Interacial Relationships....is that a crime?

[Solitude1]

No. At least I don't believe so...but its funny how many people do.

I know that holding a relationship whether its as friends or something more than that is hard. Especially if your a different ethnic. I'm black and at the same time I get sterotyped as being white sometimes. I don't mind I guess but, it sure comes with a price.

Most black people don't like me because the majority of my friends are white and I guess I give off the impression of being "stuck up" since I don't converse with much of my ethnic around here. Or maybe I'm not the thuggish type...*shrugs*

Most older white people don't like me just because they see the color of my skin which of course they spread this "knowledge" to their own kids and such. Gotta love the older generation. Seems I can't win on both sides.

I know a lot of people hate my kind. I know that a lot of them have stared right in my eyes, smiled, and then when they get home they tell their daughters and sons not to hang around me. I think its kinda sad that I realize this harsh reality nowadays.

But let me get to the point. One of my friends, who is also black and younger then me is trying to get with this girl who
1. has a boyfriend already
2. is white, and whose majority of the family is racist.
I can so relate to him. I went through the same drama a year ago. I've given him warning but he won't listen. I figure experience is a better teacher then words though...I can only pray for hope.

After being hurt several times over this sorta thing, I leave myself to believe one thing. In the next 20 or 30 years, I see ...no I know that most of the older generation that is ignorant in the masses will be dead or at least close to dying. I think acceptance of relationships regardless of colors and sex is increasing within each generation. It makes me happy to know that the older close minded generation will be dead by the time I'm old. Does that make me kind of sick?...I gues so. But I really don't care anymore...its the closest thing I have to hope.

But anyway, I'm done complaining. What are you guys thoughts on this subject. Don't hold back either. I'm interested in your responses no matter what ethnic, age, or sex.

[JohnCrichton]

I've run into a problem with being different ethnicities a grand total of once out of many and that was more the girl being stupid and unsure about relationships cuz we were still pretty young at the time.

I've never seen anyone have a problem with it really. That just seems so 1960's. I find it chuckle worthy that some can still get upset by this, cuz I find it about as controversial as a person dying their hair. :rolleyes:

Ah yeah, and your friend might want to seriously consider staying away from this girl because she already has a boyfriend... not cuz she's white. Love triangles can cause some serious damage... so I'm told. >_>

[Solitude1]

Yeah it is funny.....

...but then again I live in the South.....

...yeah.

[JohnCrichton]

Ah... then I guess that's different. I've only driven through the South. Never really stayed there... other than Florida and the occasional stop at a Waffle Hut. Those ladies behind the grill, I tell ya! Those lightening reflexes... it's like... they could see the future! http://www.japanhero.com/forums/html/emoticons/ninja.gif (javascript:emoticon(':ultimatepower'))

Anyway, best of luck, man. Being black ain't easy, as I've had my own trouble (at least back in High School) with having a virtually all white cast for my band of friends back in the day. Ugh.... dark times those days. Took a fantasy book and a certain character in it to show me the way and how one could just live and be fine being who they were instead of trying to adhere to stereotypes that just didn't fit.

You'd think by the friggin 21st century people would have caught onto this by now. :p

[Kevin the Geek]

I believe that it's wrong to judge a person by the color of their skin. A person should be judged by their personality, not by their skin color.

As for your friend, I don't think that he should try to go out with that girl due to the fact that most of her family is racist and that she already has a boyfriend.

[Frank White]

Alright, I'll play devils advocate,

Have you tried giving the sisters a chance?(Although more than likely the probably have given you a chance in the first place:rolleyes: )

[Solitude1]

Have you tried giving the sisters a chance?(Although more than likely the probably have given you a chance in the first place:rolleyes: )
*laughs*For some reason I just found that real funny. Honestly, most sisters just don't find a guy like me interesting. They want someone that KEEPS IT REAL, WHAT WHAT and all that crap.:rolleyes:

Their is this one girl that's cool with me. She likes me and all but honestly I just find her kind of boring. She's had no bf before and I don't feel like going through the basics...:p

[cross blues]

Most black people don't like me because the majority of my friends are white and I guess I give off the impression of being "stuck up" since I don't converse with much of my ethnic around here. Or maybe I'm not the thuggish type...*shrugs*thuggish type = stereotype... you make it sound like most of your ethnic group is the "thuggish type" and you're the outcast because you're not like that. is that what you meant to say or am I misreading?

anyway, you're not sick or twisted for thinking the way you do. my parents are racist, bigoted, and generally ignorant towards anything their parents didn't teach them. I suppose they can't be blamed entirely. Neither of them had the benefit of a college education or the exposure to many people of other races. We are more educated, and therefore less likely to be bigoted or believe in the stereotypes. so pretty much what I'm saying is... I feel the same way you do about older people.

and there's nothing you can do about your friend. he'll do what he wants. he has no reason to back off, unless the current boyfriend is a big guy.

no boyfriend before?? you should be ecstatic. you can do no wrong, since she has no other guys to compare you with.

[JohnCrichton]

*laughs*For some reason I just found that real funny. Honestly, most sisters just don't find a guy like me interesting. They want someone that KEEPS IT REAL, WHAT WHAT and all that crap.:rolleyes:
http://www.japanhero.com/forums/html/emoticons/lol.gif (javascript:emoticon(':lol'))

There's a Metallica lyric that best describes this and it goes something like, "SAD BUT TRUUUUUEE!!!!!"

Indeed, black women (especially when you're a teenager) find guys like Solitude1 and I weird and uninteresting. Ones that don't are few, far, inbetween and just my motherlovin' luck usually taken too. :sad:

[Jaguar]

=( I'm in the same boat as you two.

[Mynd Hed]

Literalist Man Says: A crime, by definition, is that which is illegal. Interracial relationships are perfectly legal in this country. Therefore, interracial relationships are not a crime.

Anal Retentive English Major Man Says: The word "ethnic," in noun form, is defined as "a member of a particular ethnic group, especially one who maintains the language or customs of the group." I believe the term you are searching for when you use the word is either "ethnic group" or "ethnicity."


But let me get to the point. One of my friends, who is also black and younger then me is trying to get with this girl who
1. has a boyfriend already
2. is white, and whose majority of the family is racist.
I can so relate to him. I went through the same drama a year ago. I've given him warning but he won't listen. I figure experience is a better teacher then words though...I can only pray for hope.
I know how much it sucks watching someone make the same mistakes you've made in the past-- you wish you could drill some sense into his head almost as much as you wish you could go back in time and drill some sense into your own back when you were making those mistakes. But usually you can't do either, so take my advice: tell him what happened to you and what you wish you'd done differently, and after that, leave well enough alone. It looks like you've got the right attitude about it already, though: sometimes only a burned finger will teach a fool that fire is hot.

After being hurt several times over this sorta thing, I leave myself to believe one thing. In the next 20 or 30 years, I see ...no I know that most of the older generation that is ignorant in the masses will be dead or at least close to dying. I think acceptance of relationships regardless of colors and sex is increasing within each generation. It makes me happy to know that the older close minded generation will be dead by the time I'm old. Does that make me kind of sick?...I gues so. But I really don't care anymore...its the closest thing I have to hope.
Nah, that's the way progress happens: the old bad ways are harder and harder to instill in the younger generation, and meanwhile there are fewer and fewer of the older generation around to instill them. If you can, try to be glad that there are fewer bigots around without actually wishing death on the bigots that are still here: hating those who are cruel to you may be perfectly justified, but it only ends up giving you ulcers at a young age in the long run.

Speaking of the South, I went on a trip there not too long ago and I noticed when we went to the grocery store that every cashier in the place was a white boy and every bagger was a black guy-- even when, as in the case of our line, the white guy didn't know what he was doing and the black bagger had to show him how to do his job. It seems like some folks down there (whoever was in charge of hiring at that store, for example) aren't making any special effort to correct the stereotype that Southerners are a bunch of racists, which is sad-- in most places nowadays, it seems like folks who are still bigots are at least smart enough to smell which way the wind is blowing and at least pretend to believe in equality.
Curiously, this can cause folks like me, who live in places where racism is less blatant and obvious, to underestimate what a big problem it still is to a lot of people. It's ironic that the very fact that the credo of tolerance has become so successful in so many places has led to some people failing to take it seriously.

As far as people of your own ethnicity not being attracted to you because you don't fit the "thuggish" stereotype of that ethnicity... well, people will always find a way to be incredibly stupid about relationships, and if it's not race, it's something else. It happens to white people, too-- when I was in high school, it seemed like every girl I was remotely interested in was either Hispanic or Mormon, and since I was a very white and very Catholic guy, they were polite enough but never let me get close.
It'll get better as you get older, to some extent at least, but ultimately the only real secret to finding someone is to be healthy and happy with yourself and keep looking until finally you're at the right place at the right time. It helps not to rule anybody out for poor reasons, so if you find a "sister" who likes you despite (or because of) the fact that you're not a "thug," great, and if it's a white girl who's right for you and is ready to try the interracial relationship thing, that's great too-- but don't focus your efforts on one to the exclusion of the other, because you're probably equally likely to encounter either one in this crazy world.

Well, that's one white guy's outlook on the issue, anyway, for whatever it's worth-- you'll probably get better advice from someone who's been through it and can relate a little more. (-:

[Nick K.]

No. One of my best friends is black. I have lots of black, spanish, asian, whatever friends. I liek to surround myself with different people to gain a better understanding of the world. Well, not really. My friends are just really cool. :p Anyway, race, religion, whatever shouldn't stop you from having a friend.

[Nimbleness]

Stereotypes can be good if you use them the way I do. I label myself under stereotypes all the time. Let's see...... Italian, Polish, Spanish, and German (though I've never mentioned that last one to anybody since I didn't even know until a few months ago); so you can see I already have like a page of jokes ready that I could crack about myself.

When I want to get rid of somebody , sometimes I say "Please, I'm reminiscing about the old country", I fumble with lightbulbs (purposely), and I pretend I can dance well. I even have a sign that says "Parking for Polish only".

I also brag my swarthy Latin charm. Italians and Spaniards are basicly Latin ,right?

You need to take your stereotypes and use them to strike fear into the hearts of your inferiors. Use them to your advantage!

[SSJPabs]

All my relationships have been interracial because I've mostly been around white girls. To me interracial dating is a natural thing and none of the families of the white girls I've dated have had a problem with it, or if they have, they've hidden it from me.

That said, unless this girl is with a guy who is a very bad boyfriend, then whatever trouble your friend gets into persuing a taken girl, he deserves.

(With of course the exception of death.)

Re Stereotypes: My current girlfriend is about as white as they come, but she's got the stereotypical "black girl" body type.

[Youko Recca]

Skin color, is an optical illusion many people fall victim to. When I get my books published I won't be worrying about what skin color the reader has, I don't care. I just want EVERYONE to enjoy them. Whether you're Caucasian, Black, Hispanic, Asian, Alien, Demon, I don't give a damn. If I want to win that girl's heart and she has an "opposing" skin color that will be the last thing holding me back from making that respective girl my love. It's really a shame that until this day, tommorow, and maybe the near future there will always be atleast one person who won't let go of a angst-ridden past their elder carried to their grave. In the long run skin color can be that depending factor...if your an idiot. Fight at school? You can be from all around the globe and I will still kick your ass, not because of skin color but because you forgot to guard your left. All boils down to that person/goup's opinion. Keep in mind opinions aren't fact, and the decision can be made by the only person in this life you control. Take chances, make mistakes, and get freakin' messy. :yawn:

[Tapout]

All my relationships have been interracial because I've mostly been around white girls.
Wait a sec... You're in Minnesota and you're not white? I didn't know that was possible. Hey guys, we've got either Prince or Kirby Pucket at TZ! :D

[SSJPabs]

Wait a sec... You're in Minnesota and you're not white? I didn't know that was possible. Hey guys, we've got either Prince or Kirby Pucket at TZ! :D*groan*Where were you when I used a picture of myself (http://img34.photobucket.com/albums/v102/SSJPabs/Picture_-13.jpg) as my avatar? :rolleyes: A word of caution, don't ask me to SING to prove I'm not Prince. It won't be pretty... However I AM a huge baseball fan and wouldn't mind being Kirby Puckett (http://sports.espn.go.com/mlbhist/alltime/playercard?playerId=11200&type=0), except for the glaucoma and sexual assault charges.

Actually the only family that's EVER had a problem with me dating their daughter was the family of the one Vietnamese girl I dated a few years back.
Edited: She was Vietnamese, not Korean as I had incorrectly remembered

[Fone Bone]

I'm not going to ask why this is still an issue today. I'm going to ask why this was an issue EVER?

People have a compulsive need to feel superior to other people. Years ago it was because of race (for a lot of people it still is) and nowadays it's because of sexual orientation. Why do a lot of people still feel the need to be better than certain groups of people?

Back in the day, you had Strom Thurman, Jesse Helms, and George Wallace tossing out the N-word like it was going out of style (am I misremembering Helms?) and saying how evil interacial relationships are. Years later it turns out Thurmon has a black daughter who came forward after he died so as not to be an embarrasment for him. Why couldn't she come forward 60 years ago when he was spouting his hate? I've noticed Republicans try to distance themselves from these three, but Thurman and Helms kept getting reelected into this century.

Who was that Senator who recently compared gay people to incest perpatrators and beastiality? Or was it a congressman?

Lot of hatas in this world. I personally don't find it wrong to look forward to them all dying off. Not because I hate them, just because it would be easier for everyone.:shrug:

[Solitude1]

thuggish type = stereotype... you make it sound like most of your ethnic group is the "thuggish type" and you're the outcast because you're not like that. is that what you meant to say or am I misreading?
Well honestly, thats how I feel about my ethnic... at least down here. I know their are guys just like me with the same interests and stuff but, its pretty rare for me to find some. Though I have been lucky enough to meet some new guys like me thanks to the DDR machine at my arcade.:D

no boyfriend before?? you should be ecstatic. you can do no wrong, since she has no other guys to compare you with.Huh? Nope no boyfriend for me yet either. Guys are just as hard to find...:sweat:

And as for this girl...well I know but....their's a lot of drama that could come out of this in the end....I don't really feel like going over this right now. I'll explain it in a later post or if you want just AIM me: SolitudeStarer

[Indeed, black women (especially when you're a teenager) find guys like Solitude1 and I weird and uninteresting. Ones that don't are few, far, inbetween and just my motherlovin' luck usually taken too./QUOTE]

You know what's funny John? I just recently turned 18 last month. Though I seem to have a lot of younger interests. :sweat: And damn if that isn't true...the ones that think we're hella cool or basically just another geek like them are taken....bah.

[QUOTE]You need to take your stereotypes and use them to strike fear into the hearts of your inferiors. Use them to your advantage!*laughs* Its funny u mention that. Maybe I'm not the only one that feels like this but, everytime I hang out or meet some new people around my age and such, some of them just seem to think, Wow, a black guy....COOL. and yes I got that line from Family Guy. :cool:

It is a lil easier to get noticed too..., so yes I do use it to my advantage when I can. :evil: Plus you won't believe how many sterotypical jokes I make with my friends.

Years later it turns out Thurmon has a black daughter who came forward after he died so as not to be an embarrasment for him. Oh man....that was so controversial down here. After Thurman kicked the bucket pretty much all his supporters...the majority were white, were sad and telling all this crap about how he helped SC. And then a few weeks later, we get to meet his black daughter....your telling me a man with that much credibility in this state couldn't mention he had a black daughter...even after the whole Civil Rights years and stuff. The man was a wimp, plain and simple. And I really hate to even be represented in the same state as him....I could go on with this but I'll stop here.

[JohnCrichton]

You know what's funny John? I just recently turned 18 last month. Though I seem to have a lot of younger interests. :sweat: And damn if that isn't true...the ones that think we're hella cool or basically just another geek like them are taken....bah.
Met this one girl at work. Beautiful girl she was and despite how I talked or carried myself.. even my interests, she only found me all the more endearing. Loved and laughed hard at my jokes and for one of the first few times I didn't feel I was being judged.

I asked her to a movie...... and then she asked if her boyfriend that she lived with could come along. Yeah.... didn't go too much further from there. :shrug:

[SSJPabs]

Met this one girl at work. Beautiful girl she was and despite how I talked or carried myself.. even my interests, she only found me all the more endearing. Loved and laughed hard at my jokes and for one of the first few times I didn't feel I was being judged.How DO you talk and carry yourself? I've never had problems finding a woman and I can be pretty geeky sometimes...

Anyhow, I just find it interesting that thearguements used to justify preventing interracial marriage are some of the ones used to justify preventing same-sex marriage today.

[JohnCrichton]

I pretty much talk and carry myself like I do on this message board. I'm pretty much Hip-Hop and "thug" free in my speach, mannerisms, and clothing.

Finding a woman's never been a problem. Finding another black woman... is another story.

Just a geek like anyone else around here. Things are a lot different now that I'm older... it's not nearly as bad as a couple years ago, but still, the amount of black women whom I'm interested and are intersted in me in return are in severe short supply.

[Mr. Pedro]

Who was that Senator who recently compared gay people to incest perpatrators and beastiality? Or was it a congressman? Senator Rick Santorum (R-PA). Right after the Supreme Court threw out a Texas law banning sodomy. http://www.cnn.com/2003/ALLPOLITICS/04/22/santorum.gays/


Back to the topic at hand, I'm cool with interracial marrige and relationships. My family in a product of those relationships (predominately Puerto Rican with some Native American and Jew tossed in).

My problem lies in the fact that I'm almost completely ignored by females of all races and ethicities. Wit and charm simply hasn't been able to cut it for me.

[Lucky Bob]

I don't think that interracial marriages are a bad thing. Shoot, all of them I've seen work out just fine. I wouldn't do it myself, though, for the simple reason that I haven't met anyone of another race that strikes my fancy (my age, anyway ;)) or, if she does strike my fancy, I don't strike her fancy.


The latter, though, also applies to white chicks. So...*shrugs*

[SSJPabs]

I pretty much talk and carry myself like I do on this message board. I'm pretty much Hip-Hop and "thug" free in my speach, mannerisms, and clothing.

Finding a woman's never been a problem. Finding another black woman... is another story.

Just a geek like anyone else around here. Things are a lot different now that I'm older... it's not nearly as bad as a couple years ago, but still, the amount of black women whom I'm interested and are intersted in me in return are in severe short supply.So I wonder, what does it really matter if you find someone of your ethnicity? Or is it a cultural thing (i.e. its more acceptable). I've never felt any pressure to find someone of my own ethnicity, despite my parents quietly hoping I would. Indeed I've only ever met two girls from my own ethnicity that I wanted to date.

One of the most interesting ideas to control over-population I've read in science fiction is that since the resources were so strained, as a stop-gap until something more permanent could be found, a law was passed saying you could ONLY procreate with someone of a different ethnicity. That worked brilliantly for a generation or two before everyone was so mixed together which became a starting point for the story.

I'm not going to ask why this is still an issue today. I'm going to ask why this was an issue EVER?Because for thousands of years, human relationships were based on same ethnic group for survival. The specific group of clan needed to band together to survive and a good way to tell people's loyalties were physical characteristics such as skin color. I'm not explaining it too well but I think my point is gotten across.

[JohnCrichton]

It doesn't really matter to any great degree. But yeah, it would be nice to share time with someone who did more fully understand both me and my ethnicity. I'd be nice. Kinda like if all my life I'd known only women who shared my ethnicity and while good people never seemed to understand me... if I'm saying this right.

There's a kinship that each enthic group shares and it would be nice to fully experience that sometime with someone I dated. Doesn't make any of the other great women that I've dated and befriended any less by a long shot. But it would be nice to experience a relationship with someone who was into me and also shared the same ethnic background, experiences, and outlook.

I could careless about now acceptable someone found my other interracial relationships. That's the last thing, no wait, it doesn't even make the list of things I look for in a woman.

[Hurricane V1]

My town's actually pretty cool when it comes to acceptance and tolerance and I live out in the sticks.

Most of our minorities, and we have a ton of them, are Blacks and Hispanics of course. There's a ton of kids with mixed blood. I guess after so many years, you just can't fight progressive movements. One story, I guess it's kind of heartwarming, I have is about this one girl of mixed Black, Hispanic and Pollish blood, she is pretty dark. Her parents died in a car accident so her Pollish grandparents raised her. You can tell they're very close because A) they go shopping together everywhere, and she's sixteen mind you, she ought to be shopping with her friends B) the grandfather will do everything in his power to scare off any 'playas' that come around his little girl, including my younger cousin. My cousin is just one of many who's trying to get her number.

I say the closest thing we have to serious racism here is against certain Greek families, and that hatred is usually based on money matters. In our town, all the major businesses are owned by these rich Greek families, some of which are very cheap. I just read about an incident a few weeks ago where a grocery store employee attacked the owner because the employee believed he was conned out of his holiday pay (ID4) for some reason. My cousin is half Greek, so naturally, I could never hate the Greek. In fact there's a lot of cute older Greek women that I'd approach if I had any guts, lol.

[Frank White]

Interesting topic, but first allow me to re-introduce myself, as far as diversity of friends I consider myself very lucky. I started school at a public school school with a mixture of everybody, when I was in second grade my grandparents moved me to a private school, where I was only one of three black people in the school. It was quite a culture shock at first going from a minority, to a like superminority. My first year there everybody was calling me Mario, who was the other black kid in the class, I didn't realize why when I was kid so I took it with a grain of salt. Anyway, I really didn't bond with or make friends with anybody there until around 4th grade. Before then, I only played/associated with the kids in my neighborhood. Anyway, like I was saying around 4th grade is when I started really coming out and being friendly with everybody. In the process, I made two best friends who were both white. Everything was all gravy but I always felt different(which I supposed was natural) in a way, plus, not to point fingers, but I felt like some of the administration was racist. But thats another story. Anyway, for 8th grade I got switched back to a public school which was predominately black. Yet another culture shock. When I was there, I at first made a conscious effort to hang out with other black kids. While I wouldn't give up my private school experience for anything, I felt like I was missing something. Once again, for a while everything was cool but I met these cool white kids on the bus and started hanging with them. I even started sitting at their table at lunch. When I tried to hang out with my black friends again I was "criticized" for hanging out with the white kids. I wasn't exactly upset, just sort of dissapointed. Although I could see why they acted the way they did. In high school I once again wanted to hang out with more black kids and was successful to a certain point, but I still found myself hanging out with white kids more. In the end I started hanging out equally with both groups. Now in college I can easily fit in with whoever I want regardless, of color. I'm still friends with my two best friends from elementary school and occasionally hang out with them. In addition to this, I never feel like I'm not "black enough" for my other friends. I think I attribute all of this to me getting into hip-hop. To clarify things, me getting into hip-hop had nothing to do with trying to fit it. I didn't have cable until 10th grade, so I wasn't exposed to it that much, plus I had no way to buy CDs since my parents didn't like it, but anyway. The truth is, most black people are into the hip-hop lifestyle to some degree. So I think that when I when I started listening to rap, it gave me a way to relate. Once I related on one thing, even more common ground was found. But at the same time, I never pretended to be something I'm not and I think thats why I could feel comfortable around all types of people. I honestly think the reason you guys havent made any "black friends" is that you dont really have much in common.(Although you've basically already stated this:sweat: ) Although I know Solitude mentioned, he was meeting some people at the arcade so thats real good. Solitude, my advise to you is get to know your new buddies, real well. As JohnCrichton was saying, theres a certain unexplainable kindship the comes with being around people the same race as you. Anyway, I'm tired of typing so I'll get around to interacial dating on another day.:moon2:

[Nightflower]

I am in an interracial relationship, but most of the time, I don't think about it at all. Actually, in my experience, Chinese people seem more likely to have a problem with me dating a white guy than white people would, for some reason.

[Ed Liu]

Howdy,

Quick history quiz: in what year was the last anti-miscegenation law (that's a fancy word for "marrying across racial lines") repealed in America?

The answer may surprise you:

2000, when Alabama repealed the last one on the books

Check it out (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miscegenation) for yourself (thank you, Wikipedia). This (somewhat poorly written) editorial (http://www.dailyillini.com/oct00/oct11/opinions/col01.shtml) on the eve of that vote mentions that South Carolina only repealed their miscegenation law two years earlier. The US Supreme Court declared anti-miscegenation laws unconstitutional in 1967, at which point sixteen states had such laws on the books (http://www.oah.org/pubs/magazine/family/cruz-berson.html). (That last link, while a bit long-winded, has a few interesting news items as late as the 90's about mixing races.)

So, the strictest answer to the question posed in the thread was, "Up until about 3.5 years ago, it might have been."

As it stands, I figure it's hard enough to find people you can spend the rest of your life with. Why make life harder for yourself or for other people unnecessarily?

-- Ed/Ace

[Harlan_Phoenix]

I see absolutely positively NO problem with interracial relationships. You can tell I'm a very tolerent person by my sig. Plus, you know, the possible ban of such will effect me...BUT, that's another topic for another day.

Bottom line, racial hate is ridiculus.

[sKorpia]

There's a kinship that each enthic group shares and it would be nice to fully experience that sometime with someone I dated. Doesn't make any of the other great women that I've dated and befriended any less by a long shot. But it would be nice to experience a relationship with someone who was into me and also shared the same ethnic background, experiences, and outlook.Yeah, there's truth in that. My boyfriend is absolutely wonderful but there are some things he just won't have experienced, merely by virtue of being born white. I'll notice when a TV ad showcases the blonde white girl with her backup black and Hispanic or brunette posse. Now, there's always a white and black girl and the third spot goes to the Latinas more often than not. I'm still surprised when I see an Asian face in my magazines or in the movies. It's not even all Asian-Americans who'd understand either. Third- and fourth-generation kids are so Americanized already that they're as puzzled as my boyfriend about some of the things that I notice and that I've been aware of since childhood. (I finally figured out that it was this subtle distinction between backgrounds that makes me simultaneously identify with and not identify with Amy Tan novels.)

Actually, in my experience, Chinese people seem more likely to have a problem with me dating a white guy than white people would, for some reason.I think part of that has to do with the pressure white people tend to feel to be non-discriminatory because they've gotten so much flack about it over the years. One of my white friends actually chastised me when I said that Asians are some of the most racist people I know. I was completely taken aback because I was just speaking from experience. And part of it is probably the background of the Chinese people you're talking about. If they're older or immigrants or older immigrants, then yeah, you're definitely going to get cold looks. I've gotten them before. And then you hear from all the Asian boys who complain about the white boys taking all "their" women . . . the same boys who drool over white girls.

I've never been much attracted to Chinese boys. All my girlfriends are like that too though; we don't seem to be attracted to our own ethnicities . . . or rather, in our attractions to people, we're not bound by our ethnic heritage. *shrug* Find who makes you happy.

[Chris Sanders MSX]

I had a long post made up but my browser killed it. Maybe later. :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

I'll just state my main point. It's more about your culture than your race. And by culture I don't mean grass roots but rather the culture that made you the type of person you are right now. You understand certain things that another person may not based on your upbringing and there for identify with a person who can understand that better.

Intercacial coupling isn't bad or evil. It's great. I'm more about personality than race when dating. If I can find someone who's willing to learn or can already identify with things I deal with it's all good.

[JohnCrichton]

Yeah, there's truth in that. My boyfriend is absolutely wonderful but there are some things he just won't have experienced, merely by virtue of being born white. I'll notice when a TV ad showcases the blonde white girl with her backup black and Hispanic or brunette posse. Now, there's always a white and black girl and the third spot goes to the Latinas more often than not. I'm still surprised when I see an Asian face in my magazines or in the movies. It's not even all Asian-Americans who'd understand either. Third- and fourth-generation kids are so Americanized already that they're as puzzled as my boyfriend about some of the things that I notice and that I've been aware of since childhood. (I finally figured out that it was this subtle distinction between backgrounds that makes me simultaneously identify with and not identify with Amy Tan novels.)

Who's Amy Tan?

You know it's weird.... sometimes as a black person I do forget that we aren't the only other minority out there or the only one that has a right to complain about inequities or feeling on the outside. I've Asian and Indian friends and sometimes they'll mention in a social situation that they know where I'm coming from or something about being a minority in such and such situation with a wink and I'll be for a moment like, "What're you talking ab- oh, ooooh yeah... duh."

You never consider how other ethnic groups seem to get left out of the hero spot or even on a simple commercial. See, that's why all you need to watch Power Rangers more. Not a show on television has more varied none-stereotypical ethnically diverse characters...... none. PR is where it's at. :p

There are little things like that that I wouldn't mind sharing with someone of my own ethnic background. The shared laugh of knowing. That same kind that geeks share with each other in knowing an inside thing, but instead of it being on a pop-culture level, on more a cultural level.

And as much as I'd like to say color doesn't matter, the number of black women I've dated ranks somewhere around none. Wish it was different, but like Jaguar, Solitude1, and I have said already... either they aren't interested in us or they're taken.

[ScientificDemon]

Solution to interracial relationships:
Keep screwing til there are no more races.
tada!

[Chris Sanders MSX]

Interesting topic, but first allow me to re-introduce myself, as far as diversity of friends I consider myself very lucky. I started school at a public school school with a mixture of everybody, when I was in second grade my grandparents moved me to a private school, where I was only one of three black people in the school. It was quite a culture shock at first going from a minority, to a like superminority. My first year there everybody was calling me Mario, who was the other black kid in the class, I didn't realize why......etc.:moon2:
Wow. This is almost my story. I'll tell mine faster. I grew up in the "hood" and in the "burbs" at the same time basically. My elementry school was in Chicago, so I had to be driven to my grandmothers house everyday to attend. When school ended I'd stay at her house till 5, and then go back to my mostly white neighborhood until the next day. I had friends of all races in both neighborhoods so I learned to get along with everyone quite well. My elementry school had a decent mixture of both races too up until 4th grade when it became all black, one hispanic and 2 white children. My grandma died so when Hoigh school started I went in the city and it was all black.

I'm good at relating to different people so I acted how I had to, to fit in. By Junior year I was tired of it and acted like myself and funny thing is no one said anything negative except my family. In fact it got a lot of people to admit they were into things that weren't so called "black". Fast forward to college and it's a mostly white college.

I started off hanging out with mostly the white kids cause my roommate was white and an extrovert so I just clung to people he met, that and I had beef with one guy and since there are so few minoritites at our school they stick together. He admited to not having any black friends before me and definetly says that I've opened his eyes to a lot of things and dispelled alot of ignorance he had.

Torwards second semester I found myself hanging out more with the black kids because I squashed my beef with the one guy. I too felt like I was missing something and it was true I was. However I still loved my old friends so I started to split my time between the two groups but I started to find out there were no groups. A lot of my black friends had been friends with my other group of friends, it's just they didn't hang out like they all do with me.

I can get along with any group of people and part of that is being able to identify with both cultures. There are lot's of people like us of every race, and thats why interrcaial dating is more accepted today because things are easier.

To those of you who never had black friends, Frank is almost right. You have things in common. But it takes talking to find things. But people don't like putting effort into such things , it's just easier to take the easy way out. Kind of like how some people would be less enthustiastic to approach a goth or a thug, thinking that you two are too different and wouldn't have anything in common. But thats's rubbish.

[Chris Sanders MSX]

Who's Amy Tan?
And as much as I'd like to say color doesn't matter, the number of black women I've dated ranks somewhere around none. Wish it was different, but like Jaguar, Solitude1, and I have said already... either they aren't interested in us or they're taken.
I guess I'm the oddball with this one. I dunno. I've found that easy, especially now that my college is mostly white. I didn't have to be in college a day before a black girl asked me out. I dunno, I dated a bit of everyone this past college year. One asian, one black, and two white girls. None of it led to an actual relationship but it didn't seem harder by any means to meet someone and get the ball rolling, just frustrating.

[JohnCrichton]

That's definately a good kinda oddball to be, Chris. ;)

[Mynd Hed]

Who's Amy Tan?
She's a second-generation(?) Chinese-American writer and author of "The Joy Luck Club." Her stuff gets assigned a lot in liberal arts college courses because she often deals with her immigrant descent and because she's one of the few really talented Asian-American writers out there-- in fact, I recently read a piece by her for a writing class in which she speculates that the reason there aren't more good Asian-American writers out there is that most children of Asian descent get more encouragement in math and science because of the stereotype that Asians are good as math. I don't know whether that's accurate-- it sounds reasonable enough, but it's the sort of thing I'd prefer to see statistical evidence for before I'd put my own personal rubber stamp of belief on it. (-:

[Mek]

I love the idea of interracial relationships, to be honest. :sweat: Don't ask me why that is, I just do.

But really, for me and a person's skin color, it all boils down to a line said by Liz Sherman in 'Hellboy': "White, red, black, it doesn't matter. They're all the same to me."

... Well, okay it's roughly paraphrased, but you get the idea. :sweat:

Honestly, I don't care about what color they are, so long as the guy is nice, funny, honest and caring. *shrug*

[Ed Liu]

Howdy,

Whole bunch of Amy Tan information (http://www.luminarium.org/contemporary/amytan/), ready for the taking.

Her stuff gets assigned a lot in liberal arts college courses because she often deals with her immigrant descent and because she's one of the few really talented Asian-American writers out there
There's more Asian and Asian-American writing talent out there, but she's the one who regularly hits the bestseller list, and thus gets all the publicity.

in fact, I recently read a piece by her for a writing class in which she speculates that the reason there aren't more good Asian-American writers out there is that most children of Asian descent get more encouragement in math and science because of the stereotype that Asians are good as math.
I think the stereotype came about because of the parental pressures, rather than the other way around. For a lot of the first-generation immigrants, I think math and science were seen as a better way to make a living than the arts. I know that was the argument my father used on me, at least. There may also be an element of avoiding politics and controversy and keeping a lower profile, which could be born from racism in America in those days, or could be caused by repressive policies against dissent in the home country for the immigrant generation.

I think this is also partially why you don't see very many Asians in the political arena. Many of the ones you DO see are Japanese, which I think is an outgrowth of being here for a long time (there's a LOT of 3rd and 4th generation Japanese immigrants) and a side-effect of the WWII internment.

Of course, you know what they say about opinions...:)

-- Ed/Ace

[EinBebop]

I think the stereotype came about because of the parental pressures, rather than the other way around. Not just parental pressure, teacher pressure. Teachers expect them to excel in math and sciences, and they try to live up to those expectations.

[Chris Sanders MSX]

Ah... then I guess that's different. I've only driven through the South. Never really stayed there... other than Florida and the occasional stop at a Waffle Hut. Those ladies behind the grill, I tell ya! Those lightening reflexes... it's like... they could see the future! http://www.japanhero.com/forums/html/emoticons/ninja.gif (http://javascript<b></b>:emoticon(':ultimatepower'))

Anyway, best of luck, man. Being black ain't easy, as I've had my own trouble (at least back in High School) with having a virtually all white cast for my band of friends back in the day. Ugh.... dark times those days. Took a fantasy book and a certain character in it to show me the way and how one could just live and be fine being who they were instead of trying to adhere to stereotypes that just didn't fit.

You'd think by the friggin 21st century people would have caught onto this by now. :pIt might be because my college is Christian but none of the black people held back or seemed to not accept me because most of my friends at school started as white and yeah the people I still hang out with regularly are those same people. I just find it odd anyone cared. In fact even when I wasn't hanging with the black kids people would treat me the same, the one thing i always said is that in this school I automatically have friends because I'm black. Like I could walk around campus and know no one and I was guarenteed to get a nod or whats up from one of the black kids.

By no means do I fit stereotypes either, not totally. Like my dress is a nice mixture of both cultures. Button up shirts, jeans and gym shoes. My speech has a common trend to it, like no one would accuse me of being white or black, just intelligent with a hint of flavor. It's hard to describe.

I've been labeled as white before but once again that only came from my parents and a couple of the white kids at school who were only saying so cause I was the only black kid they hung out with regularly at school, and would constantly ask me questions about black people. Which makes me laugh.


Indeed, black women (especially when you're a teenager) find guys like Solitude1 and I weird and uninteresting. Ones that don't are few, far, inbetween and just my motherlovin' luck usually taken too. :sad:

I think I'm like both you and while I've heard the weird thing. I've heard it from everyone. I think maybe your not going after or seem to not be around the more classy or weird black women. The last girl I dated called me weird but she was weird too. I think maybe you guys may want to find you a church girl. Although right now things aren't going as fast as I'm used to, I can definetly say I've never met anyone I feel more compatible with.

But girls like her do get snatched up quick or simply don't seriously date very much. Yes I can agree though that they are far and few inbetween, I guess I've just been kind of lucky. Considering things almost never work out in the end you may be right, although things never worked out with girls of the other races either, so maybe not.;)

[Frank White]

See the funny thing about black women(and most women in general) is that they dont want you, but at the same time they dont want anybody else to have you. I bet if you had a white girlfriend and was with her in public, you would get alot of attention from black women.

[Sailor Chibi Otaku]

As long as you're happy, that's what counts.

Where I live, we have hardly any black people, which makes us look like we're racists but we're not. For the most part, the majortiy race lives where I live (I'm white myself). We don't have any Asians or Hispanics and we have one black woman who's married to a white man and have been for like a good few decades. They have one daughter. I know that family personally. Good to know that their daughter didn't have to deal with people calling her nasty names. Same with another interracial boy I know. When he first got here (his Father's African American and his Mother's a British caucasian), he was called nasty names all because he's interracial but mostly because he takes after his Father's side (and his Father is a mixture of African and East Indian and you can tell by his face that he does have East Indian descent). That boy has like almost everything in him. The only race he doesn't have is Asian. It's no joke.

For myself, off the web, my circle of friends are white but on the web, everyone's different but I can't tell. Doesn't matter. We're communicating.

For me, I'm attracted to my own race, Asians and Hispanics/Latins espcially.

[sun]

No.

[Sailor Chibi Otaku]

No.

GOOD!! Scrolling needlessly is fun!!

:rolleyes:

A reason why many are against it is because of the fear that if the interracial couple has children, they'll get mocked. Of course, that's not a logical reason to be against it. People who mock interracial people, mostly those mixed with black and white, are the ones who have issues.

It's like saying a whole race or creed of people are bad because of a few bad apples. Not all white, black, hispanic, asian, native, East indian, mixed races are bad people. Every creed and race has a few bad apples but that doesn't mean that the whole group is bad.

Mind you, I don't like using the term "black" and "white" to describe those two races. I even hate using the word "minority" when it concerns groups of people. :sad:

We have our preferences on who we want as a mate. Respect that!! It's a new century. I don't think anyone will learn until the human race ceases to exsist. :sad:

[the Amanda]

1. I think that two consenting adults in a healthy relationship should never be a crime, regardless of factors like race.

2. I don't see a big problem with people having racial preferences with partners. We all have appearance preferences, whether we like to talk about them or not... but of course it's best if personality is the deciding factor. :cool:

[guinaevere]

I know a lot of people hate my kind. I know that a lot of them have stared right in my eyes, smiled, and then when they get home they tell their daughters and sons not to hang around me. I think its kinda sad that I realize this harsh reality nowadays.Geez. I guess there are people like that, but do you honestly believe it's as prevelent as that? I'm not discounting what you're saying... I guess it's just that I'm always amazed when confronted with racism/prejudice... to me, it not only makes no sense, but it's so destructive for ...what? To limit oneself? Ugh. It just baffles me.

One of my friends, who is also black and younger then me is trying to get with this girl who
1. has a boyfriend already'Nuff said. Leave her alone, till she's free game. Even if the guy is a louse, she's currently committed to someone, so your pal needs to forget it and/or look elsewhere.

I think acceptance of relationships regardless of colors and sex is increasing within each generation. Again, I'm baffled by bigotry. And don't understand why there should be any issues of people of different races being in relationships. I had a friend who felt it could potentionally be unfair to children, and children's children, if somewhere down the line, two black or two white people suddenly wind up with a baby not resembling them in the least... how likely that is to happen, I don't know... but it was an interesting thought.

That said, I've never had interest in having children, and I'm notorious among my friends for being attracted to black men... so... ::shrugs::

It makes me happy to know that the older close minded generation will be dead by the time I'm old. Does that make me kind of sick?...I gues so. But I really don't care anymore...its the closest thing I have to hope.Well, I don't think you're sick for not wishing to be ostracized over something you have absolutely NO control over by ignorant people.

But I will suggest that hope can also come in not paying attention to the misgivings and insults of those around you. Granted, it's more difficult when it's your family or your friends' families... But the fact remains, we must all rise above something. We all have our burdons and crosses to bear. It's in rising above it, despite the circumstances that builds us into great people.

Yeah it is funny.....

...but then again I live in the South.....I have to admit, as much as I love the diversity of Atlanta, when you hit the outskirts, you do find prejudice... The first and thankfully only time I witnessed this in all my 30 years, I was in Carrolton, GA, and was in a customer service line at their local walmart... I was behind some old fossil, sorry, elderly woman who kept complaining about the (black) girl currently being served at the front of the line.

I mentioned to this old bat that at least we're healthy enough to stand in line without problems, that at least we're free to buy and return what we need and want... which apparantly wasn't to her line of thought. She finally made some horrific comment that the girl being served must be on welfare... I just about punched her in the nose. I didn't, but I was so shocked by the comment that all I could do was tell her stop talking to me.

Honestly, most sisters just don't find a guy like me interesting. They want someone that KEEPS IT REAL, WHAT WHAT and all that crap.:rolleyes:Sugar, if they're only concerned with image and that others approve of 'their man' then they're the wrong girls. Trust me, you don't want a girl of any color, if her soul only goes as deep as appearances.

Indeed, black women (especially when you're a teenager) find guys like Solitude1 and I weird and uninteresting.Their loss.

But truth be told, so many of us with our animation/cartoon/comic/video game interests often have difficulty finding boyfriends/girlfriends that we're mutually attracted to AND have similar interests. Take me, for example (not that I'm looking for anyone because I'm not). I'm a jewish christian woman, who loves action movies, politics, shooting as many people as possible in video games, cartoons, barbies and my little ponies along with about a hundred other interests. I'm attracted to well built guys... but well built guys who love God and Jesus, but also dig Harry Potter, alternative music and old movies are sorta rare.

But yeah, it would be nice to share time with someone who did more fully understand both me and my ethnicity. I'd be nice. Kinda like if all my life I'd known only women who shared my ethnicity and while good people never seemed to understand me... if I'm saying this right.You're saying it perfectly, and you're far from alone in wanting to 'connect'. That's human nature.

Professor Walter Williams (a brilliant black man for those of you unfamiliar with his columns) stated that when he was dating, he was interested in only black women. For many reasons similar to yours... but not the least of which, he is simply only attracted to black women. :D

I'll just state my main point. It's more about your culture than your race. And by culture I don't mean grass roots but rather the culture that made you the type of person you are right now. You understand certain things that another person may not based on your upbringing and there for identify with a person who can understand that better.Exactly. And this seems to be a big part of what Solitude1 is going through. His upbringing, his family have instilled deeper values than just fitting in, emulating pop culture icons and going along with the crowd.

Basically the very same thing that Bill Cosby has lately been in hot water for addressing/chastising the Black Community so honestly about.

[JohnCrichton]

Fear of mixed children's weird to me too. In my 27 years I've never seen one get treated poorly. Even as a kid the one kid we had in our class back in grade school and junior high, he was one of the smartest and most athletically inclined amoung us... funny too.

I think people define who they are by their color too much.

[Fone Bone]

GOOD!! Scrolling needlessly is fun!!

:rolleyes:

A reason why many are against it is because of the fear that if the interracial couple has children, they'll get mocked. Of course, that's not a logical reason to be against it. People who mock interracial people, mostly those mixed with black and white, are the ones who have issues.

It's like saying a whole race or creed of people are bad because of a few bad apples. Not all white, black, hispanic, asian, native, East indian, mixed races are bad people. Every creed and race has a few bad apples but that doesn't mean that the whole group is bad.

Mind you, I don't like using the term "black" and "white" to describe those two races. I even hate using the word "minority" when it concerns groups of people. :sad:

We have our preferences on who we want as a mate. Respect that!! It's a new century. I don't think anyone will learn until the human race ceases to exsist. :sad:
I'm pretty sure when oldtoonguy was saying "No" he was answering the question "Is it a crime?" not disputing anything anyone else had said. Stuart's cool and definately not a hata.

[Nightflower]

I'm pretty sure when oldtoonguy was saying "No" he was answering the question "Is it a crime?" not disputing anything anyone else had said. Stuart's cool and definately not a hata.
Yeah, Sailor Chibi Otaku, that was a little uncalled for.

[Sailor Chibi Otaku]

:rolleyes:

I didn't mean it like that. Posting one word posts is a form of spamming. Not only that, it makes people scroll for no reason and the post gets bypassed.

[chevy citation]

And as much as I'd like to say color doesn't matter, the number of black women I've dated ranks somewhere around none. Wish it was different, but like Jaguar, Solitude1, and I have said already... either they aren't interested in us or they're taken.I'm a black woman and I'm confused by that statement. Are you saying black women aren't interested in black men? I'll happily have an interracial relationship but I definately don't count out black men either.

And I'll have to say that culture, environment, and economics has WAY more to with relationships now than race.

[Mynd Hed]

And I'll have to say that culture, environment, and economics has WAY more to with relationships now than race.
True, but since race has to do with culture, environment, and economics....

[Solitude1]

Wow. I'm surprised this topic got so many posts. I've just been reading each day so now I'll comment on some things.

A reason why many are against it is because of the fear that if the interracial couple has children, they'll get mocked. Of course, that's not a logical reason to be against it. People who mock interracial people, mostly those mixed with black and white, are the ones who have issues.

Its funny you mentioned that. Some of my adult friends who are against interacial dating, have given me that reason. They say that the child wouldn't belong... Basically the premise was, black people wouldn't like this child cause their white and vice versa.... WHAT?! was pretty much reaction. But then again, I only know maybe 2 mixed people around here.

And guinaevere, I'm not sure where you live but, I'm sure its upstate. Down here, racism isn't out in the open per se....its more concealed then anything else. You wouldn't notice it unless you stayed here for a few years or so...I really hate it here. I would love to move up north. It just sounds so much....better..and accepting.

I'm a black woman and I'm confused by that statement. Are you saying black women aren't interested in black men? I'll happily have an interracial relationship but I definately don't count out black men either.

No, I don't think John meant it that way. See... we're not your average black males. Definately not the majority....and uh....we're also interested in computers, anime, video games, all that kind of stuff that I guess would be seen as quite childish to the average black woman. Their aren't many women of our ethnic that our interested in these sort of things, plain and simple. If your one of those few, I apologize if my statement imposed you in some way. *humbly bows*

[I.R Joey]

What I find ironic is that people act like the idea of interacial mixing is some thing new. I was reading in my ethics book (Ethics: Theory and contemporary issues 4th edition) and it turns out that over 15% of the genes of the average urban African American comes from European ancestory (that or American Indian.) Let's not be naieve, we know full well that cotton picking wasn't the only thing happening on pre-civil war plantations. I mean isn't it now believed that Tom Jeffreson fathered a child with a slave? Seriously, even the claims of some of the most ardent advocates of race seperation have proven hypocritical (someone mentioned Strom Thurmands daughter) So no there isn't anything wrong with race mixing, people have been sleeping with people of other ethnicities for years. In fact given how many migrations have happened in the last few millenium, I highly doubt that even the most ardant white/black/brown supremicist is as "pure" as they think they are.

[chevy citation]

Their aren't many women of our ethnic that our interested in these sort of things, plain and simple. If your one of those few, I apologize if my statement imposed you in some way. *humbly bows*I guess I'm one of the few. :)

What I find ironic is that people act like the idea of interacial mixing is some thing new. I was reading in my ethics book (Ethics: Theory and contemporary issues 4th edition) and it turns out that over 15% of the genes of the average urban African American comes from European ancestory (that or American Indian.) I'm glad that you're aware of this but kinda disappointed you learned it from a book. I've been able to trace my ancestry to the slavemaster on both my mom and dad's family tree since I was four years old.

[guinaevere]

And guinaevere, I'm not sure where you live but, I'm sure its upstate.Currently I'm outside of atlanta, which is northwest Georgia. It's an interesting area with a mingling of two rather different communities
hicks/'good ole boy' area///where I am///atlanta/burbs (large black population)

And as I've said, in all my 30 years of living in three different parts of the country (dallas, TX, new england, atlanta, GA), I've only first-hand witnessed a truly racist person once. Out in the less cosmopolitan parts of georgia, shall we say?

Down here, racism isn't out in the open per se....its more concealed then anything else. You wouldn't notice it unless you stayed here for a few years or so...I really hate it here.Having no experience, or just never being aware of concealed hatred, I couldn't comment, except to say it must be a really awful feeling. As I've stated before, to hate someone for something as uncontrollable as skin color is about as stupid a way of life as I can think of.

I would love to move up north. It just sounds so much....better..and accepting.Well, having a huge black (& hispanic) population definately helps. :D

But until you wind up in a more 21st century burg, I do pray you're continue to be able to rise above the small-mindedness of folks in your area. Nothing burns another person more than seeing you conquer obstacles in your way. I don't generally quote songs, but Ani DiFranco had a great line in one of her tunes, "God help you if you are a Phoenix, and you dare to rise up from the ash. A thousand eyes will smoulder with jealousy, as you're just flying past."

I highly doubt that even the most ardant white/black/brown supremicist is as "pure" as they think they are.IR, that's an extremely amusing thought! I like it. :anime:

[Sailor Chibi Otaku]

See... we're not your average black males. Definately not the majority....and uh....we're also interested in computers, anime, video games, all that kind of stuff

And there's nothing wrong with that by any means. It's different but not in the bad way (I say not in the bad way because some people would use it with a disgusted look on their face).

We Toonzoners are lucky enough not to have anyone berate anyone else about something like that. I hope that those people would get banned if they come here and want to berate someone like you.

I was watching Jay Leno one time and that night, he had his "Jay Walking" segment. He talked to all kinds of people and their tastes in music. He spoke to a young African American man and asked what he listens to. Know what the young man said? Punk. Know how rare that is?? It is by all means not wrong, of course; just rare. Nothing wrong with that.

:)

[Ed Liu]

Howdy,

And guinaevere, I'm not sure where you live but, I'm sure its upstate. Down here, racism isn't out in the open per se....its more concealed then anything else. You wouldn't notice it unless you stayed here for a few years or so...I really hate it here. I would love to move up north. It just sounds so much....better..and accepting. Maybe. I've had two different occasions where someone slung an Asian epithet at me, both of which happened in New York City after 2000. The most recent was about 2 or 3 years ago by some punk kid on a bike in my neighborhood in Brooklyn. Before that, I heard someone call me a "chink" as he passed by on the sidewalk. In both cases, it's probably good that they got out of striking distance before I realized what they had just said.

Prior to that, the most vivid memory of racism I have was some schmuck in Penn Station back in the '80s, when everybody was afraid the Japanese were going to take over the world, who felt obligated to holler "freakin' Japs" at my brother and me. Several times. Openly. In public. And using a word that wasn't "freakin'." I got it pretty bad in middle school, too, and that was the 'burbs in New Jersey.

There's also the "You speak English really well" comments and the "So where are you from? Oh, well, I mean where were you BORN?" comments, but at least they're at least meant well.

My impression is that some Americans can be a lot more openly racist if they think you're not from America, and Asians and Hispanics/Latinos are still largely thought of as immigrants or "not American."

-- Ed/Ace

[guinaevere]

There's also the "You speak English really well" commentsI've said this to a couple of my Swedish friends, who do in fact, speak better english than most of us. But they're Swedish. As in, they live in and were born in Sweden...

I don't think that's what you're referring to, but I'd like to be certain.

Because it was a compliment to them, and their education in the language. My experience with Americans who learn foreign languages in public school & college could hardly hold a conversation of the most basic, were they in another country.



and the "So where are you from? Oh, well, I mean where were you BORN?" comments, but at least they're at least meant well.

My impression is that some Americans can be a lot more openly racist if they think you're not from America, and Asians and Hispanics/Latinos are still largely thought of as immigrants or "not American."
That... that's just very silly. :rolleyes:

[Fone Bone]

Howdy,

Maybe. I've had two different occasions where someone slung an Asian epithet at me, both of which happened in New York City after 2000. The most recent was about 2 or 3 years ago by some punk kid on a bike in my neighborhood in Brooklyn. Before that, I heard someone call me a "chink" as he passed by on the sidewalk. In both cases, it's probably good that they got out of striking distance before I realized what they had just said.

Prior to that, the most vivid memory of racism I have was some schmuck in Penn Station back in the '80s, when everybody was afraid the Japanese were going to take over the world, who felt obligated to holler "freakin' Japs" at my brother and me. Several times. Openly. In public. And using a word that wasn't "freakin'." I got it pretty bad in middle school, too, and that was the 'burbs in New Jersey.

There's also the "You speak English really well" comments and the "So where are you from? Oh, well, I mean where were you BORN?" comments, but at least they're at least meant well.

My impression is that some Americans can be a lot more openly racist if they think you're not from America, and Asians and Hispanics/Latinos are still largely thought of as immigrants or "not American."

-- Ed/Ace
True, true. It's bad up North too. I've known quite a few racists. Some I was in an abusive (to me) relationship with, some I was forced to put up with. No fun. I took comfort in the fact that all of the racists I've known have the I.Q.'s of mosquitoes. But the idea that there isn't racism up North is patently false.

My best friend's bi-racial (black and white) and she doesn't feel like she's being watched if she goes into a store up here as opposed to down South. That said, she has definately met racists up here. According to her there are three types of racists.

1. White supremescist, Hating is why I get up in the morning, I know full well what I'm saying racists.

2. I believe certain things but I'm polite about it, I don't go around preaching, I'm friendly to everyone, just ignorant about certain things, don't even consider myself a racist.

3. My parents are kinda ignorant and say stupid things now and then, and I believe some of them. I've never met any black, hispanic, Asian, or Arab folks but if I got to know someone of a different race I might change my tune.

The second two come from a place of ignorance and/or fear. The first is an example of seething rage and hatred. The second two can be overcome or (in number 2's case) not passed onto to future generations. The first can only be overcome by waiting for all the "Good Old Boys" and White Sheets to do us all a favor and die off.

[Ed Liu]

Howdy,

I've said this to a couple of my Swedish friends, who do in fact, speak better english than most of us. But they're Swedish. As in, they live in and were born in Sweden...

I don't think that's what you're referring to, but I'd like to be certain.

It's close, but not quite. My point is that I was born here, raised here, and never been to China until about 2 or 3 weeks ago. Why should it be noteworthy that I speak English well? Underlying the question, there's an implicit belief that I must not be FROM here, which can be really frustrating.

Admittedly, this definitely falls more into "racism of ignorance" (#2 or #3 in Fone Bone's list above) rather than "racism of malice" (#1), but that doesn't make the comment any less racist. I don't even like using that word to describe it, since there's connotations to it that I don't mean to be there, but it's all we got. The difference between people saying it to me and you saying it to your Swedish friends is that you knew that they weren't native speakers of English. It's kind of like how I will take it as a compliment when a Chinese speaker tells me my Chinese is pretty good once they realize I only learned what I know from college.

Also, just for the record, I think the right question is just to come right out and ask, "Are you Chinese? Japanese? etc" rather than "Where were you born?" or "Where were your parents born?" I'm generally pretty cool about it (actually, I have some fun tweaking expectations before I get around to answering the intended question :D), but not everybody is.

-- Ed/Ace

[SSJPabs]

I don't think that's what you're referring to, but I'd like to be certain.Guinaevere, bluntly it's: "Oh, you're a smart, articulate, non-white, you must not be from America."

Me: Oh I'm from Minnesota
Them: But where were you BORN
Me: Minnesota
Them: Oh
Me (thinking): HaHa! Stick that in your pipe and smoke it!

I don't get offended anymore, and just enjoy rocking their world ;) and with me, it's happened more times than I can remember. I have to agree with Ace on the difference between saying it to someone that you know is foreign, rather than someone you assume is foreign because they speak English well.

Aside: I can always tell the difference between Koreans, Chinese, and Japanese. I can't tell between various SE Asian regions that well though (i.e. Vietnamese, Cambodian, Laosian, Singaporean etc.)

[guinaevere]

My point is that I was born here, raised here, and never been to China until about 2 or 3 weeks ago. Why should it be noteworthy that I speak English well?Oh, duh. I got ya know. (sorry, now that I re-read your posts, this is blaringly obvious. But I'm a little dense sometimes.:rolleyes: )

Also, just for the record, I think the right question is just to come right out and ask, "Are you Chinese? Japanese? etc" rather than "Where were you born?" I'm beginning to feel as if I'm in the minority here with my attitude. But when I see an asian or hispanic person, the thought that pops into my mind isn't, "oh! they must not be American... I wonder where they're from..." In fact, I don't have any specific thought that pops into mind at all. They're just another person.

I don't know if that's my conservative upbringing, where I accept people for themselves, and not superficial/stereotypical outward appearances*, or living/working in more cosmopolitan/melting-pot cities, where one runs into Americans from just about everywhere.

But I think the only times I'm curious enough ask a persons nationality (as in, I'm American, but 3rd generation German), is when I hear an interesting first or last name, and can't place it.

*The irony is, in all my years spent online, I'm still surprized to find myself always assuming the person I'm talking to, if speaking english, is the generic American. And, now that message boards are so prevalent, I see an avatar, or person with a pic in their sig, I tend to see them as that picture.

[Speedy Boris]

To quote Seinfeld: "If everyone would just look to the cookie!" :D

[Storm]

And, now that message boards are so prevalent, I see an avatar, or person with a pic in their sig, I tend to see them as that picture.
So Gwen, you see me as Sarah Michelle Gellar? LOL. Kidding.


I'm super duper late on this topic but here it goes....


Solitude1,

I totally know where you are coming from. Being a black male who isn't into the typical rap music or the latest slang term on the streets is a tad hard to deal with. I listen to alternative music, I watch cartoons that would probably turn most of my fellow black friends away, and I watch shows like "Buffy" and "Cowboy Bebop" so yeah I use to get told "I'm not black enough" mostly everyday in school. Most of my friends like the same stuff that I like and are from all different types of races. Sometimes we (you and I) can feel like we don't connect with most of our fellow black peers but at the end of the day we are just being ourselves. I like to say we are unique. Now I'm not saying that most of the black community is "gansta, gansta" and the typical street thug you may see on "NYPD Blue" because most of my family and friends are not like that but with so called role models like Ja Rule and 50 Cent who actually preach that you have to be "gully" to be in with the lastest clich it doesn't help shedding the stereotype but I'm proud to say that tha black people is shedding that imagine and is becoming a more positive community.


Now on your friend's situation. I've never been in a serious relationship so I can't really say but I don't see anything wrong with interracial relationships. However you are leaving in a totally different part of the country than I am. From stories my dad told me the South can be a scary place when you're not a white male (sorry not trying to offend anybody). Your friend is in a type situation because he is about to open a can of messy worms. I would talk to him and give him your opinion and if he does not change his mind you can't never say that you didn't try to help him. IMHO, It's the person that comes to play not their skin color or creed. BTW, about the black females not given you a chance that's just them. Not ALL black females are like that and that's basically just teenage black females who are into the latest B2K and Bow Wow craze and really don't know anything about taste and not all black teenage females are like that. My friend who is black is a total opposite from the rest of the stereotypes. She's very artistic and dates guys who are black, white, asian, whatever.



- Storm

[I.R Joey]

I guess I'm one of the few. :)

I'm glad that you're aware of this but kinda disappointed you learned it from a book. I've been able to trace my ancestry to the slavemaster on both my mom and dad's family tree since I was four years old.
Truth be told I've never investigated my family tree that thouroughly. As for modern black linegae, it's just odd that's all, I mean I think about groups like Ellijah Mohomads Black Muslims, and other black nationalist and just have to wonder if they're aware of this.

[SSJPabs]

Truth be told I've never investigated my family tree that thouroughly. As for modern black linegae, it's just odd that's all, I mean I think about groups like Ellijah Mohomads Black Muslims, and other black nationalist and just have to wonder if they're aware of this.I don't care that I can't trace my ancestry specifically back more than great-grandparents. All we know before that is that my ancestors were well-off landholders in Mexico (back before it was Texas) and pissed it away.

Anyhow, I determined that from now on, the generations will be counted from ME! Hubris will save me! :p

[Solitude1]

I totally know where you are coming from. Being a black male who isn't into the typical rap music or the latest slang term on the streets is a tad hard to deal with. I listen to alternative music, I watch cartoons that would probably turn most of my fellow black friends away, and I watch shows like "Buffy" and "Cowboy Bebop" so yeah I use to get told "I'm not black enough" mostly everyday in school. Most of my friends like the same stuff that I like and are from all different types of races. Sometimes we (you and I) can feel like we don't connect with most of our fellow black peers but at the end of the day we are just being ourselves. I like to say we are unique. Now I'm not saying that most of the black community is "gansta, gansta" and the typical street thug you may see on "NYPD Blue" because most of my family and friends are not like that but with so called role models like Ja Rule and 50 Cent who actually preach that you have to be "gully" to be in with the lastest clich it doesn't help shedding the stereotype but I'm proud to say that tha black people is shedding that imagine and is becoming a more positive community.

Thanks for the words Storm. I definately do believe that guys are unique. Yeah I would have to agree that most rap mongels are definately not helping us with the typical thuggish sterotype of every black male. Its nice to know that here at TZ I can find guys that are in the exact same position. :)

And as for my friend. He's sorta backed off a little since the girl is in another relationship. Well I trust in his judgement. Thats all I can do. And besides he has plenty of girls that like him in the first place.:sweat: