Greatest Jason Penopolis Moments

[SexlessJohnGlen]

Its gotta be his candy bender at Fenton's birthday party

[Jimmy Kustes]

Backwards hook

[Stewie]

Drawing a blank on what episode it's from, but his line "I'm getting screwed every which way." has always been one of my favorites.

That and when he had Brendon over to his house in order to get a better part in a movie.

[SexlessJohnGlen]

Drawing a blank on what episode it's from, but his line "I'm getting screwed every which way." has always been one of my favorites.

That and when he had Brendon over to his house in order to get a better part in a movie.

damn...i can't think of which one that is, but its pretty funny. i also love when he's being interviewed by Dixie Smithley and he's in the sandbox talking about cat's peeing in there.

[bassist]

There are so many greta ones...

"It's damned, damned hot."
"Makes me hungry just thinking about all the heat."
"Makes me hungry-hot!"
"Damned hungry HOT!"
"Damned... chips."

"Oh, but I want to audition cause I prepared a song."
"Oh, wel go ahead, you can do it, but, you know, I'm gonna get going, ok? You don't mind, do you?"
"Umm, would that still officially be an audition?"
"Yeah..."
"Ok?"
"See ya. Oh and hey, good luck!"
"Thanks, Here's a little ditty in the style of the great Brazillian jazz crooner Antonio Carlos Jobin. This one's called Brazilian Sunspot... Ahhhh. Ahh ahh ahhh ahhhhhh."

"Nurse, beautiful swan..."
"Alright, we gotta talk."
"Umm, we're kind of in the middle of something..."
A little later: "I'll kill you!!!!"

"Ok Jason, I'm going to ask you to pass me that cupcake and I don't want you to give it to me, alright?"
"Ok."
"Jason, could you pass me that cupcake?"
"Here you go. Pass me those chips."
"Yeah, Here."

"This is Jason. I can't come to the walkie talkie right now, but if you'd like to leave a message, please do so after all the beeps. BEEP, BOOP, MEEP, MOO..."

At the Hotel: "Whoa, whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa, whoa. Do you mind? Someone's in here.

[SexlessJohnGlen]

At the Hotel: "Whoa, whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa, whoa. Do you mind? Someone's in here.

totally forgot about Jason in the bathroom

[HomeMoviesFan]

"Need more TP!"

There's also...

"FOUND YOU!!" (Fat Her, "Brendon's Choice")

Or...

"I drew a train. And uh, I drew my mom in the corner."

And my favorite..."I KILL YOU!!!!" from School Nurse...

[~square~]

AHHH! I'm a monster.


"Maybe you should look at yourselves before you take it out on me, I'm just one monster! And when I'm gone, you'll remember me! Ow ow ow! And then you'll have to look at yourselves and own up to what you've done. For isn't every man a monster?"


I also like him in Director's Cut:

Melissa: I think the music is great.
Brendon: I’m not saying the music isn’t great…
Jason: Brendon?
Brendon: Yes?
Jason: I like it.
Brendon: I’m not saying I don’t like it, you know, guys…
Melissa: Brendon? I think this could be one of the best films we’ve ever done.
Brendon: I’m not saying it’s-Whoa, whoa wait a minute, ok, guys, look, its like, too easy.
Melissa: What’s too easy?
Brendon: If we keep doing easy things like this, then we won’t be hungry, we won’t be thirsty, you know?
Jason: Um, could I have some juice?
Melissa: Brendon, what are you talking about?
Brendon: I mean, hungry to do good work, guys. I mean, you know-
Melissa: Brendon you’re being ridiculous.
Jason: Brendon? Brendon?
Brendon: WHAT?!!
Jason: My mother said that hot dogs are made from horses…
Brendon: Yeah, ok, well…
Jason: The meat from horses.
Brendon: It’s the screenplays that drive you crazy, the ones that make you miserable, those are the ones that turn out great!
Jason: Brendon?
Brendon: Yes, they are made from horses-
Jason: No, no…you’re not making much sense.
Melissa: Brendon, you’re talking crazy.
Brendon: No, the production, is like-
Jason: I want a hot dog.
Brendon: Melissa, would you get Jason a hot dog?
Melissa: We just ate!
Jason: Melissa!
Melissa: What?
Brendon: That’s what I’m saying, its like hot dogs, its like horses…everything is smashing together like a crappy hot dog-I, can’t think of what!
Melissa: Brendon, you’re getting all worked up!
Brendon: No I’m not!
Jason: Brendon? Melissa?
Both: What?
Jason: Lunch break.
Brendon: Hey, I call the lunch breaks around here!
Jason: Well, call a lunch break.
Brendon: Lunch break!

Also: "LET HIM DRAG YOU THROUGH THE MUD LIKE HE DRAGGED ME!"

:p

[Sir T. Ghostal]

Brendon: Why were you walking around naked?
Jason: I love it.

[Jimmy Kustes]

Why are you dressed up like a priest if you're Jewish?

Did a baby put its butt on your neck?

[JohnDMoore]

I can't remember any of the dialogue, but the scene in which Jason has to explain to his mother who Brendon is was awesome.

[SexlessJohnGlen]

Why are you dressed up like a priest if you're Jewish?

Did a baby put its butt on your neck?
"Hey everyone...get a load of this guy. He stole from a charity!"

[MovieGuy]

One time I walked into my parent's room and my parents saw me naked.


That's all I can say.

[Stewie]

One word: "Hack".

"Brendon, I hate to keep harpng on this issue, but hack." "Totally hack move."

[Speedy Boris]

That and when he had Brendon over to his house in order to get a better part in a movie. I second that one- Jason calls Brendon's house at 4 in the morning and talks to him in split personalities. Makes me laugh every time. A second would be Jason falling for the female improviser in "Sensitivity".

[Stewie]

After reading these, I'm starting to wonder who I like more: McGuirk or Jason. Originally I would have said McGuirk, no question. Now I'm not so sure.

[Technocratic]

In the episode when they go to film at the hotel, watch Jason when they're talking about the permission slips. He had his laminated, and then when Melissa and Brendon move on and talk about something else, he's just admiring his laminated slip.. he even hugs it at one point.. that scene always cracks me up

[SexlessJohnGlen]

I just watched the second episode, I think, when Jason says he has pink eye and exzema (sp?) on his elbow, knee and crotch and on his head. then he talks about how his teacher hit him for picking his craddle cap and another teacher hit him when he pooped his pants...pretty damn funny.

[KBlueBiG]

My greatest moment would have to be from the last episode, Wizards Baker. Now to understand the context, I made the transcript of the conversation between Jason, Melissa, and the potential investors of the movie. My favorite is scene 3.

--------
Transcripts by KBlueBiG

1st Scene trying to get investors from neighbors
Jason: Hello sir and mam. Me and my friend Melissa would only like a minute of your time.
Melissa: Yes...you. Do you like movies ?
Jason: Do you like money. Let us in your house where, mmm-gonna make you rich. Rich rich rich.
<They go inside>
Melissa: The projected movie's money back making are...Jason.
Jason: Ah, well thank you Melissa, where looking at at least a few million. I would say in the ball park of a
million, or more.
Melissa: I would say your right Jason.
Jason: Yeah.
Melissa: And...you will be given a guarantee as a stock haver that the Wizard's baker will indeed make
Jason: I'm sorry, c-could, one second Melissa. What a beautiful baby. May I hold him ? Is it a him ?

2nd Scene trying to get investors from neighbors
Melissa: Hhh, well. Brendon, the director...he should be here, uhmm any minute to help us explain the creative,
things, of the film.
Jason: A-gain, I'm sorry about dropping your baby. Its a very heavy baby...uhh.
Melissa: Well I'll just go ahead and tell you guys about the movie.
Jason: Its a classic story. Wizards, cows. Melissa ?
Melissa: Yes and you put it all together in a big, uhmm...
Jason: Movie
Melissa: uhh-huh
Jason: And we're talking about making millions.
Melissa: Thats right.
Jason: Once we get the movie done, then the millions start coming in.
Melissa: Thats right.
Jason: Right. How are we doing on time Melissa ?
Melissa: He should be here any second.
Jason: Uhmm, uh your baby is eating one of the action figures, that can't be good for him.

3rd Scene trying to get investors from neighbors
<After Melissa tries to call Brendon and he does not pick up>
Jason: Naturally our director...is, extremely busy I'm sure
Melissa: I don't think he's coming.
Jason: scurrying around the city, finding new locations.
Melissa: He's not coming.
Jason: Melissa, please
Melissa: Our stupid director...isn't...coming.
Jason: Melissa, you're blowing the deal.
Melissa: Why me ? Its stupid Brendon.
Jason: Alright, I agree he's stupid. And you know something ? This is stupid!
Melissa: Jason, your blowing the deal.
Jason: NO I'M NOT. ITS BRENDON, MELISSA!
Melissa: WELL YOU'RE THE ONE THAT DROPPED THE BABY!
Jason: SO ? ITS A FAT BABY! HOW WAS I SUPPOSE TO HOLD IT! YOU TRY PICKING IT UP, MELISSA!
Melissa: I'M NOT PICKING UP FAT BABIES, JASON!
Jason: WHATS THE MATTER MELISSA ? CHICKEN TO PICK UP A FAT BABY THERE IT IS, PICK HIM UP!
Melissa: THATS IT. I'M LEAVING!
Jason: GOODBYE! <phew> I am so, sorry for what you just witnessed. But, I'd like to talk to you two about back end
points.

[livingfruitvirus]

"Speak Tonto. Pretty bird. Hello. HELLO! HELLO! BAD TONTO! BAD BIRD! TALK!"

oh wai....

[~square~]

"Speak Tonto. Pretty bird. Hello. HELLO! HELLO! BAD TONTO! BAD BIRD! TALK!"

oh wai....

ummm...

that sounds like it would come from Honkey Magoo...

[HumanoidTyphoon]

I can't remember any of the dialogue, but the scene in which Jason has to explain to his mother who Brendon is was awesome.That's probably my favorite. Others are the time he called Brendon at like 4:30 AM. When he was the monster His other personality "George" Drawing his mother on the poster and the I'll kill you line.