1.YAY!!! Rrarbecy posted on my fic! *does little dance* 2. IT IS SODA!!!!! I am glad to see we have more supporters of soda for the debate! 3.Duct tape is awesome.:D 4. Thank you Raven13! Okay... I think that's all I have to say.


-Raven37http://fs5.deviantart.com/i/2004/306/9/0/Cunyao_by_zau.gif

I promise a new chapter will be out soon!:anime:

[ShadowOfAGhost]

Just tell your mother that your writing helps you expand your skills and vocabulary as a speaker and that it's overall good for you to explore the creative writing process.;)

[raven54]

y'all are just weird... i've NEVER heard anyone say soda EVER. Besides going to Boston, but that doesn't count. here my coach was making fun of us for taking too long to say "shoulder"... bottle o'pop! MUCH faster than soooddaaa.

on duct tape... i fix my old jeans with duct tape. it works pretty well

on the DVD: i'm gonna go find it as soon as i can get a ride!

Rae37, i am wishful of a post pretty soon, when you can manage it...:crying:

*disclaimer* yes i am aware of the fact the fact that at least 2/3 of the country says soda. come to Minnesota and i'll be HAPPY to laugh at you for the other 1/3. CONFORMISTS!!! jk, jk.

[Pookey]

I love this fic. I don't read many Raven past fic.s but this one is awsome!!


Thats such a fun word to say, pop

[Aquagirl15]

we of the soda believers must ban together!!!!:D ok all i got to say on the off-topic subject. i'm sorry u haven't got to post in a while and i do know her mom. kina a neat-freak, control-person, well i won't say anymore. these are not insults they are just overall views of what u could call her mom. more story soon please! :crying:

[ShadowOfAGhost]

Here's to ending the Soda\Pop thing. I posted the same thing on my thread.

1. It DOESN'T MATTER!!!!!!!!!
2. it's a preferential thing as both words are just shortend versions of the origional name --> Soda Pop

Now everybody shake hands :rolleyes: and let's all be friends again.

[Aquagirl15]

good idea. i'm sorry u guys. *hugs all that were invovled in soda/pop thing* ok back to story... WRITE MORE OR SUFFER!!!!!!:evil: :evil: :evil:

[T.T.Raven4]

y'all are just weird... i've NEVER heard anyone say soda EVER. Besides going to Boston, but that doesn't count. here my coach was making fun of us for taking too long to say "shoulder"... bottle o'pop! MUCH faster than soooddaaa.
THANK YOU! IT IS POP PEOLE! POP! NOT SODA GEEZ!

Sorry, I had to say something. Anyhoo, write more please.

[Pookey]

Not again!!!

How about we just call it Coke? *everyone starts throwing bottles, and cans at me* OKKKAAAYYY!!! Forget I said anything!

[T.T.Raven4]

Not again!!!

How about we just call it Coke? *everyone starts throwing bottles, and cans at me* OKKKAAAYYY!!! Forget I said anything!
NOT COKE! Cocaine! Lol! (For those who don't know, cocaine is a dangerous drug, and it's abbreviation is Coke)

*Throws can at Pookey*

[Raven37]

Eh, eh, eh!!! Let's just forget about the whole soda/pop thing.... and let's keep this thread drug-free.;) Anyways, I really hope to get another chapter out friday night. Please be patient with me!:D


-Raven37http://fs5.deviantart.com/i/2004/306/9/0/Cunyao_by_zau.gif

[raven54]

http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/h/hug.gif http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/h/hug.gif http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/h/hug.gif it is laid to rest... HUGS FOR ALL!!

[Pookey]

*Throws can at Pookey*ouch!
Yeah, the argument is settled!! Woohoo!

[T.T.Raven4]

http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/h/hug.gifHUGGLES! YAY!

PS: Write More! I want next chapter!

[Raven37]

I'm pretty sure the next xhapter will be out tomorrow night. I'll work as hard as I can to get it posted!:D


-Raven37 http://fs5.deviantart.com/i/2004/331/c/4/_raven__by_FreeLancerFox.gif

P.S.:^: Do you like my new little icon by my name?

[ShadowOfAGhost]

hmm... interesting. I know where you get most of the symbols(next to the area where you type your postings and the more button underneath) but where do you all seem to find all the others?

[Raven37]

DeviantART.com. Here's the site: http://browse.deviantart.com/icons/emoticons/ :D It's awesome!

-Raven37http://fs5.deviantart.com/i/2004/331/c/4/_raven__by_FreeLancerFox.gif

P.S. New chapter will probably be out tomorrow night!:anime:

[Aquagirl15]

i looked and found a dude as stupid as me!!!! WRITE MORE OR SUFFER!!!! so this isn't a fluff post.


-Aquagirl15 http://fs5.deviantart.com/i/2004/335/9/b/S_P_L_A_T_by_bren.gif (http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/12762212/)

[Raven37]

That's........ AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love that one Aquagirl! It goes well as your icon because you are right, it is as stupid as you!!!!!!!!!!:D jk


-Raven37http://fs5.deviantart.com/i/2004/331/c/4/_raven__by_FreeLancerFox.gif

[Pookey]

I love the icon Aquagirl15. It is soo cool!

please post soon!

[ShadowOfAGhost]

And so we shall continue to wait...

Oh well, might as well work on my next chapter in the mean time.:)

[Crowgirl]

I have probably mentioned how impatient I get can somewhere on this fic before, if I haven't, let me make it clear.

Post Soon!! I'm getting impatient, you won't like me when I'm impatient....

[Raven37]

Okay! It's done! Sorry I didn't get it out friday night, but Saturday morning is close enough. Here it is!:


Chapter 3:

What’s happening? Raven thought as she was falling farther and farther. Why is this happening? Intense pain crept all over her body. She grasped her head tightly and kept her eyes squeezed in fear. Once again, she heard a voice. She couldn’t clearly hear the words the voice spoke, but she knew it wasn’t Renein. No, this voice was deep and dark. It wasn’t the voice she had heard before back at the willow tree either. The voice that had been laughing at her was of a slightly higher pitch.

Suddenly, the feeling of falling stopped. There had been no extra pain in the so-called landing, but she still had the pain from earlier.

She winced as she slowly opened her eyes. There were two blurred figures standing above her. One was very tall, and the other was a little shorter. The shorter figure spoke something to the taller one. There. Raven thought. That was the voice I heard by the willow.

The pain piercing her body was beginning to die down. She hoped it would soon completely go away.

Now, the taller figure said something. Since the pain was decreasing, Raven could hear more clearly. The tall figure said, “It is time.” Then, he loudly yelled three words Raven was not farmiliar with, “Aphire, hephneraph, CALISTAU!” He thrusted his hands toward her. Crackling bright green light flew from the fingertips of this mysterious man, towards Raven.

Once the light reached her body, she encountered pain like no other. It was worse than anything she had ever felt. Raven let out an ear shattering scream. Is he trying to kill me? she thought to herself as everything became blurred once again.

She felt herself being thrusted down very quickly. She only fell for about five seconds before landing on what seemed like, a soft bed of flowers. All he pain from her body had deceased, and she no longer felt herself, in any way, falling.

She slowly opened her eyes. She sat up with caution and looked around. It looked like she was in some fairy tale. She knew she definitely wasn’t anywhere near Azerath. There were many large trees and beautiful plants around her. There were also many animals running around the area. Some she recognized and some she had never seen before. She had never seen a place like this ever before.

She examined her body for any cuts or bruises. Surprisingly, there were none. She took another look around this new environment. She looked down to see that, indeed, she had landed in a bed of flowers.

She walked out of the flowers and onto a field of grass. She sat down and began to think to herself. She was so confused about what was happening, but the fresh air and warm breeze made her forget all her troubles.

She gazed up into the blue sky and started humming. A few minutes later, she heard a small rustling sound in the grass by her feet. She quickly looked down to find a small bird looking at her. It was a raven. It took a step closer to her. Raven extended her hand out toward it motioning for it to climb on her finger. The raven looked at her hand, then into her big dark blue eyes. Raven stared back into it’s small black eyes. They continued this for a few minutes, then Raven slowly pulled her hand back to her body.

They continued to stare for another moment, then the raven gave a small caw. Raven smiled, then looked up to the sky again.

Suddenly, two more ravens fluttered down and landed by the first raven. All three of them gave another small caw. Raven looked at them for awhile, then, some more ravens landed by the others. They all gave a synchronized caw.

Raven stared, once again, into all the small eyes. Neither Raven nor the ravens made any movement.

Seconds later, even more little ravens landed around her. There had to be at least 20 of them. Once again, they all gave a small caw.

Raven was very curious about why they were all so interested in her. She continued to stare into all of their beady black eyes.

About two minutes later, twice as many ravens landed down by all the others. They all gave another soft caw. The caw was quite loud because now, there had to be at least 40 of them.

Raven stared blankly at them. This was very unusual. She looked straight into the original raven’s eyes. It looked directly at her. They maintained this position for a minute or two, then the raven shut it’s eyes. It slowly opened them revealing four red ones.

Raven gasped. Slowly, all the ravens’ eyes turned from two black ones, to four red ones. Raven cautiously backed away from them, for she knew those eyes. They were they eyes of her father. The eyes of… Trigon.

________________________________
Please tell me if you liked it!:D
The rest of chapter 3 will hopefull be out tonight, or Sunday.;)

[nevermore]

I have come to a conclusion. This is very very good. It just takes forever for you to write your chapters, oh well, I like this story.:D

[ShadowOfAGhost]

The premise and the story line is good. I would just recomend reading ot over once in your head and once outloud once you finish it to make sure your diction (word choice) is clear. Good job though.

[Aquagirl15]

yay!!!!!!! you finally posted more!!! this was really good and we don't want to have to wait a week to find out what happens to Raven. post soon or i will loose intrest! JK! but still post soon! :D

[T.T.Raven4]

Nice! Go Trigon! Go Trigon! OOOOOOOHHHHH YEEEEEEEEEEEEEA! Lol.

That was good! Write more!

[CaligoRae]

EEEPPP!!!! OK now i feel like Starfire or something. Anyways. VERY AWSOME FREAKIN GOOD STORY. Hahahaha that sounded weird. Back to the piont, PLEASE continue, it is very good. Don't make me get crowgirl in here and poke u with her chopsticks. ( hehehe sry CG, i thought it would sound funny.) That is if she ever gets done pokeing Sprox(sp?)(sry i could not go back and see if it had any #'s or anything cause if i did then it would erase my thingy. Anyways, sry.):crying: :sweat:

[Raven37]

Thank you for the feedback! I feel so loved.:anime: Anyways, I am very soory to announce that there might only be one new chapter a week (on weekends: Friday night, Saturday, and Sunday) My mom doesn't like me on the computer on weeknights.:crying: Also (more bad news.:sad:) This coming weekend on Saturday(morning), I have to take the ACT test, so the chapter probably won't be out friday night. I will have to go to bed early friday night because I don't want to be tired for it.;) I'm gonna try and get it out Saturday during the day.(Aquagirl is gonna spend the night at my house Saturday night. Which I am very happy about though.)


-Raven37http://fs5.deviantart.com/i/2004/331/c/4/_raven__by_FreeLancerFox.gif

[ShadowOfAGhost]

You're taking the ACT?:confused: :confused: :confused:
Usualy you take the SAT first and then the ACT, but you take the SAT in 11th or 12th grade. oh well, I live in Maryland, it might be different in your state...unless you're involved in one of those national talent search things:eek: where they take all the smart kids, put 'em in a room and have them take tests to show the High School Kids that they were outdone by a 14 year old.

[ShadowOfAGhost]

#1. LOL
#2-4. my brain has come to a screeching halt
#5. Interesting

LLama song: oooooooooookay.

When the world erupts in to mindless chaos and ultimatly stops spining, I know what to blame. God help us all.

[Aquagirl15]

You're taking the ACT?:confused: :confused: :confused:
Usualy you take the SAT first and then the ACT, but you take the SAT in 11th or 12th grade. oh well, I live in Maryland, it might be different in your state...unless you're involved in one of those national talent search things:eek: where they take all the smart kids, put 'em in a room and have them take tests to show the High School Kids that they were outdone by a 14 year old.
no they just want to prove to us that we're not as smart as we think we are. i'm taking it too and i'm very dumb! eye cann't enev selpp rite. JK but still i'm not a special smart kid either. i just take eight grade math. :shrug:

[ShadowOfAGhost]

either way, good luck with that!

[Raven37]

You see, the ACT I'm taking next week is to try to get into this summer camp. The summer camp is at Joseph Baldwin Academy and you get to take a real college class. You get to live in the dorms for 3 weeks, have a roommate (that will be interesting...), have a regular college schedual, do your laundry, and have homework. If I am one of the kids that do excedingly well, I get to go to that camp. YAY!:D If I'm not one of the chosen ones, I don't go to the camp. NOT YAY!:crying: If I do get chosen, I'm gonna take the photo shop class. Taking and editing pictures is fun!:anime: Oh, and I am in 7th grade.;) Now, that's the ACT. Guess what? I also get to take the SAT in January! This is the one that Aquagirl gets to take too.;) This one's just a talent search one. For the ACT, I will be all alone...:sad: Oh, well, maybe one of my other friends from school will be there... Beastgirl would be if she was planning on going to the college. Oh, did I mention that it costs 1000 dollars to go?:sweat: Yea, and that's why Beastgirl isn't going. *Looks up at previous paragraph* Wow. I talk a lot.:sweat: Anyways, that's all I have to say. Over and out.

-Raven37http://fs5.deviantart.com/i/2004/331/c/4/_raven__by_FreeLancerFox.gif

P.S. Oh, wait... I'm not done blabbing! About my signiture... I'm glad you like it! Here, this is what I think about my special links:

Llama song: IT ROCKS!!!! WOO! (My 2 cousins showed it to me)
1 (At Walmart): Soooo funny! (My friend Teia told me about the site it was on, then I found the Walmart thing.)
2 (ED!): Awesome. (My 2 cousins showed it to me.)
3 (Ninja burger): Ninja-rific! It's funny too. (Also shown to me by my 2 cousins)
4 (Hampster dance): A little scary, but funny... (Shown to me by my 2 cousins... again)
5: (deviantART): It has great art!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love it! It's also where I get my cool neat-o avatars. (I found this one by myself.);)

Okay... now I'm done.:sweat:

[CaligoRae]

:crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :crying: :crying: :crying:

[Pookey]

:eek: cooool

[Raven37]

OH, I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOO SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I didn't get any time to write/type my new chapter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:( I had a really busy weekend!

First of all, I had to go to bed early Friday night for the ACT test. Then, I had to get up at 6:00 to get ready and eat breakfast. Then, I took the LONG ACT test. It was from 8:00 to 12:00! And it was really hard! I think I did good on the english part of it though. The math part was soooooo hard! Half the problems I had no clue what the heck they were talking about! (I'm only in 7th grade) Then, when I finished the test, I went home for an hour, then Aquagirl came to my house.(that was a good thing, but obviously I can't/don't want to type my story with her at my house. We wanted to do other stuff.) We had a fun time. WE made cookies, played board games, watched 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail', and stayed up 'till 2:00! We also got to IM Pookey. That was fun!!!:D But then, fun can't last forever... (Aquagirl's mom picked her up at 12:30... *sigh*) Then, I was gonna post more on my story bot, NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My mother made me go clean up our rental house!!!!!!!!!! (Our rental house is a house [other than our normal house we live in] that we bought 'cause it was all run down. We were gonna fix it up during the Summer [and we did work on it during the summer, and I got paid to help!] but, NO!!!!!!!!!!!! We didn't finish it and we're now finally alsomst ready to seel ot. We have a few people who are interested...) She made me vacume and clean the toilets!:mad: I AM NOT A CUSTODIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am way more civilized! Why can't she see that?:shrug: Anyways, we didn't leave the rental house until, like, 3:00. On our way home, my mom picked up a salad for me at McDonalds. (I know, not the healthiest meal ever.:rolleyes: ) When I got home, I ate that, then I took a shower. After that, my mom made me fo practice my clarinet. After that, I grabbed a cookie (that Aquagirl and I made) and headed up to my room. I told my mom I was gonna read. I started to, but then I realized, that I could easily sneak into the computer room ( also on the second floor and very close to my bedroom) with out her noticing 'cause she was downstairs watching TV, so I did. I checked my inbox for new PMs, then I heard my mom coming upstairs, so I went in my room and read awhile from my book. I got through a few chapters. Then, I I looked out into the hallway to see no trace of her, so I went back on the computer. Then, I ended up here.:D

That's about all that happened over my weekend. Oh, and I also joined the Robin/Star shrine.

*Anyways, thank you anyone who took time to read this. I really had to let all that out... Also, I am very sorry about not posting a new chapter.:sad: I promise to try my very best to get one out next weekend. (I also might post a small fraction of it during the week.;) ) Thank you and have a nice day!:anime:

-Raven37http://fs5.deviantart.com/i/2004/331/c/4/_raven__by_FreeLancerFox.gif

P.S. MONTY PYTHON ROCKED SOOOOOOOO HARD! It was drop-dead hilarious! I recommend it to everybody!!!!!!!!:D

[ShadowOfAGhost]

First off, don't be mad at your mother for doing all those things. I know you hate to hear it, (I know I did) but you'll thank her someday for all the wisdom she has shared with you. Secondly, McDonald's Salad is an oxymoron (Two words which normaly contradict each other put together in a common phrase, ie: military intelegence). Third, you shouldn't base your life around what other people on a forum want you to do. Instead, do what you want when you want to, but never put off the work you need to do (such as studying) to do the work you want to do. I speak from experience, in saying that you need to have a healthy balance of both work and play. Also, if you were a bit more (how should I put this so as not to offend?) respectful and ready to help your mother when she needs you to help, she may just be a bit looser with you instead (maybe even soften up your computer restrictions, just don't beg or try for subliminal hints). Any time you need to vent, we'll always be here for you, ready to listen. I'm not trying to get on your case, I'm just trying to provide support and advice. Remember, the wise (wo)man learns from his mistakes, but the wiser of the two learns from the mistakes of others.:knd1:

Here ends my rant. I pray it doesn't fall on deaf ears.

[Pookey]

Its okay if you don't post so quickly, if your stressed out then just say so. We'll all understand.

If you feel like your going to snap at your mom,(I always feel that way) then take some deep breaths and calm down. It will help you 'think before you speak'. or in my case 'before I lung at her and take her down'. :sweat:
Just go to your mom, and ask as nicly as possible if she can extend your computer time. If that doesn't work, think "What would Pookey do" then DON'T do it. I probally would get you into more trouble. j/k If she doesn't then ask if you did a certain chore, then you could get on the computer. Like a bargain.

If you need to vent, we all will listen. If you want, when I'm on AIM, vent to me. I'll try and help. I trully love to listen to others, b/c I always want to help them out when I can.

ok, I think I covered everything...*rereads post* yep, I think I did.:anime: I hope you did well on the ACT. I'll go and rent Monty Python, and watch it for you. :D

[Aquagirl15]

well that took a while to read... :shrug: but yes you know you can always vent to me or others on the site but i'm awlays here in case they're not! ;) my mom's wisdom seems to have already paid off being that she taught me to love reading at a young age. now i have a bigger vocab than some people and that's all cause i read a lot. THAX MOM!!! :D so i hope you can post next weekend. we will be waiting (im in my case) patiently for the next update!!!! :anime:

[Raven37]

Thanx you guys. I just really want to get my story written/posted. I can only post about once a week and I really wanted to get a chapter up last week.:sad: I had planned to get a chapter up on Sunday, but like I said, I had to do chores. I was just really stressed yesterday because I couldn't. Oh, and I also got 'banned' from the computer until Friday (and yes, I know I'm on now)'cause my mom found those extra pages Aquagirl and I printed out when we were trying just to print one picture. (Of this: )
http://fs5.deviantart.com/i/2004/324/a/b/Teen_Titans_CASH_by_teentitans.jpg
It's super-cool, but we tried to print it off the site we found it on, and it gave us a bunch of extra pages. We just threw the pages into my small trashcan in my room. And, unfortunately, my mom found 'em, and technically, I'm not really sposed to print a lot of pictures, so I got in trouble.:shrug: Anyways, I will try to get another chapter out this weekend. I also will be getting a lot out over Christmas break.:anime:

-Raven37http://fs5.deviantart.com/i/2004/331/c/4/_raven__by_FreeLancerFox.gif

[Kregor8]

I've only read through chapter 2, but I just wanted you to know I'm reading it and like it. Raven is homeschooled! That's so awesome (I'm a homeschooler, in case you couldn't guess). I like the story a lot - you're going to own Raven's past after this. There's only one thing I noticed when I read the stuff. It's easily fixed. You use the word "thought" way too much, both as noun and verb. You should find some synonyms for the noun and alternate ways to express the verb. Other than that, keep up the goods. I'll finish off the rest of it when I get a chance. I've been under heavy schedule lately.

Merry Christmas,
7<regor

[Crowgirl]

Home-schooled sounds better than the crap I go through in Trashland Middle School every day.

This is great! I can't wait for more! Sure, it takes you a while to post (maybe to long...) but it's worth it.

[Raven13]

hey that was really good!!! i liked how Trigon is Back (but hey this is a dark past a bright future) lol anyway great job!!!!:D

~ ~ Raven13 ~ ~

[rrarbecy]

I COME BEARING GOOD NEWS!!! I...love...this...fic
A story about Raven's past? Who better to write that than RAVEN37!? BOO YAH!
I wonder what Trigon has in store for Raven in this new place. I can't wait for more. Godspeed my young friend.

[Raven37]

You......You......You.... LIKE IT?!?!?!?!?:eek: COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am sooo happy!:D I was worried people didn't like it that much because I didn't have that much feedback right away, but I guess I was wrong. Anyways, I am going to get more out this week even if it kills me.;) (or even maybe if it kills Aquagirl...) Hehehe...:sweat: I have many ideas and are armed and dangerous with them.:evil:..... Good news for all: I will also get some extra chapters out (more than one chapter a week) during winter break. YAY! Oh, and thank you all for taking time to read my fic and reply. It makes me very happy.:anime: And thank you Kregor8 for the advice, I will try my best to stretch my vocabulary and use my old friend the thesaurus when I'm in need of synonyms.(It's synonyms right?....) Anyways, thanks again you guys!:D


-Raven37http://fs5.deviantart.com/i/2004/331/c/4/_raven__by_FreeLancerFox.gif

[rrarbecy]

Of course I like it. Raven IS my favorite character. Plus the fact that it's well written.

[Aquagirl15]

yeah synonyms. synonym = same. that's how i remember. :shrug: well you'd better get a lot of writing out during winter break or else i will sacrfice our time we might spend togther so you can get writing done! :sad: i MEAN it!!!! i want more story sooooooooooooooooo bad that i will not come over to your house, but say "i'm sorry please write more and maybe i'll consider it..." :evil: i will. so write more or don't see me over break, your choice!!! :D

[oneeyemonkeypie]

Normally I just go about and pick fics out at random, and post feedback if they really need help. But since you asked for help, I'd love to cross examine this fic.

First-the plot is A+. I love the idea-raven's home was happy, and so was she back there. That is an awesome idea. I don't know where your going with this bad guy idea, but I guess that's the point, isn't it?

Now, I hate to do this, but I have to. In order to truly help you, I've gotta pick this thing apart. And you did want it...

First-you start just about all of your sentences with "she". It's not bad, just repetative and distracting; I had to re-read several parts 'cause I was counting them. Just vary the words you start a sentence with, it shouldn't be hard for a writer as good as you.
Second-yeah, I say it to everyone, but its very applicable. More details. You already have a good writing style, it is expressive but still moves along quickly. However, just showing things a but more can do wonders for any piece of writing.

Case in point:
You wrote He walked in. He looked around to find no one downstairs. in chapter 2.

I would've said- Renein walked in the door, slowly stepping into the small domicile. Although usually cozy, the minute building seemed cold and uninviting. The floorboards groaned in protest as he quietly picked his way across the room. Darkness pervaded the entire place, making the small dark shapes seem that much more menacing. The oppressive silence was clear indication that there was no-one near him. He craned his neck around an oblique corner and saw a dim yellow glow coming from somewhere upstairs. Someone must be home...

Or words to that effect. That's not what I'd post exactly, I just banged it out in 45 seconds. But I think you get the idea.

Now that I'm done making you feel like 5hit,I just wanted to say that I really like this story. Please keep going.

[Aquagirl15]

wow that was complimenting comming from Reid! :D i agree that he is right and that what he put would be make us able to visulize what was going on better. think about how JK Rowling describes things in her books. you feel like you're there! just the author that popped into my head but still. ;) keep writing or my threat from my last post will come into affect! :evil:

[Raven37]

Thank you Reid! I will work hard on that, I promise. Anything from you to improve my story is worth doing. Thanx!:D Oh, and Aquagirl, don't worry, I will get more up during break so you don't have to neglect me.;)


-Raven37http://fs5.deviantart.com/i/2004/331/c/4/_raven__by_FreeLancerFox.gif

[Aquagirl15]

good and now you will bring me.... a SUBBERY!!!! hehehehe. :D

[Kregor8]

Ha. Reid is serious. He really does tell that to everyone. Listen to him - he knows what he's talking about.
I liked chapter three. I liked the new spell words, whatever they were and wherever they came from. It added an aura of originallity to the story. I do agree with Reid, though. You could have describe things more. For instance, the scene with the freaky birdies - it has the potential to be either really peaceful and serene, or really freaky and evil. You, however, made it neither. Because you described it the same way, so many times over, you just kept it middle of the road. That's not to say that it was bad. You still gave us a good scene and a sense of what's going on. It just could have been richer.

Here's my advice (and since I'm so late on this, you've probably already improved exponentially from Reid). Describe all you can. Be overbearing in it. Try to really overdescribe things. List everything you can think of about the scene. Get a good picture in your mind and write everything you can in the most vivid words you can. Try this as an exercise - redo chapter three, if you want. Then send it to me or Reid or somebody who you know is a good writer, and we'll tell you if you've overdone it. Chances are, you won't have. Sounds weird, but trust me. This worked for a friend of mine. If you think I'm stuck up or offering useless advice, or stealling Reid's good idea, maybe your right. I just hope not. Yeah, all this takes time, but it's going to catapult you to the top. I'm glad you want to listen.

7<regor
Ps. Happy Ravens are the nicest Ravens.

[Raven37]

I'm working very hard on writting a good and descriptive chapter 4. I know you and Reid know what you're talking about, so I'm trying my best to take your advice. I really appreciate you giving me advice too.:D I think I will also rewrite chapter three and send it to one of you.;)

-Raven37http://fs5.deviantart.com/i/2004/331/c/4/_raven__by_FreeLancerFox.gif

[ShadowOfAGhost]

good and now you will bring me.... a SUBBERY!!!! hehehehe. :DSHRUBBERY

I agree with both kregor and reid, they make excelent points which you have already read twice. Frankly, I'd say that if you can iron out that one setback in your writing, you'd be Golden! your work shows tremendous potential!

[Aquagirl15]

oops missed a key there; i don't bother looking over my posts, only my story. :shrug: yeah more soon! :D

[Raven37]

oops missed a key there; i don't bother looking over my posts, only my story. :shrug: yeah more soon! :DWell, you really should. Anyways, I'm hoping to finish writing my next chapter tonight and maybe post it. If I can't post it tonight, unfortunately, I won't be able to until Sunday. Beastgirl is spending the night Saturday night. FUN FUN!:anime: And we'll probably watch Monty Python, and PM/IM people, and watch the Llama Song and the Bean Song, and ask my battery-powered heart of wisdom stupid questions.... and so on, and so on. FUN!:D Oh, and just for people who want to know what my heart of wisdom is, it's this little plastic heart that says either 'yes', 'no', or 'maybe', when you press a button on it.;) Last time Beastgirl spent the night, I think we named it Harold.... I'm not really sure....:sweat: Oh, well, it's useless information anyways.:rolleyes:

-Raven37

[ShadowOfAGhost]

Please say you havn't abandoned this story!
:crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying:
You've been getting so much better at it and the story line is so interesting!

[Aquagirl15]

i know she's not abandonding this story because if she was i would have to kill her and i know where she lives! :evil: plus i've read the update she has yet to post. so there is more but she hasn't typed it yet. (as far as i know :shrug:) more or parish!!!!

[Raven37]

I say I'm gonna work extra hard on typing Winter break, but what do I do? Slack off..... *sigh* I typred all the rest of chapter 3 and the beginning of chapter 4 on Word yesterday, but then I had the need of the bathroom. So, I went to the bathroom and then when I came back, MY MOM TURNED THE COMPUTER OFF AND I LOST IT ALL AND I ALSO LOST MY SONG THREAD THINGIE I WAS ABOUT TO POST ON MY SONG THREAD!!!!!!!!!!!!:mad: :crying: :mad: :crying: :mad: :crying: Now I have to type those again!!!:( But I promise you I'll get it out as soon as possible. I'm working on typing it now, so it might be out today if I'm lucky.:D If I do finish typing and posting it, I will work on my song thread.;) I also might work on the RPG if I have time.....

-Raven37 (Who is frustrated at all the stupid pop-ups that keep interrupting her process of typing her fic. They shouldn't even be existing on her c...omputer because she has POP-UIP BLOCKER!!! *sigh*)

[ShadowOfAGhost]

-Raven37 (Who is frustrated at all the stupid pop-ups that keep interrupting her process of typing her fic. They shouldn't even be existing on her c...omputer because she has POP-UIP BLOCKER!!! *sigh*)
Two words: Google. Toolbar. (http://www.toolbar.google.com/)

[Matt A]

Okay, this is pretty cool. Raven's past is an enigma at best, so more information on it is always welcome. Oh, and congrats on managing to strech three chapters and a prologue to eight pages! That's gotta be a record!

Anyway, good luck with the next chapter. Hope it gets done this time!

[Raven37]

Okay, IT'S FINALLY DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I finally finished it! As T.T.Raven4 would say: WOOT!:D I know it's not a lot, and I feel sort of guilty because I had a lot of time over Winter break to type it, but didn't use that time... Also I'm a very slow typer... Anyways, like I said earlier, I know it's not a lot, but here it is anyways!:


Chapter 3 continued:


Renein dropped to the cold hard floor of Raven’s room. He sat there in pure disbelief.
“No…” he whispered to himself, “Raven…” She was gone. But she couldn’t be gone. He just couldn’t believe it. He refused to. But, there he kneel, with no indication of her whereabouts.

Renein shut his eyes tightly trying to hold back all the tears he longed to release because he knew he had to keep his emotions under control.

He slowly opened his eyes restraining his tears as much as possible. He would have succeeded, but one lone tear streamed down the side of his cheek causing a burning sensation deep down inside his soul. Renein gave a deep sigh and gave into his desire. Several tears rained down from his eyes almost burning a hole through his heart.

When Arella heard the scream of Raven and the yell of Renein, she arruptedly headed for the source of them. She hurried up the old staircase leading to her destination. With every step she took, the wood that made up the stairs gave a retched creak. She was used to this, for they lived in an old dwelling.

When she took her final step up, the floor gave one more moan as she practically sprinted down the hallway. She approached the doorway of Raven’s room to see a person crying on the floor. She gently stepped forward putting a comforting hand on the person’s shoulder.

He quickly spun around, surprised to see Arella.

“Oh, I am sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you,” she said apologetically.

“Oh, I’m fine,” Renein said softly in a saddened tone.

Arella frowned, “You do not look fine. Is there something wrong?” Arella asked with a kind look on her face. Renein slowly looked down to the paneled floor.

“Raven…” he mumbled.

“Excuse me?” she asked not hearing what he had said.

“Raven,” he said a little louder, “ she’s… she’s… she’s-” Arella looked about the room, unable to locate her daughter.

“Gone!” Arella shrieked in distress. “But where has she gone?” she questioned, her tone of voice getting louder.

“I… I’m… not sure,” Renein replied sadly closing his eyes, frowning.

“What do you mean? She was just here with you, wasn’t she?” Arella cried. Renein gave a small nod.

“Then how did she get out? Which way did she go? It’s not like she just disappeared through thin air!” she said fuming with anger.

“Well, actually… she sort of… did,” he replied, hoping he wouldn’t be yelled at anymore.

“B-…bu-…but… how?” She said confused as her tone of voice became more calm. Renein looked up to her, “Dark magic.” he told her, “very strong dark magic. The magic used by extremely powerful wizards.”

Tears swelled up in Arella’s eyes. “Will Raven be okay?” she choked.

“I… I…hope so,” he replied restraining even more tears. Arella began to sob.

“Oh, you must find her!” she pleaded. Renein gazed out the single window in the room into the dark and lonely night. It described his mood: dark and lonely. He looked back down to the faded wooden floor in deep thought.

As he was thinking, the breaking of several light bulbs could be heard from Arella’s lack of control of her powers. Suddenly, he heard the lone window shatter loudly. He looked over to the hundreds of glass pieces scattered all over the floor. He closed his eyes once more debating over what he should do.

After a few minutes, Renein’s face became more stern and looked up to the weeping Arella. She was trying her best to stop her emotions from destroying the whole house, bet she couldn’t stop crying. Renein stood up looking Arella directly in the eyes. She stopped crying, but gave an occasional snifle evrey few seconds.

“Don’t worry,” Renein assured her, “I will find Raven. I won’t let anything happen to her,” He walked up to her and took her hand in his.

“I promise,”

Arella gave a wide smile and wrapped her arms around him.

“Thank you,” she whispered as she slowly pulled away, “ I wish you the best of luck.” Renein nodded.

“I think I better be going,” he stated.

“Oh, right. Yes…” Arella replied leading him out of Raven’s room and down the old staircase.

They walked to the front door of the dwelling. Arella swiftly grabbed the knob and opened the door for Renein. Renein stepped out and started walking away from the house. He stopped for a moment and turned around, facing Arella. He waved goodbye, as so did Arella.

Neither of them spoke another word, for there was nothing left to be said.
_____________________________

I have more written in my notebook (about another half a chapter. Probably as long as this), but I only have about 5 more minutes on the computer before my parents will kick me off of it, so I won't get it typed tonight. I'll try and type and post it as soon as I can.;)

-Raven37

[nevermore]

It is wonderful. A piece of art. I can't wait for more.

[Matt A]

Join the club!

[Raven13]

Have not replyed for your story in a while. Well this was a great chapter!!!!:D

I like it alot ......'Nuff said.:anime:

~ ~ Raven13 ~ ~

[Pookey]

wow, that was awesome! you are a really great author.

[Aquagirl15]

*gives Rae37 an irritated look* FINALLY! JK!! like i told you when i saw it earlier AWESOME!! or was it great? i can't remember.:shrug: well either way it was really good!!! post soon or death awaits you with big, sharp, pointy teeth!!! GRRR, HISS, GARRRR!!!! :evil: yes i am very crazy! :D

[Kregor8]

Hmm. Hmm. *looks over chapter again*
Yep, yep. Exactly what I thought it was. Attention people. I have found a really good story! Oh wait. You already knew that. Well, it never hurts to say it again.

One of the things I liked in this chapter was how you adjusted the weather to fit the emotions of the characters. There's not much here besides some sorrowful dialog, but it's relatively importaint because it starts Renein out on his quest.
It's a good story - but it isn't perfect. You have a few typos - those really bug me, because I'm obsessive about it. And how did Renein instantly reconize "dark magic, extremely powerful dark magic?" Still, a nice chapter. I like how you've characterized Arella as a carring mother. Does everyone in whereeveritis (bad memory, sometimes) have emotion controlled powers, or just Raven's circle of aquantinces?
Looking foward to chapter four. My offer of assistance stands, if you ever wish to consult.

7<regor
Ps. One more question. If you have your story on your laptop, why do you need to type it out again?

[ShadowOfAGhost]

Looking foward to chapter four. My offer of assistance stands, if you ever wish to consult.

7<regor
Ps. One more question. If you have your story on your laptop, why do you need to type it out again?Notebook (see also: journal) - A primitive peice of technology which uses paper and metal rings to hold said paper together. It requieres the use of other forms of primitive technology known as writing utensils. These can be either pens (which use ink) or pencils (which use graphite and an eraser).
:p

I also offer you my assistance in any form. In fact I have to suggestions for you now.

1. Re-read your first chapter and your most recent chapter. this will show you just how much you have improved and will give a serious boost to your confidince and self-esteem. Trust me, you have improved by leaps and bounds!

2. Do you write out the entire chapter in your notebook or do you write an outline? By writing out an outline you save time and leave yourself more leeway to change things as you type. Personaly I write an overall outline of all the critical events of a story before I start the story and then for each chapter I write more detailed outlines for the individual chapter before I start the respective chapter.

I'm not saying that you have to take either of these suggestions, but you may want to try them. And by the way, I would say that by the time you finish a few more chapters you could easily be one of the better writers on this forum. No Joke! It goes without saying that this was your best chapter yet.:knd1:

[Crowgirl]

It goes without saying that this was your best chapter yet.:knd1:
'Nuff said.

Crowgirl

[ShadowOfAGhost]

'Nuff said.

CrowgirlAlways an honor to be quoted, even when the quoter then goes on to respond to it with 1 and a half words and their name.:p

[ShadowOfAGhost]

You say you havn't abandoned this story, but honestly, when was the last chapter posted? I understand you've been working on your song thread and what not, but this is exactly why I try to make a habbit of not having more than one open story at a time. Oh well.

[Kregor8]

Patience Robin. She told me she'd have the new chapter out today. So she must have run into a few more problems. But today's not over.

7<regor

[Raven37]

Did I say today? I meant tomorrow!:sweat: I got half of it typed, but before I knew it, it was already time for me to go to Aquagirl's house.:sweat: I know I only post about once a week, but please be patient with me!:sweat: I know my story's kinda at a boring part right now (Kinda boring for me to write and boring for you to read) but I have much action and excitement to come!:D


-Raven37

[ShadowOfAGhost]

My names not Robin...It's (should I give it away? Bah, to hell with it!) Andrew.

Either way, can't wait for the next chapter! until then, :).

Shadow \ Andrew

[rrarbecy]

My names not Robin...It's (should I give it away? Bah, to hell with it!) Andrew.

Either way, can't wait for the next chapter! until then, :).

Shadow \ Andrew


What's wrong with us knowing your first name? Some people know my full name.

[Raven37]

What's wrong with us knowing your first name? Some people know my full name.
Dan/DJ Allen.:D I just had to do that... anyways, I will get my next chapter up ASAP!:anime:

-Raven37

[Crowgirl]

I too, would like to see the next chapter.


What's wrong with us knowing your first name? Some people know my full name.
Well, if you guys want to know my first name, you're going to have to guess.* Have fun!

CG

*And since some people already know it, I forbid them to tell. If they do, they can take nevermore's place.

[nevermore]

Please!!! Tell me!!! I need to be free of the haunting chopsticks that Crowgirl has!!! :eek:

A few people know my name here, but I made them guess. :evil: It is fun to watch their futile attempts!!! :evil:

*chopstick flies past Nevermore's head* Uh, gotta go!!! Don't forget to post more Rae37!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!! *Nevermore runs for his life as more chopsticks fly at him*

P.S. I know that you wouldn't miss, Crowgirl.

[Crowgirl]

I see you're getting the point of William Tell's story....

[Raven37]

I lied.... again. But not on purpose! My mom made me go to bed early because we were supposedly going to church this morning, but we didn't! I knew we wouldn't.... I was also very socially active last night. I was PMing & IMing a whole bunch of people. I was also talking on the phone. That's why I didn't get much done last night.:sweat: But now, because I forced my self to, I FINISHED TYPING THE 1ST PART OF CHAPTER 4! WOOT! And now, I give it to you for your enjoyment. So, well... uh, ENJOY!:D :


Chapter 4:

Renein tiredly walked down a small path. He felt so many emotions crammed up inside of him. Sadness, confusion, anger, frustration, worry. But apart from all of those, he felt determination. He was going to find Raven. She was his best friend, aside from Spheira. She was like a part of him. Without her, he would never be whole again. He needed to find her.

Fresh tears formed in his eyes, but he wouldn’t let them fall. He had already given into his emotions and cried enough. He had to stay focused. He wouldn’t let anything distract him, especially tears.

He continued to drag himself along. He needed to tell Spheira of the unfortunate news. As he was thinking about it, he stopped dead in his tracks. If he told her, she’d probably want to search for Raven too. If the person behind this was the person they thought was, he couldn’t allow her to go. He had to make sure she would stay here and out of harm’s way.

Renein’s slow pace turned into a run. He had to get to Spheira as soon as possible. As he ran, he felt a drop of liquid fall on to his cheek. He stopped for a moment to look up into the dark sky. There were many massive black clouds. He felt another drop, then another. Many other drops began to splash down on his sweaty face. They felt quite refreshing, for he had been hurrying to get to his destination. Renein suddenly realized he was wasting time, so ignored the rain and began his pace again.

About 5 minutes later, the rain was pouring down very hard. It was blurring Renein’s vision, but nonetheless, he hastily put his hood up and kept running.

After what felt like an eternity, he finally could rest, for he had arrived at his destination. He looked up towards a small dwelling of which belonged to Spheira and her mother. [ To readers: (Why not her father you ask? For you will find out later on!)] He hurredly sped to the door and knocked loudly. No answer.

“Spheira, please!” he begged, “It’s Renein!” Still no answer. She either didn’t hear him, or wasn’t home. Now’s not the time to be away from home, Spheira. Renein thought to himself. He decided to just let himself in.

He cautiously opened the door and walked in. The door gave a loud moan as he shut it behind him. There were no lights on and the house seemed to give off an eerie presence, making it quite unwelcoming. Renein knew that if Spheira was home, she obviously wouldn’t still be meditating outside because of the rain. He figured she would be in her bedroom.

He timidly made his way to and up the staircase that led to her room. These stairs weren’t as old as the ones in Raven’s house, so most of them didn’t creak.

When he had reached the top, he slowly walked to the room belonging to Spheira. The door was slightly open, just enough for Renein to see there was a small light radiating on a side of her room. Maybe she’s home. He pondered to himself. If not, then I’ll have another person that I’ll have to find.

“Spheira?” he asked to see if she was here. There was no answer, so he pushed open the door. The light he had seen was coming from a little candle on her dresser. Unfortunately, there was no other one in the room except himself. He let out a sigh and looked for anything to help him figure out Spheira’s location. He looked over to the candle and spotted a piece of paper by it. He walked up to the dresser and took it in his hands. He began to read it.

Dear Renein,

Raven is missing. I am sure you are already aware of that, but I just wanted to leave you this note so you know I’m alright. I didn’t wait for you to come back from Arella’s because I knew you would protest against me helping you find her. Don’t worry though, I’ll be fine. I know what I’m doing and as you would say, ‘I won’t get myself killed’. I promise.

Sincerely,
Spheira


Renein reread the note carefully, then just let it drop out of his hands to the floor. He leaned against a wall.
‘Oh Spheira, why must you be so stubborn?” he asked mostly to himself. He looked to the floor at the note. He shut his eyes for a moment and sighed. He reopened his eyes and moved his gaze to a window.

“I’ll believe you,” he said as he stared into the stormy night, “But please, just be careful.”

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Raven, wide-eyed, slowly made her way away from the small beasts. She kept her gaze fixed on them as she tried standing up. She cautiously did so and took a few small steps backwards. As she was taking her last step, she tripped over a large rock in the grass.

She roughly fell to the ground landing in a very uncomfortable position on her arm. She had fallen onto another rock, slashing her arm. She yelped with pain as she struggled to get a look at her cut. What she saw made her queasy. There was a large gash on the lower part of her arm, and there was crimson blood pouring from it. It hurt like heck. She bit her lip as many tears streamed down her cheeks. Pain pierced her arm as she held it close to her.

Sweat lined the back of her neck from nervousness. She was so scared of what the ravens’ next action would be. They seemed to have a pleased look on their face, taunting her for her now injured arm. They were just watching her suffer, waiting for the precise time to strike. She figured her only hope was to try and escape from them.

She took a deep breath as she stood up for the second time, avoiding anything she could trip over. Once she was standing up straight, she waited for any reaction from the ravens. None of made a move, but continued to stare at her. She was getting blood from her arm all over her outfit, but she didn’t care. All she wanted was to get away from the ravens.

She was scared to know what they would do if she turned her back to them. She took a few steps away from them, but still watched them carefully. The ravens continued to stare at her, only moving to blink.

Raven just stood there for awhile, not really wanting to move. She was becoming more uncomfortable by the minute. All she wanted to do was escape, but it seemed she would never be able to. So many unanswered questions flooded her mind. Why were these birds harassing her? Why did they have the eyes of her horrid father? Was she going to survive this incident? To top it off, she also had no clue where she was.

Raven wondered if she dare turn around and run. She wasn’t sure if the birds would follow and attack her, or if they would stay. Maybe, if I’m lucky, they will stay… She wondered Fat chance… She new they would chase her if she ran from them and she couldn’t defeat all of them by herself. Surely they would win, but she had to get out of here. She was getting nowhere just standing around. She would have to try and escape.

Raven closed her eyes and gave a deep sigh. She reopened them and timidly turned her back to the ravens. She looked over her shoulder at them. They now had their beaks open revealing long, sharp teeth. Some were flapping their wings for the expected flight.

Raven braced herself as she bravely pushed her legs forward into a run.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*


MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Cliffhanger!!!:evil: Is that a good cliffhanger, or is that a good cliffhanger? MUAHAHAHAHAHA!:evil:

Anyways, I hope you liked it!:D

-Raven37

P.S. The fonts to choose from suck. I was gonna do a really cool font for Spheira's handwritting, but I couldn't.:shrug: Oh, well.:sweat:

[Aquagirl15]

oOoOoOoO melikes. i don't like the cliffhanger bad, bad, bad!!!! :crying: anyway it was a really detailed chapter that seemed well thought out. i really think you're getting good at this, not that you wern't good before. :sweat:

[Raven13]

haha it's a good cliffhanger!!!! grrrrrrrr....... I hate cliffhangers!!!!!:mad: :crying: haha, andyway I liked this chapter alot!!!! I liked it how you decribed where Raven was and I want to know what happens!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! O please don't make me wait long. Hey you know what I think you ahve broken a record!! 4 chapter in like 5 pages, I think? Anyway WONDERFUL JOB...... continue writting!!:D :anime: :)

~ ~ Raven13 ~ ~

[Pookey]

AH! EVIL, you are evil!!! HOW COULD YOU STOP AN AWESOME CH LIKE THAT!! I hope your happy!*falls over dead*

[Crowgirl]

That was fantastic. Action and emotion are described so well, I can't describe it. I have no critisms.

Actually, I lied.

CLIFFHANGERS!!!

CG

P.S. If you need cooler fonts and that stuff, you can download fonts from World's Finest, and Matisse isn't bad for writing.

[ShadowOfAGhost]

A good chapter which was worth the wait. The clifhanger isn't the worst I've seen, but it's a pretty good one. Keep up the good work! You improve with every chapter you write!

[T.T.Raven4]

Nicely done! I liked it a lot. Cliffhanger will go die...Very good Raven37!

[Raven37]

Thank you all!:anime: I will be working on writing my next chapter as soon as possible. I can not work on it tomorrow, because i have to research and take notes on the Watergate Scandal. Stupid homework... but I will work on it as much as possible. Anyways, I thanketh all of thou and appreciate your feedback!:D

-Raven37

[Crowgirl]

No problem. A great fic deserves great praise.

[Matt A]

Exactly!

I think that you can gues what I'm going to say, but I'll say it anyway. Good description, good! Bad cliffhanger, bad!

Anyway, that's all from me. Get the second part of the chapter up as soon as you can.


Matt

PS: Just for the record, I'm not going to post the epilogue to Dwyr Budr (my fic) until Raven37 posts comments on all the chapters she's missed so far (about four, I think..). All you DB fans out there had better start badgering her...
PPS: Sorry for the shameless plug!:sweat:

[Raven37]

PS: Just for the record, I'm not going to post the epilogue to Dwyr Budr (my fic) until Raven37 posts comments on all the chapters she's missed so far (about four, I think..). All you DB fans out there had better start badgering her...
PPS: Sorry for the shameless plug!:sweat::eek:. I... I... I will read it as soon as possible! *turns to DB fans* JUST DON'T HURT ME!!!:eek: But seriously, it is probably the first thing on my to-do list. I've just been really behind on everything lately.:sweat: But I am in a way honored you would hold up your fan fic just for the sake of me.:) But that doesn't change the fact I'm scared for my life.:sweat: Oh, BTW, thanks for the feedback Matt.:D

-Raven37

[rrarbecy]

:eek:. I... I... I will read it as soon as possible! *turns to DB fans* JUST DON'T HURT ME!!!:eek: But seriously, it is probably the first thing on my to-do list. I've just been really behind on everything lately.:sweat: But I am in a way honored you would hold up your fan fic just for the sake of me.:) But that doesn't change the fact I'm scared for my life.:sweat: Oh, BTW, thanks for the feedback Matt.:D

-Raven37
Don't worry. I still love you (please don't misconstrue that).

[Matt A]

:eek:. I... I... I will read it as soon as possible! *turns to DB fans* JUST DON'T HURT ME!!!:eek: But seriously, it is probably the first thing on my to-do list. I've just been really behind on everything lately.:sweat: But I am in a way honored you would hold up your fan fic just for the sake of me.:) But that doesn't change the fact I'm scared for my life.:sweat:

-Raven37You made me a promise, and I expect promises to be kept.:evil:

Besides, you're far enough behind in your reading as it is, without adding yet another chapter to the list...:evil: :evil: :evil:


Matt

PS: I'm not angry with you. I'm just messing.

[Raven37]

You made me a promise, and I expect promises to be kept.:evil:

Besides, you're far enough behind in your reading as it is, without adding yet another chapter to the list...:evil: :evil: :evil:


Matt

PS: I'm not angry with you. I'm just messing.I am sick today. Stupid sickness.:sad: But that does mean I get time to catch up with multiple stories!:D My list of stories to catch up on:
1. Dwyr Budr (Welshie's Mate)
2. Sisters in Fire (T.T.Raven4)
3. Shattered Dreams (Shadow)
4. Slipped Pieces (Pookey)
5. Perfect Vision (Kregor8)
6. Winds of Fate: The X Factor (DS, but like I'll be able to catch up totally on his... it's so long!:eek: But I do like long. Long is good!:anime: )
7.Spurned Past, Tentative Future (Shadow)

*Note: These are in no particular order except Dwyr Budr, for that one, I fear for my life for. And want to catch up on really, really, really, badly.:sweat:
**Note again. If your story is not listed here, I am either up-to-date with it, or have simply miscalculated. If I have miscalculated, please let me know and I will read it. Have a nice Tuesday!:D (Well, as good as Tuesdays can get...)

-Raven37

P.S. Yea, I know. I'm just messin too. But This is a real list and I really, really, really want to catch up to your fic.:D

[ShadowOfAGhost]

Just so you know, I finished S.P.T.F. I want to say more, but I just can't. I would give away too much!:D

(shameless plug)

[Raven37]

Well, basically it's the end of the day for me and the only fic I've accomplished reading was Dwyr Budr.:sweat: (BUT IT WAS ONE OF THE GREATEST STORIES EVER!!!!!!!!:D ) I had to take a whole bunch of notes on the Watergate Scandal, which took up a bunch of my time. I didn't even get that much done!:shrug: I only got like 3 pages of notes!:sad: *Sigh* Well at least I know my life is no longer threatened by DB fans.... :sweat: Anyways, just to let ya know, in my spare time I will be trying to get my next half-a-chapter written and maybe more. I can't promise a new chapter out this weekend because I have to take the SAT for this talent search thing and blah blah blah... I will get it out as soon as possible though!:D

-Raven37

[Rae]

Hey there!

Upon reading this fic i noticed two things

1) i should have read this sooner, it's really good

2) i started reading this a while ago when only the first chapter was up but for some reason i never posted, go figure!

Rae

[Pookey]

hope you fell better!! being sick is the worst!!
i was mentioned in the list!!:eek: im amazed!!
good luck with everything!!!

[Kregor8]

What, another chapter and no Kregor review? I must still be off my game. Ok.
Nice little mystery here.
I think the birdy scene was better than the last one, though you could have used a few more descriptive terms. Still, Raven's reaction was well displayed. Then the teeth, and the chase, and the blood! But not in that order. Woo! This is getting exciting.
I love cliffhangers. :D They bring me back for the next chapter. So everyone else can go stick it with logic somewhere.

7<regor
Ps. If nobody gets the "Stick it with logic" thing, you have to read more stories on this forum. Specifically, "Slade's New Apprentice." I only dare mention it because I don't want to be rude...

[Beastgirl17]

YAY! I caught up! I'm sooo proud of myself! *ahem* anyway, love the story, it...is...awsome!(I don't care if I already told you at school)anyway, post a new chapter soon, pleeeaaase? I know your not sick anymore, so, finish the Watergate article, and then, post more chapters!pleeeaaase?

[Raven37]

Fisrt off, thank you Katie for catching up.:anime: Second, I promise I AM NOT, I repeat, AM NOT abandonning this story. I know I havn't posted in FOREVER, but I am still working on it. I've been really busy lately with WAY more homework than usual. Just ask Beastgirl17 or Ephidel500. They have to do the same really BIG project.:sad: Once this project is done, I'm probably gonna be with the program and be able to post a chapter a week or more.;) I just beg of you, please don't give up on me.:( If I knew I would've gotten this project, I would've waited to start my fic at a better time where I would be able to put mor etime into it than I am now. I WILL finish this fic and I WILL make it the greatest story I have ever written. I have spoken.

-Raven37

P.S. I would like to give a warm welcome to my friend Blufire1213. I dunno if she's posted anywhere yet, but she just joined. So, welcome!:D

[Aquagirl15]

Yeah I know you had a lot of HW. And I know that you know that if you didn't finish this fic that I would have to hurt you. ;) So yeah... WELCOME BLUFIRE!!! :D

[Crowgirl]

Welcome to High Socteity Bluefire, we welcome you with gracious arms into the AU.

What is the AU you ask? I have no idea. :sweat:

[Matt A]

Welome to Bluefire!:D

[nevermore]

Yes, I welcome you also, Blufire. Now all we need is your initiation. Where's that rubber chicken?

Don't worry, we can wait for the next chapter. We have stuff to pass the time with.

P.S. There is no e in Blufire.

[Aquagirl15]

Yeah I got on to you for that when I first told you about her didn't I Nevermore? :p You learn so fast! Anyway post soon or I will do something dreadfully evil... :evil:

[Beastgirl17]

yes, I have sent her a PM already, so now all we have to do is persuade her at school to post... gee, that'll be fun (JK Blufire!)

[Pookey]

welcome welcome welcome welcome!!!!
*waves like insane moron*


guess what!? I love this fic!

[Beastgirl17]

me too! although, I've been gone for like, 2 months and you STILL haven't added any more chapters.:mad:grrrr... we will have to have a chat come school tomorrow. btw, I'm still trying to clean out my PM box from the twelve PMs you sent me

[Raven37]

I'm really sorry, but I won't be on for another while (this is the first time that I've been on in weeks) My computer has a virus and we have to get it repaired. When it's fixed, I'll be sure to let you know!;)


-Raven37

[Matt A]

Either way, at least it's good to hear from you again.:anime: :anime: :anime: :anime: :anime:


Ta,
Matt A

[Raven13]

I was wondering why you were not on for a while! Well it is nice to here from you! hey have you heard about that AOL virus! If you get it while your on AOL it will give it to everyone on your buddylist who is on at that time. Then it will go through your email and send everyone the virus! That is why I have not been on AOL for a while!:D Just thought I would let you know!:anime:

P.S. PLEASE WRITE MORE OF YOUR STORY SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~ ~ Raven13 ~ ~

[Crowgirl]

'Tis good to know you're alive, and that's always enough. :p :anime:

[Matt A]

I was wondering why you were not on for a while! Well it is nice to here from you! hey have you heard about that AOL virus! If you get it while your on AOL it will give it to everyone on your buddylist who is on at that time. Then it will go through your email and send everyone the virus! That is why I have not been on AOL for a while!:D Just thought I would let you know!:anime:

Oh balls...:sweat: :sweat: :sweat: :sweat: :sweat:

[Aquagirl15]

That doesn't sound too good. :ack: Take your computer to the doctor Jenna it need some medication. I feel your pain though. :(

[Raven37]

I was wondering why you were not on for a while! Well it is nice to here from you! hey have you heard about that AOL virus! If you get it while your on AOL it will give it to everyone on your buddylist who is on at that time. Then it will go through your email and send everyone the virus! That is why I have not been on AOL for a while!:D Just thought I would let you know!:anime:

P.S. PLEASE WRITE MORE OF YOUR STORY SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~ ~ Raven13 ~ ~Don't worry, I'm pretty sure it's not that virus.:sweat: I might be able to get on school day mornings on my Dad's computer because my parents aren't home, so you might be hearing from me every once in awhile.;)

-Raven37

P.S. TTR4, I LOVE YOU AVATAR SOOOO MUCH! MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE IS LIKE MY FAVORITE BAND EVER!!!:D ME NEED THEIR CD SOOO BADLY!!!:eek: :crying: :evil:

[ShadowOfAGhost]

I just saw on CNN that there is a new show on broad way! :D They are turning Monty Python and the Holy Grail into a Broadway show! :D They are calling it Monty Python's Spamalot! :D

[RavenofAzerath~]

nice story, cept, i've actually read and memorized ALL of Ravens past, so dont ask me or do anything to ask me a question about "is this right?" cause i'll go completely nutzo and spill everything when i do and i'm already restraining myself enough:ack: :ack: :ack: :ack: :ack: :ack: :ack: :ack: WRITE MORE!!

[ShadowOfAGhost]

Why not start your own story and show off all the research you have done by incorperating it in?

[Anime]

i agree