Tormented: A Poem From Nevermore.

[nevermore]

Since it is late it was easy to think of this. It is based on my character, and may be used in my fanfic, The Shadow, that's if you think I should. Enjoy if it is enjoyable.

The lights are out, darkness is around me.
And in this darkness, I know I am alive.
I live in the shadows, for the shadows.
It was in this darkness, that I learned to strive.
Strive to hold to what I believe in.
Strive to hold what I hold dear.
Strive to listen for the day.
The day when hope reaches my ear.
Listen for the hope,
Listen for less hate.
Listen so intently,
As I silently wait.
I wait for my wounds to heal,
the wounds that are so sore.
The wounds of a tormented soul,
That should be seen, nevermore.

[nevermore]

So what did you think? Post honestly. PLEASE JUST POST.

[Aquagirl15]

yay! i'm the first to post on this! really really good nevermore. it decribes your character so well. that is how i thought he felt. tell more about raven knowing nevermore. maybe you can lead this into a relationship. :shrug: just a thought..

[Sproxie]

it's good, just a little, *cough* creepy... -ish.
(mainly the title, Tormented) :shrug:
but if you havent yet, take a look at my user title.

[nevermore]

(with an increadibly creepy tone) Of course it's creepy, creepy is my friend.

(with normal tone) Hahahahaha. Me try to write about Nevermore and Raven in a relationship? Ha ha ha ha. I'm not one for writing romances in case you didn't know.

[nevermore]

I just wrote another chapter for my fanfic (The Shadow) and this poem will make some more sense if you read that first.

P.S. I still want to know if I should use this in my fanfic.

[Aquagirl15]

sorry, i didn't know! :o just a thought like i said. *tear,cry,sob*:crying: look at that you made me cry! JK! not too many people are good at writing romances.


(but you are still hurtful) :D

[nevermore]

I'm good at it aren't I.:evil:

[Kregor8]

This is pretty good. It takes quite a bit of concentration to write good poetry. Most of mine is all whacked out, so I like this.
Did most people feel it was really dark and creepy? Huh? Cause I didn't. It's not really a negative poem, which is good. If it's a description of Nevermore, it works nicely - I don't know if you would put in in the fic itself. It'd be hard to fit it in and not seem forced, if you know what I mean. All by itself, though, 7 stars. That's pretty good, because the best thing I ever wrote is the Haiku I use in my sig. I only give that 5 stars (which means people can read it, but I'm not to thrilled with it myself). The only thing I didn't like about this is the line
"Strive to hold what I hold dear"
You always use the same words to close to eachother. I know you were matching the first hold with the rest (I do that all the time when I write) but it just doesn't seem right.

Still, good poety is hard to write, and this is an example of good poetry. Congradulations.

[Aquagirl15]

YES!!! you are good at that! :crying: and it's not somethig to be proud of! what? do you get your fun by making little kids cry or something?

[nevermore]

NO!!!! I hate it when I make little kids cry, it always bugs me and I feel really guilty.:sad: I'm not all evil you know.:evil: Hey guess what, I'm posting another poem tomorrow!!!:D Again it will be....different. I wrote it in school a while ago. I think that it's strange, but when I was writing it, I actually felt like I was my character and it was all wierd and stuff and I actually felt what he would feel if he wrote it. (woah! I am strange......cool.) Don't make fun of me because I'm different!!!!

[Raven37]

Oh, jessie! your not that little.:rolleyes: Well.......maybe.....JK!:p Oh, and I really liked your poem. It totally describes Nevermore well. Try witing some more!:anime:

P.S. Nevermore....different is good!;) We're all different in our own special ways!:anime:

[oneeyemonkeypie]

This is pretty good. It takes quite a bit of concentration to write good poetry. Most of mine is all whacked out, so I like this.
Did most people feel it was really dark and creepy? Huh? Cause I didn't. It's not really a negative poem, which is good. If it's a description of Nevermore, it works nicely - I don't know if you would put in in the fic itself. It'd be hard to fit it in and not seem forced, if you know what I mean. All by itself, though, 7 stars. That's pretty good, because the best thing I ever wrote is the Haiku I use in my sig. I only give that 5 stars (which means people can read it, but I'm not to thrilled with it myself). The only thing I didn't like about this is the line
"Strive to hold what I hold dear"
You always use the same words to close to eachother. I know you were matching the first hold with the rest (I do that all the time when I write) but it just doesn't seem right.

Still, good poety is hard to write, and this is an example of good poetry. Congradulations.
True, he needs to use a somewhat deeper reserve of synonyms, but this one actually sounded right.

"Strive to hold what I hold dear"

That sounds good. Sometimes you can use that as a legitimate writing technique, and I think he did (albiet on accident) :sweat:

Oh, I liked this.
4/5 stars
_****

[Kregor8]

Dude, if we weren't all a little whacked out, it would be pointless to even have a forum like this one.

Long live World's Finest! Long live the difference! Long live creepyness, and the normallity to balance it out.
Actually, I'm interested in reading the new poem. It should be good...when we get way into our writing, either it comes out perfect, or we don't notice how bad it really is. Either way, it makes us feel perfect.

[nevermore]

I have no idea if the poem I'm going to post tomorrow is good or not. (That's what this forum is for) It was the first poem I have ever written.

[Aquagirl15]

i felt really bad when i hurt a little girl when i was pushing her on the swingset.:( and i'm not small! :mad: peorid! i hate it when people call me short!don't they think i know that!!! i'm not mad at you Raven37,it's just errr!you touched a nerve!

[Raven37]

Aquagirl-Don't i always?........remember...Jesse....greatskate...and Jarrod...5th grade......oh, you're gonna kill me for that!:shrug: RUN AWAY!!!!:eek: *sprints frantically away*

[Aquagirl15]

DIE!!!!!!!! YOU'D BETTER RUN BECAUSE WHEN I GET YOU ERRRR!!!!!! :evil: :mad: :evil: :mad:

[nevermore]

Hahahaha.:D You sure know how to have fun. (mom drinks some fruit punch and asks, "Why does this taste funny.") any way, here is my poem. (It may take a while for me to translate it. I wrote it in an alphabet I created.)

The Mind

What is there left to say? I've tried to talk,
But you didn't care.
You pretend to understand, but you don't.
How could you ignore my patient stare.
There's no one to talk to, no one there.
My life is full of sorrow.
My life is not easy. I hate the loneliness,
I always dread the morrow.
It always is a torture, it's filled with harsh insults.
So I hide in darkness.
Hiding myself from anger, hiding from hatred.
I also hide from sadness.
I endure every phisical pain, and mental pain.
My mind is strange.
It has been divided, from good to evil.
It will constantly change.
It will stay between, but it will stray to evil.
I wish I was banned,
Banned to darkness for my evil mind, and yet I wish
Wish that I could understand.


I don't think it's a good poem, but that's up to you.:shrug: Remember, this was the first poem I have ever written.

[nevermore]

I guess I was only good for one poem.....the first one on this page. (Y'know, Tormented. Man I suck at poems.) I'm guessing that this one was really wierd and confusing. (I think so....it's confusing for me!)

Please post what you think.

[Sproxie]

mom drinks some fruit punch and asks, "Why does this taste funny :eek: eww.

that poem was good!

[nevermore]

(Eyes moving from left to right as if looking for an excuse.) What? It's um....old.

[Kregor8]

It has come to my attention that I have used the phrase "whacked out" several times on this forum, particurally this thread. A friend of mine just told me that that basically means strung out on drugs - I have never meant to indicate this in any way. Now, my friend may be wrong, but I just want to be certain.

As for the second poem here, I like it better than the first, I think. It has more of that acid taste that I look for in dark poetry. Nice job. I'm not going to say much more, because I'm not really a poet.

[nevermore]

I wouldn't call myself a poet. These are the only two poems I have ever written. I just go with a theme and try my best to make them rhyme.

[Crowgirl]

I like to write poetry too.

But keep in mind,
not all poems have to rhyme.
If they do,
it's the extra bit of effort,
that you put into your poems,
That really makes it better?

See? Did that rhyme? But you can consider yourself a poet, because you wrote two awesome poems!! Congrats!

[Aquagirl15]

you may not be considered a poet but you do have a way with words. i like the second poem too.not as much as the first but everyone has their own opions. were you writing the second one for a certian Teen Titans character? or was that before you liked Teen Titans?

[nevermore]

It kinda is, but it will only make sense once I get to the certain part in my fanfic. (P.S. The raven in the story has a bit to do with it, but it's not about the raven.)

[nevermore]

I just posted the chapter that explains the second poem. Oh yeah, I'm trying to compose another one, It's probably not going to be for any character at all.

[nevermore]

sorry, triple post, I know. But I had to post this. I started this one for myself but then I realized that it was pretty good for Raven. Here you go.

Just Leave

Why can't you just leave me alone?
Can't you see I can't take it?
Just leave me the way I want to be,
Extinguish the lights that were lit.
Just leave me and go.
Please, let me be.
I wish that someone could just,
just understand me.
Peole don't want to understand me,
They just want to make their mark,
So they can be remembered.
But I just hide in the dark.
Everyone stays away from me,
They think I am creepy,
But I'm not creepy, just different.
I just wish that someone could understand me.

[Crowgirl]

LOVELY!!!

This one did rhyme, so that's an added bonus. I like how it was about Raven, or at least I think it was.

Was it?

[nevermore]

I started writing it last night because of how I felt, but then I realized how much it would describe Raven, so yeah it's for Raven.

[Aquagirl15]

i liked it!!!!!!!!!! i think it could describe all of us at one point. i sometimes feel that everybody should just go away and let me be.

[nevermore]

Try 24/7.:sad:

[Aquagirl15]

i pitty you nevermore i really do..... :sad:

[nevermore]

I've gratuated to the level of locking myself in my room, turning the lights off, and opening the window. I like the windows open because I like the cold. My parents won't leave me alone. (Can't a guy have his windows open. I don't care if you think it's cold.)

[nevermore]

Another poem. This time, about Robin. Enjoy.

Good and Evil

There are two kinds of people in this world,
There are people you love, and people you hate.
The evil people will harm you, and the ones you love,
You'll try to stop them, only to learn, it's too late.

Hatred will rise from deep within you,
You'll become the kind of people you despise.
Just to stop them, and when you realize what happened,
You'll stop, but another will soon rise.

Rise as what you had once become.
You'll see what you had once been,
And you'll hate yourself for it.
And you'll ask yourself, "When?"

When will it be over?
When will it end?
You are afraid of hurting the ones you love,
Afraid of hurting your friends.

There are two kinds of people in this world,
Good men, and evil men.
You ask yourself the question about evil people,
Are you one of them?

[raven54]

http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/w/wow.gif

i REALLY likes that one. don't know why, as usual:sweat:, but 'twas very good. do more!

[Aquagirl15]

woah!!! that was cool! i think that you are entirly right about everything in that poem. that is exactly how Robin is with Slade.

[nevermore]

Your wish is my command. What? I need the posts. Anyway, this one is for Terra.

Me

I feel all alone in this world,
I am always out of control
I can't help it, it just happens,
Don't you see the pains of my soul?

I needed help, and I got it.
but into evil, I was swayed.
It was too late when I realized,
It was my friends that I betrayed.

They came back to haunt me.
It wasn't me they could see.
I looked at myself and saw,
That this wasn't me

I stopped the evil that controlled me.
I finally gained control of myself
But I started an explosion,
That would destroy the city itself.

So I stopped the volcano,
I stopped it in its track.
But now I am rooted to this spot,
Until the day I am brought back.



I would have put pictures on this, but my computer is messed up. I'll edit it when I can get some pictures up on it.

[nevermore]

So what do you think? Is it a good poem for Terra? Please tell me! I need to know.:eek:

[Aquagirl15]

PERFECT!!! that is gr8 for Terra i loved it. how can you rhyme like that?!?!?! i suck at rhyming.

(3 pages thanks to me!!!!)

[Raven37]

Wow. That was really good. It totally describes Terra in a great way. Your rhyming is very good.:D

[nevermore]

I don't know how I get them to rhyme. I just do.:shrug: I guess that I just have a gift.:D (Does that make me the best poet on this forum?:confused: )

[Aquagirl15]

yes no
maybe so
many of us are not poets
or maybe some just don't show it
but soon one day
i might be able to say

Hehehehe i can rhyme! i just didn't know that.

[Crowgirl]

Rhyming is fun
Believe me, I know
I love to write poems,
Doesn't everyone though?
I loved your two recent poems,
Robin's and Terra's Rock!
I seriously think you should publish 'em,
And sell 'em to bookstores in stock!
Overall, I have one demand.
For this, I'm not going to use my voice,
'Cause all the words speak for themselves,
WRITE MORE OR DIE! (Your choice...)


Ta da!:D

[nevermore]

Okay I'll post. Here's one for Cyborg. (How'd I do it, I don't know.)

What


Who am I, what am I?
What did I gain?
The thing I remember most,
Is the pain.


I was once normal,
But it changed in a flash.
Driving down a road,
And suddenly a crash.


What did I gain?
What did I lose?
What could my life have been?
What kind of life did I choose?


I am not all human.
What am I anyway?
What did I gain, and what did I lose?
What was the price that I had to pay?

[Raven37]

I liked it. It wasn't as dark as your other poems...I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing:shrug: Anyway, it was good and it worked well for Cyborg.:anime:

[nevermore]

Well Cy isn't one of the darkest of characters, so it was hard. As long as it worked and was at least a little bit dark, and if you guys liked it, I'm proud of my work. I'm working on the next one, but I have no idea when it will be out.

[Aquagirl15]

i think it was good. why do we not know why Cyborg is half robot, WHY!?!?!?! :crying:

[nevermore]

Do you mean how he became half robot. I think that it's because of a car accident. I don't know. It is an educated guess. I might get a new poem up tomorrow. I hope.

[Crowgirl]

Me Like!!!

More!!!:evil:

[nevermore]

Please don't rush me.:crying: I'm trying something new, but I'm not anywhere near finished. I am going to PM it to the people that I trust most to see if they think it's good enough to post on here, once I finished them, that is.

Once again, I'll try to get the next one up as soon as possible.
-Nevermorehttp://fs5.deviantart.com/i/2004/319/5/e/Demon_Emote_by_Zikes.gif

[Aquagirl15]

like me? and yes i ment HOW he became half robot. and a car accident is a good guess if it was that extreame and he survived :shrug: me like being special friends w/ you !!!!

[Raven37]

I was in a car accident and I survived!!!!! (well, maybe it wasn't really like an accident 'cause the lady behind us just bumped my car when we where sitting in the parking lot at the mall, and it didn't leave a mark. :sweat: )Altho I could've gotten hurt if it weren't for my seat belt! Go seatbelt!!!!;) Anyway, take your time in writing your poems. And I'm his other special friend too, Aquagirl. He likes us the same. Don't hog all the glory!!!!!....jk.


-Raven37http://fs5.deviantart.com/i/2004/306/9/0/Cunyao_by_zau.gif

[nevermore]

Sorry, I am not going to be able to post here for a while because I am busy with the sequal to my other fanfic.

[nevermore]

I was PMing Aquagirl when I came up with this. She liked it, so I hope you like it too.

Titleless

I want to be separated from the world.
I want to be left alone.
I don't want to be with people,
I just want to stay at home

Just keep them away from me,
If they could understand, they would see,
That I just want to run and hide,
so everyone will let me be.

Hide in the darkenss,
Hide all alone.
It is a terrible life,
That I have been shown.

Leave me.
Go away.
Just let me be
let me live my way.

[Aquagirl15]

well you already know i like it but i'll tell you again. it was dark, like all your poems and very good. i wish my poems were half as good as yours are.

[nevermore]

Try writing some. You never know how good you are until you try. I never tried to write a poem until I signed up and I was good. You got to try and write a poem about what you know.

[Crowgirl]

That's really nice, dark, and somehow it's also sweet. I like it a lot.

[nevermore]

That's really nice, dark, and somehow it's also sweet. I like it a lot.

Uh, thanks. How did you get sweet out of that? I reread it just to see if I could find out how you got it.

[Crowgirl]

THe way it's written. It's written in as a sad story, but it's somewhat bittersweet, if you know what I mean.

[nevermore]

Oh, I get it. I am going to post another poem tomorrow. I'm sure of it this time.

[nevermore]

I told ya I would get it out today. :D

Enough?

You talk about me.
You say things behind my back.
You say that I'm not trying,
You say that I just slack.

You try to make me different,
You don't want me to be me.
You want me to be what you want.
Something that I can't be.

I try my best,
It's not good enough.
You think that I'm not trying,
But I can't to this stuff!

I am who I am.
Why do you want to change it?
I am what I am.
What I am is what you get.

You might not like it,
But you don't see.
Being me should be good enough.
It's good enough for me.

[Aquagirl15]

another one you showed me right? cool, this is how every teenager feels at one point. like "do my 'rents accept me for who i am?" so it really deals with real life stuff. anyway i liked it as usual and write more soon. but don't forget about your fanfic, we wanna see more of that too! :D

[Crowgirl]

That was really great. Aquagirl is right, everybody does feel like that at some point. I know I do, a lot.


One questin thoguh, who was it about?

[nevermore]

They aren't really for anyone. I was PMing Aquagirl, and I decided to reply with poems.

Don't worry, I am working on Piece of my Mind at school. I have some of it right in front of me.