Favorite Futurama Quotes?

[Animaniac]

The Professor- "Be sure to eat their brain to get their courage! Their rich, tasty courage!"

Fry- "I want a sewer burger but without the rat feces"
Leela- "What are you, on a diet?"

Leela- You know Zap, someone should really teach you a lesson.
Zap- If it's a lesson in love I suffer from a sexy learning disorder. Kif, what do I call it?
Kif- Sexlyxia

Leela- Fry, you've become a fat sack of crap.
Fry- Sack!?

Professor- Get off my property!
Free Waterfall Junior- You can't own mother Earth, man!
Professor- I can, but that's because I'm not a pennyless hippy!

Bender- Is he dumb, or just ugly?

Bender- These balls are making me testy!

Fry- Zoidberg is a great guy, he's got male jelly coming out the wha-zu!
Edna- Well that is where it does come out.

Hermes- Sweet something of somewhere.

Bender- Hey Fry, look, I'm driving with my ass!
Fry- That's the best thing I ever seen!

Lrrr (After eating the hippy and getting stoned)- These hands can touch anything but themselves! Oh wait, they can.

[Tienshin]

Fry: I can't swallow that!

Professor: Good news! It's a suppository.

[Sir T. Ghostal]

Zoidberg: (Breaks Professor's glass bottle) "Ah! Professor will hit! But if Zoidberg fixes it... perhaps maybe gifts."


Fry: (Get's kissed by Leela on the cheek) "I'm going to continue to never clean this cheek again"


Bender: "Bodies are for hookers and fat people."


Zoiberg: "Your musics bad and you should feel bad!"

[Lord Dalek]

Zoidberg: And I'm his friend Jesus!

[Animaniac]

^That's in the commercial and is not even half the real quote. Come back when you got something better!

[Lord Dalek]

^That's in the commercial and is not even half the real quote. Come back when you got something better!
Bender: Hey Baby! Wanna kill all the humans?

And in case you just recently got cable post 2 was from a previous commercial! :p

[Eddie G.]

::Steps up to the podium, puts on his reading glasses and looks at his papers, takes a sip of water::

Mhmhmhmhm

"Sweet zombie Jesus." The phrase never to be heard AGAIN!

Thank you.

::Walks away::

Oh and here's some good ones.

Leila: It's like a prom dress made out of carpet sampeling.
Nibbler: Yes... like your prom dress

Bender: When will people learn that all races are equally inferior to robots

Fry: That's the saltiest thing I ever tasted and once I ate a big plate of salt

God: You know you're doing it right when people aren't really sure you've done anything at all.

These probably aren't exact.

[Animation Otaku]

^That's in the commercial and is not even half the real quote. Come back when you got something better!
Uh, that was what the line was. The others had said some things before it, but that was all that Zoidberg said.


Bender: Hey sexy mama, wanna kill all humans?

Zoidberg: I did it! I'm the hero!

The two Farnsworths: Good News Everyone. We've consulted the scriptures, and it seems none of you are evil. Yes, the Bible is the real Good News.

Fry(to bender, about santa): No, he's pure evil.
Santa: I know, but I don't have a lot of choices.

Fry: Flexo is nothing like Bender. He drinks, and smokes, and posts naked pictures of me on the internet.
Amy: That's Bender!

Amy: Hey, someone posted a picture of me naked on the internet.
Bender: No I didn't, I just put your face on someone else's body.
Leela: Hey!

[ClockStomper]

Hermes-Is there any meat this man can't jerk?

Bender-These balls are making me testy!

Amy-How do I look?
Farnsworth-Like a cheap french harlot.
Amy-French????

Torunga Morris-Hey, you're not going anywhere until you finish your Tequila!

Mayor Poopenmyer-An elephant who never forgets...to kill!

[Animaniac]

Bender: Hey Baby! Wanna kill all the humans?

And in case you just recently got cable post 2 was from a previous commercial! :pNice! Now that's some good quotin' ;) :cool:

Algzar- "Now let's knock this up a notch with our spice weasel"

[Temple Fugate]

Farnsworth: [reading from script] Cough, then fall over dead.
Zoidberg: My God, he's dead.

[ClockStomper]

Nnunda: Would you like some human with your salt, Lrr?

Fry: I know that monkey! His name is Donkey!
Farnsworth: Monkeys aren't donkeys, stop trying to confuse me!

[Carolina Red]

Snooty college kid to Robot House: I say.....(happens numerous times)

Mars University Dean (numerous times): ROBOT HOUSE!!!!!!!!

Fry: Why couldn't she be the other kind of mermaid, with the fish part on the top and the lady part on the bottom? :D

Zoidberg: Ah, Chase Manhattan Bank! Deny my credit card application, will you? (destroys building) Oh, the Apollo Theater! Boo me off the stage on Open Mic Night, will you? (destorys building)

That Guy: My only regret in life is having.....boneitis.....

Parasite: Ever wonder what makes special sauce so special? Yo.

Bender: Hey, let's all join the Reform Party!

Leela (after hearing the story of Nibblonians): Aww....

Donovan's song about Atlanta and the song about Leela to the tune of the Kinks' "Lola" were great too.

[Haywood]

The very first episode, when Fry and Bender are in the Head Museum and both of Bender's arms fall off, but he somehow manages to pick them up himself and put them both back in, and Fry goes "I have no idea how you just did that."
I guess thats more of a moment then a quote, but I thought it was hilarious.

[Jaguar]

There are just so many...let me just pick the first one that pops in my head.

"Do you remember a time when cookies were baked fresh from the oven?
Petridge Farm remembers.
Do you remember a time when women weren't allowed to vote and certain people weren't allowed on golf courses?
Petridge Farm remembers."

[Teo]

Professor: "Tell them I hate them!"

---
Gunnm

[Yash]

Professor: "Tell them I hate them!"

---
Gunnm
I think the full quote is:

Professor: What are those perposterus things?
Slurm: Why, they're the (whatever the Futurama version of Oompa-Loompas were)!
Professor: Tell them I hate them!

[Sir T. Ghostal]

Morbo:Welcome back. Our next guest has been teaching the world to cook for over 20 years. But apparently my wife hasn't been listening.

(Laughter)

Morbo: I WILL DESTROY HER!

[The Gunnshuu]

Hermes: "My Manwich!"

[Eddie G.]

Thought of another,
Leela: (after hearing the true creation and meaning of the universe) So every religion is wrong!

[Animaniac]

Fry- Where are we?
Al Gore- I dont know, but I can darn well tell you where were not, the Universe!

Conan O'briens Head- I may have lost my freakishly long legs in the war of 2012, but I have one thing you will never have, a soul.
Bender- Eh.
Conan- And freckles!
Bender *Cries*

[Lonestarr]

Bender: "Compare your lives to mine then kill yourselves!"

Fry: "This is like that drug trip I saw in that movie when I was on that drug trip."

Bender: "Whenever I said 'kill all humans', I'd always whisper 'except one'. Fry was that one, and now I'll never get to tell him!"

Nixon: "I want this robot fixed, Brannigan. Fixed like Kennedy fixed the 1960 Election!"

William Shatner (to Leonard Nimoy): "I'd hug you, but you have no body, and we're both men."

Fry: "Shut your adorable traps!"

Farnsworth: "What do you think this is, a cheap joke? That's not what F.A.R.T. is about."
Hermes: "No, sir. Not us F.A.R.T.ers!"

Bender: "You're watching 'Futurama', the show that does not advocate the cool crime of robbery."

Robot Santa: "Your mistletoe is no match for my tow missile!"

[Flying Grayson]

These may not be exact quotes, because I can't remeber.

Bender: Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha, oh I'm boned
Bender: Screw you guys I'll make my own amusement park, with Blackjack, and Hooker. As a matter of fact, forget the amusement park.
(later) Screw you guys, I'll go find my own original moon landing sight, with blackjack, and hookers. As a matter of fact forget the landing sight and the blackjack.

Zoidberg: I took the liberty of fertilizing your caviar.

[MH Knights]

In the episode where Lela gets stung by the space bee she spills the jelly on the couch and Fry appears. He says something about waking up naked and sticky and asks if he missed all the fun. Does anyone have the exact quote?

[Anime Guy]

In the episode where Lela gets stung by the space bee she spills the jelly on the couch and Fry appears. He says something about waking up naked and sticky and asks if he missed all the fun. Does anyone have the exact quote?"Why am I all sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun?"

[MultipleSifl]

When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.--God

That's not covered by my insurance fraud! Count me out!--Bender

I wouldn't talk about taste wearing a lime-green tank top.--Bender

[Sir T. Ghostal]

One more...




Leela: Is it the secret ingredient?

Grunka Lunkas: (singing) Grunka Lunka dunkity dingredient,
You should not ask about the secret ingredient.

Bender: OK OK, we get the point.

Leela: I was just curious because of the armed guards.

Grunka Lunkas: (singing) Grunka Lunka dunkity darmed guards -

Bender: Shut the hell up!

[Lonestarr]

Bender: "I'm gonna float like a floatbox, sting like an automated stinging machine."

Shopkeep Robot*: "I'm sorry, Donbot. I'm unable to make this week's payment. Look into your hard drive and find your mercy file."
Donbot: "File not found."

* - (don't know his exact name)

Leela: "Invaders! Possibly from space."

Zoidberg: "I don't need anything, but if you have some spare courage, I could haul it away for you maybe?"
Farnsworth: "Who needs courage when you have a gun?"
Zoidberg: "All right. No, world, you put your hands up!"

[Fernus]

Zoidberg: We're going to have to place this video cam in you.
[Fry opens mouth]
Zoidberg: Guess again.

[Spastic Minnow]

I made this same thread a year ago, but am glad to see it back. I was going through the first run transcribing all my favories, here's as far as I got. I guess I should start up again.:)

Leela: Well, at least here you'll be treated with dignity. Now strip naked and get on the probulator.
-----
Robot Elders: Elders, execute funtion ctrl-shift-kill
-----
(Baby Got Back playing on stereo, Leela shuts it off.)
Leela: Fry, you can't just sit in the dark listening to classical music.
Fry: I could if you hadn't turned on the lights and shut off the stereo
-----
Professor Farnsworth: They say madness runs in out our family. Some even say that I'm mad, and why? Because I dare to dream of my own race of atomic monsters; atomic supermen with octagonal shaped bodies that suck blood out of your... (fades off)
-----
Fry: If I stopped to think ahead I wouldn't be emporor and I wouldn't even be here in the year 3000. It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. Then the winter came, the grasshopper died, the octopus ate all his acorns and also he got a racecar.
-----
(at the smell-o-scope)
Prof: Go on, try it. You'll find that every heavenly body has it's own particular scent. I'll just point it at Jupiter.
Fry:*sniff* It smells like strawberries.
Prof: Exactly, and now Saturn.
Fry: Pineneedles! Oh, man this is great! Hey, as long as you don't make me smell Uranus, heh heh heh.
Leela: I don't get it.
Prof: I'm sorry, Fry. Astronomers changed the name of Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all.
Fry: Oh? What's it called now?
Prof: Urrectum.
-----
Linda the newscaster:...this is one day that mittens the kittens won't soon forget!
Morbo: Ha Ha Ha, Kittens give Morbo gas.
-----
Mayor Poopinmeyer: Prepare for launch!
Prof: 5,4,3,2,3,4,5,6...
Leela: Just fire the damn thing
-----
Fry: Hey Professor, what class are you teaching this semester?
Prof: The same class I teach every semester "The mathematics of quantum nutrino fields." I made up the title so that no student would ever dare take it.
Fry: "The matmatics of wonton burrito meals," I'll be there.
Prof: Please Fry, I don't know how to teach. I'm a professor!
-----
Leela: So what makes Gunther talk?
Fry: Is he genetically engineered?
Prof: Oh please, that's preposterous science-fiction mumbo-jumbo. Gunther's intelligence actually lies in his electronium hat which harnesses the power of sunspots to produce cognitive radiation.
-----
Prof:...and therefore, by the process of elimination the electron must taste like Grape-ade.
-----
Prof: I always feared he'd run off like this. Why, why, WHY didn't I break his legs!
-----
Prof: Who are those horrible orange creatures over there?
Glurmo: Why, those are the Grunka-Lunkas, they work in the Slurm factory.
Prof: Tell them I hate them!

(has to be the best line of the entire series) :)
-----
Zap Branigan: If there's an alien I can't kill I haven't met and killed him yet.
-----
Zap: Some of you are white, some of you are black. You're brown... and you're silver. But I don't care if your skin is red or tan or chinese, you'll all have to learn to die together.
-----
Zap: The alien mothership is here. If we can hit that bullseye the rest of the dominos will fall like a house of cards, checkmate.
Kif: uhn
-----
Fry: I'm gonna be a science fiction hero, like Uhuru or Captain Janeway or Xena.
-----
Professor Farnsworth: Most videotapes from that era were destroyed in 2443 during the second coming of Jesus
-----
Leela: Alright, this is the third hose fight I've had to break up today. And the second using actual hoses!
-----
Zap: I come swinging the olive branch of peace
Nuetral Advisor: Should we trust him Your Nuetralness?
Nuetral President: All I know is that my gut says maybe.
-----
Nuetral Advisor: Your Nuetralness, it's a beige alert.
Nuetral President: If I don't survive, tell my wife "hello."
-----
Leela: This is important, one of these two men will become president of the world!
Fry: What do we care? We live in the United States.
Leela: The United States is part of the world.
Fry: I have been gone a long time!
-----
Zoidberg: Amy, take off these rubberbands and I'll show you how normal I am.
Amy: Fool me seven times- shame on you. Fool me eight or more times- shame on me.
-----
Prof: Go ahead, get into these net-suits. I designed them myself.
Leela: They smell like burning rhesus monkey.
Prof: Really? I guess when you're around it all day you stop noticing.
-----
Hermes: *gasp* It's the biggest Jamacain platter I've ever seen! Jerk Chicken, Jerk Beef, Jerk Pork, Is there any meat this man can't jerk?
-----
Mom: One Mother's Day 70 years ago the only man I ever loved walked out on me. Some snot-eating bastards say it made me a bitter woman.
-----
Prof: Now be careful Fry. And if you kill anyone make sure to eat their heart to gain their courage, their rich, tasty courage. (drools, licks lips)
-----
Fry: Words, noting but sweet, sweet words that turn into bitter orange wax in my ears.
-----

[PowerZord]

Fry: What happened to the old crew?
Professor: Ah, Those poor sons of... That's not important right now

[DarthGonzo]

Fem Bots: Bender baby, we love you.
Pimp Bender: Shut up ladies. I know it!

Fry: All right. It's Saturday night. I've got no date, a two liter bottle of Shasta, and my all Rush mix tape. Let's rock.

Malfunctioning Eddie: Hi, nice to meet you.
Fry: Actually, we've met once before.
Eddie: WHAT! (explodes)

Morbo: WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOODNIGHT!

[GMB]

Two random favourites:

Fry: "I need the apartment tonight. Go see a saucy puppet show!"
Bender: "CAN DO!"

Uhura (from "Anthology of Interest"): "Murder isn't working and that's all we're good at."

[009Style]

Lrr- (flying a spaceship) Whoa! its like i'm flying.

Hermes- My popplers
Amy- My popplers
Ziodberg- My popplers
Bender- My booze
(not sure if above is corect)

[Animaniac]

Fry: All right. It's Saturday night. I've got no date, a two liter bottle of Shasta, and my all Rush mix tape. Let's rock.
Without a doubt, one of my favorite lines/scenes.

Bender- Arrgh, the laws of science be a harsh mistress!

---

Professor- That reminds me, everyone take their suppository?
Amy Wong- Yes! Stop asking!

---

Fry- I dont like this place, it's a 120degree's with no ventilation.
Bender- Shut up and hoot!

---

Mom (From deleted scenes)- ***** slap that ***** ass *****!

---

Professor- You killed me! You killed me!
Leela- Oh my god, what did I just do!?
Professor- I just told you, you killed me!

---

[Anime Guy]

Hermes- My popplers
Amy- My popplers
Ziodberg- My popplers
Bender- My booze
(not sure if above is corect)I don't think it is, but it's still funny.

[Animaniac]

Human Cop- Stop him, he's trying to run!
Fry- No! I was just picking my nose!
Human Cop- Stop him, he's picking his nose!

------

Human Cop- The old dine and dash, huh? My daddy owned a restraunt and it's punks like you who kept him from going regional.

[Bogey B]

I think the full quote is:

Professor: What are those perposterus things?
Slurm: Why, they're the (whatever the Futurama version of Oompa-Loompas were)!
Professor: Tell them I hate them!

grunka lunkas

thats a +1 geek skill point for me

[009Style]

Fry- Well i did do the natsy in the pasty.
Niblonion- Yes and due to that past nastification you lack the Delta brainwave.

[randi]

Lets see I think mine would be in the episode "Bendless Love" My favroite quotes is
Zoidberg: "Yay, little friend. Good as new." *slinky sound* *explosion* "Aaaaahuhuhuhuh"

I can never get tried of that
And maybe in the episode "The why of Fry"
Nibblonian 1: "Your Mightiness!"
Fry: "Mightiness? Are you off your nut? I just got kidnapped by a bunch of guinea pigs."
Nibblonian 1: "Does he not know?"
Nibblonian 2: "He does not know."
Nibblonian 3: "He knows not?"
Nibblonian 2: "Knows not does he."
Nibblonian 4: "Not he knows?"
Nibblonian 1: "Enough!"
Those make me laugh a lot :D

[Swordfish_II]

Walter Koenig: When we woke up, we had these bodies.
Fry: Now say it in Russian.
Walter Koenig: *sigh* Vhen ve voke up, ve had deese wodies.
Fry: Now say, "Nuclear wessels."
Walter Koenig: No.

[candy17]

The Professor's "Holy Zombie Jesus" (and "Sweet Zombie Jesus").

These quotes from "The Sting":

Leela: Uh, were you just singing?
Bender: No, I was telling you not to worry. I'm not allowed to sing. Court order.

Fry: Listen to me, Leela. You don't wanna lie in bed like a vegetable and do nothing the rest of your life. I've tried it--Bedsores hurt!

I have more, but later...

[Mr_Millions]

I'm not sure where this quote in from, but Fry and Co. were in the 20th Century museum and they saw a car on display.

Leela: Did people drive these in your time, Fry?
Fry: No, nobody ever drove. Too much traffic.

long pause

[ElBarto]

Inside frys ear
Professor:*Whispering*Okay were in the ear we have to be extremly quiet
Amy:*WHISPERING* Okay professor
Professor:*yelling* WHAT!
Fry: What about what?

[spineblaZe]

I can't believe no one mentioned this yet... It's my favorite quote :sweat:


Bite my shiny metal ass! :D


__________________
http://gra.midco.net/thenut/spinesig/aniflash2.gif

[Anime Guy]

Cubert: Well, if it isn't stretchpants, no pants, and uhh...idiot.

Professor: There must be fifty papers there. That's a big number, fifty.
Cubert: Yeah, if you're an idiot.

Professor: Watch out, it's a cheek seeker!

[GL2k2]

(ANTHOLOGY OF INTERESTS 2)

"All right. It's Saturday night. I've got no date, a two liter bottle of Shasta, and my all Rush mix tape. Let's rock!" - FRY

(Brannigan, Begin Again)

"Leela save me! And my banjo, and yourself, I guess . . . and Fry!" -Bender

"Your Neutralness, it's a beige alert." -Neutral councilman

"If I don't survive, tell my wife "hello"." -Neutral leader

[Trogdor]

I'm not gonna read through 4 more whole pages of quotes, so I'll just say mine and hope nobody else has said them.

Hermes: MY MANWICH!

Zoidberg: Oh no! My house burned down!
Hermes: That just raises many questions!
Bender: Oh, so that's where I left my cigar.
Hermes: That just raises even more questions!

Bart Doll: Eat my shorts!
Bender: OK! Mmm, shorts.

TV Channel Guy: YOU JUST KNOCKED FOX OFF THE NETWORK!
Fry: Phft! Like anyone on Earth cares.

Bender: Well, they're tasty. How about 'tasticals?'
Leela: Nah, that sounds too much like those fried Rocky Mountain oysters on a stick.

[ZombieX]

From the episode "Futurestock":



Fry (whispering to That Guy): Hey buddy, I'm from your time too. Remember that song Safety Dance?

That Guy: Sure do! We can dance!

[He hums the Safety Dance tune and they both laugh.]

Fry: Y'know that dance wasn't as safe as they said it was.





That Guy: That's what I call a hostile makeover! Hair gel?

Fry: No thanks I make my own.

[Fry slicks his hair back.]





Fry: Don't you worry about Planet Express. Let me worry about blank!



:D

[Spastic Minnow]

Also from "Futureshock," it's been in my head since I heard it last week, whenever I get a little mad and I just feel like yelling...

Stick a bastard in it, you crap!
-Mom

[Swordfish_II]

From Godfellas:

God: When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.

[Anime Guy]

Bender: So, do you know what I'm gonna do before I do it?

God: Yes.

Bender: What if I do something different?

God: Then I don't know.

[FredNash]

a couple from one of my favorite episodes, 2-15 - A Clone Of My Own;

Everyone's always in favour of saving Hitler's brain but when you put it in the body of a great white shark (sarcastic) ooo, suddenly you've gone too far. and



Leela: They've blown out one of our engines!

Fry: Fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it! Fix it fix it fix it!

Leela: Only the Professor knows how to fix it. We have to wake him up.

[She grabs Farnsworth's night shirt and shakes him around. Fry blasts him with an airhorn and Bender empties a chest cabinet-ful of water over him.]

Fry: Try shocking him.

Bender: (shouting) Your social security check is late! Stuff costs more than it used to! Young people use curse words!

Fry: Damnit, we'll have to fix the engine ourself.

Leela: We can't you bastard, no one knows how it works. It's impossible.

Cubert: Nothing is impossible. I understand how the engines work now. It came to me in a dream. The engines don't move the ship at all. The ship stays where it is and the engines move the universe around it.

Bender: That's a complete load.

Cubert: Nothing's a complete load. Not if you can imagine it.
sorta long, but one of my favorite sequences for sure :D

[Kury Wagner]

"All right. It's Saturday night. I've got no date, a two liter bottle of Shasta, and my all Rush mix tape. Let's rock!" - FRY
I like that one too :anime:! And anything said by Bender.


Later,

[ZombieX]

#1.3 "I, Roommate"

[Fry is drying his hair using the exhaust on the back of the Planet Express ship. Leela rushes to turn it off.]

Leela: What the hell are you doing? You're getting a huge dose of radiation!

Fry: And great lift! [fixes his hair]

Leela: Ugh, do you know how long it's going to take me to recalibrate these engines?

Fry: Hey, when you look this good, you don't have to know anything!

:D

[Lord Dalek]

NETCROMANCY!