Dating Question

[David the Joker]

Hey everyone, I have a question for you all. But first a little story. I'm 20 and started to date this girl. She is the first girl I have ever dated, but there is one problem, my friends. This girl I met through my friend, and they were dating. They only went out for 3 weeks and the girl broke up with him, because of a big lie. They have been broken up for 2 or 3 weeks. She liked me and we hung out last Friday, I just thought it was only as friends. But it ended as a dated and we kissed.

I hung out with her for a few times this week and I really like her, because she listens to me and understands me, but I feel that I'm doing a bad thing. Do you guys think I should date her (and be selfish) or be lonely again just to make my friends happy. I would really like to hear your opinions. Do you think I did anything wrong?

[Eddie G.]

Hey everyone, I have a question for you all. But first a little story. I'm 20 and started to date this girl. She is the first girl I have ever dated, but there is one problem, my friends. This girl I met through my friend, and they were dating. They only went out for 3 weeks and the girl broke up with him, because of a big lie. They have been broken up for 2 or 3 weeks. She liked me and we hung out last Friday, I just thought it was only as friends. But it ended as a dated and we kissed.

I hung out with her for a few times this week and I really like her, because she listens to me and understands me, but I feel that I'm doing a bad thing. Do you guys think I should date her (and be selfish) or be lonely again just to make my friends happy. I would really like to hear your opinions. Do you think I did anything wrong?I was in the exact same situation, however my friend was really kind and let me do what I want. Just talk to your friend about it man, I'm sure he'll be okay with it.

[guinaevere]

Blue Wolf is right. Talk to the friend in question, but also let the girl know that you need to resolve this with your friend.

Otherwise, I'm telling you, she may become very upset that you discussed her without her consent and knowledge. Especially with her ex-boyfriend.

Just be aware going into this, that there will be certain elements of the relationships (between all three of you) that will be hard to avoid and/or ignore. It's best to deal with this as honestly and openly as possible.

Get that all straightened out upfront, and your relationships shouldn't suffer. If anything, dealing with this maturely and adultly will only help all of you to grow as friends.

[David the Joker]

I was in the exact same situation, however my friend was really kind and let me do what I want. Just talk to your friend about it man, I'm sure he'll be okay with it.
Oh I told him Monday, he's really disappointed with me. And doesnt want to see or hear from me for awhile. The funny thing is he hates the girl, but I think he still has feelings for her, that why he is mad at me. I really I'm happy now, so I hope I did the heroic thing.

[Leaping Larry Jojo]

It's always an awkward situation either way. Even if he really doesn't like the girl, it is a man's natural instincts to feel as if he's been betrayed in some way when his friend and ex does this, even if logically it is totally okay. It may not make sense to be upset...but he is anyway.

At least that's how I'd feel if I were in his shoes.

If I'm you? I'd do what I feel is right and he will have to live with it. Personally I don't see anything wrong with what I'm doing in a logical sense. I'd leave the doors open all the time when he wants to finally sit down and settle it with me and her at the same table, but I'm not going to let him rule my actions. That may be cold...so be it.